Nikolay Kalinin mocks Brexiteer and founder of Wetherspoons Tim Martin for now wanting EU migrant workers; he relabels the champagne, social media and dog hater ‘Dim Martin’
In comments circulated widely, the businessman asked Boris Johnson to establish a more “reasonably liberal immigration system” that would see the introduction of a visa scheme for EU workers, as pubs and restaurants struggle to find sufficient workers post-pandemic.
Speaking to the Telegraph, the pub chain boss stated that such a proposal would be beneficial for the UK because of its “low birth rate” and attempted to justify his proposal by saying: “America, Australia and Singapore have benefitted for many decades from this approach. Immigration combined with democracy works.”
Over the past year, Wetherspoons has seen its number of workers drop by 6,000 to 38,000, meaning that those workers must have taken Martin’s advice of April of last year and gone to work at Tesco’s instead.
Unsurprisingly, this complete lunatic’s comments sparked outrage on social media for their blatant hypocrisy, with then Mirror’s Kevin Maguire calling him a “prat” for “demanding more migration from Europe under a “reasonably liberal” system after he whipped up anti-EU prejudice, fuelling myths and banning European booze.”
Meanwhile, the official account of Have I Got News For You tweeted: “Tim Martin calls for more EU migration to staff bars, after Brexit causes 90% downturn in irony and self-awareness.”
What we are seeing here is Brexit reality dawning over the very people who once supported it. It turns out that we are not living in a paradise and we have not taken back control of our borders, as evidenced by how ‘Priti “Awful’ Patel’s plans to catch illegal migrants have been rejected by the French.
Tim Martin was interviewed by Owen Jones in January 2019. “Which of them is more loathsome?” is the question that most would ask of this awful pair of pillocks.In January last year, Wetherspoons draconianly limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each. In response, Rupert Murray pointed out in ‘The Telegraph’ yesterday: “Here’s a new business idea for you: hanging around in Wetherspoons loos selling moonshine to thirsty parents. Thirsty parents who have already downed their allotted two pints. They’ve probably smashed their glasses over a nearby skull and trashed the joint. Mothers and fathers are, after all, Begbie from ‘Trainspotting’ in sheep’s clothing. This is the only possible explanation for why Wetherspoons has banned anyone looking after children from being served anything more than a brace of beverages.”Tim Martin is the personification of a stupid, hypocrite argues Nikolay Kalinin. Pictured here with Boris Johnson, ‘The Steeple Times’ has previously condemned him for banning dogs both inside and outside his pubs, for his ban on social media in his premises and for banning champagne and other European booze also. He is nothing but an utter nutter!
On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?
Wetherspoons pub chain owner Tim Martin is a bore, a braggart and an on-off Boris Johnson groupie. This deservedly disliked dimwit is known for ranting in support of Brexit and not allowing European alcohol brands to be served in his venues and in January 2020, the draconian drip even “limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each.” This laughable lunatic even once went as far as to put a stop to champagne on the basis of where it has to be made.
Prior to these decidedly deranged decisions, 66-year-old Martin banned dogs both inside and outside his pubs (on the basis that his workers “are sick of picking up poop”) and then added social media usage to his list of things prohibited across all premises. Here is a man whom claimed to dislike the rules of the EU, but here also is one obsessed with creating ridiculous rules of his own.
Yesterday, when British pubs were finally allowed to reopen after the easing of the third lockdown and patrons flocked to bars to get pissed, the public took rightful revenge on Tim Martin.
Featured in an article by a trainee reporter for Cornwall Live named Edward Church, the Truro branch of the painfully picky chain, a dirty looking dump named Try Dowr, “wasn’t met with a stampede” on reopening and nor did it get “much of a fanfare.”
“By 7.30am, no one had shown up,” commented Church, before adding: “A few passersby seemed tempted… [But] none of them stuck around in chilly, windy Lemon Square for their chance of a cheap pint, and they wandered off to Pannier Market and elsewhere on the square… Time passed, however, and no queue materialised.”
