Tag: shooting

A ‘Private Eye’ At Crackpot Crazy Classifieds – 1974 Princess Anne Kidnap Attempt

‘Private Eye’ called out for publishing classified adverts from wacko wannabe “Village Elders” with a penchant for “amusing kids” and an actual crackpot crazy who tried and failed to kidnap Princess Anne in London in 1974

The latest edition of Private Eye contains an especially creepy classified advertisement. A link to it was sent to us by an especially beady eyed reader. It states:

Couple (60s) seek position as Village Elders in a community. Skills include knitting, martial arts, book-keeping, business advice, vegetable growing and amusing the kids. Any location worldwide but must speak English. No remuneration needed. Text 07486 434079 for more details.

Aside from the Jimmy Savile-esque vibes that the throwaway inclusion of “amusing kids” gives off, the fact that two sixty somethings of sex undefined want to move utterly anywhere for utterly no payment seems a little beyond weird. Whilst calls and texts from The Steeple Times to the number for the knitting and martial arts lovers listed were not answered, what’s the betting on these wannabe “Village Elders” being successful in their quest for their wacko wants? We wouldn’t go below 999/1.

The advert posted by the wannabe “Village Elders” that will likely not result in them achieving the placement they desire.

Elsewhere in the same magazine’s classified section is an advert placed by another oddity named Ian Ball. It doesn’t exactly share a great deal of detail, but simply offers:

‘To Kidnap a Princess’ by Ian Ball noveltokidnapaprincess.co.uk

For the majority whom unsurprisingly don’t immediately recognise this somewhat ordinary sounding name, this is the very same Ian Ball who attempted to kidnap Princess Anne on 20^th March 1974 on Pall Mall in London, but who only succeeded in injuring a number of bystanders with a series of shots. Ball failed in his attempt – which was later bizarrely ‘justified’ as a “publicity stunt” and an attempt to raise £2 million from a ransom that he claimed he intended to give to the NHS – and subsequently pleaded guilty to attempted murder and kidnapping. John Hazan QC, defending, claimed his client was “mad” and had been “led by a voice of either his late father or God.”

Top: The attempted kidnapping of Princess Anne in March 1974, as reconstructed in the 2006 ITV drama ‘To Kidnap A Princess’. Bottom: Failed kidnapper Ian Ball snapped arriving for his trial and the Rolls-Royce in which Princess Anne travelled on the night of the attempt to abduct her.

The advert promoting Ian Ball’s book.

Ball – who also goes by the pseudonym ‘Anthony Stewart’ – was subsequently diagnosed with schizophrenia and detained in mental hospitals for 45 years until his release in 2019. In August 2025, he laughably claimed the late Queen Elizabeth II had been the “ringleader” of a plot that led to him being wrongfully jailed and told the Daily Mail: “I’m an innocent, sane man… The whole idea of performing the hoax was to get the publicity so I could write my autobiography and I expected to get £10,000 in royalties.”

Going further, on the website linked to from the online version of the weekly magazine, most certainly beyond bonkers Ball rages whilst promoting his tall tale tome To Kidnap a Princess:

“The author spent 45 years locked up in Rampton and Broadmoor criminal lunatic asylums, after being convicted of the attempted kidnapping of Princess Anne.”

“Throughout his stay in the asylums he was in constant conflict with the psychopathic screws and criminal doctors.”

“The abuse resulting from the conflict was born with a remarkable stoicism and with an astonishing positive attitude. Such resilience was due, mainly, to the author’s efforts in applying his hilariously unique and wry sense of humour to the situation.”

“Although the authorities did everything to try and break his spirit, the author remains unbowed and eventually prevails.”

In light of the highlighting of these two clearly crackpot advertisements, perhaps Private Eye might henceforth implement a better procedure to vet those taking space in their classifieds. Paraphrasing what Princess Anne is said to have exclaimed on being ordered out of her chauffeur driven Rolls-Royce by her wannabe kidnapper Ian Ball that dark night in March 1974, the chances of such are probably to be found in the land of “not bloody likely!”

Follow Matthew Steeples on X at @M_Steeples and The Steeple Times at @SteepleTimes.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel at @mjs2781.

If you haven’t done so already, please support keeping The Steeple Times in the business of telling the stories that the mainstream media don’t dare touch by helping fund our work via Patreon. Even a small donation will help keep us going and will be hugely appreciated.

January 11, 2026
Essex Police – GUILTY As Charged In Jeremy Bamber Case
As Essex Police are found guilty of failing to refer a 2020 complaint by Jeremy Bamber, could his case be sent back to the Court of Appeal?

