Which shooting tribe do you belong to?

George Appleton identifies three breeds within the shooting classes and urges readers to see which they belong to

 

You live:

A) In a damp castle in some far flung rural shire, as far away from London as possible.

B) London during the week, country at weekends.

C) Divide your time between London and Dubai.

 

Which shooting tribe do you belong to?
Which shooting tribe do you belong to?

 

You shoot:

A) On your family’s 800-year-old estate in Cumbria, and occasionally at cousin Algy’s in Norfolk.

B) Anywhere and everywhere. Pheasant in Yorkshire and Devon, partridge in Spain, and grouse in Scotland.

C) You rarely venture out of the Home Counties. You think Surrey is positively rural, and Gloucestershire might as well be the Scottish Highlands.

 

Your kit comprises of:

A) A once new, but now rusting Purdey side by side. You always wear your family’s estate tweed, and generally anything with holes in. Wellies are bog standard green Dunlops.

B) A well-used pair of Beretta over and unders. Expensive shooting coat from Schoffel or Musto. Le Chameau wellies with zip sides, a la Kate Middleton but with actual mud on.

C) The latest state of the art bespoke pair of Holland & Hollands, and a Toad of Toad Hall-style three-piece suit. Your leather boots come from Ralph Lauren.

 

Your dog(s):

A) You have a whole kennel full. Two blacks labs called Bertie and Gussie, Cecil the Irish wolf hound, and a Jack Russell named Humphrey (nicknamed Humpers for obvious reasons).

B) You don’t – you leave that sort of thing to the pickers up.

C) Lady Ga Ga, the Cockapoo.

 

You drive:

A) A beaten up old Land Rover Defender, with moss growing on the roof and grass sprouting in the back.

B) The latest Range Rover Sport in Forest Green.

C) You don’t – you get chauffeured around in your Bentley Bentayga.

 

Your significant other is:

A) Frumpy and dumpy, but produces a cracking shoot lunch.

B) A willowy blonde, rarely seen on shoot days.

C) A Russian model, who always decamps to the nearest Range Rover after the first drive as all that banging gives her a headache.

 

Mostly (a) – You’re ‘Old School’ – when you were growing up, everyone you knew had their own gamekeeper. Oh and by the way, don’t you think central heating is just so arriviste? Classic ‘Old Schooler’ – Francis ‘f-ing’ Fulford.

 

Mostly (b) – You’re a ‘Seasoned Pro’ – you probably have a significant private income but still pull in a packet every year in the City, which is just as well as you spend it all on shooting. Classic ‘Pro’ – William van Cutsem.

 

Mostly (c) – You’re a ‘Nouveau Newbie’ – you struggle to tell one end of a gun from the other, but those clothes are dope. Classic ‘Newbie’ – David Beckham.

 

George Appleton is a UCL graduate and freelance writer who is based in North Lancashire.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:[wysija_form id=”1″]

 

10 COMMENTS

  1. Just explain what is fun about killing animals? Do these people understand what it is to take away life? To cause pain and suffering to creatures that have sentience, social relationships and the ability to feel the agony of being shot?

  2. Sorry, but why would you be idiotic enough to let Purdey’s rust? When I was young the first rule was to look after your gun/s. Clearly, Appleton, s a young boy, you had no gamekeeper to teach how to shoot .
    A good gamekeeper would never allow you to neglect your gun.
    There is a really boring snobbery about ‘best’ London guns and most written by people like Appleton who have superficial understanding.
    Had I a choice a pair of Boss o/u’s would suit me well. I prefer shooting with o/u’s and it was 30’s snobbery that made people feel they were common
    My favourite was a John Dixon Round Action which I bitterly regret selling. Probably better than a London gun in terms of balance. And, certain Beretta and other Italian and Spanish guns are far superior to modern day Purdeys or H&H,
    I handled a Beretta o/u which had been modified by a gunmaker in Chichester; it was stunningly beautiful.
    So, Mr Appleton, your attempts to prove you are an old school shooter are just a bit lame.

