Tag: United Kingdom

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle

Vast Scots Baronial mansion Carbisdale Castle – nicknamed ‘The Castle of Spite’ – goes on sale for sum 97% lower than it cost to build in the 1900s and 25% less than the sum spent on its 2010 renovation

A mega-mansion termed “the last grand castle built in Scotland” that cost £62 million to build between 1905 and 1917 has gone on sale for just £1.5 million in spite of developers having spent a small fortune on its renovation to date.

Extending to 41,433 square foot, category B-listed Carbisdale Castle in Sutherland is gargantuan in size compared to an average 818 square foot British home. Its construction began after the resolution of the then Dowager Duchess of Sutherland, Mary Caroline’s dispute with her late husband’s children from his first marriage, but ultimately the palatial pad was not completed until five years after her own demise.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – Mary Caroline, Dowager Duchess of Sutherland (1848 – 1912) and George Sutherland-Leveson-Gower, His Grace The 3rd Duke of Sutherland (1828 – 1892). According to one source, the “deviant duchess” enjoyed an astonishing income of £100,000 per year until her death and married her third husband, a politician and businessman, Sir Albert Rollit (1842 – 1922) in 1896.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – The castle was used as a youth hostel for 66 years from 1945 until 2011.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – Its vast size made it ideal for institutional usage.

Featured on these pages in August 2014 and April 2016 after it was placed for sale after being used for 70 years as a youth hostel, the allegedly haunted building was sold to a London based investment firm now known as Faro Capital after being reduced in price from £1.2 million to £900,000. At this stage, £2 million had already been spent on renovations due to extensive water damage in 2010.

In the years since, Faro Capital have cleared Carbisdale Castle of its institutional contents and put in place plans to return the structure to use as what they term a “world class single family residence.” Now, of its current condition, a surveyor recently remarked: “The building offers a superb blank canvas,” according to current selling agents Strutt & Parker.

Speaking to The Scotsman late last week, Robert McCulloch for Strutt & Parker remarked of the sale of Carbisdale Castle:

“Already there has been interest. The property is in a state of partial renovation so it lends itself to being either a private residence or a commercial venture.”

“There has been interest in it as a hotel and also those who are interested in its charitable use. With its proximity to the North Coast 500 driving route and the rise in domestic tourism, I am sure people will see a lot of opportunity in this property.”

Carbisdale Castle, however, is still not without problems. Aside from its vast size and the associated costs of maintaining such a white elephant, it comes with a mere 20 acres of land and that is split into various spread-apart parcels. Thus, for a likely oligarch or business titan buyer – who will have to be someone with very, very deep pockets – privacy and security will remain an obvious issue.

Given his alleged penchant for burning £50 notes in front of the homeless, perhaps ‘Costly Carrie’ Symonds could persuade Boris Johnson to put in a bid. There’d be plenty to keep her busy after all and acres of wall space for her chum Lulu Lytle to cover in gold and gaud.

The Names & Numbers – Carbisdale Castle, Culrain, Ardgay, Sutherland, IV24 3DP, Scotland, United Kingdom

May 2021 – Placed for sale with Strutt & Parker for £1.5 million ($2.1 million, €1.7 million or درهم7.6 million) or the equivalent of just £36.20 per square foot.

2017 onwards – Of progress since purchase by Faro Capital, Strutt & Parker remarked in 2021: “The current position is that, since 2017, significant works have been carried out to the castle pursuant with the approved consent but the works required to complete the project have been put on hold.”

“This provides the flexibility to purchasers to either complete the development of the castle as a private home, or seek to vary the Listed Building Consent to include the development of the building for commercial use or the subdivision of the building as residential apartments.”

“The intention of the project was to combine all of the decorative features and grandeur of the Dowager Duchess of Sutherland’s original creation with services, systems, fixtures, fittings and layout of the highest contemporary quality together with reorganisation of the existing accommodation to suit 21st Century living and the development of a spa and swimming pool as complementary features.”

Works to Carbisdale Castle have included the stripping down of the building, the removal of redundant items, the excavation of a proposed swimming pool and the replacement of heating systems and lighting circuits.

September 2016 – Sold to Sloane Street, London based Faro Capital Limited (formerly known as the FCFM Group), who planned to turn the building into a “world class residence.”

April 2016 – Reduced in price to just £900,000 ($1.2 million, €1 million or درهم4.6 million) or the equivalent of just £21.70 per square foot.

August 2014 – Offered for sale by Savills for £1.2 million ($1.7 million, €1.4 million or درهم6.1 million).

2010 onwards – After extensive water damage caused by frost, £2 million ($2.8 million, €2.3 million or درهم10.1 million) is spent on renovations.

1945 – 2011 – Used as a youth hostel.

1944 – Gifted to the Scottish Youth Hostel Association (SYHA) by Colonel Salvesen’s son, Captain Harold Salvesen.

22^nd June 1941 – Used as the location to host the Carbisdale Conference at which it was “agreed that that the Russian forces, should they enter Norwegian territory, would not stay there after the war.”

1933 – Sold to Norwegian shipping and whaling tycoon Colonel Theodore Salvesen and used during the Second World War as a “safe refuge” for King Haakon VII of Norway and Crown Prince Olav, later King Olav V, during the Nazi occupation of Norway.

1905 – 1917 – Carbisdale Castle is built for Mary Caroline, Dowager Duchess of Sutherland (1848 – 1912) at a supposed cost of £500,000 or the equivalent of £62 million ($86 million, €71 million or درهم315 million) following the death of her husband, George Sutherland-Leveson-Gower, His Grace The 3^rd Duke of Sutherland (1828 – 1892).

The Dowager Duchess (better known as ‘Duchess Blair’) had been jailed for 6 weeks after being found guilty of stealing documents during her divorce and when that was eventually finalised, it was agreed that a castle would be built for her just outside the Sutherland lands.

She intentionally chose – supposedly to spite them – a prominent hillside site visible from the very railway line the Sutherlands used to travel south and insisted that the clock tower of the house only had three clock faces. On the side facing Sutherland, the face is blank as “the Duchess did not wish to give the time of day to her former relatives.” As a result, Carbisdale Castle gained the nickname ‘The Castle of Spite.’

