Saturday, October 31, 2020
Tags COVID-19

Tag: COVID-19

A Right Royal Read

Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea waste a fortune sending a glossy ‘magazine’ to 92,000 people about a survey with a 0.32% response rate; the rag also contains patronising snippets about barbecues, black people and businesses.

Firing Up A 20th Century Limo

‘Stretched’ 1994 Toyota Century for sale for less than the price of a brand new Ford Fiesta; the rammed full of gadgets limousine comes with a food heating compartment and privacy curtains favoured by notoriously shy Japanese people even.

A Life in a Sentence

Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.

Will Ghislaine Maxwell Motor On?

As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021.

Bow Wine Vaults Back

Acclaimed restaurateur Philip Lawless to reopen Square Mile institution and haunt of city financiers the Bow Wine Vaults on Monday.

E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.

Hero of the Hour – Lenin Gutierrez

After standing up to a woman named Amber Lynn Gilles who berated him whilst doing his job, Starbucks barista Lenin Gutierrez is going to use the unexpected donation ‘tips’ he received to help others.

Hapless Hancock gets a Right Royal Brenda-ering

Restaurant critic Tom Parker-Bowles does a ‘Brenda from Bristol’ in suggesting Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s telly box appearances “drive him mad” whilst chatting to William Sitwell on his Instagram TV show ‘Biting Talk’

The Art of Ownership – Glebe Place, Pugachev, Sickert & Tolstoy

Double artist’s studio in Glebe Place, Chelsea that has been home to a fugitive billionaire oligarch, a Tolstoy and a man suspected of being Jack the Ripper slashed in price by 25%; it is now subject to a forced sale.

Runners & Riders – Gold Cup Day at ‘Royal Ascot At Home’

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp Gold Cup Day at ‘Royal Ascot At Home’ – very much a day to stay indoors and watch Stradivarius, Frankie Dettori and Sir John Gosden.
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Word of the Week – Coronacoaster

As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions.

Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke

Dirty Dawn strikes again – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.

Bog Off Bungling Boris

Matthew Steeples suggests now is time for bungling Boris Johnson to quit; he is not in control and he has no coordinated plan for Brexit or coronavirus.

A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke...