Matthew Steeples explores theconundrum of how to describe cheese made from goat’s milk and shares the eclectic thoughts of everyone from Susie Dent to Alan Rusbridger, Christine Hamilton, Jay Rayner, Matthew Jukes, Mic Wright, Nigella Lawson, Matthew Wright, Tom Parker Bowles and Samantha Markle on goat cheese
At the River Café in Hammersmith, the menu references serving Rabiola Rochetta cheese from Piemonte that is made with “goat’s milk” to get around a conundrum that has “got the goat” of many over the years.
London’s most traditional establishments, amongst them The Ritz and Wiltons, avoid the pasturised matter completely. They respectively just list “artisan cheeses” and “farmhouse cheeses” on their menus, whilst the self-declared “old fashioned restaurateur” James Chiavarini, proprietor of one of J. K. Rowling’s favourite haunts in Kensington, Il Portico, told me: “I haven’t the faintest idea to be honest!” when I enquired as to his thoughts on a cheese that is rather like Marmite in being both loved and loathed.
That matter? The debate over whether a restaurant or grocery store should list cheese made from goat’s milk should as “goat cheese” or whether it should be “goat’s cheese” or “goats cheese” or “goats’ cheese” even. Also described by the French as “chèvre,” one respondent to my questioning argued that it should, in fact – like “soured” rather than “sour” cream – be written-up as “goated.”
Detested by multiple respondents to my inquistive questioning including charity fundraising supremo Lorraine Burns, LBC Weekend Breakfast presenter Matthew Wright and TalkTV Crime Suspect host Peter Bleksley, this contentious cheese made with milk supplied by goats attracted the attention of Channel 4’s Countdown’s ‘Dictionary Corner’ guru Susie Dent. Her synopsis? “Oxford Dictionaries give both goat cheese and goat’s cheese. I usually go for the latter.”
Though other views (and plenty of brands with differing approaches) follow below, ‘La Dent’ – as The Observer’s restaurant critic Jay Rayner referenced this “God in these matters” – will now, excuse the pun, be the “goat-to” Queen of “goat cheese.” This cheesy conundrum can now finally be put out to pasture allowing grammar pedants to return to waging war on Waterstones (which should surely have always remained Waterstone’s).
In Broadstairs, lovers of the product made with goat’s milk can enjoy a bring-and-join-in ‘Cheeseboard Tuesday’ gathering weekly every Tuesday from 2pm until 5pm hosted by the delightfully delectable Sam Hawkins at The Magnet, 37 Albion Street, Broadstairs, Kent, CT10 ENE. Other cheese varieties, condiments and bread will be available.
The legendary lexicographer Susie Dent – “That woman in Dictionary Corner” – was first to respond to my query about the GOAT/GOATS/GOAT’S/GOATS’ conundrum. The author of ‘Words From The Heart’ remarked: “Oxford Dictionaries give both goat cheese and goat’s cheese! I usually go for the latter.”Notable food critic for ‘The Observer’ and famous face on the telly box Jay Rayner responded to the same question via email. He observed: “I won’t deny: it’s one I hesitate over. So much so that I couldn’t immediately tell you what I put in the copy I file. So I had a look at a few of the reviews in which I’ve mentioned it and it’s clear our house style is ‘goat’s cheese’. Just as it would be ‘cow’s milk’. That said I’ve had a Quick Look online and my conclusion is that, as with so much in language, there is no definitive answer. You could make a plausible argument for three of the four. I’m just not sure you could argue for ‘goats cheese’ without any possessive. That said La Dent is god in these matters and I’ll happily defer to her.”Fellow food critic Tom Parker Bowles, also on Twitter, argued: “I’d prefer goat’s cheese. As it is the cheese of a goat. Although obviously the end product is the result of many goats’ milk. So could be either. Goats cheese, on the other hand, is plain wrong.”The Cambridge Dictionary, giving examples of usage, declared