Tag: charming

Flipping Randy Andy’s Bathtub Bonk Pad
WORLD EXCLUSIVE – Ghislaine Maxwell’s Belgravia bonk pad – where Prince Andrew allegedly shockingly had it off with Virginia Roberts in the bath in 2001 – is relisted for £2.6 million just months after it sold for £1.75 million in April 2021; we share the first ever seen photos of that famous tub and ask: “Does its presence add value?”

Everybody in the world has now seen the infamous snapshot of Prince Andrew with his chubby fingers wrapped around the waist of his alleged victim Virginia Roberts at the Belgravia home of Ghislaine Maxwell in 2001. Nobody has ever discredited that photograph and nobody has proven that the bathtub in the bathroom that adjoined the first floor landing where they were snapped was anything other than a full-sized 5-foot-6-inches long.

Everyone in the world has also seen the floorplan of the first floor of Miss Maxwell’s former London home, but now, today, The Steeple Times can exclusively share an image of that very bathtub in which the lady now known as Virginia Giuffre claims the Duke of York supposedly had sexual relations with her on 10^th March 2001. That still unrenovated home, 44 Kinnerton Street, is now on the market for the sum of £2.6 million – a sum £850,000 higher than it sold for less than a year ago.

Whilst everybody in the world now knows that the now convicted mucky madam daughter of the pension pot plunderer Robert Maxwell faked a photo of herself at an In-N-Out burger joint in August 2019, photographs of the now somewhat tired bathroom in London, SW1 prove it to be a space where two people could easily have cavorted. In sharing them, they show Prince Andrew’s porky pies for exactly what they are. Two people could very easily have fitted into that rotten tub.

Offered by an exotically named firm of real estate hawkers who go by the name of Wellbelove Quested, the 1,573 square foot, three-storey former home of the mucky madam Miss Maxwell is marketed as “charming” and having “plenty of potential.” It is described as “requiring updating,” but unsurprisingly no mention is made as to its tawdry past. A photograph of the very bath where ‘Randy Andy’ allegedly bonked on that fateful night bizarrely features in the marketing material, but somewhat more carefully imagery of the landing area has been left out.

Asked by The Steeple Times for comment, a leading local estate agent – whom wished to remain off the record – remarked:

“Any previous sale at either £1.45 million or £1.75 million seems suspiciously low. At £1,653 per square foot today, it sounds about right in terms of an asking price, although some buyers might be deterred by The Nags Head being so close.”

“As for the activity that may have gone on inside there, I am of the view it adds a bit of interest to the marketing, but neither adds to nor detracts from the value.”

“Equally, now I see these pictures, it looks to me that Prince Andrew, Ghislaine Maxwell and Virginia Roberts were all standing in the doorway of the front bedroom of the first floor that day. It begs the question: ‘Why?’”

Contacted earlier in the day by a reader of The Steeple Times who alerted us to the sale subsequently, Andrew Quested of Wellbelove Quested somewhat lackadaisically opined in response via email:

“My clients made a good purchase. I think you will find a lot of properties have a past resident that is not always good… I do understand your thoughts [about the links to Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein and the Duke of York], but these things pass.”

Occasional contributor to The Steeple Times Jack Hine, however, took a different view. When approached Friday, the Hove, Sussex and Belgravia, London based dealer in vintage memorabilia stated:

“That bath, whatever it’s murky heritage, has royal pedigree and it’s got a grimy, unrestored appearance. ‘Where there’s muck, there’s bloody brass,’ I say.”

“There’s always going to be ghouls out there with a desire for such, so I advise whoever buys 44 Kinnerton Street to most certainly not to put what could become one of the most costly bathtubs in history ever in the skip.”

“Prince Andrew’s antics in this tub may well cost him well north of £10 million and I’d suggest that the new owner of this house will get tens of thousands for that tawdry tub. I’d definitely put in a bid.”

This photograph of the first floor bathroom at 44 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia proves one thing – those that said that the tub is too small for two are nothing but loopy liars.

When asked about what occured on the night of 10th March 2001 in the first floor bathroom at her Kinnerton Street mews house, Ghislaine Maxwell responded: “[Virginia Roberts] then characterized [sic] things took place in my bathroom in the bathtub itself. The tub is too small for any kind of activity whatsoever.” The picture of that very same tub used in marketing material by Wellbelove Quested proves exactly to the contrary.

The floor plan shared by the likes ‘The Daily Mail’ and ‘The Sun suggested the first floor bathroom at the house to be 7-foot, 4 inches by 7-foot, 2-inches. Floor plans shared by Wellboved Quested suggest that the room is actually 8-foot, 4-inches by 8-foot, 2-inches. There was most definitely plenty of room for two…

Why did they stand on the first floor landing when the only entertaining areas were downstairs? Were they progressing upwards? Was Ghislaine Maxwell leading her friend Prince Andrew and a concubine to a bedroom? Who took the photograph? Many questions remain unanswered, but it’s now clear that the bathtub could easily have fitted two.

