Classic clangers from the last week
Lunch with(out) obligations
At The Phene in Chelsea, a distinguished lady was approached by a man of pensionable age. He was overheard to remark: “I’d like to invite you for Sunday lunch… However, if you offer sex, I won’t accept”. The lunch date was declined. This chap has to be our winner of the charmer of the year.
Broadcaster Richard Madeley took to Twitter to claim the ‘Madeleyisms’ quotes that trended last week were “mostly bollocks”. He added: “Yeah, thank **** I don’t take myself seriously. I’d be in the wrong game if I did”. If any reader has ever taken Richard Madeley “seriously”, please can they let us know?
Phone the battery
From the @GSElevator Twitter feed: “Want to prolong the battery life on your iPhone? Put it the f**k away when you’re talking to me”. A good point, well made.
Katie Hopkins took to Twitter to share a picture of a toaster. She remarked: “A Dualit 24 carat gold plated toaster at £1000. If this is in your life, you need to get one”. Given her recent remarks about Palestinians, isn’t it actually her career that is toast?
Friends and love
On a train from Manchester to London, reader David Peters overheard two women chatting. The first, Sharon, commented: “You’re starting to sound sexist”. The second, Helen, responded: “I’m not sexist. I’m having what I call a ‘Sharon Moment’. It generally happens when I ask a guy on a date”. Sharon replied: “What do you mean?” Helen answered: “I get no love”. With friends like these…
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