the noun “goat cheese (also goat’s cheese)” to mean “cheese made from goat’s milk, usually soft and white.” Elsewhere, the Milking Goat Association share of goats in Britain: “The UK dairy goat industry is made up of 40-45 thousand goats producing just less than 34 million litres of milk commercially. This compares to a UK dairy herd of 1.9 million cows producing just less than 15 billion litres of cows’ milk (2014/5). Though significant, goat dairy remains a specialist market with goat milk representing less than 0.2% of the volume of cows’ milk produced in the UK. Goat cheese (UK and imported) is now in the top 10 cheeses consumed in the UK. Goats’ milk produced in the UK is primarily sold as butter, cheese and yogurt.” Clearly both luminaries in their respective fields favour the use of GOAT in regard to the cheese produced using goat’s milk.Author and screenwriter Samantha Markle takes the view that it is GOAT’S CHEESE and argued: “Goat’s milk. I’ve never heard anyone say ‘I don’t drink cow milk.’ I have only heard ‘cow’s milk’ (possessive). It logically follows that since cheese is made from milk, we would say goat’s milk/goat’s cheese… I think.”Former editor of ‘The Guardian’ turned editor of ‘Prospect’ Alan Rusbridger hesitatingly observed: “I’ve always thought goats’ cheese. But I may be wrong.”Equally, legendary British battleaxe and media personality Christine Hamilton shared: “I have no idea, but let’s go for goat’s cheese or goats’ cheese – it must be one of those!”Nigella Lawson stated: “I generally go for goat’s cheese, though I feel goat cheese is also ok.”Taking an entirely different view was Charlie Baker of ‘The Fence’ magazine. He opted for GOATS’ over all the other options.Doyenne in raising funds for cancer charities Lorraine Burns from Broadstairs, Kent responded and made clear that she’d solved the matter for once and for all: “What a contentious little question indeed. However, I believe that goat’s cheese is correct – the cheese produced using the milk of goats and I won’t stand for any other usage. Please inform all other recipients of the email, there is no need to respond, the issue is resolved.”Writer, media critic and ‘Conquest of the Useless’ newsletter creator Mic Wright was his usually to the point self. He stated: “It’s goat’s cheese or goat cheese. Never goats cheese. And chèvre if you’re fancy or French.”Colin Steeples asked: “Is it not about how many goats produced the milk for the cheese but what kind of animal produced it? Goat’s cheese for me.”Ex Scotland Yard detective turned TalkTV ‘Crime Suspect’ host and author Peter Bleksley didn’t have a view on the apostrophe, but he did have a clear view on the cheese: “It’s rank. You’re welcome.”Former 7/7 counter-terror Scotland Yard detective turned investigator and author of ‘Finding Suzy’ David Videcette shared: “It’s not goat’s cheese when it’s on my plate, moreover by the time it has arrived in my plate it’s more likely to be goats cheese. But when I order it’s goat cheese, obviously.” Some may find that analysis a little cryptic.Restaurateur James Chiavarini – owner of the much loved Il Portico on Kensington High Street and the adjoining more recently opened La Palombe –was more honest than most. He declared: “I haven’t the faintest idea to be honest!”The Grammar Monster website favours “goat’s” over other options.Screenwriter turned ‘Byline Times’ founder and executive editor Peter Jukes just believes the cheese to be “great… however you spell it.”Respected wine writer Matthew Jukes went against the grain of the dictionaries and favours GOATS’ cheese.Restaurateur and bon viveur Rex Leyland – former proprietor of Royal Hospital Road, Chelsea institution Foxtrot Oscar – was more interested in the smell of the cheese. He suggested “cheese from goats” as an alternative description.Joining those believing the dairy product to be “disgusting” was LBC radio host Matthew Wright. He shared: “Anything that smells like the cloven-hoofed beasties turns my stomach.”