Diddums to Tim Martin and perhaps a warning also: Nobody likes a killjoy and frankly nobody wanted to return to his funless dumps when freedom allowed. Perhaps it’s time for ‘Dim Tim’ to relax his ridiculous rules and turn his pubs back into places people might actually enjoy. Next!
A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – The Try Dowr branch of Wetherspoons is not exactly Britain’s most beautiful boozer, but one would have thought it would have had at least a few loyal customers willing to return to celebrate reopening. Plainly, the impact of tiresome Tim Martin’s ridiculous rules proved to the contrary on ‘Unlockdown Day 2021.’
A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – In July 2020, just before lockdown restrictions were for the first time relaxed, the @SteepleTimes Twitter account shared this clip of “a male and a female are seen staggering up and falling down a staircase whilst, frankly, p***ed out of their skulls” and accompanied it with the caption: “Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow.” It went viral and was liked by nearly 500 people and shared by nearly 200 also.A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ got somewhat worked up about the ‘Cornwall Live’ story. Some strangely actually supported Tim Martin, but the majority expressed sentiments such as: “That’s Wetherspoons for you, the locals are good judges. Actually a piece of half decent journalism from ‘Cornwall Live’ for once.”A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Another ‘APLIN’ member, Gerard Montgomery, concluded: “It would be nice to think this is people supporting local pubs and remembering how poorly ‘Spoons treated their staff,” whilst one Ian McGowan concluded: “I am waiting for ‘Hull Live’ to run a story of the first post lockdown punch-up in one of the local ‘Spoons. We should not have long to wait.”
Barrister Rebecca Sabben-Clare’s attempt to muzzle the media by citing the Cliff Richard case rather than muzzling her snarling dog shows her to be an utter disgrace
Those close to the seemingly supposedly “exceptionally bright” yet plainly actually just irresponsible barrister Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC ludicrously claimed Toby, her “snarling” terrier-cross, to be “sweet” and a “friendly pet” in the wake of it savagely causing the death of a “defenceless” seal nicknamed ‘Freddie Mercury.’
Just like giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe, who attempted to justify being gifted the “opportunity” to mercilessly slay an innocent giraffe by her husband for Valentine’s Day, wealthy and “fearless” Sabben-Clare opted to try to silence those outraged in the wake of the incident rather than taking responsibility for what the beast she owns had done.
A selfish self-preservationist rather than a seal conservationist, Sabben-Clare – who lives in a £6 million ‘mansion’ near the scene of her dastardly dog’s sick savagery – didn’t stick around for long to help at the scene of the mauling and later pompously declared: “I left for my own safety and that of my dog… There was nothing that I could do.”
Meanwhile, immediately concerned for her own reputation, Sabben-Clare “instructed lawyers Schillings to bully the media into not naming her.” Of this anything but selfless course of action, Guido Fawkes remarked: “She cited the Cliff Richard case to invoke a supposed right-to-privacy in an attempt to keep her name out of the story.”
Going further, Guido Fawkes continued:
“Rebecca Sabben-Clare set legal dogs Schillings on the press yesterday afternoon to try and cover-up her name, when that didn’t work after the Mail Online named her, Rebecca Sabben-Clare switched tactics and cooperated with a soft-soap PR puff piece telling the Standard:”
“I am heartbroken by this terrible accident. As an animal lover, I fully understand the dismay that has been expressed. I apologise unreservedly for what happened. In hindsight I wish, of course, that the dog had been on a lead but at the time that did not seem necessary.”
“Yet another example of the rich and powerful trying it on with lawyers to muzzle the press. Shame Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC didn’t muzzle her dog. Didn’t work and Schillings have lost again…”
Continuing further of this rotten ratbag, Roll On Friday yesterday reported that Sabben-Clare’s chambers, 7 King’s Bench Walk, had issued a statement about the totally avoidable yet utterly sick incident involving a dangerous dog that should now be put down. Their unnamed spokesman attempted to distance themselves and remarked:
“7 King’s Bench Walk is deeply saddened by the death of a seal by the side of the Thames following an incident involving a self-employed member of Chambers. This was a tragic accident which unfortunately resulted in the death of a lovely wild animal… Please be aware that Rebecca took her own advice in relation to this matter.”
