Tag: fun

  • Julian Sessé, ‘The Belgravia Butler’ (1906 – 1970, murdered by meat cleaver)

    Julian Sessé, ‘The Belgravia Butler’ (1906 – 1970, murdered by meat cleaver)

    • A Belgian born butler to the bastion of business Lord Bernstein – chief of Granada Television – was brutally murdered in a mansion in Wilton Crescent, Belgravia, London just before Christmas in 1970.
    • The closeted victim, Julian Sessé, was savagely slayed with a knife and a meat cleaver by a much younger bisexual gigolo, Mustapha Bassiane.
    • Bassiane subsequently fled to Morocco and then got snared when he audaciously returned to Europe in 1972; he was sentenced to life in prison in 1973 and deported back to his homeland 11 years later.
    • The ‘Scotland Yard Uncensored’ podcast recently covered this little known case, but failed to mention the strange fact that The National Archives have records on the case closed until January 2071; who is actually being protected here and why?

    London’s Belgravia is renowned for its associations with power and privilege and as some might say, where there’s money there’s quite often muck, meddling, murkiness and murder.

     

    Whilst the infamous 7th November 1974 murder of Sandra Rivett – the nanny to the children of Lord and Lady Lucan – at 46 Lower Belgrave Street, SW1 has gone down in history for all the wrong reasons, a sadistic slaying four years earlier on 19th December 1970 at another ritzy residence nearby is one that has been largely forgotten.

     

    The victim in the particular case in question, it was noted in a recent Scotland Yard Confidential podcast by John Hopkins, was “a kind and generous man in life,” but one who was “shamed and shunned after his own brutal murder.” In this day and age, such a clear cancellation would quite rightly be called out as an utter outrage and especially at a time when the Metropolitan Police are so deservedly under fire for their appalling levels of misconduct.

     

    On the tragic Saturday night in question in 1970 and just before London revelled in the arrival of a ‘White Christmas’ just six days later, 64-year-old Belgian butler Julian Louis George Sessé was senselessly beaten and brutally murdered with a kitchen knife and meat cleaver. Here was a crime that involved a butler to the rich and famous, but a crime also that was quite the opposite of those crimes orchestrated by the notorious ‘Killer Butler’ Archibald Hall. For those yet to know of him, Hall – who was also known as the ‘Monster Butler’ – mercilessly robbed and murdered in the same part of Belgravia later in the 1970s. Perhaps there could be something in the water of that part of SW1…

     

    Unlike self-serving monster Hall, “dedicated” Sessé had worked at a 5-bedroomed mansion at 32 Wilton Crescent, just off Belgrave Square “for decades.” His end was to come that snowy evening when he was mercilessly slaughtered sometime after 11pm in a basement grace and favour flat that he occupied in the home of his very well-known employer Sidney Bernstein, Baron Bernstein – the buccaneering bastion businessman and chairman of the Granada Group and Granada Television.

     

    Described as “tall and distinguished” and always “neatly dressed in pinstriped trousers and black jackets,” neighbours argued this particular butler to be “the perfect servant.” Grey haired Sessé was lauded by the owner of the nearest ale house to 32 Wilton Crescent, The Grenadier, as “a quiet and respectable customer.” Here, indeed, was an example of someone who would not wanted to have brought any “shame or stigma” upon his master and mistress.

     

    Alone that night in the vast and imposing 32 Wilton Crescent mansion whilst Lord and Lady Bernstein were away on holiday in the West Indies and with other staff having been given a “leave of absence,” homosexual Sessé most unfortunately decided to take advantage of something akin to “whilst the cat’s away, the butler might play.” He invited a “drifter-like” 26-year-old unemployed Moroccan nurse named Mustapha Bassaine to ‘visit’ his “cosy apartment” and clearly anticipated a night of fun and frollicks. The two clearly closeted – but for very different reasons – men had met prior and money had previously been exchanged for ‘companionship’ and sexual activities, it was later noted.

     

    That night’s ‘pairing’ represented anything but a ‘relationship’ of equals and was one instead where the elder man expected intimacy with the former whilst the younger believed he could rinse the latter of as much money as possible. Given “pock marked” faced Bassaine was a dastardly deviant and diminutive desperado who’d been out drinking with his girlfriend prior, it was to be a meeting that was never going to end well.

     

    Sessé was said to have been of the view that “money that exchanged hands be called a ‘gift,’” but was similarly described as not being under any delusions about what he gained from the “clandestine” encounters he had with various young men. He was a man with ‘friends’ with similar attractions, but in the wake of his death, his family and most associates clammed up and denied knowledge of such preferences. As loyal as the butler, relative and friend had been, it seemed that that was sadly never repaid by those he should have been able to have expected to have remained closest to him.

     

    After a delivery driver and a part-time cleaner failed to find signs of life and several days of out-of-date newspapers on the doorstep of 32 Wilton Crescent on Monday 21st December, the latter called Lord Bernstein’s secretary, a 24-year-old named Miss Hazelwood. She then opened up the property and discovered a scene that Hopkins described as having “shocked her to the core” in the basement. Naturally scared witless, the secretary dialled 999 and the police process began.

     

    Blood was said to spattered everywhere. It was all over the living room and all over the kitchen, but it was in a bathroom – most bizarrely locked from the outside – that the body of Julian Sessé was discovered draped in an equally bloody bath towel. The poor unfortunate’s throat had been cut and aside from multiple stab wounds to his head and chest, his stomach had been slashed open. A knife and a meat cleaver were bizarrely located by officers in the bowl of a latrine and given the “high profile” of the house owner, the case was “quickly passed to Scotland Yard.” Scandal, after all, would be something that the likes of Lord and Lady Bernstein obviously would rather avoid.

     

    Detective Superintendent John ‘Ginger’ Hensley – who had previously been involved in the investigation of the vicious 1966 Shepherd’s Bush policemen murders by Harry Roberts – took the case and the next item to be found just happened to be the bloodstained trousers of the man presumed to be the killer in a washing machine. They were clearly not the trousers of the much larger Sessé and with a wardrobe in his bedroom ajar, it was thus determined the murderer likely fled in a pair belonging to his victim.

     

    Evidence of foul play was everywhere and no attempt had been made to clean up. It was noted by Hopkins that it “all seemed wild and confused” and with no sign of forced entry and letters that indicated Sessé’s ‘activities’ with other gay men including paying for sex, Hensley is said to have immediately surmised it a “crime of passion” rather than a simpler robbery gone wrong.

