Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".
The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.
February 23, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
“The Lovely Debbie McGee” hits a new low in appearing in adverts for a crappy kitchen makeover company (with captions across her cleavage) The late Caroline Aherne (AKA Mrs Merton) made an utter fool of the dimwitted bimbo Debbie McGee in 1997 when she mockingly asked: “What, first, Debbie, was it that attracted you to … Continue reading “McGee Magic”
February 12, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Luke Johnson is wrong to urge consumers to embrace alcohol free spirits whilst Luke Jones was right to urge them to love martinis Under Luke Johnson’s reign Patisserie Valerie collapsed. He claimed the experience of masterminding the destruction of a business that employed 3,000 people “shattered [his] self-belief.” Oh diddums for the poor lamb. … Continue reading “A Tale of Two Lukes”
January 21, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
That Heather Mills has returned to the public eye is nothing but awful; please could someone just send her to Siberia? When one thought the worst was over and one of Britain’s most loathed women had finally gone away, that woman just had to stick her oar in yet again. Yesterday, The Sunday … Continue reading “Harridan Heather”
November 27, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone Described as: “An engaging yarn with a strong, sometimes mischievous autobiographical element” by The Sunday Times, esteemed foreign correspondent John Simpson launched his second novel at Daunt Books in Marylebone last night. Amongst those present to celebrate … Continue reading “Moscow Nights”
August 29, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted ‘gay sex plot’ royal blackmailer who died in 2016 Increasingly, with sellers unable to offload prime properties due to Theresa May’s inability to secure any kind of Brexit deal and the ongoing effects of former Chancellor … Continue reading “Win a Knightsbridge Flat (with a Shady Past)”
August 13, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples suggests Noel Edmonds’ latest outburst just confirms himself to be a strange, publicity desperate fool Spiritualist television personality Noel Edmonds is certainly an off-the-scale oddity. He blamed the banking giant HBOS for getting cancer and then claimed he knew of an electric box that could cure the disease; he tried to “comfort” … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Noel Edmonds”
September 4, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Novelist David Cornwell (AKA John le Carré) speaks sense on the elite, Brexit and Donald Trump David Cornwell – better known as the novelist John le Carré – gave a rare interview in yesterday’s The Sunday Times. In it, he spoke candidly and revealed his beliefs that Brexit is something he “despises” and that … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – David Cornwell”
May 18, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Fat former boxer and Toad of Toad Hall-like figure of fun Fergus Wilson and his equally badly dressed Hyacinth Bucket-like wife, a former maths teacher named Judith, banned “coloured people” from renting the 1,000 properties they own in Kent “because of the curry smell at the end of the tenancy”. They were also revealed to … Continue reading “Fergus and Judith Wilson”
November 30, 2016
by Matthew Steeples
After claiming she’s lead by God over Brexit, Theresa May bizarrely gets the backing of Kate Bush On Sunday, Theresa May told The Sunday Times Magazine that her Christian faith is guiding her decisions around Brexit and also spoke of how leaving the EU keeps her awake at night. Yesterday, in Maclean’s Magazine, … Continue reading “Going by God”
April 25, 2016
by General
A cross between Donald Trump and Liberace in terms of his liking for all things gold in interiors, Ealing based Prince John Zylinski is an eccentric property tycoon with a taste for duels and ballet dancing.
April 12, 2016
by Matthew Steeples
Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
September 14, 2015
by General
Born in Hungary and raised in France, the Marchioness of Bath has been described as a “soft porn actress” as well as a war correspondent and a journalist.
August 19, 2015
by General
Yorkshire based broadcaster turned farmer and cashmere and mohair retailer Selina Scott once declared she’d “like to steal Donald Trump’s hairpiece and bury it in the sand dunes of Aberdeenshire”.
May 30, 2015
by General
The 7th Baron Mostyn was born in 1984 and was said to be worth some £50 million ($85 million) by The Sunday Times in 2014.
May 25, 2015
by General
Ethnobotanist, TV presenter and garden designer James Wong is the author of Grow Your Own Drugs.
