On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?
Wetherspoons pub chain owner Tim Martin is a bore, a braggart and an on-off Boris Johnson groupie. This deservedly disliked dimwit is known for ranting in support of Brexit and not allowing European alcohol brands to be served in his venues and in January 2020, the draconian drip even “limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each.” This laughable lunatic even once went as far as to put a stop to champagne on the basis of where it has to be made.
Prior to these decidedly deranged decisions, 66-year-old Martin banned dogs both inside and outside his pubs (on the basis that his workers “are sick of picking up poop”) and then added social media usage to his list of things prohibited across all premises. Here is a man whom claimed to dislike the rules of the EU, but here also is one obsessed with creating ridiculous rules of his own.
Yesterday, when British pubs were finally allowed to reopen after the easing of the third lockdown and patrons flocked to bars to get pissed, the public took rightful revenge on Tim Martin.
Featured in an article by a trainee reporter for Cornwall Live named Edward Church, the Truro branch of the painfully picky chain, a dirty looking dump named Try Dowr, “wasn’t met with a stampede” on reopening and nor did it get “much of a fanfare.”
“By 7.30am, no one had shown up,” commented Church, before adding: “A few passersby seemed tempted… [But] none of them stuck around in chilly, windy Lemon Square for their chance of a cheap pint, and they wandered off to Pannier Market and elsewhere on the square… Time passed, however, and no queue materialised.”
Diddums to Tim Martin and perhaps a warning also: Nobody likes a killjoy and frankly nobody wanted to return to his funless dumps when freedom allowed. Perhaps it’s time for ‘Dim Tim’ to relax his ridiculous rules and turn his pubs back into places people might actually enjoy. Next!
A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – The Try Dowr branch of Wetherspoons is not exactly Britain’s most beautiful boozer, but one would have thought it would have had at least a few loyal customers willing to return to celebrate reopening. Plainly, the impact of tiresome Tim Martin’s ridiculous rules proved to the contrary on ‘Unlockdown Day 2021.’
A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – In July 2020, just before lockdown restrictions were for the first time relaxed, the @SteepleTimes Twitter account shared this clip of “a male and a female are seen staggering up and falling down a staircase whilst, frankly, p***ed out of their skulls” and accompanied it with the caption: “Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow.” It went viral and was liked by nearly 500 people and shared by nearly 200 also.A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ got somewhat worked up about the ‘Cornwall Live’ story. Some strangely actually supported Tim Martin, but the majority expressed sentiments such as: “That’s Wetherspoons for you, the locals are good judges. Actually a piece of half decent journalism from ‘Cornwall Live’ for once.”A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Another ‘APLIN’ member, Gerard Montgomery, concluded: “It would be nice to think this is people supporting local pubs and remembering how poorly ‘Spoons treated their staff,” whilst one Ian McGowan concluded: “I am waiting for ‘Hull Live’ to run a story of the first post lockdown punch-up in one of the local ‘Spoons. We should not have long to wait.”
Nikolay Kalinin slams the slapdash attitude of the Conservative Party to the sex pestering of both men and women by ‘Randy Rob’ Roberts MP
Welsh Conservatives seem to be a completely different breed; not only is their leader secretly a robot – which can be clearly evidenced from the way he speaks – but their MPs seem to have a problem with texting young women and asking them for sexual favours. First, we had Stephen Crabb, who somehow is still MP, and now we have Rob Roberts, MP for Delyn.
Having been exposed by BBC Wales almost a year ago for sending sexual texts to a young intern and asking if she wanted to “fool around with no strings attached,” Roberts is now on the path to being suspended from the House of Commons, meaning that another by-election could be on the horizon.
On a separate occasion, Roberts – who came out as gay in May last year – reportedly made a male Commons staffer uncomfortable and even made him change jobs after the MP asked him out and the youngster declined.
Roberts has since announced that he is intending to appeal against the decision to suspend him, although his efforts are expected to fail. If the Committee on Standards votes to suspend Roberts for more than 10 working days, this could lead to a recall petition, which possibly would result in a by-election being triggered if more than 10% of constituents sign the petition.
May I just remind you that a few weeks ago, a Conservative party spokesperson revealed that the inquiry into the MP’s conduct had concluded that “Mr Roberts has apologised for his behaviour and was instructed to undertake safeguarding and social media protection training.”
I have several questions: Why was ‘Randy Rob’ unable to avoid accountability for almost a year, and why was his punishment a simple slap on the wrist? Doesn’t this treatment greatly contrast with the principle of accountability that’s so essential to British politics, and why hasn’t Stephen Crabb received the same punishment?
