As the public quite rightly rubbish a disgraceful ‘Mail on Sunday’ diatribe against the campaigning footballer Marcus Rashford, he responds with dignity and launches a book club
In their frankly completely irrelevant and unnecessary diatribe, Buckwell and Aitchison banged on about how the school meal campaigning footballer Marcus Rashford MBE had bought “five luxury homes” with mortgages “from the Queen’s bank, Coutts.”
Pointedly, aside from these perfectly legitimate buy-to-let investments, the pair trivially carped on about Rashford trademarking his name in the US and quite rightly of this Liew responded: “Virtually none of this is really anyone’s business.”
Aside from the fact that Rashford has done nothing illegal, one would have thought The Mail on Sunday could have put their resources to use instead to investigate the allegations of huge tax avoidance against the House of Commons Leader, Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Given that one Maureen Fitzsimmons’ tweet about that has been liked by 22,200 individuals and retweeted 7,900 times, one could suggest that newsworthy, but since Rees-Mogg’s activities are not much different to those of the Mail’s very own proprietor Viscount Rothermere’s very own tax affairs, they wouldn’t be wanting to touch that with a barge pole.
Elsewhere this morning, humble and decent Marcus Rashford – whom responded to the Buckwell and Aitchison jamboree by quite rightly stating: “Ok, so let’s address this. I’m 23. I came from little. I need to protect not just my future but my family’s too. To do that I made a decision at the beg [SIC] of 2020 to start investing more in property. Please don’t run stories like this alongside refs to ‘campaigning.’” – announced plans to launch a book club. Unsurprisingly, the Mail showed very little interest in that.
Rashford sensibly addressed the hateful piece by Andy Buckwell and Max Aitchison with a civilised response on Sunday. In doing show, he showed himself as the bigger man.Amongst those who leapt to his defence were businesswoman Deborah Meaden. One Twitter user, Jon Butterworth, added: “Wonder if Andy Buckwell or Max Aitchison ever did anything decent that helped anyone or scored a good goal.” Another pointed out that Aitchison himself supposedly lives in a £1.2 million home.This morning, humble Rashford shared news of a book club he is working on to help children experience “escapism” from reading news. In a show of dignity, he didn’t even bother to mention Aitchison or Buckwell.Maureen Fitzsimmons’ tweet about the affairs of government minister Jacob Rees-Mogg has attracted huge attention on Twitter. It has attracted no interest from the ‘Mail’ – how terribly surprising. Not.
EXCLUSIVE – On the first anniversary of ‘Randy Andy’ Prince Andrew’s juggernaut wreck BBC interview about Jeffrey Epstein, authors Nigel Cawthorne and Kirby Sommers share their thoughts with ‘The Steeple Times’ reports Matthew Steeples
Exactly one year ago this evening, Prince Andrew no doubt sat down in an armchair with his batshit bonkers live-in ex-wife ‘Fergie’ onside ready to heap congratulations upon his chubby ego. The telly box centre stage in Royal Lodge, the toe sucking lover was no doubt whacking back a vat or ten of bubbles and munching on a sledge of sausages. Boringly, the non-sweater was likely just dribbling into a Diet Coke.
Speaking to The Steeple Times exclusively to mark the first anniversary of the Duke of York’s juggernaut wreck of an interview with Emily Maitlis for the BBC, Kirby Sommers, an activist, feminist, author and sex slave survivor, remarked:
“What has been fascinating one year after the disastrous interview Prince Andrew gave to the BBC is that Ghislaine Maxwell did not make a public statement of any sort in his defence. My take on this is not just an on-going acceptance that he lied and in fact did have sex with Virginia Giuffre, a trafficked victim of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, but that in addition to this: Maxwell would face a second slander lawsuit from Giuffre should she claim ‘Virginia is lying about Prince Andrew and nothing happened.’ Maxwell settled the first defamation lawsuit with Giuffre in 2017.”
“Prince Andrew’s ill-advised interview showed the world he depended on Jeffrey Epstein for financial advice and introductions on Wall Street. It appears he received additional perks from his friendship with Epstein. Furthermore, it is painfully clear to all who follow this case that Ghislaine Maxwell was not the ‘plus one’ the prince claimed her to be. His friendship with Epstein appears to have been more important than any previous relationship he may have had with Maxwell.”