May 2, 2021
Bargaining Britain’s Northernmost Castle

Grade A listed freehold Scottish castle with cottages, barony title, gold and copper reserves and 240 acres of land goes to auction for just £130,000 just as plans for a space centre are announced in the vicinity

Our November 2018 article on an Irish castle on a private island that was for sale for just £80,000 ($111,000, €93,000 or درهم409,000) continues to attract numerous hits each week to this day and now we’ve found something equally ‘cheap’ in Scotland that we imagine will prove equally popular.

Situated on Unst, the northernmost of the inhabited isles of Great Britain, 15^th century Muness Castle is to be sold at auction on 23^rd April with a guide price of just £130,000 ($181,000, €151,000 or درهم665,000). It comes with 240 acres and thus comes in at an astonishingly low price equivalent of just £542 per acre ($755, €629 or درهم2,800 per acre).

Given farmland in Oxfordshire is currently valued at around £10,300 per acre ($14,400, €12,000 or درهم52,700 per acre), this apparent bargain does, however, come with a number of catches. The “number of crofter’s cottages” that come as part of the property are “mainly in derelict condition,” according to auctioneers Future Property Auctions of Glasgow, and the most definitely presently anything but inhabitable 73-foot by 26-foot, Grade A listed castle itself is currently “run as museum by Historic Scotland” on a “free of charge basis.”

Currently owned by one Gavin Farquhar of the Ecclesgreig Estate in Kincardineshire, the property offered was listed as having a “consideration” value of £65,000 ($91,000, €75,000 or درهم333,000) in August 2006 and aside from a number of “burdens” to various parties, includes part-diviso rights to “gold and copper reserves discovered in a recently commissioned geological survey.”

For a buyer wanting a barony title, seclusion and to own land on a “superb section of coastline” rich in flora, fauna and sea life where dolphins, otters, puffins, seals and whales are spotted regularly, here is a bargain piece of paradise. Unst covers an area of 46 square miles, has a population of 632 and is accessible primarily by ferry since its airport was mothballed in 1996.

The island of Unst is bizarrely internationally famous for a bus shelter known as ‘Bobby’s Bus Shelter.’ The stop and shelter was saved by a then 7-year-old boy named Bobby Macaulay in 1996 after he wrote to the local council asking them not to remove it because it was where he kept his bike whilst at school. The council relented and furnished it with a sofa and television and periodically give it themed additions which have included tributes to Nelson Mandela, sheep, puffins and women’s suffrage in the United Kingdom.

Another attraction on the island was the Valhalla Brewery, the northernmost brewery in the United Kingdom. Named after the Norse god Odin, Valhalla produced dark ales from malt, hops and bere barley, but after the owners fell ill, it ultimately closed permanently. In March this year, plans to reuse the brewery site for the construction of the Shetland Space Centre were announced and should they go ahead around 140 new jobs would be created on Unst as a result.

An aerial view of the castle shows how thick its walls are and thus provides evidence as to why it has lasted over 423 years in spite of the harsh climate of its situation.

The structure retains many original architectural details.

Though the building is currently simply a tourist attraction, perhaps – subject to any planning processes – it could be returned to residential usage. The cost and dealing with bureaucrats might, however, be prohibitive and request by ‘The Steeple Times’ to selling auctioneers Future Property Auctioneers about such had not been answered at time of publication.

The setting of the castle with views to the North Sea beyond and a cottage adjoining.

The original floor plan of the building (before French pirate enemies of the then owner burnt the place down in 1627). As a result, now, the castle now has only two of its original three stories remaining. The building was used from 1713 by the Dutch East India Company as a storage space for goods the Company managed to salvage from the wreck of one of their vessels, but was then recorded as roofless and abandoned in 1775.

This map shows the true isolation of the location.

The coastline of Unst is truly epically spectacular.

This 2018 video shows Muness Castle with scaffolding around it – indication that good care has been taken of what remains of the structure.

April 21, 2021
Theresa’s in the Trough
Matthew Steeples highlights that it is not just David Cameron who has been sticking his piggy fingers in the trough; Theresa May also ‘pocketed’ over £1.2 million in the last year alone

Whilst the media are busy banging on about David Cameron’s bungled attempts at lobbying for Greenshill Capital and the ensuing sleaze scandal that has followed, the majority have missed what his immediate successor has been upto since she was turfed out with the trash by her fellow Tory turncoats.

Yesterday afternoon, however, Guido Fawkes shared news of the ‘Jobs for the Boys and Jobs for the Girls’ ex Tory leader – and don’t forget it’s bins for Sir Philip May and wandering in the wheatfields for his weird wife, the new ‘Lady T’ – when they suggested that the hapless Conservative MP for Maidenhead has pocketed over £700,000 from speeches since standing down as Prime Minister.

Going further this morning, after analysing the Register of Members’ Financial Interests as of 15^th March 2021, The Steeple Times can reveal “Brexit means Brexit” Lady May’s latest declaration to be an astonishing £1,075,706 in total – and that’s before adding in her £81,932 MP’s salary and office expenses.

Of this sum for outside earnings, all but one payment is for work for foreign entities and the only payment for ‘work’ in the UK came from JP Morgan. That totalled £160,370 for “two speaking engagements that were cancelled” and this accounted for just 15% of the total ‘earned.’

Whilst we’re at it, let’s not forget ‘MayBeNot’ also managed to secure herself life membership of the Carlton Club and ‘VIP’ perks at Heathrow Airport and Amanda Wakeley and this is all before we get onto her hubby’s no doubt not-too-shabby salary from Capital Group also.

Today we politely enquire: “Why isn’t anyone in the mainstream media wagging a finger at the greedy grubber Theresa May yet or asking her: ‘How on earth do you find the time to serve your constituents?’”