A floorplan of 44 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia. In it, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s home is clearly shown to be a place where ‘public’ entertaining took place on the ground floor, whilst ‘extracurricular’ activities took place on the upper two floors.

These photographs of 44 Kinnerton Street, taken in July 2021, provide proof that the bannisters seen in the March 2001 photographs remain inside said property. The setting in which Prince Andrew and Virginia Roberts were captured was indeed most definitely genuine. In the same month, the new owners of the property displayed a poster at 44 Kinnerton Street for a festival that was to be held in East Anglia from 31st July 2021 to 1st August 2021. The event, the EA Festival, was hosted at Hedingham Castle – home to Jason and Demetra Lindsay – in Essex and had a line-up that included model and advocate Arizona Muse, film director Mike Figgis, ‘Countdown’s’ Susie Dent, sex commentator Rowan Pelling and comedian Josh Berry. The same open doorway also showed something else… The very same bannister that was shown in the photograph Prince Andrew, Virginia Robert and Ghislaine Maxwell appeared in.

In November 2020, ‘The Steeple Times’ featured bathtub mats featuring Prince Andrew’s face and the caption “nonce” that were available for sale through Redbubble.com. Priced then at £23.61 ($32.30, €28.29 or درهم118.61), these 61cm by 43cm polyester microfiber items clearly proved very popular as they are no longer on the site. Clearly, there is a market for bathtub memorabilia that references the Queen’s supposed favourite son.

The Names & Numbers – ‘Mucky Madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s Bathtub Bonk Pad’ – 44 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia, London, SW1X 8ES, United Kingdom
- 14^th January 2022 – Property website TheMoveMarket.com values the house at £2.11 million ($2.88 million, €2.53 million or درهم59 million), a sum 19% lower than the current asking price for the unrenovated property.
- January 2022 – Estate agents Wellbelove Quested offer the mews house for £2.6 million ($3.6 million, €3.1 million or درهم1 million), an extraordinary increase of 49% on the sale price just 270 days earlier. The house is offered on a lease of 127 years that commenced on 24^th June 2014 and previously on their website Wellbelove Quested had marketed the house for a higher price of £2.75 million ($3.738 million, €3.283 million or درهم13.731 million).
- July 2021 – The Steeple Times reports on repainting work to the outside of the house being underway. An open door reveals the infamous staircase bannister to still be in-situ.
- 19^th April 2021 – Records confirm the house to have been sold for £1.75 million ($2.39 million, €2.09 million or درهم79 million).
- March 2021 – Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyer offered cash from the “pending sale of her £1.45 million ($2 million, €1.74 million or درهم28 million)” home as part of a package when they sought bail for the mucky madam for a third time, the Daily Mail reported. This sum was 44% lower than the September 2020 asking price and 400% higher than the January 1997 purchase price.
- March 2021 – A Knightsbridge estate agent told The Steeple Times: “Knowing the street as I do, 44 is one of the smaller houses which I assume it to be a little over 1,000 square foot in size. Depending on the condition, I estimate the freehold value to be circa £1.8 million to £2 million ($2.5 million to $2.7 million, €2.2 million to €2.4 million or 9درهم million to درهم10 million).”
- December 2020 – Members of the Maxwell family attempted to raise finance on the property but are not successful, The Steeple Times learns from a financier with connections to the Maxwell family and their representatives. They were rejected, were rejected on the basis of the “toxicity” of their familial name.
- September 2020 – Estate agents Aylesford list 44 Kinnerton Street for sale for £2.6 million ($3.6 million, €3.1 million or درهم1 million) on (it was claimed) a freehold basis, a sum 797% than the January 1997 purchase price. They subsequently later reduce the asking price to £2.1 million ($2.9 million, €2.5 million or درهم10.5 million) “according to a leading property expert.”
- August 2019 – According to Insider, a woman with “long hair [who] appeared to be in her 60s” was seen entering the property. She “denied that the socialite owns or lived in the house, claiming instead that the elusive socialite lived elsewhere down the street.”
- 10^th March 2001 – Prince Andrew allegedly had sexual relations with 17-year-old Virginia Roberts in a bathroom in the property. He continues to deny this occurred whilst claiming that a photograph of himself with Miss Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell on the first floor of building is a fake also.
- 22^nd January 1997 – Ghislaine Maxwell paid £290,000 ($396,000, €347,000 or درهم5 million) for the three-storey leasehold mews house. It is situated at the heart of the Duke of Westminster’s Grosvenor Estate.
- 1989 to 1995 – Ghislaine Maxwell is known to have resided at 69 Stanhope Mews East, South Kensington, London, SW7 5QT. Her father bought it for her two years before his mysterious death and she reportedly “groomed and befriended Minor Victim 3 in London, England, between approximately 1994 and 1995… Maxwell introduced Minor Victim 3 to Epstein and during those interactions, Maxwell encouraged Minor Victim 3 to massage Epstein, knowing that Epstein would engage in sex acts with Minor Victim 3. During those massages, Epstein sexually abused Minor Victim 3” at that very property. It was sold for £267,000 ($365,000, €320,000 or درهم3 million) on 15^th March 1995 and then again for £1.75 million ($2.39 million, €2.10 million or درهم8.77 million) on 30^th August 2019.
And finally… Some other images of the ‘Mucky Madam’s’ crib