Essex Police are widely known for bungling investigations. Aside from very clearly bungling the investigation into the rape and murder of Stuart Lubbock at the home of the disgraced ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore, this 3,842-officer strong force has now been exposed for having mishandled complaints in the Jeremy Bamber White House Farm murder case.

With news that the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) has found the force guilty of breaching their statutory duty by not referring 29 serious complaints to them about the case comes proof yet again of disgraceful incompetence at the very least and far worse potentially at the very worst.

Responding on Monday this week from His Majesty’s Prison Wakefield, 62-year-old Bamber told the Daily Gazette and Essex County Standard’s trainee reporter Daniel Rees:

“I think the report is strong enough to assist the Criminal Case Review Commission (CCRC) to get my case sent back to the Court of Appeal, I am hoping in the next six to eight weeks.”

“Essex Police has failed in its statutory duty in not investigating these complaints and not sending this matter to the Independent Office for Police Conduct.”

“These are serious complaints. I have sent this complaint to Essex Police, the Attorney General, the Home Office, the CPS but everyone has blanked me and has done nothing. I never expected the IOPC to come out so strongly and say Essex Police failed in their statutory duty.”

“They have dismissed me so many times. It has been 38 years but this is the endgame – I genuinely believe that.”

Going further, in comments shared in the Mirror this morning, Bamber added:

“I firmly expect that the freedom that was so unjustly taken from me will soon be restored.”

“After 36 years it can now be proven with absolute certainty I did not burn my dad with the rifle barrel or the rifle’s sound moderator, as my trial jury were misled into believing.”

Unsurprisingly asked for a response, “Essex Police declined to comment on the matter.” Shame on them for yet again trying to sweep this serious matter under the carpet. May Jeremy Bamber – a man who has never waivered in stating his claim that he is innocent of the 1985 slayings of his adoptive parents, his adoptive sister and her two sons at their familial home at White House Farm in Tolleshunt D’Arcy, Essex – now finally get the review of his case that he truly deserves.

Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

To learn more about the case, click here to view the official Jeremy Bamber Innocence Campaign website.

As the Independent Office for Police Conduct is found guilty of failing to refer 29 serious complaints about the Jeremy Bamber case, will he be cleared and freed? #JeremyBamber #EssexPolice #police #crime #truecrime #justice #injustice #endgame
— Matthew Steeples (@M_Steeples) May 17, 2023

This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “As the Independent Office for Police Conduct is found guilty of failing to refer 29 serious complaints about the Jeremy Bamber case, will he be cleared and freed?” By 11:30am on Wednesday 17^th May, the majority of respondents favoured the answer: “Yes; about time too.”

Some questions Essex Police plainly need to answer regarding this case… Including some new ones that could lead to to the exoneration of jailed for 36 years and still protesting his innocence Jeremy Bamber
- What happened to a suicide note allegedly left by Sheila Caffell that was initially referenced by police and then disappeared?
- Why did Sheila Caffell not have rigor mortis when officers discovered her body?
- Why was blood still gaping from Miss Caffell’s body when it was found?
- Why was the bible found by the body of Miss Caffell not used in evidence and why was that bible destroyed by police also?
- Why are there different accounts about how many bodies were discovered on the ground floor of the farmhouse?
- How could Jeremy Bamber be the killer if police officers repeatedly detected movement inside White House Farmhouse whilst he was stood with them outside?
- Why was the silencer supposedly used in the shootings not discovered immediately when police entered the residence?
- Why did scratch marks supposedly made in the kitchen of the house by that silencer not appear in the first photographs taken at the crime scene? How were they actually made in order that they appeared in later imagery?
- How could Jeremy Bamber be the killer if he made a phone call from his Goldhanger home 3.5 miles away moments after his father had called police from White House Farmhouse to say that his daughter had “gone berserk” with a gun?
- Why did Essex Police hide hundreds of thousands of pages of key documentation including police logs and crime scene photographs from being shared during both the 1986 trial and the 2002 appeal?
- Could the AGA be responsible for the burn marks on Nevill Bamber and if so, why did Essex Police move bodies at the crime scene?
- Why did Essex Police so push the narrative of Jeremy Bamber’s former lover and known thief Julie Mugford given they knew shew had been sold her story for £25,000 to the now defunct News of the World with the payment to be received only if he was convicted?
- Why did Essex Police not investigate why other relatives supported the narrative of Jeremy Bamber as killer given those very relatives only benefitted financially based on Jeremy Bamber’s ultimate conviction?
The scene of the murders during the night of 6th and 7th August 1985: White House Farm, Pages Lane, Tolleshunt D’Arcy, Maldon, Essex, CM9 8AA.

