Category: London

The Steeple Times writes about the greatest city on earth London

Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess

Nikolay Kalinin suggests that in spite of their crusade against Tory sleaze, Labour’s Sir Keir Starmer is failing to make any inroads and finds himself in a multifaceted mess

A week ago, Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer attempted to present himself as the superhero British politics needs in order to rid the country of Tory sleaze. He proffered that his scrutiny at Prime Minister’s Questions and photo-ops at John Lewis illustrated that Labour will annihilate the Tories in tomorrow’s elections simply because the governing party are just ‘no good.’

Yet, the truth for Sir Keir is actually far bleaker and a multifaceted mess, as ever since February the gap between the Conservatives and Labour in the polls has been increasing in the governing party’s favour and this has mostly been due to the UK government’s incredibly successful vaccination programme.

Even after the ‘Wallpapergate’ scandal, it seems like nothing much has changed, as a YouGov poll has projected that on 6^th May, Labour is most likely to lose 59 seats in ‘Red Wall’ local councils, whereas the Conservatives are set to gain 90. Furthermore, 38% of people in ‘Red Wall’ council areas have stated that Boris Johnson would “make the best Prime Minister,” compared to just 30% for Starmer.

The by-election in the Hartlepool constituency meanwhile – which has been described as the first litmus test of Sir Keir Starmer’s Labour leadership – has also left many expecting Labour will lose their hold over the area. A poll conducted by Good Morning Britain concluded that 50% of the people interviewed in the area would vote for Conservative candidate Jill Mortimer, compared to the 33% that would vote for Labour candidate Paul Williams.

In even worse news for Labour, another GMB poll concluded that most people in Hartlepool had favourable feelings towards Conservatives (46%), compared to Labour’s 31%. Furthermore, 45% of people expressed negative feelings towards Labour, compared to 31% who expressed negativity towards Conservatives. It seems therefore like Labour is on the path to losing the seat, which has been controlled by them since its establishment in 1974.

Still, there has also been evidence in the last few days that suggests otherwise; a recent UK voting intention poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies has seen the Conservatives’ lead being slashed by 4%, whereas Labour has gained 4% in the polls, meaning that the gap between both is now a mere 2%.

As expected, Labour London Mayor Sadiq Khan is expected to retain his position as he maintains a fairly stable lead in the polls, with predictions that he’ll get 61% in the first round whereas his hapless Conservative rival Shaun Bailey will achieve a mere 39%.

There’s a dangerously high chance that the Conservatives will be able to use the vaccination success in order to win over the voters in councils and in Hartlepool, who will ignore the fact that their PM has used donated money for his own expenses and didn’t even disclose it.

Why has Sir Keir Starmer, in general, failed to deliver a fatal blow to the Tories in the lead-up to the elections? It’s most likely due to lack of a uniting ideology, but more importantly due to the lack of opposition; because of the government’s role in fighting against COVID-19, it’s possible that the role of Labour as an opposition party has been substantially reduced, as they are actually unable to scrutinise the Tories like they would normally have had had there been no pandemic. In some way, Sir Keir seems to be lacking the appeal that Jeremy Corbyn had as Labour leader, which allowed the party to receive an influx of members after decades of falling membership.

So far, the sleaze scandals have not hurt the Conservatives at all – as a matter of fact support for them has been increasing – and even more surprisingly the Labour Party that has been leading the campaign against sleaze is getting pummeled in the polls. It truly is concerning that a party that has such a large lack of connection with people is leading in the polls, because this should not happen in a country that is supposedly a representative democracy. We’ll just have to wait and see, but a very important first signal will emerge with the results tomorrow.

Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess – Sir Keir Starmer certainly did not help himself when he found himself kicked out of a pub in Bristol in April. His minder’s bullyboy conduct reflected very badly upon him and the fact that his aides had not checked the venue out first shows a shocking lack of coordination on the Labour Party’s part.

Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess – Sir Keir Starmer believes: “Another future is possible,” but thus far he has failed to convince he is the man who could deliver such in post-coronavirus pandemic Britain.

May 5, 2021
Flushing Out Fosh – An Interview with wannabe Mayor of London Max Fosh

Nikolay Kalinin asks YouTube star Max Fosh about why he decided to run as a candidate in the 2021 London mayoral elections

Max Fosh is running a campaign to simply get more votes than ‘Detective Sergeant Ignoramus,’ the actor Laurence Fox, in next week’s London mayoral elections.

However, outside of appearances on his YouTube channel, Fosh has not spoken much about his campaign and his rivalry with Fox, so I decided to get to know him better and asked him 10 questions on behalf of The Steeple Times:

NK: Did you intend to run for London Mayor back in 2020 before the pandemic, or was it only after Laurence Fox announced his campaign that you decided to run?