The ground floor sitting room has a somewhat sadistic quality about it. Rather like a doctor or dentist’s waiting room in its styling, here is a room where the mucky madam no doubt just prepped her victims for their prey upstairs. How many chairs does one need for such a purpose?

This place is anything but homely. It is, in fact, scary.

A kitchen that wasn’t for a coffee and a chat; a kitchen where saintly types like Delia Smith and Mary Berry most definitely don’t belong. Ghislaine Maxwell is personified as a woman as clinical to her core.

The mucky mistresses’ master bedroom. God only f$%king knows went on in this creepy crib.

Another supposedly innocent looking room that was likely a torture chamber.

The bedroom Andrew, Ghislaine and Virginia posed next to. It is currently set up as an extra sitting room rather conveniently, but doesn’t look like a place anyone has bothered or would even to sit.

The house even has a roof terrace. It looks f$%ing rotten, just like its former owner, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, daughter of murdering pension pot plunderer Robert Maxwell.

And finally, back to that bloody bathroom… It even has double shower. It’s hardly small, is it? It’s perfectly feasible that Prince Andrew and Virginia Roberts could have very easily fitted in there also.
January 15, 2022
Hideous Hervey & Grubby Ghislaine
Pointless prattler Lady Victoria Hervey yet again cashes in on her connections with the deceased nonce Jeffrey Epstein and his mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell

Fresh from having spouted a bag of bollocks about coronavirus and admitting she “had no idea what was really going on” with her ex-lover Prince Andrew and a potential lover who thought her “too old” Jeffrey Epstein, contradictory cretin Lady Victoria Hervey is putting herself about on the interview circuit to bang on about Ghislaine Maxwell.

Our Wally of the Week in March 2021 and Moron of the Moment in June 2020 – whose attempt at running a boutique flogging knickers with Jane Blight in 2000 turned into a debt ridden disaster – this week claimed that mucky madam Maxwell “demonstrated” how to give a blowjob to her in the 1990s and told her “dirty jokes” in addition.

Going further and plainly after as much as she could ‘cheque in’ for her tacky tales, the ultimate ‘TwIt Girl’ and dimwitted dope Lady Victoria reminisced also about Ghislaine Maxwell’s ‘little black address book’ and claimed her incarcerated chum was “very pally” and “at ease” with Bill Clinton also.

Described by the by contrast lovely, late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson as “unpleasant” and “a right snob” previously, cash craving Lady Victoria cryptically concluded:

“Ghislaine always struck me as someone full of life and was always jetting around somewhere fabulous. She always had this air of mystery. She never gave away too much but she gave away enough you wanted to find out more.”

What must be remembered is this: Ludicrous lush Lady Victoria Hervey hasn’t actually seen Ghislaine Maxwell in years. Of their last meeting, she previously ridiculously and completely incorrectly remarked: “I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.” Nobody will be hiring her as a clairvoyant anytime soon. Next!

Pictured top: Party princess turned pokey inmate Ghislaine Maxwell (left) and her blowjob educated subject Lady Victoria Hervey munching on an ice cream (right).

Classic clangers from former ‘It Girl’ Lady Victoria Hervey
- “I am Lady Victoria Hervey – it doesn’t get more British than that.”
- “Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter].”
- “Unless it’s champagne, I can’t handle it.”
- “I’m an A-list celebrity and this is a C-list party.”
- “I do have a day job.”
- “My career always goes much better when I haven’t got a man.”
- “A baby is easy – you hand them over to a nanny!”
- “I’m kind of into star signs and I want my baby to have a sign that’s compatible with mine. It’s to plan though… We’ll just have to see… We’ll do the embryos and then I’ll figure out which month I’d like the baby to be born.”
- “I’m not stupid. I’m not a dumb model.”
- “[I aim to become] the next Kate Winslet – but with class.”
- “I have had four past lives, three of them as a man. I was a composer in 17th-century Paris, I made materials in India and in Ancient Greece I was a famous politician. In Ancient Egypt I was keeper of the oils for the Pharaoh’s wife, and I love oils so it all kind of fits.”
- “I feel I’ve aged 100 years in lockdown. I’ve had Botox, of course.”
- “What annoys me is when these families have got like 12 children and we’re paying for these kids… They work out that they make more money being on the dole than having a job, they just laze around.”
- “The real irony of this is that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”
- “Travelling is in my blood, and so is liking luxurious things and spending.”
- “I haven’t given up on men, there are a few of them around, but I keep leaving every city I meet them in.”
- “Everyone from Europe wants to buy houses in LA.”
- “I was too old for Jeffrey Epstein… [He seemed] very charming… He was a very well-liked guy.”
- “I’m not one of those kind of girls, I don’t like going to dinners with ten models invited… I was very young and impressionable, Jeffrey was a very charismatic man.”
- “I haven’t seen [Ghislaine Maxwell] since September [2018] at a friend’s baby shower… I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.”
- “I had no idea what was going on [with Jeffrey Epstein]… It’s extraordinary it’s the case, it’s a wild story.”
- “I suddenly thought, I’m just Victoria Hervey… Horrible.”
- “I don’t want to make enemies.”
Most people wouldn’t brag about being linked to the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, but Lady Victoria has gone as far as to brag that he rejected her.