Jeremy Bamber’s adoptive parents, Ralph and June Bamber, and the grave where they are buried. Could he finally be exonerated of their killings in 2023?

In November 2022, Phillip Boyce – who has worked on high profile investigations as a forensic scientist for over 30 years –claimed that Essex Police could have “changed the evidence” in the case by moving the body of Nevill Bamber before official photographs of the scene were taken. If true, the three burn marks on Mr Bamber’s back would not have been inflicted by the hot end of a rifle but instead by his dead body being left lying against the AGA and its hot handles instead causing the burns. In photographs taken by police, shown to the trial jury at Chelmsford Crown Court in 1986, Nevill Bamber was instead seen slumped over an overturned chair in the kitchen.

One of the bedrooms at the farm; a truly horrific scene that will go down in history as a murder most horrid. If it is proven that Jeremy Bamber was NOT the killer, this case will also go down in history as one of Britain’s worst miscarriages of justice.

On 24th November 2022, the new True Crime Newsquest mini-series ‘White House Farm murders – Is Jeremy Bamber Innocent?’ featured in an article by Jody Doherty-Cove. In it, Tom Dalby, a reporter on the Colchester Gazette and Essex County Standard, is quoted to say: “The support Bamber gets in prison – in 2017 he told us he [got] about 100 letters per week from supporters, 500 Christmas cards. There is this level of support he still gets from people locally… There are people who are very clear he is innocent.” In the programme also, former detective Mark Williams-Thomas quotes Essex Police Acting Chief Detective Michael Ainsley as having written in 1985: “On my return from annual leave, I obviously enquired as to the situation with the murders… [I was assured] the evidence indicated that Sheila [Caffell] was responsible.”

In April 2020, ‘The Steeple Times’ reported that “further questions about the conduct of Essex Police [were] raised as it [was] revealed they destroyed the bible, nightclothes and pillows that were found with the victims at White House Farm on the night of the 1985 murders. The 20th March 2000 letter from the Criminal Cases Review Commission to Glaisyers Solicitors LLP and Sheila Caffell is truly a shocking example of a bungling balls-up.

The clearly left open bible next to the body of Sheila Caffell was photographed by Essex Police, but was then not submitted as evidence and destroyed. A supposed suicide note also disappeared and countless other evidence was clearly tampered with. “What motivation did those processing the scene have to do this?” is a question that Essex Police and prosecutors have repeatedly failed to answer.

Veteran human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell, a longtime supporter of Jeremy Bamber, tweeted about the case on 7th March 2021. He remarked: “Is this [the] greatest miscarriage of justice?” and previously in 2017, he wrote to the then chief constable of Essex Police, Stephen Kavanagh, to highlight the “grave injustice” of the force’s withholding and destroying evidence with regard to the White House Farm murders.

Jeremy Bamber’s legal team have alleged that the senior investigating officer in the case, Michael Ainsley, took documents relating to the case to his home in 2010 and destroyed them in spite of “knowing there was an active appeal underway.” Surely, now, it is time for a reinvestigation of this case at the very least if faith in the British justice system is to be retained.
May 17, 2023
Deviant Robert Durst Defeats Justice In Death

That billionaire murderer Robert Durst effectively becomes an innocent man in death is utterly outrageous; that he has defeated justice is ludicrous and the key question now is: “Who gets his fortune?”

The beyond bonkers billionaire Robert Durst – who outrageously was allowed to die in a hospital rather than prison yesterday – was undoubtedly a serial killer. How many people he killed will forever now remain likely unknown, but without doubt this megalomaniac 78-year-old slayed not only his best friend Susan Berman in Los Angeles, California in December 2000 but also his neighbour Morris Black in Galveston, Texas in October 2001.

Deviant Durst, whose wife, Kathie, disappeared without trace in January 1982, will not be missed by anyone – not even his relatives; they came to a settlement with him in 2006 in which they bunged him £46 million ($65 million, €53 million or درهم239 million) as part of a likely since unfulfilled hope that he’d disappear and shut his almighty gob – amazingly now ‘technically’ will be in death an innocent man.

