Tag: business

A Sticker Not A Solution

Nikolay Kalinin calls out Grant Shapps’ decision to replace ‘GB’ car stickers with ‘UK’ ones as utterly ludicrous

There are so many things that Conservative MPs could focus on right now.

They could work on reviving British business – if they truly care about Brexit – or strengthening links between the different regions in order to prevent them from declaring independence, but instead they decided to instead obsess about car stickers. Yes, you heard it right, car stickers.

Transport secretary Grant Shapps recently announced that production of traditional ‘GB‘ motifs used by British drivers abroad will be discontinued in favour of a legal emblem stating ‘UK.’ Their reasoning? The Daily Mail reports it is being done “as an attempt to win over unionists amid heightened tensions over post-Brexit border checks” and in order to “send a clear message about Northern Ireland’s place in the United Kingdom.” Exactly how the new rule will “win over unionists,” however, was not explained by the minister.

Tory MP Ian Liddell-Grainger responded to the announcement by stating: “I can’t see the point. It seems to me to be a complete waste of money when we don’t need to be wasting money. It also seems to be a slap in the face for people who are proud to be GB.”

However, another Tory MP told the Mail: “The United Kingdom is stronger because it has the link with Northern Ireland because if you say Great Britain you are excluding Northern Ireland. I think it strengthen the ties at a time when we have got a problem.”

If the transport secretary really cared about “including” Northern Ireland within the country, he would by this point get on with the construction of a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland that Boris Johnson pledged to build a few months ago, which would benefit national trade and establish an easier connection between Northern Ireland and the rest of UK.

Policy like this affirms what many online satirists and journalists have been saying: The Conservatives care about anything but the people they’re supposed to represent. Instead of passing legislation designed to help people, they introduce initiatives that are either pointless, such as One Britain One Nation Day, or do things that make life worse for people, for example by not closing the country in time when the Delta variant began to spread.

COVID has exposed even more how these people absolutely don’t care about the public’s wellbeing, because while Boris Johnson has pledged to remove the rule of compulsory mask-wearing in shops and public transport, a recent poll by YouGov has concluded that 71% of people in England, Wales and Scotland want mask-wearing to be compulsory after July 19th, with 66% saying that the rules should remain in shops and enclosed public spaces.

If you need more evidence, just look at the Conservatives trying to suppress the right to protest with the Policing and Crime Bill, which Labour proposed to amend by introducing a minimum sentence for rape. Unsurprisingly, the Conservatives voted against the amendment. They don’t care about the people who suffered violence in their households during lockdown, because as Labour MP Angela Rayner stated, the Conservatives are “more interested in protecting statues than protecting women.”

The Conservatives need to realise that even though they have a 363-seat majority, that does not grant them immunity from public scrutiny and accountability. They still have a job of representing the people, and it’s about time that they started doing that, instead of passing laws that are unnecessary and pointless.

Pictured top: Aside from being “beguiled” by the e-scooter lobby, as we reported on Sunday, Grant Shapps is now set to inflict his plain personal obsession with ‘UK’ stickers over ‘GB’ stickers on the British public.

Shapps’ decision has been ridiculed on all sides of the political divide. It will not only anger Brexiteers, but also those whose loyalties still are to the European Union.

Of the move, Ian Liddell-Grainger MP remarked: “That is a bit bloody rum. I can’t see the point. It seems to me to be a complete waste of money when we don’t need to be wasting money. It also seems to be a slap in the face for people who are proud to be GB. It is a waste of time, a waste of money. I don’t know why we are bothering.” Going further, ‘The Sun’ added: “The AA described the move, which was settled on in May but not announced, leaving them feeling left ‘in the lurch’ as stocks of some 50,000 ‘GB’ motifs are now completely worthless.”

Previous advice, such as shown in this video shared on YouTube in February, is now out of date. Those that don’t follow the new rules, ‘The Sun’ concludes: “It will be a legal requirement to slap the ‘UK’ one on your car, and rule flouters could face fines. These will be down to the individual countries.”