This case suggests that nothing much has changed in regards to the acceptance of the behaviour of MPs, even after people like Stephen Crabb, Mike Hill and Brooks Newmark got exposed for sending sexually suggestive texts had their political careers ended. These people all seem to have ‘David Mellor Syndrome,’ and that is worrying, because those are the people whom we elect to represent us and our interests, not so that they could use their position to get in bed with people more easily.
Randy Rob Deserves The Rod – Nikolay Kalinin believes the likes of Rob Roberts MP have ‘David Mellor Syndrome’ … Now, there’s a political dinosaur most would prefer erased from the past, present and future.Randy Rob Deserves The Rod – The shameless Conservative Party seems to have learnt nothing from the case of the jailing of former MP Charlie Elphicke. After the groping, bottom slapper known as the ‘Naughty Tory’ was convicted as a sex offender and deservedly sent down for two years, the party replaced him with his very own wife – after she took a £25,000 bung for an interview in ‘The Sun’ about the situation – and as of yet has done nothing about her and her colleagues using parliamentary stationery to inappropriately bombard the judiciary as part of their attempt to get him a lesser sentence.
Randy Rob Deserves The Rod – Rob Roberts made his debut in the House of Commons relatively recently in February 2020. It is a shame he hasn’t been able to behave himself at all appropriately during the time since.
Nikolay Kalinin shares his thoughts on Labour’s electoral hiding in Hartlepool
On Friday, came the result that everybody expected: The Labour Party lost the Hartlepool by-election to the Conservatives and for the first time since the constituency was created in 1974, a party other than Labour has the seat.
The outcome is both surprising and not surprising; after all, back in 2016 nearly 70% of Hartlepool voters supported leaving the EU, and the successful COVID-19 vaccine rollout has ensured that the government has the majority of public support. Yet in 2017, the Corbyn led Labour managed to retain the seat, even gaining the majority of the vote, and in the 2019 election Labour retained the seat, even though the party was seen as the biggest opponent of Brexit.
The truth is that there’s no single reason why Labour lost the by-election; Lord Mandelson for example has attributed Labour’s defeat to the “two Cs – Corbyn and COVID,” while casting Brexit as a secondary issue: “Believe it or not, not on one door that I knocked did a single voter mention Brexit to me. The one thing they did raise with me however is Jeremy Corbyn – he is still casting a very dark cloud over Labour,” Mandelson remarked.
Labour’s defeat and Jill Mortimer’s win also lies in the absence of the Brexit Party, now named Reform UK; back in 2019 the party split the vote, gaining 25.8% whereas the Conservatives gained 28.9%, which was instrumental in allowing Labour to win with just 37% of the vote. Had the Brexit Party not run that year, the Conservatives would have definitely won.
The disconnect between Labour and the electorate can be evidenced in Friday’s episode of BBC Radio 5 Live Breakfast, where several callers voiced their dissatisfactions with the party; one Conservative voter and small business owner stated that Labour “have taken Hartlepool for granted” and “chose a guy who was a devout Remainer.” Another caller added that Labour “needs to work on actually speaking to the working classes again” and connect with “small business owners, self-employed, Deliveroo drivers” as they “are the new working class.”
The choice of Paul Williams as Labour’s candidate for Hartlepool was also a factor in the party’s undoing in the by-election, since his choice once again evokes a disconnect between Labour and the voters they are trying to appeal to; not only was Williams an MP for another constituency – namely Stockton South – but he also opposed Brexit when most of the voters in his seat voted to leave the EU. You shouldn’t choose a Remainer to represent a Brexiteer constituency, just like you shouldn’t choose Priti Patel as ambassador for a mental health organisation, would be my conclusion.
Even Sir Keir Starmer seems to agree that Labour has been disconnected with the voters, as he reacted to the election results by saying, “Very often we’ve been talking to ourselves, instead of to the country, and we’ve lost the trust of working people, particularly in places like Hartlepool. I intend to do whatever is necessary to fix that.”
To a lesser extent another reason for Labour’s defeat is the fact that their previous MP, Mike Hill, was a sexual predator, which makes me wonder: “Why was Stephen Crabb, Conservative MP for Preseli Pembrokeshire, not forced out of his seat considering he was shown to be a degenerate with an unrestrained sexual desire.”
So, what is my overall analysis? Labour’s defeat in Hartlepool and the collapse of an important part of the ‘Red Wall’ was brought on by a wide range of factors, ranging from the time of Corbyn’s leadership, the successful vaccination rollout by the Conservative government, and also the issue over EU, which suggests that Brexit is still a prevalent issue among the British public.
Many would blame Corbyn for where the party is now, and I can agree that he dragged Labour down in 2019, but the truth is that Sir Keir might actually drag them down even further; whereas Corbyn tried to appeal to the “new working class” of young workers – which was essential in getting more young people to vote in 2017 – Starmer has decided to go after the older homeowners who are more likely to vote Conservative.