Lady Victoria (or ‘Lady V’ to those who consider this noxious nuisance a mate) has suddenly become an expert on Ghislaine Maxwell. One is simply left wondering how much she’s been paid for what is frankly not so relevant testimony about the mucky madam.
June 27, 2021
Courting Expletives

Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of the nation; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward

Proof that the use of expletives in public documents has plainly become completely acceptable came in the form of a judgment emailed late last week by the official Courts And Tribunals Judiciary website to subscribers to their civil judgments list.

Concerning the matter of social housing provider Jigsaw Homes Tameside against a woman plainly in need of an ASBO named Emma Rivers, the document from the County Court at Manchester detailed a breach.

Somewhat surprisingly presented without a single asterisk and packed with expletives, the half page summary very clearly and very simply read:

“On Friday 26^th March 2021, the Defendant admitted the following breach of her injunction order – 1. On 31^st December 2020, around 4pm, the Respondent used abusive, insulting and foul language towards Linda Price whilst stood in Sellars Square. This included ‘You wanna control your fucking grandkids you stupid old fucking cow’ and ‘Or what, or fucking what you stupid old cow, giving your fucking crap out all the time who do you think you are?’ and ‘Shut up you stupid cow’. It is alleged this conduct constitutes a breach of clause 1 and 2 of the Order dated 29^th April 2020.”

How utterly charming an indication on the state of Great Britain this truly is and plainly how lovely a woman Emma Rivers genuinely must be.

Courting Expletives – The half page document that shows Emma Rivers to be nothing other than a potty mouthed harridan. Given the creosoted creature and notorious napkin slapper Dawn Ward doesn’t live far away, one wonders if this fellow criminal hasn’t paid her a visit to train her in how to be the ultimate example of the use of foul language.

Courting Expletives – The email sent to subscribers to the Courts And Tribunals Judiciary Civil judgments list on 8th April 2021.

Courting Expletives – Emma Rivers plainly has form: Previously in March 2020, the ‘Tameside Reporter’ commented on recent cases at Tameside Magistrates’ Court and stated: “Tameside magistrates have banned Emma Rivers from the road for 17 months for drink driving and fined her £120. The 37-year-old, of Sellars Square, Droylsden, pleaded guilty to the charge after being stopped on Stockport Road, Denton, on November 17 last year. She was found to have 60 microgrammes of alcohol in 100 millilitres of breath. The legal limit is 35. Magistrates ordered her to pay £85 court costs and a £32 victim surcharge. The driving disqualification can be reduced by 17 weeks if a driving course is successfully completed.”

April 14, 2021
Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Anne Robinson

Anne Robinson’s appointment as the ‘Countdown’ host is a breath of fresh air and the carping ‘woke’ should pipe down about it

In spite of a somewhat soppy iNews journalist named Benjamin Butterworth getting in a terrible tizzy yesterday and ludicrously suggesting her to be someone who played on “cynical tropes” and “brutality,” Anne Robinson’s appointment as the first female host of Countdown is actually a breath of fresh air.

Whilst the ‘woke’ whingebags amongst us will undoubtedly bleat about ‘The Queen of Mean’s’ supposed “vindictiveness” towards single mothers and gay people being unacceptable in this age, the ‘sweet pea’ that is actually the most charming delight in reality that is Miss Robinson is someone to be celebrated.

It must be remembered that Robinson – whose up-down-and-back-up-again life story was grippingly told in her 2001 Memoirs Of An Unfit Mother – is someone who went from living on £300 per week to being worth over £50 million in spite of enduring both alcoholism and a painful custody battle. An example to us all in that she turned her personal life and personal fortunes around, here also is someone with both wit and wisdom.

Commenting on her appointment this week, Robinson amusingly told Channel 4’s Steph’s Packed Lunch:

“I am beyond thrilled to be joining Countdown. The show is almost as old as I am and just as historic. I am particularly excited to be working alongside the show’s two other formidable women.”

“Worryingly, Susie and Rachel are not only very smart but younger, prettier and thinner than me. Sadly, there’s no time for another face lift so I’ll have make do with this old one.”

