The Steeple Times

Tag: Queen

  • Bathtub Bonkers

    Bathtub Bonkers

    As a poll in ‘The Sun’ reveals 89% of participants do not want to see alleged bathtub shagger Prince Andrew return to public duty, his batshit bonkers ex-wife makes what she calls ‘bathtub teddies’

    Whilst ‘Randy Andy’s’ live-in ex-wife is well known for having her toes sucked by her lovers, this week she turned to making bizarre jokes as she waved frankfurters around in a somewhat sexual fashion on her Storytime with Fergie and Friends YouTube channel.

     

    Plainly ignoring public outrage about the Duke of York’s alleged non-sweaty bathtub antics in Ghislaine Maxwell’s Kinnerton Street, Belgravia home with Virginia Giuffre, ‘Fergie’ also decided to make what she termed some ‘bathtub teddies.’ Whilst it turned out that this simpleton was actually just playing with cupcakes (as you do), it is just clear that this wack job just doesn’t get the severity of what the Pizza Express lover stands accused.

     

    Elsewhere in The Sun on Sunday this morning, just as a poll has suggested the vast majority of the public do not wish to see Prince Andrew return to public duties, it seems the ‘Prince of Darkness’ has been making “secret night visits to the Queen as he plots [a] public return.” Quite frankly, he’d be better doing something else instead: Get back in his tub and scrub himself into obscurity.

     

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    Bathtub Bonkers – Prince Andrew and Fergie and bathtubs – As a poll in ‘The Sun’ reveals 89% of participants do not want to see alleged bathtub shagger Prince Andrew return to public duty, his batshit bonkers ex-wife makes what she calls ‘bathtub teddies.’
    Redbubble.com are now selling bath mats featuring an image of Prince Andrew online for £23.61. Measuring 61cm by 43cm, the 100% polyester microfiber printed foam with non-slip bottom items are captioned: “Nonce.”
    Bathtub Bonkers – Prince Andrew and Fergie and bathtubs – As a poll in ‘The Sun’ reveals 89% of participants do not want to see alleged bathtub shagger Prince Andrew return to public duty, his batshit bonkers ex-wife makes what she calls ‘bathtub teddies.’
    Sarah Ferguson was photographed having her toes sucked by her then lover John Bryan at a villa in the South of France in 1992.
  • Randy Andy’s Last Stamp

    Randy Andy’s Last Stamp

    As the Queen stops selling postcards featuring Prince Andrew, an online card printer has started selling ones of the late Jeffrey Epstein’s friend ‘Randy Andy’ with a rather controversial caption

    Yesterday, The Sun reported that staff at a gift shop at Balmoral has “stopped selling postcards featuring Prince Andrew to tourists” on the orders of the Queen.

     

    Of the decision, a tourist told the paper:

     

    “Previously Andrew postcards have been on sale. But while there are postcards of Charles, Anne and Edward – and even the Queen’s grandchildren, Beatrice and Eugenie – there is not one of the Duke of York.”

     

    “When I asked if it was possible to buy one of Andrew, a sales assistant said ‘No, we’ve taken them away. And they won’t be making any more of them.’”

     

    “Another said ‘I’m afraid he (Andrew) is very much on the naughty step.’”

     

    Meanwhile, elsewhere online a website named Redbubble is now selling digitally printed greeting cards featuring ‘Randy Andy.’ Priced at £2.38 each for one or £1.55 each if you buy fifty or more, the image is accompanied by the caption: “NONCE.” One or two have no doubt already been sent to Ghislaine Maxwell.

     

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    Randy Andy’s Last Stamp – Prince Andrew postcards discontinued – As the Queen stops selling postcards featuring Prince Andrew, an online card printer has started selling ones of the late Jeffrey Epstein’s friend ‘Randy Andy’ with a rather controversial caption
    As an alternative, ‘The Sun’ suggested a new postcard featuring ‘Randy Andy’ alongside an image of Pizza Express, Woking.
    Randy Andy’s Last Stamp – Prince Andrew postcards discontinued – As the Queen stops selling postcards featuring Prince Andrew, an online card printer has started selling ones of the late Jeffrey Epstein’s friend ‘Randy Andy’ with a rather controversial caption
    Redbubble’s greetings card features the reduced royal and the word: “NONCE.”
  • MeGain’s Media Muckup

    MeGain’s Media Muckup

    The Duchess of Sussex has well and truly failed in her attempt to manipulate both the media and the public; Prince Charles must now intervene

    The overindulged Duchess of Sussex has well and truly morphed into ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ whilst her husband Prince Harry has simply become a drip.