If Labour wants to regain the seat and have a chance at challenging ‘Bosie The Clown’ and his sleazy Eton friends in 2024, they must connect with their core working-class electorate, no matter whether they voted for Brexit or not. The ‘Wallpapergate’ sleaze scandal seems to have no impact on the government at all, so it’s probably best if Labour now instead dedicates its time to connecting with those that actually could get them elected.
Pictured top: Sir Keir Starmer campaigning in Hartlepool with wannabe MP for the Paul Williams.
A Hiding in Hartlepool 2021 – Jill Mortimer didn’t win over voters in Hartlepool. Labour, in fact, lost them.
Susie Dent shares the fascinating origin of “going to the polls” just as Count Binface looks to get more votes than Laurence Fox in spite of the latter having a ludicrous £5 million campaign pot
With voting underway across the country, “that woman in Dictionary Corner” Susie Dent this morning shared with her 753,000 followers on Twitter the origin of “going to the polls” this morning:
Origin of the day: the ‘poll’ in ‘going to the polls’ originally meant ‘head’, referring to the counting of heads or votes. A ‘noddypoll’ was an incompetent fool, a ‘clod-poll’ a blockhead, and a ‘tadpoll’ (later ‘tadpole’) a ‘toad-head’.
“It has been a very long, and very tedious, London election campaign, but for some of the capital’s voters, perhaps bewildered by the multitude of different voting systems employed and vast number of candidates for Mayor or the London Assembly, there has been one bright spot: Count Binface.”
“In elections that were postponed from 2020, among the various races-within-the-race for City Hall, there is a fascination among those who long ago tired of the lies of Tory Shaun Bailey or the deadly dull platitudes of Sadiq Khan (did you know: his father was a London bus driver?), the idea that a geezer with a bin on his head could attract more votes than the spittle-flecked campaign of Laurence Fox has lightened the mood these past couple of weeks.”
“And what’s more, unlike so much of so many of the pointless political campaigns, Binface is actually doing some good, by raising thousands of pounds for homelessness charities.”
Elsewhere on social media yesterday, Count Binface himself shared an amusing video based on Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody asking his followers to make him their first choice today. The Steeple Times’ editor Matthew Steeples duly obliged when he headed to St Columba’s Church of Scotland in Pont Street, SW1 this morning and casted a protest for Max Fosh as his second choice also.
LONDON! Here's my final pitch to be your mayor, and/or the UK's next Eurovision entry. Make me your first choice vote, and together we will crush the loopy candidates. (You know who I mean.) #VoteBinfacepic.twitter.com/lZ7BpqE7Qv
Going to the Polls – Count Binface morphed into Whitney Houston to share his final pitch to be the next Mayor of London “and/or the UK’s next Eurovision entry.” He urged: “Make me your first choice vote, and together we will crush the loopy candidates. (You know who I mean.)”
Origin of the day: the ‘poll’ in ‘going to the polls’ originally meant ‘head’, referring to the counting of heads or votes. A ‘noddypoll’ was an incompetent fool, a ‘clod-poll’ a blockhead, and a ‘tadpoll’ (later ‘tadpole’) a ‘toad-head’.
Going to the Polls – Boris Johnson was escorted to vote in Westminster by his latest baby mama Carrie Symonds at just before 8am this morning. Whether she had to help the ‘noddypoll’ PM mark his voting card or not is unknown.Going to the Polls – Many Twitter users mocked the ex-actor Fox and remarked of their desire for Count Binface to actually be his ex-wife Billie Piper in disguise.Going to the Polls – The parody Boris Johnson account went further and declared: “To be honest, I don’t care if we take Hartlepool, as long as Count Binface beats that streak of piss, Laurence Fox.” 1,200 clicked “love” in response. Author Emma Kennedy added: “When Count Binface gets more votes than Waitrose Tommy Robinson tomorrow, I look forward to the 3682 5k thinkpieces/profile articles in The Telegraph and Sunday Times telling us what a brave visionary Count Binface is. Also: BBCQT AHOY!” and got 1,600 “loves” also.Going to the Polls – John O’Connell announced: “Duty done. I voted. Now I can freely spend the rest of the day taking the piss out of Shaun Bailey and Laurence Fox, and cheering on Count Binface.”
Nikolay Kalinin suggests that in spite of their crusade against Tory sleaze, Labour’s Sir Keir Starmer is failing to make any inroads and finds himself in a multifaceted mess
A week ago, Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer attempted to present himself as the superhero British politics needs in order to rid the country of Tory sleaze. He proffered that his scrutiny at Prime Minister’s Questions and photo-ops at John Lewis illustrated that Labour will annihilate the Tories in tomorrow’s elections simply because the governing party are just ‘no good.’
