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OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

Luxury and the arts From houses to cars and from Hockney to van Dyck, a profile of the best and the worst

Plated IX

15 more of the best plates spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

 

Continuing our series, below we feature 15 more unusual, laughable and entertaining number plates:

 

Toilet humour - WHO 5HAT
Toilet humour – WHO 5HAT
Satin over silk? - SAT 1N (courtesy of Glenmore Trenear Harvey)
Satin over silk? – SAT 1N (courtesy of Glenmore Trenear-Harvey)
Someone who suffers regularly with diarrhoea? - POO 9 POO
Someone who suffers regularly with diarrhoea? – POO 9 POO
A computer geek? - N77 ERD
A computer geek? – N77 ERD
Someone who is truly devoted to dining at Nando's? - N4 NDO
Someone who is truly devoted to dining at Nando’s? – N4 NDO
Yes, we know it is a Mustang. Do you need to tell us twice? - MU55 TNG (courtesy of Orlando Hamilton)
Yes, we know it is a Mustang. Do you need to tell us twice? – MU55 TNG (courtesy of Orlando Hamilton)
A member of the Ku Klux Klan? - MI55 KKK (courtesy of Glenmore Trenear Harvey)
A member of the Ku Klux Klan? – MI55 KKK (courtesy of Glenmore Trenear-Harvey)
Me and You - ME14 YOU
The perfect car for “Meet Me On The Motorway” singer Little Boots: “It’s just me and you” – ME14 YOU
Someone wants something - I VANT 1 (courtesy of Orlando Hamilton)
Someone wants something – I VANT 1 (courtesy of Orlando Hamilton)
Someone who needs to improve their time keeping - I M LATE (courtesy of Vladimir Lavrentiev)
Someone who needs to improve their time keeping – I M LATE (courtesy of Vladimir Lavrentiev)
Someone who lives well - HIGHLIFE (courtesy of @theGTAbase and @RockstarGames)
Someone who lives well – HIGHLIFE (courtesy of @theGTAbase and @RockstarGames)
Yes, we know it is a Rolls-Royce Ghost - GH05T CM
Yes, we know it is a Rolls-Royce Ghost – GH05T CM
Jesus goes to the drive-in - CHRIST (courtesy of @ButteredFrog)
Jesus goes to the drive-in – CHRIST (courtesy of @ButteredFrog)
Should have bought a Beetle - BUG 110 (courtesy of Glenmore Trenear Harvey)
Should have bought a Beetle – BUG 110 (courtesy of Glenmore Trenear-Harvey)
Liz McDonald's having a bad hair day on 'Coronation Street' - BAD HURE (courtesy of @PrayForPatrick)
Liz McDonald’s having a bad hair day on ‘Coronation Street’ – BAD HURE (courtesy of @PrayForPatrick)

 

We expect readers will come across many more classics. Please submit your images to editorial@thesteepletimes.com

 

 

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    • An Overhyped Roller – £1.917 million for 2008 Rolls-Royce ‘Hyperion’ Phantom 6.75-litre V12 drophead two-seater coupé through Alain Class Motors of Dubai – One-of-one 2008 Rolls-Royce ‘Hyperion’ Phantom drophead coupé by Pininfarina for sale for sum 51% lower than in 2009. It even has a compartment to hold rifles in front of its windscreen and comes with a one-of-one Girard-Perregaux wristwatch housed in its dashboard.

    April 6, 2020

    An Overhyped Roller
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson

    April 2, 2020

    A Wyatt Wonder
    A Grand Old Man’s Grand Old Merc – President Félix Houphouët-Boigny – 1967 Mercedes ‘Dictator Car’ owned until 1993 by the first President of Ivory Coast to be auctioned after being restored at vast expense – 1967 Mercedes-Benz 600 Six-Door Pullman to be sold by RM Sotheby’s at their 24th to 27th June 2020 sale in Essen, Germany on behalf of current owner Dr Urich Speicher. An estimate of £220,000 to £247,000 ($273,000 to $306,000, €250,000 to €280,000 or درهم1 million to درهم1.1 million) has been set.

    April 1, 2020

    A Grand Old Man’s Grand Old Merc
    A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).

