Tag: celebrity

Handbagged by Meghan

Handbag created by Louis Vuitton to “celebrate” the marriage of Meghan Markle to Prince Harry to be auctioned for a crazy sum

Handbags with connections to famous women often sell for crazy sums and in December 2015, The Steeple Times featured one used by Margaret Thatcher on her last visit to Downing Street. It sold for a staggering £47,500 ($60,000, €53,200 or درهم220,000) against a low estimate of just £1,000 ($1,260, €1,121 or درهم4,629) at Christie’s and now another made to “celebrate” the wedding of the then Meghan Markle to the then Prince Harry is being auctioned.

Offered with an estimate of £12,000 to £18,000 ($15,100 to $22,700, €13,500 to €20,200 or درهم55,500 to درهم83,300) in spite of not even being in perfect condition, the 2018 Louis Vuitton ‘Petite Malle’ handbag is number 13 of 21 made. It features a Union Jack flag, has a blue and black leather lined interior and comes with a dust bag and box.

Of the item, Sophie Higgs, designer collection specialist at Fellows Auctioneers, remarked: “We are delighted to announce the auction of this extremely rare handbag… In keeping with the wedding itself, the handbag has been shaped by the wealth of history that feeds all Louis Vuitton trunks, yet it flies a path of its own.”

Given the supposed frostiness with her sister-in-law, one thing’s for sure: The Duchess of Cambridge most certainly won’t be putting in a bid. ‘MeGain’ fans (if there are any left), fastest fingers at the ready – The online sale is open and closes on Monday 8^th June.

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The bag is described as being “in a very good condition, like new, with only one minor scuff to the top left and lower corners.”

It comes with a strap and its original box.

June 3, 2020
Arcuri Attacks App

Boris Johnson’s alleged ex-mistress Jennifer Arcuri slams NHS coronavirus tracking app and suggests: “There is no way I would download that!” … but she is set to go on Channel 4’s ‘Hunted’

Just when Boris Johnson believed the Dominic Cummings travel scandal had (quite literally) been put to bed the press talking about his own nocturnal antics with his American “technology teacher,” the meddling minx Jennifer Arcuri has started to get her own back.

In a very short ‘exclusive’ interview buried deep in the Mirror, Arcuri – whom promotes herself on social media as someone “with more brains and drive than two or three British politicians put together” – told the paper:

“There is no way I would download [the NHS coronavirus tracking app] app. The government can say they’re doing the best to keep it secure, there’s just no guarantee it’s 100 per cent secure or the data is going to be kept secure, encrypted and used only for this. I don’t think people should give away their freedoms.”

“Anything like your personal health data in a government database being used in some obscure app just raises all kind of flags for me. It became very apparent that the NHS was ill-equipped for a cyber attack. I don’t think tracking Covid-19 is an effective way of using tech money or trying to cure one’s health. I do not believe it is an acceptable use of government time, energy or money.”

Elsewhere, on her Twitter account, Arcuri recently retweeted a December 2019 feature about herself by Techcrunch editor-at-large Mike Butcher for the New Statesman. In it, the author referenced how the far-right “Trumpsexual” paedophile apologist Milo Yiannopoulos used to attend the Hacker House co-founder’s parties [Note: We’re not sure why anyone would be proud of having that lunatic on their premises] and beneath that she retweeted a post by The Sunday People. It linked to a feature announcing she’ll supposedly be “starring” in a “special celebrity version of hit Channel 4 show Hunted.”

With his alleged lover no doubt set to be plied with booze on a tacky reality television show, ‘Bosie The Clown’ must be delighted; it’s time for ‘Deviant Dom’ to “Fire Up the Quattro” and head off on another road trip. This time though, Dom, just don’t go via Barnard Castle.

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Boobs out – Jennifer Arcuri pictured out campaigning with Boris Johnson.

How twee – Boris Johnson snapped having a cup of tea with Boris Johnson.