MF: I decided to run when I saw a BBC News article outlining all the potential candidates, and at the bottom it had the different things that one needs to do in order to become a nominee, which was to get 66 signatures from 33 different boroughs – 2 individual signatures per borough – and to raise a £10,000 deposit. That’s what caused me to run, and I decided my main target was Laurence when I realised: ‘Hey, Sadiq’s going to win this election,’ so I wanted to have my own candidate to run against. I saw Lozza – similar background [they both went to school at Harrow], no experience in politics, he’s got 5 million quid and I don’t – and I decided to see who wins.

NK: Do you feel as if people your age and occupation are not taken seriously, especially by politicians?

MF: I think people my age and occupation are taken seriously, especially when they are pulling in numbers that they are. I mean, Niko Omilana has 5% of the vote, and he’s polling high in the 18-25 year old demographic, so I think we are being taken seriously.

NK: What was your reaction when you saw all these articles about you appearing on sites such as Daily Mail and Metro and, of course, in The Steeple Times?

MF: My reaction was of course: ‘Ooh! How interesting!’ Look, I know my media is online, so any information or any article that’s written about me in the mainstream press is always… well, I wouldn’t say it’s a welcome bonus, but it’s there and as long as more people can read the story of Max Fosh and his mayoral run then that can only be a good thing.

NK: In regards to Laurence Fox, what are you doing in order to get more votes than him besides making videos featuring you pranking him? It’s essential to note that you were tied with him in the ITV opinion poll revealed some time ago.

MF: I wouldn’t say I’m pranking him at all. I’m just positioning myself as a candidate. I’m just trying to utilise my audience to go out and vote and I have to preface this – I said this in multiple videos: I don’t want people to vote for me just because it can be fun. I want people to look at all the candidates running and make a formal decision and vote for whom they think is the best Mayor of London.

Would I be the best Mayor of London? Absolutely not. Would Laurence? Absolutely not. I’m just using my audience and the platform to encourage young people to vote.

NK: Will Laurence Fox in your opinion ever reach his political ambitions of first becoming London Mayor and then MP? What will happen to his Reclaim Party?

MF: I do not have the personal political expertise at all to be able to tell you whether he’ll reach his political ambitions. I mean, I’m not sure what his political ambitions really are; in this election, do I think he’s going to become Mayor of London? Absolutely not. In regards to the Reclaim Party, I really could not say, because it’s not my place to say. That’s more of a question for the party.

NK: How are you planning to react if you fail to get more votes than Fox?

MF: I would shake his hand, congratulate him and retire from politics.

NK: If you were legitimately running for position of London Mayor, what policies would you write in your manifesto?

MF: I am legitimately running for the position; I don’t think you could get any more legitimate than putting your name on the ballot paper. If you would like to see my manifesto, it’s all on laurencefox.org.

NK: Would you ever consider creating your own political party?

MF: No, not at all. I very much intend to retire after 6^th May from politics altogether – whatever the result (obviously even if I win, which is an infinitesimal chance).

NK: How do you feel about major media outlets such as BBC, ITV and LBC ignoring your campaigns and instead interviewing and organising debates only between candidates from big parties?

MF: I totally agree with them. There are 20 candidates who are running, and four of them are considered the big players who are going to get most of the votes, so I think the big media outlets should be focused on them. It doesn’t mean they should be ignoring other campaigns, and they haven’t. I’ve been featured in every single nominee list, so I don’t really mind.

NK: Finally, do you think that your and Niko Omilana’s attempts to go into politics will start a trend where Internet personalities will try to run for public office?

MF: I don’t think that it will start a trend, because the trend has already happened; look at the US with Donald Trump, look at Ukraine with their President, so I don’t think this is going to kickstart a new trend; it’s already happening.

Follow Max Fosh on Twitter at @max_fosh and on Instagram at @max.fosh. Join his 423,000 subscribers on YouTube by clicking here.

Flushing Out Fosh – Max Fosh appeared at Laurence Fox’s campaign launch with a car wrapped with the message: “Don’t Believe Everything You See On A Bus.”

Flushing Out Fosh – Max Fosh’s campaign in the 2021 London mayoral election centres around his use of YouTube as a medium to communicate with his clearly vast audience of 18 to 25 year olds.

April 30, 2021
Bailey Bombs to 84/1

Nikolay Kalinin reports wannabe Conservative Mayor of London Shaun Bailey has sunk to 84/1 on Oddschecker; he suggests voters back outsiders such as Max Fosh, Count Binface and Niko Omilana as a sign of protest against the ineptitude of mainstream candidates

Shaun Bailey – the man who once promised to give London “a fresh start” – is once again facing a massive decline in support. This is far from surprising given some newly unearthed remarks he has been found to have made.