One clear point arises out of this debacle that need never have happened: If Rebecca Sabben-Clare had kept her dog on a lead and controlled it in an area where there were supposedly notices about the seal’s presence, this incident would not have occurred. She should now face the consequences and her dog ought, at the very, be least taken away from her before it harms another animal or a child even.
To join the 44,400 people who’ve already supported our Change.org petition seeking to get the giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe banned from Facebook, please click here.
Responding on Twitter, editor of ‘The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples remarked: “Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC, whose dog savaged an innocent seal because she let it run wild, should hand herself in at her nearest police station and she should hand her bloody dog in also. Shame on her for thinking she can PR her way out of this. The woman is a disgrace.”Furthering her PR campaign, one of Rebecca Sabben-Clare’s neighbours later arrogantly blubbed: “He has no history of this and is super sweet with our dogs. I don’t know the breed. But she (Rebecca) is a nice person. It could happen to anyone.” The injuries to the now tragically deceased seal, Freddie Mercury, prove quite to the contrary.
Internationally infamous Handforth parish council member Brendan Murphy faces jail for calling his neighbours “perverted” and a “tart” and a “peeping Tom”
By February this year, the council’s meeting were being “dogged by rows again,” but now further scandal has emerged after one of its members, Councillor Brendan Murphy, was convicted of harassing his neighbours over a 13-year period.
Whilst the bickering councillors of Handforth provided light amusement for millions at the height of December’s lockdown, 79-year-old Councillor Murphy it seems is headed to jail for labelling his elderly neighbours “perverts” and “The Tart” and “The Peeping Tom.”
“Maverick” Murphy, currently a member of the Real Independent Group and the “first Macc Tory to ever be sacked” in December 2001 according to the Macclesfield Express, was found guilty of two charges of harassment at Stockport Magistrates’ Court last Friday.
Featured in the Daily Mail earlier this week, Murphy stood accused of “hounding” his neighbours Christopher and Margaret Boyd “with barbed comments after they fell out over a dispute about local gossip… and alleging he was underpaying his council tax.”
With police called on over 19 separate occasions, Murphy – whom unsuccessfully (unsurprisingly) stood for Parliament for the Conservative Party in the Vale of Clywd in 2001 – Mr Murphy told the court:
“I call Mr Boyd a ‘Peeping Tom’ and his wife a ‘Tart’ for a good reason and I think my legal response is justifiable.”
“I saw a CCTV camera on the wall filming me and I jokingly said, ‘I see you are a peeping Tom.’ I also said: ‘Mind you don’t fall off that roof, I cannot give you the kiss of life,’ but that was a joke too.”
“On one of the occasions, I was out with my dog. Mr and Mrs Boyd were walking down the road hand in hand swinging their arms looked very happy.”
“I said: ‘I’m glad to see you are so happy’ but instead of crossing the road she lurched into me and the dog whimpered in pain and that is when I called her a tart.”
“I think they are making a big deal out of this. I do not do it every day. I am an elected active councillor and I do a lot of community work.”
“There have been instances where I did say in response to them and they would stare, laugh, and sneer.”
“Mr Boyd is a very active DIY man with improving the garden, etc. His garage is his workshop, and he makes a loud noise that I do not want to hear.”
“People use the word ‘tart’ in lots of different ways and I will continue calling them a Peeping Tom and a tart as long as the cameras are still there.”
“I say these words 100 times when I see the cameras and it just gets it off my chest. There are nastier things I could say.”
Responding after being convicted, Murphy of 6 Hilton Road, Disley, Cheshire, SK12 2JU “confirmed that he intends to remain as a Cheshire East councillor” and boldly declared: “An immediate appeal will be launched, I am confident the conviction will be overturned.”
