Category: BRAINSTORM

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes.

The brightest and the stupidest in business

Theresa’s in the Trough
Matthew Steeples highlights that it is not just David Cameron who has been sticking his piggy fingers in the trough; Theresa May also ‘pocketed’ over £1.2 million in the last year alone

Whilst the media are busy banging on about David Cameron’s bungled attempts at lobbying for Greenshill Capital and the ensuing sleaze scandal that has followed, the majority have missed what his immediate successor has been upto since she was turfed out with the trash by her fellow Tory turncoats.

Yesterday afternoon, however, Guido Fawkes shared news of the ‘Jobs for the Boys and Jobs for the Girls’ ex Tory leader – and don’t forget it’s bins for Sir Philip May and wandering in the wheatfields for his weird wife, the new ‘Lady T’ – when they suggested that the hapless Conservative MP for Maidenhead has pocketed over £700,000 from speeches since standing down as Prime Minister.

Going further this morning, after analysing the Register of Members’ Financial Interests as of 15^th March 2021, The Steeple Times can reveal “Brexit means Brexit” Lady May’s latest declaration to be an astonishing £1,075,706 in total – and that’s before adding in her £81,932 MP’s salary and office expenses.

Of this sum for outside earnings, all but one payment is for work for foreign entities and the only payment for ‘work’ in the UK came from JP Morgan. That totalled £160,370 for “two speaking engagements that were cancelled” and this accounted for just 15% of the total ‘earned.’

Whilst we’re at it, let’s not forget ‘MayBeNot’ also managed to secure herself life membership of the Carlton Club and ‘VIP’ perks at Heathrow Airport and Amanda Wakeley and this is all before we get onto her hubby’s no doubt not-too-shabby salary from Capital Group also.

Today we politely enquire: “Why isn’t anyone in the mainstream media wagging a finger at the greedy grubber Theresa May yet or asking her: ‘How on earth do you find the time to serve your constituents?’”

Theresa’s (mostly overseas) trough since February 2020 – £1,075,706
- 19^th February 2020 – Dubai Women Establishment, UAE
  - Speech – £115,000 for 19 hours work (including travel).
- 26^th March 2020 – Structured Finance Association, USA
  - Speech – £115,000 for 25 hours work (including travel).
- 6^th March 2020 – Brown University, USA
  - Speech – £115,000 for 14 hours work (including travel).
- 6^th March 2020 – Trinity University, USA
  - Speech – £115,000 for 26 hours work (including travel).
- 22^nd April 2020 – JP Morgan Chase, UK
  - 2 speaking engagements – £160,370 for zero hours to date (will be rescheduled).
- 25^th June 2020 – World 50 Inc, USA
  - 3 speaking engagements – £101,169 for 7 hours work “to date.”
- 17^th September 2020 – Telmex Foundation, Mexico
  - Virtual speaking engagement – £46,750 for 6 hours work.
- 18^th September 2020 – World Knowledge Forum, South Korea
  - Speaking engagement – £136,000 for 30 hours work (including travel).
- 9^th November 2020 – Lancaster Chamber of Commerce & Industry, USA
  - Virtual speaking engagement – £45,500 for 6 hours work.
- 20^th January 2021 –The Richmond Forum, USA
  - Speech – £48,245 for 3 hours work.
- 20^th January 2021 – TPG Communication, France
  - Speech – £39,000 for 2 hours work.
- 4^th February 2021 – Society of the Four Arts, USA
  - Virtual speaking engagement – £38,672 for 5 hours work.
What else has Theresa been pocketing lately from her ‘Magic Money Tree’?
- An MPs salary of £81,932 plus expenses “to cover the costs of running an office, employing staff, having somewhere to live in London or their constituency, and travelling between Parliament and their constituency.”
- An £85,000 per year salary from the Office of Theresa May Limited “until further notice” for just 24 hours work per month or just 288 hours work per year.
- Honorary life membership of the Carlton Club.
- ‘VIP treatment’ at Heathrow Airport, valued at £4,200 a pop, at least 14 times totalling at least £58,800.
- Substantial rental income from a flat in London owned jointly with her husband.
- A discount card from Amanda Wakeley, “which has the potential to be of registrable value.”
Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