     

    The couple’s attempt to share their take on the fallout of their move to America is fast falling apart and with each and every revelation from Finding Freedom, all we learn is that this dreadful duo are nothing but spoilt attention seekers.

     

    When Dominic Lawson suggested the monarchy remains a “rule of one” this morning, he was quite right and now is the time for someone else to step in: Prince Charles must tell his wayward son to man up and he must tell the mendacious Z-list actress to stop her media meddling.

     

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  • Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt

    Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt

    Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters

    Crazy crackpot Stephanie Pratt happens to be a criminal. This former crystal meth addict is also a loudmouth and now, she’s fulfilled her prattish surname in demanding shoplifters be shot.

     

    Twerp of Twitter, ‘Shady Steph’ – a washed-up wastrel who’ll not be giving Albert Einstein a run for his money any day soon – posted the comment: “Shoot the looters” on Monday, but deleted the remark after being quite correctly reminded she’d been arrested for stealing £1,033 ($1,300) of clothing from Neiman Marcus in May 2006. Whilst in custody this rotten ratbag was also found to be in the possession of drugs.

     

    Reported to Twitter for “inciting violence” and called out a “worthless good for nothing tw*t,” pointless pillock Pratt did not stop there. Further examples of this dumb blonde’s recent social media ‘activity’ follows.

     

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    Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt – Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters.
    Poor lamb – Pratt highlighted her first world problems in May. She couldn’t find an airline willing to take her and her pooch.
    Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt – Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters.
    Shopped out – In April, this alleged-no-longer-a-junkie tried to claim she’d found a new addiction: Amazon. Anyone got a polygraph machine handy?
    Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt – Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters.
    Music’s not her forte – In March, madam shared news of someone we’ve never heard of writing a song about “the horrible coronavirus.” Her sentiments made sense to just about no one.
    Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt – Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters.
    We’re sure the Queen was touched – In January, Pratt claimed to be “in complete denial” about Prince Harry and his wife quitting royal duties. The reality car wreck most likely hankers after the dastardly duo becoming her new ‘besties.’
    Wally of the Week – Stephanie Pratt – Shoplifter Stephanie Pratt fulfils her prattish surname in urging urges cops to shoot shoplifters.
    Cleaned out – In November last year, ‘Shady Steph’ shared news that she cleans her house before her cleaner arrives. Anyone surprised? Anyone guessing she might have a lot of white stuff to hoover up?
  • Mixed Up McGee

    Mixed Up McGee

    Dippy Debbie McGee yet again confirms her status as the ultimate airhead in boasting about her connections to ‘Randy Andy’ and is met with a denial from a royal source

    Right now, most people would keep quiet any connection to Prince Andrew. Aside from his antics in Pizza Express (Woking branch), the disgraced royal is “in financial hot water following the Epstein scandal” according to Tatler’s amusingly named Hope Coke and he’s been “royally dumped” by everyone from Barclays to the University of Huddersfield.

     

    With his dimwit on-off live-in ex-wife forced to take up hawking crappy books yet again to fend off other creditors, Prince Andrew’s woes continue to mount and now ‘The Lovely Debbie McGee’ has gone and stuck her oar into the thick of it. Of course, as always with “a sandwich short of a picnic” Debbie, it wasn’t meant nastily, but, as ever with her, the intervention was anything but relevant.

     

    In this morning’s Daily Mail, a decidedly short-of-real-stories reporter called David Wilkes shared vitally important news that the late Paul Daniels’ wife now has a podcast titled Spill The Tea with Debbie McGee. He also revealed that on it, she’d bragged that Prince Andrew had flown the magician in “one of Her Majesty’s helicopters” from Stoke-on-Trent to Windsor Castle.

     

    “Muggins, Me, McGee” – who also fascinatingly told of how she’d “knocked over a glass of wine last week” and “burnt the edges of her salad leaves the other day” on the podcast too – reported that she did not get to go along for the ride and was instead forced to drive the couple’s car to London. She, thus, luckily avoided an encounter with the Duke of York’s non-sweating hands, but was “sad” that she didn’t get a lift in the Queen’s car – which her husband got to hitch a lift in from Windsor to The Savoy Hotel also.

     

    In response, a “royal source” flatly denied ‘Dim Debbie’s’ claims and remarked: “If this story is true it did not involve one of Her Majesty’s helicopters.” The poor dear plainly conjured up this story from the bottom of her tea leaves, but at least it wasn’t as sordid as when she revealed she put a “disturb mask across her private parts” whilst naked and waiting for her husband to come to bed. Now there’s a sexual story that definitely should not be repeated.