Previously, in April 2012, Brendan Murphy was found guilty of harassing Mr and Mrs Boyd. At that time he was fined £300 for harassment, ordered to pay £1,500 in court costs and given a restraining order prohibiting “him from speaking to or making gestures at the Boyds,” according to Macclesfield Live.
Murphy, the kind of person even “snitchin’” Priti Patel wouldn’t welcome to her street, will be sentenced on 26th April. He remains on unconditional bail until then, but will go down in history with the likes of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Zipporah Lisle-Mainwaring as an ultimate neighbour from hell.
A Perverted Parish 2021 – The row between Brendan Murphy and his neighbours Christopher and Margaret Boyd escalated after they installed a fence in 2007 as part of an attempt to stop him harassing them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB3P_0GAi0I
A Perverted Parish 2021 – Councillor Brendan Murphy, a man prone to calling his neighbours “perverts” on hundreds of occasions, was one of the councillors involved in December 2020’s infamous Handforth parish council Zoom debacle.
Extending to 3,632 square foot in total and on a plot of just under an acre, 221 Poplar Street is marketed by agents Carousel Realty as “gorgeous” and built in 1910. It was last sold in 2008 for just £42,900 ($60,000) and this time comes with “all furniture and antique furniture.”
Very much having the appearance of a ‘bargain basement budget’ version of “frankly my dear” Rhett Butler’s mansion in the 1939 movie adaptation of Margaret Mitchell’s 1936 novel, 221 Poplar Street’s wrap-around-porch has most definitely got ‘Marmite-like’ qualities. Of it, on Facebook, one commentator remarked: “It looks like a house in a cage” whilst another concluded: “I just love it.”
Situated in the Lake County area, where the militant ‘Night Riders of Reelfoot Lake’ tobacco farmers took on the monopolistic American Tobacco Company in the early 1900s and where between 1877 and 1950 thirteen black people were tragically lynched, the population makeup of the locality according to the 2000 census was 67% white and 31% black or African American.
Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – ‘Gone with the Wind’ was written by Margaret Mitchell in 1936. The fictional plantation house it centred upon, ‘Tara’, was of the antebellum style and in the novel was not nearly as palatial as the one depicted in the 1939 movie of the same name.
The Public’s Take…
“Is this the house from Dallas?”
“Looks like a mortuary.”
“Looks like a houseboat.”
“Looks like the Flying Nun!”
“Looks like a house in a cage.”
“Looks like Amazon just delivered it.”
“Reminds me of a ‘Tara’ recreation, circa 1960s-1970s.”
“Is there an actual house in there somewhere or is it just a porch?”
“What’s with the flat roof? You could land a helicopter on that thing.”
“That veranda is a bit much.”
“Does it come with the dog statue?”
“Can they still advertise antebellum [in the new ‘woke’ age]?”
“Poor photography. This is what happens when a realtor uses their phone for photos.”
The Numbers – 221 Poplar Street, Ridgely, Lake County, Tennessee, TN 38080, United States of America
March 2021 – For sale for £128,700 ($179,900, €150,100 or درهم660,700) or the equivalent of £36 per square foot ($50, €42 or درهم184 per square foot). Offered by realtor Karen Paschall of Carousel Realty of Dyer County at a sum 200% more than the December 2008 sale price.
December 2008 – Sold for £42,900 ($60,000, €50,000 or درهم220,400) or the equivalent of £12 per square foot ($17, €14 or درهم62 per square foot).
Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – The entrance hall to the property is somewhat plain. It could be a dentist’s waiting room area, in fact, though the faux bulldog adds a comedy touch.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – This “formal living room” has the look of more like something from the 1980s BBC comedy series ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ than the elegance of ‘Gone with the Wind.’ The crappy coffee table, doily pelmeting and fake flower arrangements mixed with an oversized telly box are anything but classy.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – The dining room is somewhat plainer in its styling.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – A mural on the wall is surprisingly classy. It’s not quite de Gournay, but it’s certainly far from objectionable. The chandelier, on the other hand, most certainly belongs in a skip.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – Another entertaining area complete with yet more fake shrubbery.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – The kitchen is basic but functional.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – One of four bedrooms. This one’s curtains, cushions and accompaniments have been carefully coordinated.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – Another is a little more ‘Holiday Inn on an expense account-esque.’Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – A more flattering view of the building from the side. If only they’d watered the lawn.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – From the side, the setting looks somewhat neglected.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – There is a three car garage.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – In addition, the 0.96 acre plot features an outbuilding also.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – Two adjoining plots of land come as part of the property and the selling agents declare: “All furniture and antique furniture stays with the property.”