Nine notably different examples of labelling on packaging of cheese made from goat’s milk… Illustration of utterly no consistency
Tesco opt for GOATS’ cheese and were featured in an August 2013 article in ‘The Guardian’ by David Marsh. Included in their ‘Mind Your Language’ section and titled: “If you can’t use an apostrophe, you don’t know your shit,” Marsh said of the retailing giant: “Tesco, Britain’s biggest supermarket, is in a class of its own when it comes to apostrophe abuse. You’d think that someone among its half a million employees would know better than to put up signs saying ‘Kids toys.’ It gets worse in the clothing department: a simple ‘Kids’ seems fair enough, but the signs nearby are a scarcely credible ‘Mens’ and ‘Womens.’ The meaning may be clear but the sloppiness demonstrated by this insult to the intelligence of its customers makes you wonder what else the company gets wrong. Sell-by dates? Prices? I wonder how far I’d get with a job application to Tesco if I wrote something like this: ‘Id really like a job at Tescos, I think its a great company, it sell’s everything from kids toys to Mens. p.s I also like the BOGOF’s.’”Waitrose & Partners opt instead for GOAT’S and market their “British” offering as “mild, creamy and fresh tasting.”Marks & Spencer also opt for GOAT’S and currently sell an “English soft” that is “mild and creamy” that is “crafted at the Lubborn Creamery, Somerset.”Sainsbury’s, however, follow Tesco and go for GOATS’ also with the “sweet and mild” cheese made in Somerset.Another product offered online, “Capricorn” has no apostrophe at all. It is simply GOATS cheese.A firm named Olympus simply opt for GOAT as labelling on the packaging of their “traditional” offering.On Twitter, @AdzWhitcombe shared an image with me of a goat with a pipe on the packaging of a “smoked goat cheese” called “The Smokin’ Goat.” He argued: “It would be bad for pregnant women to eat this particular cheese judging by the cover image.”Another brand, Melis, to promote its “white soft cheese in brine” that is supposedly “a wonderful cheese with a rich taste and mild goat’s [note the apostrophe] aroma” as GOATS MILK CHEESE. Confusion clearly reigns at this particular firm when it comes to apostrophes.Wildly Delicious opt for a more artisan look and follow the Oxford and Cambridge Dictionaries suggestion with plain old GOAT. They do also reference their cheese as “chèvre” however and thus keep both the Brits and French satisfied.
The varied thoughts of the Twitterati on this contentiously cheesy topic….
Alleged shoplifter turned moneybags man Richard Madeley can certainly now afford to actually pay for Krug champagne after landing a £500k pay day with ITV
Tellybox twerp Richard Madeley well and truly hit the jackpot this morning with revelations that he’s getting £200,000 to appear on ITV1’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! this month as well as an annual salary of £300,000 to present the same channel’s Good Morning Britain going forward from December.
First reported by the MailOnline’s Eve Buckland, news that motormouthed Madeley will replace Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain “alongside a revolving team of guest presenters” was immediately condemned on social media. According to Buckland, Judy Finnigan’s annoying husband “is expected to host for two or three days a week.”
Assessing why the former This Morning co-host – whose cringeworthy car crash Alan Partridge-esque moments we feature below – decided to take on the role, a source commented:
“[Richard had a] heart to heart [with Judy]… [He] has always maintained he would never do GMB full-time, as he loves his life as it is.”
“But as the weeks have gone by, and he’s proven a constant hit with viewers, he’s really got into his stride and has been enjoying it more and more. He polls really well with fans and ratings have steadily been on the rise again over the past six months.”
“After a couple of meetings with ITV bosses, he was offered a full-time contract. And after consulting with his family, especially wife Judy, he decided ‘sod it’ – and to go for it.”
On Twitter, one user, Matthew Payne, declared of the channel’s decision: “Money for old rope. A sad, biased, ill-informed prat” whilst another, Rob McGuire, added: “[He’s just] a tactless, ignorant, rich, Tory clown.” Going further, quite rightly, John Slater concluded: “The bottom of the barrel has well and truly been scraped.”
‘Moneybags Madeley’ – whose washed-up wastrel wife is best known for necking rather than sipping her booze and flashing her tits at awards ceremonies – must be doing cartwheels. He’ll no longer have to worry about being accused of shoplifting champagne when heading down the booze aisle at Waitrose. The Krug’s most definitely now on him.