Theresa’s (mostly overseas) trough since February 2020 – £1,075,706
- 19^th February 2020 – Dubai Women Establishment, UAE
  - Speech – £115,000 for 19 hours work (including travel).
- 26^th March 2020 – Structured Finance Association, USA
  - Speech – £115,000 for 25 hours work (including travel).
- 6^th March 2020 – Brown University, USA
  - Speech – £115,000 for 14 hours work (including travel).
- 6^th March 2020 – Trinity University, USA
  - Speech – £115,000 for 26 hours work (including travel).
- 22^nd April 2020 – JP Morgan Chase, UK
  - 2 speaking engagements – £160,370 for zero hours to date (will be rescheduled).
- 25^th June 2020 – World 50 Inc, USA
  - 3 speaking engagements – £101,169 for 7 hours work “to date.”
- 17^th September 2020 – Telmex Foundation, Mexico
  - Virtual speaking engagement – £46,750 for 6 hours work.
- 18^th September 2020 – World Knowledge Forum, South Korea
  - Speaking engagement – £136,000 for 30 hours work (including travel).
- 9^th November 2020 – Lancaster Chamber of Commerce & Industry, USA
  - Virtual speaking engagement – £45,500 for 6 hours work.
- 20^th January 2021 –The Richmond Forum, USA
  - Speech – £48,245 for 3 hours work.
- 20^th January 2021 – TPG Communication, France
  - Speech – £39,000 for 2 hours work.
- 4^th February 2021 – Society of the Four Arts, USA
  - Virtual speaking engagement – £38,672 for 5 hours work.
What else has Theresa been pocketing lately from her ‘Magic Money Tree’?
- An MPs salary of £81,932 plus expenses “to cover the costs of running an office, employing staff, having somewhere to live in London or their constituency, and travelling between Parliament and their constituency.”
- An £85,000 per year salary from the Office of Theresa May Limited “until further notice” for just 24 hours work per month or just 288 hours work per year.
- Honorary life membership of the Carlton Club.
- ‘VIP treatment’ at Heathrow Airport, valued at £4,200 a pop, at least 14 times totalling at least £58,800.
- Substantial rental income from a flat in London owned jointly with her husband.
- A discount card from Amanda Wakeley, “which has the potential to be of registrable value.”
Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

Theresa’s in the Trough – Theresa May may go down in history as one of the very worst Prime Ministers ever, yet she and her hedge fund tin banger husband Philip have pocketed titles and are set to receive multi-millions of pounds in future income.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc9tToN5XGk
Theresa’s in the Trough – Sir Philip May’s employer’s, Capital Group, are regularly quite rightly criticised over the legitimacy of their potentially unethical investments. Plainly and frankly, he and his wife don’t give a damn.
April 15, 2021
The MeGain & Randy Show
It’s time for the ‘MeGain & Randy Show’… As dopey dipstick Diane Abbott MP sticks her gumboots into the fallout of the Duchess of Sussex’s car crash interview, the scandalous Prince Andrew should again be called to answer questions

Bombastic blabbermouth Diane Abbott MP has been unusually quiet for months. Yes, she’s had to deal with the fallout of her beastlike son biting police officers, but since she was turfed off the front benches when her one-time motorbiking sexual partner Jeremy Corbyn fell, we’ve not even heard of any conundrums with calculators or mojito can slurping calamities on a train by her even.

This morning, however, seizing on an opportunity to shove her gibberish filled gumboots back into the fray in the wake of the Duchess of Sussex’s Prince Andrew-esque interview, Abbott decided to chuck a hand grenade into the mix and told the Guardian:

“One of the most upsetting things is when people, meaning well, will say: ‘Oh, but Diane, you’re so strong.’ Nobody is that strong. Nobody can take the sort of abuse that Meghan had to take and that I’ve had to take. And by dismissing it by saying: ‘Oh, black women are strong,’ that’s denying our humanity.”

“For a lot of black and mixed-race women, when they can look at what we’re now hearing, what’s happening to Meghan, they can realise: if this can happen to her and if it could be so crushing and humiliating to her, I can face up to how that sort of thing makes me feel.”

“We shouldn’t internalise the idea that we’re not supposed to feel vulnerable, we’re not supposed to get upset, and we should have people around us that we can confide in, or we can be open with. Otherwise, it’s incredibly corrosive.”

Going further, on Radio 4 later, Abbott added:

“[Palace officials] clearly very soon did not welcome a mixed race woman marrying into the Royal Family… There has got to be very serious reflection. They need to look at some of the people that work at Buckingham Palace.”

“I don’t think they necessarily need to get into a tit for tat publicly but they do need to think hard about some of the attitudes of the courtiers, the aides the advisers who are in Buckingham Palace because it is clear that on that level they didn’t adjust well to having a mixed-race woman marry into the Royal Family.”

“[The media want to] tear down a woman for no apparent reason.”

Whilst the brain of Britain that isn’t Miss Abbott’s influence in this matter will likely not go far, elsewhere in the Guardian this morning, the paper’s Ben Quinn reported that Gloria Allred, a lawyer for some of Jeffrey Epstein’s victims, “has suggested that Buckingham Palace’s plans to examine bullying allegations against the Duchess of Sussex are a “calculated decision” to take the focus off Prince Andrew.”

Speaking of alleged bullying by the Duchess of Sussex specifically, Allred told the paper:

“Allegations about him are far worse than the allegations about Meghan Markle. Prince Andrew was a working royal when he became a friend of Jeffrey Epstein, who was a sexual predator… Prince Andrew is accused of much more than bullying or harassment in the workplace.”

“Why does Buckingham Palace not conduct an investigation and make a public statement condemning Prince Andrew for failing to provide what is requested to those who are seeking the whole truth and justice for the victims of crimes against children?”

“Why has Prince Andrew not been stripped of the royal titles that he enjoys, as has been the case for Meghan and Harry? He has certainly not brought dignity and respect to his work as a royal.”

“The investigation into Meghan Markle is a distraction, and it appears hypocritical under the circumstances. I have to wonder if it reflects a calculated decision to take the focus off of Prince Andrew.

“It is long overdue for the palace to change its priorities and announce that it is conducting its own investigation of Prince Andrew. In addition, it should immediately issue a statement condemning Prince Andrew for failing to provide full in-person cooperation in the ongoing criminal investigation by the United States justice department.”

