‘Private Eye’ called out for publishing classified adverts from wacko wannabe “Village Elders” with a penchant for “amusing kids” and an actual crackpot crazy who tried and failed to kidnap Princess Anne in London in 1974
The latest edition of Private Eye contains an especially creepy classified advertisement. A link to it was sent to us by an especially beady eyed reader. It states:
Couple (60s) seek position as Village Elders in a community. Skills include knitting, martial arts, book-keeping, business advice, vegetable growing and amusing the kids. Any location worldwide but must speak English. No remuneration needed. Text 07486 434079 for more details.
Aside from the Jimmy Savile-esque vibes that the throwaway inclusion of “amusing kids” gives off, the fact that two sixty somethings of sex undefined want to move utterly anywhere for utterly no payment seems a little beyond weird. Whilst calls and texts from The Steeple Times to the number for the knitting and martial arts lovers listed were not answered, what’s the betting on these wannabe “Village Elders” being successful in their quest for their wacko wants? We wouldn’t go below 999/1.
The advert posted by the wannabe “Village Elders” that will likely not result in them achieving the placement they desire.
Elsewhere in the same magazine’s classified section is an advert placed by another oddity named Ian Ball. It doesn’t exactly share a great deal of detail, but simply offers:
‘To Kidnap a Princess’ by Ian Ball noveltokidnapaprincess.co.uk
For the majority whom unsurprisingly don’t immediately recognise this somewhat ordinary sounding name, this is the very same Ian Ball who attempted to kidnap Princess Anne on 20th March 1974 on Pall Mall in London, but who only succeeded in injuring a number of bystanders with a series of shots. Ball failed in his attempt – which was later bizarrely ‘justified’ as a “publicity stunt” and an attempt to raise £2 million from a ransom that he claimed he intended to give to the NHS – and subsequently pleaded guilty to attempted murder and kidnapping. John Hazan QC, defending, claimed his client was “mad” and had been “led by a voice of either his late father or God.”
Top: The attempted kidnapping of Princess Anne in March 1974, as reconstructed in the 2006 ITV drama ‘To Kidnap A Princess’. Bottom: Failed kidnapper Ian Ball snapped arriving for his trial and the Rolls-Royce in which Princess Anne travelled on the night of the attempt to abduct her.The advert promoting Ian Ball’s book.
Ball – who also goes by the pseudonym ‘Anthony Stewart’ – was subsequently diagnosed with schizophrenia and detained in mental hospitals for 45 years until his release in 2019. In August 2025, he laughably claimed the late Queen Elizabeth II had been the “ringleader” of a plot that led to him being wrongfully jailed and told the Daily Mail: “I’m an innocent, sane man… The whole idea of performing the hoax was to get the publicity so I could write my autobiography and I expected to get £10,000 in royalties.”
Going further, on the website linked to from the online version of the weekly magazine, most certainly beyond bonkers Ball rages whilst promoting his tall tale tome To Kidnap a Princess:
“The author spent 45 years locked up in Rampton and Broadmoor criminal lunatic asylums, after being convicted of the attempted kidnapping of Princess Anne.”
“Throughout his stay in the asylums he was in constant conflict with the psychopathic screws and criminal doctors.”
“The abuse resulting from the conflict was born with a remarkable stoicism and with an astonishing positive attitude. Such resilience was due, mainly, to the author’s efforts in applying his hilariously unique and wry sense of humour to the situation.”
“Although the authorities did everything to try and break his spirit, the author remains unbowed and eventually prevails.”
In light of the highlighting of these two clearly crackpot advertisements, perhaps Private Eye might henceforth implement a better procedure to vet those taking space in their classifieds. Paraphrasing what Princess Anne is said to have exclaimed on being ordered out of her chauffeur driven Rolls-Royce by her wannabe kidnapper Ian Ball that dark night in March 1974, the chances of such are probably to be found in the land of “not bloody likely!”
Burgh Island in South Devon, where Agatha Christie wrote several novels and The Beatles stayed also, goes on sale for the staggering sum of £15 million
Described as “the best hotel west of The Ritz” by its current owner Giles Fuchs, a favourite South Devon bolthole of Agatha Christie has just come up for sale for £15 million. It was here that the ‘Queen of Crime’ had her own writer’s retreat and where also that she was inspired to pen both And Then There Were None and Evil Under The Sun.
Burgh Island is situated just 820-feet from the mainland and is approachable by foot at low tide and accessible by a sea tractor at high tide; it also has a helipad for those wishing to make a grand entrance. Though 3 hours from London Paddington by train, those that have visited in the past – amongst them the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, Sir Winston Churchill and J. M. W. Turner even – supposedly returned again and again captivated, like Christie, by its seclusion and beauty.
The 21-acre island – which has gone through several name changes itself and was once known as St Michael’s Island – was the inspiration for Christie’s fictional ‘Soldier Island’ in a novel titled Ten Little Niggers when it was first published in 1939. The 272-page book was subsequently retitled Ten Little Indians and then And Then There Were None because of concerns about offending – even prior to the arrival of ‘wokery’ and ‘cancel culture’ – the American market.
The strategy worked as to this day, the novel became both the best-selling crime and the best-selling mystery novel of all-time. Critics enthuse of what is a brilliantly warped yet rationally believable psychological thriller that follows the story of eight people invited to an isolated private island to meet their ultimate demise alongside their two caretaker hosts at a house party from hell. Unsurprisingly, since Christie produced a version for the stage in 1943, there have been more adaptations for that medium as well as for film, radio and television adaptations than of any of her other works.
A clear work of genius in both plot and the financial returns it generated for its author, And Then There Were None was actually structured around an 1869 minstrel song titled Ten Little Niggers by the British songwriter Frank Green. The rhyme – as published for these politically correct times where even future editions of Roald Dahl’s book will no longer feature the adjective ‘fat’ – reads:
Ten little Soldier Boys went out to dine; One choked his little self and then there were nine.
Nine little Soldier Boys sat up very late; One overslept himself and then there were eight.
Eight little Soldier Boys travelling in Devon; One said he’d stay there and then there were seven.
Seven little Soldier Boys chopping up sticks; One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.
Six little Soldier Boys playing with a hive; A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.
Five little Soldier Boys going in for law; One got in Chancery and then there were four.
Four little Soldier Boys going out to sea; A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.
Three little Soldier Boys walking in the zoo; A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
Two little Soldier Boys sitting in the sun; One got frizzled up and then there was one.
One little Soldier Boy left all alone; He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.
Whilst today’s visitors to the “comprehensively refurbished,” Grade II listed, 25-bedroom Burgh Island Hotel certainly are unlikely to face the unhappy endings of Christie’s ten unfortunates, they are able to enjoy “fine dining” at its two restaurants, and cocktails in its Palm Court bar. One can quite easily imagine Hercule Poirot sleuthing in or at the island’s 14th century pub, The Pilchard Inn. In addition, there is what is called the ‘Mermaid Pool’ – a naturally enclosed body of seawater where guests can swim or if, in the unlikely event they’d take a break from Dubai, perhaps ‘Wagatha Christie’ Coleen Rooney could witness Rebekah Vardy ‘Davy Jones-ing’ her mobile telephone for a second time even.
Of this “iconic landmark” – which a company ultimately controlled by Mr Fuchs paid around £5 million for in 2018 – selling agents Knight Frank enthused in their marketing material:
“The private island setting is virtually unique in the UK and the hotel, which has been fully restored, is one of the finest examples of working Art Deco architecture in Europe.”
“Burgh Island is a natural micro-environment, with wildlife to observe and cliff walks around the circumference. The sandy tidal beach on the eastern (mainland-facing) side is washed by the tide twice daily and so is always clean.”
Whilst the realty firm lauds total sales of in excess of £6 million for the year ending 2022, Agatha Christie actually best surmises why Mr Fuchs is seek to sell: “The best of an island is once you get there – you can’t go any farther… You’ve come to the end of things.” This week PlymouthLive revealed his company, Office Space in Town Limited (OSiT), “has debts of £130 million and is paying nearly £7 million in interests on its loans each year… [It] has borrowed huge sums and is relying on London property prices to remain stable in order to avoid breaching covenant terms which would mean loans having to be immediately repaid and potentially leading to the business going bust.”
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
Pictured Top – The island, hotel and The Pilchard Inn (top left); David Suchet as Poirot filmed ‘Evil Under The Sun’ there in 2001 (bottom left) and the island’s most famous visitor, Dame Agatha Christie DBE (right).
