The story of what happened to Ghislaine Maxwell’s cat after her arrest is too ludicrous for words
As Ghislaine Maxwell languishes in the clink for the next year, she will undoubtedly be gradually discussed less and less until her trial actually begins – but, for now, this wacky woman’s weird lifestyle continues to attract headlines.
Yesterday, aside from the Independent suggesting the mucky madam is now living in a prison compared to “hell” and The Sun commenting on her ex-boyfriend having his yacht “deep cleaned” (presumably to eliminate all trace of the stench of her), a “dog and cat news” website named Wamiz bizarrely reported that “60 armed FBI agents and police” had to scour woodland adjoining her house looking for a cat that scarpered.
Aside from Miss Maxwell (or whatever her marital name is given she is actually in a union of some form) trying to hide or run from those seeking to arrest her, it seems her cat got “injured at the start of the raid” and then “ran from the house and was lost to nearby woods.”
The animal was found four days later and is “doing well and recovering from its ordeal” supposedly, but whether it recovers from having had the paedo procurer as its owner will plainly not be known for quite some time. God help the poor creature.
Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles
Last Friday, in anticipation of the drunken mess that would become ‘Super Saturday’ in premises of J. D. Wetherspoons across the land, I shared a Twitter video embed on the @SteepleTimes handle that did not surprise when it went viral.
The original tweet I shared came from one Keptin Quarantino and was accompanied by a description that read: “The pubs officially reopen tomorrow in England. We can class today as P***MASS EVE. I imagine many of you will relate to this video be it in Wetherspoons or somewhere else. Have fun, W**kspangles.” Whilst the 1:24-minute clip itself was indeed hilarious, what amused even more was to be found amongst the legion of replies and likes that came henceforth.
Aside from a witty comment suggesting that “a Remoaner pushed him” of the unfortunate male member of the drunken pair, I actually wholeheartedly enjoyed the Twitter handles of those that responded even more. The very best follow below.
Twitter might be a medium that attracts trolls, but unlike with the vain and the vacuous that pepper spray Instagram with their shameless selves ‘swerving’ for the camera, here is somewhere you’ll find some simple amusement: Take a look through peoples’ profiles and you’ll discover there’s more to an individual than just a life in a sentence.
A Life in a Sentence – SophiaS – @whatalovelypair – “As my dear old East End mum says: ‘She’s all fur coat and no knickers…’”A Life in a Sentence – Stephen Johnson – @SteJHindley – “Miserable sod that likes rugby. I drink too much and am lazy. Life coaching available.”A Life in a Sentence – Pat Hetic – @Mr_Pat_Hetic – “Too lazy to achieve my full potential so now working as a village idiot near Chesterfield.”A Life in a Sentence – Ceri Williams – @Cezzawilliams21 – “All my views are my own (and I have quite a few!)”A Life in a Sentence – Graham Greenwood – @graham669 – “Lover of classic cars and a life long nudist.”A Life in a Sentence – Dave Lee – @168dave – “Never been particularly politically motivated, but the shower of sh*t led by Bozo The F**king Clown have managed to change that!!”
As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021
Though one thing is for sure and that is that Ghislaine Maxwell will not be returning to her 156 acre “retreat” in Bradford, New Hampshire this weekend, a Twitter poll conducted by The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples has revealed that the public believe she’ll go the same way as Jeffrey Epstein.
In a question posed Thursday, a reasonable (though we’ll admit far from scientific) sample of 73 answers came in response to the question: “Will Robert Maxwell’s daughter and Jeffrey Epstein’s child procurer madam Ghislaine Maxwell last the week in custody?”
Response options and votes were as follows:
She’ll get COVID and die – 19.2%.
She’ll suicide herself – 34.2%.
She’ll be off to Israel – 20.5%.
She’ll be out on bail – 26%.
