Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Overheard – 15th February

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

 

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Fridge cold love

In The Antelope pub on Eaton Terrace in SW1, two plain clothed policemen sat lamenting marital matters. One announced: “I’ve bought the wife a fridge for Valentine’s Day. Probably not the most romantic gift but she’s going to be well chilled”.

 

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Fighting for a pint

On a 10.37am train to Whitstable from London Victoria, a group of men sat drinking tins of lager. A woman asked: “Where are you off to lads?” One replied: “We are going to 19 pubs. And we drink 19 pints each. And then we fight”. Another was later heard to comment: “At least Rhys Rogan isn’t with us today. Whenever he comes, the next day, there are pictures of people covered in blood on Facebook”.

 

Over baking a potato

In The Rock Lodge log cabin themed music and sports bar in Whitstable, two identically dressed ladies walked in on a Saturday at lunchtime. “Do you serve baked potatoes?” the first asked. The bartender replied: “Sorry, no”. The women turned on their feet and the second answered: “Well, that’s not good enough. We only do gluten free. We won’t be stopping here”.

 

The Four C’s: Climate Change, Charles and Camilla

In a country pub in Gloucestershire, two 50-something men sat reading the newspapers. One, picking up his pint, pontificated: “Prince Charles should keep out of politics. He should not speak about climate change. Donald Trump would deal with him. Close him down. Loser! Loser!” The other answered: “You’re dead right. And he shouldn’t have married that horse either. The four ‘C’s’ are nothing but a bloody menace”.

 

Times don’t change

A woman in a café in chatted with her friend. She observed: “In the 1990s, I used to get annoyed when my mother said: ‘Get off the Internet, I need to use the phone’. Now, I find myself telling my 5-year old kid: ‘Get off my smartphone, I need to text your deadbeat dad’.

 

Bring out the Blue Nun

“Chablis: Let me try”, requested a snotty middle-aged owman in the Polo Bar at The Westbury in Mayfair. On tasting, she exclaimed: “Disgusting. Not expensive tasting”. The bartender: “What do you like instead?” Her answer: “I heard Andrew Neil advocates Blue Nun. Do you have that?”

 

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The Steeple Times
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1 COMMENT

  1. Prince Charles speaks so much sense on climate change. Look at the mess in California right now: From drought to deluge and impending disaster.

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