Now, today, we join those calling for ‘Randy Andy’ to finally do the decent thing: Be a good boy and go to America and answer the FBI’s perfectly reasonable questions about your involvement with the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell and your conveniently croaked ‘bestie’ Jeffrey Epstein.

The MeGain & Randy Show – For months now, people have been asking of Diane Abbott: “Have you seen this woman?” Well, this morning she predictably resurfaced and stuck her gumboots into the fallout of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s disastrous interview with Oprah Winfrey.

The MeGain & Randy Show – The “publicity shy” Duchess of Sussex (or Meghan Markle as she then was) used to be happy to hang around with publicity loving Lizzie Cundy. Whether she actually “ghosted” her former ‘friend’ and Piers Morgan is also debatable.

The confusion of the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle

Whilst the Duchess of Sussex’s outlandish claims have been widely drilled into this morning by the international media, here are a few other questions she and her ‘drip’ of a husband could do with addressing:
- What was the then Meghan Markle’s association with Prince Andrew prior to meeting Prince Harry? Are there any truths to allegations that she was caught cavorting with ‘Randy Andy’ on a yacht many years ago?
- Given ‘MeGain’ banged on about her friendship with Prince Andrew’s daughters prior to meeting Prince Harry in the Oprah interview, is there really any truth to her having never Googled the royal family or researched them with a view to seeking them out?
- Did the then Meghan Markle really “ghost” her supposed chums Lizzie Cundy and Piers Morgan or are they both just getting rather carried away with their own attention seeking agendas?
- Prior to marrying into the royal family and since, has ‘MeGain’ “organised pap shots” of herself?
- Why did the Duchess of Sussex lie and claim she hadn’t met her half-sister in over 20 years when photographic evidence shows quite to the contrary 13 years ago?
- Why didn’t the Duchess of Sussex simply show herself to be a bigger person and make amends with her own father instead of going to war on him? If she had simply behaved with dignity and made one less enemy, wouldn’t she have been perceived as a far better person?
- Why is the Duchess of Sussex claiming that the royal family “silenced” her at the same time as repeatedly giving interviews to the international media and taking the dime of the hardly quiet Netflix and Spotify?
- Why are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex now suggesting they were “cut of financially” by the royal family when they previously stated they “wanted to be financially independent”?
- Why do ‘MeGain’ and her drip husband think they should be entitled to have the public pay for their security when they turned their backs on public duty for first “privacy” and then personal profit?
- If ‘MeGain’ wanted such a “simple life,” why did she seek out a career first in acting and then get herself into a relationship with a member of the royal family?
- Why, subsequently, did this woman with a desire for “ordinariness” then return to Los Angeles and sign deals with the likes of Disney, Netflix and Spotify?
- Has ‘MeGain’ ever used body doubles of herself and her son, Archie?
- Did the Duchess of Sussex make up that she had already been married to Prince Harry for three days when she walked down the aisle on 19^th May 2018?
- How many times has ‘MeGain’ actually been married? Twice or three times?
The MeGain & Randy Show – The Duchess of Sussex’s claim that she hadn’t seen her half-sister Samantha Markle in 20 years has been proven to be a lie by fact of this photograph.

The MeGain & Randy Show – The Duchess of Sussex also stands accused of organising paparazzi to take photographs of her, yet hypocritically still moans and bangs on about press intrusion.

The MeGain & Randy Show – Ever since she came to public prominence, social media has been awash with rumours about the Duchess of Sussex and her use of body doubles and some go further even and remarkably suggest she faked her pregnancy even.

The MeGain & Randy Show – Elsehwere on social media, this image of graffiti that read “Prince Andew is still a nonce” trended. Contrary to what many suggest, however, it is quite possible to actually dislike the behaviour of both the Duchess of Sussex and Duke of York as the two are not mutually connected.

The MeGain & Randy Show – Those “in the know” continue to question when Meghan Markle first met Prince Andrew and what went on between them prior to her marriage to the alleged sexual abuser’s nephew.
March 9, 2021
Wally of the Week 2021 – Lady Victoria Hervey
Lady Victoria Hervey shows herself to be a contradictory cretin by selling PPE but refusing to wear a mask herself; she fails to mention her ex-lover Prince Andrew or links to Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell

In June 2020, we made Lady Victoria Hervey our ‘Moron of the Moment’ after she stupidly stated “f**k black lives matter” and yesterday this one-time chum of mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell went and slammed her non-woke wellies in the proverbial again in an interview with the Daily Mail’s Francis Hardy.

A short-lived lover of non-sweating Prince Andrew, yet rejected (she claims) as “too old” by his now croaked paedophile ‘bestie’ Jeffrey Epstein, the brainbox with more knowledge than scientists that is Lady Victoria told Hardy of COVID-19:

“It’s completely hyped! The biggest worldwide conspiracy that ever happened.”

“I’m not going to lie, I never wear [face masks]… The security guard in [a] shop called me over and told me I had to leave because I didn’t have one on. I stormed out… I believe in natural immunity… [It’s] Bill Gates’ goal to bring out this vaccine to depopulate the world.”

Going further and aside from declaring: “I’m not going to be a lab rat,” Lady Victoria – who herself ran a business selling PPE at the start of the pandemic – excused the fact that no sane man would want her by adding: “It’s really hard to have relationships in LA.”

This half-witted wench then banged on about getting herself a sperm donor, “cried” about Lady Gaga’s dogs being abducted (but made no mention of the poor dog walker who himself got shot) and sadly for Brits, announced that soon she’ll be returning to our shores.

God help us all and please now, Los Angeles – Keep ‘Lady Twit Girl,’ we’ll be forever grateful.

Pictured top: Lady Victoria Hervey with the deservedly currently incarcerated alleged sexual abuser and trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell. The charming delight that was the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson described the former as “unpleasant” and “a right snob.”

Wally of the Week – Lady Victoria Hervey pictured with the Duke of York. That even ‘Randy Andy’ ultimately decided her not to be for him speaks volumes.