    March 28, 2020

    A Corona Getaway in London
    Going Thin – Two Into One? The Thin House, 5 Thurloe Square, South Kensington, London, SW7 2TA, United Kingdom. Second apartment in South Kensington’s famous ‘Thin House’ comes to the market in March 2020 after another has languished for sale for four years since 2016. Second floor for sale through Winkworth for £875,000. Third floor for sale through Rokstone for £895,000.

    March 27, 2020

    Going Thin – Two Into One?
    Muting Masterpiece – Masterpiece London 2020 cancelled due to coronavirus – Highlight of the art and antiques calendar, Masterpiece London, announces its 2020 fair has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

    Muting Masterpiece
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.

    March 26, 2020

    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea
    A Belgravian Yo-Yo – £3m for Orpheo House, 50a Eaton Square, Belgravia, London, SW1W 9BE, United Kingdom down from £4.5m through agents Rokstone– Nicky Haslam designed Belgravia house for sale for 33% less than in 2010 in spite of yoyo-ing up and down in price for ten years.

    March 25, 2020

    A Belgravian Yo-Yo
    A Poirot Curve – Curve shaped neo-Georgian house that wouldn’t look out of place in an Agatha Christie Poirot novel on the St. George’s Hill estate in Surrey for sale for an extraordinary sum. Hamstone House, South Ridge, St. Georges Hill, Weybridge KT13 0NF, United Kingdom is offered for £16 million ($18.4 million, €17.2million or درهم67.6 million) by agents Beauchamp Estates.

    March 23, 2020

    A Poirot Curve
    A Seat or a Smallholding? Two seats at the Albert Hall vs. Smallholding – Two seats at the Royal Albert Hall for sale leasehold; their £300,000 price is equivalent to buying a renovated freehold smallholding in Scotland. Agents: Harrods Estates and South West Property Centre.

    March 20, 2020

    A Seat or a Smallholding?
    A Reverend’s Residence - £975,000 for Hailsham Grange, Vicarage Road, Hailsham, Wealden, East Sussex, BN27 1BL at Savills auction on 26th March 2020 – Part vacant Grade II* listed Queen Anne former vicarage in East Sussex to be auctioned online (due to the coronavirus outbreak).

    March 19, 2020

    A Reverend’s Residence
    Blown Out Cheap In Chelsea – Cheap studio flat in Chelsea, SW10 – First floor flat in Redcliffe Gardens, Chelsea, London, SW10 for sale for just £150,000 in spite of having a 61 year lease; the street was made famous in The Beatles song ‘A Day in the Life’ – Offered by May & Co.

    March 18, 2020

    Blown Out Cheap In Chelsea
    A Savvy Pad – £2.5 million for Peter de Savary’s motor yacht – Unusual river barge and motor yacht combo owned by Peter de Savary for sale through River Homes; it is currently moored at Cadogan Pier in Chelsea.

    A Savvy Pad
    Caravan Calamity – Lloyd Smith and Low Wood, Haverthwaite caravan park – Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after his sardine tin is told to move on.

    February 28, 2020

    Caravan Calamity
    Change From £100k – London Classic Car Show 2020 – New contributor and classic cars enthusiast Theodora Ong covets roadsters with wings, curves and chrome at the London Classic Car Show 2020.

    February 22, 2020

    Change From £100k
    A Cottage or a Cage? £375,000 for a farmhouse vs. same sum for a cage – Knightsbridge ‘cage’ in an underground car park for sale for the same price as a 6 bedroom former farmhouse in 1 acre in Scotland.

    February 21, 2020

    A Cottage or a Cage?
    Gassed in a Gothic Box – £2.95 million for 22 Bury Walk, Chelsea, London, SW3 6QB through Russell Simpson – ‘Gothic box’ in Chelsea where theatrical designer Sophie Fedorovitch was accidentally gassed to death for sale for £2.95 million.

    February 20, 2020

    Gassed in a Gothic Box
    A Cottage With A Catch - £35,000 for cottage in Uckfield, East Sussex – Victorian country cottage in picturesque rural setting in East Sussex for sale for less than a new BMW 3 series saloon – 1 Jubilee Cottages, Eastbourne Road, Uckfield, East Sussex, TN22 5QN, United Kingdom to be sold at auction by Savills on 12th February 2020 at The Marriott Hotel, Grosvenor Square, London, W1K 6JP.