If you thought this Conservative Mayoral candidate would stop going after women – whether they be pregnant teenagers of female MPs – then you would be seriously wrong as now this misogynist dullard has gone one stage further and decided to go after female domestic abuse victims too.

In a post found on the website of Conservative Women’s Organisation, Bailey claimed: “If you could get girls to accept less of men’s rubbish then men would have to change because ultimately men are after a girl.” In doing so, all he achieved was invoke the idea that it is the fault of women if they find themselves getting abused. I would love to hear him say that to the faces of the thousands of women who were trapped in hostile environments with abusive partners during the COVID-19 pandemic.

It’s perhaps not surprising then that Bailey’s odds of winning the election on the betting site Oddschecker plummeted to 84/1 yesterday – another 20 points lower than he was 3 weeks ago. Commenting of this news, the Labour MP for Ealing Central and Acton, Rupa Huq, stated: “Someone with Bailey’s hard right attitudes should simply never have the opportunity to lead a city that counts more than 4 million women and girls among its population.”

Bailey’s campaign spokesperson responded to the criticism, not by saying that he has taken accountability for his statements – or even better that he would be dropping out of the Mayoral election – but by accusing Labour of “taking old comments out of context.” The spokesperson added that they believed his point was that “the only way to end domestic violence is to change the behaviour of men.” This, I’d argue, is a blatant lie.

It should be mentioned that Bailey has a history of speaking before thinking about many matters. In 2017, it was reported that he called the region of North Kensington where he grew up in a “ghetto” – which hugely contrasts with the high house prices in the region, as well as the fact that the very wealthy ex-PM David Cameron is a resident of that very same area.

In the meantime, the mayoral campaigns of YouTuber Max Fosh and Count Binface – both of whom The Steeple Times have endorsed (given there’s little to nothing else on offer) – have been expanding greatly, with Fosh continuing his crusade against blockhead Laurence Fox, calling out his ex-fellow Old Harrovian for failing to debate with him.

Fosh has also created a website where he has written out his election policies. They include a pledge to “put Laurence Fox on the call back list for every acting job in London” and another to build Jurassic parks across the city.

Count Binface has also released a campaign manifesto of his own on Twitter, where he has pledged – amongst many other ingenious things to banish Piers Corbyn to the Phantom Zone, finish Crossrail and get London to go it alone and join the EU.

I would like to encourage readers to vote for Max Fosh as your first preference on 6^th May, and Count Binface or Niko Omilana – who has stated he wishes to deport all EDL members to Poland and ban Prince Andrew from going within a 4-mile radius of all London schools as your second preference.

These three people, unbelievable as it may seem, are way more appealing than the three leading clowns Sadiq Khan, Shaun Bailey and Brian Rose, so let’s show them that on 6^th May. It’s time to give the Conservatives and Labour especially the kick they well and truly deserve.

Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – Shaun Bailey has been endorsed by the pretty awful Priti Patel. If that’s the best he can do, God help the guy.

Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – Even ‘King of Tory Sleaze’ Boris Johnson appears to be distancing himself from Shaun Bailey’s flagging campaign. Frankly, this bombastic bozo might as well give up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-ItPJWU6QQ
Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – ‘The Steeple Times’ urges readers to back independent candidates to send a signal to the mainstream parties that their campaigns in the London Mayoral elections have been dreadful in 2021. Contributor Nikolay Kalinin suggests Niko Omilana as one such option.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcy5V4JwfnA
Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – Max Fosh is the favoured first choice of ‘The Steeple Times.’

Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – We also rather like Count Binface and urge choosing him as your second choice.

April 29, 2021
The Money of McCann

Gerry and Kate McCann rake in £773,600 of private money in spite of admitting there is “nothing much to report” 14 years into the fast approaching £13 million public funded investigation into the dubious ‘disappearance’ of their daughter Madeleine

Not content with having garnered over £12.5 million in public funding for the police investigation with a further £300,000 top-up likely to come soon, it has this week been revealed that Gerry and Kate McCann’s privately administered fund now has an astonishing net worth of £773,629.

Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Ltd. – which counts controversial double glazing tycoon Brian Kennedy, a man whom once bizarrely claimed he “had visions of flying in by helicopter to rescue Madeleine,” amongst its directors since 16^th May 2007 – is listed as having £235,900 in cash and £245,000 in assets in newly released accounts.

Whilst last week, Dr and Mrs McCann told the Mirror that they “still believe in miracles,” in a post on the ‘Official Find Madeleine Campaign’ Facebook page the particularly pugnacious pair also had to admit of the investigation: “Nothing much to report.”