She’s having a laugh – Jennifer Arcuri’s Twitter account handle. She describes herself as: an “entrepreneur” and “fearless” and claims to have “more brains and drive than two or three British politicians put together.” She directs the media to contact her at [email protected]

May 31, 2020
Heroine of the Hour – Lorraine Kelly

In suggesting obese people slim to avoid death by coronavirus Lorraine Kelly is spot on; she’s also right about Harry and MeGain

The ‘Queen of Gorbals Gobbledygook’ that is Lorraine Kelly OBE has struck again. In her column in The Sun today, this “gritty heroine of our times” spoke for the nation in announcing: “Telling obese people to slim is no insult.”

Quite correctly pointing out the obvious in stating: “This awful coronavirus is far deadlier to those who are overweight,” this “gritty heroine of our times” has yet again shown herself to be a lady of metal rather than a fluffy friend of the vain and the vacuous.

Completely the opposite of daytime dimwits like ‘Verging on Vile’ Vanessa Feltz (whom could most definitely do with losing a few pounds herself) and the ‘Daytime David Icke’ 5G conspiracy theorist Eamonn Holmes in her approach, Ms. Kelly did not seek to “fat shame,” but instead shared her own experiences and offered solutions rather than highlighting problems.

“This is not about going on a stupid faddy diet,” cautioned the Glasgow born presenter before adding: “It’s all about a lifestyle change and doing exercise you enjoy. My advice, which is hard-earned over the years, is not to have too much unhealthy food in the house, especially right now in lockdown when it’s so easy to sit watching TV while guzzling whole packets of biscuits. If you don’t buy the junk, you won’t be able to gorge on it. That’s not to say you can’t have a treat. You can. Just don’t eat a whole plus-sized bag of Maltesers or only leave a few Hobnobs in the biscuit tin.”

Concluding on this particular topic, Ms. Kelly remarked: “I wish you luck” before turning to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Of this tedious duo she stated:

“I’m confused. Harry and Meghan demand privacy and are suing a Sunday newspaper to ensure they are left alone… They want to have as normal a life as possible… And yet… They have moved to Los Angeles, the very hub of celebrity culture.”

Here, Lorraine Kelly highlights a pair not in need of “luck” since they’ve already burnt through plenty of that. Instead, ‘Hapless Harry’ and ‘Mendacious MeGain’ just need lobotomies and one-way tickets to nowhere.

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May 9, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Lady Brady

‘The Steeple Times’ suggests that in the wake of the latest drivel she spouted in ‘The Sun on Sunday’ well-known washed-up wench and all-round “nasty piece of work” Karren Brady belongs in the funny farm

In her weekly column in The Sun on Sunday yesterday, The Right Honourable The Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge CBE – better known simply as Karren Brady, an “overpainted Aunt Sally caked in cheap makeup” whose businesses associations have primarily involved the grubby pornographer David Sullivan and the “cross between Shylock and Al Capone” that is Sir ‘Shifty’ Philip Green – shared a bit of information that nobody need ever know.

Aside from illustrating her rank on the Mensa roster in revealing something nobody else on the entire planet knew in stating: “What a month it’s been for Boris Johnson,” Lady Brady also announced: “I am as keen as the next person to regain my freedom.” She then, pass the sick bucket urgently please, added: “At present, in fact, I am mainly wearing pyjamas all day as well as in bed.” As constellation, at a time when we are all coping with the COVID-19 lockdown, one can at least be thankful that she didn’t go further and follow Baroness Mone and go on about her bra choices or dip into the territory of Ferne McCann and try and flog some soiled knickers.

Disgracefully ennobled by David Cameron for utterly no good reason, “muckspreader” Lady Brady (AKA ‘Baroness Bozo’ and #LazyBrady) went on to show how out of touch she is with the ordinary populous. In a segment ever-so enthusiastically titled: “PREGNANT PAUSE FOR A NATION” (in caps for extra-special emphasis), this dimwitted oddity bizarrely offered “huge congratulations” to an American model of Dutch-Palestinian descent named Gigi Hadid and an English singer of Pakistani-Irish descent named Zayn Malik. We’re no doubt lightyears away from fathoming the reasoning as to why the ever-so-vital “pregnant pause” and the ever-so “huge congratulations” are especially required for Hadid and Malik, but, hey ho, we are dealing with Karren Brady – Lord Sugar’s token bit of sideline smut from the graveyard for self-declared “genuine celebrities” that is The Apprentice.