    February 6, 2020

    A Cottage With A Catch
    A Cut-Price Gulbenkian – Ex-Nubar Gulbenkian Rolls-Royce for sale – Rolls-Royce owned by eccentric tycoon Nubar Gulbenkian expected to sell for just £30,000 in spite of £200,000 spent on restoration to date – Offered by Historics Auctioneers at Ascot Racecourse on 7th March 2020 with no reserve.

    February 5, 2020

    A Cut-Price Gulbenkian
    Britain’s Cheapest Freehold? £100 for a flying freehold room in Nene Quay, Wisbech, Cambridgeshire, PE13 1AQ, United Kingdom through William H. Brown – Waterfront property in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire heads to auction for an extraordinarily low price.

    February 4, 2020

    Britain’s Cheapest Freehold?
    A Cut Price Mucky Motor – Repossessed Katie Price Range Rover for sale – Saxton 4x4 slash the asking price for the especially hideously coloured ex-Katie Price ‘Barbie Rosa’ pink 2015 Land Rover Range Rover to £50,000.

    January 31, 2020

    A Cut Price Mucky Motor
    Portered Art – £950,000 for studio in Chelsea Studios, 414 – 416 Fulham Road, London, SW6 1EB, United Kingdom – Charming hidden artist’s studio next to Chelsea Football Club for sale in Chelsea Studios, SW6 for £950,000 through Marsh & Parsons.

    January 23, 2020

    Portered Art
    A Castle of Commerce – £60.3 million ($79 million, €70.6 million or درهم290.1 million)for penthouse at Woolworth Tower Residences, Woolworth Building, 2 Park Place, 233 Broadway, New York, United States of America – Penthouse in “the cathedral of commerce” that is the Woolworth Building in NYC for sale for £60min spite of just being a raw space.

    December 30, 2019

    A Castle of Commerce
    Dr II Poo – Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen, registration “Dr II Poo” – Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen spotted with a lavatory related numberplate in Chelsea.

    December 24, 2019

    Dr II Poo
    A Bonkers Priced Box – A box at Royal Albert Hall for £3 million or a castle in Durham for the same price? Box seating twelve people at the Royal Albert Hall for sale for the same price as a 15,000 square foot ‘castle’ in County Durham. Agents: Harrods Estates and Urban Base.

    December 17, 2019

    A Bonkers Priced Box
    Pugin & Panic – £9,000 per month for Oswaldcroft, Woolton Road, Woolton, Childwall, Liverpool, L16 8NG, United Kingdom through Denton Clark Rentals – Pugin designed mansion with two panic rooms for rent in Liverpool; its décor leaves a lot to be desired but it does come with a beer pump.

    December 16, 2019

    Pugin & Panic
    A Hell of a House – Section of Knightsbridge church conversion for sale for 5,000% more than it sold for in 1998 or 450% more than it fetched in 2003 – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA for sale for £55 million ($73 million, €66 million or درهم269 million) through Knight Frank.

    December 15, 2019

    A Hell of a House
    An Electric Mansion - £37,000 for 113 North Street, Auburn, New York – Victorian New York state mansion in the area where the world’s first execution by electric chair occurred goes on sale for just £37,000 –James Seymour Mansion, 113 North Street, Auburn, Cayuga County, New York, NY 13021, United States of America – For sale for £37,000 ($50,000, €45,000 or درهم184,000) with a deadline of 5pm on Wednesday 18th December 2019 through Michael DeRosa.

    December 14, 2019

    An Electric Mansion
    O (Costly) Christmas Tree, O (Costly) Christmas Tree – London declared “more merry” than New York as it is revealed Christmas trees in the former can be had for sums 50,000% less than the latter. Claridge’s, Poundland, Home Bargains, Maddox Gallery, Annabel’s, Tamara Ecclestone, Soho Trees, Cindy Adams, Aretha Franklin.