The island is being marketed by Knight Frank at a staggering price of £15 million after being sold last in 2018 for £5 million and prior for £2 million in 2001. The hotel includes 25 en-suite guest bedrooms and suites as well as the Ballroom Restaurant (64 covers), the Nettlefold Restaurant (72 covers), the Palm Court bar and lounge (42 covers) and The Pilchard Inn (35 internal and 114 external covers). There is also a billiards room, sauna and treatment room, a staff house with 9 bedrooms, a car park on the mainland with 18 spaces and a helipad. The property is offered on a freehold basis.Dame Agatha Christie DBE (1890 – 1976) remains to this day the world’s best-selling crime author. She penned 66 detective novels and 14 short story collections, as well as the world’s longest-running play, ‘The Mousetrap.’ Over a billion copies of her works in the English language and a billion in translation have been sold; most notable are ‘Murder on the Orient Express,’ ‘Death on the Nile,’ ‘The Murder at the Vicarage’ and ‘The A. B. C. Murders.’‘And Then There Were None’ began life as ‘Ten Little Niggers’ and via being ‘Ten Little Indians’ gained its present title to suit the American market. Christie claimed it was the most difficult of her books to write, but it is also one of her most popular – over 100 million copies have been sold and the work stands as the sixth best-selling title (any language, including reference works) of all-time.‘Evil Under The Sun’ (1931) – which features an investigation into the murder of a flirtatious but not liked woman who is murdered whilst on holiday in Devon –remains one of Christie’s most popular works. It has been adapted multiple times and became a feature film in 1982 with Peter Ustinov as Poirot. In 2001, David Suchet played the detective in a version with alterations including the addition of the characters of Hastings, Japp and Miss Lemon – none of whom appear in the original novel. A PC game version of the story has even been made and in 1999, John Moffat played Poirot for a BBC Radio 4 adaptation. Here, the cast are seen getting into Burgh Island’s famous sea-tractor during filming.Roguish antiques dealer Lovejoy (Ian McShane) and his eccentric sidekick Tinker (Dudley Sutton) brought a new era of drama to Burgh Island when they filmed an episode there titled ‘Somewhere – Over the Rainbow?’ It was first shown in October 1994 and featured them going there to save Tinker’s financially strapped sister and her wheelchair-bound husband (presented as owners of the hotel) from losing it to a greedy property developer. The key to the story is finding a treasure trove hidden there by a notorious smuggler centuries earlier.Self-made multi-millionaire Giles Fuchs is the current owner of Burgh Island. He began his career as an estate agent, claims to have invested more than £1 million renovating the hotel to turn into something that looks “pretty spectacular.” He doubled the number of staff on site, brought in Mark Mosimann, son of King Charles III’s favourite chef, Anton Mosimann, and also bought accommodation on the mainland for some of the hotel’s workers to live in. In July 2020, he described the hotel as “like a house party” and the island as “beautiful” in comments to ‘Great British Life’ magazine.
The ‘Famous Face’ Guest List – Burgh Island, Bigbury-on-Sea, South Devon, TQ7 4BG, United Kingdom (Formerly Known As St Michael’s Island, Borough Island And Bur Island)
Dancer and singer Josephine Baker.
Musicians The Beatles – The band stayed there before playing a concert in nearby Plymouth.
World speed record holder Malcolm Campbell.
Agatha Christie – The prolific author is described as having made the island “her second home” and wrote And Then There Were None (1939) and Evil Under The Sun (1941) there. A beach hut was built for her to use as a “writer’s retreat.”
Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill – The politician supposedly met with President Dwight Eisenhower there prior to D-Day.
Flamboyant actor, playwright and singer Noël Coward – He supposedly booked in for three days, but stayed for three weeks and clearly very much enjoyed A Room With A View.
Shipping heiress, socialite and muse Nancy Cunard.
Odeon cinema chain founder Oscar Deutsche – The businessman travelled to the island with his wife and companion, World War One fighter ace Sol Joseph, in the latter’s Ford V8 Pilot just before the outbreak of the Second World War.
Actor and singer-songwriter George Formby – He is said to have been viewed as “the cheeky northern chappie who proudly picknicked on Bigbury Beach” during his visit who “guests didn’t know what to make of.”
Aviator Amy Johnson.
Actress Gertrude Lawrence.
Designer of the Spitfire R. J. Mitchell.
Last Viceroy of India Lord Mountbatten of Burma.
Artist J. M. W. Turner – The painter was “cast ashore during rough weather and ‘with a pencil, clambered nearly to the summit of the island’ to sketch its wilderness.”
Renegade royals The Duke and Duchess of Windsor – Said to have travelled to the islands on “frequent occasions” with their aide-de-camp Major Edward ‘Fruity’ Metcalfe.
In 1926, Christie disappeared from her home in Berkshire for 11 days. Mayhem and a manhunt worthy of her murder mystery books followed. Surprisingly, she didn’t choose to head to Burgh Island, but maybe that would have made her too easy to find given her love of the place. The reason for her decision to ‘vanish’ remains hotly contested today and this indeed will likely forever remain in the realms of the debate over who Jack the Ripper was – a case forever unsolved.
The Dates, Developments & Numbers – Burgh Island’s History
May 2023 – Placed for sale for £15 million ($18.8 million, €17.2 million or درهم69 million) through agents Matthew Smith and Henry Jackson of Knight Frank.
Commenting of the sale, Giles Fuchs told Plymouth Live: “Ownership of the Burgh Island Hotel has provided me with a wonderful journey and given me the true privilege of restoring and enhancing one of the most treasured tourist assets in the UK over the past few years. What we have achieved is an immense source of pride for all of us who have been involved and, in our work, we have always tried to ensure that the hotel’s 1920s spirit remains just as vibrant in the 2020s.”
Speaking to The Caterer, Matthew Smith of Knight Frank added: “It is rare for a hotel of such character and heritage to come to the open market.
“In recent years the buildings have received considerable investment and operates as a thriving business which generated in excess of £6 million ($7.5 million, €6.9 million or درهم27.6 million) turnover in its most recent financial year.”
“This is a unique opportunity to acquire a truly iconic hotel that benefits from a number of value-add opportunities to further develop the trading performance, and will no doubt appeal to a global investor audience.”
February 2023 – Plymouth Live reported on rumours about the hotel being for sale for £9 million ($11.3 million, €10.3 million or درهم41.4 million) after an advertisement appeared on Knight Frank’s website for a “mystery property” matching the description of it. Responding at the time, Henry Jackson of Knight Frank stated: “Burgh Island is not on the market. I don’t know where these rumours come from. At the time, the PR firm representing the hotel, Sapience Communications, added: “We have nothing additional to add.”
December 2022 – Planning permission granted for 12 additional guest bedrooms and suites and 13 staff bedrooms by South Hams District Council. Approval was also granted for extension of two of the restaurants and a spa facility.
This redevelopment, BBC News recently reported, will cost £7 million to £10 million ($8.8 million to $12.5 million, €8 million to €11.5 million or درهم32.2 million to درهم45.9 million) and of it, Mr Fuchs observed:
“I’m not the man for that job because once you start that, you need to do the whole thing. It’s also a substantial amount of cash and I don’t want to find [it], thanks very much.”
“We’ve got a big business in London and I could divert funds but the hotel was always about a love story; it was saving something that had been around for years that our family fell in love with.
“To divert more funds doesn’t make any sense to us. We want to buy more buildings in London.”
“She’s a demanding mistress and I ended up getting more and more involved at the expense of my life and other businesses, [but] I’m really pleased we’ve turned it around.”
Autumn 2021 – Burgh Island Limited accounts valued the business at £9.5 million ($11.9 million, €10.9 million or درهم43.7 million). At the time, profits of £296,000 ($370,000, €339,000 or درهم1.4 million) were listed down from £336,000 ($420,000, €385,000 or درهم1.5 million) in 2020.
The company was reported as employing 63 people with a wage bill of £1.6 million ($2 million, €1.8 million or درهم7.4 million). It paid dividends of £2 million ($2.5 million, €2.3 million or درهم9.2 million).
Mid 2018 – Sold by then owners Deborah Clark and Tony Orchard to Office Space in Town Ltd (OSiT), a company ultimately controlled by a London based businessman named Giles Fuchs and his sister Nichola, for a sum of £5 million ($6.3 million, €X million or درهم23 million).
January 2018 – Valued by estate agents Savills at £8.64 million ($10.81 million, €9.90 million or درهم39.69 million).
2012 – Singer-songwriter Ben Howard named his EP after the island.
2003 – The then owners closed the public footpaths on the island; this move was reversed in 2006 other than the routes closest to the hotel.
2002 – Used as a location for the television adaptation of Agatha Christie’s Evil Under The Sun.
2001 – Sold for £2 million ($2.5 million, €2.3 million or درهم9.2 million).
2001 – Used as the location of a television adaptation of Evil Under The Sun starring David Suchet as Hercule Poirot.
2001 and 2008 – Used as the location for ITV’s GMTV show Inch-loss Island.
1994 – Used as the location for an episode of the BBC series Lovejoy titled ‘Somewhere – Over the Rainbow?’