     

    Shortly thereafter, a pathologist determined that Sessé had partaken in sexual intercourse not long prior to his demise and found the cause of his death to be shock and loss of blood following a frenzied attack with both the knife and the meat cleaver. His demise would have not been instant and wounds to the body suggested that this was a man whom most definitely courageously fought back.

     

    As police inquiries proceeded, few friends and associates were willing to divulge information. This, after all, was an era where to be seen to be gay was still the ultimate taboo. Though one local vaguely cited a “foreign looking man” having been seen outside the house at the time of the murder most horrid, all leads had alibis and even Sessé’s very own family made it clear that they knew nothing of his sexuality. The family went as far as to add that that they simply “did not want to know.”

     

    Given these factors, here was a case that initially seemed headed to join a long list of unsolved murders, but a breakthrough came just days later on Wednesday 23rd December. On that date, police were contacted by an Irish waitress named Jean Fitzgerald from her home in Anson Road, Tufnell Park after she’d “spent days and nights wondering about the case.” The 22-year-old claimed to have met Sessé through her bisexual boyfriend and stated thatmhe had arranged to go to meet the butler at 32 Wilton Crescent after the couple had been for drinks in the West End late on the fateful night in question.

     

    Allegedly, Bassaine had told his girlfriend that he would “visit Sessé to try and get some money off him.” She admitted to police she was “not a fan of her partner’s activities with other men,” but “understood that he usually got well paid for his ‘services.’” Hopkins went further and surmised that this “somewhat timid woman, but one with fire in her eyes” had an excuse for overlooking the ‘activities.’ That excuse was: “Besides, we always needed money.”

     

    During questioning, Fitzgerald stated that she had gone home after being in the West End alone late on 19th December as Bassaine had left her to head over to Belgravia at around 11pm. She further shared:

     

    “We paid the rent on the apartment between the two of us. He got money in another way when he was unemployed. Sometimes he gave me money but I don’t know where he got it from. He said something about going out with ‘faggots,’ having drinks with them, and getting money from them. He showed me a picture of Mr Sessé and told me that the butler often gave him money.”

     

    Bassiane did not return home that night, but instead called Fitzgerald the next afternoon. He asked her to come to Sessé’s apartment, but she declined. Of why, she subsequently reminisced:

     

    “I thought it was very strange that he wanted me to go there. He wanted me to go for a drink [at 32 Wilton Crescent] and he got mad when I said no. I was afraid of Mustapha Bassaine because he was very depraved at times and I was afraid that he would beat me like he had done before.”

     

    After his girlfriend’s refusal to attend, Bassiane himself returned to Anson Road drunk and cried as he told Fitzgerald that he had argued with his ‘friend.’ She noted that he was wearing clothes he had not worn before – including trousers and a jumper that were “too large for him” – and “assumed they belonged to Sessé.” Going further, aside from noting her boyfriend’s shoes were stained with blood and that he had scratches on his hands, she suggested that she was so scared of Bassiane’s mental state that she was fearful to go to bed. Instead, she sat up all night with him, she continued.

     

    “He arrived with a bag full of drinks and fruit and showed me a watch, a camera and a ring that he told me were Christmas gifts that Julian had given him. On 22nd December, he threw some clothes and some papers in the trash and told me that he had to go to Morocco immediately because his mother was sick. He bought an air ticket and went by plane. He had no difficulty paying for the ticket in cash even though he had no money when he went to Julian’s house over the weekend.”

     

    Despite being supposedly penniless and potless only a couple of days earlier, Mustapha Bassaine flew to Casablanca on 23rd December after having paid the then not insubstantial sum of £44 in cash for a one-way ticket. He also exchanged a further £50 in cash for Moroccan Dirhams and after giving Jean Fitzgerald his Moroccan familial address, requested she send any newspaper cuttings that mentioned his name there. Allegedly, according to the Irish waitress, he also mentioned having seen newspaper reports about the murder at 32 Wilton Crescent and added “he couldn’t understand how anyone could have done such a thing to a man as nice as Julian.”

     

    Though police officers questioned whether Fitzgerald could just be another ‘spurned girlfriend,’ some of the details mentioned made Hensley take her more seriously than the many cranks who call in when crime occurs. A search of bins in the neighbourhood followed and resulted in the aforementioned bloodstained shoes and trousers being found.

     

    Justifiably, Bassiane – who turned out to be the son of a high ranking official in the Moroccan Foreign Office – was either a man too stupid to dispose of the items of his crime or he was someone who had a plan and didn’t think he needed to be bothered about the consequences of the DNA on them. Meanwhile, fingerprints found in the couple’s Anson Road flat matched fingerprints found at 32 Wilton Crescent and thus here was a man who rose straight to number one on the list of suspects.

     

    Ten days after the murder, police issued an international warrant being for Musapha Bassiane’s arrest, but there was a major problem for Scotland Yard as Britain had no extradition treaty with Morocco. It seemed, given the key suspect had already ‘flown the nest,’ as long as he stayed in his homeland, Bassiane was a safe fugitive from justice. This was a situation similar to that involving the billionaire playboy Farouk Abdulhak in the more recent 2008 ‘Murder in Mayfair’ of Martine Vik Magnussen; getting someone back from a country like Morocco then or Yemen now is, in fact, nigh on impossible.

     

    In addition, in case Fitzgerald had either got it wrong about where her errant bisexual lover was travelling to, or was instead covering for him, a police watch was put on her Anson Road flat in case he decided to return. Of course, aware that this young Irish girl was of no further use to him, the grubby, grifter never, ever did revisit that address but found himself safely hidden away in his homeland.

     

    Meanwhile, with their holidays over, Lord and Lady Bernstein returned from their tour of the West Indies – where they had visited either Barbados or Bermuda or perhaps even both (depending on which reports you believe) – shortly after Christmas. Funeral arrangements were made for Julian Sessé, but only a small number of people were said to have attended a service at St Mary’s Catholic church in Cadogan Street, Chelsea. The deceased’s place of burial remains presently unknown, but it is said that his clearly embarrassed family “refused” to attend the service in what can only be perceived as move most spineless.

     

    Separately, on returning to 32 Wilton Crescent, though Lady Bernstein identified that a sum of £80 was missing from the desk in her bedroom, a search of the house discovered that no further familial property had been stolen. By now, however, it seemed that the aforementioned watch, camera and ring and perhaps further money taken by Bassiane to the Anson Road apartment had actually been stolen instead from his victim.

