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THE SPORTING LIFE

From playing the field to buying a team The game changers in the worlds of polo, horse racing, sailing and other sports

Lustful Lizzie Replaces Gruesome Ghislaine

With paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell still missing, knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy steps into the breach in the forthcoming Cash & Rocket rally

Last year, prior to disappearing in the wake of the death of her personal cash point, the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, the shameless disgrace that is Ghislaine Maxwell joined the likes of Chloe Green, Paris Hilton, Caroline Stanbury for the Cash & Rocket London to Monte Carlo ‘charity’ car race.

 

Now, with ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ tawdry daughter in hiding at an unknown location, it seems unlikely that she’ll be partaking in the all-women event that this year runs from Barcelona to Florence from the 4th to the 7th June. Instead, in the most recent edition of the Mail on Sunday, it was revealed that one of the replacements for the alleged madam will be the “jilted friend of the former Meghan Markle” and lover of “noisy secret sex” with rugby player Danny Cipriani, Lizzie Cundy.

 

Pictured struggling to plug in an electric charger to an adapted Mercedes-Benz Pagoda in plainly staged images, publicity desperado and renowned “knicker flasher” Cundy – whom also claims to have links to Epstein’s non-sweating pal Prince Andrew via her “pal,” Sarah, Duchess of York – “[didn’t] do casual when it comes to style” according to the paper. An image, captioned, “Lizzie avoided flashing her underwear as she carefully climbed out of the vehicle,” followed and another showed this ex-WAG “[sporting] a glamorous bouncy blow.”

 

Sadly, Cundy’s best pal Anthea Turner won’t be “swinging into action” to join her on the road. Instead, someone called Joy Desmond will take her place and thus there’ll be no Cadbury’s Flakes in the glovebox. Now there’s a missed photo opportunity.

 

Some quotes from MailOnline readers about Cundy’s (latest) publicity stunt:

 

“Wow, not staged at all.”

 

“Shouldn’t all over 70s be self-isolating?”

 

“Looks like that Jenner bloke.”

 

“She should be careful she doesn’t get attacked wearing a dress that looks like a toilet roll holder.”

 

“I never used to like this woman, but she’s grown on me likes a wart or a boil.”

 

“All she needs is a red bulb above her head. Tragic.”

 

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Comments

8 comments on “Lustful Lizzie Replaces Gruesome Ghislaine”

  1. Mutton dressed as mutton!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She should indeed be self-isolating at her age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not send this Sheila Down Under —— we’ve got enough cougars on our shores already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And do NOT send us that grab grab grab woman Meghan either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Canada is welcome to that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Psycho woman. She will do anything for a headline. The one from when she was at the old La Brasserie was just the worst ever.

  3. Yes where is Maxwell? both her and Randy Andy are probably thinking this virus is a god send. We can justifiably self isolate without causing any attention to ourselves. Obviously i would love to fly to the U.S. and front up to FBI HQ and answer all their questions, but everything is grounded. Anyway not to worry mummy is going to address the nation, and we’ll all be saved. Just like in ww2 when the Germans were about to invade England, and we didn’t have the Royal yacht Brittania ready to set sale to the USA. Royals, complete wast of space and money.

  4. Lizzie needs help adjusting to the fact that she was once married to a D-list footballer. He had an ounce of fame and she milked it. Meghan Markle barely knew her and even the potless pest Sarah, Duchess of York would deny being close. Sectioning might be sensible for Lizzie though she would actually drive those in charge of minding her mad also.

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