Theresa’s in the Trough – Theresa May may go down in history as one of the very worst Prime Ministers ever, yet she and her hedge fund tin banger husband Philip have pocketed titles and are set to receive multi-millions of pounds in future income.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc9tToN5XGk
Theresa’s in the Trough – Sir Philip May’s employer’s, Capital Group, are regularly quite rightly criticised over the legitimacy of their potentially unethical investments. Plainly and frankly, he and his wife don’t give a damn.
April 15, 2021
Wallies of the Week 2021 – Stephen Cloobeck and Stefanie Gurzanski
Self-proclaimed billionaire Stephen Cloobeck and OnlyFans.com stripper Stefanie Gurzanski’s court battle makes a mockery of the both of them; this tawdry pair should both “belt up, wrap up and shut up”

In 2017, after we reported on the on-off-on-again-off-again-on-again (or ‘whatever’) ‘catfight lovefest’ between the billionaire divorcee Joceyln Wildenstein and fashion fruitcake Lloyd Klein, the latter bombarded The Steeple Times with a torrent of rants.

This week, on April Fool’s Day most appropriately, Vanity Fair’s William D. Cohan reported on an equally awful dopey duo, 59-year-old Stephen Cloobeck and 26-year-old Stefanie Gurzanski, who’ve only gone and managed to eclipse Klein and Wildenstein’s angry antics.

An individual who claims “he has a picture of himself and Joe Biden in his bedroom, ‘which he slept in with me’ (whatever that means),” according to Cohan, self-proclaimed billionaire Cloobeck recently brought a lawsuit against self-proclaimed Instagram ‘star’ Gurzanski.

Cloobeck has accused Gurzanski of conning him out of £940,000 ($1.3 million, €1.1 million or درهم4.8 million) and even posing nude in his son’s yarmulke. The pair had dated for roughly six months from May 2020 after being introduced by a “matchmaker for prominent men,” Katherine Abigail Lee.

Now, after the most public of spats over “racy photos,” caviar, handbags and jewellery, she’s calling him “irrational” and he’s branded her a “cunning fraudster.” Like Klein and Wildenstein, it’s most likely this is just the beginning and no doubt next month, these attention seeking imbeciles will have resolved their battle and be back at it. Yuck!

A selection of Stephen Cloobeck and Stefanie Gurzanski’s worst moments, featured in Vanity Fair and in a restraining order application and in documents filed to the Los Angeles Superior Court, follow.

Pictured top: Tubby Stephen Cloobeck may be rich, but he actually just resembles something that’s fallen off the turnip truck (left); blonde bimbo Stefanie Gurzanski, meanwhile, could perhaps do with being given some new clothing (right). The pair of them need to get one other thing: Dignity.

