This creepy, permatanned ‘queen’ of the antiques trade claims to have blue blood on his mother’s side. Aside from appearing on the ‘mahogany skinned’ David Dickinson’s Real Deal television programme, Ian Towning once attempted to launch a pen for left-handed writers. He is often spotted promenading the Kings Road – from where he operates a somewhat downbeat market stall-esque dealership – in ‘full regalia’ and at a certain sun tanning parlour next to McDonalds.
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Russell Brand
Banned from South Africa and known for his “notoroious drug use, alcoholism and promiscuity”, this comedian is nothing but controversial. Brand has more followers than Stephen Fry on Twitter and signed a £1.8 million book deal with HarperCollins in 2008. He describes himself as being like an “S&M Willy Wonka”.





Readers have their say
5 comments
I think Ian is an absolute doll..and very knowledgable about antiques, as wirness on Dickinson’s Real Deal…a must for anyone interested in getting a value on dodgy items found at a car boot sale.
If Ian has any doubts, he says so. A refreshing attitude. I wish I could meet up with him; he always wears such sensational bijouterie.
“Dodgy” sums this nasty oik of a man up. He sells junk on a market stall in Chelsea and thinks he knows about Monet! What a laugh. Shame on the Mail for trusting a word of this cross dressing oddity.
I love Ian too. He is adorable. I doubt he will like to be so appealing to us girls though.
I see he’s in the Mail on Sunday today purporting to be an expert on Monet! He/she/it could not value a bus ticket.
When I think of him I think of “inside” and “job” in that order.
I agree with Harry. He doesn’t know ought about nowt.
Lock him up for the safety of real antiques experts everywhere.