     

    In spite of all of this relevant new information, the judicial process was opened and postponed no less than eight times. According to the person in charge of the criminal investigation, a Mr Gavin Ilurston, “the investigations were not finished.” The reasoning for such is definitely something worthy of question still to this day.

     

    Hensley, however, knew exactly where Bassiane was in Morocco and “through Interpol asked other the police of all European countries in Europe countries to be prepared” in case the suspected killer appeared. Eighteen months later, he got again lucky when he and his colleague Detective Sergeant Bernard Davis were informed that the on-the-run deadbeat was planning a trip to Germany and the Netherlands.

     

    “Handlebar moustached” dimwit Bassaine was arrested on 28th June 1972 after police in Holland detained him for immigration offences in Rotterdam. Given the fugitive from justice had been on Interpol’s list as wanted for murder, if he’d simply stayed in Morocco, he would not have ever been caught, but here instead was a feckless fool clearly beyond arrogant who thought himself above the law.

     

    By 10th July 1972, with extradition paperwork complete, Mustapha Bassiane was transferred to the custody of Davis and shackled to him and flown to London. A flight attendant, Hopkins in the conclusions of his podcast shared, requested the shackles be removed for the duration of the journey, but Davis was most definitely not going to allow any opportunity his captive to escape for a second time. The unshackling was rejected and once in London, it was straight off to a remand prison until trial for the man suspected of the murder of Julian Sessé.

     

    On 8th February 1973, Bassiane’s trial began at London’s ‘Old Bailey’ Central Criminal Court. Akin to form, he pleaded not guilty and though admitting to having spent the evening with Sessé, argued that “the butler was in fine health when he left on the Sunday morning.”

     

    Turning the cards on his by then ex-lover Fitzgerald, Bassiane told the court that she “flew into a wild jealous rage” and threatened to “harm the old man and hurt the old bastard… She threatened to smash his face.” He added that “the same day Jean Fitzgerald had gone out and he had not seen her until the afternoon. She was shaking and had told him she was sick.” His basic and somewhat bizarre line of defence – given the substantive forensic evidence against his own person – was that it was her and not him that had committed the ‘crime passionnel.’

     

    Unsurprisingly, the jury did not believe this “fierce tempered” killer and Mustapha Bassiane found himself sentenced to life in prison on 12th February 1973. He also received a concurrent sentence of two years for stealing £80 in cash from Lady Bernstein’s desk – a sum that was about equivalent to a month’s average wages at that time, but most definitely not a sum worth killing for.

     

    Before sending him down, the judge in the case slammed Bassiane. Judge Forbes is said to have told the court: “This was a brutal murder. The sentence has been the product of evidence in which there is no doubt. Your attempt to place part of the blame on Miss Fitzgerald has received the treatment it deserves.”

     

    It is unknown what became of this murdering monster after he was deported in 1984. Mustapha Bassiane had served just 11 years of his life sentence in the UK; a term that surely was far from long enough for such a brutal and evil murder and a crime committed in a country where young men who proclaim their innocence like Mark Alexander and Omar Benguit have rotted in prison for 13 years and 18 years respectively in spite of a clear lack of evidence against them.

     

    Turning to other thoughts post-sentencing, Hopkins shared in his podcast that Hensley believed Bassaine had tried to blackmail the butler and killed him when he didn’t comply. He also suggested that “hapless” Fitzgerald could have been implicated if she had gone to the mansion that night and concluded “her distrust of his motives may have just saved her from a dark fate” at 32 Wilton Crescent. Would her lover have killed her there also or would he have set the place up to pin the blame on her? Thankfully, given she saw sense, no one will ever know.

     

    If still alive in 2023, Mustapha Bassaine would be 79-years-old; Julian Sessé, on the other hand, would be long dead, but if he hadn’t met his noxious nemesis that night in December 1973, he’d probably have gotten to have enjoyed a long, happy and fulfilled retirement. The ‘Belgravia Butler’ perhaps should have been more careful, but he most definitely didn’t deserve such a sordid end.

     

    Given also that a National Archive lockdown on documents relating to this case was orchestrated for 97 years on 1st January 1973 with a record opening date of 1st January 2071 and a review date of 2021 that changed nothing, is something still being hidden regarding this case? After all, this murder occurred in the home of Lord Bernstein, a very powerful Chagall collecting business titan with links to Sir Alfred Hitchcock and a man once part of the Ministry of Information. We join John Hopkins of Scotland Yard Confidential and wonder if “the real truth” of what happened to “kindly” Julian Sessé on 19th December 1970 will ever actually be known.

     

    Pictured top – No image of Julian Sessé can be found on the Internet (left); 32 Wilton Crescent (top centre) and the late Granada head honcho Lord Bernstein (lower centre); killer Mustapha Bassaine in the only known image available of him (right).

     

    Listen to the ‘Scotland Yard Confidential’ episode about the slaying of ‘The Peer’s Butler’ by clicking here.

     

    Editor’s note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

     

    A message from our editorial team – Thank you for reading this article. We’re more reliant on your support than ever as the shift in consumer habits brought about by coronavirus and the cost-of-living crisis impacts our advertisers. If you haven’t already, please consider supporting our trusted, fact-checked journalism by supporting our work via Patreon.

     

