As man-pestering Mark Menzies, the MP they have supported since 2008, is exposed for yet more sordid sexual shenanigans, the Fylde Conservative Association yet again prove themselves a bunch of nutty nincompoops by sharing tweets about “vile degenerates” making “sexually explicit” comments
The Fylde Conservative Association clearly didn’t give two hoots when the MP they have repeatedly supported since his selection as a candidate in 2008, Mark Menzies, got accused of shady sexual shenanigans with a 19-year-old Brazilian male hooker named Rogerio Santos in 2014.
At that time, when Santos alleged pugnacious politician Menzies asked him to “buy ‘the poor man’s cocaine’ methedrone” and “have sex with him,” then Councillor Brenda Ackers brazenly barracked: “He has the total support of myself and two other members of the management team, they both support Mark also. [Members will be] very upset, both on Mark’s behalf and the fact that we like things to run smoothly in Fylde.”
This very same gaggle of gaga grannies that Ackers headed also didn’t give two hoots when this Scottish born Roman Catholic faced a police investigation for allegedly getting a dog pissed-off-its-skull in 2015. Equally, they didn’t give two hoots that this menace-to-men also faced further police questioning for “brawling” with a friend in 2015.
Later that year, the very same membership of the Fylde Conservative Association – when Menzies was subsequently proven “just” to have stood on and taken pictures whilst yet another of his so-called “friends” getting the aforementioned pooch pissed to the point of “poisoned” and “intoxicated” – clearly chose to show not an ounce of moral backbone. They again selected this raging rotten-to-his-core ratbag in 2017 and 2019.
Now, as mucky Menzies faces allegations that he misused party funds to “pay some bad people” in yet another sexual scandal involving multiple men, the Fylde Conservative Association have yet again swept the issue-in-hand under the carpet. On Tuesday, on their Twitter feed, this bunch of brazen buffoons reposted a tweet by Rishi Sunak.
It read: “This government is cracking down on the vile degenerates who make sexually explicit ‘deepfakes.’ We’re introducing a new law to ban the creation of these distressing and abusing images… Making a sexually explicit ‘deepfake’ image without consent is to become a new offence, with those convicted facing a criminal record and an unlimited fine.”
According to The Guardian: “The source said Menzies had gone to the man’s flat, before going with another man to a second address, where he continued drinking. People at the address falsely claimed he had been sick and demanded £5,000 for cleaning up and other expenses, according to this account.”
“The source close to Menzies told The Times he paid the money because he was afraid of what would happen if he refused, but had insufficient funds in his own savings. They claimed he offered to repay the sum, but that local Tories who controlled the campaign funds said he did not need to.”
Whatever next for the Fylde Conservative Association? A party fundraiser for ‘Not-So-Dishy-Rishi’ down the local male brothel in Lytham St Annes?
The Fylde Conservative Association (FCA) showed no sense of shame for their support since 2008 of Mark Menzies – a mouse not a man capable of waking old ladies at 3.15am to demand help in paying off “bad people” he’d supposedly hooked up with via gay dating websites. Instead, on the very day Menzies was exposed by ‘The Times’ – and after they clearly would have been approached for comment – they opted to retweet a missive about Rishi Sunak’s government “cracking down on the vile degenerates who make sexually explicit ‘deepfakes’” and which mentioned a “new law to ban the creation of these distressing and offensive images.” Perhaps, the concept of those in glass houses and stones had passed the gaga grannies and grandpas of Fylde that form the FCA by, but maybe they should have dealt with their own local degenerate, Mark Menzies, at an earlier date given his previous form with Brazilian rent boys, photographing friends poisoning dogs and getting them drunk and “brawling” with supposed friends.Forced to resign the Conservative whip on 17th April 2024, Mark Menzies has previous form having been the subject of front page about his activities with young men on several occasions. One is left asking: “What on earth was it about this scandal prone scrounger that made the Fylde Conservative Association to continue to select him as their parliamentary candidate four times from 2008 onwards? Could they really not find someone with more decency and dignity than this degenerate deadbeat?”Mucky menace and former Marks & Spencer employee Menzies tweeted on the 12th April about “concerns” about St Annes beach. He failed to address the fact there have bene far more significant “concerns” about his personal behaviour for months. In an “exclusive” in which she “broke her silence” on Thursday 18th April 2024, the ‘Mirror’ reported that Katie Fieldhouse, 78, a former Lady of Mayoress of Fylde, said she received a call from Menzies at 3.15am on 1st December 2023, “in which he allegedly asked for £5,000 as he was locked in a flat with some ‘bad people’ … and branded his behaviour unacceptable.” Ms Fieldhouse claimed she “refused and called his office manager who later stumped up the sum, which had risen to £6,500. She was later reimbursed from a campaign fund paid for by donors, the paper reported… Ms Fieldhouse told the ‘Mirror’ that she later contacted the Tory party, in January to express her ‘concerns’ about Mr Menzies. ‘I spoke to the chief whip on the 3rd of January and told him my concerns’ she said. ‘All the things that had happened accumulated in my head. I came to the conclusion that something had to be done about it because I have a great fondness for my constituency. Ms Fieldhouse would not comment when asked if she thought the MP should resign. But she said: ‘I put my faith in the Conservative Party to deal with Mr Menzies.’ She continued: ‘I am a devout Conservative, all my life, and also a devout Christian, and I cannot accept his behaviour. It is very upsetting.’ Ms Fieldhouse said she was approached by ‘The Times’ after speaking to the chief whip. And she added: ‘I have read the article in ‘The Times.’ Everything in it is true.’” Ms Fieldhouse had previously not been named in ‘The Times’ article by senior investigations reporter Billy Kenber whilst Menzies responded: “I strongly dispute the allegations put to me. I have fully complied with all the rules for declarations. As there is an investigation ongoing I will not be commenting further.”Brenda Ackers – who defended her chum Mark Menzies in 2015 by stating: “He has the total support of myself and two other members of the management team, they both support Mark also. [Members will be] very upset, both on Mark’s behalf and the fact that we like things to run smoothly in Fylde” – herself has form. In September 2013, according to Blackpool rag ‘The Gazette,’ Ms Ackers was “reprimanded by the mayor” for refusing to apologise for making “disrespectful remarks.” Speaking to the paper, she raged: “I don’t know why the mayor interrupted me because nothing that I said was in any way objectionable.” In turn “rebuking her,” another councillor stated: “When the mayor stands, the councillor sits down” as she was “greeted with heckles of ‘sit down, shut up.”The Twitter handle of the repeatedly disgraced MP’s former constituency association has not even updated to reflect the fact that he is no longer a Conservative Member of Parliament.
Matthew Steeples explores theconundrum of how to describe cheese made from goat’s milk and shares the eclectic thoughts of everyone from Susie Dent to Alan Rusbridger, Christine Hamilton, Jay Rayner, Matthew Jukes, Mic Wright, Nigella Lawson, Matthew Wright, Tom Parker Bowles and Samantha Markle on goat cheese
At the River Café in Hammersmith, the menu references serving Rabiola Rochetta cheese from Piemonte that is made with “goat’s milk” to get around a conundrum that has “got the goat” of many over the years.
London’s most traditional establishments, amongst them The Ritz and Wiltons, avoid the pasturised matter completely. They respectively just list “artisan cheeses” and “farmhouse cheeses” on their menus, whilst the self-declared “old fashioned restaurateur” James Chiavarini, proprietor of one of J. K. Rowling’s favourite haunts in Kensington, Il Portico, told me: “I haven’t the faintest idea to be honest!” when I enquired as to his thoughts on a cheese that is rather like Marmite in being both loved and loathed.
That matter? The debate over whether a restaurant or grocery store should list cheese made from goat’s milk should as “goat cheese” or whether it should be “goat’s cheese” or “goats cheese” or “goats’ cheese” even. Also described by the French as “chèvre,” one respondent to my questioning argued that it should, in fact – like “soured” rather than “sour” cream – be written-up as “goated.”
Detested by multiple respondents to my inquistive questioning including charity fundraising supremo Lorraine Burns, LBC Weekend Breakfast presenter Matthew Wright and TalkTV Crime Suspect host Peter Bleksley, this contentious cheese made with milk supplied by goats attracted the attention of Channel 4’s Countdown’s ‘Dictionary Corner’ guru Susie Dent. Her synopsis? “Oxford Dictionaries give both goat cheese and goat’s cheese. I usually go for the latter.”
Though other views (and plenty of brands with differing approaches) follow below, ‘La Dent’ – as The Observer’s restaurant critic Jay Rayner referenced this “God in these matters” – will now, excuse the pun, be the “goat-to” Queen of “goat cheese.” This cheesy conundrum can now finally be put out to pasture allowing grammar pedants to return to waging war on Waterstones (which should surely have always remained Waterstone’s).
In Broadstairs, lovers of the product made with goat’s milk can enjoy a bring-and-join-in ‘Cheeseboard Tuesday’ gathering weekly every Tuesday from 2pm until 5pm hosted by the delightfully delectable Sam Hawkins at The Magnet, 37 Albion Street, Broadstairs, Kent, CT10 ENE. Other cheese varieties, condiments and bread will be available.