Stephen Cloobeck’s worst one-liners:
- “She said she loved me.”
- “She was not a top 10 blow job of mine, okay… You want me to be real? She was not a top 10.”
- “I am a self-made man.”
- “The Internet says I’m only worth $100 million, which is just fine with me. My house in Beverly Hills is worth $100 million, and I own a $45 million home for cash in Cabo, and I own my own jet. You can do the math yourself.”
- “I date beautiful women. I didn’t know there was an offence to that. I love beautiful women. What can I tell you?”
- “She created [an apartment he gave her] into a porn set… Little did I know.”
- “She’s buying all this lingerie. I’m like, Okay, I think it’s for me. No. She’s wearing it so she can do these fucking porno shoots, and I’m blinded. I’m buying all this makeup. I’m buying all her hair extensions. I’m buying everything. Believe me, everything. And I’m like, ‘So you’re using my money to make money on OnlyFans? I’m not getting this program here.’ Sexy pictures, as long as they’re for me, I’m cool with it.”
- “I lost it. I went nuclear because I’ve never been so upset and disrespected. I’m the victim. I never felt so bad.”
- “She’s a fraud. She’s a con and she’s done this before.”
- “I will never stop until I see justice [against Stefanie Gurzanski]… We will make sure you never sleep well until you are wearing Orange and resting behind bars.
- “I worked my ass off and got my ass kicked.”
- “I’m very transparent. I’m not afraid. I’m very thoughtful.”
- “I owe nothing to no one.”
- “I’m very proud. I’m a proud man.”
- “I’m very proud of my record.”
Stefanie Gurzanski’s worst one-liners:
- “It’s 2021. Everyone is on OnlyFans or Instagram. Everyone has a public life these days.”
- “Right off the bat [Stephen Cloobeck] just wanted me to be his girlfriend and was just right off the bat.”
- “[Stephen] is a little bit out there and very immature.”
- “He was just very, like, seemed a little bit crazy.”
- “He wanted to show me off… The photos made me uncomfortable because he would invite his son and daughter in his bedroom, and there’s a huge photo of me naked on the wall.”
- “I have gone as far as hiring a security guard because I am scared of being harmed.”
- “Stephen knows where I live.”
- “I can crawl back into a hole and be nothing if I won’t be with him.”
- “Imagine being so obsessed with someone that you sue them just to be in touch with them.”
- “Imagine being sued because you’re the hottest girl that persons [sic] ever seen.”
Wallies of the Week 2021 – Stephen Cloobeck and Stefanie Gurzanski – ‘The New York Post’ rather overgenerously branded the spat between these bickering babies as ‘Mogul vs. Model’ (but should simply have called the feud ‘Trash vs. Trash’). Here, indeed, is a case just like that of Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard where nobody deserves victory.
April 2, 2021
The Fake News of Love Yourself

PR peddler Ivy Holt of Media PR makes a prized pillock of her client Love Yourself by trying to spread unentertaining fake news; all she achieved was to prove herself to be a wannabe Brian Basham

At 11:55am yesterday, a prattling PR peddler named Ivy Holt of Media PR Limited – a firm we’d thankfully never heard of or knowingly dealt with previously – had the gall to send The Steeple Times fake news on the very day we’d joined those respectfully marking the 20^th anniversary of the tragic murder of Stuart Lubbock at the home of the disgraced entertainer Michael Barrymore.

Beginning, as if to be clever with an ‘embargo’ and really just sharing a rotten attempt to promote her client Love Yourself – a Park Royal, NW10 based flogger of overpriced dieting regimes – Ms Holt (who is listed as Ivy Elizabeth Barbara Elsby by Companies House) attempted to make light of those suffering during the pandemic with cheap throwaway lines. She supplied a completely invented tale about a non-existent bean and spuriously claimed it could cause “excess lockdown weight” to be lost “quickly.”

Having written back to this not-so-clever practitioner of piffle at 12:38pm to point out that her press release wasn’t exactly witty, the mendacious minx tried to justify her stupid stunt on behalf of Love Yourself, a company that plainly has no honest story of its own to tell.

At 12:47pm, proving she’s as much use as a chocolate teapot when it comes to marketing might, Holt bleated:

“Fake Fun [sic] news in a fun on April the 1st, It is called April Fools day [sic]. This is 100% positioned for that. Tomorrow brands like Heinz, Apple, Tesla will all have April fools [sic] jokes in national papers. Yet, no-one will complain about their ‘Fake news’ as they are big brands.”

Going further and turning on the inevitable wokeness of Oprah loving private profiteers ‘Ginge and Cringe,’ Covent Garden and Bridlington, East Yorkshire based Holt then just had to come back with more. That came in the form of a tediously tepid “I’d also like to point out” in spite of her having been sent no further correspondence.