“Three Clever Girls Do Countdown! Don’t you love the sound of that?”

“I am a crossword nut so the Countdown’s conundrums I can make sense of. But the adding up and taking away – I can’t go much further than working out the fee once my agent takes his cut.”

Here is someone with grit and spirit and here is someone who doesn’t moan and groan; here, in fact, is just what we need in these depressing times. It is time for all to hail the return of Anne Robinson and for all to celebrate the rebirth of honest directness.

Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Anne Robinson was the anchor for the popular BBC quiz show ‘The Weakest Link’ from 2000 to 2012. It deservedly made her a fortune and when it ended, rightminded folk everywhere lamented its loss. Her return to our screens now is most definitely something to look forward at a time when the nation is still enduring the most miserable of lockups.

February 18, 2021
Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady

Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she has utterly nothing new to say

“The arrogant, self-interested baroness,” “gutter gossip hack” and “all-round nasty piece of work” are just some of the descriptions that have deservedly stuck to Karren Brady (AKA The Right Honourable The Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge in the City of Westminster CBE) over the years.

Also widely mocked for her links to “dildo floggers” and as “Mrs Blowjob or No Job,” Brady used her column in today’s The Sun on Sunday to yet again moan about people making “jibes” against her.

Referencing an alleged incident long ago with Sky News’ football anchorman Richard Keys, Brady bleated to readers:

He was later overheard talking about me when he thought the microphone was off.

He said: “See charming Karren Brady this morning complaining about sexism? Yeah. Do me a favour, love.”

How condescending is that? Needless to say, I have never forgotten it. And I doubt I ever will.

In the case of this acid-tongued harpy, nothing other than stones and glass houses come to mind. Now, please, Karren, just do us all a favour and put a sock in it in 2021.

“Overpainted Aunt Sally” Karren Brady on…

Her destroyer of jobs and the high street mate ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green…

“The most dynamic, the most energetic, the most relentless business-person I have ever come across, a whirlwind of energy and ideas.”

The nearly as controversial businessman Mike Ashley:

“I feel sorry for a guy like Mike Ashley… He tried his best… I feel tremendous sympathy for Ashley.”

Her “precarious work-life balance”…

“[It’s a] balancing act… [I feel] constant guilt over being a working mother.”

Her being investigated in connection with corruption in football…

“I was in a very dark place… It was gut-wrenching… I didn’t want to have to justify myself to people.”

The East End of London…

“A hotbed of racism.”

Condoms in the Birmingham City boardroom…

“I found it floating in the toilet… And it became this big whodunit. I mean, in the boardroom toilet of all places.”

Her “wickedly indiscreet newspaper column”…

“It’s what I leave out that would make your hair curl.”

Unsurprisingly getting abuse given her own vile tongue…

“The abuse I get is vile. And so much worse now than it’s ever been.”

Herself…

“At 23, I had skin as thick as a rhino… I don’t have any fears.”

“I dare to put my head above the parapet, to have a mind and a voice of my own and to plough my own furrow.”

“[I am now] one of the most highly sought-after motivational speakers in the world.”

More modest than the late Mother Theresa, one is simply left asking: “What on earth was it about the very wealthy woman Karren Brady that David Cameron saw fit to elevate her to the House of Lords?”

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In 2016, Duncan Bannantyne described Karren Brady as a “nasty piece of trash” and “a complete coward” after she penned a column describing him as “hilariously repulsive.” Here, this mouthy muckspreader is pictured with her disgraced bestie Sir Philip Green.

It was ludicrously announced that plain old Karren Rita Brady would be given a seat as a Conservative life peer on the House of Lords on the 8th August 2014. She had previously addressed the Conservative Party Conference in Manchester on 30th September 2013.

As this banner proves, football fans loathe her and on 6th June 2020, in yet another column in ‘The Sun on Sunday’ Karren Brady banged on about ‘missing’ Madeleine McCann before turning to sharing her bizarre belief that Big Macs are brilliant. If ever there’s been a columnist with a better ability to choose interlinking subjects, we’d argue that it was time the world was told.

January 10, 2021
Moron of the Moment – Lady Victoria Hervey

Just as ultimate dumbo Lady Victoria Hervey shows herself up in stating “Fuck Black Lives Matter,” fellow aristo Dr. Bendor Grosvenor calls for the return of objects “looted during the British Empire”

Dimwitted dope Lady Victoria Hervey just cannot help but shove her stilettos straight into the proverbial. Whether be it her short-lived relationship with “he who doesn’t sweat in Pizza Express (Woking branch’)” ‘Randy’ Prince Andrew, or flogging knickers in her long since gone-bust shop in Knightsbridge displaying the words “Yes Please” across the crotch, here is a woman with utterly no shame and an utter incapacity to accept any kind of blame for her own failings.

