Caitlin Moran sums up the Duke of York perfectly in mocking the deviant royal’s creepiness
There’s awkward and then there’s Prince Andrew and then there’s awful and there’s Prince Andrew.
On Friday, witty journalist Caitlin Moran continued the barrage of mockery of this ghastly buffoon in The Times. She referenced how there no longer any “non-creepy” stories about this repugnant royal and cited stories about how the alleged non-sweating, Pizza Express (Woking branch) fanatic took alleged potential sexual conquests to Buckingham Palace. He supposedly told them to sit “on the Queen’s throne and pretend to be her and onto the famous balcony to wave to “imaginary crowds.”
Continuing about these “what-abouts,” Moran concluded: “I know now the thing I would least like to see: Prince Andrew licking a stamp.” Spot on.
Pictured top: Prince Andrew and his equally ghastly ex-wife, Sarah, Duchess of York.
That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached
‘Randy Andy’ has never been considered capable of carefulness in his choice of company, but in opting to have one of the stingiest billionaires on the planet round for a spot of dinner (and a “few high-spirited games” afterwards according to The Sun) shows this alleged groper’s demise is nearly complete.
This morning, the paper reported the Duke of York and his family had the poisonous dwarf Bernie Ecclestone round to his Royal Lodge, Windsor home last Wednesday to celebrate his birthday. That they couldn’t get a better quality of guest given the scandals they’re engulfed in is not surprising, but one is only left asking: “What did this reprehensible bunch consume?”
Given tax careful Bernard – a man with qualities that would make Leona Helmsley look generous – is renowned for his meanness with money, most likely he brought with him the cheapest margherita from the Woking branch of Pizza Express. Undoubtedly nobody sweated either and one can likely predict that ‘The Coffin Dodger’ opted to take the takeaway cardboard box home with him for re-use later.
Prince Andrew is plainly a man who’ll hang out with anyone – as long as they are rich and/or powerful. He had no qualms in staying with the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein after he got out of jail.He’s spent time with the alleged procurer of underage girls Ghislaine Maxwell as recently as last summer.He’s a friend of Donald and Melania Trump. The President is well-known for tax evasion and many other nefarious activities.He and his wife spent time holidaying at the expense of the alleged paedophile Peter Nygard.The Duke and Duchess of York also associated with the convicted paedophile Stuart Hall. Shame on the pair of them.
As a shop selling “bringing back the royalty of [Arabia] home” opens in Knightsbridge, we ask: “Whatever next?”
Beauchamp Place, Knightsbridge used to be the street where you’d find Bill Bentley’s and a pub owned by some Rolls-Royce driving gangsters who (probably falsely) claimed they owned Marble Arch. Both are long gone, but now, this month, there is a new addition to this once tony street: A shop named ‘Tessal London.’
Selling “fashion from Arabic tradition and modern wear into the streets of London,” this self-proclaimed “royal culture of elegance” retailer has taken over a space once occupied by a traditional tailor and is now, frankly, hawking overpriced tat.
On its website, the arrogant proprietors pompously talk of how they have a specialist department for “superior customers.” We respond: “Who do you bloody think you are? Hyacinth Bucket?” The pinnacle of vulgarity has landed in Knightsbridge. May it very soon flop as this is one shop no genuine local will either ever enter or miss.
Cousin of Prince Andrew speaks with the FBI about alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s involvement in the Jeffrey Epstein case
The Duke of York’s very own cousin has called the FBI about what she knows about the Epstein case according to Sebastian Shakespeare in the Daily Mail this morning.
Speaking to the columnist, Christina Oxenberg, the daughter of Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia, remarked:
“Anything I can do, I want to do because I’m so disgusted by what has happened.”
“Nothing will heal the trauma. These women are affected for their whole lives, but at the very least they should have money.”
“[Ghislaine Maxwell] definitely has millions… She wanted to marry [Jeffrey Epstein]. She didn’t, but she got a lot of money. Cash and assets. All blood money.”
Of Maxwell herself, Oxenberg spoke of a conversation between them in 1997. She stated:
“Never forget it. We were alone. She said many things. All creepy. Unorthodox. Strange. I could not believe whatever she was saying was real. Stuff like: ‘Jeffrey and I have everyone on videotape!’”
Detectives supposedly want to do a follow-up and thus plainly now, Prince Andrew most likely won’t be calling Oxenberg anytime soon.