Classic clangers from former ‘It Girl’ Lady Victoria Hervey
- “I am Lady Victoria Hervey – it doesn’t get more British than that.”
- “Unless it’s champagne, I can’t handle it.”
- “I’m an A-list celebrity and this is a C-list party.”
- “I do have a day job.”
- “My career always goes much better when I haven’t got a man.”
- “A baby is easy – you hand them over to a nanny!”
- “I’m kind of into star signs and I want my baby to have a sign that’s compatible with mine. It’s to plan though… We’ll just have to see… We’ll do the embryos and then I’ll figure out which month I’d like the baby to be born.”
- “I’m not stupid. I’m not a dumb model.”
- “[I aim to become] the next Kate Winslet – but with class.”
- “I have had four past lives, three of them as a man. I was a composer in 17th-century Paris, I made materials in India and in Ancient Greece I was a famous politician. In Ancient Egypt I was keeper of the oils for the Pharaoh’s wife, and I love oils so it all kind of fits.”
- “I feel I’ve aged 100 years in lockdown. I’ve had Botox, of course.”
- “What annoys me is when these families have got like 12 children and we’re paying for these kids… They work out that they make more money being on the dole than having a job, they just laze around.”
- “The real irony of this is that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”
- “Travelling is in my blood, and so is liking luxurious things and spending.”
- “I haven’t given up on men, there are a few of them around, but I keep leaving every city I meet them in.”
- “Everyone from Europe wants to buy houses in LA.”
- “I was too old for Jeffrey Epstein… [He seemed] very charming… He was a very well-liked guy.”
- “I’m not one of those kind of girls, I don’t like going to dinners with ten models invited… I was very young and impressionable, Jeffrey was a very charismatic man.”
- “I haven’t seen [Ghislaine Maxwell] since September [2018] at a friend’s baby shower… I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.”
- “I had no idea what was going on [with Jeffrey Epstein]… It’s extraordinary it’s the case, it’s a wild story.”
- “I suddenly thought, I’m just Victoria Hervey… Horrible.”
- “I don’t want to make enemies.”
Wally of the Week – Lady Victoria Hervey defended Prince Andrew on ‘Good Morning Britain’ in November 2019. At the time, she ludicrously claimed her other mate Ghislaine Maxwell would “never be seen again.” Nobody anywhere will be calling upon her psychic powers ever again on that basis.
March 7, 2021
Far From The Madding Crowd (But Well-Near The Whisky)

Detached cottage in nearly an acre of land, far from the madding crowd and 5 miles from the nearest village in Sutherland, Scotland for sale for just £95,000; it’s perfect for an isolationist whisky lover

‘Achastaile’ is said to mean ‘field of the whisky still’ and now someone looking for somewhere truly far from the madding crowd, could purchase a truly remote house of that name at the heart of the Highlands in the true wilderness that is Sutherland in Scotland.

Situated a mile up an access track described by its selling agents as “rough” and 5 miles from the small village of Rogart, the “semi-derelict” cottage offered sits on a plot of ¾ of an acre and currently includes a hall, a sitting room with cast iron fireplace, a kitchen with “basic” fittings and a stone inglenook fireplace, a “spacious” bedroom, a bathroom and an attic room.

Serviced by mains electricity in spite of its isolation, ‘Achastaile’ has a private water supply, a UV water treatment system and drainage is to a septic tank.

Described as an “ultimate hideaway” in the Sutherland Hills that offers “complete peace and tranquility,” the property “requires complete refurbishment and renovation.” Prior planning permission for such has now lapsed, but “the existing plans can be made available to prospective purchasers on request.”

Arthur & Carmichael estate agents market ‘Achastaile’ – also known more simply as ‘188 Muie’ – at a price of offers over £95,000 ($131,000, €110,000 or درهم483,000). They advise viewers that they will not “accept any liability for damage or injury caused as a result of visiting the property” and provide detailed directions for access that read:

“Take the A9 north over Dornoch Bridge and follow the road until you reach ‘The Mound’. Turn left at the sign for Rogart. Go through the village and after 2.2 miles from the last ‘30 mile’ sign at the end of the village, turn right into Blarich estate. Please close the gate.”

“Follow the driveway and bear to the right and you will see a fence line where the drive continues to a large farm building. Park at the fence line (please take care to not obstruct the lane) and walk up the hill following the track to the left for approximately 1 mile. There are 2 gates on the way up the track – please make sure that these are closed behind you.”

Far From The Madding Crowd (But Well-Near The Whisky) – Whilst ‘Achastaile’ at 188 Muie, Rogart, Sutherland, Highland, IV28 3UB might seem a bargain at just £95,000, a 41,433 square foot castle in Sutherland we featured in April 2016 could be considered even more of a steal. Carbisdale Castle was offered at a price of just £900,000 or £21.70 per square foot.

Far From The Madding Crowd (But Well-Near The Whisky) – The cottage is situated at the heart of Britain’s “last true wilderness.”

Far From The Madding Crowd (But Well-Near The Whisky) – A stone-building outbuilding without a roof currently within the grounds is described as “offering further potential.”

Far From The Madding Crowd (But Well-Near The Whisky) – The cottage is situated at the heart of Britain’s “last true wilderness.”

Far From The Madding Crowd (But Well-Near The Whisky) – The existing accommodation could be easily expanded.

The Clynelish Distillery is situated in Brora, a small industrial village on Sutherland’s east coast.

Distilleries in Sutherland

Whilst ‘Achastaile’ itself is terribly isolated, its eventual purchaser will find not only nature as solace. In nearby Ross-Shire, there are well known distilleries such as Balbair, Glenmorangie and Glen Ord and in Sutherland itself, the “water of life” flows at amongst others:

Clynelish, Brora

Originally built in 1819, the Clynelish Distillery is now owned by Diageo. Around 95% of the spirit made there is used in Johnnie Walker blends, primarily for the Gold Label Reserve.

