Tag: designer

Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung
Fashion fruitcake Alexa Chung arrogantly announces that she has no interest in anything other than “endless parties” in “post-pandemic” times

Whilst over 100,000 people may have died from coronavirus in Britain to date, this morning, the Guardian’s Jess Cartner-Morley shared that alien-to-all-of-this Alexa Chung – a weird wench who once merged her entire name into one hashtag, #ALEXACHUNG – has announced that her priority is not helping others, but instead getting her glad rags on when the pandemic is over.

In response to a WhatsApp message from Cartner-Morley, fresh from running up debts of £2.3 million in 2020, ex-Big Mouth Chung supposedly, without a thought for those already gone and others on their deathbeds, ridiculously replied:

“When I think about life post-pandemic, all I can think about is endless parties… [I will be in] eye-wateringly short bodycon dresses – I may need matching knickers – and high heels.”

NHS staff and key workers will no doubt also be delighted to learn of Chung’s latest pearl and once again: “Thanks, Alexa” will resonate throughout the land.

Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung – Spoof Wikipedia-esque site Illogicopedia.org amusingly describe Alexa Chung as a “British fashion model made entirely out of wood.” They add: “She is best known for designing custom handbags for diabetic canker sores and hurling red paint at celebrities who refuse to wear fur” and conclude: “Anything you can do Alexa can do better. She can do anything better than you.”

Descriptions of Alexa Chung

By herself:
- “Starlet.”
- “Human.”
- “Fashion brand.”
- “Queen of Instagram.”
- “It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
- “I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
- “I have an emotional connection with other people.”
- “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
- “I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
- “[Modelling] warped my reality.”
By Lily Waddell of the Mail on Sunday:
- “Fashion royalty.”
- “The belle of the ball.”
- “The biggest designer name of the moment.”
- “A style maven.”
- “A starlet.”
- “A fashion genius.”
By Niomi Harris of the MailOnline:
- “Usually cuts a stylish figure at showbiz bashes.”
- “Stunning.”
- “Allows her dress to do the talking.”
By Kayleigh Giles of the MailOnline:
- “Sits front row at almost every major Fashion Week show.”
- “Stylish.”
- “Star.”
By Anna Wintour:
- “A phenomenon.”
By The Sun’s Simon Boyle:
- “Miserable, snooty model.”
- “Galling.”
- “Ridiculous.”
- “Does naff all.”
- “Stuck-up socialite.”
- “Believes she knows better.”
- “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her line.”
- “Don’t go into business with a pretentious model [like Alexa Chung], there’s a lesson for you.”
Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung – Prior to coronavirus lockdowns in the UK and elsewhere, Alexa Chung was best known for hitting the party circuit and in February 2019 hosted a launch for a range of sunglasses at a restaurant named Wild By Tart. At it, she “allowed her dress to do the talking” and also “spoke of her “#MeToo moment.” She managed to find also to be snapped being kissed simultaneously on her cheeks by both Pixie Geldoff and Jack Guinness.

Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung – In June last year, utterly in love with herself Alexa Chung shared a bizarre 22:08 minute ‘video quiz’ on YouTube. In it, she helpfully announced that her lockdown activities had included “Netflix and chilling” and banged on about herself and her style tips. She suggested of the medium she was using: “The beauty of doing this on this is that you can just pause me.” Instead, 61 people unsurprisingly hit the ‘dislike’ button.
January 30, 2021
The Filthy Money of Maxwell (and Borgerson and Epstein)

As two associates of Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew get snared, the money of Ghislaine Maxwell (and her supposed “boss”) starts to be clawed back for victims

Just as the monstrous molesting model boss Jean-Luc Brunel (famed for supposedly supplying Jeffrey Epstein with two 8-year-old girls as a birthday gift) and the dirty designer Peter Nygard (best known for having an “orgy pit” on his private jet and holidaying with ‘Randy Andy’ and his family) deservedly got themselves arrested this week, the shit also hit the fan of the finances of Ghislaine Maxwell and the estate of her late paedophile “boss.”