1987 – Used as a location in the BBC adaptation of Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple: Nemesis.
1986 – Sold to a couple named Tony and Beatrice Porter, who “faithfully restored it to its former Art Deco glory.”
1965 – Used as a location for the film Catch Me If You Can.
1950s – Renovated, but instead of being used as a hotel became self-catering accommodation.
1939 – 1945 – Used by the RAF as a recovery centre for wounded RAF personnel. During this period, the top two floors of the main building suffered damaged after a direct hit by a bomb.
1927 – Sold to the filmmaker Archibald Nettlefold. He constructed a more substantial 25-room hotel in the Art Deco style in 1929 and after it became popular in the 1930s, added improvements and extensions in 1932 including ‘The Captain’s Cabin’ – it had been taken from HMS Ganges, a warship built in 1821.
1890s – Purchased by the music hall star George H. Chirgwin. He built a prefabricated wooden house to use for weekend parties.
14th century – The Pilchard Inn, the ‘local’ hostelry, is constructed circa 1336. It is believed to have begun life as guest lodgings for a monastery that possibly stood on the site of the current hotel.
Iron Age to Sub-Roman period – First settlers, tin traders, believed to have arrived.
More Images Of Burgh Island…
The approach to Burgh Island at low tide.Many people approach on foot; there are also a number of footpaths for visitors to enjoy once they get to the island.For guests of the hotel, there is a sea tractor they can travel on. Those that have experienced this wonderful contraption have commented on how much they have enjoyed the journey back and forth to and from the mainland.The gates to the hotel are suitably reflective of the Art Deco style of the property.The building is striking and one can certainly see what attracted the likes of Agatha Christie to it and the island.The Palm Court features a restored circular skylight. It is stunning and this is certainly a place where one can imagine such people as the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Nancy Cunard sipping martinis there of an evening whilst looking out to sea.One of two restaurants in the main hotel. The Nettlefold offers menus that are said to reflect the “uniquely wild island location.”The second, The Grand Ballroom, is a fine dining restaurant that is lauded as serving “award-winning food” in a setting that is styled around the “grandeur of a bygone era.”The guest rooms, such as ‘The Christie Room,’ have primarily been named after the famous faces who’ve stayed at the hotel in times past.The current owner has fully refurbished the property and furnished it with in-fitting Art Deco items.One of 25 bedrooms and suites at The Burgh Island Hotel; the majority enjoy superb views out to sea and to the South Devon countryside also.Another bedroom, this one with a private balcony.The Artist’s Studio is situated above The Pilchard Inn. It is a dog friendly room and just a few yards walk from the main Burgh Island Hotel building.Agatha’s Beach House has been described as “one of the sexiest hotel rooms in the UK” and is undoubtedly the ultimate place to stay on Burgh Island. It was built specifically for Agatha Christie in the 1930s and was where she penned both of her Burgh Island novels. It has a sitting room, outdoor hot tub, sun decks right onto the sea and includes a king sized bed, a double sofa bed and two single beds.The building from another angle.The sitting room of Agatha’s Beach House has the benefit of the most wonderful of aspects.It also has a woodburning stove.The Pilchard Inn was supposedly built in the 14th century as a lodging house for visitors to the monastery that is believed to have been on the island at that time. It is one of the oldest pubs in Devon.The bar.A traditional space perfect for drinks by the fire.Many of the rooms and suites at the Burgh Island Hotel, such as the Noël Coward suite, allow guests to experience the drama of the sea beyond.The ‘Mermaid Pool’ is a natural seawater pool in a “rugged” setting.Another view of this extremely unusual place to swim. Burgh Island is partly powered by solar panels.South Hams Council approved plans for additional rooms and additional staff accommodation at the Burgh Island Hotel in December 2022.The 21-acre island is just across the water from Bigbury-on-Sea.From a distance, one can genuinely see what attracted the great and the good to Burgh Island.
Extending to 3,632 square foot in total and on a plot of just under an acre, 221 Poplar Street is marketed by agents Carousel Realty as “gorgeous” and built in 1910. It was last sold in 2008 for just £42,900 ($60,000) and this time comes with “all furniture and antique furniture.”
Very much having the appearance of a ‘bargain basement budget’ version of “frankly my dear” Rhett Butler’s mansion in the 1939 movie adaptation of Margaret Mitchell’s 1936 novel, 221 Poplar Street’s wrap-around-porch has most definitely got ‘Marmite-like’ qualities. Of it, on Facebook, one commentator remarked: “It looks like a house in a cage” whilst another concluded: “I just love it.”
Situated in the Lake County area, where the militant ‘Night Riders of Reelfoot Lake’ tobacco farmers took on the monopolistic American Tobacco Company in the early 1900s and where between 1877 and 1950 thirteen black people were tragically lynched, the population makeup of the locality according to the 2000 census was 67% white and 31% black or African American.
Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – ‘Gone with the Wind’ was written by Margaret Mitchell in 1936. The fictional plantation house it centred upon, ‘Tara’, was of the antebellum style and in the novel was not nearly as palatial as the one depicted in the 1939 movie of the same name.
The Public’s Take…
“Is this the house from Dallas?”
“Looks like a mortuary.”
“Looks like a houseboat.”
“Looks like the Flying Nun!”
“Looks like a house in a cage.”
“Looks like Amazon just delivered it.”
“Reminds me of a ‘Tara’ recreation, circa 1960s-1970s.”
“Is there an actual house in there somewhere or is it just a porch?”
“What’s with the flat roof? You could land a helicopter on that thing.”
“That veranda is a bit much.”
“Does it come with the dog statue?”
“Can they still advertise antebellum [in the new ‘woke’ age]?”
“Poor photography. This is what happens when a realtor uses their phone for photos.”
The Numbers – 221 Poplar Street, Ridgely, Lake County, Tennessee, TN 38080, United States of America
March 2021 – For sale for £128,700 ($179,900, €150,100 or درهم660,700) or the equivalent of £36 per square foot ($50, €42 or درهم184 per square foot). Offered by realtor Karen Paschall of Carousel Realty of Dyer County at a sum 200% more than the December 2008 sale price.
December 2008 – Sold for £42,900 ($60,000, €50,000 or درهم220,400) or the equivalent of £12 per square foot ($17, €14 or درهم62 per square foot).
Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – The entrance hall to the property is somewhat plain. It could be a dentist’s waiting room area, in fact, though the faux bulldog adds a comedy touch.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – This “formal living room” has the look of more like something from the 1980s BBC comedy series ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ than the elegance of ‘Gone with the Wind.’ The crappy coffee table, doily pelmeting and fake flower arrangements mixed with an oversized telly box are anything but classy.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – The dining room is somewhat plainer in its styling.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – A mural on the wall is surprisingly classy. It’s not quite de Gournay, but it’s certainly far from objectionable. The chandelier, on the other hand, most certainly belongs in a skip.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – Another entertaining area complete with yet more fake shrubbery.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – The kitchen is basic but functional.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – One of four bedrooms. This one’s curtains, cushions and accompaniments have been carefully coordinated.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – Another is a little more ‘Holiday Inn on an expense account-esque.’Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – A more flattering view of the building from the side. If only they’d watered the lawn.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – From the side, the setting looks somewhat neglected.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – There is a three car garage.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – In addition, the 0.96 acre plot features an outbuilding also.Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget) – Two adjoining plots of land come as part of the property and the selling agents declare: “All furniture and antique furniture stays with the property.”
‘The Steeple Times’ chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and the 25 who won’t
Happy New Year to all our readers. Our ‘Heroes & Villains’ list was well received in 2019 and as we move into 2021, we join all celebrating ‘good riddance’ to the monstrous mess that was 2020.
Whilst many bombed, most especially Dominic Cummings and Donald Trump in the sphere of politics, for example, the likes of the heroic footballer Marcus Rashford and his campaign for free school meals for poor children showed that even a footballer can make a difference in a pandemic.
HEROES OF 2020
Obvious heroes of the year: Jacinda Ardern for being a leader capable of acting with good sense, Captain Sir Thomas Moore for raising £32 million for the NHS, Lord Sumption for arguing for lockdown liberty and Joe Wicks for keeping the nation healthy and turning down a £2 million deal with a supermarket.
WINNER – Bob Grace
Eternally cheerful groom Bob Grace led out his first winner after 38 years of racing at Royal Ascot in June when his trusty steed Battaash romped home in the King’s Stand. He raised the spirits of the nation and of this humble hero, one Twitter user concluded: “Bob is wonderful, be like Bob.”
Emily Bolton
One of “Britain’s most powerful civil rights lawyers,” Emily Bolton boldly fought for the likely wrongly convicted ‘Freshwater Five’ fisherman in 2020. She is tenacious and dedicated and a force for genuine good.