Described as “architecturally unsurpassed and with a lavish interior” and an “ambassadorial style Smallbone kitchen” by selling agents Jackson-Stops, this vast English attempt at a ‘McMansion’ is quite frankly one of the most ludicrously laughable houses we’ve ever featured.
Standing on a plot of just under 11 acres where a probably perfectly charming yet subsequently bastardised residence was constructed in 1864, the ‘hall’ itself extends to about 20,000 square foot. It includes 5 reception rooms, a cinema room, a games room, a music room, an orangery and 8 en-suite bedrooms.
In addition, there is a ‘leisure suite’ with an indoor swimming pool and gym, a staff flat, a 3-bedroom lodge, a 620 square foot ‘entertaining pavilion,’ garaging for 28 cars, a helicopter hangar, kenneling and stabling.
Plainly desperate to offload this gargantuan white elephant, Jackson-Stops declare: “Our clients are looking to downsize and would consider part exchange with either another residential property or commercial property, or possibly another asset class (for instance, prestige and collectible cars, art, etc.).”
An English McMansion Monstrosity – Amateur golf champion, BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year 1980 and tax fraudster Duncan Evans owned Deansgreen Hall from 2002 to 2003.The entrance hall to Deansgreen Hall harks back to the past and currently features coats of armour and a model of an old sailing ship.The dining room of the McMansion is equally “historic” in its inspiration, yet the white gloss paint scheme simply just doesn’t work.Plainly aimed at a sale to a footballer, the cinema room – complete with its naff sparkling light ceiling and purple panels – could have been designed by the “prosecco gagging” disaster that is Dawn Ward.
The Names & Numbers – Deansgreen Hall, Crouchley Lane, Lymm, Cheshire, WA13 0TL, United Kingdom
March 2021 – For sale for £6 million ($8.4 million, €7 million or درهم8 million) with Jackson-Stops. Listed first with the firm circa December 2019.
June 2018 – A former policeman named Roderick Bond, whose current correspondence address for his active company Ravenstone UK Ltd., was jailed for 2 years and 8 months as a result of his involvement in a “Formula 1 film tax scam” in June 2018.
2006 – Purchased by the current owner and “remodeled and presented in its current condition.”
2002 – Sold to BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year 1980 Duncan Evans for £1.2 million ($1.7 million, €1.4 million or درهم2 million) having reverted to private ownership in the 1990s.
1970s – Used as “commercial offices” by Fairclough Homes.
1864 – Original house built on the site. What remains of that, God only knows.
In November 2020, we featured what we termed “the world’s worst McMansion,” a £1.65 million horror in New Jersey. In Deansgreen Hall, we’ve definitely found something that could actually come a very close second.The insipid white theme continues in this vaulted sitting room of the English McMansion.A spokesperson for selling agents Jackson-Stops remarked of the McMansion’s kitchen: “The centre of the house has an ambassadorial-sized Smallbone fitted kitchen/breakfast room with large central island (with seating for 10) with sofas at one end.” Any serious chef would respond: “What a bloody impractical layout.” The McMansion’s indoor swimming pool, surprisingly, seems relatively tame in its decorative styling.A games room in “regal red.”It’s back to the medieval mixed up with nautical heritage theme on the McMansion’s landing – complete with a chess board that looks like it came from Dungeons & Dragons.The ‘master bedroom’ has an especially ghastly fireplace surround and it’s got some shagpile carpets that Jimmy Savile would have loved to have rolled around on.The nautical touch continues in this bathroom area where also included is a tub where Prince Andrew might feel at home.The rear elevation of the McMansion is frankly nothing but a hotchpotch and a design disaster. How many styles did the architect wish to combine?A set of flags stands patriotically at the front of the building along with a very necessary pair of dragon statues.Looking outwards, there’s a hint of classicism to enjoy.The garage block and ‘lodge house’ of the McMansion resemble something found on a Barratt housing estate.Yet more patriotism on display at England’s naffest McMansion. Nigel Farage and Ann Widdecombe would go potty. There are two lakes that are supposedly “stuffed” with carp. Watch out, Eddie Grundy of BBC Radio 4’s ‘The Archers’ will be round to do a bit of poaching.The entrance gates to the McMansion complete with a set of cobbles that wouldn’t look out of place on ITV1’s ‘Coronation Street.’