‘Moneybags Madeley’ – as he will henceforth also be known – is often compared to the inept comedy character broadcaster Alan Partridge. They not only look alike, but also are equally incompetent and tactless. Twitter users regularly condemn Romford, Essex born Madeley as “daft” and as a “pompous prat.”‘Moneybags Madeley’ once dressed up as Ali G to present ‘This Morning.’ It was later voted “one of the worst moments in television history.”In April this year, we revealed that the one-time classmate of ‘Spreadsheet Phil,’ the former Tory chancellor Philip Hammond, Madeley was being followed by Ghislaine Maxwell’s PR team on Twitter and that he’d written two columns in the ‘Daily Express’ in which he expressed “empathy” for the currently incarcerated alleged mucky madam.
‘Moneybags’ Madeley’s Finest Moments
On his son’s wedding
“There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”
Of his daughter
“Sorry Chloe, but you were an accident and you know it!”
In conversation with President Clinton
“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”
Of women
“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”
Of alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell
“The sharks are circling; they smell blood in the water… Cynics would say the [FBI] agency is playing a long game, seeking to sway the minds of jurors in advance of Maxwell’s trial next year… Innocent until proven guilty? That honourable credo is in shreds.”
“Firstly, consider the conditions under which Ms Maxwell is being held. They are truly grim… It would take a heart of stone not to feel empathy for another human being suffering what amounts to mental torture. To coin a phrase: you wouldn’t treat a dog like that.”
“But it’s not sadism, or premature punishment ahead of a verdict. No; there’s calculated purpose behind this pitiless regime. But, here’s another prediction… it will. They’re trying to break her.”
On elephants
“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”
To a man crying after paramedics saved his life
“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”
Showing sympathy for people who died in quicksand in Morecambe Bay
“Yes, what an awful way to die.”
In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus and lockdowns
“We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”
“There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”
“We must learn to live with coronavirus.”
“If I had a bell, I would ring it… Only 59 people who have been double vaccinated and without any other serious underlying health problems, died from COVID, out of 50,000 deaths in England, this year.”
“I have to say that the majority of people are surprisingly forgiving [to government representative Steve Barclay], and are actually saying that they understand that the reason for some of the mistakes wasn’t malpractice but scientific ignorance – we didn’t know enough… But on the whole, you seem to be getting away with it – as far as our viewers are concerned.”
Of old women skipping
“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”
Of wanting to be black
“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”
To Keira Knightley
“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”
Of an autistic teenager
“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s ‘Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”
To a caller
“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”
Judy Finnigan’s decision to defend footballer Ched Evans – jailed for 5 years in 2012 for allegedly raping a 19-year-old – on ‘Loose Women’ in October 2014 shocked the nation. Responding at the time, Katie Russell, of Rape Crisis England and Wales remarked: “Judy Finnegan’s comments are really unfortunate and could potentially cause some hurt and distress to the many survivors of sexual violence who will inevitably have been watching ‘Loose Women’ and who will read and hear her views reported.”‘Moneybags’ Madeley and Finnigan are often pictured out boozing. Often, ‘Mummy Finnigan’ looks a little beyond pissed.
Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.
As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding
Normally it’s his boozed-up, ‘mummy figure’ and all-round washed-up wastrel wife Judy Finnigan who makes the headlines for such things as tittie flashing, but, today, motormouthed madman Richard Madeley made headlines in The Sun after ludicrously claiming he “suffered from PTSD after his son’s wedding.”
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is something defined by the NHS as “anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events” and its causes are listed on their website as such things as:
Serious road accidents.
Violent personal assaults, such as sexual assault, mugging or robbery.
Serious health problems.
Childbirth experiences.
Though messed-up maniac Madeley soppily suggested worrying about his son’s nuptials had been “so choppy,” his comparison of his situation to such yet again proves this utter nutter to be nothing but a blithering berk. “How very dare he insult those who’ve fought in war zones and survived rape and torture,” commented one especially irate reader in an email to The Steeple Times.