Choosing to slam the very publication she’d minutes earlier tried to feed her fake news to, at 12:57pm definite never to be a winner of a spelling bee Holt returned and barked:

“You must be very proud to work in an organisation that dismisses new stories for April Fools day [sic] and instead write harmful articles on people [such as Lindsay Lohan] who have been in rehab, This is what is wrong with society. Too eager to point the finger and call, rathe [sic] than look inside. Keep up the ‘good’ work.”

If you’re after a PR to make a prat of you or your company, do drop aspiring successor to Jo Moore, the world’s leading “burier of bad news,” Ivy Holt of Media PR a line. She won’t fail to disappoint and plainly is the kind of fake news spreader who’d also prove a useful addition to Brian Basham’s team helping Ghislaine Maxwell as she faces trial for trafficking minors in July.

As for Love Yourself, we today urge our readers to boycott their bilge until they appoint a more intelligent marketing department.

Next!

The Fake News of Love Yourself – Ivy Holt’s supposed creation of ‘Lipra Sloof’ is actually nothing new. In 2015 on April Fool’s Day, Laser Hack posted the musings of a fake doctor of that name who claimed to be able to turn fire to ice.

The Fake News of Love Yourself – Another example of this kind of marketing campaign came in 2017 in time for April Fool’s Day, in the form of a promotion by FootAsylum in 2017 of a range of trainers called ‘Sloof Lirpas.’

April 1, 2021
Basham-ing About

As Brian Basham peddles another puff piece for mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell today, ‘The Steeple Times’ reminds him that we covered this news first on the 6^th March

PR peddler Brian Basham has friends in high and low places and today, yet again, his chums at The Telegraph gave him acreage in a puff piece where he tried to big up the currently incarcerated mucky madam he’s acting as “spokesman” for, Ghislaine Maxwell.

Of “breaking news” this morning (that we’d covered first on the 6^th March and later on 10^th March also) that Maxwell was selling her “showgirl-hooker-esque” Belgravia mews house, bombastic Basham – who’s also been prone to keeping his fingers busy retweeting the obnoxious oddity Owen Jones of late – told the Barclay family owned rightwing rag:

“She is selling the house in order to pay her lawyers. There is already £5 million ($7 million, €5.9 million or درهم25.7 million) set aside but this will take it to more than £7.2 million ($10 million, €8.4 million or درهم36.7 million).”

“Ghislaine will be sad to see the house sold. She is devastated by all this. She will have a lot of good memories. She will be terribly sad to sell the house. It was her refuge in London.”

Whether such “good memories” included Prince Andrew bonking in the romp pad’s supposedly tiny bathtub on 10^th March 2001 was unsurprisingly not discussed, but yet again Brian Basham’s obsequious spin that the ‘Bouncing Czech’s’ daughter is trying to cooperate with authorities as she seeks bail ought to be called out for what it truly is and that is “complete Barry bull.”

Elsewhere on Wednesday, our editor, Matthew Steeples, appeared on Shaun Attwood’s True Crime Channel to discuss Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein’s curious real estate shenanigans. A link to the half hour discussion will follow on YouTube in due course and will be published in The Steeple Times also.

Pictured top: PR peddler Brian Basham (left) and demanding deviant Ghislaine Maxwell with her one-time lover croaked paedophile and ‘ex-bestie’ of ‘Randy Andy,’ Jeffrey Epstein.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGnUxiOADzY&feature=emb_logo
Basham-ing About – Shaun Attwood visited 44 Kinnerton Street, Belgravia, London, SW1X 8ES in September 2019 and managed to film the white bannister that was also seen in the now infamous photograph of Ghislaine Maxwell lurking as the Duke of York wrapped his chubby fingers round the waist of Virginia Roberts (now married and known as Virginia Giuffre) on 10^th March 2001.