Previously, a ‘friend’ (‘unnamed,’ of course, as is so often the case with anyone speaking on behalf of those close to the case of missing Madeleine McCann) of Dr and Mrs McCann remarked:

“Kate and Gerry know the police investigation cannot go on forever.”

“When [the police investigation] is shelved, and if there is no result, Kate and Gerry will use money in the fund to continue the hunt.”

“That is what it is there for. They paid for their own team of private investigators initially and when the official inquiry ends they will do so again although in the past it has proven to be extremely costly.”

Today, again, we ask: “Why does so much public money continue to be wasted on an investigation that has achieved nothing in 14 years and why is another £300,000 about to be given from the public purse when other missing person searches get little to nothing? Why is this disproportionate allocation of taxpayer funded resources allowed to go on?”

The Money of McCann – Ben Needham, then aged just 1, disappeared on the Greek island of Kos on 24th July 1991. He has been missing for over 29 year and in the time since his mother, Kerry Needham, has shockingly come under attack from supporters of the family of Madeleine McCann. Of this in October 2015, she commented: “It feels like a personal attack on me. It is deeply, deeply hurtful. I have myself had massive amounts of slanderous abuse from supporters of the McCann campaign in the past but I have never taken that personally. It’s freedom of speech. But it is getting the names of two missing children out there which is really important.”

The Money of McCann – Luke Durbin disappeared aged just 19 in Suffolk in May 2006. In spite of his mother’s tireless campaign to attempt to find her vanished son, why don’t the police devote more resources to the search for him?

The Money of McCann – Martin Allen vanished without a trace in London on 5th November 1979 aged just 15. Though his brother, Kevin Allen, has kept the case in the public eye as much as he can, he gets little to no help from the Metropolitan Police. Again today, we ask: “Why isn’t money from the public purse allocated to solving this case and thousands like it and why, instead, has fast approaching £13 million been allocated to a case that has not been solved in 14 years?”

The Money of McCann – In September 2018, Ben Needham’s mother Kerry quite rightly told ITV1’s ‘Loose Women’ that “it hurts” that so much money has been allocated to the search for Madeleine McCann whilst so little has been given to aid help other families find their missing relatives. She added: “[Madeleine] deserves to be found, but so does Ben. We haven’t had a fraction, I’ve had to fight alone as a single mum and try to get the help that Ben deserves… I don’t take anything away from anyone who’s got a loved one who is missing, but every single one deserves to be found.”

April 27, 2021
A Rotten Rose – Brian Rose: An Entire Circus of Idiocy

New contributor Nikolay Kalinan delves into the history of the American ex-heroin addict and wannabe Mayor of London Brian Rose and finds his curious claims to be rather hollow

Several weeks ago, Brian Rose seemed to have it all; his odds of winning the London Mayoral election stood at 18/1 – 2^nd place to Sadiq Khan – and he was organising what he called “the largest outdoor campaign in British political history” supported by 2 million subscribers on his ‘London Real’ YouTube channel and 1.6 million followers on his Instagram pages.

Yet, the truth be known: Rose’s image of supposed runaway success is nothing but total fakery. In an opinion poll, only 2% of the respondents said they would vote for Rose, which is actually less than the amount of people who expressed their support for Niko Omilana – someone who doesn’t even have serious election policies apart from the genius pledge to make Boris Johnson “shush.”

For years now, ‘Brian The Piss-Drinker’ has created an image of his being a knight in shining armour, but that hides his utter incompetence and shallowness. Indeed, this was evident back in April 2020 when he conducted an interview with the fruitcake David Icke. During that discussion, Icke claimed that COVID-19 was not real, and was actually spread by 5G towers – no surprises there – with the purpose of creating a fascist world order.

When faced with criticism regarding the Icke interview, which was quite justifiably subsequently removed from YouTube, Rose first responded by stating that he was simply protecting freedom of speech, and then by him re-uploading the interview to his own video service, the Digital Freedom Platform. He then doubled down on the whole controversy by releasing interviews with more nutjobs, including the angry and delusional radio host Alex Jones and anti-vaccine activist Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Aside from Rose’s pandering to COVID-sceptics giving a sense of how great a wrong’un he genuinely is, a look at whether he has kept his promises in regards to the Digital Freedom Platform he created illustrates further the deception that surrounds this American ex-heroin using transplant.

Initially, of that, Rose said that the medium would be a new video platform “of the people, by the people and for the people.” Almost a year later, and with some £720,000 raised for the project, you would think that he would do what any “politician of the people” would do and fulfil his promise by officially opening up the platform but, of course, he didn’t.

Instead, Digitial Freedom Platform has been transformed into a library of content for amateur conspiracy theorists and is also being used as another piece of marketing for Rose’s mayoral campaign. So, to recap, Brian Rose spent £720,000 donated to him by ordinary people on creating InfoWars 2.0 and what did they get back? Nothing.