‘Deranged Dicky’ – Please keep taking your happy pills; you plainly need ‘em, old chap.
Richard Madeley’s ‘finest’ moments
On his son’s wedding
“There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”
In conversation with President Clinton
“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”
Of women
“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”
On elephants
“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”
To a man crying after paramedics saved his life
“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”
In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus
“We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”
On lockdowns
“There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”
Of old women skipping
“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”
Of wanting to be black
“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”
To Keira Knightley
“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”
Of an autistic teenager
“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”
To a caller
“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”
When Richard Madeley dressed up as Ali G to present ‘This Morning,’ it was later voted “one of the worst moments in television history,” ‘Digital Spy’ reported.On another occasion, attention seeking Madeley dressed up as his very own wife. Clearly, this crackpot’s ‘mummy’ issues are genuinely really an issue.In recent days, Twitter users – aside from suggesting it as resembling a cross between Theresa May and Sean Bean – have argued that the new Diana, Princess of Wales actually could be of Richard Madeley. No doubt, television’s ultimate twerp will actually be annoyed that it’s not his name on the statue instead; one could imagine a monument to his ‘genius’ in Trafalgar Square potentially also.
The telly-box twerp is regularly compared to Alan Partridge and can be relied upon to play the fool at the drop of a hat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcx3FUarNiI&t=1s
Alleged shoplifter Madeley’s ‘mummy’ wife, Judy Finnigan, is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended a footballer later convicted of rape by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person… She had far too much to drink.”
16-year-old Samantha Martin’s enthusiasm for horse racing and her involvement in the racing site “for young people, by young people” ‘Rein It In’ is captivating
Unlike so many who go online on Twitter especially, Samantha Martin is a fine example of someone actually using social media for good.
This 16-year-old from Leicestershire contributes to the horse racing site “for young people, by young people” Rein It In and states that she became interested in the sport after watching Channel 4’s coverage of it with her grandfather.
In her biography on the online news site dedicated to young people enthusiastic about the turf, Miss Martin shares: “Smad Place and Mulcahys Hill are my all-time favourite racehorses. I realised I wanted a career in racing when I was about nine or ten. I would love to be a journalist on TV as well as for a newspaper.”
On Rein It In, Martin’s interview subjects thus far have included Oli Bell and Ed Chamberlin and there also she’s shared thoughts on young people getting into racing and previews of the upcoming big races as well.
Elsewhere on her popular Twitter handle – where she is followed by nearly 4,000 other accounts – Martin gives daily updates about the sport and when faced with quite uncalled for criticism sensibly responded:
“After I got abuse for tipping Monkfish at 1/3, I made a promise to myself that I would never let trolls stop me from doing what makes me happy. I love discussing the racing with you all and 99% of the time Twitter is an amazing place. Don’t let that 1% ruin it. Enjoy the racing x”
Sadly, her statement that: “My biggest aim is to be the first female jockey to win the Grand National” has now been surpassed by the brilliant female jockey of 2021 Rachael Blackmore so spectacularly winning at 11/1 at Aintree last month, but be sure to watch out for the always enthusiastic Samantha Martin – there’s going to be a lot more to come from her.
Anne Robinson’s appointment as the ‘Countdown’ host is a breath of fresh air and the carping ‘woke’ should pipe down about it
In spite of a somewhat soppy iNews journalist named Benjamin Butterworth getting in a terrible tizzy yesterday and ludicrously suggesting her to be someone who played on “cynical tropes” and “brutality,” Anne Robinson’s appointment as the first female host of Countdown is actually a breath of fresh air.
Whilst the ‘woke’ whingebags amongst us will undoubtedly bleat about ‘The Queen of Mean’s’ supposed “vindictiveness” towards single mothers and gay people being unacceptable in this age, the ‘sweet pea’ that is actually the most charming delight in reality that is Miss Robinson is someone to be celebrated.