     

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  • Grubby Story Time With Fergie & Friends

    Grubby Story Time With Fergie & Friends

    ‘Randy Andy’s’ ex-wife Sarah Ferguson excels (again) in sharing videos of coronavirus bailout money grabber Sir Richard Branson’s son on her not so popular YouTube channel

    You’d have thought Sarah Ferguson – ex-wife and live-in comedy sidekick of he who doesn’t sweat (unless he’s in the Woking branch of Pizza Express or allegedly grubbing around  doing a bit of  groping in the mansion of a now dead paedophile) Prince Andrew – would have kept her gob shut for once, but no, as ever, this weird whackjob just could not help herself.

     

    On Saturday, in spite of stories circulating about the pugnacious pair being sued for £6.7 million after not stumping up what they owe on a £20 million Swiss ski chalet (as only these spendthrifts could be expected to do) and yet more tawdry revelations about Prince Andrew inappropriately paying £355,927 to his former private secretary via his PACT charity (strange that that shares a name with that of their “charity tin rattling” mate Baroness Meyer’s now-deservedly-also-closed-down “venture”), Sarah Ferguson decided to take to YouTube.

     

    Here, on her not especially popular channel (she has just 2,500 followers), she shared a video of the son of one of the most loathed individuals of the coronavirus lockdown, Sir Richard Branson, strumming on a guitar and reading a story (it must have been hard for him to sit on a very expensive private island doing that whilst daddy was out begging for yet more millions of public wonga).

     

    Grubby Story Time With Fergie & Friends – ‘Randy Andy’s’ ex-wife Sarah Ferguson excels (again) in sharing videos of coronavirus bailout money grabber Sir Richard Branson’s son on her not so popular YouTube channel.
    Sarah Ferguson seems to think reading stories to children on YouTube will help redeem her reputation; the investors and creditors owed millions quite rightly think otherwise.

    As part of her crassly titled “Fergie & Friends” (does she actually have any left?) stories series, Sam Branson read from a book titled: I Am Human: A Book of Empathy. Somewhat laughably, the tale about “finding my way and choosing my path” (something Fergie most definitely isn’t terribly good at) had only received 12 likes on YouTube by Monday morning and given any chance of forgiveness for the ‘Duchess of Dork’ – whom also is facing legal actions from Chinese investors whom she took over £500,000 from – is all but over, she’d perhaps have done better to have parked this particular episode.

     

    Also last week, self-declared “spokesperson, best-selling children’s author, businesswoman, wellness advocate, producer and global humanitarian” (is there anything she can’t turn her money snatching hands to?) Ferguson joined LinkedIn. God only knows why she took such a course of action as frankly no one in their right mind would employ this train wreck. Frankly, instead, the well-known toe sucking wastrel would have done better to have simply done something else: She should have given up on the idea of ‘work’ (not that she knows what such even is) and taken ‘Randy Andy’ and retired together Sotogrande. If she did that, perhaps poor old ‘Brenda’ might get out of supposedly once again having to pay off yet more of the on-off couple’s bills and the non-sweater could save a dime and enjoy yet another freebie on the golf course.

     

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzFslpUsGyc
  • A Corona Getaway in London

    A Corona Getaway in London

    For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option (if you’ve got £7,700 per week to spare)

    If you’re rich, want to self-isolate during the coronavirus outbreak in London and don’t even want to go out to do shopping, you could do worse than move into a ‘residence’ within The Milestone Hotel overlooking Kensington Gardens and Kensington Palace in W8.

     

    Though the Red Carnation Collection hotel, on its own website, is described as “temporarily closed due to current travel restrictions,” serviced apartments within the property are still being advertised online as available.

     

    Listed on OnTheMarket.com for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night), a 743 square foot single-level, third floor apartment includes a reception room, two bedroom suites and a kitchen.

     

    It is described by Harrods Estates as “beautiful” and “sumptuous” and having the “warm sense of being in your own private home.” Featuring a “vibrant and sophisticated” decoration scheme designed by Bea Tollman, the hotel’s founder, the agents laud the “contemporary polish that so cleverly blends with balancing the traditional features.”

     

    ‘Characteristics’ available to those taking the space include full 24-hour hotel service, access to the hotel’s health club, daily housekeeping services, 24-hour butler and room service and a full grocery shopping service.

     

    The neo-Gothic former private home in which this ‘residence’ is situated became a hotel in 1922 and has been known as The Milestone since 1986. It has 43 guest bedrooms, 13 suites and 6 long-stay apartments and in 2019 unveiled a leopard print carpeted suite in honour of the Duchess of Sussex named the ‘Meghan Suite.’ A blessing or a bonus, depending on your view of the wayward on-off royal, is that the likelihood of the former Miss Markle popping in for tea at this time of lockdown is as likely as the Queen riding by on Shergar the racehorse.