Things don’t get any better when you look at Brian Rose’s election manifesto, which looks like a bunch of regurgitated campaign promises from candidates such as Shaun Bailey and Laurence Fox. Rose has aped such pledges as that by Bailey to put thousands of police officers on London’s streets and build thousands of homes that will cost just £100,000 each, as well as Fox’s pledge to end lockdown and create a festival celebrating London’s culture.

In fact, it just feels as if Rose has copied and pasted whole sections from Bailey and Fox’s manifestos and then replaced some words and numbers with ones of his own. In summary: Here is someone incapable of actually coming up with anything original.

Brian Rose is inevitably heading for doom on May 6^th, and the truth – whether he likes it or not – is that it doesn’t matter how much money he spends on campaigning or how much he says that he is a crusader for “freedom of speech.” The reality is clear: Brian Rose won’t become the next Mayor of London because he’s simply nothing other than an utter nutter.

Pictured top: Naughty boy Brian Rose being given a ticking off (and a fine subsequently) for campaigning when and where he shouldn’t have been.

A Rotten Rose – According to an interview he gave to Susannah Butter, published in the ‘Evening Standard’ on the 14th April 2021, plainly delusional “Brian Rose is already referring to himself as the Mayor [of London] and says Londoner’s are too.”

April 24, 2021
Picture of the Week – Cesspit Street

Protestors brandishing envelopes of ‘taxpayers’ money’ sum up the state of Boris Johnson’s rotten government as ex-minister Johnny Mercer quite rightly brands it a “cesspit”

If you’re the pro-Brexit billionaire Sir James Dyson or the diplomat killer Mohammed bin Salman, you get the right to have the British Prime Minister on ‘speed-text.’ If you’re an ordinary taxpaying citizen, you get sweet Fanny Adams.

Summing up the present government’s attitude to the public and taxpayers’ money, our picture of the week – shared by the @WinstonCProject on Twitter – shows a protest outside the entrance to Downing Street by individuals sporting masks of amongst others Boris Johnson, Rishi Sunak and David Cameron.

Featuring also envelopes stuffed with £50 notes emblazoned with ‘Taxpayers’ Money’ in red, the message attached also reads: “To Tory chums, Dodgy contracts, Jobs for mates… If found please return to The Conservative Party.”

Elsewhere yesterday, after resigning from Johnson’s rotten government, Johnny Mercer remarked:

“I think it’s pretty clear that not everyone tells the truth up here do they. I mean, I told people, I was resigning as a courtesy to government. You know, three hours later, it’s in the press. And, of course, they all denied they ever leaked it.”

“This is the most distrustful, awful environment I’ve ever worked in, in government. Almost nobody tells the truth is what I’ve worked out over the last 36 hours.”

“And, you know, I don’t think anyone really can get on their high horse about trust and ethics and all the rest of it in politics, because as far as I’m concerned, most of it is a bit of a cesspit.”

#JohnsonOut

Cesspit Street – This morning, the ‘Guardian’ shared this cartoon by Nicola Jennings that accurately sums up the relationship between Sir James Dyson and Boris Johnson.

Cesspit Street – On Monday, it was revealed that leaked emails showed that the Conservative Party WAS fully aware that £58,000 in donations was to be used to refit the Downing Street flat occupied by serial shagger Boris Johnson and his wine chucking latest baby mama, ‘Costly Carrie’ Symonds.

https://twitter.com/EmmaKennedy/status/1385116534805303296

April 22, 2021
Don’t Come On Carrie!

Matthew Steeples argues that Daniel Johnson’s “Come on Carrie: your country needs you!” call to Boris Johnson’s wine chucking latest baby mama is nothing but claptrap

The Article is one of those online titles that one can dip into from time to time and find an array of opinions about politics. It claims to show “the world in all its shades of grey” and though that’s not meant in a ‘John Major style’ (thank the Lord), the publication’s attempts to “see a story from every angle” is indeed refreshing.

Yesterday, however, the title’s editor Daniel Johnson – the brother of the controversial right-wing Vote Leave and anti-lockdown COVID Recovery Group funding former owner of the Pizza Express group Luke Johnson – penned quite frankly the most bizarre article known to man.

Daniel Johnson, also a founding editor of Standpoint and described by the Independent as having “the air of a classics don” and listed on Wikipedia for having “asserted that Islam in not a peaceful religion,” asked: “Why isn’t the Prime Minister calling for a post-Covid catch-up campaign [for British school children]?” He then turned to what he believes should happen in the wake of Prince Philip’s funeral tomorrow.