It must be remembered that Robinson – whose up-down-and-back-up-again life story was grippingly told in her 2001 Memoirs Of An Unfit Mother – is someone who went from living on £300 per week to being worth over £50 million in spite of enduring both alcoholism and a painful custody battle. An example to us all in that she turned her personal life and personal fortunes around, here also is someone with both wit and wisdom.
Commenting on her appointment this week, Robinson amusingly told Channel 4’s Steph’s Packed Lunch:
“I am beyond thrilled to be joining Countdown. The show is almost as old as I am and just as historic. I am particularly excited to be working alongside the show’s two other formidable women.”
“Worryingly, Susie and Rachel are not only very smart but younger, prettier and thinner than me. Sadly, there’s no time for another face lift so I’ll have make do with this old one.”
“Three Clever Girls Do Countdown! Don’t you love the sound of that?”
“I am a crossword nut so the Countdown’s conundrums I can make sense of. But the adding up and taking away – I can’t go much further than working out the fee once my agent takes his cut.”
Here is someone with grit and spirit and here is someone who doesn’t moan and groan; here, in fact, is just what we need in these depressing times. It is time for all to hail the return of Anne Robinson and for all to celebrate the rebirth of honest directness.
Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Anne Robinson was the anchor for the popular BBC quiz show ‘The Weakest Link’ from 2000 to 2012. It deservedly made her a fortune and when it ended, rightminded folk everywhere lamented its loss. Her return to our screens now is most definitely something to look forward at a time when the nation is still enduring the most miserable of lockups.
Alleged shoplifter and ‘modern day Dorian Gray’ Richard Madeley attempts to convince ‘Mirror’ readers that his relationship with alleged old soak ‘mummy’ Judy Finnigan is “normal”
In a feature titled “Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan’s heartbreaks – affair, baby loss and health battles” by ‘showbiz features writer’ Frances Kindon, no mention was made of Madeley’s possible penchant for helping himself in supermarkets, but instead the focus was on how the couple first met.
Of an epic encounter that led to “the most solid union in showbiz,” Kindon gloriously remarked: “Their paths first crossed in a newsroom back in 1982 when Judy, 72, was asked to mentor a younger Richard, 64, and greeted him with the words, ‘Hello… I’m your Mummy’” before then adding that their own daughter finds “the amount of time they spend together is not normal.”
Elsewhere in the puff piece, Kindon reveled in ‘Dick and Dude’s’ “natural chemistry” and celebrated their “whole lot of red-hot chemistry” and positions as “the nation’s favourites.” She referenced “hurtful rumours” about them and then even allowed “sexual oversharer” Madeley to give a riposte. In it, he remarked:
“We’d gone away for a week to Cornwall with our children, and the mobile went in the car.”
“It was our bosses at Granada saying a terrible rumour was being put around that you’re in a self-help institution for men who batter their wives because you’ve beaten Judy, that Judy’s in a drying-out clinic and that the children are in care. We were in the f**king car.”
“We tracked it to the source… A particularly poisonous person. He’d leaked these smears and they were never published because we would have cleaned up in a libel case. But the one thing that lingered like a piece of floating sewage is this thing that Judy drinks. And she doesn’t.”
“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”
Of women
“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”
On elephants
“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”
To a man crying after paramedics saved his life
“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”
Of old women skipping
“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”
Of wanting to be black
“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”
To Keira Knightley
“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”
Of an autistic teenager
“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”
To a caller
“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”
Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Judy Finnigan is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended footballer turned convicted rapist by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person.” Of his victim, she hypocritically then added: “She had far too much to drink.”
Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.
Channel 4’s decision to show a documentary provocatively titled: ‘Is Covid Racist’ tonight is neither clever nor appropriate argues Matthew Steeples
In a move plainly designed to engender themselves to the ‘woke’ generation at the same time as seeking to stoke the fury of Laurence Fox and the dregs of whatever, if anything, that is left of the BNP, tonight at 9pm Channel 4 will show a 60-minute documentary titled Is Covid Racist?
