In the first of a series, we examine the character types of London – We begin with barflies
Every bar has (at least) one but visitors to bars may encounter three types of barfly – people who spend much of their time drinking in bars – and here we define them as The Crashing Bore Barfly, The Nightmare on Bar Street and The Jolly Addition.
The first of the species comes in several forms. He – and there can can be female versions also – is a self-declared expert on something. It could be cricket or it could be politics but whatever their forte, they’ll share an opinion. The Crashing Bore Barfly’s audience frankly doesn’t matter and anyone will do but frankly whether it’s a man, woman or child, they will hone in with precision and will not let go. Take on this tiger at your peril as you’ll never win.
The second – The Nightmare on Bar Street – has more rhino-like tendencies. A law unto themselves, he or she is known to perform such actions as relieving themselves in front of you on their bar stool and on occasions might try and impersonate Donald Duck. They accost true innocents as regulars sensibly avoid their gaze, but what’s worse is that they’ll likely spit in your soda or hit on your date. You won’t get rid of them easily but no one in their right mind falls prey twice: As unforgettable as such people are, you’ll have learnt your lesson.
Our final selection is a more positive example. This one loves a drink and a bit of bonhomie but also knows when to leave others be. If someone looks in need of company – as those traveling alone often are – The Jolly Addition will offer a few pointers. He or she may make a joke or tell a tale but gracefully doesn’t even need a nod. Make sure this is the barfly that you seek out.
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