Steve Cotton
Alongside his cat named Hitler as his barman, “Britain’s grumpiest landlord” proved the spirit of Victor Meldrew was well and truly still alive in 2020. Summing up his approach to business and life in general, Steve Cotten remarked:
“I just make it up as I go along. I might not know how to run a pub but I know what’s wrong with every pub I’ve ever been in. There’s no landlord anywhere, nobody talks to each other. I involve the whole community – everyone knows it’s not my pub, it’s everybody’s pub… We are a dark and cold and miserable boozer – and that’s what people like about it.”
“They all know you can do what you want here, use it for what you want, come here on your own at any time of the day or night and help yourself to a tea or coffee. Everybody will talk to everybody… You can discuss any topic under the sun here, nothing is taboo… Everyone has a go serving behind the bar, we all have a laugh and everyone joins in… No one else talks to them like crap like I do.”
Bilkis Dadi (real name: Bilkis Bano)
This 82-year-old crusader and anti-Modi protester became the “voice of the marginalised” in India in 2020 and was escorted away from the farmers’ protest by the police. This heroine was included in Time magazine’s 100 most influential people of the year and remarked: “We will not stand for this division.”
Alfie Diaper
Ten-year-old “little star” Alfie Diaper recovered from a ruptured spleen in 2019 and “came back fighting” with riding successes in 2020. One Scottish reader of The Steeple Times quite rightly termed this pint-sized hero a “talented, spirited wee soul.”
Julia Donaldson
The author of The Gruffalo went down in literary history as the biggest seller of the last decade in any genre in 2020 and now sells a book about every 11 seconds. JK Rowling did not even make the top five.
Hollie Doyle
Whilst she was ridiculously robbed of the BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2020 and came third, Hollie Doyle amazingly scored 151 wins in 2020. She also broke another record in becoming the first woman to win five races on a card at Windsor and our money is on her to become a hero of 2021 too.
Alain Ducasse
In January, Alain Ducasse spoke complete sense is echoing Iris Apfel’s “more is more and less is a bore” mantra. This culinary remarked: “I’ve noted [the Dry January] trend, but I don’t want to see or hear of it, I am opposed to it… “[I want to] rid consumers of their inhibitions [with regard to wine drinking].”
Lord Fowler
The Lord Speaker of the House of Lords quite rightly argued “there are too many Lords” in December. He added: “As we have just seen, its recommendations can be overridden by No 10. The result is that a prime minister has the power on his or her own to add peers to a house of parliament that can make and, within limits, unmake laws. Is this what the public expect in the third decade of the 21st century?”
Bryony Frost
Rising-star jockey Bryony Frost became the first woman ever to win the King George VI at Kempton on Boxing Day. This true heroine of the year is undoubtedly going to break many other glass ceilings in 2021.
Lady Glenconner
The former lady-in-waiting to the late Princess Margaret declared of coronavirus: ““I’ve been through the second world war and lived with someone with Aids at the beginning [of the Aids crisis]. I’m not scared of a little virus, you know.”
Agnes Gund (AKA ‘Aggie’)
A “put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is” philanthropist, Agnes Gund was described as “the last good rich person” by the New York Times in 2018 and in 2020 used money from the sale of one the most valuable artworks from her collection, a Roy Lichtenstein worth £120 million, to fund US prison reform. She has also given more than 900 significant works to the Museum of Modern Art in New York in the last 50 years.
Anders Holch Povlsen
Asos billionaire Anders Holch Povlsen led the way in rewilding in 2020. He also paid back the government £300,000 of furlough money during the year voluntarily and thus made a mockery of the likes of Sir Richard Branson and Sir Philip Green.
Patrick Hutchinson
Compassionate “fitness buff” Patrick Hutchinson carried an injured far-right racist protestor to his safety in spite of being himself black in June. Sensibly, he remarked: “Living with the image of a man being beaten to death isn’t something I could stomach. How do the police do that? They just seemed to be standing there watching it and filming with their selfie sticks. One of them said ‘well done’ to me, but I couldn’t really comprehend it.”
Jeremy King
The co-owner of The Wolseley rightly slammed Boris Johnson repeatedly during 2020. He rightly described lockdown Tier 2 coronavirus restrictions as “another knee jerk, ineffective, window-dressing, butt-covering initiative that hasn’t been thought through properly.”
Abdulkareem Musa Adam
This child refugee from a war zone in Darfur shone at Royal Ascot 2020. Accompanied by Shadn, this 22-year-old’s story was described by Clare Balding as “[showing] the incredible power of sport to bring people together and help them to heal, even after the most appalling suffering.”
Dolly Parton
In 2020, Dolly Parton gave £733,000 to fund a COVID-19 vaccine. The Guardian rightly said of her: “She understands that money is something you do, rather than something you have.”
Sister Norma Pimentel
Described as the “pope’s favourite nun,” Sister Norma Pimentel featured on Time magazine’s “100 most influential people of 2020” list. She has supported over 100,000 people seeking refuge at the border between Texas and Mexico and of her Julián Castro, former United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, remarked: “Sister Pimentel will keep changing the world, one act of kindness at a time.”
Dr. Ugur Sahin and Dr. Özlem Türeci
The “dream team” husband-and-wife team behind the leading vaccine to solve COVID-19 were amongst the ultimate healthcare heroes of 2020.
MacKenzie Scott
The ex-wife of Jeff Bezos gave £4.3 billion of her fortune to charity during 2020. In doing so, she became one of the biggest single donors to charity in a single year ever.
Santosh Shah
He didn’t win, but the unlikely star of MasterChef Professionals 2020 was this Nepali chef. He was eternally positive and widely lauded as the “people’s champion.”
Shirley Sherwood OBE
Britain’s leading botanist, after losing her tycoon husband at the age of 87, has become an unlikely star of Facebook with her videos sharing positivity and her passion for plants. She has rightly been described as the “driving force behind a revival of interest in botanical art.”
Micheline Stephen
A martini drinking 90-year-old and Dame Maggie Smith-lookalike, Micheline Stephen fought off a burglar and told him: “You’re a wee shite” in 2020.
‘Window Twerky’
Spotted on both the Fulham Road and Kings in Chelsea, this unknown woman amused many with her maniac moves during Lockdown 1.0. Her Fifty Shades of Crazy antics during that Strictly insane time were batshit bonkers but brilliant.
Tobias Weller (AKA ‘Captain Tobias’)
This heroic 9-year-old with cerebral palsy and autism raised over £150,000 for a children’s hospital during Lockdown 1.0 by completing marathons. He remarked: “It feels amazing to have completed both marathons. I feel fantastic. Thank you for clapping and cheering me every step of the way. You are all awesome. I love doing challenges so who knows what will be around the next corner?”
VILLAINS OF 2020
Previous list makers, but repeat offenders included Sir Philip Green, Sir Richard Branson, Tim Martin, Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson, Darren Grimes, David Starkey, Sir Cliff Richard, Prince Andrew, Matt Hancock, Ghislaine Maxwell, Larysa Switlyk, Liz Hurley, Owen Jones, Richard Madeley, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Michael Barrymore, Vivienne Westwood, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump and Ferne McCann, but our winner just had to be:
WINNER – Priti Patel
When she wasn’t “minglin’” and “movin’” and misusing the English language, Priti Patel was angling for a return to the death penalty in the UK in 2020. Asked what kept her going in 2020, when even Emily Thornberry declared “gin,” the most awful Home Secretary in generations ridiculously responded: “Showing the perpetrators of crime that they have nowhere to hide and joining our police on early morning raids – reminding the criminals that we’re coming after them.”
James Abbott-Thompson
The son of calculator lacking Diane Abbott MP appeared at Westminster Magistrates’ Court in January after “spitting at a police officer and biting his colleague.” He’d previously exposed himself on a hospital ward and had crystal meth delivered to his mother’s £1.2 million home.
Victoria Baker Harber and Inigo Philbrick
Though ‘Mini Madoff’ Inigo Philbrick was deservedly was dragged to the clink by the FBI in June and remains in custody, his latest ‘baby mama,’ Victoria Baker Harber, couldn’t keep her almightily large trap shut. Shortly afterwards, she turned on one of his many victims, Kenny Schacter, and crudely tweeted: “Are you crying about cash or cock?”
Brian Basham
Bombastic PR peddler Brian Basham didn’t manage to get the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell out of jail in 2020. In response he angrily ranted to his friends at the Daily Mail and called Finding Ghislaine podcast host John Sweeney a drunk and someone he “despises.”
Scott Borgerson (AKA ‘Scott Marshall’ and ‘Mr Ghislaine Maxwell’)
This tech company CEO was revealed to be Ghislaine Maxwell’s “secret husband” in December. He then tried and thankfully failed to use their millions to get her out on bail in time for Christmas.
Benjamin Clark
After attacking the Winston Churchill statue in Parliament Square in September, son of a pastor Benjamin Clark deservedly got fined. His solicitor’s attempts to try to defend him quite rightly fell on deaf ears.