Whilst statistics have consistently shown cases of coronavirus to have been proportionally higher in some areas of the country with higher BAME population percentages, this show will seek to highlight how “Covid-19 has killed a higher number of people of colour among Britain’s frontline National Health Service workers,” according to Television Business International.
Of this, Channel 4’s commissioning editor for factual, Harjeet Chhokar, concluded: “We don’t really know why,” but in so doing entirely misses the point. Even if Covid-19 is actually more prevalent in one community or ethnicity over another, that does not make it “racist” as to be “racist” is a personal choice and one of personal prejudice.
Nobody in their right mind – whatever their colour or creed unless they were a halfwit with a desire to drink bleach – would opt to infect themselves with this potentially deadly disease and thus Channel 4 should be jolly well ashamed of yet again heading down the road of political correctness gone crackers.
Is Covid Racist? –In May, DW News shared an 11:50-minute report on YouTube. It suggested that “the virus does not discriminate,” but did point to a rise in xenophobia as a result of it. In essence, the virus itself is not racist, but racists will still be racists.Is Covid Racist? – In March, on Medium.com, a Malaysian theologian and columnist named Alywn Lau asked: “Is Trump being racist when he calls Covid-19 the ‘Chinese’ virus?” He concluded: “C’mon, folks. 45 isn’t the most pleasant dude in history, but let’s give it a break with the hyper-PC-induced accusations.”
Land Rover converted into a ‘gastrowagon’ for television chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s first television series heads to auction
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall headed “for open country to spend some time eating off the fat of the land in a trawl through Britain’s wild larder” in his debut 1997 series for Channel 4, A Cook on the Wild Side.
During his quest for wild ingredients without a penny in his pocket other than for fuel, he found fame and also drove a 1965 Land Rover Series II 109” wheelbase that was converted into what is endearingly known as a ‘gastrowagon’ circa 1982.
Built specifically for the series, the vehicle was not only where the television chef and Eton contemporary of David Cameron cooked and ate, but also where he slept – in an upturned boat with a mattress perilously perched on the roof.
In the series, Fearnley-Whitingstall – whom is also widely known by the nickname ‘Hugh Fearlessly-Eatsitall – took his ‘Gastrowagon’ everywhere from the New Forest and Scotland to Trafalgar Square in London. It subsequently sadly got left to rot, but has more recently been “fully restored by Land Rover specialists John Brown 4×4 to ‘like new’ condition” according to auctioneers Bonhams.
Of this travelling cook’s paradise, they declare: “The roof-mounted boat is the sleeping quarters, while the back of the Landie features a full kitchen with a two-burner hob, oven, and fridge, all in very good working order and covered by a wind/waterproof canopy. Ancillaries include running water for the shower and wash basin as well as a ‘vintage’ ice cream maker. The bulkhead has been signed by Hugh since the restoration was completed and the vehicle is said to run and drive like new.”
Bonhams have set an estimate of £25,000 to £35,000 ($33,200 to $46,500, €28,000 to €39,200 or درهم121,900 to درهم170,700) for the 2.25-litre Land Rover ‘Gastrowagon’ and will sell it at their Bicester Heritage sale on 11th December.
A socially distanced Christmas lunch on the road anyone?
Pictured top: The ‘gastrowagon’ and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall – whose ‘Hugh’s Fish Fight’ campaign we featured back in August 2013.
Moving on homes owned by the newsworthy – including properties owned by society snapper Sir Cecil Beaton, novelist Jackie Collins and film producer-director Peter Minns.
A Tennis Court Teardown
Paris Hilton’s dad Rick’s realty firm Hilton & Hyland has just launched to the market the former Beverly Hills home of the late Jackie Collins OBE (1937 – 2015) for £13.4 million ($16.95 million). They don’t say much about the bonkbuster author’s residence of some 25 years other than: “Secluded behind gates and foliage lies a great opportunity to purchase a tennis court… Home could use a remodel or rebuild.” Miss Collins and her second husband art gallery owner Oscar Lerman paid £2.4 million ($3 million) for 5,269 square foot 614 N Beverly Drive in 1991.