Whilst Mark Seal of Vanity Fair yesterday recounted what he had discovered about where ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ daughter had been for the last year, we again share with readers our picture of the last car that ‘Mucky Madam Maxwell’ was known to have driven when she was in London for her most recent visit to Prince Andrew and for the 2019 Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ rally.
Whilst Ghislaine Maxwell quite deservedly won’t be riding quite so nicely again anytime soon, it seems Cash & Rocket think they can move on regardless on and forget about their links to a facilitator of female abuse. Founder Julie Brangstrup recently announced that her organisation is unbelievably going ahead with another glitzy car tour in 2021.
53.4% of respondents to our Twitter poll do not believe Ghislaine Maxwell will be alive much longer.The house to where the paedo procurer will not return – Ghislaine Maxwell bought 338 East Washington Road, Bradford, New Hampshire, NH 03221 for £858,000 ($1.07 million) on 13th December 2019. It had been listed for £ million ($1.195 million) on 12th April that year and was marketed as a 4 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom, 4,365 square foot “custom designed timber frame house” with 156 acres by Coldwell Banker Homes. The agents bizarrely lauded the “fabulous barn for square dances and hoedowns,” but it is doubtful that ‘Mucky Madam Maxwell’ had chance to hold any of those during her tenure at the house quaintly known as ‘Tuckedaway.’
Totally Tuckedaway – A video of the house illustrates how secluded the estate truly is and this is plainly why Miss Maxwell chose it.Amongst those that partied with Ghislaine Maxwell during the last Cash & Rocket rally were Paris Hilton and ‘Queen of #JustSaying’ Caroline Stanbury. ‘The Steeple Times’ snapped the duo at a launch event for that ‘charity’ car tour at Bibendum on London’s Fulham Road on the evening of 6th June 2019.
A 1-minute “trailer” video about Cash & Rocket describes it as being about “women making change.” Founder Julie Brangstrup unsurprisingly decided not to include their 2019 participant and multiple women enslaver Ghislaine Maxwell in this marketing material.
Statue of late billionaire sex beast Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously appears outside City Hall in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and is promptly removed by officials)
A ‘statue’ of the dead sex offender Jeffrey Epstein somewhat bizarrely briefly put in an appearance in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday. God only knows why.
Positioned downtown in front of the city’s municipal hall, what turned out to be a gold paint covered mannequin was accompanied by a plaque. It read:
“Jeffrey Epstein (January 20, 1953 – August 10, 2019) was an American Financier who started as a teacher and worked his way up from a low level assistant to be one of the top financial advisers in the USA. He had a home in New Meixco, Zorro Ranch. He was also a rapist who died in prison.”
Speaking (with an “altered voice”) to Rebecca Atkins of KRQE News 13 on Wednesday, an “anonymous member of Antlion Entertainment ‘Art’ Collective remarked:
“We think we need an Epstein statue in every school ‘cos how are students going to learn he even existed? You know, those that don’t remember history tend to repeat it and so, if we don’t have statues of Epstein, how can we prevent the predatory behaviour?”
“A statue is just a statue,” the spokesperson added, whilst the local mayor, Tim Keller, responded with bemusement and commented: “I personally didn’t see it… I was like: ‘That doesn’t make any actual sense.’ So, that’s where I’m at right now.”
Pictured top: Left – The briefly installed Jeffrey Epstein statue; Top Right – Jeffrey Epstein with Donald and Melania Trump and Ghislaine Maxwell; Bottom Right – The paedophile with fellow sex offender Harvey Weinstein and Miss Maxwell at a party in Prince Andrew’s garden.
The ‘statue’ was briefly positioned outside Albuquerque’s City Hall; a member of the Antlion Entertainment ‘Art’ Collective that ‘installed’ the mannequin posed for a photograph with it. ‘Newsweek’ later reported that their online searches “found no websites or accounts connected to the aforementioned art collective.”In November 2019, the First Church of God Marseilles in Illinois were condemned for their “joke” sign that suggested Jeffrey Epstein “didn’t kill himself.” Though the church’s pastor explained: “It gave us a chance to expose people to Jesus and who he is, getting people to ask questions,” most simply condemned the move as being “in pretty poor taste.”