Thompson Bros. at Dornoch Distillery, Dornoch

Founded in 2016 by Phil and Simon Thompson, this micro-distillery located in a ‘Fire House’ in the grounds of the Dornoch Castle Hotel produces “whisky styles of the 1960s” and gin also.

March 7, 2021
Houses of Horror SOLD
Houses of Horror SOLD – As New York residence of croaked paedo Jeffrey Epstein goes into contract for 192% less than was asked for it, London home of mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell supposedly nears sale for 400% more than she paid for it also

Plainly two sets of buyers in London and New York are prepared to set aside the horrors that went on in the respective residences of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein given both are now “pending sale.”

In London’s ritzy Belgravia, the late ‘Bouncing Czech’ Robert Maxwell’s daughter’s somewhat tired, red and white painted mews house opposite Kevin Moran’s Nag’s Head pub is about to exchange contracts for circa £1.45 million, her lawyers announced this week. Miss Maxwell paid £290,000 for the property in 1997.

Meanwhile, in New York’s Lenox Hill, the 28,000 square foot, 7-floor pad where Jeffrey Epstein hosted grubby gatherings with the likes of the Duke of York and Woody Allen has gone into contract for “roughly” £36 million. Mr Epstein allegedly ‘bought’ the mansion for £14.5 million from his billionaire chum Leslie Wexner in 1998, though some claim the transfer to have been somewhat more of a gift than a purchase.

Whilst some real estate brokers claimed some “clients were absolutely appalled at the idea of buying a house owned by Epstein” – with one reporting: “I had clients hang up on me, angry that I even suggested it” – another concluded: “The deal is great for New York. It’s a low number, but that could be because of Covid and not Epstein. The buyer is a savvy person who got a good deal and will resell.” Going further, another broker concluded: “They could get it blessed by a rabbi and a priest.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere on Change.org, crusading author, sex abuse survivor and advocate Kirby Sommers’ petition seeking “no bail for Ghislaine Maxwell” reached 944 signatures this morning. Help it pass 1,000 and achieve a chance of success with Judge Alison J. Nathan by clicking here.

Houses of Horror SOLD – Ghislaine Maxwell leans on a doorway on the landing of her Kinnerton Street mews house as ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York poses next to the bannister with his chubby, grubby fingers around the waist of the then Virgina Roberts (now married and known as Virginia Giuffre) on 10th March 2001.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGnUxiOADzY

The Names & Numbers – 44 Kinnerton Street (AKA ‘Mucky Madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s Bathtub Bonk Pad’), Belgravia, London, SW1X 8ES, United Kingdom
- March 2021 – Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyer offered cash from the “pending sale of her £1.45 million ($2 million, €1.68 million or درهم37 million)” home as part of a package when they sought bail for the mucky madam for a third time.
- December 2020 – Members of the Maxwell family attempted to raise finance on the property but are not successful.
- August 2019 – According to Insider, a woman with “long hair [who] appeared to be in her 60s” was seen entering the property. She “denied that the socialite owns or lived in the house, claiming instead that the elusive socialite lived elsewhere down the street.”
- 10^th March 2001 – Prince Andrew allegedly had sexual relations with 17-year-old Virginia Roberts in a bathroom in the property. He continues to deny this occurred whilst claiming that a photograph of himself with Miss Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell on the first floor of building is a fake also.
- 22^nd January 1997 – Ghislaine Maxwell paid £290,000 ($401,000, €337,000 or درهم5 million) for the three-storey leasehold mews house. It is situated at the heart of the Duke of Westminster’s Grosvenor Estate.
Houses of Horror SOLD – Top: Jeffrey Epstein pictured on the telephone in his decidedly kitsch ‘Bet Lynch-esque’ mansion on date unknown. Bottom: Prince Andrew pictured at the door of the residence waving as two young ladies and Jeffrey Epstein depart in December 2010.

The Names & Numbers – Herbert Straus House (AKA ‘Jeffrey Epstein’s Paedo Palace’), 9 East 71^st Street, Lenox Hill, New York, NY 10021, United States of America
- March 2021 – “In contract to sell for roughly £36 million ($50 million, €42 million or درهم184 million)” according to The Times, a sum 192% lower than the 2020 asking price.
- February 2021 – Price reduced to £47 million ($65 million, €55 million or درهم239 million).
- September 2020 – Placed for sale for £69 million ($88 million, €74 million or درهم351 million) through the Modlin Group as the ‘Herbert N. Strauss Mansion’ in order to attempt to disassociate it from Jeffrey Esptein.
- August 2019 – Valued in Epstein’s will at £40 million ($56 million, €47 million or درهم206 million)
- 1998 – “Sold” to Jeffrey Epstein for £14.5 million ($20 million, €16.8 million or درهم5 million), according to the New York Post, by his associate Leslie Wexner.
Houses of Horror SOLD 2021 – If it hadn’t been owned by Jeffrey Epstein, the ‘Herbert Straus House’ would not have acquired the nickname ‘Paedo Palace.’ The 40-room mansion, with interiors by Albert Pinto, would otherwise have been quite desirable and likely would have sold for a much higher sum.

Houses of Horror SOLD 2021 – Prior to sale, Jeffrey Epstein’s initials were quite sensibly removed from the main entrance.

Houses of Horror SOLD 2021 – Images of the house shared by realtors showed the best of the property. They did not include the grubby rooms – complete with spy holes – where Epstein and Maxwell were able to secretly watch sexual abuse by famous people they supposedly wished to blackmail.
March 6, 2021
An English McMansion Monstrosity
Gargantuan Cheshire ‘McMansion’ once owned by a BBC Sports Personality turned tax fraudster for sale; it’s a monstrosity and beyond gaudy

Somewhat generously described as “Cheshire’s most flamboyant home” by the Manchester Evening News in December 2019 and as a place where BBC Wales Sports Personality 1980 turned VAT fraudster Duncan Evans for a time “lived the life of a country squire,” Deansgreen Hall in Lymm, Cheshire has been on the market for £6 million since 2019.

Described as “architecturally unsurpassed and with a lavish interior” and an “ambassadorial style Smallbone kitchen” by selling agents Jackson-Stops, this vast English attempt at a ‘McMansion’ is quite frankly one of the most ludicrously laughable houses we’ve ever featured.

