Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Mansions

Bungling Berk Boris To Bed Down At Brightwell Manor – A £4 Million “Forever Home” For Mr & Mrs Boris Johnson

Bungling berk Boris Johnson is supposedly upsizing and has allegedly bought the £4 million Brightwell Manor in Oxfordshire; the lavish lush that is the former Carrie Symonds will need a big budget if she is to clad the colossal 10,508 square foot crib in £840 per roll Lulu Lytle wallpaper.

Bungling Boris Beds Down With The Bamfords

As bungling berk Boris Johnson lives it up for free in a £20 million Knightsbridge mansion courtesy of Lord and Lady Bamford, a neighbour demands that he and his wife are told to “disembark.”

A Curious ‘Cotswold Castle’ In ‘Motor City’

Bizarre Detroit house built of ‘Cotswold stone’ marketed for sale as a “19th century United Kingdom castle;” its price is 48% lower than when last sold in 2021 and its interior is beyond curious.

Moving On (Or Not Moving On)… Piers Court Hammers Down At £3.2 Million (But Will Troublesome Tenants Actually Leave)

As Evelyn Waugh’s former home sells at auction for £3.16 million against asking price of £2.5 million, we ask: “Will the new owners be able to get the £250 per year pesky tenants to do some moving on and vacate this Georgian gem?”

Cut Price Cairness House – 58% Slashed Off Price Of “Scotland’s most important Greek Revival house”

“Internationally important” Greek Revival Cairness House has its price slashed from £3 million to just £1.25 million in spite of it having been given a renovation that supposedly cost over £1 million.

Taking The Fifth – Dubious Glenn And Eva Dubin And A 16% Down-In-Price Duplex

Duplex in ritzy Upper East Side co-op where Jeffrey Epstein besties Glenn and Eva Dubin live slashed in price; who’d want them as neighbours given their links to the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell are about to be unsealed?

A Maxwell Mess In Manchester – Ghislaine Maxwell’s Bad Taste

WORLD EXCLUSIVE – We reveal pictures never seen before inside Ghislaine Maxwell’s £5.4 million Manchester-by-the-Sea hideaway that show her and her errant hubby’s appallingly bad taste in the decorating department and share an image of the convicted sex trafficker’s super-sized “party shower” where goodness knows what went on.

Punting The Paedo Islands

Croaked Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘paedo islands’ go up for sale for ‘just’ £95 million in spite of supposedly being worth £182 million; we ask: “Who on earth would want to live in a place where such hellish abuse occurred?”

Oyston For Rent

Controversial ex-owner of Blackpool Football Club Owen Oyston – associate of paedophiles Max Clifford and Stuart Hall and also ‘Coronation Street’ actor ‘Cock Roache’ Bill Roache – puts his gaudy gold-clad Lancashire mansion up for rent for the astonishing sum of £40,000 per month.

Five of the Worst – Undesirable Homes Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five undesirable homes currently for sale that many would say would remain best avoided; they’ve all been in the news and they’re all connected to infamous names.