Formerly nicknamed ‘Toff Totty Vicky,’ Lady Victoria predictably showed herself up by banging on about her associations with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell last year. This weekend, the bubbly blonde went further in posting a picture of the defaced statute of the Confederate general Robert E. Lee in Richmond, Virginia on her Instagram page. She not-so charmingly captioned the snap: “Don’t ever tell me this is acceptable behavior [sic]. Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter].”

Described by even a fellow socialite, the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, as “unpleasant” and “a right snob” previously, “luxury is in my blood” Lady Victoria was contradicted by the Reverend Robert W. Lee IV, the general’s great-great-grandson. He “gave his blessing for the monument to be removed” on Thursday according to the BBC and asked: “If today is not the right time, when will it be the right time [to remove the statue]?”

Going further of this situation on Twitter on Sunday, though talking in the context of the related British protests, fellow aristocrat Dr. Bendor Grosvenor – a distant relative of the present Duke of Westminster and a man best known for his stint on the BBC’s Fake or Fortune? art documentary series – tweeted:

“Let the Colston statue’s removal be a prompt for councils and museums across Britain to take action to remove similar artworks from display, *as well as* returning the thousands of cultural objects looted during the British Empire. Start now. We’ve waited too long.”

Sadly, yet not unsurprisingly, Lady Victoria – whose ancestor Frederick Hervey, 1^st Marquess of Bristol ironically is best remembered as a “social reformer” and “an MP [who] voted for the abolition of slavery in 1807” – has previous form. In 2003, this ‘aristoprat’ stated: “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.”

Shame on this irrelevant ignoramus; it’s not Black Lives that don’t matter, it’s instead Victoria Hervey that doesn’t matter.

Lady Victoria Hervey with the Duke of York at a social gathering; supporter of the abolition of slavery and “social reformer” Frederick William Hervey, 5th Earl and 1st Marquess of Bristol (1769 – 1859).

Lady Victoria Hervey’s offensive Instagram post was unsurprisingly met with disdain by many. One responded: “Wait, hold up Lady are you saying Fuck Black Lives ???” Another added: “But think you got to be careful saying fuck BLM… That’s not acceptable TBH. It’s offensive.”

Dr. Bendor Grosvenor’s, by contrast, sensible tweet.

Classic clangers from former ‘It Girl’ Lady Victoria Hervey:

“I am Lady Victoria Hervey – it doesn’t get more British than that.”

“Unless it’s champagne, I can’t handle it.”

“I do have a day job.”

“My career always goes much better when I haven’t got a man.”

“A baby is easy – you hand them over to a nanny!”

“I’m not stupid. I’m not a dumb model.”

“[I aim to become] the next Kate Winslet – but with class.”

“I have had four past lives, three of them as a man. I was a composer in 17th-century Paris, I made materials in India and in Ancient Greece I was a famous politician. In Ancient Egypt I was keeper of the oils for the Pharaoh’s wife, and I love oils so it all kind of fits.”

“What annoys me is when these families have got like 12 children and we’re paying for these kids… They work out that they make more money being on the dole than having a job, they just laze around.”

“The real irony of this is that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”

“Travelling is in my blood, and so is liking luxurious things and spending.”

“I haven’t given up on men, there are a few of them around, but I keep leaving every city I meet them in.”

“Everyone from Europe wants to buy houses in LA.”

“I was too old for Jeffrey Epstein… [He seemed] very charming… He was a very well-liked guy.”

“I’m not one of those kind of girls, I don’t like going to dinners with ten models invited… I was very young and impressionable, Jeffrey was a very charismatic man.”

“I haven’t seen [Ghislaine Maxwell] since September [2018] at a friend’s baby shower… I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.”

“I had no idea what was going on [with Jeffrey Epstein]… It’s extraordinary it’s the case, it’s a wild story.”

“I suddenly thought, I’m just Victoria Hervey… Horrible.”

“I don’t want to make enemies.”

Pictured top: Lady Victoria Hervey with Ghislaine Maxwell, the alleged madam and procurer of girls for paedophile Jeffey Epstein.

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June 7, 2020
Gas & Golf

Rare example of first ever production petrol powered golf cart to be auctioned; the 1957 Jato Walker Executive, however, does not come cheap

Whilst British golfers will be celebrating that they have been allowed to get back to the game that someone (but not Mark Twain) once said is “a good walk spoiled” by the government this week, their American cousins more likely will be found touring their courses on electric golf carts when they are again allowed out.

For a wealthy sort looking for something a little different to show off with on the fairway, RM Sotheby’s have just the thing. They are currently selling a 1957 Jato Walker Executive 8-horsepower Kohler, petrol-powered golf cart.

The three-wheeled vehicle was designed by a Kansas farmer and inventor named Max Walker after he became frustrated by the fact that electric carts with batteries often failed to last an entire round of play. His project, however, was short-lived as with improvements to battery technology, electric alternatives took hold and he sold the rights to Jato Manufacturing.