    December 10, 2019

    O (Costly) Christmas Tree, O (Costly) Christmas Tree
    A Hovel House – Not so miserable looking house named ‘The Hovel’ on the quaintly named ‘Duck Lane’ for sale for virtually the same price as in 2005 – £400,000 for The Hovel, Duck Lane, Ludgershall, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, HP18 9XZ through agents Michael Graham in November 2019.

    December 9, 2019

    A Hovel House
    A Porsche or a Pad? – One bedroom, first floor flat in Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London, SW3 for sale for just £175,000 through Russell Simpson. Alternatively Hexagon Classics have a 1992 Porsche 911 (964) Carrera RS Lightweight from Hexagon Classics. They have one on offer for £179,995.

    December 8, 2019

    A Porsche or a Pad?
    A Grand Grosser – 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman for sale – “As good as new” 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman “dictator car” to be sold at auction in London by Bonhams. They offer the limousine at their 7th December 2019 sale at their New Bond Street showroom and have set an estimate of £300,000 to £500,000 ($388,000 to $646,000, €352,000 to €586,000 or درهم1.4 million to درهم2.4 million).

    November 30, 2019

    A Grand Grosser
    A Magnificent Manor – £8.5 million ($10.9 million, €10 million or درهم40.2 million) for Hinwick House, Podington, Wellingborough, Bedfordshire, NN29 7JE, United Kingdom through agents Savills – Grade I listed Queen Anne manor house in Bedfordshire for sale for a sum 41% lower than it was offered for in 2016.

    November 25, 2019

    A Magnificent Manor
    One Owner Since 1884 – The Manor House, 26 Bancroft, Hitchin, Hertfordshire, SG5 1JW, United Kingdom for sale through agents Michael Graham for £500,000 ($641,000, €582,000 or درهم2.4 million) – Striking Grade II* listed Georgian manor house that was the premises of a renowned antiques dealer for 130 years and the setting for ‘Kavangah QC’ for sale for less than a price of a studio flat in SW3.

    November 23, 2019

    One Owner Since 1884
    A Manhattan Mash-Up – “Baronial” bachelor pad-esque Manhattan loft that belonged to the late Picasso biographer Sir John Richardson KBE (1924 – 2019) for sale – Unit 7FL, 73 5th Ave Flatiron, Manhattan, New York, NY 10003, United States of America – For sale for £5.6 million ($7.2 million, €6.5 million or درهم26.4 million) through Jeffrey Stockwell of Compass.

    November 20, 2019

    A Manhattan Mash-Up
    Clocks & Crime – ($599,000 €545,000 or درهم2.2 million) for Herschede Mansion, 3886 Reading Road, North Avondale, Cincinnati, Ohio, OH 45229, United States of America – For sale through agents Coldwell Banker West Shell – Italian Renaissance style mansion in Cincinnati, Ohio for sale; it was built for a clockmaker, home to Burt Reynolds’ first wife Judy Carne’s lawyer and more recently a convicted sexual offender named Ian D. Reynolds.

    November 14, 2019

    Clocks & Crime
    Lavish Leasam – £9.5 million ($12.2 million, €11.1 million or درهم44.8 million) for Leasam House, Leasam Lane, Playden, Rye, East Sussex, TN31 7UE, United Kingdom through agents Savills – Vast Georgian mansion close to the East Sussex coast with garaging for nineteen cars for sale for just under £10 million.

    November 13, 2019

    Lavish Leasam
    Tosspot Towning – Truth about peddler of junk Ian Towning revealed – ‘The Steeple Times’ exposes the truth about the shameless drag queen-esque peddler of junk Ian Towning. Pictured camping it up with the now deceased paedophile Max Clifford.

    November 12, 2019

    Tosspot Towning
    A Regency Rock – £20k per month for The Stone, Pheasant Hill, Chalfont St. Giles, Buckinghamshire, HP8 4SA, United Kingdom – ‘Georgian Regency’ country house to rent for £20,000 per month in a Buckinghamshire village voted ‘the best in England’ through agents Knight Frank.

    November 9, 2019

    A Regency Rock
    A Romping Royal Range Rover – 1994 ex-Prince Jefri Range Rover limo – Range Rover limousine originally used by the sex mad Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei for sale for 94% less than its original £323,000 cost – For sale at Silverstone Auctions NEC Classic Motor Show 2019 sale in Birmingham on Saturday 9th November 2019 with an estimate of £18,000 to £24,000 ($23,100 to $30,700, €20,900 to €27,800 or درهم84,700 to درهم112,900).

