Thursday, April 22, 2021

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey

“Bombed out” wannabe Mayor of London Shaun Bailey’s deceptive ‘London Life’ called out for exactly what it is by ‘This Is North Kensington’ – “An election leaflet disguised as a magazine” (featuring ‘Poundland muckspreader’ Karren Brady)

Conservative crackpot Shaun Bailey plainly thinks hanging around with self-serving D-listers like Karren Brady (AKA ‘Mrs Blowjob or No Job’) will improve his electoral chances in his quest to become the next Mayor of London.

 

After making a prized pillock of himself in an interview with B-lister David Walliams in GQ in November 2020, Bailey returned to the fray by shoving an eight-page rag with the deceptive title London Life through the doors of the electorate he is seeking to attract recently.

 

Though this glossy rag bizarrely hasn’t even been received in many parts of affluent SW3 – an area he’d surely like to sew up as secured early, but has totally avoided thus far – his London Life literature was quite rightly condemned last week by the crusading THis Is North Kensington as an “election leaflet disguised as a magazine.”

 

Of a mouse-not-a-man mocked as resembling “a mobile phone salesman not the potential mayor of a super city” by From The Hornets Nest, THINK referenced London Life’s feature interview between Bailey and a woman mocked as a “flogger of dildos” on the football terraces turned Lord Sugar’s sidekick on The Apprentice, Karren Brady. Their analysis concluded that the content was anything but impressive and summed up in the words: “And no, we don’t think he will win… That phone shop beckons.”

 

Moving on, THINK then opted to include an image of a ‘featurette’ centred around ‘9 Questions with Shaun Bailey.’ Answering, braindead Bailey declared: “I can do a standing backflip” and stated he loves “eating too many doughnuts; Greggs in particular.” Is this what London really requires in a leader as its economy seeks to bounce back in the post coronavirus era?

 

Elsewhere, the Mirror pointed out various glaring errors in a man they called ‘Bungling Bailey’s’ “glossy faux-magazine.” Aside from sharing that London Life bizarrely “only includes one reference to the Conservative Party,” they mockingly pointed to a glaring error:

 

“The leaflet also includes a quote from someone named as ‘Beth, one of the young people Shaun helped as a youth worker.’ But in the quote, ‘Beth’ describes herself as ‘a lad from a council estate.’”

 

On Oddschecker this morning, Shaun Bailey’s chances of winning stood at 31/1, a slight improvement from his 45/1 in January, but still well short of incumbent Mayor of London Sadiq Khan’s 1/20 best odds. Meanwhile yesterday, the Evening Standard reported that “Sadiq Khan is set for a landslide and may be elected mayor in the first round of voting.”

 

From The Hornets Nest and THINK could be onto something with their mobile phone shop analogy: The Tory twerp might do better to now learn the art of silence rather than staggering on with an ‘It’s Good To Talk’ approach. Actually, in fact, the only place Shaun Bailey is likely be hired now is behind the counter at a BT outlet.

 

Pictured top: Shaun Bailey beaming about “educating others” does seem ironic given he could do with a bit of educating himself (left); the cover of his faux-magazine-that-is-actually-a-blatant-election-leaflet (right).

 

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey 2021 – Shaun Bailey slammed again – Wannabe Mayor of London Shaun Bailey’s deceptive ‘London Life’ called out for exactly what it is by ‘This Is North Kensington’ – “An election leaflet disguised as a magazine” (featuring ‘Poundland muckspreader’ Karren Brady).
Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – The front-page promotion for Conservative House of Lords plant The Right Honourable The Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge in the City of Westminster CBE’s “interview” – if one could call it such – in ‘London Life’ resembles a calling card left by a hooker in a phone box in Soho. Karren Brady will definitely go down in history herself as more ‘Page 3’ than ‘Pages 4 – 5’ also.
Bombed Out Bungling Bailey 2021 – Shaun Bailey slammed again – Wannabe Mayor of London Shaun Bailey’s deceptive ‘London Life’ called out for exactly what it is by ‘This Is North Kensington’ – “An election leaflet disguised as a magazine” (featuring ‘Poundland muckspreader’ Karren Brady).
Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – Shaun Bailey’s posed picture with David Walliams for their November 2020 ‘GQ’ interview made him appear more like an ageing extra in a boyband than a man destined to be mayor of one of the world’s greatest cities.

David Walliams making a wazzock of Shaun Bailey

In November last year, the plainly infatuated with telly box personalities Shaun Bailey was interviewed for GQ by David Walliams. Aside from posing with the comedian, the desperado wannabe Tory Mayor of London made a prat of himself with the following answers:

 

On his political ambitions…

DW: Do you want to be prime minister?

SB: I’d never say never.

 

On Margaret Thatcher…

DW: What did you think of Margaret Thatcher when you were a teenager?

SB: I didn’t.

DW: Did you know who she was?

SB: I was busy trying to make ends meet.

 

On Theresa May…

DW: Didn’t Theresa May cut the numbers of police when she was home secretary?

SB: You may have noticed I’m not Theresa May.

 

On political awareness…

DW: When were you first aware of politics as a child?

SB: My earliest memories of politics are Spitting Image.

 

Proving he cannot add to three…

DW: So, what are the two other issues you are campaigning on?

SB: Housing. Housing. Housing.

DW: Crime, housing, what’s the third?

SB: Transport and environment.

DW: That’s two.

SB: They are one and the same.

 

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey 2021 – Shaun Bailey slammed again – Wannabe Mayor of London Shaun Bailey’s deceptive ‘London Life’ called out for exactly what it is by ‘This Is North Kensington’ – “An election leaflet disguised as a magazine” (featuring ‘Poundland muckspreader’ Karren Brady).
Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – In ‘London Life,’ Bailey gave both a 9-question interview and another with the “overpainted Aunt Sally” Karren Brady. The chances of anyone other than this “businesswoman” and self-declared “star” stating: “Shaun Bailey – you’re hired!” do, however, seem increasingly bleak.
Bombed Out Bailey – On 16th March, independent candidate and all-round oddity Brian Rose uploaded a video to YouTube mocking Shaun Bailey’s faltering campaign. Whilst Rose plainly is off his merry rocker also, he is correct to suggest that Bailey is headed only to political obscurity.
Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – For the lovely late Bob Hoskins, it was definitely a case of ‘It’s good to talk.’ For Shaun Bailey, he’d do better to realise ‘It’s better to shut up.’
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Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

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