Whilst one ‘Observer’ reader suggests Alan Bennett writes the monologues that have replaced normal episodes of ‘The Archers,’ another demands a return to standard broadcasts about Ambridge life
In a letter to the Observer this morning, one Ursula Hutchinson [on-the-ball listeners may remember Ambridge’s resident villain Rob Titchener’s meddling mother was also called Ursula] of Newport on the Covid-19 app friendly Isle of Wight, plainly inspired by his brilliantly straight-to-the-point Talking Heads series, suggested Alan Bennett be brought in. She remarked:
If ‘The Archers’ monologues are to go on, they need to ask Alan Bennett to write them. We’ve just endured a week of Tony’s haircut. Please!
Ursula Hutchinson
Newport, Isle of Wight
Last Sunday, another ‘Archers Addict,’ Mary Evans of Heathfield, East Sussex got even more het up. In her letter, the “enthusiast” declared the new format “totally dull and frankly not worth giving up 15 minutes of your life for, however much time you have to spare at the moment.” She vented:
How I agree with Miranda Sawyer regarding the new format of ‘The Archers’ (Radio review): totally dull and frankly not worth giving up 15 minutes of your life for, however much time you have to spare at the moment. I acknowledge the difficulties of broadcasting but the archive episodes were much more worthwhile, even though I took issue with the gloomy choice – Kirsty being stood up at the altar, the Grundys being evicted, the floods.
My fellow enthusiasts and I will be putting ‘The Archers’ on hold until they drop this boring format. Surely as it’s radio it must be technically possible to cobble together something like the original. I fear they may lose fans who will be disinclined to return.
Mary Evans
Heathfield, East Sussex
We join both Evans and Hutchinson in their lament, but The Archers scriptwriters have thus far provided one lockdown highlight: An episode where the village gossip Susan Carter – high on ‘honey rum,’ as one would be after desperately raiding the dregs of the lockdown drinks cupboard – referenced sexual antics for those in their later years after getting spiced up on homemade chilli.
‘The Archers’ – set in the fictional village of Ambridge – first aired on BBC on 29th May 1950. It is the world’s longest running drama and thus attracts both accolade and criticism in equal measure from its somewhat dedicated audience.
In this legendary episode, Helen Titchener stabbed her husband Rob after he criticised her tuna bake.
‘Country Channel.TV’ went behind the scenes with the cast of ‘The Archers’ in January 2010. One character, Phil Archer, made the ‘Guinness World Records’ for being the longest serving actor in a single soap opera – Norman Painting played him from 1950 until his death on 29th October 2009.
The second part of the behind the scenes tour of the radio soap inspired by life in a village in rural England. It was originally billed as “an everyday story of country folk,” but is now described (more suitably for the ‘woke’ generation we sadly live in) as “a contemporary drama in a rural setting.”
Just as ultimate dumbo Lady Victoria Hervey shows herself up in stating “Fuck Black Lives Matter,” fellow aristo Dr. Bendor Grosvenor calls for the return of objects “looted during the British Empire”
Dimwitted dope Lady Victoria Hervey just cannot help but shove her stilettos straight into the proverbial. Whether be it her short-lived relationship with “he who doesn’t sweat in Pizza Express (Woking branch’)” ‘Randy’ Prince Andrew, or flogging knickers in her long since gone-bust shop in Knightsbridge displaying the words “Yes Please” across the crotch, here is a woman with utterly no shame and an utter incapacity to accept any kind of blame for her own failings.
Formerly nicknamed ‘Toff Totty Vicky,’ Lady Victoria predictably showed herself up by banging on about her associations with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell last year. This weekend, the bubbly blonde went further in posting a picture of the defaced statute of the Confederate general Robert E. Lee in Richmond, Virginia on her Instagram page. She not-so charmingly captioned the snap: “Don’t ever tell me this is acceptable behavior [sic]. Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter].”