Standing on a plot of just under 11 acres where a probably perfectly charming yet subsequently bastardised residence was constructed in 1864, the ‘hall’ itself extends to about 20,000 square foot. It includes 5 reception rooms, a cinema room, a games room, a music room, an orangery and 8 en-suite bedrooms.

In addition, there is a ‘leisure suite’ with an indoor swimming pool and gym, a staff flat, a 3-bedroom lodge, a 620 square foot ‘entertaining pavilion,’ garaging for 28 cars, a helicopter hangar, kenneling and stabling.

Plainly desperate to offload this gargantuan white elephant, Jackson-Stops declare: “Our clients are looking to downsize and would consider part exchange with either another residential property or commercial property, or possibly another asset class (for instance, prestige and collectible cars, art, etc.).”

An English McMansion Monstrosity – Amateur golf champion, BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year 1980 and tax fraudster Duncan Evans owned Deansgreen Hall from 2002 to 2003.

The entrance hall to Deansgreen Hall harks back to the past and currently features coats of armour and a model of an old sailing ship.

The dining room of the McMansion is equally “historic” in its inspiration, yet the white gloss paint scheme simply just doesn’t work.

Plainly aimed at a sale to a footballer, the cinema room – complete with its naff sparkling light ceiling and purple panels – could have been designed by the “prosecco gagging” disaster that is Dawn Ward.

The Names & Numbers – Deansgreen Hall, Crouchley Lane, Lymm, Cheshire, WA13 0TL, United Kingdom
- March 2021 – For sale for £6 million ($8.4 million, €7 million or درهم8 million) with Jackson-Stops. Listed first with the firm circa December 2019.
- June 2018 – A former policeman named Roderick Bond, whose current correspondence address for his active company Ravenstone UK Ltd., was jailed for 2 years and 8 months as a result of his involvement in a “Formula 1 film tax scam” in June 2018.
- 2006 – Purchased by the current owner and “remodeled and presented in its current condition.”
- 2003 – Sold by Duncan Evans for £3.5 million ($4.9 million, €4.1 million or درهم18 million). “Devious and accomplished fraudster” Evans subsequently received a jail sentence of 4 years in 2009 for his part in a £21 million ($29 million, €24 million or درهم108 million) VAT fraud. He was again arrested in July 2017 after going on the run to Portugal.
- 2002 – Sold to BBC Wales Sports Personality of the Year 1980 Duncan Evans for £1.2 million ($1.7 million, €1.4 million or درهم2 million) having reverted to private ownership in the 1990s.
- 1970s – Used as “commercial offices” by Fairclough Homes.
- 1864 – Original house built on the site. What remains of that, God only knows.
In November 2020, we featured what we termed “the world’s worst McMansion,” a £1.65 million horror in New Jersey. In Deansgreen Hall, we’ve definitely found something that could actually come a very close second.

The insipid white theme continues in this vaulted sitting room of the English McMansion.

A spokesperson for selling agents Jackson-Stops remarked of the McMansion’s kitchen: “The centre of the house has an ambassadorial-sized Smallbone fitted kitchen/breakfast room with large central island (with seating for 10) with sofas at one end.” Any serious chef would respond: “What a bloody impractical layout.”

The McMansion’s indoor swimming pool, surprisingly, seems relatively tame in its decorative styling.

A games room in “regal red.”

It’s back to the medieval mixed up with nautical heritage theme on the McMansion’s landing – complete with a chess board that looks like it came from Dungeons & Dragons.

The ‘master bedroom’ has an especially ghastly fireplace surround and it’s got some shagpile carpets that Jimmy Savile would have loved to have rolled around on.

The nautical touch continues in this bathroom area where also included is a tub where Prince Andrew might feel at home.

The rear elevation of the McMansion is frankly nothing but a hotchpotch and a design disaster. How many styles did the architect wish to combine?

A set of flags stands patriotically at the front of the building along with a very necessary pair of dragon statues.

Looking outwards, there’s a hint of classicism to enjoy.

The garage block and ‘lodge house’ of the McMansion resemble something found on a Barratt housing estate.

Yet more patriotism on display at England’s naffest McMansion. Nigel Farage and Ann Widdecombe would go potty.

There are two lakes that are supposedly “stuffed” with carp. Watch out, Eddie Grundy of BBC Radio 4’s ‘The Archers’ will be round to do a bit of poaching.

The entrance gates to the McMansion complete with a set of cobbles that wouldn’t look out of place on ITV1’s ‘Coronation Street.’
March 1, 2021
A Cut Cost Chapel
Detached partly converted Victorian chapel in quaint Hampshire village goes to auction for 25% less than it sold for in 2018; it seems like a bargain, but there is, of course, a “but”…

Vernham Dean – also known as Vernhams Dean – is a quaint village in the Test Valley in Hampshire. Nine miles south of Hungerford, Berkshire, it is best known for its well thought of pub, The George, and was the place name the controversial ex-Labour minister of state for the Middle East Elizabeth Symonds added to her name when she became Baroness Synmonds PC of Vernham Dean in October 1996.

Given its sought after situation, news that a detached, freehold 562 square foot Victorian chapel is to be auctioned this week by Savills for just £75,000 initially seems surprising, but, as is often the way with “auction bargains,” comes with a number of catches.

Opened originally as a chapel in October 1845 seating 108 with standing room for 12, the current structure served as a chapel from 1869 onwards. Closed for worship now for a number of years, the building was sold at auction in 2017 for an undisclosed sum and then for £99,000 a year later.

In the years that followed subsequent owners have attempted to convert the building into first a two-bedroom and then a one-bedroom dwelling whilst various villagers repeatedly objected. It is now described as being “in need of modernisation” but complete with “extensive plans and reports… for change of use to a residential dwelling.”

Curiously, during the Black Death in 1665, the village’s then pastor is said to have fled leaving his villagers to die. His “guilt ridden ghost” reportedly still to this day haunts the Chute Causeway, a Roman road that runs from Winchester to Cirencester, but whether the Primitive Methodist Chapel is haunted also is unknown.