Bizarrely and from utterly nowhere, the journalist went off on a seriously odd tangent and declared:

“Our sympathy for the Royal Family is all the greater because this has been a sad time for so many others, too. After so many funerals, a wedding would not come amiss. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a divorced man in possession of the good fortune to be Prime Minister must be in want of a wife.”

“Next month Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds will have been engaged for 18 months. Once the restrictions on weddings have been lifted in June, there is nothing to stop them getting married. Not everyone would rejoice, but most people would wish them well. Royal weddings happen regularly; prime ministerial ones are rare birds. Indeed, the last time a Prime Minister tied the knot while in office was in 1822, when Lord Liverpool remarried after being widowed.”

“If a week is a long time in politics, two centuries is an aeon. There are many reasons why Boris might be hesitant, but his fiancée is no shrinking violet and is quite capable of insisting that the time has come. Little Wilfred is growing fast. The nation needs cheering up. Come on, Carrie: your country needs you!”

Aside from the fact that most of the nation would prefer Prime Minister Johnson to be focusing on getting the current out of the Covid crisis and fixing our economy, ‘Journalist Johnson’ misses the point entirely about the country’s thoughts about our serial shagging head honcho.

Whilst Tory sleaze – with the Greenshill scandal and the likes of Matt Hancock handing out multi-million pound contracts willy-nilly to his mates – is dominating the headlines, I’d argue that our country needs a little less of ‘Costly Carrie’ and not a bit more. With her penchant for £200,000 “monstrous” interior design makeovers and £12,500 deliveries of food from ritzy Daylesford, here is a Barbara Amiel-esque wastrel completely out of touch with the nation.

A wedding for Carrie Symonds would certainly cement the status of a wine chucking wench with a penchant for hanging around with members of the far-right Traditional Britain Group and working for organisations supported by the deservedly incarcerated mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, but what would it actually do for the great British public?

“Absolutely nothing” is frankly the only acceptable answer.

Next!

Don’t Come On Carrie! Boris Johnson’s current squeeze Carrie Symonds was described by her alleged spreader of fake news about Russia ex-boyfriend Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’) as: “Any relationship with Carrie or friendship with Carrie is very intense and can often burn brightly… Never boring… Tumultuous… Intense and passionate… That passion can work the other way when she is not happy with you… It’s the most up and down relationship I have had.”

Don’t Come On Carrie! Rumours of Boris Johnson’s affairs continue to do the rounds on social media. Aside from a supposed ongoing fling with a certain tame BBC journalist, the Prime Minister has been repeatedly linked to various Russians.

Don’t Come On Carrie! The man pictured left believes “Boris Johnson was sent by Christ” to “fulfill bible prophecy” whilst a parody magazine mocked the Prime Minister with a headline: “Scumbag Exposed! My hubby had TWELVE children before WE MET!”

April 16, 2021
Bailey Bombs to 64/1

As ingeniously ironic Old Harrovian wannabe Mayor of London Max Fosh photobombs his fellow Old Harrovian grumpy groaner rival Laurence Fox, their clapped-out Conservative rival Shaun Bailey sinks to likely 3^rd place at odds of 64/1

Late last month, Conservative candidate Shaun Bailey’s chances of becoming the next Mayor of London looked to be improving. Whilst odds on him winning were just 45/1 in January, they’d moved to 31/1 and later to 25/1 – in spite of an endorsement from the irksome, well-known associate of dildo floggers, Karren Brady.

Things seemed to finally be swinging in this bombastic berk’s favour, but now, today, Oddschecker shows he’s retreated into third behind Labour’s laughable Sadiq Khan (1/16) and independent oddity Brian Rose (18/1). Today, Bailey stands at an astonishing 64/1 whilst the Liberal Democrats’ Luisa Porritt has sunk to 999/1.

Elsewhere, earlier this week with a supposed £5 million behind him courtesy of a Vote Leave donor named Jeremy Hosking, angry ex-actor Laurence Fox (250/1) launched his campaign whilst being driven around on a red London bus emblazoned with “Free London. Vote for Laurence Fox. Your London. Your freedom. Reclaim it.”

Amusingly, making a complete mockery of him, a seemingly likeable young chap named Max Fosh (100/1) has come forward and raised the £10,000 deposit required to run. The 26-year-old, who studied at Harrow School with Fox, wrapped his car with text that read “Don’t Believe Everything You See On A Bus” and photobombed Fox’s bus.

Shared subsequently on his YouTube channel and watched already by just under 100,000 viewers, Fosh turned up at Fox’s launch event with his car and then introduced himself to the Reclaim leader.

Speaking to The Tab subsequently of his “Max Fosh to Mash Fox” campaign on Friday, Fosh explained:

“The reason I want to beat Laurence is because he seems like a very upset man. He’s a bit of a grumpy guy…. Politics is just a cesspit of name-calling and anger, and it’s just going to make Laurence grumpier. So, I want to beat Laurence in this election to get him out of politics and get him back to doing what he does best.”