The legendary lexicographer Susie Dent – “That woman in Dictionary Corner” – was first to respond to my query about the GOAT/GOATS/GOAT’S/GOATS’ conundrum. The author of ‘Words From The Heart’ remarked: “Oxford Dictionaries give both goat cheese and goat’s cheese! I usually go for the latter.”Notable food critic for ‘The Observer’ and famous face on the telly box Jay Rayner responded to the same question via email. He observed: “I won’t deny: it’s one I hesitate over. So much so that I couldn’t immediately tell you what I put in the copy I file. So I had a look at a few of the reviews in which I’ve mentioned it and it’s clear our house style is ‘goat’s cheese’. Just as it would be ‘cow’s milk’. That said I’ve had a Quick Look online and my conclusion is that, as with so much in language, there is no definitive answer. You could make a plausible argument for three of the four. I’m just not sure you could argue for ‘goats cheese’ without any possessive. That said La Dent is god in these matters and I’ll happily defer to her.”Fellow food critic Tom Parker Bowles, also on Twitter, argued: “I’d prefer goat’s cheese. As it is the cheese of a goat. Although obviously the end product is the result of many goats’ milk. So could be either. Goats cheese, on the other hand, is plain wrong.”The Cambridge Dictionary, giving examples of usage, declared the noun “goat cheese (also goat’s cheese)” to mean “cheese made from goat’s milk, usually soft and white.” Elsewhere, the Milking Goat Association share of goats in Britain: “The UK dairy goat industry is made up of 40-45 thousand goats producing just less than 34 million litres of milk commercially. This compares to a UK dairy herd of 1.9 million cows producing just less than 15 billion litres of cows’ milk (2014/5). Though significant, goat dairy remains a specialist market with goat milk representing less than 0.2% of the volume of cows’ milk produced in the UK. Goat cheese (UK and imported) is now in the top 10 cheeses consumed in the UK. Goats’ milk produced in the UK is primarily sold as butter, cheese and yogurt.” Clearly both luminaries in their respective fields favour the use of GOAT in regard to the cheese produced using goat’s milk.Author and screenwriter Samantha Markle takes the view that it is GOAT’S CHEESE and argued: “Goat’s milk. I’ve never heard anyone say ‘I don’t drink cow milk.’ I have only heard ‘cow’s milk’ (possessive). It logically follows that since cheese is made from milk, we would say goat’s milk/goat’s cheese… I think.”Former editor of ‘The Guardian’ turned editor of ‘Prospect’ Alan Rusbridger hesitatingly observed: “I’ve always thought goats’ cheese. But I may be wrong.”Equally, legendary British battleaxe and media personality Christine Hamilton shared: “I have no idea, but let’s go for goat’s cheese or goats’ cheese – it must be one of those!”Nigella Lawson stated: “I generally go for goat’s cheese, though I feel goat cheese is also ok.”Taking an entirely different view was Charlie Baker of ‘The Fence’ magazine. He opted for GOATS’ over all the other options.Doyenne in raising funds for cancer charities Lorraine Burns from Broadstairs, Kent responded and made clear that she’d solved the matter for once and for all: “What a contentious little question indeed. However, I believe that goat’s cheese is correct – the cheese produced using the milk of goats and I won’t stand for any other usage. Please inform all other recipients of the email, there is no need to respond, the issue is resolved.”Writer, media critic and ‘Conquest of the Useless’ newsletter creator Mic Wright was his usually to the point self. He stated: “It’s goat’s cheese or goat cheese. Never goats cheese. And chèvre if you’re fancy or French.”Colin Steeples asked: “Is it not about how many goats produced the milk for the cheese but what kind of animal produced it? Goat’s cheese for me.”Ex Scotland Yard detective turned TalkTV ‘Crime Suspect’ host and author Peter Bleksley didn’t have a view on the apostrophe, but he did have a clear view on the cheese: “It’s rank. You’re welcome.”Former 7/7 counter-terror Scotland Yard detective turned investigator and author of ‘Finding Suzy’ David Videcette shared: “It’s not goat’s cheese when it’s on my plate, moreover by the time it has arrived in my plate it’s more likely to be goats cheese. But when I order it’s goat cheese, obviously.” Some may find that analysis a little cryptic.Restaurateur James Chiavarini – owner of the much loved Il Portico on Kensington High Street and the adjoining more recently opened La Palombe –was more honest than most. He declared: “I haven’t the faintest idea to be honest!”The Grammar Monster website favours “goat’s” over other options.Screenwriter turned ‘Byline Times’ founder and executive editor Peter Jukes just believes the cheese to be “great… however you spell it.”Respected wine writer Matthew Jukes went against the grain of the dictionaries and favours GOATS’ cheese.Restaurateur and bon viveur Rex Leyland – former proprietor of Royal Hospital Road, Chelsea institution Foxtrot Oscar – was more interested in the smell of the cheese. He suggested “cheese from goats” as an alternative description.Joining those believing the dairy product to be “disgusting” was LBC radio host Matthew Wright. He shared: “Anything that smells like the cloven-hoofed beasties turns my stomach.”
Nine notably different examples of labelling on packaging of cheese made from goat’s milk… Illustration of utterly no consistency
Tesco opt for GOATS’ cheese and were featured in an August 2013 article in ‘The Guardian’ by David Marsh. Included in their ‘Mind Your Language’ section and titled: “If you can’t use an apostrophe, you don’t know your shit,” Marsh said of the retailing giant: “Tesco, Britain’s biggest supermarket, is in a class of its own when it comes to apostrophe abuse. You’d think that someone among its half a million employees would know better than to put up signs saying ‘Kids toys.’ It gets worse in the clothing department: a simple ‘Kids’ seems fair enough, but the signs nearby are a scarcely credible ‘Mens’ and ‘Womens.’ The meaning may be clear but the sloppiness demonstrated by this insult to the intelligence of its customers makes you wonder what else the company gets wrong. Sell-by dates? Prices? I wonder how far I’d get with a job application to Tesco if I wrote something like this: ‘Id really like a job at Tescos, I think its a great company, it sell’s everything from kids toys to Mens. p.s I also like the BOGOF’s.’”Waitrose & Partners opt instead for GOAT’S and market their “British” offering as “mild, creamy and fresh tasting.”Marks & Spencer also opt for GOAT’S and currently sell an “English soft” that is “mild and creamy” that is “crafted at the Lubborn Creamery, Somerset.”Sainsbury’s, however, follow Tesco and go for GOATS’ also with the “sweet and mild” cheese made in Somerset.Another product offered online, “Capricorn” has no apostrophe at all. It is simply GOATS cheese.A firm named Olympus simply opt for GOAT as labelling on the packaging of their “traditional” offering.On Twitter, @AdzWhitcombe shared an image with me of a goat with a pipe on the packaging of a “smoked goat cheese” called “The Smokin’ Goat.” He argued: “It would be bad for pregnant women to eat this particular cheese judging by the cover image.”Another brand, Melis, to promote its “white soft cheese in brine” that is supposedly “a wonderful cheese with a rich taste and mild goat’s [note the apostrophe] aroma” as GOATS MILK CHEESE. Confusion clearly reigns at this particular firm when it comes to apostrophes.Wildly Delicious opt for a more artisan look and follow the Oxford and Cambridge Dictionaries suggestion with plain old GOAT. They do also reference their cheese as “chèvre” however and thus keep both the Brits and French satisfied.
The varied thoughts of the Twitterati on this contentiously cheesy topic….
What was Martin Frizell thinking in allowing carbonara munching Sarah, Duchess of York to guest edit and co-host ‘This Morning’ and what was he thinking in pairing her up with the creepy Christian crooner and “fat shamer” Sir Cliff Richard?
Frizzell – whom was deservedly condemned by John Nicholson MP as “outrageously dismissive and flippant on camera about [the] immensely serious issue” of the Phillip Schofield scandal back in June during a hearing of the Culture, Media and Sport Committee – is definitely a chap with skin thicker than an aubergine. However, in inviting “needy and greedy” Sarah, Duchess of York to guest edit and co-host ITV1’s flagship morning show, he most certainly scored yet another own goal and most definitely caused another nail to be banged into this tacky show’s coffin.
Featuring a segment in which ‘Feckless Fergie’ apparently decided a winner of Iron Chef UK in 2010 named Marcus Bean should cook her carbonara – a rather simple to make dish she claimed she’d never actually seen being made before – here was an example of a car crash calamity that lasted an excruciating two-and-a-half hours. In it, the live-in ex-wife of non-sweaty ‘Randy’ Prince Andrew laughed like a hyena and pranced like a show pony; she had no idea what she was doing and quite frankly brought shame on her royal relatives.
Whilst one should ask if this tawdry twerp – whom, during a phone-in segment about relationships, crassly advised ‘Suzanne from Newcastle’ to start wearing “saucy underwear sets” to spice up her and her hubby’s somewhat lacking sex lives – had sought out the advice of His Majesty King Charles’s advisors before agreeing to a television ‘outing’ of this type, another question has to be: “How much was this mother of two princesses paid for what could be the first of a series of “co-host” appearances?”
“It’s your show, I’ll be the fluff” giggled the former Sarah Ferguson as the show started. By the end, she was lauded as having “totally undersold [herself]” by a somewhat soppy Dermot O’Leary, but her final guest of choosing just truly illustrated what a prized pillock this wastrel wazzock genuinely, really genuinely is.
Whilst some – myself included in the past – have pointed out that this apologist for a Pizza Express loving prince known best for hanging around with despots and dictators and for paying around £12 million to a woman he allegedly did not have sexual relations often exhibits childish ways in her way of thinking, her description of Devil Woman singer ‘Cliffy’ was yet another in a long line of outings of her appallingly bad judgment.
After bigging-up the one-time mate of the croaked child abuser Rolf Harris as “humble and kind,” the “Peter Pan of Pop” turned nasty. He spoke of how he hadn’t wanted to be photographed with Elvis Presley because “he’d put on weight… If I’m having him hanging on my refrigerator, of course he’s got to look good” and did so in front of a self-professed ‘larger’ lady, Alison Hammond. Then “put in his place,” as the MailOnline’s Laura Parkin referenced the response to the museli muncher, Hammond quipped back: “You should never have put it off just because they’re a little bit heavier… Is that why you don’t want me at your house?” Bizarrely, Fergie didn’t bat an eyelid.
On Monday 20th November on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Is it appropriate for non-sweaty Prince Andrew’s live-in ex-wife Sarah, Duchess of York to lower herself to ‘co-hosting’ funeral queue-jumper’s favourite show ‘This Morning’?” He added the hahtags: #ThisMorning #ITV #Fergie #DuchessOfYork #PrinceAndrew #royal #royalty #outrage #disgrace and of the four available responses, 43.7% favoured the answer: “No – Shameful; Tacky” whilst 33.7% opted for “No – Shows ITV’s decline.” Just 14.2% felt: “Yes – She’s a fun choice” whilst only 8.4% supported: “Yes – She needs the wonga.”On the same day, ‘The Mirror’ asked: “Do you think Cliff Richard’s comments on ‘This Morning’ were inappropriate?” 83% of respondents unsurprisingly answered: “Yes, they were.”
Feckless Fergie’s ‘This Morning’ F**k-up… The Main Moments…
To her This Morning co-hosts Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary on Monday 20th November 2023: “We’re on. I’m terrified. It’s your show, I’ll be the fluff.”
Appropriately given her penchant for wonga-wonga (especially from the likes of the late, not-so-great Jeffrey Epstein), whilst spinning a wheel in a game named Spin to Win: “Show me the money.”
Asked by Dermot O’Leary: “Can you just give us a little insight into what Christmas dinner is like with the royal family?” the normally turbo-tongued Fergie answered: “Beans on toast.”
Asked about her relationships with people: “I prefer animals. It’s all about kindness.”
“I think I’ve been around the block. It’s cool to be here, but cool people don’t say it’s cool.”
Of what she gets upto in relationships: “I used to leave love notes…. I love a little note in the pocket. I love the moment where he suddenly or she suddenly puts their hand in the pocket and sees a love note. I used to do that – put them in the squash shoes.”
During a phone-in about relationships whilst playing at being an agony aunt: “Ask me just about anything, ring in about love, relationships, hard times.” (ITV clearly did not allow anyone to phone in about ‘Randy’ Prince Andrew nor the many times ‘Feckless Fergie’ has dragged the royal family’s ‘good name’ through the mire).
Illustrating that she hasn’t a clue how to boil a bowl of pasta, to her carbonara cook, Marcus Bean: “You’re very good looking… Do people really listen to him whilst in the bath?”
“I really love that you have shown me how to [cook carbonara] and that is the first time I have seen it done.”
To a caller, Suzanne from Newcastle, wanting relationship advice: “Yah. Get a lovely saucy underwear set from your chest of drawers, blow dry the hair and take him out on a treat… It’s the element of surprise and it will bring the magic back into your relationship… It needs to be more treats that he’s lost for words.”
“You’ve got this Suzanne and I’m so proud of you calling today and being so brave to ring us. Well done you. Now, get that sexy underwear out.”
To other callers, clearly not realising the ongoing cost of living crisis for most viewers: “There need to be more treats. Treats. Treats. Treats… Lovely, lovely restaurants and lovely hotels.”
To a caller whose husband likes climbing: “You could say: Darling, I’ve booked your favourite place to climb, I will just be, you know, just waiting when you come back, you go climbing and when you come back we can have a lovely weekend with the saucy underwear on… Rekindle.”
Of Artificial Intelligence (AI): “I don’t think anyone watching should be frightened of AI. Maybe, progressing, going forward, it can be a useful tool.”
Of looking after rehomed dogs: “Do you shave the chest first if they are ‘vairy’ hairy?”
Of creepy Christian crooner Sir Cliff Richard: “I’m lost for words and that’s just very unlike me… You are a musical treasure… You’re incredible, I can’t get over it, it’s just incredible… All those hip moves.”
“You really are as humble and as kind as you always have been. How do you do that?” (He pompously answered: “For me, it comes easily.”