Speaking to The Guardian this morning, a former federal prosecutor with no involvement in the case, Neama Rahmani, commented:

“As the law is right now, Durst’s conviction will be vacated and it’s like it never happened. This is such a unique case. It’s really unprecedented that someone can be involved in three different murders in three states and escape justice.”

Going further of this crackpot crazy crossdresser, Westchester county district attorney Mimi Rocah added:

“After 40 years spent seeking justice for her death, I know how upsetting this news must be for Kathleen Durst’s family. We had hoped to allow them the opportunity to see Mr Durst finally face charges for Kathleen’s murder because we know that all families never stop wanting closure, justice and accountability.”

Expressing sympathy for the victims, John Lewin, the LA county deputy district attorney who prosecuted Durst for Berman’s murder concluded:

“It’s a shame when anybody loses their life, however, it’s important to keep in mind that Bob Durst lived to be 78 years old, decades longer than two of his victims. To the end he was hostile, unrepentant, and unremorseful. My thoughts and sympathies lie with his victims.”

Now, however, a new legal battle will likely ensue between this murdering monster’s ‘wife’ since 2000, Debrah Lee Charatan and his birth family. There are hundreds of millions at play and no doubt that’s the only battle we’ll now sadly actually see come to play in court.

Pictured top – Robert Durst with his ‘disappeared’ since 1982 first wife Kathie McCormack. He was ‘technically’ married to her until 1990.

The now forevermore only “suspected” serial killer came to wider public attention after ‘The Jinx’ went viral. During filming of the documentary, he declared to camera: “There it is. You’re caught! …. You’re right, of course. But you can’t imagine. … Arrest him … I don’t know what’s in the house … Oh, I want this … What a disaster … He was right. I was wrong. And the burping … I’m having difficulty with the question … What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course.” He subsequently chillingly added: “I did not tell the whole truth, nobody tells the whole truth.”

Robert and Kathie Durst on their wedding day with one of their dogs. In total, during their marriage, the couple supposedly had seven dogs. All of them were named Igor and of them, in a “rare interview with the ‘New York Times’ in January 2015, Douglas Durst, the head of the family’s real estate empire, shared that his oddball brother had practiced “killing and disposing his wife” using the dogs. He declared: “Before the disappearance of my sister-in-law, Bob had a series of Alaskan Malamutes, which is like a husky. He had seven of them, and they all died, mysteriously, of different things, within six months of his owning them. All of them named Igor. We don’t know how they died, and what happened to their bodies. In retrospect, I now believe he was practicing killing and disposing his wife with those dogs.”

This seriously sinister got away with killing Morris Black based on claiming self-defense in spite of dismembering his body. He was convicted of killing his friend Susan Berman in September 2021, but with his death this will now be voided thanks to a legal technicality as his case was under appeal. Sadly, this psycho will now never face trial for the death of his first wife, Kathie, and though he was potentially also linked to the disappearances of Lynne Schulze from Middlebury, Vermont in 1971 and Karen Mitchell from Eureka, California and Kristen Modafferi, who was last seen in San Francisco in 1997, he’ll never face justice for what he likely did to them either.

The serial killer’s younger brother, Douglas, commented of his sibling in March 2015: “We hope he will finally be held accountable for all he has done.” Sadly, this monster’s death has ended the possibility of that.

In mid-2002, Robert Durst signed over a power of attorney to Debrah Lee Charatan (pictured top with her “late” husband Steve Holm and lower right with her now deceased replacement for him). In 2006, he gave her around £14 million ($20 million, €16 million or درهم73 million) and to this date she continues to plug her trade online at BCBprop.com.

January 11, 2022
Saving Ibex; Stopping Switlyk

As the ‘Guardian’ report on trophy hunters flocking to Sudan to shoot rare ibex, we remind the public to support our petition to put a stop to mentally unhinged ibex slaughterer Larysa Switlyk

This morning, the Guardian reported that “conservationists fear for endangered Nubian ibex in Sudan as westerners [are] sold permits to hunt” them.

In an article in the paper’s ‘Global Development’ section – which is supported by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation – Kaamil Ahmed remarked:

“Sudanese conservationists have accused trophy hunters of exploiting the country’s political transition to hunt the country’s unprotected rare animals.”

“Photographs posted online of westerners posing with the body of a rare Nubian ibex angered Sudanese wildlife campaigners this week. They called for Facebook to remove the pages of tour groups promoting such hunts.”

“While wildlife hunters have long come from the Gulf, Abubakr Mohammad, a biodiversity researcher, has seen a recent trend for western trophy hunters to come too, which he said could be a result of the country being more open to outsiders since the removal of Omar al-Bashir, the former president. Permits for hunting are being given out without sufficient scrutiny, says campaigners.”