Limited Living in the ‘Hampshire Highlands’
https://vimeo.com/358107497/b6629a2217
Reduced in price from £4 million ($5.1 million) in September 2019 to £3.73 million ($4.72 million) now through agents BCM, The Oast House at Hartley Mauditt in the South Downs National Park in Hampshire was converted by film producer-director Peter Minns in the 1990s.
This delightful ‘mini estate’ looks like something that could have been in of The Darling Buds of May and comes with 76.28 acres of land suitable for ‘stick and ball’ polo, but the problem is this – a planning stipulation dictates that the majority of the main house is only allowed to be on a “short-term” basis whilst two cottages are for “holiday or seasonal worker use” and a bungalow is limited to “anyone fully employed in agriculture.”
Minns is best known for having produced programmes including Mad Cows & Englishmen for the BBC, A Question of Sleaze – The Neil Hamilton Story for Channel 4 and Citizen 2000 – which followed the lives of twenty children who became 18 in the year 2000.
Moving on Sir Cecil’s Seat
£4 million ($5.1 million) is sought for Queen Anne Reddish House in the Chalke Valley in Wiltshire by agents Savills. Society snapper Sir Cecil Beaton CBE, owner from 1947 until his death in 1980, described it as: “My dream home” and an “exquisite country seat” and between 1987 and 1999, it was home to the I Want to Be Free singer Toyah Wilcox. Aside from 6 acres of glorious gardens, the Grade II* listed house comes with two cottages, a range of follies and a water meadow. Locked-down Instagrammers have been moving all over its marketing brochure and sharing photos online, with one even gushing: “It’s the prettiest house I’ve seen EVER… EVER.”
Boris Johnson’s alleged ex-mistress Jennifer Arcuri slams NHS coronavirus tracking app and suggests: “There is no way I would download that!” … but she is set to go on Channel 4’s ‘Hunted’
Just when Boris Johnson believed the Dominic Cummings travel scandal had (quite literally) been put to bed the press talking about his own nocturnal antics with his American “technology teacher,” the meddling minx Jennifer Arcuri has started to get her own back.
“There is no way I would download [the NHS coronavirus tracking app] app. The government can say they’re doing the best to keep it secure, there’s just no guarantee it’s 100 per cent secure or the data is going to be kept secure, encrypted and used only for this. I don’t think people should give away their freedoms.”
“Anything like your personal health data in a government database being used in some obscure app just raises all kind of flags for me. It became very apparent that the NHS was ill-equipped for a cyber attack. I don’t think tracking Covid-19 is an effective way of using tech money or trying to cure one’s health. I do not believe it is an acceptable use of government time, energy or money.”
Elsewhere, on her Twitter account, Arcuri recently retweeted a December 2019 feature about herself by Techcrunch editor-at-large Mike Butcher for the New Statesman. In it, the author referenced how the far-right “Trumpsexual” paedophile apologist Milo Yiannopoulos used to attend the Hacker House co-founder’s parties [Note: We’re not sure why anyone would be proud of having that lunatic on their premises] and beneath that she retweeted a post by The Sunday People. It linked to a feature announcing she’ll supposedly be “starring” in a “special celebrity version of hit Channel 4 show Hunted.”
With his alleged lover no doubt set to be plied with booze on a tacky reality television show, ‘Bosie The Clown’ must be delighted; it’s time for ‘Deviant Dom’ to “Fire Up the Quattro” and head off on another road trip. This time though, Dom, just don’t go via Barnard Castle.
Boobs out – Jennifer Arcuri pictured out campaigning with Boris Johnson.How twee – Boris Johnson snapped having a cup of tea with Boris Johnson.She’s having a laugh – Jennifer Arcuri’s Twitter account handle. She describes herself as: an “entrepreneur” and “fearless” and claims to have “more brains and drive than two or three British politicians put together.” She directs the media to contact her at [email protected]