To the tawdry presenters of ITV1’s Loose Women whilst Gloria Hunniford danced like a fool just before the end of her first This Morning guest edit and co-host session: “I feel like I’m back home again.”
The Media Response…
Stuart Heritage, The Guardian (1 star out of 5): “Sarah Ferguson’s love tips make a doomed show even more disastrous… Can the Duchess of York present TV? Not one bit. Does the Autocue short-circuit her brain? Oh yes. Will she save this sinking ship? Never?”
“Is Sarah Ferguson an experienced television presenter? No she is not. Does she look as if she has ever watched a single episode of daytime television in her life? Also no. Can she read full sentences? On the basis of her performance today, it’s debatable. Did the whole thing stink of a publicity stunt designed purely to drown out the show’s obvious death rattle? God, yes.”
“Clearly, the heroes here are Hammond and O’Leary, two exceptionally safe pairs of hands, who managed to guide Ferguson through the show in the same way you help a drunk friend safely through their front door. The presenters were perfect foils to the duchess throughout and this stupid attention-seeking act would have fallen apart in seconds without them.”
“Let’s be clear, getting Ferguson to host This Morning was a very silly idea. None of it made for good, or even very competent, television. But it did give you the same sort of thrill that you got at school whenever a dog broke through the fence and started running around the playing field. For a show that’s in as much trouble as This Morning is, it just about counts as a victory.”
Tina Campbell for The Standard: “Viewers have been left unimpressed by Sarah, Duchess of York’s ‘painful’ co-hosting debut.”
Jan Moir, Daily Mail: “Sarah, Duchess of York, guest-edited and co-presented a special edition of This Morning (ITV) on Monday. I want to be honest. I want to be kind. Yet when it comes to the Duchess in a live television situation, these two virtues become mutually and volcanically exclusive.”
“From 10am until the show ended, 150 white-knuckle minutes later, the Ferg launching herself on to daytime television, like Icarus in reverse thrust, was every bit as marvelously terrible as I had hoped.”
“Hard to pick a highlight amongst the word-mangling, corgi-wrangling spaghetti cook-in and the interview with Sir Cliff Richard (Fergie: ‘You really are as humble and as kind as you always have been, how do you do that?’ Sir Cliff: ‘For me, it comes easily.’ But her brief turn as a phone-in agony aunt was exquisite.”
“‘Basically she has been around the block and she is here to help,’ said host Dermot O’Leary, making Fergie sound like an obliging pony with a dodgy past and the foamy fetlocks to match – and to be fair, that is not a million miles from the truth.”
“In her green outfit and pixie boots, she looked like Mad Mother Elf, a panto character in search of a plot, which also kind of sums up her life to date… Still, this may have been the most exciting episode of This Morning in the show’s history.”
The Twitter Response…
“Sorry, I tuned out… I haven’t unclenched my fists since 10am.”
“The whole Sarah Ferguson thing is so random and actually quite awkward to watch.”
“Any comment about ‘Mr Humble’ fat shaming Elvis, making Alison having to comment with no support from you [Sarah, Duchess of York] or Dermot? You’ve had terrible things said about your weight, but still groveled to that vile man [Sir Cliff Richard]. State of him.”
“How weird that This Morning got rid of John Leslie, Fred Talbot and Phillip Schofield – but they bring in the paedophile loan taker Sarah Ferguson.”
“‘How do we keep our spark alive?’ … Sarah Ferguson… Letting your husband go on a lads’ holiday. If has a mate with a private island in the Caribbean, that’s ideal. Always used to cheer Andrew right up!”
“Husband said this morning that Sarah, Duchess of York giving relationship advice is like the fox in the hen house teaching chickens.”
“Oh dear, Sarah Ferguson – who “sold Andrew for £500,000 in cash for royal access scandal” – gets her own television programme show. #ThisMorning.”
“So Cliff Richard fat shaming Elvis and saying he didn’t want a photo of him hanging on his fridge forever. After, Sarah Ferguson called him ‘humble.’ What the actual heck?”
“Who on earth thought Sarah Ferguson would make good telly?”
“Sarah Ferguson mentioned on Epstein flight logs, but This Morning wants to hire her. Has anyone asked any questions about this?”
The Previous Weird Words of “Greedy” and “Needy” Freeloader Sarah, Duchess of York…
Sarah, Duchess of York, the live-in ex-wife at Royal Lodge, Windsor of supposedly skint ‘Randy Andy’ – a non-sweating nuisance who got his long-suffering relatives to pay a supposed sum of circa £12 million to Virginia Roberts Giuffre, a woman he has previously claimed to have met – is known for her weird warblings. They number:
Of sex, herself and goats: “One of the worst headlines said 82% [of the population] would rather sleep with a goat than Fergie. It’s never left me.”
Of her writing novels and her style: “Sherlock Holmes meets Peaky Blinders.”
Of the royal family: “They tried to put the little redhead in a cage.”
Of her own family: “I do believe in family unity. I think forgiveness is key.”
Of the Duke of York: “A good man… In 1986, I married a very good man. Zip.”
Of whether she might remarry Prince Andrew: “Oh bless your heart, no. I think we’re great as we are.”
Of supporting her disgraced ex-husband financially: “I will always be there [for Prince Andrew].”
“When Andrew went through a hard time, I used to be able to throw it to ‘The Boss.’”
“Since he stepped back [from royal duties] he doesn’t actually take taxpayers’ money and I’m in a position where I can support him and the rest of the family through my work. And I’m really pleased and proud to do that.”
“All I will say is that for many years now – it started with Budgie the Little Helicopter – I’ve really pushed to look after my girls and to contribute to the York family life.”
Of where she and the Duke of York will end up living in the future: “Honestly, I operate from living in the present. You never get complacent and it makes for a better day because you never get disappointed, then. You look at life and you go, we can adapt, we can be flexible.”
Of whether she might remarry someone else: “I think I’ve got too much baggage. I look at today and if suddenly I find love again, well, that’s another bonus, isn’t it?”
Of her daughters Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie: “Exceptional… I love my girlies, I’m so proud of them. They are exceptional children… If mum’s OK, they’re OK.”
“My daughters come first in my life, they always have. Because I lost my mum so early, I’m subconsciously very present with them. When I brought them up, I always left my problems at the door. Your problem is not their problem – it’s not their fault. We laugh together a lot. We are just very close.”
Of her grandchildren: “I’m ‘Super Gran’… When my grandchildren see me, they immediately laugh because they know I’m going to be up to something, up to no good somewhere.”
“Every time I think about about co-parenting and co-grandparenting and about divorce, marriage and all these different things, I still come back to the principle that the sun will come up tomorrow, and be grateful, just get on with it.”
Of the late Queen Elizabeth II: “For me, she was more a mother than my own mother. Aren’t I the luckiest person alive to have had that great honour? When I was with her, I used to say: ‘I can’t believe it. People wait and put on their best dress to have an audience with you, and I’m wandering around the garden in wellies!’”
“For the whole nation, for the world. Steadfast, consistent, iconic. [She had an] extraordinary ability to put someone at ease. I still now think it was such an honour [to have known her].”
“During the last three years, her poor son [was] going through such a tumultuous time… And I think HM was very relieved I could help her with him, so we became even closer, then.”
“I’m so lucky. All my life, I was lucky enough to know ‘The Boss,’ HM. Like the nation and the world, she was always there. It was like having a hand at your back. It just made you always strive for being better and trying to be better, learning from her, whenever you were with her just taking everything she said as a memory. She was such an incredible legend for us all.”
Of the late Queen’s corgis: “They’re very good boys, they’re very gentle. I think they knew that they weren’t to jump up and be naughty. They used to sit and watch the racing with her. And when you give them a biscuit, they don’t snatch. They’re very special, they’re national treasures.”
“They really make me laugh and the follow me around. Sometimes I break a little ‘biccie’ – a digestive biscuit – in the same way the Queen broke it into little pieces, and give it to them and tell them to remember their boss.”
Of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex: “I have been judged all my life, and I have no judgment on the Sussexes.”
“It must be hard for Meghan and can I relate to her. I believe she is modern and fabulous. She was famous before. She is great. Why can’t Meghan be great? Why can’t she be celebrated? I have been in Meghan’s shoes, and I still am. There’s always a twist of negativity and it just gets so sad and tiring… I abhor bullying and I feel desperately sorry for the pain they must be going through.”
“I believe very strongly that I have absolutely no judgment on any other person’s life, and I look at how much she [Meghan] loves him [Harry] and loves the children and gives him a love that he’s never had before. That’s how I look at it… The most important thing is, Diana would be so very proud of Archie and Lili. She would have adored every moment of it.”
Of King Charles III: “It’s incredible what he’s done for the environment. He was a trailblazer and many years ago, everybody said: ‘What’s he talking about?’ But he’s right. I’m a great believer and supporter of him, as I am of the Queen Consort.”
Of herself and her life: “I have been in the gutter.”
“I’m a brilliant mother. The best mother.”
“I don’t believe that any single person has the right to judge another person. I’m not in a position myself to make any judgments.”
“I’m very steadfast and stoic… I won’t let anyone down. I’m very loyal.”
Being rather wishy-washy: “The most important thing is that the sun will come up tomorrow and the day will move on.”
Of food, family and dining: “As long as it is hot, wet and goes down the right way, it’s fine with me.”
“With every smell, I smell food. With every sight, I see food. I can almost hear food. I want to spade the whole lot through my mouth at Mach 2. Basta!”
“We all sit round the table and eat together. Andrew and I believe in total parent unity. We’re best friends.”
On the coronation of King Charles III: “Well I’ve decided the best thing about British around a coronation – although I’ve never been to one – I think we should, I should set up a tea room at the bottom of the drive with bunting and cakes.”
“Never presume, never assume. I don’t know. But I’ll be there at the end of the drive with a cup of tea if I’m not there.”
Of wanting to be a television star: “I would quite like to go on Dancing With The Stars. I would like somebody to teach me to tango. I do know the show and my children would be so proud of me.”
On Americans: “I divorced, went to America, wrote a book, went on Oprah and did 12 years as the longest running spokesperson of Weight Watchers. I looked to America to support me and to help me and I really can’t thank the American people enough for what they gave me and what they did for me.”
Of when she decided she wanted to bag a royal: “I met [Prince Andrew] when I was 12, and I said: ‘I’m going to marry him.’”
Of marriage, divorce and work: “I left my marriage knowing I’d have to work. I have.”
“I didn’t want a divorce, but had to because of circumstance.”
“I wish we’d never got divorced. He and I both wish we’d never divorced, but we did. I wish I could go back and be the bride again, but I can’t.”
Of her many, many mistakes: “I felt that I ostracised myself by my behaviour, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake. Why have I made so many mistakes?”
“You look at the devil in the face, which you do. Then you forgive, and you say: ‘OK, I’ve made almost a mistake that will never be forgotten,’ and forgive.”
“I think the obstacles are the way, as opposed to in the way. I feel very strongly that I completely and utterly own my very naïve self and made endless different wrong decisions, whatever they may be, but in the end, it’s got me to today as an author. I’m a person in my own right, I’m Sarah.”
“I was so out of control with desperation… I was looking for quick fixes in the places I wouldn’t normally look… I’ve been a huge overtrusting, idiotic, stupid woman that went to look for the perfect situation, and that’s all I can say really.”
“I’ve done the work to get to myself. I’ve done masses of mental therapy. I probably reached to the wrong places and the wrong people and made, as you call it, mistakes. I don’t call them mistakes. I call them enormous learning curves.”