  3. Well said Mr Wayde, I second every point you make here, especially about ignorant gun snobbery and I too love the Dixon round action although I have yet to find one myself. The more I read your posts which are always to the point, the more I regret our stupid early spat which was probably my fault, will you accept my apologies?

  4. Thank you, thats a good seasonal reconciliation then. I loved your comments about the things you would pay most not to attend (Dec 6th). The loathsome “Sir” Phillip Green tops my list of people who I consider least deserve a knighthood.What was it granted for exactly I wonder? being greedy and avoiding British taxes by residing in Monaco ?

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Pooling Barrymore

As outdoor swimming pools reopened, Michael Barrymore trended on social media; it is time thus to remind the disgraced entertainer to reveal the truth about what happened on the night of the 31st March 2001.

A Mini White House in Mississippi

Colonial Revival ‘Mini White House’ on an 8-acre plot in Mississippi for sale for just £299,000 or £56 per square foot; the mini mansion is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

Monster of the Moment – Dr Walter Palmer

Reprehensible “driller killer” dentist Dr Walter Palmer will forever be remembered for slaying ‘Cecil The Lion’; the sexual harasser of his own employees has now gone and done it again – this time the monster massacred an endangered ram.

Cheaper Than Fiction – A Bargain in The Boltons

Cheapest, smallest house on the best side of one of London’s most sought after streets, The Boltons, comes up for sale; the tardis like building was home to novelist-politician Jeffrey Archer and his scientist wife Mary in the 1970s.

Mackintosh Icebergs

‘Iceberg home’ formed in part from the former Glebe Place, Chelsea, SW3 studios of Charles Rennie Mackintosh and his wife for sale for sum 1,178% higher than in 2012.

Firing Up A 20th Century Limo

‘Stretched’ 1994 Toyota Century for sale for less than the price of a brand new Ford Fiesta; the rammed full of gadgets limousine comes with a food heating compartment and privacy curtains favoured by notoriously shy Japanese people even.

A Life in a Sentence

Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.

Moving On – July 2020 – Capone, Conran & Kennedy

Moving on homes owned by the newsworthy – including a country house apartment in a castle currently owned by Jasper Conran and the childhood homes of Al Capone and Jackie Kennedy.

Berkoff on Bears & Barbarians

Acclaimed actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff responds to an article in ‘The Times’ featuring an image of a sub-human barbarian with a polar bear he’d mercilessly slayed.

Bigging-Up a Bargain Mini Mansion

‘Stately’ ‘Cape Cod style’ ‘mini mansion’ in North Carolina with 1.14 acres of land for sale for just £44,000; it is situated in a town that was the birthplace of the biggest ever American, a very fat and very tall man named Mills Darden.

A Security Lobotomy at The Botanist

‘The Steeple Times’ reports on anything but a ‘Super Saturday’ at The Botanist on Sloane Square; we share here imagery and a video of a thieving woman whom must be caught.

What’s Dershowitz Got To Hide?

Matthew Steeples questions why Alan Dershowitz is getting so enthusiastic in his defence of the vile paedo procurer Ghislaine Maxwell.

Runners & Riders – The Coral-Eclipse 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ takes a look at the seven horse Group 1 Coral-Eclipse 2020 at Sandown and opts for a tasty outsider for an each way bet.

Will Ghislaine Maxwell Motor On?

As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021.

Runners & Riders – The Oaks and The Derby 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp double at Epsom on ‘Super Saturday’; we suggest enjoying The Oaks and The Derby 2020 at home.

Hooping A Half Price Mansion

Vast Edwardian mansion with basketball court in the roof in Watseka, Illinois for sale at half price it listed for in 2016; it’s on for just £20 per square foot.

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
23.6 ° C
25.6 °
21.7 °
22 %
6.2kmh
91 %
Mon
24 °
Tue
20 °
Wed
19 °
Thu
21 °
Fri
26 °