Elsewhere, our Change.org petition against Larysa Switlyk, a marauding monster with a penchant for killing rare ibex in Krygyzstan, Spain and Turkey, is fast approaching 20,000 signatures. Equally, our second against giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe will soon be at 45,000.

If you have not signed, please take a moment to do so and if you have, yet again we kindly request that you share as widely as possible. These reprehensible individuals truly must be stopped.

Pictured top: Larysa Switlyk and an associate posing smugly with an ibex she massacred.

Join the nigh on 44,200 people who have signed our Change.org petition seeking to get giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe banned from Facebook by clicking here.

Join the nigh on 19,500 people who have signed our Change.org petition seeking to get Ibex massacring Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram by clicking here.

Larysa Switlyk’s delight at killing rare ibex is clear in these photographs. In reality, the snaps simply illustrate a woman who truly belongs in Bedlam.

After murdering a Bezoar ibex in November 2018, wicked wastrel Switlyk took to Twitter to boast about her “dream” coming true. Whilst most would consider this a “nightmare,” 386 fellow psychos pressed ‘like’ on this morally reprehensible tweet.

Last week, Larysa Switlyk took a break from slaying rare ibex and announced on Instagram that “the new hunting trend in Florida” is slaughtering “invasive” iguana. She claimed: “They are also tasty to eat and one can use their skins to make leather goods out of.” She justified herself by arguing: “Iguanas cause damage to the infrastructure of sidewalks.” It’d be interesting to know if she’d also support, perhaps, say, shooting pests on motorised scooters on pavements on the same basis.

In this gruesome 4:04-minute video shared by Donald Trump Jr.’s bestie Larysa Switlyk on YouTube in July 2019, the lover of shoving sex toys up the bums of dead sheep shot a Bezoar ibex and then posed with bits of it. She claimed: “Lots of conservation efforts and government regulations go into managing these ibex,” but neglected to mention that for each one shot, the species moves closer to being wiped out.

In another video, wholeheartedly evil Switlyk declared: “Discover what dreams are made of” in a video about slaying mid Asian ibex in Krygyzstan. In the twisted footage, her first shot failed to kill one unfortunate animal and then after letting it suffer for some time, she childishly giggled over her “awesome” massacre whilst stroking the blood covered beard of her unfortunate victim.

March 23, 2021
Merelize The Monster

As our petition seeking Facebook banish Merelize van der Merwe tops 25,000 signatures in less than a week, this giraffe slaying monster sickly shares a video of her kill on YouTube

After we featured the story of a monster whose husband bought her the ‘opportunity’ to slaughter a harmless giraffe on Sunday and began a Change.org petition seeking to ban Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook, it went viral.

Today, in spite of the Mirror, Unilad and The Sun featuring our petition against the citrus farming freak, van der Merwe audaciously announced: “I created work for 11 people that day… And a lot of meat for the locals.”

Worse still, ignoring international outrage about what she so callously did, in a 1:34-minute video that YouTube has disgracefully allowed to remain live, van der Merwe has shared footage of herself killing the giraffe “on a private farm in Smartwater, Limpopo.” She accompanied it with a tune by Johnny Clegg titled Scatterlings of Africa and the following captions:

“Shot with a 30-06. Perfect frontal neck shot!”

“The second rifle was a .450 Rigby. Was awesome to do my coup de grace, even if it wasn’t necessary!”

“Thank you to my wonderful husband and my PH Chrisjan Bakker!”

Today, we urge all readers who haven’t signed already to join the 25,000 who’ve already signed our Change.org petition seeking to get Merelize van der Merwe banned from sharing imagery of her grossly offensive ‘activities’ on Facebook. Do so by clicking here and please also share widely. This monster must be stopped.

Pictured top: Bleached blonde bimbo Merelize van der Merwe in an image where she “showed-off” her tacky tattoo and also a video clip of herself taking a second shot at the innocent giraffe she massacred online also.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=5EhqeZ0vYJ4&fbclid=IwAR3_j1OyqXZVM_O8Z37lo5JnUhCjPUx4KKxBuaquMP4OA9F9I-qzDdP8FYg#menu
Merleize The Monster – The video of Merelize van der Merwe massacring a harmless giraffe is quite beyond sickening. We advise viewer caution.