Yet, the truth for Sir Keir is actually far bleaker and a multifaceted mess, as ever since February the gap between the Conservatives and Labour in the polls has been increasing in the governing party’s favour and this has mostly been due to the UK government’s incredibly successful vaccination programme.
Even after the ‘Wallpapergate’ scandal, it seems like nothing much has changed, as a YouGov poll has projected that on 6th May, Labour is most likely to lose 59 seats in ‘Red Wall’ local councils, whereas the Conservatives are set to gain 90. Furthermore, 38% of people in ‘Red Wall’ council areas have stated that Boris Johnson would “make the best Prime Minister,” compared to just 30% for Starmer.
The by-election in the Hartlepool constituency meanwhile – which has been described as the first litmus test of Sir Keir Starmer’s Labour leadership – has also left many expecting Labour will lose their hold over the area. A poll conducted by Good Morning Britain concluded that 50% of the people interviewed in the area would vote for Conservative candidate Jill Mortimer, compared to the 33% that would vote for Labour candidate Paul Williams.
In even worse news for Labour, another GMB poll concluded that most people in Hartlepool had favourable feelings towards Conservatives (46%), compared to Labour’s 31%. Furthermore, 45% of people expressed negative feelings towards Labour, compared to 31% who expressed negativity towards Conservatives. It seems therefore like Labour is on the path to losing the seat, which has been controlled by them since its establishment in 1974.
Still, there has also been evidence in the last few days that suggests otherwise; a recent UK voting intention poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies has seen the Conservatives’ lead being slashed by 4%, whereas Labour has gained 4% in the polls, meaning that the gap between both is now a mere 2%.
As expected, Labour London Mayor Sadiq Khan is expected to retain his position as he maintains a fairly stable lead in the polls, with predictions that he’ll get 61% in the first round whereas his hapless Conservative rival Shaun Bailey will achieve a mere 39%.
There’s a dangerously high chance that the Conservatives will be able to use the vaccination success in order to win over the voters in councils and in Hartlepool, who will ignore the fact that their PM has used donated money for his own expenses and didn’t even disclose it.
Why has Sir Keir Starmer, in general, failed to deliver a fatal blow to the Tories in the lead-up to the elections? It’s most likely due to lack of a uniting ideology, but more importantly due to the lack of opposition; because of the government’s role in fighting against COVID-19, it’s possible that the role of Labour as an opposition party has been substantially reduced, as they are actually unable to scrutinise the Tories like they would normally have had had there been no pandemic. In some way, Sir Keir seems to be lacking the appeal that Jeremy Corbyn had as Labour leader, which allowed the party to receive an influx of members after decades of falling membership.
So far, the sleaze scandals have not hurt the Conservatives at all – as a matter of fact support for them has been increasing – and even more surprisingly the Labour Party that has been leading the campaign against sleaze is getting pummeled in the polls. It truly is concerning that a party that has such a large lack of connection with people is leading in the polls, because this should not happen in a country that is supposedly a representative democracy. We’ll just have to wait and see, but a very important first signal will emerge with the results tomorrow.
Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess – Sir Keir Starmer certainly did not help himself when he found himself kicked out of a pub in Bristol in April. His minder’s bullyboy conduct reflected very badly upon him and the fact that his aides had not checked the venue out first shows a shocking lack of coordination on the Labour Party’s part.Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess – Sir Keir Starmer believes: “Another future is possible,” but thus far he has failed to convince he is the man who could deliver such in post-coronavirus pandemic Britain.
Nikolay Kalinin asks YouTube star Max Fosh about why he decided to run as a candidate in the 2021 London mayoral elections
Max Fosh is running a campaign to simply get more votes than ‘Detective Sergeant Ignoramus,’ the actor Laurence Fox, in next week’s London mayoral elections.
However, outside of appearances on his YouTube channel, Fosh has not spoken much about his campaign and his rivalry with Fox, so I decided to get to know him better and asked him 10 questions on behalf of The Steeple Times:
NK: Did you intend to run for London Mayor back in 2020 before the pandemic, or was it only after Laurence Fox announced his campaign that you decided to run?
MF: I decided to run when I saw a BBC News article outlining all the potential candidates, and at the bottom it had the different things that one needs to do in order to become a nominee, which was to get 66 signatures from 33 different boroughs – 2 individual signatures per borough – and to raise a £10,000 deposit. That’s what caused me to run, and I decided my main target was Laurence when I realised: ‘Hey, Sadiq’s going to win this election,’ so I wanted to have my own candidate to run against. I saw Lozza – similar background [they both went to school at Harrow], no experience in politics, he’s got 5 million quid and I don’t – and I decided to see who wins.