“It is also apparent there are forces at work to continue to keep Prince Andrew from admitting guilt. His name was redacted in the documents that were just released from the Giuffre v Maxwell lawsuit. It is, however, in keeping with the methodology: his name, if you recall, was asked not to be mentioned by a judge in lawsuits against Jeffrey Epstein.”
“His popularity has disappeared. His name is scorned. The palace has even removed his Twitter handle from their website and souvenirs bearing his likeness from their gift shop.”
“What has to happen at this point is Prince Andrew must take responsibility for his actions. He cannot continue to be a pampered child as he approaches his 61st birthday. If not for himself, if not for his children, if not for Virginia Giuffre, then he must do so for the monarchy.”
Adding his thoughts and sharing his extensive knowledge on this first anniversary, Nigel Cawthorne, author of Prince Andrew: Epstein, Maxwell and the Palace, told The Steeple Times late Sunday:
“What do you do if you shoot yourself in the foot in front of millions of people and you are a soldier at heart? This was Prince Andrew’s night-time puzzle a year ago. You march on and hope that you won’t ambush yourself again, he must have thought.”
“Unfortunately, the prince was not blessed with good luck. He scored another own body blow when his words angered the US Attorney investigating Epstein’s sex ring so much that the full force of US legal power abroad was deployed to try and get the prince’s testimony.”
“Since the prince is his own worst enemy, there really is no telling what will happen next. Although November 2020 is only the anniversary of the interview, the palace’s ‘Epstein Affair’ has been gathering momentum for almost a decade. It has been so spectacularly mishandled that it could go any which way at this point, which makes it a far absorbing drama than Meghan and Harry’s even if the backdrop couldn’t be more tawdry.”
“Is he the typical – and now much maligned – middle-aged white male relying on privilege as Epstein’s victims say, or a victim of the victims as he has solidly maintained throughout? Andrew has consistently categorically denied all allegations against him. Though soon a grandfather, the prince is unlikely voluntarily to hang up his crown any time soon.”
Likely to lose all his titles by the end of the year, Prince Andrew’s ‘annus horribilis’ is complete. The Queen is supposedly not talking to him and now the cryptically coded message we published in January from The Times (which again follows below and which could indeed have been from Ghislaine Maxwell perhaps) now likely will prove true. No more “good wishes” need follow after this anniversary.
In Memoriam – Private
TO ANDREW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Did you ever love someone deeply, and out they didn’t love you?
Did you ever feel they weren’t kind to you, and wonder what you should do?
Did you ever blindly trust in love, but your love didn’t want to stay?
Love only causes problems, it happens every day
You wonder how they can sleep at night
You wonder how they can feel delight
You wonder how love could ever feel light
When you are left weighed down by fright
Love hurts so much, the price you pay is high
Choosing between love and death, I’d much prefer to die
Take my advice, don’t fall in love, you’ll get hurt before it’s through
You see, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.
Pictured top: Prior to his disastrous interview, ‘Air Miles Andy’ used to jet around the world smirking with foreign dignitaries and dodgy dictators. He must truly miss those jollies and especially all that jetting. Now, on the anniversary of this juggernaut wreck, this smug sop finds himself nothing other than a social pariah.
Randy’s Anniversary – That photo (Prince Andrew, Virginia Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell): This image undoubtedly remains likely to be the ultimate source of Prince Andrew’s undoing. He continues to deny it as a fake, but he’s failed to prove it to be such and on the anniversary of the BBC interview, his future looks even more bleak.Randy’s Anniversary – Sausage muncher Sarah Ferguson was variously said to be the person who encouraged and the person whom discouraged Prince Andrew to give the interview. Given her childlike style, we’d suggest the former. Randy’s Anniversary – In the year since ‘Andrewgate,’ Ghislaine Maxwell – pictured here with Kira Faiman and fellow jailbird Martha Stewart – has hit the clink. Remarkably, the Duke of York last met with the breathtakingly arrogant mucky madam in June 2019 when she was in London for the Cash & Rocket London-Monte Carlo ‘charity’ rally.Randy’s Anniversary – A captioned image of the Queen with Boris Johnson that went viral shortly after the interview has proven partially true. ‘Bosie The Clown’ has certainly delivered on the “really stupid” front, but equally ‘Randy Andy’ and ‘Fergie’ have kept on shoving their gumboots in the proverbial.Randy’s Anniversary – The ultimate impact of the interview was perfectly summed up by the ‘New York Post’ and on the anniversary of it, this arrogant prat finds himself seeking ever deeper into the sewage tank.