After ‘Has-Been’ Prince Harry nonsensically claimed he was pursued for TWO HOURS by paparazzi, all he has proven is that he’s nothing but a whining whingebag
After having put in an appearance at the astoundingly overpriced £795,000 ($1 million, €915,000 or درهم3.7 million) for two tables Ms. Foundation for Women awards dinner at the Ziegfeld Ballroom at 141 West 54th Street – where the mendacious menace formerly known as Meghan Markle laughably received a ‘Woman of Vision award in spite of clearly being totally lacking in ‘vision’ of anything other than power and privilege – the trio claim to have been involved in a two hour “near catastrophic” car chase around Manhattan.
An unnamed spokesperson for ‘Walmart Wallis’ and her dopey drip ‘Has-Been’ hubby subsequently whined:
“[On Tuesday[ night, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and [Doria] Ragland were involved in a near catastrophic car chase at the hands of a ring of highly aggressive paparazzi.”
“This relentless pursuit, lasting over two hours, resulted in multiple near collisions involving other drivers on the road, pedestrians and two NYPD officers.”
“While being a public figure comes with a level of interest from the public, it should never come at the cost of anyone’s safety.”
“Dissemination of these images, given the ways in which they were obtained, encourages a highly intrusive practice that is dangerous to all in involved.”
However, according to The Sun: “Cabbie Sukhcharn Singh, who picked up the Sussexes and Meghan’s mum Doria Ragland, said they ‘obviously didn’t grow up in New York.’ He added: ‘I think that’s all, you know, exaggerated. I don’t think I’d call it a chase.’”
Going further the paper added: “A high-ranking NYPD insider said the chase ‘definitely wasn’t two hours,’ adding its escort had around 20 minutes of interaction with Meghan and Harry’s convoy.”
Speaking to The Guardian, Julian Phillips, NYPD deputy commissioner for public information, observed:
“The NYPD assisted the private security team protecting the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. There were numerous photographers that made their transport challenging. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex arrived at their destination and there were no reported collisions, summonses, injuries, or arrests in regard.”
Tellingly: “Buckingham Palace has declined to comment on the reports,” but, naturally, the meddling mouthpiece Omid Scobie had to get his plastic-not-fantastic face onto the screens to spout salaciously about the non-incident. Speaking to the BBC’s Newsnight – a show that should know better than to bring on this tittle-tattling twerp – the one-time ‘bestie’ of the not-so-glamorous glamour model Jodie Marsh whinged:
“It is impossible not to think of Princess Diana when we hear about car accidents and this kind of aggressive paparazzi chase and so, I was really surprised to hear from sources that not one member of the royal family – including King Charles and Prince William, who are obviously heavily affected by Princess Diana’s death – had not reached out to Prince Harry hours after this news had broken.”
“You know, it was sort of on every single headline around the world. Sadly, that shows the kind of disrepair that that relationship is. It is hard not to forget that Harry was here just a couple of weeks ago for King Charles’s coronation.”
“You would have thought that that may go towards building some kind of path towards reconciliation in some way, but it seems like that’s not felt on the other side and that would no doubt of been a sort of disappointing addition to what had already been a traumatic 12 hours for the couple.”
It is now time for just one further development; it is time for ‘MeGain’ and ‘Has-Been’ to take a taxi to Siberia.
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Do you believe claims of dopey drip Prince Harry & his mendacious menace wife, the wicked wench formerly known as Meghan Markle, that they spent TWO HOURS being chased around NYC by paparazzi?” By 11:30am on Friday 19th May 2023, the majority of respondents favoured the answer: “No; exaggerated nonsense.”
All of the Meghan Markle fans in my mentions screaming “NO-ONE SAID IT WAS A HIGH SPEED CHASE”. Errrr, straight from their mouthpiece Omid Scobie telling lies as per usual stating it reached 80mph
— FAN of the Prince & Princess of Wales (@TribesBritannia) May 18, 2023
On ‘Newsnight’ PR peddling pillock Omid Scobie whined: “It is impossible not to think of Princess Diana when we hear about car accidents and this kind of aggressive paparazzi chase and so, I was really surprised to hear from sources that not one member of the royal family – including King Charles and Prince William, who are obviously heavily affected by Princess Diana’s death – had not reached out to Prince Harry hours after this news had broken. You know, it was sort of on every single headline around the world. Sadly, that shows the kind of disrepair that that relationship is. It is hard not to forget that Harry was here just a couple of weeks ago for King Charles’s coronation. You would have thought that that may go towards building some kind of path towards reconciliation in some way, but it seems like that’s not felt on the other side and that would no doubt of been a sort of disappointing addition to what had already been a traumatic 12 hours for the couple.Omid Scobie being sent on a media circuit gadabout to bang on about the non-event is further proof that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have well and truly lost the plot. This couple would do well to belt up, wrap up and shut up, but sadly they simply won’t.On Friday morning, Matthew Steeples observed on Twitter: “Prince Harry is a brain dead berk. Period.” Hundreds of people liked and shared the tweet and thus provided indication of how the public view the Duke and Duchess of Sussex as now nothing but a laughing stock and in the league of the late Duke and Duchess of Windsor; here is a couple who frankly would do better just to give up. Equally, the former Meghan Markle’s decision to accept an award has rightly been called out. Royals should GIVE OUT awards, they SHOULD NOT accept them. Here is another example of the duo’s attitude of “rights over responsibilities” shining through. Shame on the pair of rotten toerags.An annotated map, courtesy of a ‘Daily Mail’ report, shows the route the couple took. It proves that their claim of the incident lasting two hours is total twaddle. This ‘storm-in-a-teacup’ is nothing but just that. In attempting to play the Diana, Princess of Wales accident card, all the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have achieved is to make utter fools of themselves. They should be reminded: “When you are in a hole, it is best to stop digging.”
What’s the truth about the many ‘curious stories’ that abound about the Duchess of Sussex?
Of her claiming having got married the day before she actually did, Mr Markle stated: “Lying about the archbishop? How can you say: ‘We’ve been married three days before we got married’? Her lies are so obvious, I don’t know why she says them.”
Her very own half-sister, Samantha Markle, who is currently bringing a defamation case against her, has called her out as a liar on multiple occasions also. It has been proven that the duchess’s claim that she hasn’t seen her sibling in over 20 years was untrue given a photo of the pair together 14 years ago proves quite to the contrary.
Her very own half-brother, Thomas Jr., said of her: “I told Prince Harry, I think she’s going to ruin your life. She’s very shallow… She’s a phony, a bully, a jaded, shallow, conceited woman.”
The wife of Prince Harry has been called out on multiple occasions for spinning stories against other members of the royal family, most especially the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Camilla.
Staff who’ve worked for her have complained that she is a bully and investigations into this remain ongoing.
The Duchess of Sussex is a known manipulator of the press and paparazzis and it has been claimed that she’ll “twist the truth” to get any headline she wants.
Questions remain as to how many times she’s actually been married in total. Some say twice, some say thrice.
What’s the truth about Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland? Is this clearly equally manipulative woman an honest and decent citizen or is she a jailbird who has spent time in the clink?
Did the ‘Montecito Meddler’ meet Prince Andrew or Prince Harry first? Rumours abound that she could have spent time and holidayed with the former as long ago as 2001 and that her claim to have no prior knowledge of the royal family until 2016 is just utter baloney.
Matthew Steeples takes a look at a £36 million Kensington mansion formerly owned by disgraced business tycoons Alan Bond and Lord Black; its former chatelaine was known for stating “I have an extravagance that know no bounds”
Sir Winston Churchill’s daughter Mary Soames once described the buccaneering businessman and media tycoon Lord Black of Crossharbour as “London’s biggest bore unhung” whilst his wife, Lady Black – better known as the author and journalist Barbara Amiel – was suggested to be just a “rich bitch” by Sarah Sands in a “case for the defence” article in the Independent in October 2006.
“Poster boy for the 80s” turned fraudster and jailbird Alan Bond (1938 – 2015) was an English-Australian businessman equally Marmite-like in being liked or loathed and now a Kensington mansion owned for a time by both subsequently disgraced businessmen is once again for sale.
14 Cottesmore Gardens, formerly known as 12 – 14 Cottesmore Gardens, was purchased by Alan Bond’s Satellite Group for £7 million in the 1980s and sold by administrators of that business to Conrad Black and his wife for the knockdown sum of just £3.5 million in 1992.
Plain old Mr and Mrs Black (as they then were) lavished further millions – some of which came from the company Hollinger International, Inc., which ultimately resulted in their downfall – on the double fronted 19th century mansion and used it for entertaining on a lavish scale. Guests, including the likes of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, Joan Collins, Margaret Thatcher, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Goldsmith, James Hanson, Arnold Weinstock, Jacob Rothschild, Peter Mandelson and Tony Blair, were said to flock to the parties they gave there, but in 2005 these gatherings of upto 400 people at a time came to an almighty end.
Forced to sell at a bargain basement price of just £13.1 million on an ask of £17.5 million as the Canadian born billionaire faced jail time in America, Lord and Lady Black’s tenure was over and the residence saw its “arriviste torch” passed to Juan and Adriana Villalonga, a couple described as “a Mexican telecom czar and his beauty-queen wife.” Of what came next, The Globe And Mail’s Paul Waldie pointedly penned in February 2007: “[They] quickly erased many of the features that the Blacks prized.”
Once again for sale as of April 2023, the value of 14 Cottesmore Gardens has again been deemed to have substantially risen. Knight Frank offer the 12,310 square foot, five-storey residence at a punchy price of £36 million and laud it as “imposing” and “presented in good order throughout.” They add that a “pre-planning consultation” has found that further accommodation could be added that would take the internal space to more than 15,000 square feet; business barons with deep pockets only need apply.
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
Pictured Top – 54-foot wide 14 Cottesmore Gardens is described by selling agents Knight Frank as “offering lateral living so often requested but so hard to find in central London.” They neglect to mention that with its hedges cut back to the minimum, the place actually looks extremely forlorn.