Lizzie Cundy
Desperate-and-will-do-anything-for-attention Lizzie Cundy, 52, turned coronavirus into a photo opportunity in a bikini made out of face masks in October. For her, nothing isn’t worth using for self-publicity.
Ellen DeGeneres
The wheels fell off for goody two shoes Ellen DeGeneres when she was shown to be anything but nice. Her attempt at an apology for allowing workplace bullying was mocked as “underwhelming.”
Alan Dershowitz
Having defended multiple rapist Harvey Weinstein in 2018, Alan Dershowitz went one stage further in 2020 when he leapt to the defence of Ghislaine Maxwell and trashed the reputations of the victims of Jeffrey Epstein.
Tamara Ecclestone Rutland (AKA ‘Miss Piggy’)
Banshee-like billionairess Tamara Ecclestone Rutland appeared on ITV1’s This Morning in April. This daughter of a man whom once disgustingly described Hitler as someone who “was able to get things done” pestered people far poorer than her to donate to the NHS. Of this shameless attention seeker, a Twitter user remarked: “No offence but this feature on #ThisMorning is embarrassing. Trying to raise £1m but they have a family net worth of almost £4bn? Good publicity stunt though…”
Charlie Elphicke and Natalie Elphicke OBE MP
Ex-MP turned sexual predator and “Naughty Tory” Charlie Elphicke and his replacement MP wife Natalie got caught out after urging fellow parliamentarians to pester the judiciary after he got sent down. She was also very nasty about immigrants.
Laurence Fox
Actor Laurence Fox morphed from a housewives favourite and telly box treasure into a tedious twerp in 2020. His Reclaim Party became a laughing stock online and his decision to tattoo “freedom” and “space” on his hands was mocked unsurprisingly.
Mark Francois MP
This tedious Tory was pilloried online when he “disappeared” after an MP was accused of rape. He returned just-in-time to bang on and bore about the brilliance of Brexit in December. We can only hope he’ll “disappear” again in 2021.
Art fraudster Angela Gulbenkian attempted to flee to Portugal to escape going on trial in June. She was quite rightly extradited back to the UK and victims including Percy Bass of Walton Street should finally get justice against this blonde bimbo in 2021.
Julia Hartley-Brewer (AKA ‘Julia Heartless-Brouhaha’)
She’s awful every year without a doubt and will never be a hero to anyone, but in ignorantly defending a right-wing thug who’d relieved himself on a memorial to murdered constable Keith Palmer, this tedious twerp made a total prat of herself. In response, one Twitter user asked her: “Why do you as a woman think it is ok for a bloke to expose himself by getting his dick out and urinating in a public place?”
Michael Heaver
In blubbering like a baby after Nigel Farage failed to make the New Year’s Honours List, “milk bottle white” Westmonster co-owner Michael Heaver again showed himself as just one thing: “A remarkably unpleasant child.”
Lady Victoria Hervey (AKA ‘Toff Totty Vicky’)
Accurately described by the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson as “unpleasant” and “a right snob,” dimwitted dope Lady Victoria Hervey defended Prince Andrew in 2019 and then stated: “Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter]” in 2020 on her Instagram page. The world hope she remains silent in 2021.
Eamonn Holmes
Crackpot conspiracy theorist Eamonn Holmes morphed into the David Icke of 2020 when he declared that the “mainstream media’ was hiding a link between 5G technology and coronavirus. Him and his wife were unsurprisingly subsequently dropped from their weekly presenting roles on ITV1’s This Morning.
Dr. Walter Palmer (AKA ‘The Driller Killer’)
Having slayed ‘Cecil the Lion’ in 2015, deranged dentist Dr. Walter Palmer returned to his barbaric ways when he massacred an endangered ram in July 2020. Though he claims to be “looking forward” to his next “adventure,” one can only hope that this monster meets a sticky end in 2021.
Stephanie Pratt (AKA ‘Shady Steph’)
One-time crystal meth addict demanded shoplifters be shot in May 2020 on Twitter. Unfortunately for her, the public were on hand to remind her she’d been arrested for stealing a £1,000 of clothing from Neiman Marcus in May 2006.
Phillip Schofield
Aside from “claiming to have been murdered in a past life because of a debt” in October, Phillip Schofield attempted to rival Sir Cliff Richard and launched quite possibly the most loathed collection of boxed wines ever in September. What a plonker!
Carrie Symonds (AKA ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ and ‘The Duchess of Downing Street’)
Boris Johnson’s wine chucking puppet mistress proved herself to be a total busybody in 2020. Despite not being elected herself, that the PM’s latest ‘baby mama’ got her own cronies into Downing Street during the year was a total disgrace.
Alexandra Tolstoy
Miserable moaning Minnie Alexandra Tolstoy bleated about not being able to live on £10,000 per week before getting £606,000 for a few of her possessions in a Christie’s auction in November. Loopy to her core, she remarked: “We’re just surviving.”
Dominic West
Aside from being caught kissing actress Lily James in October, actor Dominic West got caught breaching social distancing rules on a shoot in Wiltshire in December. He also claimed to have “jumped for joy” when he found out Donald Trump had coronavirus.
Heroes & Villains 2020 – Lizzie Cundy (left) and Inigo Philbrick and Victoria Baker Harber (right) – Examples of the worst people of 2020 without a doubt.
THOSE WHO’LL BE MISSED
Sadly, many great people were lost in 2020 and amongst those most widely mentioned were Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Honor Blackman, Chadwick Boseman, Kobe Bryant, Jack Charlton, Sir Sean Connery, Des O’Connor, Kirk Douglas, George Floyd, Dame Olivia de Havilland, Eddie Van Haylen, Irrfan Khan, Dame Vera Lynn, Diego Maradona, David Prowse, Gene Reynolds, Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sachs, Jackie Stallone, Larry Tesler and Bill Withers.
WINNER – John le Carré (born David Cornwell)
Having sensibly summed up Donald Trump’s election and the banality of Brexit, novelist John le Carré died from pneumonia aged 89 in December. Of his passing, his agent Johnny Geller remarked: “[He was] an undisputed giant of English literature. He defined the cold war era and fearlessly spoke truth to power in the decades that followed… We will not see his like again.”
Michael Angelis
Liverpudlian actor Michael Angelis brought happiness to many. He was the narrator of Thomas & Friends for 21 years and also appeared in Bergerac and Z-Cars. He died in May aged 76.
Lady Elizabeth Anson CVO (married named Lady Elizabeth Shakerley)
This first cousin-once-removed of Queen Elizabeth II was “discreet and professional.” She observed that “the very rich, the very idle, the very busy and the ones who simply haven’t a clue what to do” didn’t have the skills to organise events, so set up a party planning business. She died in November aged 79.
Sir Terence Conran
Multi-skilled and described as “the most passionate man in Britain when it comes to design,” Sir Terence Conran died in September aged 88. He once remarked: “It’s thrilling as a designer when you see something you’ve designed and built actually being used. Seeing a shop filled with people, or a restaurant with people smiling away happily, it’s like, gosh, all my dreams have come true.”
Alan Davidson
This legendary newspaper photographer captured stars at play from 1969 until his death in March aged 70. Of him, the Daily Mail’s Richard Kay remarked: “No event was off limits to Alan.”
Sir Harold Evans
Described in an obituary in the Guardian as “the most admired newspaper of his generation,” Sir Harold Evans died aged 92 in September. He will be best remembered for exposing Robert Maxwell as a fraudster and Kim Philby as a traitor. In doing so, he became the first editor to order a D-notice and summing him up, here was someone who’ll be remembered as someone “loved by his staff.”
Lynn Faulds Wood
The wife of fellow television presenter John Stapleton was best known for co-hosting the BBC’s Watchdog with him. She died after a stroke in April aged 72.
Derek Fowlds
Affable actor Derek Fowlds was best known for his roles in Yes Minister and The Basil Brush Show. He died as a result of complications from pneumonia in January aged 82.
Desmond Guinness
Brewing heir Desmond Guinness was an author and expert on Georgian architecture. He will be remembered as a “great dandy of his generation” and saved countless buildings from the wrecking balls of property developers. He died in August aged 88.
John Hays
Having doubled his workforce and saved thousands of jobs when him and his wife bought Thomas Cook in 2019, “high street hero” John Hays died suddenly at his offices in November aged 71. He considered his workers “family” and laughed off people comparing him to a “country bumpkin.”
Shere Hite (born Shirley Gregory)
Twice married sex educator and feminist Shere Hite renounced her US citizenship in 1995, was briefly stateless and then became German. She posed in the nude for Playboy whilst at university and died of corticobasal degeneration in September aged 77.