Of it, RM Sotheby’s remark: “The Jato Walker Executive is a charming bit of mid-century modern design… It runs well and is a delight to drive, motoring along with ease from either seat.”

The auctioneers have set an estimate of £8,200 to £12,300 ($10,000 to $15,000, €9,300 to €13,900 or درهم37,000 to درهم55,000) for this “finely restored example” and will sell it as part of their 21^st to 29^th May 2020 ‘Driving Into Summer’ sale.

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The engine.

Another view of the vehicle.

May 14, 2020
Wally of the Week – Vanessa Branson

At a time when her billionaire brother Sir Richard is deservedly taking a pounding for trying to rape the state, multi-millionairess Vanessa Branson could have perhaps postponed the launch of her self-indulgent autobiography

It’s not Vanessa Branson’s fault that she’s the sister of the all-round dickhead Sir Richard Branson, but it is she alone whom made the choice to gauchely publicise a book about her anything but modest life during the worst pandemic since Spanish Flu.

Serialised, as only it could be in the top paying publication for such guff, the Daily Mail, Vanessa Branson’s One Hundred Summers: A Family Story has a stench of what the Scottish would call “guff” about it. Aside from bemoaning “sulking about” buying a tidal island complete with 9 houses in the Inner Hebrides – which she terms “Neverland Found” – this privileged woman boldly touts her book as: “Taking the reader on a journey from the dying embers of Edwardian England, through the trauma of two world wars, the hedonism of London in the 1980s and ‘Cool Britannia’ in the 1990s right up to the present day.” How utterly endearing.

Just like her self-publicising brother, this constantly crying 61-year old former art gallery owner plainly cannot get enough of herself. Here is a ramble through holidays in palazzos in Venice and trips to LA; there’s an arts festival in Morocco and there’s a second home in Sussex. Life ain’t that shabby for this woman, but all she does is moan. Her husband comes and goes (and comes and goes again and again), but with such she name-drops how Grayson Perry gave her a pot charmingly featuring the words “Marriage Wrecker” next to “images of fat middle-aged men with drooping breasts and sagging scrotums” and Tracey Emin wrote her a poem for her to use on her headboard. Its read: “Oh God you made me feel so beautiful/ And then I wanted to feel it again and again. With myself, by myself/ Never forgetting.” That’s surely enough to make anyone join in blubbering with this very, very rich multi-millionairess.

With her brattish brother condemned even by that pillar of capitalism that is The Telegraph as “Now Virgin Atlantic’s biggest liability,” Vanessa Branson could not have chosen a worse time to launch her tome. Though lauded as: “A vivid and charming tapestry of English eccentricity, fortune, fate and passion,” One Hundred Summers is more likely to ultimately be remembered just as a tale of the pathetic appendage of the deservedly most loathed man of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. Here is one book we most definitely will not be recommending as essential lockdown literature.

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May 8, 2020
Falling Down Flass

Grade II* listed Cumbrian mansion built by opium dealer and once marketed for £1.5 million for sale for just £460,000; it was also the scene of the UK’s biggest ever cannabis raid in 2012

A 23,000 square foot, 52 room, mid-19^th century Palladian mansion in the Westmorland Dales National Park is to be sold at auction – by order of the mortgagees not in possession – for £1 million less than it was marketed for in 2014. It is sadly now described as being in an utterly wrecked, vandalised condition.

The entrance elevation of the mansion then and now

The strikingly grand interiors of Flass (prior to visits from the ‘Urban Explorers’)

The completely trashed interiors of the mansion (after visits from the ‘Urban Explorers’)

Built in 1851 for wealthy merchant brothers and tea and opium magnets Lancelot and Wilkinson Dent, 8-bedroomed Flass at Maulds Meaburn, near Penrith in Cumbria was designed by architects Grey and Mair and includes furnishings by the renowned firm Gillows of Lancaster and London.

Opulent to its core and said to have featured marble fireplaces, ivory door handles and friezes with pearls, Flass remained in the Dent family until 1973. Just prior to being sold for £17,000 (the equivalent of £202,000 today) that year to a historian named Frank Walsh, the then owner Sir Robert Dent opened up an attic of the house and discovered items from the Mughal Empire that he then auctioned for the astounding sum of £220,000 (the equivalent of £2.6 million today).

Subsequently this vast stucco finished, limestone built house – complete with a Doric porte-cochère and a three-storey tower – became a care home and was then after sold in 2000 to a singer-songwriter best known for co-writing the creepy Christian crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s Devil Woman named Christine Holmes (also known as Kristine Sparkle) and her husband Paul Davies. The pair turned the property into a performing arts school.

After the couple divorced, Davies took control of the mansion but due to spiraling maintenance costs, he eventually got himself involved with a gang of drug dealers in 2011. Due to what rental agents at the time described as the house being “totally private and hidden away, with an unmatched seclusion and charm,” Davies and his five cohorts were able to grow cannabis with a street value of £5.26 million undetected until a neighbour became suspicious. He was jailed for his role in the crime for three years and eight months in September 2015.

