Tuesday, October 19, 2021

E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

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As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going

‘Doing a Bernie’ became the stock description of a political bung of £1 million in the Blair years and now, in ‘Bosie The Clown’ Britain, it seems ‘a Robert Jenrick’ should be the description for a much cheaper option: A £12,000 donation that allegedly could have “handed Tory donor [Richard Desmond an] extra £106 million.”

 

Now, at a time when coronavirus deaths look set to once again spike with what is sadly going on in Leicester being our starter-for-ten, our government has decided to put lives at risk in another totally avoidable way. Last night, in announcing that the ban on rentable e-scooters will be lifted on Britain’s roads for 12 months, Tory transport minister Rachel Maclean did just such and now this moronic woman also leaves herself open to questions of sleaze as well.

 

Under Maclean’s new rules, set to come into play from Saturday, rental scooters will be allowed on roads, but not pavements. Privately owned e-scooters, for now, however, will continue to be illegal.

 

Opening up a line for substantial profits for those set to own and manage rental e-scooter operations, Maclean is endangering the public quite unnecessarily. Whilst she argues that her scheme will “ease the burden on the transport network… and allow for social distancing,” she neglects to mention that in July last year, YouTuber Emily Hartridge died after being struck by a lorry in Battersea whilst riding an e-scooter on the road. There have been many injuries as a result of accidents caused by these ridiculous contraptions in addition on both roads and pavements.

 

Last night, in response to the news, registered blind disability awareness campaigner Deborah Farley-Persaud told the BBC: “[E-scooters] are frightening because you can’t hear them and you can’t see them.” Mrs Farley-Pesaud was “injured last year following a collision with an e-scooter” in Old Street and now “does not feel safe to go out.” She added: “They clearly haven’t got any regard for the rules of the road,” whilst previously Colin Wingrove of the Metropolitan Police stated: “Electric scooters should not be on the pavement or the road.”

 

As was pointed out by Inc. in their winter 2018/2019 edition, one e-scooter rental operator in America, Bird, was alone valued at £1.6 billion. The numbers involved in this new market are potentially colossal and now, in the UK, the questions that need to be answered are:

 

  • “What donations have those who’ll be operating e-scooter rental businesses in Britain given to the Conservative Party to date?”
  • And: “Who’s been Robert Jenrick-ed?”

 

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E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
Rachel Maclean took to Twitter on Tuesday to boast about having “accelerated [e-scooter] trials to provide a safe, fun and zero emission way to travel!” One is left asking: “What really motivated her actions?”
E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
Many Twitter users reacted with fury at the decision. One suggested: “A&E is going to be rammed” whilst another argued the “trouble with e-scooters… is the people who ride them.” They added: “Unfortunately there will be deaths because they don’t stick to road rules.”
E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
Another tweeted: “This coincides with half the population hitting the pubs with a thirst like a kangaroo’s jockstrap. Excellent.” Another quite rightly pointed out: “They are really dangerous for pedestrians.”
E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
In July 2019, ‘The Steeple Times’ reported on a twerp named Ambar Zohra bashing into a pensioner on a scooter in Walton Street, Chelsea. At the time, this foul-mouthed horror was rightly asked by Jane Morris of Percy Bass: “Where do you think you are from? The five floors of whores?”
E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
In August 2019, ‘The Steeple Times’ highlighted an example of a danger on the road on an e-scooter. Of this particular terror, a taxi driver rightly observed: “If I’d hit him, I’d have blood on my hands but he isn’t meant to be there. He is breaking the law purely by his presence. He should be prosecuted and that thing should be confiscated.”
Emily Hartridge tragically died after being hit by a lorry whilst on her e-scooter in Battersea in July 2019. After such an occurrence, you’d think the government would ban these dangerous contraptions; Conservative minister Rachel Maclean has shamefully gone and done to the contrary.
E-scooters are deservedly disliked contraptions. They are, after all, dangerous and generally operated by irresponsible idiots.
Vile porn star and alleged sex offender Ron Jeremy “nearly died” on an e-scooter in October 2017.
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

8 COMMENTS

  1. My money is on Bernie Ecclestone having a share in an e-scooter company. He needs to earn some money after that big tax bill and to pay for those daughters flopping about liked whales on his yacht during lockdown. Did Tony Blair consult on this and perhaps that eco freak David Cameron too?

  2. Get an e-scooter and get hit by a truck! Great Youtube video that! Emily Hartridge was a prat and she got herself killed. Stupid girl.

  3. I wait for the fires to begin. The batteries can spontaneously combust when charged. Snap, Crackle, Pop. No crash helmets will lead to hospital treatments that will eclipse Coronavirus intakes.

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