Since she cannot be physically found, alleged madam and daughter of ‘Bouncing Bob’ Ghislaine Maxwell has now been served by email
As lawyers for Annie Farmer, a woman who accuses Jeffrey Epstein of sexual assault, have been unable to physically locate Ghislaine Maxwell, they have now managed to persuade a judge to allow them to serve the alleged procurer of girls by email.
Last week according to the New York Post, in a most unusual step, Judge Debra Freeman acknowledged that Farmer has “adequately demonstrated that personal service would be impractical” and now Maxwell has been given until 6th March to respond. If she does not, a default judgment will be placed against her.
At least one other civil suit also looms for Maxwell in a federal court in Manhattan, but once again we join those asking: “Where is this murky madam?” It is indeed time that this rat came out of her hole and it is time Prince Andrew also travelled to America to answer some questions also.
Fat cat banker and Barclays CEO Jes Staley under investigation over his links to the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein
This morning, Barclays has been forced to reveal that its controversial CEO Jes Staley is being investigated over his links to the now (allegedly) dead paedophile and late friend of Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein.
In a statement, the firm announced that the Financial Conduct Authority and the regulatory watchdog Prudential Regulation Authority are looking into “Mr. Staley’s characterisation to the company of his relationship with Mr. Epstein, and the subsequent description of that relationship, in the company’s response to the FCA.”
They claimed their board retains “full confidence” in Staley – a man once described as “like Teflon” by Neil Wilson of Markets.com – because he has been “sufficiently transparent with the company as regards the nature and extent and relationship with Mr Epstein.”
In a call with reporters about the matter, according to CityA.M., Staley himself added: “I feel very comfortable… that I have been very transparent and open with the bank about the relationship. With hindsight, I deeply regret having had any relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.”
In 2018, after Staley tried to unmask a whistleblower at the bank in 2016, the firm was slapped with a fine of £600,000 ($779,000, €716,000 or درهم2.8 million) and of this Wilson today remarked: “Coming after the whistleblowing fine, it’s looking like the cat may be running out of lives, I wonder if he can survive this.”
Elsewhere on social media, one user asked of Staley: “Is this someone you’d trust even with a bus ticket?”
‘The Times’ allows a most curious notice to appear on its ‘Register’ page; Could it have been cryptically penned by Ghislaine Maxwell to Prince Andrew?
The ‘Register’ page of The Times is a place where families announce forthcoming marriages and share news of deaths, funerals and memorials as well. Royal court circulars also get a look-in, as do law reports and alongside details on the engagement of The Hon. F. J. St Aubyn (‘Felix’ to his chums) and plain old Miss Alice C. Tyser yesterday was information about the passing of one Dr Colin Fleetcroft. This no doubt dear old gentleman is as listed as “much loved and will be greatly missed.”
On the same page, however, someone bizarrely took a much larger space to send a cryptic message to someone named ‘Andrew.’ In it – without mentioning said chap’s surname or their own name even – they penned their sorrows about “the love of their life” in a fashion that was rather akin to Philip Larkin’s This Be The Verse. They ended with some depressing words of discouragement that read: “Choosing between life and death, I’d much prefer to die; Take my advice, don’t fall in love, you’ll get hurt before it’s through; You see, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.”
Frankly, though it is most surprising that somebody would feel the need to write such pugnacious drivel, it is even more surprising that The Times would deign to publish it.
Pictured top: Disgraced royal Prince Andrew with alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell. Could this be a missive from the missing for months daughter of ‘Bouncing Bob’ to ‘Randy Andy’? Unlikely, but stranger things have happened given these two and their “secret visits.”
The cryptic message ‘TO ANDREW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE’ that appeared in ‘The Times’ on Thursday 30th January 2020. Could the part about: “When you are left weighed down by fright” be a coded message from in-hiding since August Miss Maxwell asking the Duke of York for help on a page he no doubt reads over breakfast?
The full text of ‘To Andrew’ follows:
In Memoriam – Private
TO ANDREW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Did you ever love someone deeply, and out they didn’t love you?
Did you ever feel they weren’t kind to you, and wonder what you should do?
Did you ever blindly trust in love, but your love didn’t want to stay?
Love only causes problems, it happens every day
You wonder how they can sleep at night
You wonder how they can feel delight
You wonder how love could ever feel light
When you are left weighed down by fright
Love hurts so much, the price you pay is high
Choosing between love and death, I’d much prefer to die
Take my advice, don’t fall in love, you’ll get hurt before it’s through
You see, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.