As serial killer Peter Sutcliffe dies, ‘The Steeple Times’ invites readers to submit their nominations for the best and worst people of 2020 – he’ll definitely be joining ‘The Ones Who Won’t Be Missed”
The quote: “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure” is often misattributed to Mark Twain, but with news of the demise of the evil serial killer Peter Sutcliffe (AKA ‘The Yorkshire Ripper’), that quote most definitely rang true for many.
Whilst, according to The Atlantic, the sentiment itself actually closest relates to the words of the lawyer Clarence Darrow – whom in 1932 stated: “All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike someone they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction” – Sutcliffe’s death was quite rightly described as bringing “some kind of closure for victims’ families” this morning in the Guardian.
As we begin to prepare The Steeple Times’annual Heroes & Villains list of the best and worst people of 2020, we can guarantee that Peter Sutcliffe will make it towards the top of the year’s “One’s Who Won’t Be Missed,” but whether he’ll replace last year’s winner Jeffery Epstein remains to be seen.
Readers are invited to submit their nominations for The Steeple Times’ Heroes and Villains list by email to [email protected]. There are twenty-five spots to be allocated in each of the following categories:
Sutcliffe Won’t Be Missed – In 2020, our readers and selection committee chose Lorraine Kelly as the best person of 2020 and the barbarian bear slayer Larysa Switlyk as the worst. Please join the 7,000 who’ve already signed the petition to ban Switlyk from Instagram by clicking here.Sutcliffe Won’t Be Missed – In 2020, our readers and selection committee chose Jeffrey Epstein as the winner of our “not missed” category (here he is pictured with the equally filthy fleabag and deservedly incarcerated Ghislaine Maxwell) and ‘Keeping Up Appearances’ star Clive Swift as the winner of our “missed” category (here he is pictured with his brilliant co-star Dame Patricia Routledge).
As the anniversary of Prince Andrew’s car crash interview approaches, Sarah Ferguson pulls another clanger and bangs on about sausages in a feature for ‘The Sun’
On a day when sausage rolls are trending on Twitter with the hashtag #ASausageCaRoll, Sarah Ferguson just couldn’t help but get in on the act.
After sharing crazed videos of herself playing with cupcakes – which she bizarrely termed ‘bathtub teddies’ in spite of the sexual abuse allegations about what her ex-husband got upto in Ghislaine Maxwell’s tub still circulating – the lover of a good old toe suck is at it again.
This morning, ‘Fergie’ – whose husband’s disastrous interview with Emily Maitlis about his late paedophile friend Jeffrey Epstein brought utter shame on the House of York – wrote a comment piece for The Sun.
It is not known how much this mouthy woman was paid by the newspaper or whether she’s actually repaid the money she was loaned by Epstein yet also, but the fact that it was titled: “I found consolation in sausages” about says it all. If clanger prone Sarah Ferguson had any sense, she would now simply do the decent thing: Follow Prince Harry’s lead and disappear into the sunset (with a packet of sausages).
Fergie’s Banger Clanger – Sarah Ferguson has a habit of choosing stories to read on her ‘Storytime with Fergie and Friends’ YouTube channel with titles that don’t exactly help her disgraced ex-husband. He could easily be called a “grizzly itch” and she herself should be told to “go inside.”Fergie’s Banger Clanger – Equally, the Duke of York could be called a “little pig” and completing his threesome would be the late Jeffrey Epstein and his jailed bestie Ghislaine Maxwell.
In a 6:09 minute YouTube video missive, Grimes appeared with a poster of Margaret Thatcher and elsewhere tweeted an image of himself in a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat (with a lightbulb bizarrely above his head as part of a presumed attempt to show intelligence).