NK: Do you feel as if people your age and occupation are not taken seriously, especially by politicians?
MF: I think people my age and occupation are taken seriously, especially when they are pulling in numbers that they are. I mean, Niko Omilana has 5% of the vote, and he’s polling high in the 18-25 year old demographic, so I think we are being taken seriously.
NK: What was your reaction when you saw all these articles about you appearing on sites such as Daily Mail and Metro and, of course, in The Steeple Times?
MF: My reaction was of course: ‘Ooh! How interesting!’ Look, I know my media is online, so any information or any article that’s written about me in the mainstream press is always… well, I wouldn’t say it’s a welcome bonus, but it’s there and as long as more people can read the story of Max Fosh and his mayoral run then that can only be a good thing.
NK: In regards to Laurence Fox, what are you doing in order to get more votes than him besides making videos featuring you pranking him? It’s essential to note that you were tied with him in the ITV opinion poll revealed some time ago.
MF: I wouldn’t say I’m pranking him at all. I’m just positioning myself as a candidate. I’m just trying to utilise my audience to go out and vote and I have to preface this – I said this in multiple videos: I don’t want people to vote for me just because it can be fun. I want people to look at all the candidates running and make a formal decision and vote for whom they think is the best Mayor of London.
Would I be the best Mayor of London? Absolutely not. Would Laurence? Absolutely not. I’m just using my audience and the platform to encourage young people to vote.
NK: Will Laurence Fox in your opinion ever reach his political ambitions of first becoming London Mayor and then MP? What will happen to his Reclaim Party?
MF: I do not have the personal political expertise at all to be able to tell you whether he’ll reach his political ambitions. I mean, I’m not sure what his political ambitions really are; in this election, do I think he’s going to become Mayor of London? Absolutely not. In regards to the Reclaim Party, I really could not say, because it’s not my place to say. That’s more of a question for the party.
NK: How are you planning to react if you fail to get more votes than Fox?
MF: I would shake his hand, congratulate him and retire from politics.
NK: If you were legitimately running for position of London Mayor, what policies would you write in your manifesto?
MF: I am legitimately running for the position; I don’t think you could get any more legitimate than putting your name on the ballot paper. If you would like to see my manifesto, it’s all on laurencefox.org.
NK: Would you ever consider creating your own political party?
MF: No, not at all. I very much intend to retire after 6th May from politics altogether – whatever the result (obviously even if I win, which is an infinitesimal chance).
NK: How do you feel about major media outlets such as BBC, ITV and LBC ignoring your campaigns and instead interviewing and organising debates only between candidates from big parties?
MF: I totally agree with them. There are 20 candidates who are running, and four of them are considered the big players who are going to get most of the votes, so I think the big media outlets should be focused on them. It doesn’t mean they should be ignoring other campaigns, and they haven’t. I’ve been featured in every single nominee list, so I don’t really mind.
NK: Finally, do you think that your and Niko Omilana’s attempts to go into politics will start a trend where Internet personalities will try to run for public office?
MF: I don’t think that it will start a trend, because the trend has already happened; look at the US with Donald Trump, look at Ukraine with their President, so I don’t think this is going to kickstart a new trend; it’s already happening.
Flushing Out Fosh – Max Fosh appeared at Laurence Fox’s campaign launch with a car wrapped with the message: “Don’t Believe Everything You See On A Bus.”
Flushing Out Fosh – Max Fosh’s campaign in the 2021 London mayoral election centres around his use of YouTube as a medium to communicate with his clearly vast audience of 18 to 25 year olds.
Nikolay Kalinin reports wannabe Conservative Mayor of London Shaun Bailey has sunk to 84/1 on Oddschecker; he suggests voters back outsiders such as Max Fosh, Count Binface and Niko Omilana as a sign of protest against the ineptitude of mainstream candidates
Shaun Bailey – the man who once promised to give London “a fresh start” – is once again facing a massive decline in support. This is far from surprising given some newly unearthed remarks he has been found to have made.
If you thought this Conservative Mayoral candidate would stop going after women – whether they be pregnant teenagers of female MPs – then you would be seriously wrong as now this misogynist dullard has gone one stage further and decided to go after female domestic abuse victims too.
In a post found on the website of Conservative Women’s Organisation, Bailey claimed: “If you could get girls to accept less of men’s rubbish then men would have to change because ultimately men are after a girl.” In doing so, all he achieved was invoke the idea that it is the fault of women if they find themselves getting abused. I would love to hear him say that to the faces of the thousands of women who were trapped in hostile environments with abusive partners during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Bailey’s campaign spokesperson responded to the criticism, not by saying that he has taken accountability for his statements – or even better that he would be dropping out of the Mayoral election – but by accusing Labour of “taking old comments out of context.” The spokesperson added that they believed his point was that “the only way to end domestic violence is to change the behaviour of men.” This, I’d argue, is a blatant lie.