Described by even a fellow socialite, the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, as “unpleasant” and “a right snob” previously, “luxury is in my blood” Lady Victoria was contradicted by the Reverend Robert W. Lee IV, the general’s great-great-grandson. He “gave his blessing for the monument to be removed” on Thursday according to the BBC and asked: “If today is not the right time, when will it be the right time [to remove the statue]?”
Going further of this situation on Twitter on Sunday, though talking in the context of the related British protests, fellow aristocrat Dr. Bendor Grosvenor – a distant relative of the present Duke of Westminster and a man best known for his stint on the BBC’s Fake or Fortune? art documentary series – tweeted:
“Let the Colston statue’s removal be a prompt for councils and museums across Britain to take action to remove similar artworks from display, *as well as* returning the thousands of cultural objects looted during the British Empire. Start now. We’ve waited too long.”
Sadly, yet not unsurprisingly, Lady Victoria – whose ancestor Frederick Hervey, 1stMarquess of Bristol ironically is best remembered as a “social reformer” and “an MP [who] voted for the abolition of slavery in 1807” – has previous form. In 2003, this ‘aristoprat’ stated: “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.”
Shame on this irrelevant ignoramus; it’s not Black Lives that don’t matter, it’s instead Victoria Hervey that doesn’t matter.
Lady Victoria Hervey with the Duke of York at a social gathering; supporter of the abolition of slavery and “social reformer” Frederick William Hervey, 5th Earl and 1st Marquess of Bristol (1769 – 1859).Lady Victoria Hervey’s offensive Instagram post was unsurprisingly met with disdain by many. One responded: “Wait, hold up Lady are you saying Fuck Black Lives ???” Another added: “But think you got to be careful saying fuck BLM… That’s not acceptable TBH. It’s offensive.” Dr. Bendor Grosvenor’s, by contrast, sensible tweet.
Classic clangers from former ‘It Girl’ Lady Victoria Hervey:
“I am Lady Victoria Hervey – it doesn’t get more British than that.”
“Unless it’s champagne, I can’t handle it.”
“I do have a day job.”
“My career always goes much better when I haven’t got a man.”
“A baby is easy – you hand them over to a nanny!”
“I’m not stupid. I’m not a dumb model.”
“[I aim to become] the next Kate Winslet – but with class.”
“I have had four past lives, three of them as a man. I was a composer in 17th-century Paris, I made materials in India and in Ancient Greece I was a famous politician. In Ancient Egypt I was keeper of the oils for the Pharaoh’s wife, and I love oils so it all kind of fits.”
“What annoys me is when these families have got like 12 children and we’re paying for these kids… They work out that they make more money being on the dole than having a job, they just laze around.”
“The real irony of this is that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”
“Travelling is in my blood, and so is liking luxurious things and spending.”
“I haven’t given up on men, there are a few of them around, but I keep leaving every city I meet them in.”
“Everyone from Europe wants to buy houses in LA.”
“I was too old for Jeffrey Epstein… [He seemed] very charming… He was a very well-liked guy.”
“I’m not one of those kind of girls, I don’t like going to dinners with ten models invited… I was very young and impressionable, Jeffrey was a very charismatic man.”
“I haven’t seen [Ghislaine Maxwell] since September [2018] at a friend’s baby shower… I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.”
“I had no idea what was going on [with Jeffrey Epstein]… It’s extraordinary it’s the case, it’s a wild story.”
“I suddenly thought, I’m just Victoria Hervey… Horrible.”
“I don’t want to make enemies.”
Pictured top: Lady Victoria Hervey with Ghislaine Maxwell, the alleged madam and procurer of girls for paedophile Jeffey Epstein.