The double height space inside the Victorian building has been stripped bare in preparation from conversion from D1 usage to residential. It sadly retains few original features.

The original mezzanine seating area of the chapel remains in situ.

The Names & Numbers – Vernham Dean Primitive Methodist Chapel, Back Lane, Vernham Dean, Andover, Test Valley District, Hampshire, SP11 0LE, United Kingdom
- 2^nd March 2021 – To be offered for sale at auction for £75,000 ($104,000, €87,000 or درهم384,000) by Savills, a sum 32% lower than the last asking price and 25% lower than the 2018 sale price.
- 10^th February 2021 – Offered for sale at auction for £110,000+ ($153,000, €127,000 or درهم563,000) by Auction House London.
- December 2019 – New plans were submitted to convert the building according to the Andover Advertiser. They reported that the application stated: “The property is in shell condition and requires a full programme of works. It has electricity and water supplies. The property is situated in the heart of the picturesque area of Vernham Dean in Andover close to local amenities. There is pedestrian access to the left-hand side of the property but it is possible to park at the front of the chapel.”
- August 2019 – Then owner Gurdarshan Mandan told the Andover Advertiser: “We want to live there peacefully and we really don’t want to upset anyone, after all we all are neighbours and want to create a peaceful environment” after many Vernham Dean residents objected to his and his wife’s plans to first turn the building into a two-bedroom and then a one-bedroom residence.
- 11^th April 2018 – Sold for £99,000 ($138,000, €114,000 or درهم506,000) by Auction House London.
- 13^th December 2017 – “Sold after auction for an undisclosed amount” by Auction House London.
The staircase and entrance area. The building has mains water and electricity, but no sewage system is currently in place.

The mezzanine includes the only original remaining pews from the chapel.

A floor plan shows the current configuration of the detached chapel building.
February 28, 2021
Katie UKIPpers

“Gaunt” looking Katie Hopkins joins UKIP in time for its next (of many) leadership contests and is “spotted lurking” in Washington in spite of unsurprisingly being ‘NFI’d’ to Joe Biden’s inauguration

“Permanently suspended” from Twitter but astonishingly still allowed on Instagram (where she presents herself as “The Biggest Bitch in Britain”) Katie Hopkins was unsurprisingly ‘Not F**king Invited’ to Joe Biden’s inauguration. She decided to turn up to “lurk” anyway.

Subsequently, in a video rant yesterday, one-time “shagger-of-someone-else’s-husband-in-a-field” Hopkins declared that she’d run into Emily Maitlis in Washington and blabbered on about how the BBC presenter was a hypocrite for traveling there. She neglected, however, to explain why her own presence was necessary and yet again just made a total berk of her not-so-sorry self.

Continuing elsewhere, the political party that is more widely considered nothing but a train wreck that is UKIP last week tweeted that it is still “alive and kicking as Britain’s voice of common sense.” With this post, the ragbag of racists shared an image of a megaphone and Katie Hopkins and added: “We are pleased to welcome Katie Hopkins to UKIP!” Now there’s one welcome bash nobody in their right mind will have a desire to break lockdown to attend.

Some of Katie Hopkins’ most outrageous moments:

On people with dementia:

“Dementia sufferers should not be blocking beds. What is the point of life when you no longer know you are living it?”

On Ramadan:

“Ramadan typically brings a spike in violence in Middle East. I get grumpy when I don’t eat – but I don’t blow things up. Religion of peace?”

On ginger haired children:

“Ginger babies. Like a baby. Just so much harder to love.”

On ‘Highgella’ Nigella Lawson:

“A self-confessed drug-taker, spendthrift, and a self-obsessed flirt determined to show other women they were imperfect.”

On tourists stranded in Egypt after the bombing of a Russian airplane:

“I think if you are going to take your children out from school, which is ridiculous in itself, stick them in a destination that is dangerous, don’t be complaining on my television that you’ve been delayed at the airport, don’t be complaining that you don’t have any information, and don’t be coming back acting like you are a refugee from a war-torn country.”

On Jewish politician Ed Miliband’s wife:

“Pollsters say Justine [Miliband] is the least popular of the party wives. He might stick her head in the oven and turn on the gas.”

On refugees:

“Make no mistake, these migrants are like cockroaches. They might look a bit ‘Bob Geldof’s Ethiopia circa 1984,’ but they are built to survive a nuclear bomb. They are survivors.”

On obesity:

“I don’t really like fat people… Would I employ you if you were obese? No, I would not… If you are obese, you look lazy.”

On suicidal prisoners:

“They should just kill themselves.”

UKIP, currently with ex-Conservative MP Neil Hamilton as its “interim party leader,” has had 13 leaders and acting leaders since 2010. From October 2019 until April 2020, “prized pillock” Pat Mountain was in charge and she was followed by an Indian businessman “who once listed Nazi Germany as a hobby on his CV” named Freddy Vachha. He was suspended from the party in September 2020 (though “maintains he is still the leader”) and, for now, Pat Mountain is “serving” as UKIP’s “abuse and exploitation spokeswoman” in spite of most likely not have the foggiest what that quite means.

Katie UKIPpers – Last year, Hopkins was flown to Prague and given a spoof award for being the ‘C*NT of the Year.’ In accepting it, she proved that she is anything but as bright as a button and now news that she’s considering standing to become UKIP leader will be met with nothing but laughter. Of the possibility, she remarked: “People always ask me when am I going to get into politics, when am I going to do something smarter than just gob off on social media. But I do see that the time for just being on social media and just having opinions is wearing thin and is probably time for somebody like myself, who is at the pointy end of the spear most of the time, to make more of a formalised stand.”

Katie UKIPpers – On Thursday, Katie Hopkins took to Instagram to berate Emily Maitlis for being in Washington for Joe Biden’s inauguration in spite of hypocritically being there herself also. Here, in this YouTube video, ‘MoJo’ share ten examples where this rhinoceros skinned ratbag previously made a prat of herself.

January 22, 2021