Flamboyant Lord and Lady Black dressed as Cardinal Richelieu and Marie Antoinette for a party at Kensington Palace in 2000. For a time, the couple employed 17 butlers (if Tom Bower is to be believed) and had two private jets and homes – aside from the 19th Cottesmore Gardens mansion – in New York, Palm Beach and Toronto. “Guests packed into their parties at Cottesmore Gardens,” Bower remarked in his 2006 book the couple, adding: “Amiel was a big spender… Under the control of senior butler Andrew Lightwood, second butler Peter Wilson and a succession of third butlers, Amiel’s life in Kensington had become what her constantly changing staff called ‘bizarre.’ Each recruit was taken by Lightwood on an introductory tour of the house, ending on the roof. ‘Make sure the landing lights are on at all times,’ instructed Lightwood solemnly, ‘because Madame takes off from here on her broomstick looking for cats. She needs the lights to guide her return.’ His face would crack into a smile. ‘Most important, take care that she never sees you. She hates seeing any of us.’ Amiel’s eccentricity demanded that her staff hid whenever she approached, diving into cupboards if necessary, and never entered her quarters when she was present. Every day, all the bed linen was changed and subjected to ‘the penny test.’ A coin was dropped onto the sheets. If it failed to bounce they were not drawn sufficiently tight. Every cushion was arranged to a precise pre-ordained position, and each towel placed exactly as Amiel had predetermined. ‘Andrew!’ she screamed down the telephone on one memorable occasion, ‘the towels are in the wrong place!’ Lightwood, as Amiel knew, was in New York, but he was expected to telephone the staff in the house in London to rectify the error. ‘You f**king pillock!’ she yelled at another member of staff for reading her ‘Daily Mail’ before it was delivered to her.”Barbara Amiel Black (or ‘Lady Black’ as she prefers to be known) in her drawing room at Cottesmore Gardens (pictured). Of her, Sarah Sands on Lord and Lady Black in the ‘Independent’ in October 2006 opined: “Conrad and Barbara in their monstrous, glamorous way, knew how to throw parties. The talk was of geo-politics and hemlines. Nowadays, we scorn their extravagance and doubt the source of their wealth with prune-faced hindsight. Meanwhile, everyone is sucking up to Russians…. Barbara would disingenuously begin her midnight calls to me by saying in her low, breathy voice: ‘I hope I am not disturbing you.’ She would then offer little glimpses of her own home life. I remember her mentioning that Conrad Black was upstairs playing with his fleet of toy gun ships in the bath… I remember her examining an exhibition of doll’s houses at the Chelsea Flower Show and sighing how restful it would be to live in this cosy little home. How she envied people in small houses. The burden of wealth was one of her more dangerous fantasies. At one of her Gatsby-style parties in Kensington, she flinched at the elaborate canapés on offer: ‘Really, all I want is a sausage,’ she said, piteously. Then, she ran a hand down her inconceivably expensive dress and whispered: ‘I hate these parties, I am so shy.’ Later, I was invited to her boudoir, where she lay on cushion surrounded by her women friends. She was Kensington’s Cleopatra, surrounded by maidens such as the designer and Forte daughter Olga Polizzi, the political thinker Tessa Keswick and the writer Miriam Gross.”The very same drawing room at 14 Cottesmore Gardens today. The décor is now somewhat more modern and less ‘classical country house-ified.’ It’s certainly more Soho Farmhouse than Alberto Pinto in style; it is currently a space that the former Meghan Markle would feel more at home than say, perhaps, the likes of Lord and Lady Black’s chum Ghislaine Maxwell and her fellow noxious nonce Ponzi scheming paedophile boyfriend Jeffrey Epstein. Mr Pinto was responsible, it should be noted, for the designs of most of Epstein’s residences.The front elevation of 12 – 14 Cottesmore Gardens during the era it was owned by Lord and Lady Black.Multiple entries for Lord and Lady Black during the time they owned 14 Cottesmore Gardens appeared in the ‘Little Black Book’ address book often attributed as being that of the friends and associates of Jeffrey Epstein, but that featured more of the contacts of Ghislaine Maxwell in fact. In October 2020, Barbara Amiel took revenge on the pension pot plunderer’s padeophile sex trafficker daughter by featuring her in her “score-settling” memoir ‘Friends & Enemies: A Life in Vogue, Prison, & Park Avenue.” Maxwell had “dumped” Lady Black when Lord Black was being investigated for fraud. She wrote of their last meeting: “We were friends – so putting on my ‘So good to see you’ face, I headed for her. She bolted. Turned that sharp tight little turn when you really want to get away. And that was it.” Of the clear lover of plastic surgery Lady Black, in October 2020, Sarah Sands remarked in ‘The Mail on Sunday’: “She had a bohemian, almost masculine, view of opportunistic sex. She describes, for instance, accompanying an early love in his white Triumph sports car ‘in which once or twice I had performed fellatio to the fascination of passing truck drivers, all for fun.’”After getting out of the clink in 2012, Lord and Lady Black decided to go back on the ‘razzle-dazzle’ and posed for photographers before heading back to London to party with friends. In May 2019, the rambunctious peer arrogantly announced he’d be returning to the House of Lords after President Donald Trump pardoned and praised him. Commenting, of this pardon, Lord Black declared: “I’m not bitter… Officially in the United States, I’ve never been charged and I won in the end. It was a war and there are casualties in wars. I lost the time, I lost a lot of money, but as you can see my standards of living isn’t bad… The truth is, these, last 15 years, I haven’t been as interested in British politics as I was before – in the Thatcher years. It could be quite interesting again, in fact it is as of right now – it’s very interesting… It’s my good fortune that at a time when it is feasible, it happens – by happy coincidence – that it is a time of great fermentation in British public affairs.” Surprisingly, he doesn’t seem to have turned up on occasions since.The previous owner of 14 Cottesmore Gardens, Alan Bond (1938 – 2015), will forever be remembered as “Australia’s most notorious corporate criminal.” Born in Hammersmith, London, Bond’s first crime occurred when he was charged with theft aged 14 in Fremantle in Australia and whilst he is remembered for bankrolling the successful challenge for the 1983 America’s Cup, it is for causing the then biggest corporate collapse in Australian history that he will be go down in history. Former Miss Mexico Adriana Abascal López-Cisneros (at the time Adriana Villalonga) bought the house in 2005. She divorced the Spanish businessman Juan Villalonga in 2009 and married the French businessman Emmanuel Schreder in Ibiza in June 2013. In August 2014, the magazine ‘Quién’ featured the model and television presenter on its cover and at that time she described her new husband as “the love of my life.”Madrid born Juan Villalonga became the joint owner of 14 Cottesmore Gardens with his then wife Adriana Abascal – the couple were married between 2000 and 2009 – in 2005. He is listed on Companies House as being a director of the now dissolved Medikidz Foundation at the address between August 2009 and November 2013. Married since 2011 to a photographer named Vanessa Von Zitewitz, Mr Villalonga was a partner at McKinsey & Company in the 1980s, CEO for Credit Suisse First Boston and Bankers Trust in Spain in the early 1990s and CEO of Telefónica from 1996 to 2000. He was named as one of the best performing chief executive officers in the world by ‘Harvard Business Review’ in 2010 and is also linked to addresses in Monaco.
The Names & Numbers – 14 Cottesmore Gardens (formerly known as ’12 – 14 Cottesmore Gardens’), Kensington, London, W8 5PR, United Kingdom
April 2023 – Offered for sale for £36 million ($44.4 million, €40.9 million or درهم163.2 million) through Knight Frank. Valued on Homipi at an upper sum of £28.558 million ($35.250 million, €32.440 million or درهم129.456 million).
2009 – Mr and Mrs Villalonga divorce and subsequently Adriana Abascal married Emmanuel Schreder, a French businessman, in Ibiza in June 2013.
2005 – Sold by Lord and Lady Black for £13.1 million ($16.2 million, €14.9 million or درهم59.4 million) to Spanish businessman Juan Villalonga Navarro and Mexican model, Miss Mexico winner and television presenter Adriana Abascal López-Cisneros Villalonga.
October 2004 – Placed for sale for £17.5 million ($21.6 million, €19.9 million or درهم79.3 million) according to NZ Herald.
January 2004 – Valued at £14 million ($17.3 million, €15.9 million or درهم63.5 million) according to The Globe And Mail. At the time, the “mansion” in “the upscale Kensington neighbourhood” was described as having “10 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms and a swimming pool.”
Featured also in The Guardian in an article by Chris Tryhorn. Quoting Lord Black, he shared: “At a certain price, anything is for sale. [It has] been shown to people in the not-too-distant-past.”
Going further, Tryhorn added: “Artwork from the 18th and 19th centuries lines the walls, and there is plenty of storage space for the extensive wardrobe and shoe collection of Lord Black’s wife, Barbara Amiel, who famously declared once that her ‘extravagence knows no bounds.’ … It was originally two homes and one of the two original front doors is now a ‘deliveries’ entrance. He has used it in the past to host dinners with butler and maid service that was part-paid by Hollinger.”
Also in 2004, in a profile in The Spectator, Peter Oborne wrote:
“Every year the Blacks threw two parties, one at Christmas and one summer event, at their double-fronted 11-bedroom mansion in Cottesmore Gardens. Everybody who mattered at the time went: Margaret Thatcher, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Goldsmith, James Hanson, Arnold Weinstock, Jacob Rothschild, royalty, the playwright Tom Stoppard.”
“Some of these, injudiciously as it turned out, agreed to join the main Hollinger board. The luckier ones – Peter Carrington, Robert Salisbury – got away with being made directors of TheTelegraph. As the Tories faded out, Labour ministers started to arrive, the indefatigable Peter Mandelson, David Blunkett and other ministers eager to ingratiate themselves with the Tory press. Prince and Princess Michael of Kent were assiduous in attendance. In London, the Nineties belonged to the Blacks. They were London’s most glamorous power couple.”
“There had been a time when both Blacks had kept their feet on the ground. This ceased to be the case. One evening Barbara Black rang Charles Moore panic-stricken from her Kensington home. There had been a last-minute drop-out from one of the famous Black dinner parties. ‘I’m short of a woman,’ she told Moore. Moore surveyed the newsroom. His gaze alighted on the journalist Eleanor Mills, by chance the stepdaughter of the Cabinet minister Tessa Jowell.”
“An hour later, hastily groomed, made-up and brushed, Mills was sipping pre-dinner drinks in Cottesmore Gardens. Then disaster struck. A male guest, Max Fisher, dropped out. Mills was approached by Conrad Black. ‘Finish your drink and skedaddle,’ he told her. Barbara Black then told her to go to the kitchen and out through the servants’ door, where the driver would pick her up and take her home.”
2001 – Conrad Black is elevated to a life peerage in the United Kingdom at the suggestion of Tony Blair. He sat on the Conservative benches in the House of Lords until 2007 as The Right Honourable The Lord Black of Crossharbour KCSG, but took a “leave of absence” between 2012 and 2019.
28th May 1996 – The Royal Borough of Kensington And Chelsea ordered that 12 – 14 Cottesmore Gardens “shall be known and described” simply instead as 14 Cottesmore Gardens.
Mid 1990s – The Blacks set about renovating 12 and 14 Cottesmore Gardens with the help of J. E. Evans Associates. Of the work in October 2006, The Sunday Times shared a segment of Tom Bower’s 2006 hatchet job Conrad and Lady Black that read: “Amiel vowed to create a palace that would attract celebrity worshipers of a power couple. Part of the first floor was to be removed to create a huge ground floor reception area.”
1992 – 12 and 14 Cottesmore Gardens sold by the administrators of the affairs of Alan Bond through estate agents Savills to media tycoon Conrad Black and his Watford born journalist wife Barbara Amiel Black for “well under the asking price” for a sum of £3.5 million ($4.3 million, €4 million or درهم15.9 million).
Mr Bond had been granted mortgages valued at £16.2 million ($20 million, €18.4 million or درهم73.5 million) on the property by Bell Satellite Services on the property along with two others at 4 and 16 Belgrave Mews in London, SW1 previously according to a report published by Financial Review in March 1990.
1991 – Rented to an American businessman for £6,000 per week ($7,400, €6,800 or درهم27,200 per week).
1990 – Placed in the hands of administrators of Mr Bond’s and placed for sale through Savills for a bargain basement sum of £3.8 million ($4.7 million, €4.3 million or درهم17.2 million) according to Financial Review.
1980s – Sold to Alan Bond’s Bell Satellite Group for £7 million ($8.6 million, €8 million or درهم31.7 million).
Circa 1905 – Walter Tapper is said to have “designed a library with handsome Arts and Crafts plasterwork (now removed) at the rear of the building.”
1869 – In their current marketing blurb, Knight Frank suggest: “There has been a house on the site of 12 – 14 Cottesmore Gardens since at least 1869. The current house has been altered, extended and most notably joined over the subsequent century and a half. With the local planning department strongly opposed to further amalgamation of homes, opportunities to acquire a house of this width will be rarer still in the future.”