    Scotland Yard Confidential butler murder Belgravia Julian Sesse 1970
    The story of the December 1970 slaying at 32 Wilton Crescent features in a 37:02-minute March 2023 episode of the excellent podcast ‘Scotland Yard Confidential’ – which can be listened to as ‘A Spotify Original.’ The description for the episode reads: “In December 1970, Julian Sessé, the long-serving butler to Granada TV Chairman, Lord Bernstein, was found brutally murdered in his basement flat in Belgravia. With little hope for a successful investigation, and two murder cases already on their books, local police quickly handed the case to Scotland Yard. Evidence gathered from the flat revealed that the elegant 65-year-old butler was in the habit of picking up younger men and entertaining them at his home. He was discreet and private in these affairs, and his personal acquaintances were equally secretive. Was his killer a stranger or a friend? And how would detectives trace him if no one was willing to talk? It fell to Detective Chief Superintendent John ‘Ginger’ Hensley to crack the case of the Peer’s Butler. Learn more about your ad choices.”
    Julian Sesse murderer Mustapha Bassaine convicted
    In an edition of ‘The News’ on 16th February 1973 that reported on Julian Bassaine receiving a life sentence for the slaying of Lord Bernstein’s butler, other articles included one about a Burton’s Court, Chelsea, SW3 resident having had £1,100 fur coat stolen “while she was having her hair done” and another listing TV licence fines awarded to residents of Draycott Place, Sloane Court West, Lyall Streeet, Margeretta Terrace, Sydney Street and Swan Court. A tragic story of a mother and baby found dead in a bedsit in Onslow Gardens, SW7 was referenced on the same page along with an ex-Grenadier Guardsmen being found dead after a fit in a ‘super loo’ at Victoria Station, SW1. A tale of a drunken man being fined after throwing a bottle through a Kings Road boutique, the Little-Big-Horn was one of the day’s more light-hearted pieces of coverage; Thomas Patrick Canon of Redburn Street, SW3 told the judge: “I am terribly sorry for what I have done, but had no recollection of it. All over the weekend I have asked myself what reason I had to do it and I can’t come up with any answer. I have been thinking it was a nightmare. I wouldn’t like it, neither [if that had been done to a shop I owned].”
    32 Wilton Crescent Belgravia London SW1 murder
    The scene of a murder most horrid on the 19th December 1970 – 32 Wilton Crescent, Belgravia, London, SW1X 8RX. Beyond the then owner Sidney Bernstein (formally titled The Right Honourable The Lord Bernstein of Leigh in the County of Kent, 1899 – 1993), others who have have variously lived or have connections to the likely now worth upwards of £40 million residence have included Gilbert Heathcote, 9th Baronet (in 1941) and a lady named Sarina Abramovich (circa 2015 to 2016). Ms Abramovich was subsequently (in 2021) 432 Park Avenue, New York based and shares a surname with the former Chelsea Football Club owning, one-time Putin supporting billionaire Roman Abramovich, but it is unknown if they are related. A statue of Sir Robert Grosvenor KG stands just opposite 32 Wilton Crescent and others to have lived on this most tony of streets have included the 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, Lord Randolph Churchill, Quentin Crewe, the Grand Duchesss Charlotte of Luxembourgh and Demetri Marchessini.
    Steven Berkoff Granada Television Lord Bernstein
    Essex born and Jewish, Sidney Bernstein, Baron Bernstein was lauded as “the dominant influence on the growth and development of commercial television” by the British Film Institute. Twice married and a father of three, his business interests included amongst other things a circuit of 60 cinemas and theatres, motorway services stations and a hugely profitable television rental business. He was a lifelong friend and partner of Sir Alfred Hitchcock in film production and turned Granada Television into a huge commercial success; he was portrayed by Steven Berkoff in the 2010 BBC one-off drama, ‘The Road to Coronation Street.’
    32 Wilton Crescent Belgravia Mark Heathcote Sarina Abramovich
    Sarina Abramovich is listed as being connected with 32 Wilton Crescent in 2015 and 2016 in documents relating to imports and exports. Whether she has any connection with the property now is unknown and records relating to the building remain shrouded in mystery. The Heathcote family were connected with the house in the 1940s when Mark Heathcote, 10th Baronet was born there in 1941.
  • Ghislaine Maxwell in the 1980s

    Ghislaine Maxwell in the 1980s

    EXCLUSIVE – Kirby Sommers shares another chapter from her latest book ‘Ghislaine Maxwell: An Unauthorized Biography’ with readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ and this time explores the currently incarcerated socialite’s life in London in the 1980s

    Chapter Seven. Ghislaine in the 1980s.

     

    Annabel’s is a private members’ only club in Mayfair located West of London. It was founded in 1963 by Mark Birley then married to Lady Annabel Vane-Tempest-Stewart after whom he named it. Annabel would later marry Sir Jimmy Goldsmith, rumored to be a spy, and who, in the early 1970s became a friend of Jeffrey Epstein’s.

     

    It was the first of its kind – a club for the very affluent, the very powerful or the very famous. Their clientele included the royal family. Charles, Prince of Wales who everyone believed would be King in short order and his younger brother, Prince Andrew. It was the only club that Queen Elizabeth ever attended. In later years it became the go to club for younger royals like Princes William and Harry.

     

    The entrance was lined even from the earliest days with the rich, the powerful and the beautiful where streams of the upper-class descended into the basement to party. Journalists were never admitted and the entertainment included The Rolling Stones, Diana Ross and in earlier days Ella Fitzgerald. Joan Collins was in the club dancing one evening and a photographer from the Sun had managed to get himself into the club. He snapped a photo of her and was immediately plucked off the dance floor by two burly men who left him lying on the pavement outside sans the film in his camera.

     

    Annabel's Berkeley Square entrance

    After tumbling down the stairs into the poshest basement on the planet one is welcome into a den of hedonistic indulgence. The rooms were covered in wild wallpaper along with paintings by Picasso and racy nude drawings. The bathroom sinks were in the shape of golden swans and the walls a sensual floral pink. A life size gorilla sitting on a chair stood guard at the end of the hallway. It was over the top eccentric, but most of all it was posh.

     

    In the 1980s Ghislaine Maxwell was one of the ‘somebodies’ along with her friends from Oxford. As with the debutantes of days long gone Ghislaine would murmur, “Take me to Bel’s” to the man of the moment. And, one of her ‘men’ in the 1980s was David Faber – a future MP. 

     

    Annabel’s was the sort of place where anything went and where “smooching” in one of dozens of its nooks and crannies was as much a part of the experience as kicking off one’s shoes or one’s clothes and losing oneself to the pulsating euphoria of the music on the infamous wooden dancefloor.

     

    David Faber is a descendent of several British politicians. He also happens to be the great-grandson of the founder of MacMillan Publishing.

     

    More tidbits about David include that his uncle, Maurice Macmillan, worked with Sir Edward Heath during the time he was Prime Minister. Heath is alleged to have sexually abused children commencing in 1961. He served for 51 years as a member of Parliament and died in 2005.

     

    It should be noted that MacMillan was taken over by Robert Maxwell in November of 1988 for $2.6 billion. Although Maxwell claimed he had no plans to dispose of the company’s assets, one month later he sold a piece of it, Intertec, to an investment group led by Rothschild, Inc – the same company that served as his adviser in the purchase. Robert S. Pirie the Co-Chairman and CEO of Rothschild North America was his advisor in the transaction. In 1993 Pirie went on to became the Senior Managing Director of Bear Stearns & Co.

     

    I thought it interesting that all the people in the Maxwell world circled around to those in Epstein’s world and so I tracked down an old New York Times article. It states, “Bear Stearns hired Mr. Pirie as a senior managing director. The firm, known primarily for trading, is trying to increase its banking business.”