Thomas Hoare (AKA ‘Mad Mike Hoare’)
This fervently anti-communist British mercenary leader died in February having led campaigns in the Congo and a failed “package-holiday coup” in the Seychelles. Of him, his son remarked: “Mike Hoare lived by the philosophy that you get more out of life by living dangerously, so it is all the more remarkable that he lived more than 100 years.”
Tony Hooper
A founder member of the Strawbs, singer and guitarist Tony Hooper died in December aged 81. He left the band after argument over whether they should be more folk or rock in 1972 and became an educational author and book jacket designer in the 1990s.
Knut Kloster
With a name that sounded like a brand of breakfast cereal, “visionary” cruise line king Knut Kloster died in September aged 91. He was best known for co-founding the hugely successful Norweigan Caribbean Line in 1966, but his attempt to build a “world peace boat” eventually came to nothing.
Sir Stirling Moss OBE
“Who do you think you are? Stirling Moss?” will go down in history as a much-quoted punchline of policemen, but this racing driver will be remembered for two other quotes also: “If God had meant for us to walk, why did he give us feet that fit car pedals?” and “There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well: drive and make love.” He died in April aged 90 having survived falling down the lift shaft of his Mayfair home in 2010.
Geoffrey Palmer OBE
As Time Goes By star Geoffrey Palmer died in November aged 93. Of him, his co-star Dame Judi Dench concluded: “Geoffrey was master of comedy.”
Julia Peatling
This Stockwell based medical secretary loved a gin and tonic at PJ’s on Fulham Road and her Downton Abbey star dog, Poppy.
Margarita Pracatan (born Margarita Figueroa)
Cuban novelty singer Margarita Pracatan, who died in June in New York aged 89, was best-known for performing on Clive James’ television show Saturday Night Clive in the 1990s. Of her, he remarked: “She never lets the words or melody get in her way. She is us, without the fear of failure.”
Carl Reiner
Born in The Bronx, actor, author and comedian Carl Reiner joined Twitter at the ripe old age of 90 in 2012. Two days before he passed in June, he tweeted: “Nothing pleases me more than knowing that I have lived the best life possible by having met and marrying the gifted Estelle (Stella) Lebost – who partnered with me in bringing Rob, Annie & Lucas Reiner into to this needy & evolving world.”
Michael Russell
“Publisher, wit and author” Michael Russell was the creator of the spoof memoirs of J. R. Hartley, he of Yellow Pages fame. He also published Richard Spitzy’s How We Squandered the Reich – a book that described Hitler as being “like a cross between a head waiter and a chimney sweep.”
James Sherwood
Buccaneering American businessman James Sherwood revived the Orient Express, built up a chain of hotels and created the Sea Containers empire. He died in May aged 86 having once been stranded at 16,000 feet in the Andes with Princess Michael of Kent after his helicopter had to make an emergency landing.
Barbara Smoker
This “promoter of many causes now take for granted” died in April. Barbara Smoker will be best remembered for saying: “Don’t always be obedient. Obedience is overrated. You’ve got to work out your morality for yourself, not do everything you’re told. Obedience can be more of a vice than a virtue.”
Alexandra Sykes (born Alexandra Sotomayer)
The third wife of businessman Mark Sykes was vivacious and bubbly. “Wise and kind” Alexandra Sykes loved to keep fit and at a party, hers was always the liveliest voice in the room.
Helen Taylor-Thompson OBE
After having worked as a spy in occupied France in the Second World War as part of Churchill’s “secret army,” Helen Taylor-Thompson co-founded Europe’s first AIDS hospice. She died in September aged 96.
Alexander Thynn, 7th Marquess of Bath
Polygamous Lord Bath was as famed for his ‘wifelets’ as he was for his erotically styled paintings. He played an aristocrat in the 1987 video for the Pet Shop Boys song ‘Rent’ and died of COVID-19 in April aged 87.
The late Margarita Pracatan is exactly the kind of person we could do with now.
THOSE WHO WON’T BE MISSED
WINNER – Peter Sutcliffe (AKA ‘The Yorkshire Ripper’)
This evil HGV driver claimed he’d “heard voices that ordered him to kill prostitutes while working as a gravedigger” as an excuse for slaughtering at least 13 women and attempting to murder 7 more between 1975 and 1980. He died as a result of complications from COVID-19 in November.
Tariq Aziz
Saddam Hussein’s principal spokesman died in June aged 79. He had been found guilty of “deliberate murder and crimes against humanity” in October 2010.
Donato Bilancia (AKA ‘The Liguria Monster’ and ‘The Killer on the Trains’)
This Italian serial killer murdered 17 people between October 1997 and April 1998 on the Italian Riviera. A compulsive gambler with a passionate hatred for night watchmen and sex workers, Bilancia died of COVID-19 in Due Palazzi prison in Padua in December.
George Blake
This remorseless British MI6 officer turned double agent for Soviet Union believed he was not a traitor and once remarked: “To betray, you first have to belong. I never belonged.” He died on Boxing Day having caused the deaths of at least 40 British agents in Russia as a result of his treachery.
Alfred Bourgeois
This trucker molested and murdered his 2-year-old daughter and then joked about it. He was given a lethal injection of pentobarbital in December at a prison in Terre Haute, Indiana.
Anthony Casso (AKA ‘Gaspipe’)
An American mobster and serial killer considered a “homicidal maniac.” He confessed involvement in upto 36 murders and was imprisoned for 455 years in 1998. Casso died from complications related to COVID-19 in December.
Brian Daniels
A bus driver turned paedophile serial rapist, Daniels was approaching the end of an 18-year sentence for attacks on four young girls in May when it was discovered he had further victims. He died in prison in October having remarked: “I did something against kids and I was punished. I don’t deserve to live. My final punishment will be death.”
Roy Den Hollander
This American lawyer shot himself in July after being made a suspect in the murder of fellow lawyer Marc Angelucci in California and the son of Judge Salas in New Jersey earlier that month. He had been a member of the National Coalition for Men, but after being kicked out called them “wimps and whiners.”
Terry Dicks (AKA ‘Phil’)
Possibly the most bigoted ex-Conservative MP ever, Dicks termed Nelson Mandela a “black terrorist” and ridiculed a Somali refugee family buying water in a supermarket by saying “where they come from they’re happy to drink out of puddles.” He referenced himself as a “spastic” due to his cerebal palsy and said of an Observer journalist sentenced to death by his hero Saddam Hussein: “He deserved to be hanged.” He loathed gay people and was nicknamed ‘Phil’ – for “elevating Philistinism to an art form.”
Vikas Dubey
An Indian gangster and history-sheeter turned murderer, Dubey was “killed” in July after “the police vehicle carrying him met with an accident and overturned.” He snatched a pistol from a policeman trying to fix a flat tyre, tried to run away and was then shot by another officer.
Scott Erskine
This American serial killer and rapist was responsible for the death of at least 3 child victims. He died in July after contracting COVID-19 in July.
Lonnie Franklin (AKA ‘The Grim Sleeper’)
This LA born serial killer committed at least 10 murders between 1984 and 2007. The majority of his victims were black women.
Dustin Honken
This serial killer was responsible for the murders of 3 adults and 2 children in Iowa in 1993. Before being executed in July, his last words were: “Hail Mary, Mother of God, pray for me.”
William LeCroy
This former soldier murdered a woman he believed was a witch in Georgia in 2001. He never showed any remorse for his actions and his last words were to his “spiritual adviser.” He remarked: “Sister Battista is about to receive in the postal service my last statement.”
Daniel Lewis Lee
This American white supremacist murdered a gun dealer and his family in Arkansas in 1996. He claimed to be innocent until the end.
Samuel Little
An American serial killer responsible for the deaths of at least 60 women, Little claimed to have killed as many as 93 between 1971 and 1997. He died in a Los Angeles County area hospital in December.
John Lowe (AKA ‘Keepers Cottage Stud Murderer’)
This puppy farm owner fatally shot his partner and her daughter in February 2014. He claimed he wanted them “put down” and himself died in a hospice in August.
Ba Ag Moussa
A Malian militant and jihadist, Moussa was shot and killed by French Armed Forces in November.
Roy Norris (AKA ‘The Toolbox Killer’)
Along with Lawrence Bittaker, Norris kidnapped, raped, tortured 5 teenage girls in 1979 in Southern California with pliers, ice picks and sledgehammers. He died of natural causes in February.
Abel Ochoa
High on crack, Ochoa killed five members of his family and tried to justify it due to being “intoxicated and in a delirium.” His final words were: “I would like to thank God, my dad, my Lord Jesus savior for saving me and changing my life. I want to apologise to my in-laws for causing all this emotional pain. I love y’all and consider y’all my sisters I never had. I want to thank you for forgiving me.”
Gordon Pinkerton
An RAF serviceman turned child abuser, Pinkerton sexually abused 6 young girls between 1963 and 2011. He was jailed in 2013 and died of coronavirus in prison in April.