Merleize The Monster – Merelize van der Merwe reacted to our petition and articles about her by smugly posing with a can of ‘Lite’ beer. She arrogantly accompanied it with the caption: “While I make headlines across the globe, thought I’ll take a second to have a beer and enjoy our game farm. I hope that I can at least claim some profit from all the Kleenex used this week for all the emotionally unstable people out there.”

Merleize The Monster – In another image posted on her Facebook page, this clinically crackers cretin shared an image of an elephant that had been shot with a dart. How can Facebook and their seven-figure salaried ex-leader of the Liberal Democrats vice president of global affairs Nick Clegg consider this acceptable?

February 26, 2021
A Brolly Wally

“Britain’s most troublesome brolly” goes to auction on eBay after its wally owner nearly gets shot by armed police whilst carrying it

Whilst a chimney pot filled with a collection of umbrellas owned by the late Dowager Duchess of Devonshire we featured in February 2016 sold for the staggering sum of £4,375 at Sotheby’s due to its provenance, an Exeter man featured in DevonLive today is unsurprisingly not going to find his brolly selling for nearly as much after it nearly got him shot.

According to the paper’s plainly short of a real news story Chloe Parkman, “brolly wally” Mike Devlin was “swarmed by armed police five times while carrying his beloved novelty umbrella [with a samurai sword handle and a shoulder strap]” and now “has taken to eBay to get rid of it – on the orders of his other half.”

Speaking of the brolly, Devlin declared:

“You kind of get used to people pointing guns at you after a while. I lived in USA and have been to guns stores and in Germany where all cops have guns as well. But, in the UK, they seem obsessed by my umbrella.”

“I can vouch for it – it is a really strong umbrella and never breaks – but it is not a deadly weapon.” I just find the whole thing quite amusing. People accuse me of being an attention seeker, which is ridiculous. I have never called the police.”

“In all the years I was in Germany I never had a problem. The first issue I had was when I came to England and stepped off a plane and security pulled me over and wanted to know where I got it from.”

“I often get stopped by members of the public, and there have been five instances now where armed police have stopped me. On previous occasions when they discover it is just an umbrella they laugh it off. But it then culminated in them confiscating it.”

Referencing a recent incident when they pointed guns at Devlin, Devon and Cornwall Police remarked:

“We received a report of someone in possession of what looked like a samurai sword. It turns out it wasn’t a samurai sword, it was an umbrella made to look like a samurai sword. It looked realistic, to the armed officers as well.”

Now listed on eBay in an online auction that concludes in 3 days, Devlin’s description of the ‘offending’ brolly reads:

“I love this umbrella, had it for ages, but sadly I need to get rid of it. Why? Well, that’s an interesting one.”

“My other half doesn’t want me to get shot by the police. Y’see, couple of weeks ago, I had 4 assault rifles pointed at me, and surrounded by 8 police officers as I made my way home. This was the 5^th time I have ran into armed officers (or should I say they have come running to me, including back-up units, and sending helicopters out), and whilst I have always found it highly amusing, she is, however, not overly enthused by it. I know, right! But what can I do?”

“So, here I am offering this immaculate umbrella that undoubtedly has caused more trouble in the UK than any other umbrella in British history. The winner will (reluctantly)receive the umbrella, and the police return sheet – they took it off me the last time, only for an armed officer to return it to me a few days ago.”

“The media is watching this listing (that image is from ‘The Times’), so you may even be contacted by a reporter should you win.”

“What will I spend the money on? Dunno, really – maybe a couple of drinks to drown my sorrows. Ugh, I need a drink now…”

Whilst 33 bids have been made for the brolly with a current price of £103.50, a brand-new version of exactly the same umbrella can be bought elsewhere on the site for just £24.99. Perhaps someone might care to ‘rain-in’ the 33 wallies before they take a bath.

A Brolly Wally – The very same umbrella that Mike Devlin has cleverly PR’d in ‘Devon Live’ and ‘The Times’ supposedly even can be had brand-new for just £24.99 (if you desire to walk around risking a police incident).

A Brolly Wally – On the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ there was much discussion of the saga. One member, Steven Phillips, suggested: “He needs to get a less ambiguous brolly” and included a picture of an umbrella disguised as a gun.

February 24, 2021
Hippo Harridan 2021 – Larysa Switlyk

Not content with butchering bears, barbarian bitch Larysa Switlyk has headed to Africa to harm hippos; this harridan must be stopped and banned from bragging about such on Instagram also

After slaughtering a hippopotamus in Zambia in recent days, Larysa Switlyk took to Instagram to share an image of herself with the poor, deceased creature. Of it, she declared: “Here’s a closer look at the hippo’s tusks! I’m extremely blessed to live the life I live, but it definitely doesn’t come without hard work!”

