Picture of the week: Downing Street’s “shocker” parodied

David Cameron and Nick Clegg as Titanic stars and an analysis of the “sensational love affair” shocking Westminster

 

The talk of Westminster and Twitter is the Mail on Sunday’s story about the identity of a mystery pair who have been involved in a “sensational love affair” that has “potentially significant political implications” for David Cameron and his government.

 

The paper states that it “cannot disclose the identities of the people involved or any details of the relationship – or even how long it lasted” because of legal restrictions but here are the key details that they have chosen to share:

 

– The pair are “middle aged figures”.

– The affair has “now concluded”.

– “It does not involve anyone serving in the Cabinet” (which therefore does not rule out individuals have previously served in the Cabinet).

– The situation has been “labelled ‘dynamite’ and a ‘complete mess’ by senior party sources”.

– The affair has caused “great personal distress to innocent parties”.

– When told, the Prime Minister was said to be “stunned” and “immediately realised the importance of the story”.

 

One of many parodies of the "Mail on Sunday's" "Downing Street shocker" story
One of many parodies of the “Mail on Sunday’s” “Downing Street shocker” story

The most outrageous and “dynamite” level suggestion that we’ve seen so far about this affair has been published on the Cryptome.org website. If what they suggest were indeed to be true, it certainly would be a “shocker” of a revelation and there certainly would be legal reasons that would prevent this coming out.

 

We suspect, though, that it’s more likely that this story involves other individuals and equally the Liberal Democrats deputy head of media, Phil Reilly, sought to play the story down in a Twitter posting:

 

“Was promised Currie/Major level of surprise and something that would impact gov [sic] agenda. That’s a v [sic] high bar. This doesn’t meet it”.

 

In response, however, Conservative blogger and LBC radio presenter Iain Dale suggested: “Then you haven’t thought it through…” whilst another named One Dart added that it was a “very significant pair involved” in this scandal. Peter Jukes of The Daily Beast, in an article titled “Sex Scandal Engulfs 10 Downing St. As Feral Press Bites Back”, perhaps best analysed the situation:

 

“In the light of forthcoming trials and royal charter legislation, the timing of the new media-fuelled rumours appears highly suspicious. Not only do they destabilize Cameron at a difficult time when he’s low in the polls, and his right flank is threatened by Tory rebels and the rise of Nigel Farage’s UK Independence party, but legally questionable revelations could undermine forthcoming court cases by publishing material which has not yet been called in evidence, and lead to trials being abandoned for technical reasons”.

 

“It looks like a high-stakes game of chess is being played at the highest levels of media and politics, but mainly behind the scenes. Once again, the British press looks less like it’s holding politicians to account, and more like it’s holding them hostage”.

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere on Twitter, suggestions galore have been made. The majority of tweets consisted of ideas as bonkers as those that normally come from people who believe Lord Lucan and Shergar are still alive. One suggested that David Cameron check the hair of his children to see if it there is any hint of the blonde locks the Mayor of London is famous for and others have joked about the coalition “love affair” between Mr Cameron and Nick Clegg.

 

The best we’ve seen was an image of the Prime Minister and his deputy on a mocked up poster for the film Titanic. In it, they replace actors Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett as “Leonardo DiCameron” and “Kate Clegg” and the film’s title is changed to “Tit&Nic”. This clever parody was just too good not to be shared and though it sadly doesn’t reveal the identities of whoever is really involved in this scandal, we suspect the names will soon out.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here.

  1. Victor Victoria was a highly enjoyable transgender comedy with Julie Andrews and Robert Preston.
    Robert Preston as a gay blade who hooks up with Julie Andrews. During a restaurant scene Julie Andrews character plants a cockroach in her plate to avoid paying for her dinner. Cameron and Clegg will be more suitable for a remake of this comedy epic. It will be a hell of romp, as Clegg is Liberal.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

A Grand Greek Revival

Grand Greek Revival mini-mansion in Illinois goes on sale for just £35 per square foot in spite of having been mostly renovated; it is situated within an area colonised by utopian Swedish Janssonists.

Speak Up Now Randy Andy

As a new witness comes forward, it is time for the Duke of York to finally be truly honest; if ‘Randy Andy’ is genuinely innocent, it would be his best move.

Locking Up Boris

Petronella Wyatt takes to Twitter to suggest Boris Johnson “locks himself down” given he is “57 years old, and obese.”

A Tory Whip Shocker!

Matthew Steeples finds himself in shock and agreeing with Jess Phillips MP after she calls out Tory hypocrisy over their failure to withdraw the whip from an unnamed MP arrested for alleged sex crimes.

Hero of the Hour – Tobias Weller (AKA ‘Captain Tobias’)

Nine-year-old Tobias Weller has raised £145,000 for good causes by walking two marathons in spite of having cerebral palsy and autism.

MeGain Must Stop

This morning’s revelations from Thomas Markle Jnr. are proof that the Duchess of Sussex must put a stop the almighty mess she created with her family.

Titles for the Boys and Girls – Elevation of Sir Philip May

Giving a knighthood to Philip May for “political services” is absolutely preposterous given his firm’s dubious connections; instead Count Binface would have been a better recipient.

What a Charlie!

As Charlie Elphicke is convicted of three counts of sexual assault, one must consider Theresa May’s government’s shameful decision to allow him back into parliament suggests Matthew Steeples.

Gruesome Ghislaine

Ghislaine Maxwell’s request to “keep nude photos and sexualised videos” out of her trial is yet more proof that she is nothing but gruesome.

Stunt Slams The Silent Media

James Stunt calls out Viscount Rothermere for selectively choosing to ignore a story about the connection between Boris Johnson and Laura Kuenssberg;...

Tossed Out Tommy

News that Tommy Robinson has become a ‘refugee’ is the ultimate in irony.

MeGain’s Media Muckup

The Duchess of Sussex has well and truly failed in her attempt to manipulate both the media and the public; Prince Charles must now intervene.

Burley to Barnard Castle

Kay Burley makes a mockery of Dominic Cummings on Twitter.

Finding Attention (MeGain Style)

Most commentators have missed the point about the Duchess of Sussex suggests Matthew Steeples; she has a single thing on her agenda...

Shopping the McCann Media Mess

The latest developments in the Madeleine McCann case have been spun to a media willing to believe utterly preposterous stories suggests Matthew Steeples.

Robert Mercer’s Network of Interference

Matthew Steeples suggests it is not only Russia that Britain must fear, it is the interference of the likes of billionaires such as Robert Mercer.

Weather Now

London
few clouds
20.8 ° C
22 °
20 °
56 %
6.2kmh
18 %
Wed
20 °
Thu
27 °
Fri
33 °
Sat
33 °
Sun
31 °