Blabbermouth Burrell

Butler-turned-blabbermouth Paul Burrell sinks to a new low; he should retreat to Siberia and live out his days privately

 

Cat-like Paul Burrell again and again reinvents himself. Somehow, in spite of already having undeservedly exhausted more than nine lives, this ghastly individual is back in the press and this time he’s milking the story of his marriage to a corporate lawyer he met on a train.

 

“Diana’s rock”, as the traitorous butler-turned-blabbermouth likes to call himself, chose not to keep his wedding to Graham Cooper private but instead bared the story of his union with his “soulmate” to various media outlets.

 

Mr Burrell, in spite of being born in Derbyshire wore a kilt to the ceremony (in a bizarre pattern of tartan he’d, of course, commissioned himself in 2006) at the Linthwaite House Hotel in the Lake District and in comments to the Mail Online remarked:

 

“There’s no more hiding my unbridled happiness now. Life is about being true to who you are and, for the first time ever, I’m able to stand proudly beside my husband and say: ‘This is who I am’”.

 

Burrell also told the newspaper of how he walked into the ceremony to Barbara Streisand’s Some Enchanted Evening and “danced out of [it] to Kylie Minogue’s Better the Devil You Know” and disrespectfully remarked on references to his late employer, Diana, Princess of Wales, being made during the ceremony. He again showed himself to be a master of the kiss-and-tell and even, in case anyone cared, shared the menu for his “three course wedding dinner”. It consisted of: “A starter of ham hock terrine, egg and chipped potatoes followed by pot-roasted breast of Goosnargh chicken served with Pommes Anna and wild mushroom fricassee and finished with a dessert of apple Tarte Tatin with a Calvados caramel and vanilla ice cream”.

 

An anything but credible individual according to Lord Justice Scott Baker, Burrell – a man prone to crying on a whim – was severely criticised by Princes William and Harry in 2003. In a statement, at the time, they remarked:

 

“We cannot believe that Paul who was entrusted with so much could abuse his position in such a cold and overt betrayal”.

 

“It is not only deeply painful for the two of us but also for everyone else affected and it would mortify our mother if she were alive today and, if we might say so, we feel we are more able to speak for our mother than Paul”.

 

“We ask Paul please to bring these revelations to an end”.

 

Burrell plainly paid no attention to this request and now, fourteen years later, it is again time to urge this self-serving toad to do the decent thing: May Paul Burrell please stop peddling tat and may he please retreat to Siberia.

 

21 COMMENTS

  1. I am sorry to say you are wrong. Paul Burrell served his mistress and did nothing wrong. The case against him rightly collapsed and he has been treated abysmally by the royals. What else could he do to survive other than the course he’s taken? You are very unfair and unkind. I am shocked and disgusted by this nasty piece of writing.

    • Of course, the culprit in all this is the deceitful, spoilt and vulgar Diana.
      If you allow servants to get above themselves disaster follows.
      Jane, you sound like my friend Ethel….slightly cracked.

  2. Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lock him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Traitorous bastard should be in prison or hanged from a telegraph pole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. I am disgusted by the fact that he shared such a terrible menu. “Egg and chipped potatoes” at a wedding! Seriously!

  4. Im surprised he didnt add baked beans and sausages to his starter course! I feel it would have been more appropriate surely?,,,,

  5. He was neither liked nor trusted by his fellow Palace colleagues, but somehow managed to toady his way up the Household Staff ladder. Completely misused his position of trust. Ghastly ghastly ghastly.

  6. This repellant, self-serving buffoon is an utter disgrace to his profession. Ridiculous, nauseating little oik………!

  7. A fashion comment for those who care: You don’t have to be Scottish these days to wear the kilt. Wear your kilt with pride. Wear your accompanying white socks with shame – they have to be dark green or black or similar, never, ever white.

  8. You do amuse me, Mr Wayde.

    Were you, perchance, at one time Comptroller of the Royal Household?

    You certainly come across as someone frightfully grand. Or is that the persona you adopt to tweak the tails of the many ‘plebs’ who populate the Steeple Times with some of their more silly posts?

  9. A deeply odd man. I remember when he was on that awful jungle programme, and made these weird gasping noises every time he had to handle various creepy-crawlies.

    And let’s also not forget that time when the police raided his home and found several hundred items belonging to the Royals, including Diana’s nightwear and personal letters to her sons.

    I’m pretty certain he would have gone to jail, had the Queen not miraculously remembered – two weeks into his second trial at the Old Bailey – that he’d told her he was going to put some things away for safekeeping. Presumably on the basis that his home was safer than Kensington Palace.

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