Aside from not explaining exactly which “nation” exactly she was referencing (she probably doesn’t actually know what a nation is herself, poor love), former “dildo merchant” turned “faithful companion of Jesus” Lady Brady helpfully then declared: “They are expecting a baby… which just proves that life goes on. What a beautiful baby they will have. It’s great to have some good news amid the gloom.” Let’s all join her and praise the Lord.

Of this wannabe prophet, one reader previously observed: “All business transactions associated with Lady Brady end in Richard Branson-esque failure” and now we’ll go further: “All falling for the supposed wise words of the pyjama-clad Lady Brady henceforth may find themselves joining her in the funny farm.” It is now time to lock this hapless harridan in a padded cell and throw away the key.

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May 3, 2020
Soiled Sundays

Sunday evening acid-throwing Arthur Collins’ ex-partner Ferne McCann attempts to flog used knickers and bras online whilst posing with their brat, a girl named Sunday

Brentwood born Ferne McCann’s “baby daddy” Arthur Collins caused life-changing injuries to 22 innocent people after arriving at the Mangle E8 nightclub in Dalston, London during a night out on Sunday 16^th April 2017. Stoked up and out of control, this “verminous cretin” hurled acid at clubbers at around 1.45am and then went on the run. This sub-human specimen, whose previous convictions numbered assault and possession of cocaine, deservedly got 20 years in jail, yet many continue to argue that that sentence was far too lenient.

Meanwhile, in the months that followed, McCann proceeded – without a moment’s consideration for Collins’ victims – to name their child, you’d never believe it, ‘Sunday.’ She supposedly spoke with her incarcerated ex-scaffolder lover via a phone illegally delivered to his prison cell and liked photographs on Instagram calling for this turd-like criminal’s release even.

Ferne McCann posing with her since convicted criminal lover Arthur Collins in Dubai.

Now, according to the Mirror, McCann – whom disgustingly thought it appropriate to promote beauty products including lip plumping primer via Instagram on the day Collins was sent down in December 2017 – has found a new niche. This slovenly scrubber has taken to flogging used knickers and bras via a website named Depop.com.

Offered at prices as low as £8 for a black bikini top with “a few crystals missing,” McCann plainly is a woman who’ll attempt to sell not only her soiled goods: This self-declared “very well-known celebrity” lost an application relating to a “range of toilet preparations” in June 2019. She was ordered to pay £2,400 in costs to a firm named CP Management and now we’re left wondering: “What’ll she get thong next?”

Pictured top: Ferne McCann and her child, Sunday. On Depop.com this money grabbing wench sold the blue dress pictured for £40. She’s unsurprisingly not had as much luck in attempting to hawk her second-hand undergarments.

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May 3, 2020
It’s Just Awful Being Alexa

Self-absorbed Alexa Chung isn’t worrying about people dying from coronavirus; she’s too busy moaning about people not focusing on the real her

“The human” Alexa Chung can be relied upon to make utterly everything about herself.

Earlier this month, the “fashion genius” and “belle of the ball” revealed that she begged David and Victoria Beckham to talk to her at a party. Of the encounter, this strange woman bizarrely told the Mail on Sunday’s ‘Talk of the Town’ column: “I said: ‘I know you have a lot of money, but I’ll pay you anything to talk to me right now.’ And they were really nice.” The trick plainly worked – as Miss Chung got the column inches she plainly so desperately so craves.

Now with no one in their right mind wanting to talk to the very wealthy Beckhams – who’ve quite deservedly joined the ranks of the pariahs of the coronavirus pandemic due to their shameless attempts to get the state to bailout their failing businesses – Chung yesterday moved on to share her latest woe in order to garner a few more words in print.

“The only thing people want to know about her is what it’s like having the same name as Amazon’s [Alexa]” stated ‘Talk of the Town,’ before concluding: “Unsurprisingly, she’s getting a bit fed up.” Chung – whom (as you do) loves “people-watching” in airports and “Googling pictures of Jane Birkin” at breakfast – herself added: “This is the most frequently asked question in my life.” Ah, diddums!