Wesley Ira Purkey (AKA ‘The Claw Hammer Killer’)
Executed by lethal injection in July, Purkey raped and killed a teenager in 1998 and beat an 80-year-old to death with a claw hammer later that year.
Omar Sadiq (AKA ‘Roger’)
This Glasgow gangster and racial hatred inciter was killed by two of his associates in September. A floral tribute at the location of his shooting read: “Absolutely devastated. There was a better plan for you.”
Cathy Smith
This Canadian backup singer injected Saturday Night Live’s John Belushi with a fatal dose of heroin and cocaine in 1982. She died in August and had received a further drugs conviction in 1991 after serving 15 months between December 1986 and March 1988 for involuntary manslaughter.
Howie Winter
This mobster and leader of the Winter Hill Gang was implicated in a number of slayings in the 1960s and 1970s, but never charged. Of his demise in November aged 91, Thomas Foley, a retired Massachusetts State Police colonel, remarked: “It’s the end of a legend, but not a good legend… He is a guy that actually got away with murder.”
Pictured top: Winning Villain of 2020 Priti Patel and winning Hero of 2020 Bob Grace.
As grotesque Ghislaine Maxwell is deservedly denied bail, PR peddler Brian Basham bizarrely drones on about China and “show trials” whilst author Don Winslow references the pressure now placed on Donald Trump
Illustrating ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ deviant daughter was actually subject to “conditions [that] set her apart from general population inmates, not to mention other inmates in protective custody,” the New York Times reported that federal prosecutors “contended Ms. Maxwell didn’t have it so bad.”
Rather than being left to face rats, as the grotesque grubber has groaned, they added: “She is released from her cell for 13 hours a day. She has her own shower, her own phone and exclusive use of two computers – even her own TV.”
In response, as per usual, the somewhat sympathetic DailyMail.com – an operation controlled by one-time Maxwell associate Geordie Greig – gave the mucky madam’s PR peddler and coordinator of ‘Operation Get Ghislaine Out’ Brian Basham space to drone on about the “injustice” of the decision. Predictably, he went into a diatribe on her behalf and ranted:
“It’s grotesque and against the laws of natural justice. It’s just wrong to deny somebody the chance to properly prepare for their defense.”
“She’s going to be locked up in prison for months now. The judge has given in to the lynch mob, that’s what this is.”
“Ghislaine will be devastated. Her birthday was on Christmas Day and she was hoping to be out by then to be with her family.”
“This seems like a show trial, it’s ridiculous. I hesitate to draw comparisons with China but that’s how it feels.”
Elsewhere on Twitter last night, award-winning crime and mystery novelist Don Winslow told his 557,500 followers:
“A judge rejected Ghislaine Maxwell’s $28.5 million bail package today.”
“This puts A LOT of pressure on Donald Trump as January 20th approaches.”
“Maxwell has receipts. Lots and lots of receipts.”
“Watch this case closely.”
Pictured top: Ghislaine Maxwell with her late mother, Betty, and a photograph of her decidedly deviant dead daddy, Robert.
‘Friend of Geordie’ (FOG) Ghislaine – ‘Daily Mail’ editor Geordie Greig with grotesque grubber Ghislaine Maxwell. The pair have been photographed together up-close-and-personal on a number of occasions, so any denial of a past friendship by Greig would be spurious.Grotesque Ghislaine Grubbily Groans – Novelist and screenwriter Don Winslow – creator of the series featuring fictional private detective Neal Carey – shared his take on Ghislaine Maxwell being denied bail on Twitter late Monday. He quite rightly remarked on the dilemma this places Donald Trump in given him and his potentially trafficked wife’s connections to both Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell also.
Tiny French pied à terre on the Côte d’Azur once owned by the ‘Maigret’ author Georges Simenon for sale for just £107,000; he described the property as his ‘house of happiness’
Whilst some of the supposed ‘bargain’ properties we’ve featured recently – such as this £15,000 Edwardian ‘fixer upper’ house in Buffalo, Kansas – are in obscure parts of America and might seem a little off-piste and quirky, an especially quaint £107,000 Côte d’Azur pied à terre will no doubt appeal to literary lovers.
Bought by the Maigret author Georges Simenon (1903 – 1989) in 1956 as a birthday present for his second wife, Denyse Ouimet, and featuring usable space extending to 272.2 square foot, the property includes a reception room, kitchen, bathroom and mezzanine sleeping area. A separate entrance leads to a second bedroom and bathroom.
Offered for sale last year for £161,000, this petite pad in Cagnes-sur-Mer has recently been reduced in price by 34% to £107,00. The selling agents are Emmanuelle Minassian International Real Estate – whose offices are situated directly next door.
The Numbers – 98 Montée de la Bourgade, Cagnes-sur-Mer, Haut-de-Cagnes, Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur (PACA), 06800, France
September 2020 – Reduced in price to £107,000 ($142,000, €120,000 or درهم522,000) through estate agents Emmanuelle Minassian International Real Estate. The cost to fix the roof has been estimated at £12,110 ($16,060, €13,550 or درهم58,975) by the selling agents.
November 2019 – Offered for sale for £161,000 ($213,000, €180,000 or درهم781,000) through estate agents Emmanuelle Minassian International Real Estate.
Pictured top: The former Cagnes-sur-Mer home of Georges Simeon – which he is said to have described as his “house of happiness” – and the acclaimed author himself. The Belgian born writer published over 500 novels and was capable of writing 60 to 80 pages per day. He had at least two dozen pseudonyms and around 550 million copies of his works have been printed.
Georges Simenon’s ‘House of Happiness’ – The reception room features an open fireplace and tiled flooring.Georges Simenon’s ‘House of Happiness’ – Georges Simeon somehow managed to live at 98 montée de la Bourgade with his third wife and their three children in the 1950s in spite of it being quite beyond tiny. His initial ‘S’ is still to be found on in the ironmongery on the external staircase railings of the building.Georges Simenon’s ‘House of Happiness’ – 98 Montée de la Bourgade is situated on a picture perfect side street in Cagnes-sur-Mer. Amongst attractions of the town are the Hippodrome de la Côte d’Azur, a well-known horse racing track, and a 2.5-mile long beach.
Hotel legend Derek Picot’s novel ‘The Hotel Detective and his Lover’ is a perfect easy read for those wishing to enjoy quirky hotel land
Derek Picot is a legend in the world of hoteliers. He has charm and a brilliant eye for detail and now he’s written a novel, The Hotel Detective and his Lover.
Available on Amazon for £10.50 since the 9th August, ex head honcho at London’s sadly now under renovation Carlton Tower, Picot’s second foray into print – following on from, Hotel Reservations, which was very much a deserved hit in its own right – tells the tale of an internal detective at a fictional hotel on The Strand.
Complete with characters drawn from his own real-life experiences in the industry and quite a bit of action in the suites, this is a book that is fun and it is one that makes for a perfectly delightful read. You’ll find skullduggery, deviousness and dining on its pages and you’ll marvel at a world that has sadly long since been eroded by multi-national chain blandness of Hiltons and Intercontinentals.
In the days of dullness of coronavirus lockdowns, we need to remember the fun times of the past and in Picot’s work, you’ll find something refreshing. Here is a book that has, as the author’s restaurateur friend Philip Lawless commented to The Steeple Times, “had names changed to protect the innocent, yet not has lost the authenticity of something of Agatha Christie’s At Bertram’s Hotel.”
‘The Hotel Detective and his Lover’ is set in a fictional hotel on The Strand; The Savoy, of course, is the only real hotel of any note on that street, but Picot’s creation is an utterly fascinating concoction of intrigue.
Petronella Wyatt is spot on in quoting Oscar Wilde on morality in art; “books are either well written or badly written,” they are not “moral or immoral”
In the preface to his philosophical novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde wrote: “There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are either well written or badly written. That is all.”
Shared on Twitter by the witty journalist and author Petronella Wyatt at a time when ludicrously Gone With the Wind is under attack even, this is a timely reminder that works of art should be subjected to aesthetic judgment rather than moral judgment.
The bosses of the BBC and Netflix would do well to remember such.
Pictured top:Ben Barnes starred as Dorian Gray in the 2009 British fantasy-horror adaptation of 1890 novel ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray.’
Petronella Wyatt’s tweet pointed out: “Oscar Wilde, who knew about persecution, said: ‘There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are either well written or badly written. That is all.’ ‘Gone With the Wind,’ published in 1936, won the Pulitzer Prize.’
Travel writer Sarah Tucker shares news of her latest novella – it’s timely and its titled ‘The Redundant Travel Journalist’
My book The Redundant Travel Journalist has just come out. I would say “just in time for the holidays and in all good book shops” – but, as I don’t know which shops will be open and whether anyone will be taking anything vaguely resembling a holiday, I become aware of how many social constructs surround us. Holidays are one of them. The short novel is a dystopian tale of what travel will be like post-virus, although there may never be a post-virus.