Singer-songwriter Christine Holmes outside Flass in September 2017 (after visits from the ‘Urban Explorers’ and their having trashed her home)

Paul Davies turned Flass into Britain’s biggest cannabis farm (and got himself three years and eight months in jail for his efforts; on his conviction his representative said: “He blames nobody but himself for getting involved in this criminal business”)

The “massive scale” £5 million cannabis farm operated at Flass was described in court as “a professional setup” and having the “real hallmarks of organised crime”

Christine Holmes subsequently took back control of Flass and after trying and failing to sell the house for £1.5 million spent £200,000 on renovations to put right the damage done by the drug operation. Her bad luck, however, was not to end there. In September 2017, the Cumberland & Westmorland Herald reported that a gang of ‘Urban Explorers’ had raided the somewhat derelict building and filmed their exploits. In the weeks that followed, trespassers returned at least twelve further times and “ransacked and trashed” the once glorious residence. She told the paper:

“I was absolutely horrified when I saw [videos of the house] online. I couldn’t believe how anyone could come into my home and believe it was an abandoned building.”

“I think since then people have been staying in the building and have even been there hiding while I’ve been there. I’m petrified. These are evil people who are breaking into my home. I think it’s becoming a game to them. They are breaking in every day.”

Auctioneers Harman Healy will now offer Grade II* listed Flass along with 17.5 acres of overgrown grounds with a guide price of just £460,000+ on 30^th January. Christine Holmes no doubt will be glad if she finally gets shot of what she likely ended up considering to be the worst kind of white elephant.

Flass – The Numbers

January 2019 – To be offered at auction with a guide price of just £460,000 ($596,000, €525,000 or درهم2.2 million).

July 2014 – Offered for sale for £1.5 million ($1.9 million, €1.7 million or درهم7.1 million).

2000 – Sold for £490,000 ($635,000, €559,000 or درهم2.3 million) to the currently jailed drug dealer Paul Davies and his then wife songwriter Christine Holmes.

1998 – Reduced to £650,000 ($842,000, €741,000 or درهم3.1 million).

1997 – For sale for £750,000 ($972,000, €855,000 or درهم3.6 million).

1982 – Sold for £115,000 ($149,000, €131,000 or درهم547,000) to a retired solicitor named Malcolm Whiteside. He turned Flass into a care home which he ran with his wife Mary.

1973 – Sold by Sir Robert Dent, a descendant of the family who built the house, for £17,000 ($22,000, €19,000 or درهم81,000) to a historian named Frank Welsh.

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The garden elevation of the mansion then and now

The no doubt once glorious gardens of Flass have now gone to wrack and ruin

The entrance gates to the estate (in better days)

A plan of Flass and its surrounding land

January 23, 2019
The Talented Tinker

Actor Dudley Sutton – AKA ‘Lovejoy’s’ Tinker – passes away aged 85 shortly after giving an interview lauding the NHS

The talented actor and regular at the Chelsea Arts Club, Dudley Sutton sadly died yesterday after a short battle with cancer.

Best known for playing Tinker Dill in the brilliant BBC comedy-drama series Lovejoy in 1986 and from 1991 to 1994, Sutton most recently took the lead role in a video for the Tom Chaplin song Midnight Mass and also appeared in everything from the first production of Joe Orton’s Entertaining Mr Sloane in 1964 to Emmerdale and Eastenders.

Speaking about Lovejoy and himself in general in 2017, Sutton commented:

“It’s what they’re going to say on my obituary when I die, regardless of all the different and diverse stuff I’ve done throughout my life.”

“It’s good fun because Lovejoy is so popular throughout the world, wherever you go. But people recognise Tinker, they don’t recognise Dudley Sutton.”

Dudley Sutton (6th April 1933 – 15th September 2018)

In July, Sutton gave a video interview from his bed in the Royal Trinity Hospice in Clapham in which he spoke about the NHS. He spoke of how he was a Socialist and lauded doctors and nurses for “caring about people, caring about folk, caring about people who can’t look after themselves” and said: “Don’t let the NHS go. Don’t flog it away with all the rest of the rubbish… That’s all I’m saying.”

In a statement yesterday, Sutton’s family remarked:

“Today we’re devastated by the loss of our beautiful Dudley, who leaves a gaping hole in all our lives.”

“We’re grateful for the love expressed by friends and fans everywhere and for the extraordinary care he received at the Royal Trinity Hospice in Clapham, south London, where he went out fighting for our NHS.”

To those that encountered “this wonderfully disruptive cherub” at the Chelsea Arts Club and elsewhere, Dudley will be remembered for much more. This “neo-Wildean” actor and gent was charming, witty and fun and he added great colour to the lives of so many. May he rest in peace.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu6PoFhTrVE

September 16, 2018