“It’s basically a philanthropic mission at this point. Wouldn’t it be nice to see more of such kindness and sincerity in politics today?”

Today, given the quality of candidates on offer in this election is so dire and thus Khan’s likelihood of returning as Mayor is sadly so high, we urge those eligible to do the only sensible thing left available in the absence of our long since departed favoured choice Rory Stewart. Please don’t spoil your vote, but instead back Max Fosh as you first choice and Count Binface as your second.

Doing so on the 6^th May 2021 will send a signal to Laurence Fox that in spite of the millions of pounds in wonga behind him, he shouldn’t be in charge of a bus ticket let alone a capital city, but it’ll also do something else: It’ll tell the Tory Party that they made the worst of choices in Shaun Bailey and it might persuade them not to put a twerp of such epic proportions on a ballot paper ever again.

Join the 19,900 followers of Max Fosh on Twitter at @Max_Fosh and Count Binface’s 20,200 at @CountBinface.

Bailey Bombs to 64/1 – Max Fosh might not have the financial resources of Lawrence Fox’s £5 million campaign pot, but he’s creative and likeable. We urge readers to support this breath of fresh air.

Bailey Bombs to 64/1 – Count Binface – formerly Lord Buckethead – has always amused readers of ‘The Steeple Times.’ He’s certainly worth voting for ahead of Sadiq Khan, Shaun Bailey and Brian Rose.

Bailey Bombs to 64/1 – Shaun Bailey was mocked by ‘THis Is North Kensington’ for “wringing the wrong numbers” whilst his campaign was summed up by ‘From The Hornets Nest’ with the following: “The Conservative Party made a massive miscalculation in backing this man. His appalling record as one of the laziest members of the London Assembly should have been a warning that Bailey was an insubstantial dud.”

April 4, 2021
Bombed Out Bungling Bailey

“Bombed out” wannabe Mayor of London Shaun Bailey’s deceptive ‘London Life’ called out for exactly what it is by ‘This Is North Kensington’ – “An election leaflet disguised as a magazine” (featuring ‘Poundland muckspreader’ Karren Brady)

Conservative crackpot Shaun Bailey plainly thinks hanging around with self-serving D-listers like Karren Brady (AKA ‘Mrs Blowjob or No Job’) will improve his electoral chances in his quest to become the next Mayor of London.

After making a prized pillock of himself in an interview with B-lister David Walliams in GQ in November 2020, Bailey returned to the fray by shoving an eight-page rag with the deceptive title London Life through the doors of the electorate he is seeking to attract recently.

Though this glossy rag bizarrely hasn’t even been received in many parts of affluent SW3 – an area he’d surely like to sew up as secured early, but has totally avoided thus far – his London Life literature was quite rightly condemned last week by the crusading THis Is North Kensington as an “election leaflet disguised as a magazine.”

Of a mouse-not-a-man mocked as resembling “a mobile phone salesman not the potential mayor of a super city” by From The Hornets Nest, THINK referenced London Life’s feature interview between Bailey and a woman mocked as a “flogger of dildos” on the football terraces turned Lord Sugar’s sidekick on The Apprentice, Karren Brady. Their analysis concluded that the content was anything but impressive and summed up in the words: “And no, we don’t think he will win… That phone shop beckons.”

Moving on, THINK then opted to include an image of a ‘featurette’ centred around ‘9 Questions with Shaun Bailey.’ Answering, braindead Bailey declared: “I can do a standing backflip” and stated he loves “eating too many doughnuts; Greggs in particular.” Is this what London really requires in a leader as its economy seeks to bounce back in the post coronavirus era?

Elsewhere, the Mirror pointed out various glaring errors in a man they called ‘Bungling Bailey’s’ “glossy faux-magazine.” Aside from sharing that London Life bizarrely “only includes one reference to the Conservative Party,” they mockingly pointed to a glaring error:

“The leaflet also includes a quote from someone named as ‘Beth, one of the young people Shaun helped as a youth worker.’ But in the quote, ‘Beth’ describes herself as ‘a lad from a council estate.’”

On Oddschecker this morning, Shaun Bailey’s chances of winning stood at 31/1, a slight improvement from his 45/1 in January, but still well short of incumbent Mayor of London Sadiq Khan’s 1/20 best odds. Meanwhile yesterday, the Evening Standard reported that “Sadiq Khan is set for a landslide and may be elected mayor in the first round of voting.”