Whilst many justifiably believe Maxwell was actually the mistress of the money rather than the ex-school teacher Epstein himself – given some £500 million of her father’s ill-gotten gains vanished prior to her move to New York in the wake of him “falling” off the back of his yacht – the ability of Scott Borgerson, the 58-year-old mucky madam’s 44-year-old husband, to find the £23 million of wonga he’s using to try to get her bail should also be examined. “Where is this cash coming from?” should be the question the authorities should be shouting out.

Elsewhere, in the wake of Artnet News revealing that “prosecutors are issuing subpoenas to Sotheby’s and Christie’s” demanding they “turn over documents relating to Epstein’s art purchases,” the Mirror exclusively revealed this morning that the first two “victims” of the croaked criminal “have now agreed [thus far undisclosed] cash settlements with the billionaire financier’s estate.”

It is now time that justice was done for all who’ve suffered at the hands of this elite excrement and it is especially time that non-sweating, horse allergic Prince Andrew came forward and told the truth to the FBI about what he really knows. Of course, sadly, he won’t.

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Author Kirby Sommers shared the supposed first photograph of Ghislaine Maxwell with her now husband Scott Borgerson on her Twitter feed yesterday, whilst the ’New York Post’ reported that it was taken in 2013 at the Arctic Circle assembly in Reykjavik, Iceland in October 2013. Speakers at the event included Hillary Clinton and Google chairman Eric Schmidt.

Nobody has ever managed to convincingly managed to explain where Jeffrey Epstein’s billions came from. Nobody has ever convincingly explained where his ex-lover Ghislaine Maxwell’s deceased daddy’s missing millions went either.

December 18, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Alexa Chung
Self-declared “human” Alexa Chung’s fashion business unsurprisingly flops; the “stuck-up socialite’s” company is supposedly very deservedly “in tatters”

Utterly boring, former presenter of the appropriately named show Big Mouth, Alexa Chung has hit the headlines yet again – and unsurprisingly given her audacity, annoyingness and arrogance, it’s very deservedly for the wrong reasons.

Featured in The Sun this morning, the paper’s ‘Bizarre Column’ reporter Simon Boyle reported Chung’s company, Alpha Charlie Limited, “lost almost £2.3 million and is predicting a tough 2021.”

Going further, Doyle revealed: “Shareholders had to pump in £1.7 million, then put in more money in June this year.” He then concluded:

“If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her lines. But alas, the stuck-up socialite believed she knew better. Yet it seems even her posh pals have snubbed her not-so-trendy designs… Don’t go into business with a pretentious model, there’s a lesson for you.”

Previously this dopey drip of a designer has made headlines for claiming David and Victoria Beckham “begged” to talk to her at a party and even merged her Christian and surnames into one word, ‘ALEXACHUNG,’ to accompany her transition “from muse to founder and creative director.”

Now, given nobody wants to buy your tepid tat, Miss Chung, please finally copy your Amazon namesake and “Alexa off.”

Descriptions of Alexa Chung:

By herself:
- “Starlet.”
- “Human.”
- “Fashion brand.”
- “Queen of Instagram.”
- “It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
- “I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
- “I have an emotional connection with other people.”
- “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
- “I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
- “[Modelling] warped my reality.”
By Lily Waddell of the Mail on Sunday:
- “Fashion royalty.”
- “The belle of the ball.”
- “The biggest designer name of the moment.”
- “A style maven.”
- “A starlet.”
- “A fashion genius.”
By Niomi Harris of the MailOnline:
- “Usually cuts a stylish figure at showbiz bashes.”
- “Stunning.”
- “Allows her dress to do the talking.”
By Kayleigh Giles of the MailOnline:
- “Sits front row at almost every major Fashion Week show.”
- “Stylish.”
- “Star.”
By Anna Wintour:
- “A phenomenon.”
By The Sun’s Simon Boyle:
- “Miserable, snooty model.”
- “Galling.”
- “Ridiculous.”
- “Does naff all.”
- “Stuck-up socialite.”
- “Believes she knows better.”
- “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her line.”
- “Don’t go into business with a pretentious model [like Alexa Chung], there’s a lesson for you.”
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In October, Alexa Chung decided to pretend she was Queen Elizabeth II. The boring 16:53-minute YouTube feature was not in the slightest amusing, but, of course, this ridiculous woman accompanied her shit-show with a vain message: “And yes, I’m 36” and an announcement that she was launching her own Spotify channel.
December 10, 2020
Handbagged by Meghan