Alleged shoplifter and ‘modern day Dorian Gray’ Richard Madeley attempts to convince ‘Mirror’ readers that his relationship with alleged old soak ‘mummy’ Judy Finnigan is “normal”
In a feature titled “Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan’s heartbreaks – affair, baby loss and health battles” by ‘showbiz features writer’ Frances Kindon, no mention was made of Madeley’s possible penchant for helping himself in supermarkets, but instead the focus was on how the couple first met.
Of an epic encounter that led to “the most solid union in showbiz,” Kindon gloriously remarked: “Their paths first crossed in a newsroom back in 1982 when Judy, 72, was asked to mentor a younger Richard, 64, and greeted him with the words, ‘Hello… I’m your Mummy’” before then adding that their own daughter finds “the amount of time they spend together is not normal.”
Elsewhere in the puff piece, Kindon reveled in ‘Dick and Dude’s’ “natural chemistry” and celebrated their “whole lot of red-hot chemistry” and positions as “the nation’s favourites.” She referenced “hurtful rumours” about them and then even allowed “sexual oversharer” Madeley to give a riposte. In it, he remarked:
“We’d gone away for a week to Cornwall with our children, and the mobile went in the car.”
“It was our bosses at Granada saying a terrible rumour was being put around that you’re in a self-help institution for men who batter their wives because you’ve beaten Judy, that Judy’s in a drying-out clinic and that the children are in care. We were in the f**king car.”
“We tracked it to the source… A particularly poisonous person. He’d leaked these smears and they were never published because we would have cleaned up in a libel case. But the one thing that lingered like a piece of floating sewage is this thing that Judy drinks. And she doesn’t.”
“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”
Of women
“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”
On elephants
“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”
To a man crying after paramedics saved his life
“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”
Of old women skipping
“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”
Of wanting to be black
“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”
To Keira Knightley
“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”
Of an autistic teenager
“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”
To a caller
“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”
Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Judy Finnigan is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended footballer turned convicted rapist by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person.” Of his victim, she hypocritically then added: “She had far too much to drink.”
Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.
Currently facing charges after being arrested for disgustingly covertly recording himself having sex with Love Island’s Georgia Harrison, this “small-fry star” and “clear wrong-un” (whose “official calendar” was nearly as unpopular as Sir Cliff Richard’s) was pictured breaking quarantine rules after claiming “rules don’t apply to me” in an article by Stephanie Soteriou.
Prone to wearing garments that feature nasty notes such as: “Bitch better have my money,” brain dead Bear – a maskless man plainly “prepared for warmer climates as he donned a pair of sunglasses” as he paid for petrol at a Morrisons – tediously told the paper: “I am God… I have super human powers and I am part of the Illuminati.”
Bear, unsurprisingly, is a moron and he’s got previous. In March 2018, burger brand Rustlers issued a statement describing why they’d chosen to end their ‘relationship’ with him. It read:
“Last month we chose to cancel a campaign featuring Stephen Bear after several unsuitable images of Stephen feeding tigers at a temple in Thailand appeared on social media last month. He has been paid appropriately under the terms of our cancelled agreement with him, and no other payment is due.”
