Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Bargains

Maxwell House Open – Chance To Tour £4.7 Million Former Crib Of Ghislaine Maxwell

As £668,000 is sliced off the price of Ghislaine Maxwell and Scott Borgerson’s former home (and an ‘open house’ is arranged at ‘Maxwell House’), here is a perfect outing for those that want to take a gander at such features as their sick ‘party shower’ this May.

Bungling Berk Boris To Bed Down At Brightwell Manor – A £4 Million “Forever Home” For Mr & Mrs Boris Johnson

Bungling berk Boris Johnson is supposedly upsizing and has allegedly bought the £4 million Brightwell Manor in Oxfordshire; the lavish lush that is the former Carrie Symonds will need a big budget if she is to clad the colossal 10,508 square foot crib in £840 per roll Lulu Lytle wallpaper.

A Curious ‘Cotswold Castle’ In ‘Motor City’

Bizarre Detroit house built of ‘Cotswold stone’ marketed for sale as a “19th century United Kingdom castle;” its price is 48% lower than when last sold in 2021 and its interior is beyond curious.

Moving On (Or Not Moving On)… Piers Court Hammers Down At £3.2 Million (But Will Troublesome Tenants Actually Leave)

As Evelyn Waugh’s former home sells at auction for £3.16 million against asking price of £2.5 million, we ask: “Will the new owners be able to get the £250 per year pesky tenants to do some moving on and vacate this Georgian gem?”

Brideshead Unvisited – Former Home Of Evelyn Waugh For Sale; No Viewings Allowed

Georgian mansion in Gloucestershire once home to ‘Brideshead Revisited’ author Evelyn Waugh to be sold at auction for knockdown price of £2.5 million; no viewings are allowed, the current ‘tenant’ pays just £250 per annum rent and was taken to court in January for owing £1.2 million to the Mandarin Oriental.

Cut Price Cairness House – 58% Slashed Off Price Of “Scotland’s most important Greek Revival house”

“Internationally important” Greek Revival Cairness House has its price slashed from £3 million to just £1.25 million in spite of it having been given a renovation that supposedly cost over £1 million.

Five of the Worst 2022 – Murder Houses Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five houses currently for sale that previously were decked out with “police line do not cross” tape after murders occurred there.

A £65 Million ‘Bargain’ Boat – Seized Oligarch Gin Palace For Auction

As government of Gibraltar auctions a seized £65 million oligarch superyacht with interiors by Jeffrey Epstein’s favourite designer to ‘bargain seekers,’ Matthew Steeples asks: “Why haven’t other seized ‘questionable assets’ been sold off already?”

Monckton Murder House For Sale – ‘666 Devil Child’ Killing

Chelsea townhouse where financier John Monckton was tragically murdered by “666 Devil’s Child” Damien Hanson in 2004 for sale for sum 18% lower than it was offered for in 2013; it is situated opposite a church where a bomb in 1940 killed 19 people.

From £50 to £15,000

Chinese vase found in 2-up, 2-down house in Nottinghamshire sells for sum 29,900% higher than its estimate much to surprise of owner who was told by auction house to expect just £50 for it.

Five Of The Best 2022 – The ‘Withnail & I’ Sale

As items from the fictional home of Uncle Monty in ‘Withnail & I’ go to auction, we choose five of the best offered starting at just £100 and share also a selection of quotes from this wonderful black comedy and offer up the ingredients to play the film’s infamous accompanying drinking game.

Marvellous (Or Not So Marvellous) Marle Hall

Georgian mansion Marle Hall on 3.6 acres in Wales goes on sale for just £400,000 or £24 per square foot in spite of having 16,608 square foot of accommodation and “impressive views.”

Do Duck, Don’t Crap – Primitive Private Island On Sale

Just as former BBC Radio 4 ‘Desert Islands Discs’ host Kirsty Young buys her own island, another on the coast of Maine goes on sale for just £250,000; Ducks Ledges Island comes with a tiny cottage (but lacks a proper Thomas Crapper).

Creepy Compton Bassett

White elephant country house in Wiltshire belonging to Robbie Williams back on the market for knockdown price after he describes it as “creepy.”

A Megayacht Bargain

What will be the world’s 28th largest ‘megayacht’ to be offered for sale for the surprisingly low bargain basement sum of ‘just’ £18.3 million and at no reserve; why doesn’t Boris Johnson buy it for Britain?

Five of the Worst – Undesirable Homes Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five undesirable homes currently for sale that many would say would remain best avoided; they’ve all been in the news and they’re all connected to infamous names.