Actor Laurence Fox has most unjustifiably been condemned for calling out the ‘MegExit’ saga as “boring” and nothing to do with racism
Laurence Fox rightly dared to suggest that the whole ‘MegExit’ saga has nothing to do with “racism” and also suggested Labour should not choose its leader on the basis of what sex they are on the BBC’s Question Time last Thursday. He probably should have anticipated it, but the reaction that followed has been utterly preposterous.
Condemned by that nasty little harpy Lily Allen – a wastrel of a woman whom instead ought to live by the title of her 2014 song Wind Your Neck In – for “forcing his opinions” on “normal people” and “ranting about things you don’t know anything about,” Fox’s alleged “crime” went viral after a studio guest, a “researcher on race and ethnicity” named Rachel Boyle, labelled him a “white privileged male.”
In the days that have followed, Equity allowed its Twitter account to be used to describe Fox as a “disgrace to our industry” and one social media user announced: “You know what would be hilarious. If someone walked up to Laurence Fox and unloaded a couple [of] shotgun shells into his face. Ending his racist, miserable existence. I’d just laugh and laugh…”
Quite frankly, we join those saluting Laurence Fox. He responded reasonably to an overtly overly politically correct woman and called out the whole ‘MeGain’ saga for what it truly is: Self-absorbed nonsense. As the actor himself concluded: “It’s really starting to get boring now.”
Matthew Steeples joins those condemning the ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her under-the-thumb hubbie ‘Prince Halfwit’
Today is the Duchess of Cambridge’s birthday, so naturally – as she always just has to do – the Duchess of Sussex opted most selfishly to upstage her.
Aside from repeatedly portraying her sister-in-law as some kind of ‘Stepford Wives-like’ character with too many children (“bad for the environment”), this mendacious meddler has now caused her husband to perform the ultimate volte-face and shockingly insult his own family.
With even her own disgustingly ignored father (who paid for her vastly expensive education) describing his brattish daughter’s move with the words: “I’ll just simply say I am disappointed,” ‘MeGain’ is now “reshaping” and becoming “financially independent” (take that to mean “raking in” as much as she can). In preparation, last June, she even trademarked the words: “Sussex Royal” as part of her desire to “create a global empire.” Plainly this delusional wench wants to take up where the late “I’m Stuart Baggs the brand” left off and become “Meghan Markle the brand.”
Aside from the fact that ‘Murky Mucky’ supposedly does not want to give up her £600,000 per year publicly funded entourage and Frogmore Cottage (renovated at a cost of £2.4 million courtesy of the Sovereign Grant in 2019), that these royals who want to be royals (but without the annoying hinderances they can’t be bothered with) have insulted not only the former Kate Middleton on her name day and the Queen also is a disgrace.
I say: Off to the Tower with the pair of them. The ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and the alleged PTSD sufferer ‘Prince Halfwit’ are nothing but a modern day outrage. Shame on them.
Pretentious number plate ‘BIG’ attracts attention in Knightsbridge
‘Mr Big’ in Sex and the City was considered a bit of player. He was the “big man on the campus” according to Carrie Bradshaw and he was an “intriguing character” in the eyes of Comcast.
Now, in Cadogan Square in London, someone has decided to pretend to be him. They’ve positioned their ego on a Porsche and installed on it a numberplate that reads ‘81G’ (or ‘BIG’ to the casual observer).
Plainly not all locals were as unimpressed as us: Someone named Tabrez left a note on the car asking to buy it. He announced: “I already hold other ‘BIG’ plates.”
Update – 14th April 2021 – ‘81G’ attracted the attention of Sam McAlister, the BBC “booker extraordinaire” of Prince Andrew for that now forever infamous ‘Newsnight’ interview. She shared an image of the Porsche with her 11,600 followers and remarked: “I bet it isn’t…” and attracted over 3,200 likes and 140 retweets.
Personalised number plates are very much something people either love or loathe. In London, they are ten-a-penny and frankly though some can be amusing, many are just ludicrous, tacky, stupid and common.This motorist plainly thinks driving around emblazoned with a plate referencing the ‘G-spot’ makes them either witty or sexually appealing even. Frankly, unless the owner works in a sex clinic, what are they trying to achieve?Another motorist with a bizarre or frankly warped sense of humour imagines this plate to be appealing. We’d argue, instead, that the owner of this car instead gets mocked and derided wherever they dare drive.
![The New ‘Knights’ of Knightsbridge – Tessal London, Beauchamp Place – As a shop selling “bringing back the royalty of [Arabia] home” opens in Knightsbridge, we ask: “Whatever next?”](https://www.thesteepletimes.com//wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Tessal-London-Beauchamp-Place.jpg)