1850s to 1860s – Built “under the direction of David Howell, of Serjeants Inn, Fleet Street.” Mr Howell was described in 1853 as an “articled clerk to a solicitor, lately carrying on business as a solicitor.” The architecture was lauded as: “Designed in a bold classical manner, with rather fleshy consoles and modillions… and bands of Vitruvian scroll between the bases of the ground-floor windows.”
More photographs of the £36 million mansion…
An entrance hall where power and privilege have most certainly mingled previously.The 54-foot wide drawing is lauded by selling realtors Knight Frank as “arguably the best room in the house” and “double aspect.” They add: “[It has] six windows overlooking the street and additional views over the private garden to the rear.”The columns where Barbara Amiel Black once posed for photographs remain, but the subsequent owners eliminated much of the 1990s ‘brash’ that had been installed by a Watford born woman whose excess clearly offended so many.This dining room, where Conrad Black hosted presidents and prime ministers, is now somewhat diminished. The table for eight looks completely out of place and a future owner would do well to install something a little grander.A double height entertaining space was installed at the insistence of the loftier-than-lofty Lady Black in the 1990s and it remains today. However, it is now currently being used for more casual affairs such as Netflix viewing rather than being the scene of something that you’d more likely find in the ‘House of Cards’ in fact.A new owner might reinstate the grandeur of the past; sadly, however, this seems unlikely and the purchaser is more likely to be a footballer or Internet tycoon than a super-connected business tycoon.This currently very dark and very depressing study would most certainly not appeal to the very clearly very, very bright yet very, very pompous The Right Honourable The Lord Black of Crossharbour KCSG – a man who is said to count Julius Caesar and Napoleon Bonaparte as “his military heroes.” Of him in July 1997, Mark Honigsbaum in the ‘Independent’ remarked: “Although Black’s grandfather had briefly been a business partner of Harold Harmsworth, the original Viscount Rothermere, it was from his father, George Montegu Black Jr, that Black learned the art of corporate warfare, the importance of historical perspective and that gambling provides a disappointing rate of return compared to the Dow Jones index… The young Conrad was precocious. At the age of eight he sank his life savings of $60 into a single share of General Motors. He also became obsessed with Napoleon, and would astound his father’s friends by reeling off details of campaigns. Another story has him washing dollar bills and hanging them out to dry on a line outside his father’s home in Toronto. The last is apocryphal – Black says he slipped in the mud and was cleaning his change – but the image of the young capitalist, wise beyond his years, is accurate. His childhood tutor, the historian Laurier LaPierre, once asked Black why he always seemed to have the air of someone waiting for something to happen… A few years ago, for instance, the rumour went round Fleet Street that Black had bought Napoleon’s preserved penis at an auction. Black denied it, but many remain convinced that Bonaparte’s body part sits in Black’s collection of military curios… Black is no philanderer and is devoted to his second wife, the former ‘Sunday Times’ columnist Barbara Amiel. They are said to be intellectual soul mates and the parties at their four-storey mansion in Kensington are famous for bringing together a cross-section of the great and good.”One could not imagine the likes of the late great Baroness Thatcher, for example, liking the idea of sitting in this extremely depressing and dark waiting area. A new owner would do well to obliterate a décor scheme that could have only been favoured by a completely colour blind banker.A room currently described as a ‘cinema room’ measures 28’6” by 21’6” and is situated at the rear of the house. One can imagine Conrad Black having sat here for hour upon hour watching historical dramas about Napoleon with the likes of chums such as the acclaimed historian Andrew Roberts, the gambling tycoon John Aspinall and the politician and diarist Alan Clark, but a new owner will be more likely next showing episodes of ‘Succession’ – based on ‘The Telegraph’ tycoon’s rival Rupert Murdoch – than viewing historical works one most definitely suspects.Dining whilst the staff cook would NEVER have been on the agenda in the era that pomposity reigned whilst Lady Black was chatelaine of 14 Cottesmore Gardens.A 2,000 square foot entire floor fit for a tycoon… The master bedroom suite of the house takes up the entirety of the second floor of the building. It incorporates not only the principal bedroom, but also a “his” dressing room and a “her” dressing room as well as a sitting area, a bathroom, a shower room and storage rooms. It has direct lift access and is bigger than the average Brit’s entire house.A dressing room in the house where Barbara Black opened up to ‘Vogue’ and displayed “closets overflowing with dazzling evening gowns, designer handbags and 100 pairs of Manolo Blahnik shoes. ‘I have an extravagance that knows no bounds,’ she famously declared. Unfortunately for Lady Black, the article was closely perused at investment company Tweedy, Browne, a Hollinger International shareholder.”This playroom certainly did not exist in the era that Lord and Lady Black owned the property. It would be more likely crammed with books or stuffed with Manolo Blahnik shoes than toys from Toys ‘R Us. A new owner may likely reinstate it as an additional bedroom or office or games room perhaps.The pool room measures 43’9” by 26’9” and is no doubt where Lady Black spent many an hour relaxing.The garden to the rear was where Lord and Lady Black hosted their annual summer party (with guests “spilling” into their drawing room also). In surprisingly Tardis-like fashion, the duo were able to supposedly squeeze in upto 400 guests at such occasions. Amongst those said to have enjoyed hospitality there were Joan Collins and of such, magazine publisher Nicholas Coleridge wrote: “If you get a kick out of milling about with present and former prime ministers, cabinet ministers, minor royals, dukes, editors, vastly rich Americans, distinguished historians, gossip columnists, playboys and lots of pretty ‘it’ girls, then this was the place to be.”The existing floor plan of the property illustrates the vast scale of the building offered. A buyer, Knight Frank observe, has additional options and “a pre-planning consultation has been carried out with RBKC by leading architects Studio Indigo.” They add: “[It] would completely reconfigure the house adding an additional basement floor and taking the internal space to more than 15,000 square foot. The resulting house would have a 40-foot by 41-foot south-facing rear garden.”A plan of the site as presented in 1996 when 12 and 14 became known just as 14 Cottesmore Gardens.
Bungling berk Boris Johnson is supposedly upsizing and has allegedly bought the £4 million Brightwell Manor in Oxfordshire; the lavish lush that is the former Carrie Symonds will need a big budget if she is to clad the colossal 10,508 square foot crib in £840 per roll Lulu Lytle wallpaper
In November 2019, Country Life’s longstanding property correspondent described a “rare part-moated manor house set in almost five acres of gardens and grounds at the heart of the picturesque Oxfordshire village of Brightwell-cum-Sotwell, on the eastern edge of the Vale of the White Horse” named Brightwell Manor as a “forever home.”
Featured in The Times in an article by Liz Rowlinson in November last year after it “had three viewings so far from Americans,” the part-Tudor, part-Georgian house and its annexe and guest cottage provides a total of 10,508 square foot of accommodation over three floors. It has a total of 9 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms and if The Guardian is to be believed, it has just been sold to the former Prime Minister Boris Johnson and his considerably younger than himself wife.
Brightwell Manor has been owned by the same family since 1971, so, if indeed the Johnsons are the purchasers, the former Carrie Symonds will need to spend a hell of a lot of money on Lulu Lytle wallpaper to bring it “upto scratch.” This is a place that needs a lot of work and no doubt, ‘Carrie On Regardless’ already has plans bring in also ‘Lady Doors-To-Manual’ Carole Bamford’s JCB diggers to help install a swimming pool in the 4.88-acre grounds.
Suitably for the Brexiteer buffoon Johnson – who got paid an £88,000 advance in 2015 for a book on Shakespeare that he’s never bothered to actually write – in their marketing blurb, the selling agents predictably claimed: “Of its many owners perhaps the most notable was the Reverend Doctor W. R. Inge, Dean of St Paul’s Cathedral and Knight Commander of the Victorian Order. He was a prolific author and used the family room as his study for writing.” Maybe now, this is a room that will become the place where the “pyramid of piffle” that will be Johnson’s memoirs might finally get written.
Described as a “village of picture postcard prettiness” and as “in estate agents’ jargon, this is a sought after village, but it is much more than a pretty face” on the local community website, Brightwell-cum-Sotwell – which flooded in 2014 and has a CAMRA award-winning pub named the Red Lion where Johnson will no doubt get smashed with his wife and the likes of Henry Newman and Josh Grimstone – has a population of around 1,500 people. It lies between the towns of Didcot and Wallingford, is 55 miles west of London is and close to Didcot Parkway train station – which has trains running to Paddington in just 37 minutes.
Offered for sale in November 2019 at a somewhat punchy price of £5 million by Hamptons International, the “magnificent Grade II listed Georgian village house” stands on the likely site of the long since vanished Brightwell Castle. It was relaunched to the market subsequently for a sum £1 million lower by Andrew Russell of agents The Country House Department in October 2022.
“[This is a] properly edge-of-village house, so that you can be involved in the village community, or you can keep to yourself, depending on what you’d prefer.”
“The property used to be moated all the way around, with about two-thirds of this moat remaining today. [It was the tallest house in the area at the time of its building and it was] not good form to build a house that was taller than the local church. To rectify this, the family who built it also added a red brick tower onto the local church, St Agatha’s, which reaches just higher than the façade.”
“I believe Brightwell Manor once owned all the land around, and it was a big apple farming estate, so some of those trees may be very old.”
Johnson also currently owns a Grade II listed property in Oxfordshire, The Old Farm House at North Weston, near Thame. He bought it with his then wife Marina Wheeler for £640,000 in 2003 and most memorably came out in an ‘Xchanging’ branded hoodie to serve journalists tea in August 2018 during the scandal about him comparing Muslim women to letterboxes.
Featuring what Country Life’s Carla Passino called “true blue tiles,” Johnson – who got to keep the £1.25 million crib as part of his February 2020 divorce settlement – placed the 2,659 square foot property for rent for a sum of £4,250 per month through Strutt & Parker in April 2021. It is not known whether he intends to keep The Old Farm House or whether he’ll still be able to continue to bed down at the Knightsbridge residence of Lord and Lady Bamford that he has most recently been calling “home.”
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party.
During his time married to Marina Wheeler, Boris Johnson lived much more modestly. Clearly, his ambitious and avaricious current wife Carrie would never contemplate living in a somewhat shabby former farmhouse.During their time in Downing Street, the Johnsons lived-it-up during lockdowns with their mates. Aside from boozing and bopping to ABBA with Henry Newman and Josh Grimstone, this grasping pair grabbed at least £30,000 of organic loot from their mate Lady Bamford’s Daylesford Organic. It was delivered by bike and van and no doubt, once in residence at their new mansion, they’ll be getting a hell of a lot more dropped off from the Gloucestershire emporiums of Daylesford.The Very Reverend William Inge KCVO FBA lived in the house for 30 years. He was born in Yorkshire, nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature three times and was also a trustee of the National Portrait Gallery from 1921 until 1951. A “strong proponent of the spiritual type of religion,” Inge was nicknamed “The Gloomy Dean” because of his pessimistic views and of social welfare he claimed: “It penalized the successful while subsidising the weak and the feckless.” Boris Johnson will no doubt take inspirtation from this in his writing in what was once his study.
The Names & Numbers – Brightwell Manor, off Brightwell Street, Brightwell-cum-Sotwell, Wallingford, Oxfordshire, OX10 0RT, United Kingdom
February 2023 – Listed as “sold subject to contract” on Rightmove with the purchaser being Boris Johnson at a price of circa £4 million ($4.8 million, €4.5 million or درهم17.7 million), The Guardian reports.
November 2022 – Featured in The Times and touted as being an example as to “why Americans are buying up Britain’s country estates.”
November 2019 – Offered for sale for £5 million ($6 million million, €5.6 million or درهم22.1 million) through Hamptons International and featured in Country Life.
