No Room To Swing A Cat – £250k For Overpriced 109 Square Foot Knightsbridge Flat

Tiny, overpriced studio ‘flatlet’ lacking room to even swing a cat in somewhat ‘shady’ building opposite Harrods in Knightsbridge unsurprisingly remains on sale for the not so tiny sum of £250,000 after 3 years on the market reports Matthew Steeples

• Prison cell-like 109 square foot ‘flatlet’ in Brompton Road, Knightsbridge for sale for staggering £250,000; national minimum allowable size for a flat since 2011 is 398 square foot.
• Brompton Road is one of London’s most polluted roads; the Brompton Oratory, one of the highway’s main landmarks, was used as a ‘dead letter drop box’ by Soviet spies during the Cold War.
• Nearby now defunct Brompton Road London Underground station became the control centre for the 26^th(London) Anti-Aircraft Brigade during the Second World War.
• Ritzy department store Harrods, directly opposite, stands on a 5 acre site and was sold to the Qatar Investment Authority for £1.5 billion by alleged abuser of 200 women Mohamed Al-Fayed in 2010.

Listed initially at £275,000 in December 2022 but now slashed to a still stupendous £250,000 after failing to get flogged, Grow Portfolio estate agents are hawking a minute and clearly overpriced 109 square foot studio flat in Brompton Road, Knightsbridge as a “fantastic base” and “excellent opportunity”. If the ask price were to be achieved, the vendor would earn themselves a very punchy return of £2,294 per square foot; the median average price for this part of London, SW3 has been a significantly lower £1,610 per square foot during 2025.

Offered on a lease of approximately 169 years and having a service charge of “approximately’ £1,000 per annum to include the assistance of a 24-hour concierge, a buyer will garner themselves a single room measuring 6 feet by 11’9” feet with a small adjoining shower room also. The 70 square foot room itself has tiled flooring, a window, a cupboard housing a microwave and cooking hob and a minute fold-down table also. There’s frankly nowt much else to say about it further than in November, the Evening Standard lauded its décor for being a “clinical white” achromatic scheme.

Designed to “resemble an ocean liner” by architect George Valentine Myer (1883 – 1959) between 1934 and 1935, the building in which the studio flat is to be found, Princes Court at 88 Brompton Road, SW3 1ES, was originally named Knight’s Court. This large steel-framed block of 94 flats with 9 retail premises on the ground and first floors directly opposite Harrods began life as “a popular and exclusive place to live”, but in recent years has become more commonly used for Airbnbs and by ‘ladies (and gents) of a certain profession of the night’.

Of the apartment complex, a past resident complained to The Steeple Times: “I did not live there long as I could not even open the windows in the summer due to the pollution and traffic noise from supercars revving in the summer on the Brompton Road. The ‘bedroom banging activity’ from my clearly-a-hooker neighbour did not help me sleep at night either.”

No-longer-so-ritzy Princes Court previously hit the headlines in 2012 when an 84 square foot studio flat went on sale for £89,950, in 2021 when a 128 square foot offering sold for £325,000 and in 2022 when an 88 square foot studio – in spite of lacking even a lavatory and without any kind kitchen – was auctioned with a guide price of £175,000. A two bedroomed flat extending to 877 square feet on the ninth floor of the building is currently being touted by Harrods Estates at a guide price of £1.3 million.

Given the spoof website supporting the homeless charity Shelter that is the National Institute of Feline Orbital Studies (NIFOS) calculates that 78.54 square foot is required to swing an ‘average’ cat and that it would cost £158,180 to “buy enough space to swing a cat in SW3”, the 109 square foot flat offered by Grow Portfolio has not only not enough room to swing a cat, but would not even adhere to the government’s technical housing standards if it were a new build property. The minimum today required to meet regulations is 398 square foot, meaning that this poxy pad falls 72% short of that sum; these regulations do not apply to buildings constructed prior to 2011.

Fair warning to whoever purchases this ‘flatlet’ suitable only for someone seriously slim: In February 1988, an actual broom cupboard measuring 5’6” feet by 11 feet “with not even a cooker” in Princes Court sold for £36,500 (the equivalent of £102,500 today) during what Pete May termed an “obscene property boom” in his 2012 book Rent Boy. The self-professed “punk-turned-journalist who spent 20 years falling off the property ladder’ added: “Even I wouldn’t live in that. Yet it was recommended as a purchase for ‘those who like eating out’.”