September 9, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
As Broadway refuses to dim its lights for Joan Rivers, a list of those she banned from her funeral is revealed
July 25, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
Norah Docker’s yacht, Shemara, has found a saviour in Charles Dunstone When spendaholics Sir Bernard and Lady Docker took ownership of a 65-metre yacht, the Shemara, in the 1950s, little did they know that it would ultimately become part of their nemesis. The very same boat – after languishing for many years – has … Continue reading “From Docker to Dunstone”
July 19, 2014
by James Murphy
James Murphy examines his romantic heroes, Ian Fleming and James Bond I was privileged to attend the recent Masterpiece art and antiques fair in Chelsea. For me, the undoubted highlight was coming face to face with the letters of Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond, on Peter Harrington’s stand.
November 28, 2013
by General
A self-proclaimed “Domestic Goddess”, Lawson was rebranded a “habitual criminal” during the trial of her two former assistants in November 2013. In an email quoted during the case, her ex-husband, Charles Saatchi, nicknamed her “Higella” and alleged his wife “poisoned [her] child with drugs and trashed her life”. In response, amongst those who leapt to … Continue reading “The Hon. Nigella Lawson”
September 22, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Will of Boris Berezovksy confirms he was far from broke and again raises questions about his death by hanging When he died, many wrongly jumped to the conclusion that Boris Berezovsky was broke. With the publication of a story about his will by The Sunday Times today, it most certainly seems that this was … Continue reading “The legacy of Berezovsky”
August 18, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Former Jeremy Clarkson Jaguar XKR goes to auction Jeremy Clarkson once famously pulled what he called a “Jaguar face” in an episode of Top Gear. Looking like a cross between Joyce Grenfell and a beaver, the millionaire presenter suggested this was the look of the grille of the Surrey set’s favourite motor car.
August 1, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Papers and paywalls This morning a paywall went up on The Sun’s online portal, Sun+. This move follows those of the The Times and the Telegraph and some might suggest they are commercially justifiable. We disagree
June 16, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Robbie Williams’ Wiltshire estate for sale again for £2.6 million less than he paid for it Singer Robbie Williams paid £8,100,000 for Compton Bassett House, near Calne in Wiltshire in 2008. In the years since he’s tried to sell it several times but even now that it has been relaunched for just £5,500,000, will … Continue reading “Blighted Bassett”
March 11, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
The Steeple Times asks journalist and author Jessica Fellowes: “What’s on your mantelpiece?” The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? To learn from history – in all senses of the word – but listen to the needs of the present. “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, … Continue reading “Jessica Fellowes: “What’s on your mantelpiece?””
March 10, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
The Steeple Times asks writer, broadcaster and entertainer Neil Hamilton: “What’s on your mantelpiece?” The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force? Christine. “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours? If you say so dear.
February 4, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
This talented analyst and writer specialises in “Latin America, terrorism, oil, US foreign policy, global security, transnational criminal organisations, the Middle East and asymmetric warfare.” The British press nicknamed Neumann the “Cracker from Caracas” when news of a relationship with Mick Jagger surfaced and the epithet has stuck. Combining intellectual might with glamour, this jetsetter … Continue reading “Dr. Vanessa Neumann”
January 22, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples leaves a tribute to Michael Winner As I’ve said before, Michael Winner (30th October 1935 – 21st January 2013) was like Marmite. He was loved and loathed in equal measure. Restaurants put up signs announcing “This restaurant is a Michael Winner free zone” after banning him for the most obnoxious and sometimes … Continue reading “A man who didn’t mince his words”
December 9, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Michael Winner retires as a restaurant critic Restaurateurs throughout the land are sighing with relief: Michael Winner has hung up his hat and retired as a restaurant critic. Love or loathe him, Winner’s column for The Sunday Times has entertained and provoked the nation for some 20 years. In this time, he … Continue reading “The Marmite of Michael”
December 4, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Undoubtedly best known as one of the greatest actresses of the post-war period, Yorkshire born Dench briefly played Pru Forrest in the BBC’s The Archers. She’s an advocate for “more progressive drug policies” and only took the role of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride & Prejudice after director Joe Wright wrote to her and … Continue reading “Dame Judi Dench CH, DBE, FRSA”
by Matthew Steeples
Jilly Cooper’s state of the nation style summary strikes chords with Matthew Steeples Best-selling bonkbuster author Jilly Cooper might be best known for novels such as Riders and Jump! but in the 1980s and 90s she was equally lauded as “one of the Conservative Party’s most ardent supporters.” Cooper, born in 1937, showed … Continue reading “The Woman Who’ll Make Politicians Jealous”
November 25, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Of Italian-Jewish descent, Caring is of the “supermarket-sweep” school of empire building. This billionaire started out in the rag trade but now controls the majority of the top restaurants and clubs in Central London. He survived the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and viewed that to be a wakeup call. Since then he’s donated millions to … Continue reading “Richard Caring”
November 15, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
This mouthpiece was born in Rettendon, Essex in 1958 and vents bile on all manner of subjects. Articles such as: “Why don’t more women moan like me?” and “Liz Jones’ baby craving drove her to steal husband’s sperm in ultimate deception” are frankly illustrative of why she’s so unpopular. After she got banned from the … Continue reading “Liz Jones”
November 12, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples examines the truth behind Liz Jones giving up on her “rural idyll” The Mail’s Liz Jones is a waspish woman who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Those who’ve paid even a moment’s attention to her bleating, will be familiar with lines such as: “Last week, my brand … Continue reading “The battleaxe in the Beemer”
November 1, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
This billionaire former president of the Bank of Moscow lives in exile in London and is on the Interpol Red Notices wanted list as a suspect in a £136 million (13 billion rouble) fraud.