     

    Below is a photo of David dragging a disheveled and unbalanced 22-year-old Ghislaine while holding up her arm attempting to keep her steady on her feet at Annabel’s.

     

    David Faber and Ghislaine Maxwell in the 1980s

    While Annabel’s always maintained a “no photo” policy banishing any member who breached protocol, nowadays with the advent of social media, their house rule has morphed into: “Photography within the club and posting to social media should be discreet and not involve or feature other members and their guests.”

     

    Ghislaine and David began their romance while both at Balliol College, Oxford University. There is a second photo of Faber with Maxwell at the Chelsea Arts Ball during the club’s extravagant New Year’s Eve party on December 31, 1985. And there were probably many more before all things Maxwell began to get scrubbed off the internet after Jeffrey Epstein’s second arrest on July 6, 2019.

     

    David Faber Ghislaine Maxwell Chelsea Arts Ball

    Ghislaine’s father, Bob, who had already cozied up to the Royal family and was fond of having his photo taken with Prince Charles, Princess Diana and the Queen would have been delighted to know Ghislaine was dancing up a storm and rubbing elbows with the royals. Prince Andrew was also a frequent guest at Annabel’s which is an 8-minute drive to another one of his favorite clubs: Tramp.

     

    Prince Andrew Tramp

    The Chelsea Arts Club is another private members’ club established in 1891. To be considered as a member one needs to be sponsored by two current members. It was known for its hedonism where literally anything was allowed. Nudity, sex, homosexuality at a time when it wasn’t the norm – everything happened behind the ever-changing murals hand-painted by their resident artists.

     

    Chelsea Arts Club

    Ghislaine wasn’t the only woman David romanced. While at Oxford he also dated Sally Gilbert, a leggy blonde, who is said by a contemporary of his to have “pursued him with great determination – he didn’t have a chance.” She became a television weather girl and they married in 1988.

     

    Sally Gilbert

    By 1992 Sally had fallen out of love with David finding him to be lacking in warmth and found herself being comforted by the world’s most celebrated cad, James Hewitt. Faber when filing for divorce cited James Hewitt as co-respondent.

     

    Major Hewitt, it should be noted, was Princess Diana’s riding teacher and in the Household Cavalry when tasked to give her riding lessons. Hewitt, while romancing Farber’s soon to be ex-wife, revealed himself as having a five-year affair with Princess Diana that began in 1986. To avoid getting caught Diana used the codename ‘Julia’ when sending mail to Hewitt.

     

    Hewitt told the world, via a book co-authored with British journalist Anna Pasternak, that he was Princess Diana’s lover in 1994 when she was still married to Prince Charles, the future King of England. Diana was bitterly hurt and devastated when she learned he had shopped around the story of their affair. Although there are claims she continued to see him afterwards up to several months before her untimely death in Paris on August 31, 1997.

     

    Ghislaine Maxwell was not considered a good student during her time at Oxford, not by her professors and not even by herself. She did however earn the nickname “Good Time Ghislaine.” This suited her just fine.

     

    From the awkward looking teenager Ghislaine had grown into an adult. She seemed taller than her height, perhaps because of her heels, or how she carried herself. She was thin with broad shoulders and thick black layered hair. Her complexion was pale and according to people who knew her at the time she had “an intense sexuality, an almost androgynous allure.”

     

    Ghislaine learned to use her sexuality to get what she wanted. And what she wanted the most was to marry a wealthy man. This appeared, however, to be out of reach for the girl who had everything.

     

    Robert Maxwell was fond of saying, “I have a “beautiful daughter who is just like me.”

     

    © Kirby Sommers, 2021.

     

    Author, sex abuse survivor and advocate Kirby Sommers previously exclusively revealed the previously unknown name of the 9-year-old child sat on the lap of Jeffrey Epstein on his private jet to ‘The Steeple Times’ in February. To order her latest book ‘Ghislaine Maxwell: An Unauthorized Biography’ click here.

     

  • A Wetherspoons Washout 2021

    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021

    On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?

    Wetherspoons pub chain owner Tim Martin is a bore, a braggart and an on-off Boris Johnson groupie. This deservedly disliked dimwit is known for ranting in support of Brexit and not allowing European alcohol brands to be served in his venues and in January 2020, the draconian drip even “limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each.” This laughable lunatic even once went as far as to put a stop to champagne on the basis of where it has to be made.

     

    Prior to these decidedly deranged decisions, 66-year-old Martin banned dogs both inside and outside his pubs (on the basis that his workers “are sick of picking up poop”) and then added social media usage to his list of things prohibited across all premises. Here is a man whom claimed to dislike the rules of the EU, but here also is one obsessed with creating ridiculous rules of his own.

     

    Yesterday, when British pubs were finally allowed to reopen after the easing of the third lockdown and patrons flocked to bars to get pissed, the public took rightful revenge on Tim Martin.

     

    Featured in an article by a trainee reporter for Cornwall Live named Edward Church, the Truro branch of the painfully picky chain, a dirty looking dump named Try Dowr, “wasn’t met with a stampede” on reopening and nor did it get “much of a fanfare.”

     

    “By 7.30am, no one had shown up,” commented Church, before adding: “A few passersby seemed tempted… [But] none of them stuck around in chilly, windy Lemon Square for their chance of a cheap pint, and they wandered off to Pannier Market and elsewhere on the square… Time passed, however, and no queue materialised.”

     

    Diddums to Tim Martin and perhaps a warning also: Nobody likes a killjoy and frankly nobody wanted to return to his funless dumps when freedom allowed. Perhaps it’s time for ‘Dim Tim’ to relax his ridiculous rules and turn his pubs back into places people might actually enjoy. Next!

     

    Pictured top: Tim Martin, a man once voted ‘PR Week’s’ “Flop of the Month,” with his on-off Brexiteering bestie Boris Johnson.