Within months of the cupboard sale, the economy tanked and studio flats, given their limited appeal, were the very first properties to see their values plummet. In 2025, with Rachel Reeves ‘Queen of Thieves’ having her grubby mitts on the nation’s tiller, this is probably not the time to be shelling out £250,000 for what the “honest estate agent” and Brothel in Pimlico author Roy Brooks would have likely marketed as a ‘broom cupboard in a brothel building in Knightsbridge’. At this time, perhaps, ‘buyer best beware’ would better be borrowed.

Curious facts about Brompton Road

• The area of ‘Brompton’ dates to the 15^th century and originates from the name ‘Brokendon’ – meaning “a place near a brook”.
• The road itself starts at Knightsbridge Underground station and ends at the crossroad intersection known as ‘Brompton Cross’ where Fulham Road begins. It is thought to have ‘officially’ first been designated as ‘Brompton Road’ in 1863 on land originally owned by the Moreaus, a wealthy French Huguenot family.
• Brompton Road is one of London’s most polluted highways due to heavy traffic, especially from diesel vehicles. In 2013, the London Assembly claimed pedestrians were being “showered in dangerous airborne particles” on this road identified as having NO2 levels massively exceeding World Health Organization guidelines.
• Between 1906 and 1934, passengers on the Piccadilly London Underground line were able to alight at Brompton Road tube station. It was closed due to being surprisingly little used, but served as the command centre of the 26^th (London) Anti-Aircraft Brigade during the Second World War. During this period, the tunnels, subways and lift-shafts were adapted to provide bomb-proof accommodation and in 2014, the site was sold to Dmytro Firtash, a billionaire Ukrainian businessman for £53 million. His plans to convert the 28,000 square foot site into residential accommodation have still not come to fruition.
• The best-known retail landmark on Brompton Road is Harrods department store. It stands on a site that covers an astounding 5 acres in total and includes 1.1 million square feet of retailing space.
• Famous customers of the store, which first opened in its present form in 1894, have included Agatha Christie, Beatrix Potter, Oscar Wilde and Asma al-Assad, the wife of the former President of Syria. She used an alias to shop there in order to get around European Union sanctions that froze the assets of her and her husband.
• In 1898, Harrods debuted Britain’s first ‘moving staircase’ (or what we now term an ‘escalator’). At the top, “nervous” customers were offered brandy to revive them from the “ordeal” of their ride, The Drapers’ Record reported at the time.
• Harrods was bombed by the IRA in 1983 and 1993. The first attack killed 6 people and the second injured 4.
• The store was bought by the now late alleged serial sex offender Mohamed Al-Fayed in 1985. The ‘Phony Pharaoh’, as the Egyptian was nicknamed, is said to have abused at least 200 women on the premises during his ownership. He sold the business to the Qatar Investment Authority for an astounding £1.5 billion in 2010 and died in 2023 without ever having been brought to justice.
• In 2022, Apple opened a store on the road in what was once the Brompton Arcade. It is staffed by over 200 employees, or as the tech giant prefers to call them – team members.
• Another major landmark, and a building like Harrods complete with a dome, is the Church of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. This Catholic parish church is better known as the Brompton Oratory and also referenced as the London Oratory.
• Consecrated in 1884, the church was where ‘Master of Suspense’ Sir Alfred Hitchcock married Alma Reville in 1933 and it is said to have inspired Nick Cave to write the song Brompton Oratory in 1997.
• During the Cold War, this ornately decorated church was used as a ‘dead letter drop’ (or ‘DLD’ to those in the know) by Soviet agents in Britain. Spies would visit the church and place documents and microfilm behind one of the pillars for later collection by their compatriots; the location suited given the building’s proximity to the Russian embassy and as Harrods was a suitable rabbit warren for losing a tail if they thought they were being followed.
• Standing behind the Brompton Oratory and accessed from Brompton Road is Holy Trinity Church, Brompton. ‘HTB Brompton’, as it is now generally referenced, stands on a site of 3.5 acres and is now one of the primary sites for the teaching of the Alpha course programme that focuses on “the evangelization of the nations, the revitalization of the church and the transformation of society.’

Further photographs of the £250,000 Princes Court flatlet