Handbag created by Louis Vuitton to “celebrate” the marriage of Meghan Markle to Prince Harry to be auctioned for a crazy sum

Handbags with connections to famous women often sell for crazy sums and in December 2015, The Steeple Times featured one used by Margaret Thatcher on her last visit to Downing Street. It sold for a staggering £47,500 ($60,000, €53,200 or درهم220,000) against a low estimate of just £1,000 ($1,260, €1,121 or درهم4,629) at Christie’s and now another made to “celebrate” the wedding of the then Meghan Markle to the then Prince Harry is being auctioned.

Offered with an estimate of £12,000 to £18,000 ($15,100 to $22,700, €13,500 to €20,200 or درهم55,500 to درهم83,300) in spite of not even being in perfect condition, the 2018 Louis Vuitton ‘Petite Malle’ handbag is number 13 of 21 made. It features a Union Jack flag, has a blue and black leather lined interior and comes with a dust bag and box.

Of the item, Sophie Higgs, designer collection specialist at Fellows Auctioneers, remarked: “We are delighted to announce the auction of this extremely rare handbag… In keeping with the wedding itself, the handbag has been shaped by the wealth of history that feeds all Louis Vuitton trunks, yet it flies a path of its own.”

Given the supposed frostiness with her sister-in-law, one thing’s for sure: The Duchess of Cambridge most certainly won’t be putting in a bid. ‘MeGain’ fans (if there are any left), fastest fingers at the ready – The online sale is open and closes on Monday 8^th June.

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The bag is described as being “in a very good condition, like new, with only one minor scuff to the top left and lower corners.”

It comes with a strap and its original box.

June 3, 2020
It’s Just Awful Being Alexa

Self-absorbed Alexa Chung isn’t worrying about people dying from coronavirus; she’s too busy moaning about people not focusing on the real her

“The human” Alexa Chung can be relied upon to make utterly everything about herself.

Earlier this month, the “fashion genius” and “belle of the ball” revealed that she begged David and Victoria Beckham to talk to her at a party. Of the encounter, this strange woman bizarrely told the Mail on Sunday’s ‘Talk of the Town’ column: “I said: ‘I know you have a lot of money, but I’ll pay you anything to talk to me right now.’ And they were really nice.” The trick plainly worked – as Miss Chung got the column inches she plainly so desperately so craves.

Now with no one in their right mind wanting to talk to the very wealthy Beckhams – who’ve quite deservedly joined the ranks of the pariahs of the coronavirus pandemic due to their shameless attempts to get the state to bailout their failing businesses – Chung yesterday moved on to share her latest woe in order to garner a few more words in print.

“The only thing people want to know about her is what it’s like having the same name as Amazon’s [Alexa]” stated ‘Talk of the Town,’ before concluding: “Unsurprisingly, she’s getting a bit fed up.” Chung – whom (as you do) loves “people-watching” in airports and “Googling pictures of Jane Birkin” at breakfast – herself added: “This is the most frequently asked question in my life.” Ah, diddums!

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On her own website, oh yes and seeing is believing: Alexa Chung does share the revelation that she is a human. Thank God for that.

April 26, 2020
Thanks Alexa

Alexa Chung transitions from “fashion genius” to “fashion designer” and shares her views on Googling and airports; Matthew Steeples asks: “Who’d want to miss such important news?”

Is there nothing that the ‘Queen of Instagram’ (with her 3.1 million followers) Alexa Chung cannot master? This “phenomenon,” “starlet” and “human” (that’s her very own description of herself by the way), The Guardian today announced, is “back in a different guise” and making her “debut as a designer” at London Fashion Week. “Hasn’t she been in (or out) of fashion for years?” we hear you cry.