“You are a f**king disgrace and I hope you are never, ever, EVER allowed another animal in your company. You did not deserve a dog, you were using him as a prop for Instagram from the moment you got him… And you think having his name tattooed on your neck makes you owner of the year?”
Wastrel wazzock Stephen Bear’s ‘finest’ quotes:
On why he shouldn’t have to pay attention to lockdown rules:
“I am God. Rules do not apply to me. I have super human powers and I am part of the Illuminati.”
“Everyone else should stay at home and not go M&S and buy some food. They should sit at home and starve.”
About those he “claimed” owed him money:
“Yeah, so this one’s called the Monday rant. I’m owed a lot of money from three different people. First one is Rustlers, where’s my £3,000 you owe me? It’s been five months.”
“Second one, Good For Nothing, you owe me 16 grand, my contract isn’t finished until April, you owe me £16,000. Where is it?”
“And the third one is for you Charlotte, listen, reply back to the emails. I haven’t received 1p from the business which I started with my money. Okay?”
“Tell your dad to reply to the f**king emails, do you understand? Make sure he gets back to him because what’s going on at the minute is b******s and it’s embarrassing.
“Do you understand? Because I’ve had enough now. That’s the Monday rant over, I want all my f**king money from all three of you, do you understand?”
“I’m here to find someone new… Are all your minges shaved? I’m just saying, clean nails, clean minges.”
On being arrested for “on suspicion of disclosing private sexual photographs or films without consent with intent to cause distress, harassment, and obstructing a police officer”:
“Where do I f**king start? I’m back from Dubai and I’ve actually got a criminal case of my head.”
“While I was in the police cell they have gone into my house, smashed open the door. I’ve had to get everything fixed – they’ve busted my front gate too.”
“Obstructing a police officer. What do you reckon I did? Do you reckon I got in his way? I think voyeurism because I’ve been to Dubai and I’ve gone on a voyage.”
Moron of the Moment 2021 – Stephen Bear – This vacuous and vain prat should be sent to social media Siberia. In fact, Siberia is probably too good for this drip.Moron of the Moment 2021 – Stephen Bear – Here is someone plainly desperate for attention. Any kind of attention will, in fact, do. Next!
At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead, celebrate #DryGinuary
“Dry January will be Wetter Than Ever!” screamed a WSJ Magazine headline on 30th December and today we join those echoing Iris Apfel and Robert Venturi in stating: “More is More and Less is a Bore.” We suggest our readers that so choose should ignore the hype of ‘Dry January’ and at a time when many are locked up and lonely, respond by suggesting that everybody just enjoys themselves and drinks whatever they bloody well wish (in moderation).
“I don’t associate guilt with pleasure,” artist and How to Survive the End of the World podcast hostess Autumn Brown told the article’s author Annie Werner and once again today we remind readers of the legendary French chef Alain Ducasse’s words this time last year:
“I like swimming against the tide. I’ve noted [the Dry January] trend, but I don’t want to see or hear of it, I am opposed to it. [I want to] rid consumers of their inhibitions [with regard to wine drinking].”
Going further and speaking of the dangers of signing up to a month without booze, consultant in liver medicine at the University Hospital Southampton NHS Foundation Trust Dr Mark Wright told Metro:
“Giving up alcohol for dry January as some sort of detox is like maxing out your credit cards all year and thinking you can solve your financial problems by living like a hermit for a month… It just isn’t going to make things better if you then go back to your usual habits in February. It’s not a fix-all solution.”
Faced with Boris Johnson’s lunacy lockdown in 2021 – where you can buy a leather collar for a dog in pet store (“essential” and open) but not a leather belt for a human in a clothes store (“non-essential” and closed) – we say that Brits that wish should follow the French and say ‘NON!’ to the patronising and pointless campaign that is ‘Dry January’ for once and for all.
Instead, today, we join all those celebrating #DryGinuary this month and raise a glass and an almighty cheers to y’all.
Three gins we recommend this #DryGinuary:
No. 3 London Dry Gin
The only gin in the world crafted by someone with a PhD in gin and owned by the world’s finest wine merchants, Berry Bros & Rudd.
