Classic clangers from the last week
Killing a festival
“I can’t believe the cheek” stated a student just back from a music festival: “Donna tried to kill herself in a Portaloo. What on earth’s wrong with her? Talk about effin’ inconsiderate. Sam Smith hadn’t even come on yet”.
This event is no longer booking and now forms part of The Steeple Times archive.
This event is no longer booking and now forms part of The Steeple Times archive.
Stinking wallpaper
“I was with Stinky Martin last night” declared a scaffolder in a café in SE1. “He wanted me to do his wallpapering at his ex-wife’s flat. I agreed though I’d never done it before”. His colleague answered: “What happened?” The first casually replied: “She is too gluey for me and she’s got BO. Before I’d got the first roll on, she tried it on. I got out after I’d distracted her by telling her to go and fetch the Lynx”.
Religiously happy
“I’m always willing to try something new” a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of The Latter-day Saints was overheard to say to his badged friend, Elder Zhao, on a bus on Kensington High Street. A fellow passenger turned and mockingly responded: “Have you thought about becoming gay?” The other Elder answered: “I’m perfectly happy, thank you”.
Pensioning off Williams
A pensioner in a pub in Sussex was overheard to lament the loss of her Labrador. She told the publican: “She was taken too soon. Everyone is going on about Robin Williams but they never knew him. I loved Bertha yet I’m the only one going on about her. She’s the one who should have a star in Hollywood”.
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