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On her own website, oh yes and seeing is believing: Alexa Chung does share the revelation that she is a human. Thank God for that.

April 26, 2020
A Meterless Cab

Black cab (in green) that has never carried a paying passenger to be auctioned in May; it was originally owned by construction giants Sir Robert McAlpine Ltd.

What do the Duke of Edinburgh, Noel Edmonds, Yvette Fielding, Stephen Fry, Simon Hughes, Stanley Kubrick, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Kate Moss, Sir Laurence Olivier and Arnold Schwarzenegger have in common? All of them, variously, have owned black cabs (also known as ‘Hackney carriages’ and ‘hacks’).

Stephen Fry with the black cab he owns.

The ex-Nubar Gulbenkian 1960 Austin FX4 Brougham Sedanca taxi with coachwork by FLM Panelcraft. It was sold at auction for £31,900 ($39,000, €36,200 or درهم143,600) in 2015 by Bonhams at their Quail Lodge auction in Carmel, California.

Whilst in the past, the eccentric Armenian business magnate and socialite Nubar Gulbenkian went one stage further and “dolled-up” a 1960 Austin FX4 taxi to his own specifications, a more modern adapted example is to be sold by Bonhams in May.

Lacking a traditional amber light on its roof, the 2006 London Taxi International TXII Gold to be offered has “never carried a fare paying passenger in its life.” This vehicle, instead, was bought new by the construction company Sir Robert McAlpine Ltd. and subsequently given a “bespoke upgrade” costing £12,000 ($14,700, €13,600 or درهم53,900) by LTI dealers KPM Automotive.

Fitted with replacement green velour seating in the passenger section, the 2.4-litre, automatic car has two Motorola telephones, air-conditioning, an intercom and a fold-down wheelchair access ramp. It has covered 18,000 miles from new and is described as being in generally “superb condition” and having a “distinguished air.”

Bonhams will offer the taxi at their online Bicester sale on 30^th May. They have set an estimate of £12,000 to £18,000 ($14,700 to $22,000, €13,600 to €20,400 or درهم53,900 to درهم80,900).

As someone named Lou Erickson once said: “Life is like a taxi. The meter keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.”

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April 3, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during the coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day; the washed-up wench claims to be “evolving”

Loathsome leech Lindsay Lohan once curiously claimed she was a “normal, nice person, a good person” and that she “[didn’t] have any bad intentions.” She then proceeded to prove herself totally wrong in leaping to the defence of the now convicted sex abuser Harvey Weinstein in 2017.

Jailed for 90 days in 2001 and put in rehab in 2008 (and on many other occasions since), this often violent, deranged, on-off druggie has now decided to revive her music ‘career’ at quite possibly the most inappropriate time – that being on April Fool’s Day during the coronavirus crisis. You simply couldn’t make it up, but, as we all know, ‘Loopy Lindsay’ can’t actually get a PR advisor for toffee.

Some might argue that this move is reflective of this trashbag’s position in society, but that Lohan – whom the term “celebutard” was created in her very honour by Michael Musto some years back – issued a cryptic video on Instagram that ends with the wastrel weirdly stating: “I’m back!” about says it all. Frankly, the public will be the judge of that love and given past performance tends to be a guide to the future, we all already know where this almighty mess is going to end up next.

Here we go again, Lindsay: Another car crash that’s headed to be washed away down the gutter. Next!

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A Twitter user aptly summed up Lindsay Lohan’s April Fool’s Day 2020 actions.

In her video message on Instagram, the self-absorbed mess showed a message that stated: “Evolution of Lindsay Lohan.”

April 1, 2020
Gertrude Bell did NOT live here

Should there be a blue plaque in honour of the controversial explorer Gertrude Bell in Cadogan Square in spite of the fact she did not actually “live” there?

Today, in The Guardian, arts correspondent Mark Brown reported on the controversy that has arisen as a result of English Heritage deciding it appropriate to approve a blue plaque in honour of Gertrude Bell CBE (1868 – 1926) in Cadogan Square, Knightsbridge.