Whilst Trump will indeed most certainly contest his defeat, he won’t get anywhere and that ‘Dopey Darren’ believes otherwise is proof of only one thing: The pair of them belong together in the asylum.
‘Dopey Darren’ attempted to come across seriously in his YouTube missive about the defeat of Donald Trump. In reality, he just showed himself as a fool and in response one Twitter user, @LawyerLaughing, remarked: “You are doing anything to be negative Biden winning the election, and it is making you look a twat. You are behaving in exactly the same way as those you criticised in 2016. You lost. Get over it.” Another, former Conservative MP Jerry Hayes, added: “Er, Joe Biden had the largest vote of any Presidential candidate. EVER.”‘Dopey Darren’ well and truly showed himself up in a series of subsequent tweets. His claim that “the future is bright for the Right” was deservedly deemed laughable by many respondents.
Event promoter bizarrely gives up on the coming New Year and begins promoting an event to welcome in 2022 instead
Whilst most of us are wishing 2020 would sink as fast as the Titanic, locked up Londoners surely would prefer to get through the coming New Year 2021 rather than already start worrying about New Year 2022.
For a firm named The Mansion London, however, this is not the case and rather prematurely, they are promoting a bash to welcome 2022 which they curiously claim the Evening Standard has already described as “one of the spookiest and biggest events around.”
Whilst associating New Year’s Eve with the spookiness of Halloween might itself seem a bit beyond wacky, the self-declared “best New Year’s Eve party in London” – for which tickets are priced from £24 for a “super early bird” to £150 per person for a “VIP table” seat – is being held not at some swanky West End joint, but instead in a “private venue” in the less salubrious Zone 2.
The Mansion London declare of their 2021 out, 2022 in bash: “[The] address will be sent to official ticket holders 48 hours before the night” and insist on a white dress code as they claim to “love expressive party animals.”
Going further, they then add: “An impressive clairvoyant will [also be on hand to] give free consultations all night so you [will] know exactly what to expect in 2022.” Given the financial crisis we face right before us now, said individual might by then have already missed the bus.
Just as Hamish, the first polar bear born in the UK in 25 years moves from Scotland to Yorkshire, our petition to ban the barbaric bear slayer Larysa Switlyk from Instagram shoots over 5,000 signatures
Hurrah for Hamish – In July, stage and screen legend Steven Berkoff penned a poem for The Steeple Times about a barbarian bear slayer. He quite rightly expressed his fury about this “ugly human beast,” but today we can share some good news on the polar bear front.
First reported in the Guardian this morning, the first polar bear born in the UK in twenty-five years was moved 400 miles from Scotland to Yorkshire yesterday. The 2.5-year old cub named Hamish has been “an incredible ambassador for his relatives in the wild, playing a crucial role in educating the public about threats faced by many species” according to the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland’s chief executive, David Field.
Speaking to the paper, he remarked:
“A critical part of our role as a wildlife conservation charity is education. Hamish has made a tremendous impression on the thousands of people who visited the park since his birth two and a half years ago, and the billions who saw the news around the world.”
“He has helped to highlight the threats many species face in the wild and the changes we can undertake to really make a difference.”
“Changes in the Arctic climate mean the sea ice that wild polar bears, and other animals, depend on for survival is shrinking and it is predicted this will significantly decrease population numbers over the next 40 years.”
Elsewhere this morning on Change.org, our petition to get the Trump supporting trailer trash Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram has shot up from 4,800 to nearly 5,400 signatures in the last 24 hours. If you haven’t already signed it, please do so by clicking here and help get this massacring monster and her sick imagery banished from social media.
Hurrah for Hamish – Twisted twerp Larysa Switlyk has still not been banned from posting offensive content on Instagram in spite of sharing images of the alligators, bears, goats, peacocks, sheep and countless other poor creatures she’s massacred. We say: “SHAME ON INSTAGRAM” very loudly once again today.
Hurrah for Hamish – A video of Hamish the polar bear is a must watch to lift your spirits on the first day of Lockdown 2.