Basham-ing About – ‘That’ photograph that Prince Andrew has so desperately tried to claim to be a fake that nobody at all has managed to discredit yet. Of it, even ‘Grubby Ghislaine’s’ own brother, Ian Maxwell, told Radio 4 this week: “I recognise the setting.”

Bashaming About – Ghislaine Maxwell purchased 1,000 square foot 44 Kinnerton Street on 22nd January 1997 for £290,000 ($401,000, €337,000 or درهم5 million) and tried to flog it for £2.6 million ($3.6 million, €3 million or درهم3 million) in September 2020 through agents Aylesford. Of it, one leading property commentator remarked: “It’s the kind of house that could have featured in ‘Smiley’s People,’ in fact it’s the kind of house where the showgirl-hooker Mandy Rice-Davies could have cavorted with John Profumo.”

March 12, 2021
Hero of the Hour 2021 – Josh Kelly

Enterprising Islington cabbie Josh Kelly turns to delivering pie and mash to replace fare absence during coronavirus lockdowns

Brought to our attention by reader June Clarke, Josh Kelly is someone just like book exchange heroine Olivia Clements who has done something positive for those in his neighbourhood during the coronavirus lockdowns.

Taxi driver Mr Kelly, after seeing his income from driving his black cab predictably plummet due to people staying at home, created Popham Pies to deliver minced beef pies with mash from M. Manze in Bermondsey throughout Islington.

Having identified a “gap in the market,” he was featured on ITV yesterday and remarked:

“[Delivering pie and mash is] pretty much my main job now because there’s just no work in the taxi at the moment – obviously with the lockdown no-one’s going anywhere.”

“It’s gone from [being able to work 24/7] to you might work 10 hours and end up with £20… When lockdowns come to an end there is some work, but very little, still quite bad. So, this was just something to sort of guarantee me a bit more money per week.”

“I don’t even go out in the taxi any more, to be honest, because it’s just not worth it. Last time I went out I did four hours and I got one job which was £16 and that covered the diesel. Once the pandemic is over there probably will be a lot less cab drivers out there.”

“It is tough when you go from working six, seven days a week to doing nothing. So, I really had to come up with something myself.”

“It’s traditional London and pie and mash in a traditional taxi, so I just thought it would catch people’s attention.”

“It’s a very traditional London thing, just like the black taxi is, so that’s why I tied the two together.”

A single pie and mash is charged at £5, a double at £9 and a triple at £13.50. All come with liquor.

Islington based readers can order from Popham Pies via Instagram or WhatsApp on +447388781736. Those elsewhere can arrange to collect from Josh Kelly by appointment in chilled (ready to cook) or cooked (to heat in a microwave) form.

Popham Pies has over 600 followers on Instagram and over 1,000 on Facebook.

Enterprising taxi driver Josh Kelly set up Popham Pies during the coronavirus lockdown to keep himself busy. He “hopes to be able to continue the pie and mash delivery service, possibly recruiting other cab drivers to expand into other areas of London.”

February 23, 2021
Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Anne Robinson

Anne Robinson’s appointment as the ‘Countdown’ host is a breath of fresh air and the carping ‘woke’ should pipe down about it

In spite of a somewhat soppy iNews journalist named Benjamin Butterworth getting in a terrible tizzy yesterday and ludicrously suggesting her to be someone who played on “cynical tropes” and “brutality,” Anne Robinson’s appointment as the first female host of Countdown is actually a breath of fresh air.

Whilst the ‘woke’ whingebags amongst us will undoubtedly bleat about ‘The Queen of Mean’s’ supposed “vindictiveness” towards single mothers and gay people being unacceptable in this age, the ‘sweet pea’ that is actually the most charming delight in reality that is Miss Robinson is someone to be celebrated.