Gertrude Bell has variously been described as an administrator, peace maker, preserver of heritage, pioneer and a woman of international influence. She was also considered a spy and mocked for opposing vote’s for women.

Though home to the explorer’s grandmother and a place she stayed at on “numerous occasions” for over 40 years, Bell’s biographer, Graham Best, asks: “Is this a case of cultural appropriation? … She didn’t really have anything to do with London.”

He continues:

“The thing with Gertrude Bell is that everyone is trying to appropriate her as a person. She is deeply misunderstood.”

“The thing is everyone is trying to grab hold of Gertrude Bell and say yes, she’s one of us. But she’s not.”

Going further, the article also attempts to smear “Queen of the Desert” Bell by referring to the fact that she opposed vote’s for women and repeatedly makes reference to the William Morris designed Red Barns in Redcar being her genuine home.

Just like with Queen Elizabeth I – a woman who seemingly slept in every bed in the land – it is effectively plaques to famous people could end up being put up just about everywhere they ever went. In February this year, The Steeple Times reported on a condominium in Pacific Heights, San Francisco that was for sale complete with a plaque that proclaimed: “2151 Sacramento Street: This house, built in 1881, was once occupied by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.” It turned out that the author had “visited” the building for just a few hours.

Pictured top: Nicole Kidman as Gertrude Bell with Robert Pattinson as T. E. Lawrence in the “muddled mess” that was Werner Herzog’s 2015 film ‘Queen of the Desert.’

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December 26, 2018
Hit the Road Marilyn

Marilyn Monroe’s 1956 Ford Thunderbird to be auctioned

A 1956 Ford Thunderbird gifted as a Christmas present to Marilyn Monroe in 1955 by her business partner, the photographer Milton Greene, is to be auctioned in November.

The raven black roadster bodied automatic – dubbed a “personal luxury car” by Ford – comes with numerous documents and of it, the current owner comments:

“I found the vehicle in lovely show condition. Nevertheless, the car has received a frame-off restoration to its exact original appearance by Prestige Thunderbird, Inc., of Santa Fe Springs, CA. Prestige is the premier west coast firm specializing only in classic 1955, 1956, and 1957 Ford Thunderbirds. In recognition of the car’s important provenance, special heed was given to the retention of original parts, with most driver and passenger touch surfaces left undisturbed.”

“Finding this car, a classic two-seater model, after 56 plus years of its unknown whereabouts, was a singular event. No other car has been located and documented as owned by the incomparable Marilyn Monroe.”

Speaking of the 225 horsepower, V8 engined vehicle, Amy Greene, wife of Milton Greene, remarked:

“Marilyn liked to drive. We’d take the convertible and with the top down, we’d go sailing along the highway. We both liked to feel the wind in our faces and the warmth of the heater on our legs.”

Kept and driven by the icon for six years, Monroe and her playwright husband Arthur Miller drove the Thunderbird to their civil wedding ceremony on 28^th June 1956 and likely also to their private wedding on 30^th June 1956. The vehicle was subsequently ‘regifted’ t to John Strasberg, the son the director and acting coach Lee Strasberg, as an 18^th birthday present in 1962. It comes with a black canvas convertible top, a porthole windowed hardtop and has 30,399 miles on the odometer following an engine rebuild.

Darren Julien, president of Julien’s – the firm conducting the sale – added:

“Once in a while something comes along that has a powerful magic about it, a charisma, because of everything and everyone associated with it. This wonderful Ford Thunderbird is not only part of automotive history but comes with an aura of glamour, romance and tragedy of a true Hollywood legend. It will make the centrepiece of any classic car collection and be an object of fascination to millions.”

Julien’s Auctions will offer the car at their ‘Icons and Idols: Hollywood’ on 17^th November in Los Angeles, California. They have set an estimate of £230,000 to £384,000 ($300,000 to $500,000, €262,000 to €436,000 or درهم1.1 million to درهم1.8 million).

2018 photos: Courtesy of Julien’s Auctions.

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October 19, 2018