White woman Kris Schatzel caught posing with a ‘Black Lives Matter’ sign in a “slutty” outfit is exposed as a clickbait crazy ‘Protest Barbie’
“Stop treating the protests like Coachella pt. 17” raged ‘Influencers in the Wild’ of a white woman posing for her personal photographer with a ‘Black Lives Matters’ sign on a Zebra crossing. She was wearing what The Independent far too generously termed a “black floaty gown” in a video of the incident, posted on Twitter on Friday.
The woman’s dress – which most certainly “looked more like a slutty slapper’s sloppy seconds” and left little of her cleavage to the imagination – attracted great interest from the 157,000 followers of the account. With 15.7 million views, 400,000 likes and 6,600 retweets within 24 hours, here was an example of the social media loving millennial generation at its very worst.
This morning’s Mirror subsequently named and shamed the “model” as Kris Schatzel and the photographer as Mila Voyna. The paper claimed the Russian had generated “mass outrage” and then after declaring: “This is a huge misunderstanding!!! Later I will explain everything an [sic] apologise!” Schatzel unsurprisingly decided she wanted privacy and deleted her Twitter account.
“Clickbait crazy” is the only description suitable for this abhorrent woman and her ridiculous behaviour. May she now please disappear permanently.
Observations about Kris Schatzel elsewhere online included:
“The opposite of feminism. Go read a book.”
“Put some clothes on hoe!”
“What an ugly woman. In all senses.”
“She’s not an influencer. She’s an ignoramus.”
“She’ll be making merchandise branded with ‘Black Lives Matters’ on it next.”
“Send her back to Putin. Or give her to Donald. Both like Soviet trollops.”
“A shame for her Jeffrey Epstein isn’t still around. Just his type. Get her on the Lolita Express.”
“Is that Ghislaine Maxwell hiding behind that camera? Now we know where you’ve been Ghis!”
“She needs attention. Attention in the mental asylum. Lock her up and throw away the key!”
“Shop her. She’s probably an illegal. Get her back on a boat to Russia. Mind you, they would probably just send her back too.”
“Oh no…. oh no. Look at her. Uh-uh. This is bulls**t.”
“Her parents must be insanely proud of what they’ve produced.”
“Did she consider looking in a mirror before going out in that filthy piece of rag?”
“She is absolute trash… Kris Schatzel should be cancelled.”
“I think Kris Schatzel will need to find a new ‘career’ after this. Any brands associated with her from now on need to get dragged.”
“I hope she has talents other than posing, pouting and getting her tits out cause she is gonna need to a find a real job after this.”
“Protest Barbie… She needs to get a little lesson in oppression.”
“Her face needs to be seen… Just horrible… She’s not an influencer… She’s a loser with no respect for others.”
“Kris Schatzel, you’re a jackass. ‘I speak four languages, none of which is empathy’ sums her up.”
Pictured top: Kris Schatzel flashes her leg whilst posing with a ‘Black Lives Matters’ sign indicating utterly no interest in anything other than promoting her sorry self as genuine protestors look on in shock.
Kris Schatzel – The girl in the video has now made her Instagram account private. On its introduction she boasts: “Made in Russia, influencer/youtuber/model, I’m Kris and I speak 4 languages.” One of them is most certainly not tact.In this image, Miss Schatzel seems keener on getting her bra out than on in the cause in hand.Twitter user @Amelia_mcJ rightly summed up how people should react: “I dare say Kris Schatzel is CANCELLED!”
Dominic Cummings mouthpiece Dan Wootton yet again shows himself to be a bit of a berk in attacking both ‘Tatler’ and Sir Keir Starmer in one hit in his column in ‘The Sun’
Dan Wootton has previously been branded a “deeply unpleasant” sort and today he yet again showed his true credentials in attacking two completely unrelated entities, Tatler and Sir Keir Starmer, in his diabolically dire column in The Sun.
