“Tulisa” Contostavlos (also known as Tula Paulinea Contostavlos)

This British pop singer started out with her equally bizarrely named cousin, Dappy, in a hip hop group named N-Dubz. They’ve since fallen out very publicly on Twitter and now she sings lines such as: “Forgive us for what we’ve done, Cause we young, we young, we young.” Frankly, no forgiveness is necessary: Tulisa, please stop “living on the edge of life,” making sex tapes of your “intimate moments” and instead just silence yourself.