Author Kirby Sommers reveals the actualite of Epstein-Maxwell documentation; more than six pages about Prince Andrew are missing
New York based “sex slave survivor and advocate for human rights” Kirby Sommers has taken to Twitter to highlight what many suspected in suggesting that there are a number of key pages missing from court documentation about the sordid activities of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.
In a tweet about documents from the Giuffre vs. Maxwell lawsuit, posted on Sunday, Sommers – the author of Jeffrey Epstein: Predator, Spy – declared:
“Virginia Giuffre confided in her then boyfriend about having been instructed to have sex with Prince Andrew.”
“In his deposition when [he] begins to describe that she was ‘scared for her safety’ — the deposition, at this point, those pages are missing. 6 pages with that info missing.”
Sommers undoubtedly has a point and one can only anticipate that the next tranche of Maxwell’s deposition – if and when that gets released – will sadly likely be equally lacking in actualite.
Correction: This article was updated 1pm GMT, 3rd November 2020 to reflect further information supplied by Kirby Sommers.
The Actualite of Andrew – Kirby Sommers’ tweet revealed what many already suspected: The document released only contains the partial first deposition of Ghislaine Maxwell.
As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions
Shared on Instagram by Emma Farah, our word of the week had to be ‘coronacoaster.’
Defined as a noun meaning “the ups and downs of the pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going out for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.”
Elsewhere on Medium.com in an article titled ‘Riding the coronacoaster,’ a Houston based therapist named Kirsten Suleman suggested the word to mean: “The ups and downs of a pandemic; the feeling of uncertainty, anxiety, and helplessness surveying news and information concerning humankind’s possible demise from COVID-19” and now as England likely faces lockup-lockdown again courtesy of the bumbling, bungling buffoon ‘Bosie The Clown,’ here is a rollercoaster that nobody is going to welcome.
Whilst Suleman suggests people take up “journaling” in “spiral notebooks,” we prefer the alternative suggestion of gin so today here are a few of our favourites that you should add to your lockup-lockdown drinks trolley.
No. 3 Gin London Dry
The only gin in the world crafted by someone with a PhD in gin and owned by the world’s finest wine merchants, Berry Bros & Rudd.
This “authentic [44% ABV] coastal spirit” has notes of samphire and bog myrtle. Hints of salt shine through. It’s a catch and once reeled in, it’ll become a keeper.
Dirty Dawn strikes again – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention
Dawn Ward was most likely a bully at school. Prone to pointing her finger and screaming like a banshee on butane, this attention seeking wench tries to fight dirty, but in reality is just a cowardly cretin.
After The Steeple Times quite accurately reported on Mrs Ward – a genuine halfwit harridan whom sadly rose to the Z-list as a result of seeking out publicity through an ITV show named Real Housewives of Cheshire – being charged with racially aggravated harassment of two Jewish brothers and possession of cocaine, she not only blocked us on Twitter but also got her troll troupe on the case.
In response to Twitter subsequently suggesting the removal of a link to our article, we say this: “We entirely stand by what we said about the Cheshire cat Dawn Ward and again highlight her for what she truly is: Trailer trash and the modern-day equivalent of Bet Lynch on steroids.”
Ward, whose “fish fueled fight” with a bit of “napkin slapping” with the singer Sinitta landed her with a conviction for assault in June 2016, should simply realise this as she awaits her truly deserved trial in March 2022: If she can’t take the heat, she shouldn’t go near the coke and quite frankly, she ought to bloody well get out of her especially naff kitchen.
Pictured top: Dawn Ward always delivers when it comes to posing for the camera.
Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Washed up wastrel Dawn Ward often looks angry, but she’d be advised to tone down her temper when she appears in court for alleged cocaine possession and racially aggravated harassment in March 2022.Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Dopey Dawn Ward has blocked on ‘The Steeple Times’ on Twitter. As Lauren Cooper in ‘The Catherine Tate Show’ would say: “Am I bovvered?”Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Creosoted creature Dawn Ward – whom has also been accused of owing £500,000 to fellow ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ participant Leanne Brown – may have spent a small fortune on her kitchen, but anyone sane would just throw such naff faux woodwork in a skip.
Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – If the plastic not fantastic wack job that is Dawn Ward had been born in a different age, she’d likely be a reincarnation of Violet Elizabeth Bott.