1971 – Sold for a sum unknown by William Inge’s sons to a family who continued to own it until its recent sale.
Of them, Penny Churchill observed: “They hadn’t been long installed in their new home when, one day, they saw walking up the drive the distinctive figure of a former Government Minister, who – figuratively if not literally – whipped out his cheque book and invited them to name their price.”
“However, having only just found the right house for them and their five children, they had little hesitation in declining their visitor’s generous offer. Now, 50 years on, a similar approach would perhaps be more favourably received.”
1954 – William Inge died at the house aged 93. He is buried in the graveyard St Agatha’s, the adjoining church to the property.
1950s – Extended by The Very Reverend William Inge KCVO FBA (1860 – 1954), its then owner. Of him, Penny Churchill observed: “[Inge was] an eminent theologian and writer, who was nominated for the Nobel Prize for Literature on three occasions. He served as Dean of St Paul’s from 1911 until 1934, when he retired to live at Brightwell Manor, dying there 30 years later.”
9th April 1952 – Listed Grade II by Heritage England.
1933 – Offered for sale for £2,000 or the equivalent of £11,300 today ($13,600, €12,700 or درهم50,000 today)
1910s and 1920s – Penny Churchill stated: “Brightwell Manor remained part of a thriving estate until the outbreak of the First World War, after which it was sold a number of times as casualties mounted. A report in Country Life on March 27, 1920, announced the sale of Brightwell with six acres of land, describing it as ‘an historical and commodious Georgian Residence of very attractive appearance, having extensive views over the famous Berkshire Downs. The pasture land here is of considerable value, letting readily at £4 an acre.’”
1600s – The earliest Tudor part of the house is constructed as a “modest farmhouse modest farmhouse on the surrounding farming estate, being gradually gentrified until, towards the end of the 18th century, the symmetrical Georgian front was added. A red-brick coach house, latterly converted to a two-bedroom cottage, was added in the 1840s,” Penny Churchill suggested.
Pictures of ‘Bungling Boris’s’ new country crib…
This ain’t Chequers, but it ain’t too shabby either.The drawing room, in its current condition, resembles something like that of the home of Polly Urquhart in the 1980s BBC bonkbusting classic ‘Howards’ Way.’ No doubt, Lulu Lytle will be drafted in to deck this room out in a somewhat more gaudy shade of gold.The dining room has tones of Liberal Democrat to it that the Johnsons will no doubt want to erase.This is presumably the room where ‘The Gloomy Dean’ wrote many of his works. Will it be the place where ‘Bosie The Clown’ is actually inspired to finally finish any of his?Perhaps the calamity formerly known as Carrie Symonds will take to the piano in this sitting room and bash out some of ABBA’s tunes when visited by the pugnacious pair she allegedly nicknamed “the gays” that are Henry Newman and Josh Grimstone.Another sitting room clearly has sofas that are more of the colour of Sir Keir Starmer currently. It also features a fireplace with a tiny painting above it that would be more at home in Phillip Schofield’s broom cupboard.The kitchen is decidedly basic and still present is a 1930s AGA stove; that presumably won’t be that off-putting to the Johnsons given that this pair of grifters can rely on Lady Bamford to supply them with freebies and ready-made organic meals from Daylesford whenever they want.This staircase hallway has been wallpapered with a print that will remind the former Prime Minister of that that adorns the Pugin-esque Palace of Westminster.If Mrs Johnson wants to inspire her husband to finally put pen to paper, she could cram these shelves with relevant literature.A bedroom for Boris? This wood-panelled sleeping chamber will likely become the ‘Baby Dada’ of children unknown’s place where he and his wife rest their wicked heads.Another of the many bedrooms features a sofa that was clearly bought at Ikea. Lulu Lytle will have that straight in the skip.The house adjoins St Agatha’s church. Will the former Prime Minister become a regular there and will he attend with a view to seek redemption for his many, many, many crimes whilst in office?The gardens are flat and vast and are noted for the apple trees planted generations ago. ‘Carrie On Regardless’ might be able to develop a sideline in making cider using them or perhaps she’ll start making apple pies.The moat of Brightwell Manor could prove useful if Boris Johnson is forced to face visits from the anti-Brexiteer Steve Bray or climate change campaigners such as Greta Thunberg.Aside from the main residence, the building comes with an annexe and cottage also. Perfect for when good old Dominic Cummings wants to come round for a weekend outing; it’d save him the drive to Durham, after all.The house, seen from the side, is all front and no trousers. The Georgian element that gives it grandeur is actually not the prime part of the property; a bit like Boris Johnson himself, in fact.Viewed from a drone, the nigh on 5-acre ‘estate’ backs onto open countryside and has a vast area of gravel to the front; perfect for visits from the convoys of limousines of oligarchs like Lord Lebedev.Set back from the village but near enough to the pub for ‘BoJo’ to escape his wine chucking wife when required, Brightwell Manor has the privacy from the press a former premier will require yet gives him the ability to walk down the drive to ‘pull a John Gummer’ with a BSE burger at the garden gate if ever that might be required.Tennis anyone? The former Prime Minister can perhaps woe his next love or lover on the property’s court.A floor plan of the new home of the most loathsome leader of the Conservative Party.Seen on GoogleMaps… This will no doubt soon get blurred for the sake of privacy.Heritage England’s map will no doubt be vamoosed also.
In cultivating a new variety of snowdrop Joe Sharman – known to many as ‘Mr Snowdrop’ – has brought joy to ‘galanthophiles’ everywhere and made himself £1,850 from just one bulb also; amusingly there’s even a variety named ‘John’s Y-Fronts’
It’s always great to improve one’s grasp of etymology and this morning I learnt about a word that describes a charmingly endearing collection of people. That word? Galanthophile.
A noun of 19th century origin that takes the snowdropgalanthus’s taxonomic name from the Greek gala, galkt ‘milk’ and antho- ‘flower,’ those that so enthusiastically collect these “magical and really special” bell-shaped flowers are known as galanthophiles.
The official flower for January birthdays and brought to Britain by the Romans, the “milk flower of the snow” – as it is sometimes described – is said to symbolise hope, purity, innocence and sympathy. It is the first flower to bloom at the end of winter and though Victorians associated it with death and bad luck, on Saturday, The Guardian’s Steven Morris charmingly reported on “hordes of galanthophiles” descending on Buckland Monachorum on the edge of Dartmoor in Devon this week to “take in the sight of a beloved flower that this time of year provides a vivid reminder than warmer, cheerier seasons are ahead.”
Grown by Cottenham, Cambridgeshire plantsman Joe Sharman (AKA ‘Mr Snowdrop’) of the Monksilver Nursery, ‘Golden Tears’ received 55 bids and finally hammered down to a buyer “unidentified.” It was listed as:
“A narrow-flowered yellow pterugiform with a very large mark and bright yellow ovary. Very beautiful and distinct. Quite different from Golden Fleece. Exceptionally vigorous. 25cm. The result of a deliberate cross by me using the same parents that created Golden Fleece. First time sold by us on eBay only named 2 weeks ago. Only one for the season.”
In 2015, in an interview with The Guardian – clearly the paper with the most enthusiasm for snowdrops on the planet – Joe Sharman concluded:
“They come up early in the year when nothing else is growing, so if you have the kind of brain that needs lots of things to think about, you focus in.”
“They seem to be almost infinitely variable. You collect the 10 you recognise, then you realise that you can recognise 20 and it just goes from there. I don’t think there is another group of plants quite like it.”
Pictured top – Joe Sharman (right) and the now famous £1,850 flower he has spent years cultivating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQv7kHDHb5E
Britain’s leading botanist by far Dr Shirley Sherwood OBE – the widow of the late buccaneering businessman and one-time owner of hotels including the Cipriani in Venice and the Venice-Simplon Orient Express train service also James Sherwood – is a noted enthusiast on the subject of snowdrops. In December 2021, this delightful lady took to YouTube to discuss a painting of the flowers by Susan Ogilvy and commented: “I love snowdrops. I have lots in my garden and we have a very particularly version of the snowdrop. Whole groups of people, clubs of people who like snowdrops and grow every single kind they can think of. I think there are many, many varieties and of course there are wild snowdrops too.” Of her painting, she endearingly declared: “This is a lovely painting and it justifiably is one of the favourite ones in my collection.”Speaking to the ‘Daily Mail’ yesterday, gardening writer Val Bourne remarked of the bulb sold of eBay: “[It’ll] go under the knife. They’ll cut it into 20 pieces and start selling individual plants. They’ll get their money back in three or four years. It’s a mad hobby.” Going further previously, Mr Sharman commented: “Security is a big problem. I know people who have opened their gardens and had everything stolen. I don’t open my garden or nursery. But stealing snowdrops is like stealing a Van Gogh. If it’s rare, all the galanthophiles will know who propagated it and where it was stolen from.” In 2019, two men were arrested for stealing 13,000 bulbs from the Walsingham Estate in Norfolk and amongst famous collectors are Lord and Lady Heseltine. The former Deputy Prime Minister under John Major has accumulated over 700 varieties at Thenford House in Northamptoshire in his “garden of major importance.” Whether they have the variety named ‘John’s Y-Fronts’ is unknown.Anyone who picks an endemic variety of the plant in the national park will be fined £5,954 ($8,070, €7,113 or درهم29,600, 110,000 Turkish Lira) according to a report published in the ‘Hurriyet Daily News’ in February 2022. The fine has risen from £4,330 ($5,870, €5,174 or درهم21,600, 110,000 Turkish Lira) last year and of why, Halil Ernalçacı, the head of Mount Spil Nature Park, told the paper: “Our visitors should be cautious when they walk in the park. They should look for where they take their steps.”Artist, botanist and horticulturist Edward Augustus Bowles (1865 – 1954) of Myddleton House, Enfield, London was a well known “snowdrop enthusiast.” In January 2013, the blog ‘Plant Heritage’ delved into his connections to the flower after visiting a snowdrop sale at his former home.
Types of Snowdrops
Snowdrops bloom from September through to March and peak in January and February. Amongst the many types – there are in excess of 1,700 in the collection of Joe Sharman alone – are:
Galanthus ‘Dionysus’
Named after the god of the grape harvest, winemaking, orchards and fruit.
Galanthus ‘Elwesii”
Named after H. J. Elwes, an English plant collector who found the original plants in Turkey. Its leaves “neatly fold inside the other” and its “flowers have two green spots on the inner petals, which sometimes fuse together.”
Galanthus ‘Fly Fishing’
Features a “long, slender pedicel (stalk) that looks like a fishing rod.”
Galanthus ‘Golden Fleece’
Joe Sharman spent 18 years developing this and sold a bulb of this variety for £1,390 ($1,884, €1,661 or درهم6,920).
Galanthus ‘Golden Tears’
A new variety and record breaker in terms of the £1,850 ($2,508, €2,210 or درهم9,210) price Joe Sharman sold it for, this variety features a “narrow-flowered yellow pterugiform with a very large mark and bright yellow ovary” and is noted as “very beautiful and distinct” and “exceptionally vigorous.”
Galanthus ‘Ivy Cottage Corporal’
“Features two green Vs resembling a corporal’s stripes.”
Galanthusnivalis ‘Norfolk Blonde’
Rather like a blonde bimbo, this snowdrop features “pale leaves and pale yellow flowers” and has a “long ovary” also.
Galanthus ‘Ophelia’
Named after Shakespeare’s tragic young noblewoman of Denmark who ends up in a state of madness that ultimately leads to her drowning.
Galanthus ‘Nothing Special’
Modestly named though lauded by Joe Sharman as “one of the best forms I have selected,” this “very clean white and wonderfully scented” snowdrop is supposedly “vigorous” also.