From The Hornets Nest and THINK could be onto something with their mobile phone shop analogy: The Tory twerp might do better to now learn the art of silence rather than staggering on with an ‘It’s Good To Talk’ approach. Actually, in fact, the only place Shaun Bailey is likely be hired now is behind the counter at a BT outlet.

Pictured top: Shaun Bailey beaming about “educating others” does seem ironic given he could do with a bit of educating himself (left); the cover of his faux-magazine-that-is-actually-a-blatant-election-leaflet (right).

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – The front-page promotion for Conservative House of Lords plant The Right Honourable The Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge in the City of Westminster CBE’s “interview” – if one could call it such – in ‘London Life’ resembles a calling card left by a hooker in a phone box in Soho. Karren Brady will definitely go down in history herself as more ‘Page 3’ than ‘Pages 4 – 5’ also.

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – Shaun Bailey’s posed picture with David Walliams for their November 2020 ‘GQ’ interview made him appear more like an ageing extra in a boyband than a man destined to be mayor of one of the world’s greatest cities.

David Walliams making a wazzock of Shaun Bailey

In November last year, the plainly infatuated with telly box personalities Shaun Bailey was interviewed for GQ by David Walliams. Aside from posing with the comedian, the desperado wannabe Tory Mayor of London made a prat of himself with the following answers:

On his political ambitions…

DW: Do you want to be prime minister?

SB: I’d never say never.

On Margaret Thatcher…

DW: What did you think of Margaret Thatcher when you were a teenager?

SB: I didn’t.

DW: Did you know who she was?

SB: I was busy trying to make ends meet.

On Theresa May…

DW: Didn’t Theresa May cut the numbers of police when she was home secretary?

SB: You may have noticed I’m not Theresa May.

On political awareness…

DW: When were you first aware of politics as a child?

SB: My earliest memories of politics are Spitting Image.

Proving he cannot add to three…

DW: So, what are the two other issues you are campaigning on?

SB: Housing. Housing. Housing.

DW: Crime, housing, what’s the third?

SB: Transport and environment.

DW: That’s two.

SB: They are one and the same.

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – In ‘London Life,’ Bailey gave both a 9-question interview and another with the “overpainted Aunt Sally” Karren Brady. The chances of anyone other than this “businesswoman” and self-declared “star” stating: “Shaun Bailey – you’re hired!” do, however, seem increasingly bleak.

Bombed Out Bailey – On 16^th March, independent candidate and all-round oddity Brian Rose uploaded a video to YouTube mocking Shaun Bailey’s faltering campaign. Whilst Rose plainly is off his merry rocker also, he is correct to suggest that Bailey is headed only to political obscurity.

Bombed Out Bungling Bailey – For the lovely late Bob Hoskins, it was definitely a case of ‘It’s good to talk.’ For Shaun Bailey, he’d do better to realise ‘It’s better to shut up.’

March 24, 2021
Moron of the Moment 2021 – Owen Jones

Matthew Steeples slates obnoxious opportunist Owen Jones for his latest ridiculous rant on ‘Good Morning Britain’

Owen Jones just loves the sound of his squeaky voice and this morning after yet another outburst of Good Morning Britain, this obnoxious opportunist was sadly once again trending on Twitter.

Renowned for childishly blocking anyone who dares disagree with his warped windbaggery on that medium, self-declared feminist Jones – whose tediously titled (not so) “notable works” according to Wikipedia number Chavs and The Establishment: And How They Get Away with it – this time tried to take revenge on Piers Morgan, who’d previously slapped the “utter arse” down in July 2020.

After sharing his vexatious views on what he considered “offensive,” Jones told hosts Kate Garraway and Ben Shephard that “[Winston Churchill] oversaw the deaths of three million people” and added: “That’s still a fact.”

In reply, one Twitter user remarked: “We need freedom of speech in a democracy. Thanks to Churchill, Owen Jones has the right to express his derogatory views,” whilst another correctly concluded: “Can it get any worse? Got that toerag Owen Jones on, spouting rubbish again. #GMB”

Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

Moron of the Moment 2021 – On Wednesday, Owen Jones penned yet more drivel and claimed that Oprah Winfrey’s interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex had provided an “ink-blot test” of the differences between “younger and older Britons.” He concluded: “All of this represents a serious challenge for progressive politics. Older, white, affluent Britons are of course the most likely to vote, and the Conservatives are keen to rig the electoral system further in their favour. Can any Labour leader successfully peel off enough economically secure, socially conservative older voters without alienating their younger supporters in order to build an electoral coalition? That question remains unanswered. But as the response to Meghan underlines, a seismic rift has opened up between the generations: it is only likely to widen further.”

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Owen Jones – Owen Jones spends copious amounts of time blocking anyone who dares disagree with him on Twitter. It’s a serious surprise he has a single follower left.

March 11, 2021