     

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    A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).
    The exterior of The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom.
    A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).
    The main bedroom.
    A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).
    The second of the bedrooms.
    A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).
    The kitchen of the apartment has a look of something from the 1990s, but is perfectly functional.
    A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).
    A floor plan of Apartment 6, the ‘residence’ offered.
  • Roasting Randy Andy

    Roasting Randy Andy

    Caitlin Moran sums up the Duke of York perfectly in mocking the deviant royal’s creepiness

    There’s awkward and then there’s Prince Andrew and then there’s awful and there’s Prince Andrew.

     

    On Friday, witty journalist Caitlin Moran continued the barrage of mockery of this ghastly buffoon in The Times. She referenced how there no longer any “non-creepy” stories about this repugnant royal and cited stories about how the alleged non-sweating, Pizza Express (Woking branch) fanatic took alleged potential sexual conquests to Buckingham Palace. He supposedly told them to sit “on the Queen’s throne and pretend to be her and onto the famous balcony to wave to “imaginary crowds.”

     

    Continuing about these “what-abouts,” Moran concluded: “I know now the thing I would least like to see: Prince Andrew licking a stamp.” Spot on.

     

    Pictured top: Prince Andrew and his equally ghastly ex-wife, Sarah, Duchess of York.

     

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  • With Friends Like These…

    With Friends Like These…

    That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached

    ‘Randy Andy’ has never been considered capable of carefulness in his choice of company, but in opting to have one of the stingiest billionaires on the planet round for a spot of dinner (and a “few high-spirited games” afterwards according to The Sun) shows this alleged groper’s demise is nearly complete.

     

    This morning, the paper reported the Duke of York and his family had the poisonous dwarf Bernie Ecclestone round to his Royal Lodge, Windsor home last Wednesday to celebrate his birthday. That they couldn’t get a better quality of guest given the scandals they’re engulfed in is not surprising, but one is only left asking: “What did this reprehensible bunch consume?”

     

    Given tax careful Bernard – a man with qualities that would make Leona Helmsley look generous – is renowned for his meanness with money, most likely he brought with him the cheapest margherita from the Woking branch of Pizza Express. Undoubtedly nobody sweated either and one can likely predict that ‘The Coffin Dodger’ opted to take the takeaway cardboard box home with him for re-use later.

     

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    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    Prince Andrew is plainly a man who’ll hang out with anyone – as long as they are rich and/or powerful. He had no qualms in staying with the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein after he got out of jail.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    He’s spent time with the alleged procurer of underage girls Ghislaine Maxwell as recently as last summer.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    He’s a friend of Donald and Melania Trump. The President is well-known for tax evasion and many other nefarious activities.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    He and his wife spent time holidaying at the expense of the alleged paedophile Peter Nygard.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    The Duke and Duchess of York also associated with the convicted paedophile Stuart Hall. Shame on the pair of them.
  • MeGain Flies Commercial

    MeGain Flies Commercial

    Matthew Steeples joins those condemning the ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her under-the-thumb hubbie ‘Prince Halfwit’

    Today is the Duchess of Cambridge’s birthday, so naturally – as she always just has to do – the Duchess of Sussex opted most selfishly to upstage her.

     

    Aside from repeatedly portraying her sister-in-law as some kind of ‘Stepford Wives-like’ character with too many children (“bad for the environment”), this mendacious meddler has now caused her husband to perform the ultimate volte-face and shockingly insult his own family.

     

    With even her own disgustingly ignored father (who paid for her vastly expensive education) describing his brattish daughter’s move with the words: “I’ll just simply say I am disappointed,” ‘MeGain’ is now “reshaping” and becoming “financially independent” (take that to mean “raking in” as much as she can). In preparation, last June, she even trademarked the words: “Sussex Royal” as part of her desire to “create a global empire.” Plainly this delusional wench wants to take up where the late “I’m Stuart Baggs the brand” left off and become “Meghan Markle the brand.”

     

    Aside from the fact that ‘Murky Mucky’ supposedly does not want to give up her £600,000 per year publicly funded entourage and Frogmore Cottage (renovated at a cost of £2.4 million courtesy of the Sovereign Grant in 2019), that these royals who want to be royals (but without the annoying hinderances they can’t be bothered with) have insulted not only the former Kate Middleton on her name day and the Queen also is a disgrace.

     

    I say: Off to the Tower with the pair of them. The ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and the alleged PTSD sufferer ‘Prince Halfwit’ are nothing but a modern day outrage. Shame on them.

     

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