Galanthus ‘Primrose Warburg’
Described as a “dainty snowdrop with yellowish leaves” and named after the “legendary galanthophile Primrose Warburg.”
Galanthus ‘Trumps’
Described as having “an elegant flaring pagoda shape” and thankfully has nothing to do with the 45th POTUS of the same name.
Galanthus ‘Wendy’s Gold’
Described as “far more vigorous than [other] yellows.”
Galanthus ‘John’s Y-Fronts’
This variant is described as “small, late, neat, single with a very clearly Y-shaped mark on inner.” It has grey leaves. Could it’s name have been inspired by the former British Prime Minister John Major’s “underpant episode” with Edwina Currie where he allegedly tucked his shirt into his allegedly grey Y-fronts?
After Ghislaine Maxwell has had bail denied FIVE times and last week lost a bid to dismiss sex trafficking indictment, she would do best to give up and seek a plea bargain
Most people, when in a hole, realise the folly of their ways and eventually stop digging, but the grubby alleged sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell is certainly far from most people.
A one-time ‘bestie’ of aristocracy, dynastic tycoons, politicians and royalty, this mucky madam has now failed in all five of her attempts to get bail. This is hardly surprising given she has been deemed a flight risk due to having multi-millions in assets, has been known to use pseudonyms to hide her identity and possesses multiple passports.
Last week, making matters worse and no doubt yet again annoying the US district judge presiding over her case, mucky madam Maxwell attempted and failed to get the case against her dismissed on the basis of the recent overturning of Bill Cosby’s sexual assault conviction.
Justifying why this was quite rightly kicked out, ABC News reported: “Judge Nathan said Ms Maxwell had not been promised she would not be prosecuted, as the Supreme Court said Mr Cosby had been.”
“The judge also rejected Ms Maxwell’s arguments that prosecutors waited too long to charge her with sex trafficking between 2001 and 2004, saying the US Congress’s 2006 elimination of the statute of limitations applied retroactively.”
“Lawyers for Ms Maxwell said her case was similar because she had been immunised under Epstein’s 2007 non-prosecution agreement with federal prosecutors in Florida, in exchange for pleading guilty to Florida state prostitution charges.”
“Ms Maxwell had testified in a since-settled [for an undisclosed sum] £36 million ($50 million) civil lawsuit against her by Epstein accuser Virginia Giuffre, and the lawyers said it was unfair for prosecutors to use that testimony to build their criminal case.”
“But Judge Nathan said the cases were not the same, and adhered to her April ruling that Epstein’s agreement did not bind the Manhattan prosecutors or cover accused co-conspirators.”
“Mr Cosby’s case ‘focused on whether prosecutors were required to honour a promise the court found to be clear in the absence of a formal plea agreement,’ Judge Nathan wrote.”
“’Even if this court agreed with the analysis in [Mr Cosby’s case], that opinion sheds no light on the proper interpretation of the NPA in this case,’ she added.”
Elsewhere, making matters even worse, meddling Maxwell – whom The Mail on Sunday today revealed has sold her Kinnerton Street, Belgravia mews house for £1.75 million ($2.4 million) to a “Hampshire-based property developer” Stuart Robinson with the help of the disgraced solicitor Malcolm Grumbridge – stuck her oar into the pending civil case against Prince Andrew in September.
Offering to give evidence on the royal’s behalf might seem to some as a generous act of continued friendship, but in fact it is of utterly no help at all to the stupidly silent Duke of York. Maxwell, facing trial herself in November is anything but a useful defence asset for him, really should keep her oar out and if she had any sense she’d stop getting the likes of Brian Basham and Jay Beecher from peddling nonsense and focus on saving herself from an 80-year sentence by just seeking a plea bargain. Like father, like daughter, given this stubborn woman’s past performance and arrogance, of course, she won’t.
Pictured top: Deviant daughter of ‘Bouncing Czech’ Robert Maxwell grinning like a Cheshire cat at her then home with his holiness the Gyalwang Drukpa in June 2014.
The Maxwell family have enlisted the pompous PR peddler Brian Basham and the extremist publication ‘Politicalite’ contributor Jay Beecher as part of her efforts. Pictured here with her pension plundering, spy father and brother, the family have also focused their efforts on spreading nonsense about the case through their ridiculous RealGhislaine.com website.Pension plundering spy Robert Maxwell tellingly once announced: “I have a beautiful daughter and she’s just like me.” Quoted in Kirby Sommers’ detailed new examination of the mucky madam – ‘Ghislaine Maxwell: An Unauthorized Biography’ – this quote sums up exactly why the ‘Bouncing Czech’ named his gin palace after her and it is exactly why this wicked woman morphed from socialite to the dark side of being a mucky madam for the thankfully now croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.The ‘bathtub bonk pad’ formerly owned by Ghislaine Maxwell – 66 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia, London, SW1X 8ES – has been sold, with the assistance of shamed ex-solicitor Malcolm Grumbridge, to financier and property developer Stuart Alec Robinson of Belmore House, Belmore Park, Belmore Lane, Upham, Hampshire, S032 1HQ.
9-year-old girl’s prize-winning “little pot of sunshine” conserve goes on sale in Fortnum & Mason after beating 3,000 others in the world marmalade awards; 99-year-old’s grandson meanwhile claims marmalade helped her beat coronavirus
Now, going to the other end of the age spectrum, the paper shared news late last week that a 9-year-old child, Flora Rider from the Isle of Wight, has become the youngest ever winner of the world marmalade awards.
Having “impressed the judges with her marmalade made from Seville oranges and orange blossom from her local supermarket… which was made on only her second attempt” and beaten off other amateur and professional makers also, Rider’s conserve has now gone on sale in Fortnum & Mason.
Commenting of the winning entry, the ritzy store’s website now is offering the creation and shares of it:
“Selected from over 3,000 entries from all over the world, Flora Rider’s Seville Orange & Orange Blossom Marmalade has been crowned the winner of the 2021 Dalemain Marmalade Double Gold Awards.”
“Described by 9-year-old Flora as a ‘little pot of sunshine,’ this joyous jar is bursting with fresh citrus notes and a bright and honey-like flavour. Seville oranges harmonise with subtle hints of orange blossom water to create a delicately floral spread. Finely cut and light in colour, this marmalade pairs perfectly with breakfast pastries or dolloped atop fresh yoghurt.”
“Flora’s homemade marmalade has been commercially produced and will be exclusively sold at Fortnum & Mason and Dalemain throughout the year – with 50p from each jar going to Hospice at Home Carlisle & North Lakeland.”
“[I was] very excited, over the moon and really amazed to have won the prize.”
“I enjoyed shredding the peel and filling the jars, but best of all I enjoyed eating the finished marmalade. I liked the thought of adding flowers to my marmalade, so using orange blossom seemed like a good idea. The taste was very nice, with a lovely floral and honey flavour.”
To order Flora Rider’s marmalade – priced at £5.95 for a 340g jar – click here. Also available from the store is last year’s winning entry, Jonathan Hamel Cooke’s Dark & Chunky Marmalade – also priced at £5.95.
In April 2020, nonagenarian Rita Reynolds of Bramhall, Stockport’s grandson told the ‘Guardian’: “I don’t know how she got through [and recovered from coronavirus]. I don’t think she has ever eaten a vegetable or fruit. She lives on marmalade sandwiches and biscuits. But she’s never smoked or really drank.” Mrs Reynolds is plainly like a cat with nine lives. In the Second World War, aged 21, she supposedly refused to go into an air raid shelter “because she wanted to read her book.” She instead hid under a table at her home in Liverpool and amazingly survived when a bomb landed right outside.
Flora Rider beat off over 3,000 entries from 30 countries around the world – including Canada, the Czech Republic, Australia, Japan, Kuwait and Brazil – to win the 2021 Homemade Marmalade Awards. Of her entry, the judges declared: “A first time marmalade maker, Flora and her family, like so many in the UK, decided to get creative in the kitchen during the winter lockdown – with phenomenal results! Her entry absolutely bowled over the judges and was unanimously declared the winner, not just of the Children’s category, but of the whole competition.”
Going further of the winning entry, Dalemain declared: “Flora’s winning marmalade was ideal for the ‘floral’ feel of the day, and organisers hope it will be the perfect accompaniment to a gorgeous summer ahead.”
Nikolay Kalinin joins those mocking the “godawful silliness” of the One Britain, One Nation campaign and slams it as anything but true patriotism
It seems that because five years have passed since Brexit, the government has decided that the only problem that now needs solving is the public’s supposed lack of patriotism – and so they have decided to make muscular unionism an official government policy.
The first hellish component of this ‘plan’ is the One Britain, One Nation day, named after the campaign group of the same name, which according to its website aims to “create a strong, fair, harmonious and a proud British Nation – celebrating patriotism and respect for all our people.”
The campaign has even produced a song which was performed by schoolchildren, which was so disturbing that even GB News host Kirsty Gallacher stated: “I don’t want my children singing that”, even going as far as calling the tune “propaganda”.
The campaign promoted much-expected backlash on social media, with many comparing the campaign to something from the Hitler Youth, while LBC host James O’Brien said on air: “If I played you (the song) before Brexit and said that the Department of Education is encouraging all children in the country to sing this song at school, I don’t think you would have believed me.”
It seems that the government haven’t learnt their lesson, because American-born Tory MP for Beaconsfield Joy Morrissey announced recently on Twitter that she will be campaigning alongside the British Monarchist Society to “put a portrait of Her Majesty in every home, company, and institution that would like one” adding: “It is time to rediscover our pride in being British!”
As expected, the response on social media was dominated by condemnation, with many calling out the campaign as pointless at a time when the pandemic is the issue that needs focusing on. Journalist Ian Dunt responded: “If these people had the slightest idea what there is to be proud of about Britain, they’d not be coming up with this godawful silliness.”
The indy100 meanwhile wrote in their article about the issue: “The Tory party are almost becoming post-ironic. Perhaps Morrissey is angling for the Queen to bestow some sort of honours upon her, to which we say – nobody likes a teacher’s pet.”
I am not against the idea of putting up pictures of the monarchy in one’s home; we all have the personal freedom to do that, and I respect it. However, when an MP from the ruling party starts a campaign aiming to put up pictures in every person’s home, this begins to look like an act of utter ridiculousness and an attempt at indoctrination.
Morrissey also seems to have forgot to read the room, because a recent YouGov poll revealed that only 4% of the people in the UK have a portrait of the Queen in their house, which means that the public is simply not interested in the idea of having a picture of the monarch put in their sitting rooms. What Morrissey has done here is fail the most important task for an MP – to know, understand and react to what her electorate wants and needs.
Regarding the One Britain, One Nation campaign, I am not against teaching children about their country. Obviously, children should learn about their country and the communities within it, but why should the government force the schools to teach this romantic image of the nation to the children, when they could just give them all of the knowledge and let the children decide how they feel about their country? That would be much better, because not only does it reflect the idea of personal freedom, but it also allows children to strengthen their critical thinking.
I also find it extremely ironic how these ludicrous announcements were made at the same time when Savanta ComRes published a poll revealing that even five years after the EU referendum, the people in this country are still divided over the issue, with the results showing that 51% of the people would vote remain if the referendum was conducted in 2021.
If the government truly cares about uniting the people of this country, why not try harder to fix the divide between the more prosperous parts of the south and the less well off parts of the north? Why not, also, instead, give more money to local councils as opposed to spending it on a ‘royal yacht’ that will be nothing but a showboat for Boris Johnson’s ego? That would be true patriotism.