     

    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – No shows at Wetherspoons pubs – On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was still empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?
    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – The Try Dowr branch of Wetherspoons is not exactly Britain’s most beautiful boozer, but one would have thought it would have had at least a few loyal customers willing to return to celebrate reopening. Plainly, the impact of tiresome Tim Martin’s ridiculous rules proved to the contrary on ‘Unlockdown Day 2021.’
    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – In July 2020, just before lockdown restrictions were for the first time relaxed, the @SteepleTimes Twitter account shared this clip of “a male and a female are seen staggering up and falling down a staircase whilst, frankly, p***ed out of their skulls” and accompanied it with the caption: “Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow.” It went viral and was liked by nearly 500 people and shared by nearly 200 also.
    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – No shows at Wetherspoons pubs – On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was still empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?
    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ got somewhat worked up about the ‘Cornwall Live’ story. Some strangely actually supported Tim Martin, but the majority expressed sentiments such as: “That’s Wetherspoons for you, the locals are good judges. Actually a piece of half decent journalism from ‘Cornwall Live’ for once.”
    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – No shows at Wetherspoons pubs – On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was still empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?
    A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Another ‘APLIN’ member, Gerard Montgomery, concluded: “It would be nice to think this is people supporting local pubs and remembering how poorly ‘Spoons treated their staff,” whilst one Ian McGowan concluded: “I am waiting for ‘Hull Live’ to run a story of the first post lockdown punch-up in one of the local ‘Spoons. We should not have long to wait.”
  • Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos

    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos

    Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house on New Year’s Day whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple

    “I think if people were all a bit more like Andy, there would be no wars” remarked one Nick Kay on the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ of a story about an Argos sign “taking a tour of Grimsby before ending up attached” to the house of someone named Andy.

     

    Featured in GrimsbyLive on Saturday, the aforementioned sign was taken from the closed down Argos store in Osborne Street in the coastal town – a place where a UKIP candidate dopily named Victoria Ayling asked a council meeting: “What happens when renewable energy runs out?” in 2015 – on New Year’s Day.

     

    According to the paper’s Gregory Ford, a journalist with plainly a hell of a lot of other subject matter to sift through as he moves into 2021, “[the sign] first took a stop at the town hall a few yards away” and appeared the next day “at an address in West Marsh where it appeared to have been attached to the side of a house.”

     

    Ford – a man who makes Miss Marple looks like an amateur – continued:

     

    GrimsbyLive finally caught up with the wandering logo at around 1pm where it was found still attached to the side of a property on Haycroft Street near the junction with Lord Street.”

     

    Speaking to the “resident at the property,” a man whose surname he neglected to include named ‘Andy’ subsequently, Ford gained the following surprisingly witty comment:

     

    “I think someone has put it here as a bit of a joke, we have some banter with the neighbours, one of my friends sent me a video of someone attaching it to the house last night.”

     

    “I’ve got no idea how they got it down or if they were even the ones that took it off the wall in the first place to be honest.”

     

    “I’m keeping it up though I think, it is a bit funny isn’t it? I might just treat it as a bit of a late Christmas present, I’ll have to set up my own click and collect.”

     

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    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos – Argos sign on Grimsby house – Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple. Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers, GrimsbyLive.
    Predictably members of the Facebook ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ had fun with the story with one declaring: “Bet Visit Grimsby are pissing themselves over this free advertising.”
    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos – Argos sign on Grimsby house – Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple. Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers, GrimsbyLive.
    Another added: “They’ll put a pick-up point anywhere these days” whilst another mocked: “I saw Argos tour in the 80s, before they sold out.”
    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos – Argos sign on Grimsby house – Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple. Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers, GrimsbyLive.
    Andy from Argos’ sign is about its only highlight – Grimsby (a grim town whose residents are nicknamed ‘Grimbarians’) is the place Theresa May chose to give her final speech prior to the final vote on her ultimately rejected Brexit deal in 2019 in a hangar for housing life vests (rather appropriately); ditch loving murderess Jane Andrews (pictured with her former boss Sarah Ferguson) grew up in Grimsby and as of November was a Morrisons shelf-stacker in the town; chancellor “best known for singing in the bathtub as the economy collapsed” Norman Lamont was brought up there too and in 1974, Sir Elton even decided to sing about the accursed place. Now, in 2021, it doesn’t even have an Argos.
    Whilst Elton John waxed lyrical about Grimsby in his song – with lines including “there’s nothing to compare with my Grimsby,” “Grimsby, oh, a thousand delights” and “I miss your magic charm” – one visitor remarked of it: “The place just stinks of fish.”
    In August 2020, Argos announced it would no longer be printing paper copies of its catalogue. ITV1’s ‘This Morning’ responded by interviewing a retail studies expert named Professor Leigh Sparks who’d collected every single copy since 1973. He remarked: “It was a book of dreams in many ways. What a record of consumer tastes they were” whilst Eamonn Holmes intelligently chirped: “They can show you every stage of your life.”
    “It’s So Easy” was Argos’ strapline in advertising campaigns in the 1980s. No doubt, ‘Andy’ won’t share such sentiments when he’s bashed his head against the sign after a night out on the razzle dazzle.
  • Carrie, Cummings & Calamity

    Carrie, Cummings & Calamity

    Matthew Steeples condemns Boris Johnson’s puppet masters for leading him down a path that will bring calamity to our economy in 2021

    Unelected decision makers Carrie Symonds and Dominic Cummings ought to go down in history as the architects of the impending disaster zone that should henceforth be simply known as ‘Bankrupt Britain.’

     

    Whilst many might pin the blame for this calamity on a rudderless government, it would actually be untrue to suggest that Boris Johnson is anything other than a plaything of his two aforementioned modern-day slavers. Incapable of deciding anything other than to opt for red or white wine for his latest baby mama to chuck at him, ‘Bosie The Clown’ has morphed from a figure of a fun into a foaming, fumbling fool.

     

    Aside from Matt ‘HanCockup’ pathetically blubbing on the telly box and failing to look human, here in this government we actually have a bunch of nincompoops incapable of understanding the savage impending financial woes of those that put it in office face as we move in 2021.

     

    Whilst elected with the help of the demolition of the ‘Red Wall’ Brexit supporting north, this Tory government came to power promising an ‘oven ready’ solution to our exit from the European Union. Instead, it’s presided over a pandemic it hasn’t had a clue how to handle and now faces gridlock at lorry parks with lavatories named after Nigel Farage in Kent.

     

    In locking up Greater London’s businesses just as they had begun to make a little money prior to Christmas, yet again comes another body blow to the economy that frankly just illustrates that this ship of fools shouldn’t even be in charge of a bus ticket. Shame on them and shame on our lily-livered Prime Minister for hiding behind the coattails of ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ and her cronies. It is time for Boris Johnson to man up and put the calamity of Carrie back in her puppeteers’ cupboard. Of course, we all know the sad truth: Instead, he’ll sadly just bumble into yet more doom and damage in 2021; God help us all.