July 7, 2021
Dim Martin

Nikolay Kalinin mocks Brexiteer and founder of Wetherspoons Tim Martin for now wanting EU migrant workers; he relabels the champagne, social media and dog hater ‘Dim Martin’

Bumbling Brexiteer Tim Martin is genuinely suffering from “oh no, I really have binned it” syndrome. Yesterday, the JD Wetherspoons founder – who back in 2018 banned champagne and replaced it with sparkling wine from Britain and Australia – contradicted himself and demanded government schemes to make it easier for EU migrants to return to boost the UK economy by working for him.

In comments circulated widely, the businessman asked Boris Johnson to establish a more “reasonably liberal immigration system” that would see the introduction of a visa scheme for EU workers, as pubs and restaurants struggle to find sufficient workers post-pandemic.

Speaking to the Telegraph, the pub chain boss stated that such a proposal would be beneficial for the UK because of its “low birth rate” and attempted to justify his proposal by saying: “America, Australia and Singapore have benefitted for many decades from this approach. Immigration combined with democracy works.”

Over the past year, Wetherspoons has seen its number of workers drop by 6,000 to 38,000, meaning that those workers must have taken Martin’s advice of April of last year and gone to work at Tesco’s instead.

Unsurprisingly, this complete lunatic’s comments sparked outrage on social media for their blatant hypocrisy, with then Mirror’s Kevin Maguire calling him a “prat” for “demanding more migration from Europe under a “reasonably liberal” system after he whipped up anti-EU prejudice, fuelling myths and banning European booze.”

Meanwhile, the official account of Have I Got News For You tweeted: “Tim Martin calls for more EU migration to staff bars, after Brexit causes 90% downturn in irony and self-awareness.”

What we are seeing here is Brexit reality dawning over the very people who once supported it. It turns out that we are not living in a paradise and we have not taken back control of our borders, as evidenced by how ‘Priti “Awful’ Patel’s plans to catch illegal migrants have been rejected by the French.

Tim Martin was interviewed by Owen Jones in January 2019. “Which of them is more loathsome?” is the question that most would ask of this awful pair of pillocks.

In January last year, Wetherspoons draconianly limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each. In response, Rupert Murray pointed out in ‘The Telegraph’ yesterday: “Here’s a new business idea for you: hanging around in Wetherspoons loos selling moonshine to thirsty parents. Thirsty parents who have already downed their allotted two pints. They’ve probably smashed their glasses over a nearby skull and trashed the joint. Mothers and fathers are, after all, Begbie from ‘Trainspotting’ in sheep’s clothing. This is the only possible explanation for why Wetherspoons has banned anyone looking after children from being served anything more than a brace of beverages.”

Tim Martin is the personification of a stupid, hypocrite argues Nikolay Kalinin. Pictured here with Boris Johnson, ‘The Steeple Times’ has previously condemned him for banning dogs both inside and outside his pubs, for his ban on social media in his premises and for banning champagne and other European booze also. He is nothing but an utter nutter!

June 3, 2021
The Boat Britain Didn’t Ask For (Or Need)

Nikolay Kalinin joins those condemning Boris Johnson’s decision to waste £200 million on a boat Britain didn’t ask for (or need)

Remember when Eurosceptics pledged Brexit would enable the government to give £350 million per week ($496 million, €406 million or درهم1.8 billion per week) to the NHS? Well, now we finally know where that money is actually going as the government has officially decided to waste some of it commissioning a vanity ship they claim will showcase the “best of British.”

The £200 million ($284 million, €232 million or درهم1 billion) gin palace – which was to be named after the late Duke of Edinburgh though even the royal family have supposedly raised objections to such as they don’t think an association with it will do them any favours – is set to be the successor to the Royal Yacht Britannia, which was retired in 1997. Boris Johnson has stated that the vessel will “represent and promote the best of British – a clear and powerful symbol of our commitment to be an active player on the world stage.”