Quite what “hard work” is involved in deciding to take the life of a majestic mostly herbivorous mammal will puzzle anyone with half a brain, but, in the case of the shover-of-sex-toys-up-the-bums-of-dead-sheep Switlyk, even Einstein would struggle to piece together her complete lack of logic. Here is someone who kills for the pleasure of taking home a trophy and a snap for her Instagram followers and utterly nothing else.

Whilst her deranged followers congratulated her and discussed how they were “curious” to eat hippo meat, self-declared “I’m not pretending I’m not a trophy hunter, but trophy hunting is good” Switlyk confirmed the slaughtered beast to be “good table fare.” She also reported she “had to get a tractor” to “drag” the poor beast out of the water.

Going further, this sadistic slayer of bears justified her latest barbaric actions by bragging: “I shot a hippo and fed a village… All the people were extremely appreciative and celebrated my successful hippo hunt.” She then had a pop at her critics and remarked:

“Maybe for 2021, I can post photos without an explanation and people will become nicer on social media…. What you think? If you don’t like what I post on my page, please don’t follow me. I won’t miss you.”

Instead, we say: “This year, this wicked woman must be stopped. She glorifies slaughter-for-slaughter’s-sake and that that she considers shoving sex toys into dead animals acceptable sums her up as a monster. Instagram should not allow her to continue to share her vile and utterly offensive posts and now they’ve banned Donald Trump, it’s finally time to rid a social media site used by both adults and children of his philistine supporter Larysa Switlyk too.”

If you haven’t already, please sign our Change.org petition to get blue-ticked bitch Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram by clicking here. It has attracted over 14,000 signatures to date and it is now time that this social media giant took action.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Switylk posed with the local populous after her “kill” and remarkably claimed they were grateful to her for slaughtering the hippo.

In other posts, Larysa Switlyk posed next to elephants and mourned the passing of a ‘professional’ elephant hunter named Phillip Smythe. She will no doubt be attempting to slaughter one of these majestic creatures next and we join all saying: “Shame on this disgusting monster!”

LEFT – Previously, Donald Trump Jr. pictured posing with an elephant he massacred; RIGHT – Larysa Switlyk socialising Donald Trump’s twisted elephant slaying son, Donald Jr., and his gobby girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle.

Hippo Harridan – Larysa Swyitlk has previously been deservedly slammed for shooting sheep in Norfolk, England and then posing disrespectfully shoving sex toys into their carcasses; she has unsurprisingly also angered many worldwide by killing brown bears in America.

Hippo Harridan – On another ‘jaunt’ in September 2018, wicked wench Switlyk went to Scotland to shoot wild goats. She was reported to prosecutors over alleged gun offences, but astoundingly got off scot-free. At the time, Scottish Brexit secretary Mike Russell remarked of her Instagram posts showing her victims: “They’re horrific,” yet the social media giant has allowed these vile images to remain.

In May 2014, a man died in Embu after eating hippo meat. If Larysa Switlyk met the same fate given her actions, it would serve her right.

January 8, 2021
Bear Slaying Barbarian Tries Going Global

Larysa Switlyk’s attempt to go global with a new website sharing imagery of her slaying bears and zebras is proof that this woman is nothing but an international menace and monster

Zebra and black bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk has a new website titled ‘Unleashed Global Adventures.’ On it she fails to spell “copyright” correctly (she misspells it “copywrite”), but that’s by far the best thing about this promotion of what she shamelessly states to be: “It’s a way of life pursuit network.”

On the site, sheep slaughtering sex-toy-up-the-bum-shover Switlyk proudly boasts of her “vast hunting resume” and her ability to help those who pay her take their “trophies home.” This prized cow sickly subsequently refers to what she curiously calls a “travel hunt” as “an investment” and even offers her “content creation services” and “social media management” of such as if she was selling children’s toys.

“Ladies hunting retreats” also feature on ‘Unleashed Global Adventures’ website and in a 2:53-minute video promoting such, Switlyk appears alongside a number of fellow female fleabags. The monsters are seen high fiving after slaughtering animals for nothing but depraved amusement and plainly have no respect for their innocent targets.

Elsewhere, our Change.org petition to get the “blue ticked bitch” Larysa Switlyk and her foul images banned from Instagram is continuing to attract much interest. It recently featured amongst their “most popular” petitions and many signing have left comments also.