     

    Pictured top: Carrie Symonds behaves as if she is the one actually in charge. Sadly, she seems to be morphing into such in spite of her frightful fiancée actually being the one whose government is meant to be running once Great Britain.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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  • Elvis & Epstein’s ‘Dictator Car’

    Elvis & Epstein’s ‘Dictator Car’

    1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction

    ‘Taking Care of Business’ was said to be “Elvis Presley’s business motto and working philosophy.” Now, someone with deep pockets can buy the ‘King’s’ 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan emblazoned with ‘TCB’ on its side that is being auctioned for charity this December.

     

    Said to be one of over 200 cars that the Blue Suede Shoes, Hound Dog and Jailhouse Rock singer owned and mostly gave away as gifts, the short-wheelbase limousine was purchased by him on 14th December 1970 at Mercedes-Benz of Hollywood on Sunset Boulevard for $15,000 (or the equivalent of £75,300, $100,600, €82,900 or درهم369,500 today).

     

    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    Elvis and Priscilla Presley in the car.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    And pictured standing next to it.

    Presley reportedly used the 6.3-litre engine vehicle until the mid-1970s and then gave it to his vocalist friend Jimmy Velvet – who was later to become the operator of an Elvis memorabilia museum. Later sold on to the CEO of Dollar General and “refreshed” in the 1990s, a businessman turned philanthropist named Gene Epstein bought the ‘Dictator Car’ in 2002 after seeing it at the Amelia Island Concours.

     

    Finished in silver and featuring a black leather with dark grey carpets and ‘zebrawood accents’ interior, the automatic car has privacy curtains, separate front and rear heating and air conditioning controls and a refrigerated console between the front seats. It has covered 60,500 miles and is being promoted as being in need of a new owner “with a big enough personality to pull it off.”

     

    Of why he is selling the limousine – which comes with an array of Elvis Presley related memorabilia and paperwork – Gene Epstein (whom has no known connection to the late monster Jeffrey Epstein) commented:

     

    “We feel that after owning and enjoying ‘Elvis’ for nearly 20 years it is time to say goodbye for the better need. Especially since Covid has shut down just about every event that we have planned.”

     

    “Giving this car to our charity was a major decision that I’ve been advised against by my accountant who simply looks at the bottom line after taxes. I know that I exceed any tax benefit but how in the world can any of us enjoy life while seeing other people suffering?”

     

    “The lightning bolt on Elvis is TCB could very well have been on mine. There’s not enough time in the day to do the best for everybody every day but we have to keep trying.”

     

    “Elvis’s Mercedes is one hell of an automobile. And fun to drive… I hope it brings a world record price.”

     

    In September 2019, a 1966 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan The Steeple Times featured that had belonged to Nubar Gulbenkian sold for £310,900 ($415,000, €342,500 or درهم1.5 million). That car admittedly was undoubtedly a one-off in that its eccentric owner had changed the rear seats to a double bed and added a full glass roof, but by comparison the current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800) on the ex-Elvis ‘ride’ makes it seem cheap at a sum 48.4% lower.

     

    Bring A Trailer’s online auction for this It’s Now or Never of a limousine concludes on the 18th December.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    The black leather to the rear passenger seating is original yet in good condition.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    There is some wear and tear to the front seating, however.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    The car is emblazoned with ‘TCB’ on its front doors and also comes with an example of Elvis Presley’s ‘TCB’ stationery and some shot glasses marked ‘TCB’ also.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    Amongst other memorabilia with the car are original documents, cuttings and an Elvis Presley bust.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    The original bill of sale from Mercedes-Benz of Hollywood.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    From the front.
    Elvis & Epstein’s Dictator Car – Ex-Elvis Presley Mercedes 600 to be sold – 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction –1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan, chassis number 10001212001321, originally owned by Elvis Presley and gifted to Jimmy Velvet in the mid-1970s – To be sold by Bring A Trailer on Friday 18th December 2020 at 7.05pm – Current bid of £160,400 ($214,500, €177,000 or درهم787,800).
    And from the rear.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=rYCxTiEdvoc&feature=emb_logo
    A video of the car to be offered.
    The car to be sold arriving at Gene Epstein’s 75th birthday party in July 2014.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex0XUS6ppas
    Another Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan owned by Elvis Presley was sold by Bonhams in December 2010 in the UK.
    Elvis Presley originally recorded ‘Long Black Limousine’ in January 1969.

  • A Life in a Sentence

    A Life in a Sentence

    Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles

    Last Friday, in anticipation of the drunken mess that would become ‘Super Saturday’ in premises of J. D. Wetherspoons across the land, I shared a Twitter video embed on the @SteepleTimes handle that did not surprise when it went viral.

     

    In the tweet – which I captioned: “Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow” in honour of the pub chain where the odious Tim Martin regularly entertains our hapless Prime Minister Boris Johnson – a male and a female are seen staggering up and falling down a staircase whilst, frankly, p***ed out of their skulls.

     

    The original tweet I shared came from one Keptin Quarantino and was accompanied by a description that read: “The pubs officially reopen tomorrow in England. We can class today as P***MASS EVE. I imagine many of you will relate to this video be it in Wetherspoons or somewhere else. Have fun, W**kspangles.” Whilst the 1:24-minute clip itself was indeed hilarious, what amused even more was to be found amongst the legion of replies and likes that came henceforth.

     

    Aside from a witty comment suggesting that “a Remoaner pushed him” of the unfortunate male member of the drunken pair, I actually wholeheartedly enjoyed the Twitter handles of those that responded even more. The very best follow below.

     

    Twitter might be a medium that attracts trolls, but unlike with the vain and the vacuous that pepper spray Instagram with their shameless selves ‘swerving’ for the camera, here is somewhere you’ll find some simple amusement: Take a look through peoples’ profiles and you’ll discover there’s more to an individual than just a life in a sentence.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    A Life in a Sentence – Twitter handles summing up lives – Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.
    A Life in a Sentence – SophiaS – @whatalovelypair – “As my dear old East End mum says: ‘She’s all fur coat and no knickers…’”
    A Life in a Sentence – Twitter handles summing up lives – Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.
    A Life in a Sentence – Stephen Johnson – @SteJHindley – “Miserable sod that likes rugby. I drink too much and am lazy. Life coaching available.”
    A Life in a Sentence – Twitter handles summing up lives – Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.
    A Life in a Sentence – Pat Hetic – @Mr_Pat_Hetic – “Too lazy to achieve my full potential so now working as a village idiot near Chesterfield.”
    A Life in a Sentence – Twitter handles summing up lives – Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.
    A Life in a Sentence – Ceri Williams – @Cezzawilliams21 – “All my views are my own (and I have quite a few!)”
    A Life in a Sentence – Twitter handles summing up lives – Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.
    A Life in a Sentence – Graham Greenwood – @graham669 – “Lover of classic cars and a life long nudist.”
    A Life in a Sentence – Twitter handles summing up lives – Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.
    A Life in a Sentence – Dave Lee – @168dave – “Never been particularly politically motivated, but the shower of sh*t led by Bozo The F**king Clown have managed to change that!!”
  • Elevating Count Binface

    Elevating Count Binface

    Poll of 500 Twitter users backs the building of a statue in honour of Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead)

    Yesterday, The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples decided to conduct a poll on Twitter. He jokingly asked: “Would you support the erection of a statue of Count Binface?”

