David Bishop (AKA ‘Lord Biro’ and ‘Bus-pass Elvis’)

Described by the BBC as “a serial fringe candidate,” Broxtowe, Nottingham born ‘Lord Biro’ attended the late paedophile Jimmy Savile’s funeral dressed as Elvis. He threw a 99p bunch of flowers into his grave as “a mark of respect.”

 

A divorced painter and decorator, wacky David Bishop adopted his first moniker (‘Lord Byro’) in honour of Lord Byron and later replaced the ‘y’ with an ‘I’ to stand against everyone from Eric Pickles to Neil Hamilton and Robert Kilroy-Silk.

 

An artist and poet also, Bishop primarily campaigns as the ‘Church of the Militant Elvis Party’ and has a website named GrumpyOldElvis.co.uk. His wacky policies have included:

 

– Imprisoning Cherie Blair to prevent her talking about her sex life.

– Placing CCTV in the bedroom of Nick Clegg.

– Bono for Pope.

– Going to Antarctica to shout at icebergs to “stop melting.”

– Turning public schools into pound shops.

– Introducing moats around houses.

– Legalising and nationalising cannabis and calling it British Grass.

– Free neutering for cats and Boris Johnson.

 

7 COMMENTS

  1. God, the kind of eccentric Englishman who makes you proud to be British. Not dangerous enough to be sectioned, so we can all enjoy his wacky thoughts. He’s nailed it with Cherie Blair and Nick Clegg.

  2. Not sure where they dig these loonies up from. I like the thought of him on an iceberg in Antarctica, and then the chopper won’t start to bring him back. I reckon his shouting would last about 15 minutes before hypothermia set in.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Will Ghislaine Maxwell Motor On?

As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021.

Runners & Riders – The Oaks and The Derby 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp double at Epsom on ‘Super Saturday’; we suggest enjoying The Oaks and The Derby 2020 at home.

Hooping A Half Price Mansion

Vast Edwardian mansion with basketball court in the roof in Watseka, Illinois for sale at half price it listed for in 2016; it’s on for just £20 per square foot.

Wally of the Week – Disgraceful Dimwit Darren Grimes

As manipulated millennial Darren Grimes gets himself into yet another racism storm with the help of his beloved bigot Dr David Starkey, one has to ask: “Who is this cretin’s puppet master?”

Bow Wine Vaults Back

Acclaimed restaurateur Philip Lawless to reopen Square Mile institution and haunt of city financiers the Bow Wine Vaults on Monday.

Remembering Jeffrey Epstein Albuquerque Style

Statue of late billionaire sex beast Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously appears outside City Hall in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and is promptly removed by officials).

E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.

The Pargetter Triptych

Matthew Steeples urges fans of ‘The Archers’ to forget the BBC’s revised coronavirus version; until normality returns, give ‘The Pargetter Triptych’ a...

A Demon Rolls-Royce

Rolls-Royce owned by “maverick” Demon Internet dot-com millionaire Cliff Stanford to be auctioned; his au pair was tragically murdered in Spain; he was convicted of “email spying” in a scandal featuring gerrymanderer Dame Shirley Porter.

Hero of the Hour – Lenin Gutierrez

After standing up to a woman named Amber Lynn Gilles who berated him whilst doing his job, Starbucks barista Lenin Gutierrez is going to use the unexpected donation ‘tips’ he received to help others.

Elton John Needs an Olive Branch

As Sir Elton John is slammed for his treatment of his ex-wife, we suggest he ought to offer an olive branch as appeasement to get her off her ‘Crocodile Rock.’

Buckle Up! Barking Baker Harber Has Bitten Back

Victoria Baker Harber has sent Kenny Schachter a “cease and desist” letter in the wake of her on-off conman lover Inigo Philbrick being snared by the FBI.

BLM Doesn’t Matter to Bernie Ecclestone

As “cranky gargoyle” Bernie Ecclestone disgracefully tells CNN that “black people are often more racist than white people,” we join those demanding he apologise for such reprehensible and utterly senseless remarks.

Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks

Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.

Monster of the Moment – Priscilla Magana

Bear butchering barbarian bitch and slutty sportswear seller Priscilla Magana should be banned from social media; this Trump supporting monster instead belongs in the nuthouse.

Hapless Hancock gets a Right Royal Brenda-ering

Restaurant critic Tom Parker-Bowles does a ‘Brenda from Bristol’ in suggesting Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s telly box appearances “drive him mad” whilst chatting to William Sitwell on his Instagram TV show ‘Biting Talk’

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
17.6 ° C
18.9 °
16.7 °
82 %
6.7kmh
90 %
Sun
21 °
Mon
21 °
Tue
22 °
Wed
20 °
Thu
16 °