This “authentic [44% ABV] coastal spirit” has notes of samphire and bog myrtle. Hints of salt shine through. It’s a catch and once reeled in, it’ll become a keeper.
As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster
This morning, the Mirror featured pictures of the disgraced deviant and all-round filth bag Rolf Harris out walking wearing soiled clothing.
Previously snapped clearly breaching the terms of his release pestering children in a playground in February 2019, the now 90-year-old nuisance nonce was seen “hobbling along a walking stick” with his dog according to the paper’s Sara-Aisha Kent. He was charmingly described as having a “screwed up face” and “cut a scruffy figure in clothes covered in marks and stains.”
Harris, it must be remembered, is a monster who has showed no remorse for what he did to his victims – whom called out his actions as having “destroyed their childhood innocence” and left them feeling “grubby, dirty and disgusting.” In 2015, this awful Australian penned a sordid ‘song’ in which he described them as “slimy little woodworms.” Sickly titled Gutter Girls, it went as follows:
Climb up out of the woodwork babe
From forty years ago,
The climate’s great in Britain now
For making loads of dough
You’ve festered down there long enough,
Time’s right to grab your chance
Clap eyes on a rich celebrity
And make the bastard dance
Chorus
Make him squirm, slimy little woodworm
Make him squirm, squirm, squirm
Sink your claws right in to the hilt, don’t let him go
(Group) NO! NO!
Make him burn, burn, burn
Slimy little woodworm, make him burn
Get your fifty-years-old hooks into his dough
(Group) GO BABY GO
That old bandwagon you crawled out of
(rotten to the core)
Conceals a host of foul accusers,
Twenty maybe more
My guess is they’ll slide after you
All following your stench,
Perhaps you believe you’re pretty still
Some perfumed sultry wench
Chorus
“Make him squirm”,
I can hear you singing
“Make him squirm, squirm, squirm:
Just imagine all of the money waiting there
(Group) OH YEAH!
Make him burn, burn, burn
Come and join the feeding frenzy girls,
Don’t miss out, come on and join me for your share
(Group) PUT IT THERE!
Elsewhere, a Change.org petition attempting to clear Harris’ name astoundingly remains online in spite of all avenues for such having been exhausted. On it, his loopy daughter – whom bizarrely goes by the name ‘Ava Reeves’ (in spite of previously calling herself Bindi Nicholls) – declares: “He has been tarred by the propaganda out there. He has been swept up in a witch hunt because of his high profile and celebrity! A total travesty at his age.”
Frankly, the best thing for this deluded duo is the funny farm. It’s time for some straitjackets to be sent to Fishery Road, Bray.
Rotten Rolf’s Riverfront Lair – Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP; in August 2017 the ‘Daily Mail’ reported that neighbours were “selling up their homes disgust after [the paedophile Rolf Harris] returned from prison.”Rotten Rolf’s Dirty Dinners – Prior to his conviction Harris and his weird looking wife used to enjoy consuming curries at Malik’s Tandorri House in Cookham. Whether he’s returned recently with “dear friend” Amanda Plattell, for example, is unknown, but if he did, he’d likely find his local Member of Parliament Theresa – now Lady – May at an adjoining table.In February 2020, Twitter users reacted angrily to a forcible deportation flight bound for Jamaica by arguing that it was wrong that the convicted paedophile Rolf Harris was not put on such a flight back to Australia after his release from prison in May 2017. Here, we picture the monster with his equally off-the-scale weird chum Sir Cliff Richard.Rolf Harris was quite deservedly described as a “Jekyll and Hyde character” at his trial in 2014. Here, he is pictured with his wife Alwen Hughes, daughter Bindi Nicholls and another relative.As with many of their type, paedophile Rolf Harris was friendly with fellow monsters including Sir Jimmy Savile. Here they are seen “sharing a joke” and “grinning creepily at each other” as the Australian ‘artist’ painted the abuser of even corpses.