It should be mentioned that Bailey has a history of speaking before thinking about many matters. In 2017, it was reported that he called the region of North Kensington where he grew up in a “ghetto” – which hugely contrasts with the high house prices in the region, as well as the fact that the very wealthy ex-PM David Cameron is a resident of that very same area.
In the meantime, the mayoral campaigns of YouTuber Max Fosh and Count Binface – both of whom The Steeple Times have endorsed (given there’s little to nothing else on offer) – have been expanding greatly, with Fosh continuing his crusade against blockhead Laurence Fox, calling out his ex-fellow Old Harrovian for failing to debate with him.
Fosh has also created a website where he has written out his election policies. They include a pledge to “put Laurence Fox on the call back list for every acting job in London” and another to build Jurassic parks across the city.
Count Binface has also released a campaign manifesto of his own on Twitter, where he has pledged – amongst many other ingenious things to banish Piers Corbyn to the Phantom Zone, finish Crossrail and get London to go it alone and join the EU.
I would like to encourage readers to vote for Max Fosh as your first preference on 6th May, and Count Binface or Niko Omilana – who has stated he wishes to deport all EDL members to Poland and ban Prince Andrew from going within a 4-mile radius of all London schools as your second preference.
These three people, unbelievable as it may seem, are way more appealing than the three leading clowns Sadiq Khan, Shaun Bailey and Brian Rose, so let’s show them that on 6th May. It’s time to give the Conservatives and Labour especially the kick they well and truly deserve.
Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – Shaun Bailey has been endorsed by the pretty awful Priti Patel. If that’s the best he can do, God help the guy.Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – Even ‘King of Tory Sleaze’ Boris Johnson appears to be distancing himself from Shaun Bailey’s flagging campaign. Frankly, this bombastic bozo might as well give up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-ItPJWU6QQ
Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – ‘The Steeple Times’ urges readers to back independent candidates to send a signal to the mainstream parties that their campaigns in the London Mayoral elections have been dreadful in 2021. Contributor Nikolay Kalinin suggests Niko Omilana as one such option.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcy5V4JwfnA
Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – Max Fosh is the favoured first choice of ‘The Steeple Times.’
Bailey Bombs to 84/1 – We also rather like Count Binface and urge choosing him as your second choice.
Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
Described on his ‘official’ YouTube channel in the comments section by some as “magical” and “one of his greatest hits” in spite of being frankly weird, a seriously strange video of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show is something that could sum up what could soon happen to Carrie Symonds next.
Focused on the lyrics “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” as the contemptible Christian crackpot ‘Cliffy’ croons in the mist outside a café-bar, the continuation with “Carrie used to live on the second floor… Sorry that she left no forwarding address… That was known to me, Carrie” could soon apply to Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama.
Quite deservedly under fire as to failing to explain who really funded payment of the vast £200,000 bill caused by Peter Jones loathing Miss Symonds’ demands for a quite unnecessary makeover of their perfectly habitable Downing Street flat, Boris Johnson – who still faces an ongoing inquiry also into who paid for the December 2019 Mustique holiday nearly 16 months later also – is on the ropes. Like Teflon, he may bat these investigations away, but with his “psychopath” nemesis – as some have branded him – Cummings having “gone rogue,” this time things are beginning to stick.
Of the imaginary ‘Carrie’ in the 1980 song – written by ‘Devil Woman’ songwriter Terry Britten – all-round oddity Sir Cliff told the Mail on Sunday in November 2008:
“It’s a mysterious song because you never really know what it’s about. A guy turns up in the neighborhood asking where Carrie is. The very last line goes: ‘Carrie doesn’t live, doesn’t live…’ You’re left thinking: ‘Is she dead? Has she been murdered?’”
Now, with public outrage turning up the heat in ‘Costly Carrie’s’ Westminster lair, will this ‘Modern Day Lady Macbeth’ puppet mistress ‘survive’ her “date with her own kind of fate”? Some might think that, but we couldn’t possibly comment.