It started off as fiction, but now I’m not so sure such is the boundary between what we think could never happen and what actually occurs. The travel industry has been most vulnerable to this surreal quality of wistful creatively about envisaging a normal, or a new normal, when really the industry is well off the cliff and currently walking on air, spin and hope. We dare not look down because we know, deep down, we have fallen, and are just waiting for the thud or a branch to break the fall.
Travel editors are in overdrive about what travel will be like, although their pages are thinning as there is no advertising and no one is going anywhere (well they are, they are just doing it illegally and in their own private jets).
There are so many webinars with very cross looking travel editors being signposted on Instagram and papers are asking writers in these unprecedented times to not write in these unprecedented times, and also drop all intention of writing virtual travel stories.
They are quote: “Fucking sick of them.” Travel experts are contradicting financial experts about asking for refunds from tour operators and the idea of staycations fills people with apathy and also incredulity (will hotels be open, expensive, can I afford them and then there’s the hygiene issues).
So, I thought I would write a ‘non-fiction’ tale of what it will be like post virus. (‘non-fiction’ being ‘nothing is intentionally made up’). Although research out this week (“What day is it?” I hear you ask) has just shown that all research and advice about what travel will be like during a crisis (the 2008 financial one, for example) never comes true. So, there you have it: There has been research to disprove the value of research.
Travel has become even more bonkers and surreal than it usually is. The dream destination has turned into exactly that, the journey of a lifetime, could be the last journey you take and getting way from the crowds is more of a necessity and less of a casual ask.
But, the Brits have always been ones to take their lives in their hands and travel whilst other nationalities stay put. There just may not be the airlines to fly with, or hotels to stay in. If airlines crash, there will be no use for airports, in which case, they could turn them into socially distancing schools, where children can learn and have the sense they are going somewhere metaphorically even if they aren’t. Or can’t. Like the rest though, I live in hope.
Sarah Tucker is an award-winning travel journalist, novelist, producer and broadcaster. She has edited, produced and presented a number of radio and TV series’ as well as presenting reports for the BBC’s ‘Holiday Programme’ and anchoring ‘I Want That House’ on ITV. She is the author of best-selling novels ‘The Playground Mafia,’ ‘The Battle for Big School,’ ‘The Last Year of Being Single’ and ‘The Control Freak Chronicles.’
To buy a copy of ‘The Redundant Travel Journalist’ by Sarah Tucker for £6.99 through Amazon, click here. Tucker has also recently written ‘The Witches of Richmond’ – it is also available on Amazon for £6.99.
“When you can travel, where will you go?” – Italy’s foreign minister Luigi Di Maio yesterday promised “foreign tourists will be welcome this summer” according to ‘The Telegraph.’
1978 Piaggio Ape ‘limousine’ used by the controversial Countess Agusta – a woman who either fell or was pushed to her death from her home above Portofino in 2001 – to be auctioned
On 8th January 2001, “shop assistant turned model turned multi-millionairess many times over turned fugitive” (via a stretch in what American’s so pleasantly term ‘pokey’) Countess Francesca Vacca Agusta “disappeared” from the terrace of her Ligurian seaside home. The series of events that preceded and followed could have featured in an Agatha Christie novel or a Sherlock Holmes story.
Graffagni saw off the business tycoon’s first wife, Pupetta Maresca, after a torrid affair and following their marriage in 1974, amongst other things, became chatelaine of a 40-room property complete with a helipad. It had been built in 1870 by George Herbert, 4th Earl of Carnarvon – whose death was attributed by amongst others Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to the “curse of King Tut” – as his holiday home and during the 1970s and 1980s guests to “jet-set parties” given at the house by the socialite Countess were ferried back and forth from their dock in Portofino harbour in a custom built 1978 Piaggio Ape coachbuilt ‘limousine.’ This vehicle, described as a “perfect yacht tender” with its opulently patterned interior and passenger-driver intercom, is now for sale.
Countess Francesca Agusta (née Francesca Vacca Graffagni, 29th October 1942 – 8th January 2001). It is most surprising that the late Dominick Dunne did not make a television programme about her life and demise.Villa Altachiara (alternatively known as ‘Villa Alta Chiara’ or ‘Villa Carnarvon’) was one of Countess Agusta’s homes from the 1960s until her death in 2001; it was originally built as a holiday home for Lord Carnarvon (26th June 1866 – 5th April 1923) – the financier of Howard Carter’s explorations of Egypt’s Valley of the Kings that led to the discovery of Tutankhamen’s tomb. The Carnarvon family hosted many guests during their ownership, amongst them Brooke Astor and Evelyn Waugh.
Count Agusta died in 1989 without divorcing his second wife in spite of separating from her in 1985. At that time, in addition to Villa Altachiara, he had given her four apartments in Milan, an estate in Cuernavaca, Mexico, family jewellery and an undisclosed cash sum. With his demise, she came into yet further fortune.
This by-then “very wealthy woman” hit the headlines again in 1994 when she and her new lover, a “former Portofino playboy politician [named] Maurizio Raggio,” were discovered to have been part of a corruption scandal involving Bettino Craxi, the Prime Minister of Italy from 1983 to 1987. Before police could apprehend them to charge them with amongst other things money laundering, the pair fled to Mexico and lived on her estate until 1997 as fugitives. During this period, the Countess reportedly attempted suicide at least once.
Upon her return to Italy, the Countess plea-bargained and spent just three months in Milan’s Opera prison for her crimes in spite of receiving a two-year jail sentence. After “some further time under house arrest” in the Villa Altachiara, the “retired” gadabout then took up with a Mexican, Tirso ‘Tito’ Chazaro (also known as ‘Tirso Di Ricardo’ and ‘Rafael Tirso Roncado Gonzales’), and lived in the style of Miss Havisham. She was rarely seen in public and having become dependent on drink and drugs, was known for her erratic behaviour and temper.
“Considerably the worse for wear and muttering she would not be coming back” on the night of 8th January 2001, the Countess supposedly told her lover and two others present that she was going for a swim, but either slipped on wet leaves or was pushed off a veranda into the sea. A search followed, but after the only traces found were the Countess’s dressing gown on the seabed close to the Villa Altachiara and her slippers on nearby rocks, press reports suggested she had either committed suicide or, given her past form, staged an “elaborate disappearing act.”
Countess Agusta’s badly decomposed body washed up three weeks later on a beach at Toulon on the French Riviera. Her feet had been gnawed off by fish, her skull was smashed and her face was disfigured. She could only be identified by two rings she was wearing and her exact cause of death could thus not be determined.
As an autopsy found no trace of water in her lungs, she plainly did not die by drowning, but in in 2004 the Countess’s brother, Domenico Vacca Graffagni, was quoted in the Independent as stating: “The [original] inquiry was closed in a hasty fashion because of absence of proof, relying too readily on ‘reasonable doubt’ … It was manslaughter. He [Chazaro] was always beating her. He didn’t mean to kill her. But that evening things didn’t go the way the Carabinieri said, my sister was not drunk and she did not slip on wet leaves on the veranda.”
Adding further to speculation, much earlier, the Countess’s step-son, racing driver and team owner Rocky Agusta (1950 – 2018), told Corriere della Sera in 2001: “Francesca was a beautiful woman, simpatica, very rich… People have written that she inherited 500bn lire, but if it had been only 50 or 25, who commits suicide with 25bn lire set aside? … The people who were around her certainly did not help her… It’s not up to me to formulate accusations, but Francesca was not alone that night. She was very upset. She should have been put to bed. Instead, they let her go out into a dark, wet, cold night, not even dressed.”
In due course, the last of many wills left by Countess Agusta revealed Tirso Chazaro to be her sole beneficiary, but after this was challenged in court by her former lover, Maurizio Raggio, the pair split the legacy – reported to be worth as much as £165 million ($201 million, €186 million or درهم738 million) according to the Guardian in 2001 – sixty-forty between them.
In 2009, the Villa Altachiara was offered for sale initially for £44 million ($54 million, €50 million or درهم198 million) and then for £30 million ($37 million, €34 million or درهم135 million) in 2014. It supposedly eventually sold for less than half that sum to a Russian billionaire a number of years later in spite of an estate agent remarking: “Some say the spirit of Countess Francesca Vacca Agusta still walks the estate looking for her husband and you can hear her shouting for him on the wind.”
An estimate of £37,000 to £49,000 ($45,000 to $60,000, €42,000 to €55,000 or درهم165,000 to درهم220,000) for the Countess’s Piaggio Ape. Described as “sweet” and “[anything but] an Italian tuk-tuk” by RideApart, the one-off private taxi will be auctioned as part of the forthcoming RM Sotheby’s ‘Driving Into Summer’ 21st to 29th May 2020 online sale. One can only hope it finds a happier home than it encountered at that of its former mistress.