Executive editor of the banned-in-Liverpool ‘paper’ Wootton – a New Zealander known for his “less than stellar career” according to Zelo Street – pathetically branded “dripping-with-bile” Tatler a “repulsive… bible for the elite… that makes my skin crawl” simply because it had dared to criticise the Duchess of Cambridge. He raged: “Tatler should be shunned because of the vile way it perpetuates a class system that does so much damage to society. Not Quite Our Magazine, Darling.”
Dan Wootton slammed the “lack of class from snobs at Tatler” on Friday in his “big exclusives, bold opinion” column.
Turning to Sir Keir Starmer, whom thus far has shown himself as quite the stellar opposite of Jeremy Corbyn, self-declared “working-class lad” Wootton’s analysis was clear: “The same old politics from the same old Labour… Up to its old tricks.”
On Dominic Cummings (who’d probably have preferred even Katie Hopkins as a defender): “Make no mistake, the establishment is out to get Dominic Cummings… I despair.”
Twerp of Twitter, ‘Shady Steph’ – a washed-up wastrel who’ll not be giving Albert Einstein a run for his money any day soon – posted the comment: “Shoot the looters” on Monday, but deleted the remark after being quite correctly reminded she’d been arrested for stealing £1,033 ($1,300) of clothing from Neiman Marcus in May 2006. Whilst in custody this rotten ratbag was also found to be in the possession of drugs.
Reported to Twitter for “inciting violence” and called out a “worthless good for nothing tw*t,” pointless pillock Pratt did not stop there. Further examples of this dumb blonde’s recent social media ‘activity’ follows.
Poor lamb – Pratt highlighted her first world problems in May. She couldn’t find an airline willing to take her and her pooch.Shopped out – In April, this alleged-no-longer-a-junkie tried to claim she’d found a new addiction: Amazon. Anyone got a polygraph machine handy?Music’s not her forte – In March, madam shared news of someone we’ve never heard of writing a song about “the horrible coronavirus.” Her sentiments made sense to just about no one.We’re sure the Queen was touched – In January, Pratt claimed to be “in complete denial” about Prince Harry and his wife quitting royal duties. The reality car wreck most likely hankers after the dastardly duo becoming her new ‘besties.’Cleaned out – In November last year, ‘Shady Steph’ shared news that she cleans her house before her cleaner arrives. Anyone surprised? Anyone guessing she might have a lot of white stuff to hoover up?
Matthew Steeples remembers the Liverpudlian actor and voice of ‘Thomas & Friends’ Michael Angeliswho sadly passed away yesterday
Screen and voice actor Michael Angelis was the narrator of Thomas & Friends for twenty-one years. He took over the role from Ringo Starr and in tribute, following his death, Doctor Who writer Harry Draper remarked of him on Twitter: “Thank you, Michael. You were far more than just Really Useful.”
Born in Liverpool in 1952, Angelis appeared in everything from A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square to Boys from the Blackstuff and Lovejoy. He was subsequently married to his Coronation Street co-star Helen Worth from 1991 to 2001 and other credits included Bergerac, Crown Court, Hazell, Midsomer Murders, Minder and Z-Cars.
An amiable sort and often spotted socialising in Chelsea at such places as The Sydney Arms, Angelis lived for many years just to the south of Albert Bridge. More recently, this lively Liverpudlian moved to the countryside with his delightful second wife, Jennifer, and after passing away suddenly yesterday will be missed by many. As a fan concluded: “He was the voice of my childhood… He brought us all a lot of happiness.”
Pictured top: Thomas The Tank Engine, Michael Angelis (18th January 1952 – 30th May 2020) and his wife Jennifer.
On Twitter, actor and comedian Matt Lucas paid tribute by remarking: “Michael Angelis was one of the greatest TV actors I’ve ever seen. His work with Alan Bleasdale was tremendous. What a loss.” Here he is pictured in a scene from the BBC’s ‘Single Voices’ in the monologue ‘The Last Supper’ in 1989.