    November 8, 2019

    A Romping Royal Range Rover
    A Thrifty Reduction – £3.8 million for Burnham Westgate Hall, Burnham Market, Burnham Market, King’s Lynn, North Norfolk, PE31 8HE, United Kingdom through agents Sowerbys – ‘Baroness Thrifty’ Patricia Rawlings, Baroness Rawlings puts her Sir John Soane designed Norfolk mansion up for sale for 46% less than she tried to get for it in 2011 (when Johnny Depp allegedly failed to purchase it).

    October 26, 2019

    A Thrifty Reduction
    A Car Curate’s Egg – 2019 RM Sotheby’s London sale. Results. An analysis of the results at the 2019 RM Sotheby’s London sale at Olympia on Friday 25th October.

    A Car Curate’s Egg
    Polly Put The Kettle On – £10 millon for Newtown Park Estate, Portmore, Lymington, New Forest, Hampshire, SO41 5RN, United Kingdom through Knight Frank – Palladian mansion that was home to Charles Burnett III, the driver of the “fastest kettle in the world,” for sale £10 million after his death in a helicopter accident.

    October 21, 2019

    Polly Put The Kettle On
    Cavernous Caversham Park – £20 million for stately home Caversham Park, Peppard Road, Caversham, Reading, Berkshire, RG4 8TZ, United Kingdom through Lambert Smith Hampton – Grade II listed stately home in 93 acres of parkland in Reading, Berkshire for sale for just £174 per square foot.

    October 10, 2019

    Cavernous Caversham
    An Oligarch’s Lair – £6.5m for Villa il Poderino, Via del Giuggiolo and Via Bolognese, City of Florence, 2-4 Florence, Tuscany, Italy through agents Aste Giudiziarie – Closing date of the 19th November for sealed bids – Tuscan villa previously owned by Russian oligarch turned fugitive offered in bankruptcy sale; once valued at £16.3 million, bids of £6.5 million are now sought

    October 8, 2019

    An Oligarch’s Lair
    A Touring Tip – 1998 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur limo to be auctioned – Extra-long wheelbase 1998 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur armoured touring limousine used in Equatorial Guinea for sale for a knock down price by Bonhams on 29th September 2019 at Cheserex, Switzerland – The car will be offered without reserve at an estimate of £20,000 to £37,000 (CHF 25,000 to CHF 45,000, $24,600 to $45,000, €22,500 to €41,600 or درهم90,300 to درهم167,000).

    September 28, 2019

    A Touring Tip
    Inching an Island – Scottish island for sale for less than Knightsbridge garage – 90 acre Scottish island for sale for less than the cost of a 212 square foot garage space in Knightsbridge, London – Insh Island, Firth of Lorne, Argyll, Scotland for sale through Dawsons for £125,000 – Garage, Denbigh House, Hans Place, Knightsbridge, London, SW1 for sale for £140,000 through Ashdown Marks.

    Inching an Island
    Superlative Stedcombe – Stedcombe House, Axmouth, Devon, EX12 4BJ, United Kingdom – For sale for £4.5 million ($5.6 million, €5.1 million or درهم20.6 million) through Savills – Stunning Grade I listed symmetrical William and Mary country house in Devon with slave trade links for sale for £4.5 million.

    September 18, 2019

    Superlative Stedcombe
    Highlights of LAPADA 2019 – Berkeley Square, Mayfair, London, W1 – Matthew Steeples picks his highlights at the LAPADA 2019 art and antiques fair in Mayfair’s Berkeley Square on its penultimate day.

    September 17, 2019

    Highlights of LAPADA 2019
    A Bigmouth’s Castle – £8 million for Seton Castle, Longniddry, East Lothian, Scotland, EH32 0PG, United Kingdom – For sale through Rettie & Co. – Scotland’s most expensive private residence for sale for 47% less than its 2005 asking price; it was designed by Robert Adam and is currently owned by self-made tech tycoons Stephen Leach and his wife Heather Luscombe.

    September 9, 2019

    A Bigmouth’s Castle

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