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – The March 1980 screening of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show. Of the song, one fan, Tim Roxborough, cringeworthily declared: “Late 70s/early 80s songs like ‘Dreamin,’ ‘Carrie’ and ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ aren’t just hits, nor are they just catchy pop tunes. Vocally, Cliff is singing much higher and with far greater emotion and elasticity than what he did in the 50s and 60s. If you’re prejudiced, pretend ‘Carrie’ isn’t a Cliff Richard song and its hook, its groove, its paranoid lyrics and its clean production make it a worthy music cousin of Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine.’” We’d argue to the contrary: It’s frankly just creepy.Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds share a penchant for hooch and holidays. Equally, they both share a liking for making things up and being the centre of attention. Examples of such behaviour includes Miss Symonds’ temper tantrum over being called ‘Princess Nut Nut’ by Dominic Cummings and Sir Cliff’s “young man, go f**k yourself” rant after supposedly being “duped” into describing his own wine as “tainted and insipid” by Gordon Ramsay in June 2006.Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – The similarities between Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama and the creepy Christian crooner continue in the design department. Whilst Miss Symonds likes curious colour concoctions that wouldn’t look out of place in the home of Edina Monsoon in the comedy ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ (left), Sir Cliff favours décor decisions that would most definitely appeal to dictators and despots such as Saddam Hussein and Nicolae Ceaușescu (right).
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Both Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds take the attitude of the late, great Ian Richardson in the original (and better) television adaptation of Michael Dobbs’ ‘House of Cards’ and respond to any criticism with his infamous: “You might very well think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.” Perhaps, if Tory sleaze does indeed engulf his administration, puppet mistress Miss Symonds and her hapless hubby-to-be may find themselves forced into taking a very ‘Long Summer Holiday’ soon too.
Whilst only a few newspapers have delved into his political past, we today ask: “Who REALLY is the bestie of Carrie Symonds and alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ Henry Newman?”
In 2019, ‘Carrie Symonds’ bestie’ and supposed clatterfart Henry Newman described Dominic Cummings as “one of only a few political advisers who understands the importance of, and is truly committed to, reforming the Whitehall machine.” In April 2020, Cummings responded by branding Newman a leaker.
Now, as the media delve into the scandal of Boris Johnson’s hole riddled ship and he seeks to dissipate the disgrace of his decorating debacle, with Cummings’ intervention on Friday, elements of the media have begun to examine exactly who Henry Newman is.
Whilst widely referenced for dancing to ABBA with his longstanding chum Symonds and for being the go-to mouthpiece in support of Brexit during Theresa May’s “Brexit means Brexit” era, Newman should also go down in history for banging on about a need for fortnightly bin collections in Hampstead and Kilburn and for his somewhat bizarre Facebook ramblings.
On his wall on the social media site, former special adviser (SPAD) to Francis Maude and Michael Gove, Newman – a graduate of ritzy institutions including the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics – has shared posts about being drunk. He has remarked that he was once “discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie” and bragged that he even listened “to the Stones as the economy [collapsed].”
Tellingly also, this one-time “rising star” and “Goveite” also declared he was “drowning in honey, stingless” and, most appropriately, providing illustration of why Daylesford addict ‘Costly Carrie’ counts him as “one of her four favourite people,” once announced: “[I’m] opening an organic box.”
‘Henry The Bin Boy’Newman’s words of wisdom on Facebook…
“Is drunk.”
“Is opening an organic box.”
“Is discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie.”
“Is drowning in honey, stingless.”
“Once you kill a cow you gotta make a burger.”
“Wondering if he is really a top concern for US immigration.”
“Waiting for Jacqui Smith to resign.”
“Is dancing, dancing, dancing… Is listening to rumba in W. Hartford… Is dancing in the dark… Is missing dancing.”
“Is listening to the Stones while the economy collapses.”
“Is watching his tan fall off.”
“Hates people who don’t know how to use a rowing machine.”
“Is thinking what this country needs is a new taskforce.”
Who is Henry Newman? Facebook posts by him give a clue to his personality.
Descriptions of Henry Newman by…
Boris Johnson:
“One of my three musketeers.”
Carrie Symonds:
“One of my four favourite people.”
Toby Young:
“He is new role model… If you were a [politics show] booker who had to find someone… Newman was the only name on your Rolodex.”
“As the oxygen went out of Theresa May’s premiership, and her withdrawal agreement began to breathe its last, the great balloon of his career became more and more inflated.”
Dominic Cummings:
“All the evidence [regarding the second lockdown leak] definitely leads to Henry Newman… I’m just trying to get the communications data to prove it.”
An unnamed “senior government source”:
“The allegations against Henry Newman are entirely false. He wouldn’t be working in Downing Street if he was suspected of leaking information.”