Alexa Chung is, of course, a “human” (aside from being many other amazing things)

God help anyone who gets in this one-time (failed) television presenter’s way. She blocked me on Twitter simply because I dared to question her relevance outside of the confines of Stephen Fry-land and now (modest as ever) “it’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now” Chung has merged her name into one word: ALEXACHUNG to accompany her transition “from muse to founder and creative director.” One might ask: “Why?” but of course the answer’s simple for this 34-year-old: It makes life easier when one is already so well known, doesn’t it?

Naturally, when she’s not (as everyone does at breakfast) “still Googling pictures of Jane Birkin,” Chung now finds herself observing the world. She remarks: “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”

Just the kind of advice we all need: Thanks, Alexa.

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September 15, 2018
Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith)

A pioneer of both the Art Deco style and the functionalist Modernist movement, bisexual Irish aristocrat Eileen Gray was best known for designing the Bibendum chair and the E.1027 table. This great tastemaker lived primarily in South Kensington, Paris and the South of France and another of her creations, once owned by Yves Saint Laurent, the ‘Fauteuil aux Dragons’ armchair, sold for £19 million at auction in 2009.

Extremely private, Gray once remarked: “The art of the engineer is not enough… A house is not a machine to live in. It is the shell of man, his extension, his release, his spiritual emanation. Not only its visual harmony but its organisation as a whole, the whole work combined together, make it human in the most profound sense.”

A stunning example of Eileen Gray’s work, an S-bend chair, is on display in Room 135, The Dr. Susan Weber Gallery at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London.

Eileen Gray also designed the ‘E.1027’ house at Roquebrune-Cap-Martin, overlooking the Bay of Monaco in Franc as a gift for her lover, Jean Badovici, the editor of ‘L’Architecture Vivante’. ‘E’ is for Eileen, ‘10’ for the tenth letter of the alphabet, ‘J’ for Jean, ‘2’ for ‘B’ for Badovici and ‘7’ for ‘G’ for Gray. The building was completed in 1929.

The E-1027 table was designed for the eponymous house in 1927.

August 6, 2017
A Take On Theresa

Artist Enzina Fuschini showcases her take on Theresa May at an exhibition in Chelsea; the work is supposedly anything but political

Italian artist and designer Enzina Fuschini held a press preview for her ‘Impact’ exhibition at Chelsea’s 508 Gallery on the Kings Road last night.

Aside from eleven 100cm by 100cm oil on canvas works, ranging in price from £3,000 to 4,000, and one larger canvas at £6,850, this energetic “pictorial force” has included a timely portrayal of Theresa May. The painting contains all the colours of the Tory leader’s “red, white and blue Brexit” but, according to its artist, presents “her in a timeless style with an ageless expression”.

Of the work, a spokesman for Fuschini remarked:

“[Enzina sought to] portray the woman behind the politician. The painting is not political. She had already started the painting three months before the General Election announcement and intends to give the painting to Theresa May as a keepsake”.

‘Impact’ will be shown at 508 Kings Road Gallery, London, SW10 0LD until 19^th June.

One of thirteen works by Enzina Fuschini on display at the exhibtion

June 7, 2017
Robert Adam

With such a name, this suave gent just had to design landmarks. University of Westminster educated and Hampshire based Robert Adam (born 1948) followed his more famous namesake (1728 – 1792) and became a designer of “progressive neo-classical style buildings” in 1975. He won “the richest prize in architecture” in January 2017 and counts the Sackler Library at the University of Oxford, a “miniature Baroque mansion” at Eastwood Farm – complete with a lion on the roof – in Herstmonceux, East Sussex and the “KGB proof” Ingliston House on the Wentworth Estate in Surrey amongst his notable works.

(more…)

May 27, 2017
Jack Schlossberg (AKA John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg)

New York born, Yale educated Jack Schlossberg is the only grandson of JFK. The son of designer and artist Ed Schlossberg and former Ambassador to Japan Caroline Kennedy, Schlossberg co-founded ReLight New York, a non-profit organsiation that installed fluorescent lights in low-income housing developments, whilst at school and has expressed a desire to pursue a career in politics. In May 2017, he was interviewed on NBC Today and commented: “I’m inspired by my family’s legacy of public service. It’s something that I’m very proud of, but I’m still trying to make my own way, figure things out, so stay tuned”.

May 6, 2017