It must be remembered that Robinson – whose up-down-and-back-up-again life story was grippingly told in her 2001 Memoirs Of An Unfit Mother – is someone who went from living on £300 per week to being worth over £50 million in spite of enduring both alcoholism and a painful custody battle. An example to us all in that she turned her personal life and personal fortunes around, here also is someone with both wit and wisdom.

Commenting on her appointment this week, Robinson amusingly told Channel 4’s Steph’s Packed Lunch:

“I am beyond thrilled to be joining Countdown. The show is almost as old as I am and just as historic. I am particularly excited to be working alongside the show’s two other formidable women.”

“Worryingly, Susie and Rachel are not only very smart but younger, prettier and thinner than me. Sadly, there’s no time for another face lift so I’ll have make do with this old one.”

“Three Clever Girls Do Countdown! Don’t you love the sound of that?”

“I am a crossword nut so the Countdown’s conundrums I can make sense of. But the adding up and taking away – I can’t go much further than working out the fee once my agent takes his cut.”

Here is someone with grit and spirit and here is someone who doesn’t moan and groan; here, in fact, is just what we need in these depressing times. It is time for all to hail the return of Anne Robinson and for all to celebrate the rebirth of honest directness.

Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Anne Robinson was the anchor for the popular BBC quiz show ‘The Weakest Link’ from 2000 to 2012. It deservedly made her a fortune and when it ended, rightminded folk everywhere lamented its loss. Her return to our screens now is most definitely something to look forward at a time when the nation is still enduring the most miserable of lockups.

February 18, 2021
Shifty Job Killer

‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green’s legacy now should be just one thing; this beached whale billionaire should go down in history as a job killer

Megalomaniac Robert Maxwell notoriously liked to pee off the top of his headquarters onto innocent members of the public below. He supposedly believed this made him ‘better’ than them and equally, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s late papa is said to have held court with the lavatory door open so as to ensure his audience heard him ‘evacuate.’

Other common traits amongst lunatics of this type include extreme vanity and just as a photograph emerged of ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green with his arms crossed attempting to look like a tyrannical dictator, it can now actually be simply concluded that this bloated billionaire will actually just go down in history as a jackass job killer.

This morning, whilst the majority of the mainstream media shamefully simply passed this shocking story by, the Mirror revealed that the Boohoo ‘deal’ to buy Dorothy Perkins, Wallis and Burton from Green’s failed Arcadia Group will immediately cost 7,450 jobs on top of 2,000 already made redundant.

Whilst slobbish ‘Sir Shifty’ and his title-obsessed wastrel wazzock wife ‘Lady Greed’ wallow in luxury and spray champagne on their £100 million superyacht, that’s 7,450 more people and their families who are on their way to penury.

In total between Debenhams and Arcadia, the Mirror added “up to 25,000 retail jobs have either gone or at risk” and whilst “Green wanted to turn Topshop into a global phenomenon, hiring Kate Moss to front a collection,” it is now time that Boris Johnson manned up and did the right thing: All that remains is to strip job killer Sir Philip Green of his knighthood.

Join the nigh on 300,000 people who’ve signed the Change.org petition to demand Sir Philip Green by stripped of his knighthood by clicking here.

Pictured top: A portrait of job killer and recent recipient of a £50 million personal pay day Sir Philip Green by Jake Walters who, of it, tweeted: “Taken on his Arcadia office balcony on Oxford Street. He was unpleasant and to me and my assistant when we arrived to photograph him so, I thought… Well if it’s OK for you to act like a prick, it must be OK to make you look like one. So, I did.”

Shifty Job Killer – In September 2016, legendary actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff commented of Sir Philip Green: “I can see Sir Shifty in the dock: A perfect Capone; think about it Phil” in an article for ‘The Steeple Times.’

Shifty Job Killer – Whilst being a tubby twerp himself, in October 2018, the ‘Daily Mail’ reported that Sir Philip Green had “bullied” the PA of his “best friend” Richard Desmond and called her a “fat, Geordie c*nt.” At the time, Samantha Watson commented: “He is probably the worst person I have ever met, and was just so rude and obnoxious. He would phone in and if I was even a millisecond late in transferring the call he would call me every name under the sun… He was a greasy little squirt with his big belly sticking through his shirt buttons.”