Who is Henry Newman? A fan of wearing beanie hats that declare: “Let’s get Brexit done,” here is a young man who taught politics at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS), after studying at the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics. He reportedly then “cut his teeth” working in the Cabinet Office during the coalition government years and then joined Michael Gove’s entourage in the Ministry of Justice after he was appointed as the Lord Chancellor in 2015.Who is Henry Newman? Aside from having travelled to Russia in his youth, Newman joined the Vote Leave campaign during the 2016 referendum campaign and, according to ‘The Telegraph’ “was among a close circle of Mr Gove’s friends who were said to have helped to convince him to ‘knife’ Mr Johnson and torpedo his bid for the Tory leadership by deciding to run himself.” Later, a director of the pro-Brexit Open Europe think-tank, Newman was then rewarded for being “loyal” to Carrie Symonds when Boris Johnson came to power.Who is Henry Newman? Let’s not forget that this young man’s best friend Carrie Symonds was previously dating a man, Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), exposed by the BBC in October 2016 for a Russian fake news scandal and for his friendship with Henry Hopwood-Phillips, an individual involved in the far-right, racist Traditional Britain Group. Miss Symonds must be noted also for her having been employed by Oceana, an oceanic charity that Ghislaine Maxwell – the now incarcerated alleged mucky madam to Jeffrey Epstein – was also a tin banger for.
Legal challenge to Boris Johnson’s government’s completely illogical refusal to allow indoor hospitality venues to open whilst allowing indoor retail to open to be decided on this week
In spite of venues with outdoor space being allowed to serve customers on their terraces and in gardens, the hospitality sector in the UK will continue to lose around £200 million per day until the government allows them to serve indoors in mid-May.
This week, following a perfectly sensible legal challenge by Sacha Lord, the night-time economy adviser for Greater Manchester, and Hugh Osmond, the founder of Punch Taverns, the government could be forced to bring forward the date for indoor opening for bars, pubs and restaurants.
Lord and Osmond together quite sensibly argue there is no justification or scientific basis for indoor hospitality to be kept closed for five additional weeks after non-essential retailers in England were allowed to serve customers indoors from 12th April. Their call is correct and the continuation of this illogical set of double standards is doing just one thing: Dealing another body blow to an already devastated sector.
Speaking on Radio 4’s Today programme this morning of their challenge to the crackpot crazy decisions of borderline bonkers’ Boris Johnson’s Tory government, Osmond remarked:
“This is something of a David versus Goliath battle. We are reassured that David won in that instance.”
“At the start of this pandemic there was a totally understandable assumption that hospitality venues might be responsible for the spread of infections. The vision of drunken people in crowded pubs is an easy and obvious target that people understand.”
“The data [now] definitively shows that hospitality was not the major source of infections.”
Elsewhere on Twitter on Friday, Lord remarked: “The government’s defence is just in… They must be concerned, they’ve put their No. 1 legals on the case, Sir James Eadie QC, the First Treasury Counsel.”
Going further this morning, he added: “Thank you for all the good luck messages. It’s not necessarily today, the Judge has said: ‘The week commencing the 19th.’ Again, a real long shot, but as soon as there’s news, I’ll post it here. Enjoy the sun.”
Today, all at The Steeple Times join those supporting the logic of allowing indoor hospitality venues to reopen and reopen now. Let’s get the indoor show back on the road.
Pictured top: Restaurants such as Fifty Cheyne in Chelsea, London have tables that are very clearly separated from one another. As shown in this image, diners can be socially distanced in a manner perfectly reasonable. Why shouldn’t such places – which lack outdoor dining areas and thus cannot even benefit from the currently allowed outdoor opening rules – not be able to get back to business whilst small, cramped shops with little-to-no precautionary measures are allowed to trade?
Hospitality vs. Headbangers – Echoing scenes from December 2020 reported on in ‘The Steeple Times,’ on Sunday the ‘MailOnline’ reported on yet another swarm of maskless, tempestuous teenagers descending on Harrods on Saturday. Sharing the article on Twitter on Monday, Hugh Osmond remarked: “It is surely clear that all-seated, licensed hospitality venues, with table service only, cannot present more of a risk than non-essential retail… Open indoor hospitality now.”Hospitality vs. Headbangers – Giuseppe Turi, who owns Enoteca Turi on Pimlico Road, London, SW1 with his wife Pamela, is currently just serving people on his two outside tables “after loyal customers begged him to reopen,” the ‘Daily Star’ last week reported. Speaking to the ‘Mail on Sunday,’ Mr Turi added: “It doesn’t really make financial sense with just two tables, but our customers are so desperate to come back. We are now fully booked until May 17 when we can open inside. We are very excited to connect with our regulars again, but unfortunately we’ve not been able to accommodate everybody.” The chances of this business making a profit from such activity stand in the area of “zilch-zero-nothing,” but provide proof that it is businesses that are showing initiative and not the illogical, rudderless, incompetent government of Boris Johnson.Hospitality vs. Headbangers – Last October, Richard Caring, owner of many of London’s best-known high-end restaurants, stuck up two dummies of Boris Johnson (in spite of having previously given over £510,000 in donations to the Conservative Party previously). At the time of the lockdown then in place, Caring raged: “Make no mistake, this is a disastrous decision, taken by people who do not understand what terrible damage they are doing to the country.”