     

    He post-fixed: “He’s surely not offended anyone (other than Boris Johnson and Theresa May).”

     

    The response, thus far, has been phenomenal and at a time when people have been attacking statues of Christopher Columbus, Sir Winston Churchill and Queen Victoria, we perhaps need to ignore Janet Street-Porter’s miserable demand to “junk the lot” and get something erected that celebrates a bit of fun.

     

    Of the 495 votes cast (with 4 hours still to go) in the completely unscientific poll, 94.7% of respondents are currently supporting “Yes – Get him elevated” whilst only 3.2% are of the view “No – He’s off his trolley.” Just 2% haven’t got a clue who Count Binface actually is.

     

    Whilst a legal dispute with the plainly joyless Gremloids creator Todd Durham resulted in the “displacement” of Lord Buckethead – who had stood in four British general elections from 1987 onwards – the political satirist Jon Harvey announced his replacement, Count Binface, to the world on 12th December 2018. He describes the character on Twitter as an “Intergalactic politician and ex-Lord Buckethead,” has a following of 17,600 and was standing in the London mayoral elections until the coronavirus pandemic kicked in.

     

    The Count is good; let’s get him elevated.

     

    Pictured top: Count Binface with a slightly perplexed Boris Johnson.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Elevating Count Binface – Poll backs statue of Count Binface – Poll of 500 Twitter users backs the erection of a statue in honour of Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead).
    The “replacement” Lord Buckethead (played by David Hughes) with Count Binface behind him during the 2019 general election campaign; Jon Harvey as Lord Buckethead on the night of the 2017 General Election at Maidenhead.
    Elevating Count Binface – Poll backs statue of Count Binface – Poll of 500 Twitter users backs the erection of a statue in honour of Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead).
    The Twitter poll had attracted nearly 500 votes as of 10am GMT on Thursday 11th June 2020.
    Elevating Count Binface – Poll backs statue of Count Binface – Poll of 500 Twitter users backs the erection of a statue in honour of Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead).
    Lord Buckethead (comedian Jon Harvey) on John Oliver’s HBO talk show Last Week with John Oliver in May 2017. He also appeared at the Glastonbury Festival in June that year and even made a video with the all-round oddity Ben Fogle at one point too.
    Elevating Count Binface – Poll backs statue of Count Binface – Poll of 500 Twitter users backs the erection of a statue in honour of Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead).
    Lord Buckethead with Theresa May in May 2017. He registered 249 votes and that Christmas made a charming YouTube video sharing a message of peace and goodwill. Sadly, that subsequently had to be deleted due to Todd Durham’s legal actions.
  • Hero of the Hour – Jamie Osborne

    Hero of the Hour – Jamie Osborne

    Queen Mother’s favourite champion jockey turned trainer turns the ‘Valley of the Racehorse’ that is Lambourn alive with the sound of music and viral videos during COVID-19

    Racehorse trainer Jamie Osborne’s website includes the amusing disclaimer: “Jamie is always keen to hear from new clients but please do not contact us if you are a bad loser, slow payer or looking for gambling information.” Now, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, he’s taken his humour online and it has gone viral.

     

    When he came to realise that “part of [his] job isn’t there” because of the lockdown, Lambourn Valley, Berkshire based Osborne – whom describes himself as an “overrated jockey, underrated trainer [and] Spielberg wannabe” to his nigh on 40,000 followers on Twitter – began filming amusing skits with his staff and posting them to his social media accounts.

     

    Amongst the “daft and unorthodox things” Osborne and his staff have filmed thus far are Riverdance style Irish dancing in the yard and jockeys singing Clean Bandit’s Rather Be and Randy Newman’s You’ve Got a Friend in Me to the horses and of this morale boosting exercise, speaking to The Telegraph on Saturday, he remarked:

     

    “It’s been a good exercise in keeping up yard spirit. Even if we didn’t put them out on Twitter and just shared them around among ourselves. They see it, a few more wanted to be in them, and now everyone enjoys making them.”

     

    “I have 30 staff turn up every day and the rewards that they normally get are not there, so the making of films… has created a lot of fun and also shows what great riders they are.”

     

    We urge our readers to join the ranks of the 50,000 people viewing these uplifting videos each day. As Osborne himself previously told Horse Racing Planet: “[They’re perfect for people who] want to have a laugh… I am sure none of us expected to live through a scenario like this. Everybody has their own set of worries but if we can lighten the load in a small way then it’s kind of worthwhile.”

     

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  • Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is not known for being the most involved of hosts. On TripAdvisor, whilst one grumbler pointed out that his attitude to diners is: “If you want to eat, bring your own food… Or use the kitchen yourself,” Devon Live noted in February 2020 that Prince Harry and Damien Hirst are “fans” of the “off-grid,” Fawlty Towers-esque The Poltimore Arms in South Molton, Devon. The pub has no website, no television, no Wi-Fi, no fruit machines and no telephones and is powered by solar panels, but for lovers of craft ales and locally produced spirits, a woman going by the name ‘The Real Ale Girl’ operates a “secret weapon… emporium” selling such in a back room.

    Summing up his refreshingly no-nonsense approach to running his business, Steve Cotten once commented: “I just make it up as I go along.  I might not know how to run a pub but I know what’s wrong with every pub I’ve ever been in. There’s no landlord anywhere, nobody talks to each other.  I involve the whole community – everyone knows it’s not my pub, it’s everybody’s pub… We are a dark and cold and miserable boozer – and that’s what people like about it… They all know you can do what you want here, use it for what you want, come here on your own at any time of the day or night and help yourself to a tea or coffee. Everybody will talk to everybody… You can discuss any topic under the sun here, nothing is taboo… Everyone has a go serving behind the bar, we all have a laugh and everyone joins in… No one else talks to them like crap like I do.

    Frankly, one is simply left asking: “Why aren’t there more places like this?” Cheers to Steve Cotten.