February 9, 2021
Sir Shifty’s £50 million Pay Day

That ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green will get a £50 million personal pay day from the sale of TopShop whilst 20,000 lose their jobs is an utter outrage

‘Badly behaved boozy Brit abroad’ Sir Philip Green likes to spray champagne rather than sip it and now with news that he and his wife are getting a £50 million personal pay day whilst 20,000 lose their jobs at TopShop, the public will be quite rightly outraged if he’s spotted brandishing a bottle or ten of bubbly.

Whilst the temperamental tycoon’s sister, Elizabeth, quite rightly told ‘Sir Shifty’ and ‘Lady Greed’ to man-up and say sorry as “an expression of compassion and responsibility” in January, on Saturday the Guardian reported that 1,155 unsecured creditors of the Green’s collapsed company – amongst them clothing suppliers and landlords – will receive less than 1% of the money owed to them.

Debts to the public purse via HMRC, another creditor, are not included in that tranche of debts also and what also must be remembered is that Sir Philip and Lady Green will still get to live in luxury just as 20,000 of their former staff head off into penury.

Shame on this pair of pigs and shame on Boris Johnson for not already stripping this robber baron of his very much undeserved title.

Join the 251,000 people already calling for the forfeiture committee to strip Sir Philip Green of his knighthood on Change.org by clicking here.

Pictured top: Asset stripper Sir Philip Green with his one-time chum and now jailed sexual abuser Harvey Weinstein.

Sir Shifty’s £50 million Pay Day – Shameless scumbags Sir Philip and Lady Green on a dinghy with two crew members. Presumably, these two chaps will not suffer the same fate as 20,000 other former workers of theirs.

Sir Shifty’s £50 million Pay Day – Tubby twerp Sir Philip Green and his family will be able to continue to ‘live-it-up’ on their £100 million superyacht, Lionheart. His former TopShop staff, meanwhile, will now find themselves living on the breadline.

February 1, 2021
Sorry is the Shiftiest Word

‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green’s sister tells him to man up and say sorry over the Arcadia collapse debacle; the chubby chump will likely ignore her

Having completed the ruination of the lives of 13,000 employees and their families in early December, ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green and his wife ‘Lady Greed’ showed how little they cared by booking a fancy £30,000 per night holiday in the Maldives to complete the picture of just how out of touch with ordinary folk they truly are.

Responding in the Sunday People today, the disgraced, fallen tycoon’s “saddened” sister, Elizabeth Green – author of Not In The Script: The Black Sheep in the Billionaire’s Family and owner of a vegan restaurant in New York – quite rightly remarked:

“Philip should [say sorry] to his staff for what has happened. An apology is an expression of compassion and responsibility.”

“It is a statement that we’re willing to take responsibility for our actions. It is not an admittance of guilt, nor is it taking the blame.”

Asked how their late mother would have reacted, Ms Green went further and suggested she “would have scolded [Sir Philip] over the demise of the fashion chain and the BHS scandal” and added: “She would have told him off and she would have told him he was being stupid.”

She is right, but somehow we suspect this intervention will fall on deaf ears; Tina Green, after all, is too busy worrying about keeping her title whilst tubby, tantrum prone Philip is likely right now focused on nothing but topping up his tepid tan.

Pictured top: “Sorry” isn’t a word one expects to hear from Sir Philip and Lady Green anytime soon. Instead, this grotesque pair are no doubt slobbed out in the sunshine counting their billions.

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Sorry is the Shiftiest Word – Sir Philip Green has always been smug. Here, him and his wife are pictured with their daughter Chloe and her now departed criminal ‘baby dada,’ Jeremy Meeks.

Sorry is the Shiftiest Word – Sir Philip Green is known for his temper and arrogance. On that basis, the prospect of an apology from him over the collapse of the Arcadia Group seems highly unlikely and his sister may find herself never witnessing such.

January 3, 2021
Blow-Up The Donald 2021

Auction to blow-up Donald Trump in 2021 commences online for charity; the opportunity to implode is expected to sell for £375,000 and porn star Stormy Daniels is trying to get involved

Whilst Bill Clinton will be best be remembered for being given blowjobs under his desk in the Oval Office by Monica Lewinksy, someone wanting to erase the memory of Donald Trump can now literally pay to blow him to smithereens – and that person could be none other than his own alleged “ex-blower” Stormy Daniels.

Atlantic City, New Jersey is to demolish the dilapidated former Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino early next year and in an effort to raise money for a local charity, the Boys and Girls Club of Atlantic City, they are selling the rights to “trigger the explosives that will bring the building down.”

Of the auction to virtually implode the building, which is now owned by a property investor named Carl Icahn, Atlantic City Mayor Marty Small remarked:

“[Donald Trump] took advantage of bankruptcy laws, took advantage of a lot of people… He openly mocked Atlantic City, made a lot of money in Atlantic City, and then got out.”

“I wanted to use the demolition of this place to raise money for charity. Personally, I’m a pretty ambitious guy. I want to raise at least $1 million.”

Bizarrely, getting involved in the bidding in a “fly-by-night” fashion, according to the New York Post, is Trump’s alleged ex-squeeze, the porn star Stormy Daniels. They report that one of her “superfans,”a man named Joe Bedell of St Louis, Missouri, is fundraising to bring the structure crashing down and add that she herself announced: “I really want to do it…and we all know I’m good at pressing buttons. LOL #teamstormy.”

Daniels – whose real name is Stephanie Clifford – later added: “See…? Dreams can come true! This will piss off Tiny so fucking much! And it’s for charity… one he can’t steal from. LOL!”

Early bidding for the opportunity to be a modern-day Fred Dibnah currently stands at £40,000 ($53,500, €43,800 or درهم196,000) with a high estimate of £373,000 ($500,000, €409,000 or درهم1.8 million) and the lot will be sold live on Tuesday 19^th January 2021 at 6pm GMT.

The GoFundMe page to help raise money for a bid to enable “Stormy Daniels to push the button to implode Trump Plaza in Atlantic City for charity” has thus far had 84 donations and raised £1,300 ($1,755, €1,400 or درهم6,400) of a rather ambitious £747,000 ($1 million, €819,000 or درهم3.7 million) target.

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Blow-up The Donald 2021 – Plainly, given bidding thus far, a number of wealthy individuals like the idea of blowing up Donald Trump.

Blow-up The Donald 2021 – The 39-storey Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, New Jersey opened in May 1984 and closed in September 2014. It had 906 hotel rooms and over 86,000 square feet of gaming space. The unoccupied 36-year-old building is now considered “a danger to public safety because of falling debris” and will be demolished in early February 2021.

Blow-up The Donald 2021 – Donald Trump with Stephanie Clifford (AKA ‘Stormy Daniels’) in 2006 in a photo shared on her MySpace account. Clifford was paid the sum of £97,000 ($130,000, €106,000 or درهم477,000) by Trump’s then lawyer, Michael Cohen, a month before the 2016 United States presidential election to sign an NDA about their “alleged affair.”

Some people, including the poster of this YouTube video Rexi Roxi, considered the Trump Casino & Hotel Atlantic City building “beautiful” and a “favourite hang-out,” but most would now agree that this monstrosity of a building was just yet another example of Donald Trump’s appalling lack of class and good taste. It will not be remembered fondly by many.

Closed since 2014, the crumbling oceanfront building has become an eyesore and is considered dangerous and an utter embarrassment by the people of Atlantic City.

December 22, 2020