Please join the 13,500 people who’ve already signed the petition by clicking here and please share it as widely as possible on social media. It’s continued growth will no doubt delight Switlyk no end and in the end, Instagram will have to listen.

Pictured top: Larysa Switlyk’s new ‘Unleashed Global Adventures’ website even includes an image of this vile vixen with a zebra she shot.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Bear Slaying Barbarian Tries Going Global – Sick Switlyk features extensively on the website posing “proudly” with her victims. Her delight in blood and dead bears is frankly indicative that she is nothing but a monster.

Bear Slaying Barbarian Tries Going Global – On her Instagram page @larysaunleased this twisted twerp’s latest posts feature her with weapons that are meant for war zones. That she thinks these appropriate for killing deer and sheep is proof that she is mentally unhinged.

December 19, 2020
Spying a Watch

1950s Cold War espionage device disguised as a watch to be auctioned for a surprisingly low sum; someone could end up spying a bargain and something akin to what Jack Ruby even once owned

FBI informant and ‘assassin’s assassin’ Jack Ruby – the man whom fatally shot Lee Harvey Oswald, the alleged assassin of John F. Kennedy in November 1963 – supposedly owned a Protona microphone wrist watch, but these German devices were primarily used in Europe during the Cold War by police and intelligence organisations.

Now, an opportunity to buy a Protona in an online auction has arisen for what seems a surprisingly low price. The item concerned appears to the eye as a 40mm chronograph stainless steel wrist watch, but it also has an insert where a wire can be attached and hidden under the sleeve of the clothing of the person wearing it. That wire would then connect to a portable recording device concealed over their shoulder that could pick up audio for upto one hour.

Remarking of the quirky item her firm is set to sell, Laura Bishop, watch manager at Fellows auction house, commented:

“This is the perfect opportunity to own a fascinating piece of espionage and an intriguing watch combined. I can only imagine some of the conversations that this device might have recorded. We have been unable to gain access to the movement of the watch to find out its exact condition, however the dial is intact with no visible marks. History and watch enthusiasts alike won’t want to miss this one. I’m sure it will fly above its estimate.”

Fellows have set an estimate of £140 to £200 ($187 to $267, €157 to €224 or درهم687 to درهم982) and will sell it online on 8^th December whilst elsewhere on eBay, another example is for sale along with a case full of extras for a far more punchy £897.50 ($1,199, €1,007 or درهم4,406).

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

The watch to be sold on someone’s wrist.

The watch has a brown leather strap and a gold plated pin buckle.

Items associated with espionage and those linked to JFK’s assassination sell for ludicrous sums. In June 2013, we featured the sale of two pieces of bloodstained leather from the back from the back seat of the Lincoln Continental in which President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. They sold for £9,785 ($13,045, €10,963 or درهم47,908) whilst in the same year Lee Harvey Oswald’s widow sold his wedding ring for £68,000 ($90,600, €76,200 or درهم332,900).

In January 2015, we featured an Aston Martin DB10 used in the film ‘Spectre’ that was sold at auction by Christie’s for the staggering sum of £2.785 million ($3.711 million, €3.118 million or درهم13.629 million). A fan of the ultimate spy James Bond plainly truly fell under the spell as the car was simply just an undriveable show item.

November 25, 2020
Ban The Bear Slayer – 10,000 Signatures on Petition Against Larysa Switlyk

As our petition to ban bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk from Instagram soars past 10,000 signatures, it is time the social media outlet paid attention

In September, The Steeple Times launched a petition seeking to persuade Instagram to ban the bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk from their medium.

Not only have Instagram done nothing about stopping this evil woman – whom also has shoved sex toys up the bums of sheep and shot endangered animals and alligators and peacocks even – in the time since, but they have also continued to allow her to have verification in the form of their supposedly sought after ‘blue tick.’

Reprehensible Switlyk, however, has now been proven to be one of the most deservedly detested people on the planet. Today, with over 10,000 signatures to our petition, we again demand that Instagram do the decent thing and ban Donald Trump Jr.’s bestie from their site.

If you haven’t already, please sign the Change.org petition to get Larysa Switlyk sent to social media Siberia by clicking here.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Ban The Bear Slayer – Larysa Switlyk has continued to post images in which she promotes items she is plainly paid to hawk and others in which she shares imagery of slaughtered endangered species in the months since our Change.org petition against her commenced. Today, we again say: Shame on Instagram for not banning this wicked wench.

November 21, 2020