by Matthew Steeples
This Swiss born son of a printer has spent over £85 million buying up properties in the Henley-on-Thames area of Oxfordshire. Schwarzenbach also owns 123,000 acres in Australia, 26,000 acres in Scotland and has his own polo team, the Black Bears. This financier’s foreign exchange dealership, Interexchange, is the biggest in Switzerland and betting against … Continue reading “Urs Schwarzenbach”
October 25, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
The Queen’s life in 3 minutes and 24 seconds This week we must thank Dan Large for having alerted us to an amazing YouTube video showing Her Majesty The Queen’s life in 3 minutes and 24 seconds. Created by “an old retired guy who likes to play with computers” named “HerBunk” and using … Continue reading “Video of the Week: The Queen morphs”
October 15, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples discovers Michael Winner’s links to descriptions of unwelcome “out of towners” My last linguistic rambling explored two words, “plebs” and “ladettes,” that, like Andrew Mitchell MP, truly need to be eliminated from our culture. The next two in this series, “grockles” and “emmets,” have far more amusing origins and truly sum up … Continue reading ““Grockles” and “Emmets””
October 4, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Living life to the full Donald G. Abbey style “Why pay less when you can pay more?” is a mantra that some strangely choose to live by. In my time, I have encountered a couple with a different Ferrari for each day of the week, someone who proudly declared their home had a window … Continue reading “Why pay less?”
by Matthew Steeples
Nicky Haslam adds another string to his bow Nicky Haslam is a man of many parts. He’s best known as an interior designer and author but over the years, in chameleon like fashion, he’s variously styled himself as Liam Gallagher, bought a house in Transylvania on the net and once told Vanity Fair he’d … Continue reading “Video of the Week: Total Control”
September 21, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
A white van man not afraid to bare his heart After a mixed response to our last picture of the week, taken from the Mail Online and featuring a “whingeing Brit” pensioner named Pamela Burbery, today we have chosen a more positive image from the very same title. This week’s image is … Continue reading “Picture of the Week: Going white for Linda”
August 20, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
He co-founded City AM and was executive producer of the 2009 film Boogie Woogie. This Russian financier and lawyer led a closeted life and disappeared in March 2008. Elements of the Russian press suggest he’s living in California under the Federal Witness Protection Program but others argue that he was the victim of foul play … Continue reading “Leonid Rozhetskin”
August 1, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Boris Johnson hosts Rupert Murdoch at the Olympics The Daily Mail and other titles are in uproar today. It has been revealed that the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has invited Rupert Murdoch and his wife, Wendi Deng, to be his guests at the women’s 800m freestyle swimming finals of the Olympics this week. … Continue reading “Boris comes out kung-fu fighting”
June 4, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Music fit for The Queen In recent days, Gary Barlow’s albumn Sing has topped the UK album charts with sales of 40,000 copies. Two hundred and ten musicians, including the African Children’s Choir and the Royal Solomon Islands Police Force Band, helped record this special tribute to The Queen. Produced by Barlow with …