Yet, one cannot ignore that this project seems so pointless and unnecessarily expensive, a fact that has been called out by figures in Parliament. When asked about the diplomatic benefits of “recommissioning HM Yacht Britannia” by Conservative MP for Romford, Andrew Rosindell, President for COP26, Alok Sharma, admitted: “The royal yacht was used on just 37 occasions for… signing trade deals during 1989 – 1997. There’s no evidence that the yacht made a difference to the trade deals secured in these years and this level of use would not represent a good return on investment.”

The Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Bridget Phillipson, also seemed to agree, stating: “We want to see public money used for targeted investment in a green economic recovery, resources for our NHS, and supporting families to succeed.”

She added that if the government does go ahead with the plan to build the yacht: “We’d want to see it built in Britain, supporting jobs and skills in shipyards here, and with a real focus on value for money at every stage.”

What we are seeing here once again is the government misappropriating taxpayers’ money in order to reinforce the fake vision of muscular unionism. The government is trying to reinforce a vision of a united Britain and ‘Britishness’ not through progressive deeds that reflect ‘British values,’ but through objects such as yachts named after recognisable things.

It’s not only the costly yacht however that reflects the idea that ‘muscular unionism’ is so empty, as some time ago an autonomous company launched trials of a self-driving bus in Cambridge, which was draped in the Union Jack.

Comedian Jonathan Pie reacted to the news by calling the bus “the perfect visual metaphor for a country in the grips of such inept and directionless leadership,” while Lord Andrew Adonis mockingly wrote that it “looks like a Brexit bus.”

While I like flags as much as the next man, the fact that ‘BoJo’ seems hellbent on putting them up everywhere demonstrates that his government has nothing much to offer. If Johnson really wants to unite the people of his country, he should work on fixing the rift between his government and Scotland and solve the problems Northern Ireland is facing as a result of Brexit.

The Queen’s love of the Royal Yacht Britannia was never a secret, but even she’s said to believe the decision to order a replacement to be quite beyond unrequired. Meanwhile, the most enthusiastic tin banger for the expensive tub has been Christopher Hope of ‘The Telegraph.’ He has run the paper’s campaign for the vessel since September 2016 and written three dozen articles in support of what he believes to be “putting right [the] historical wrong” of not having a royal yacht.

June 1, 2021
A Wetherspoons Washout 2021

On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?

Wetherspoons pub chain owner Tim Martin is a bore, a braggart and an on-off Boris Johnson groupie. This deservedly disliked dimwit is known for ranting in support of Brexit and not allowing European alcohol brands to be served in his venues and in January 2020, the draconian drip even “limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each.” This laughable lunatic even once went as far as to put a stop to champagne on the basis of where it has to be made.

Prior to these decidedly deranged decisions, 66-year-old Martin banned dogs both inside and outside his pubs (on the basis that his workers “are sick of picking up poop”) and then added social media usage to his list of things prohibited across all premises. Here is a man whom claimed to dislike the rules of the EU, but here also is one obsessed with creating ridiculous rules of his own.

Yesterday, when British pubs were finally allowed to reopen after the easing of the third lockdown and patrons flocked to bars to get pissed, the public took rightful revenge on Tim Martin.

Featured in an article by a trainee reporter for Cornwall Live named Edward Church, the Truro branch of the painfully picky chain, a dirty looking dump named Try Dowr, “wasn’t met with a stampede” on reopening and nor did it get “much of a fanfare.”

“By 7.30am, no one had shown up,” commented Church, before adding: “A few passersby seemed tempted… [But] none of them stuck around in chilly, windy Lemon Square for their chance of a cheap pint, and they wandered off to Pannier Market and elsewhere on the square… Time passed, however, and no queue materialised.”

Diddums to Tim Martin and perhaps a warning also: Nobody likes a killjoy and frankly nobody wanted to return to his funless dumps when freedom allowed. Perhaps it’s time for ‘Dim Tim’ to relax his ridiculous rules and turn his pubs back into places people might actually enjoy. Next!

Pictured top: Tim Martin, a man once voted ‘PR Week’s’ “Flop of the Month,” with his on-off Brexiteering bestie Boris Johnson.

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – The Try Dowr branch of Wetherspoons is not exactly Britain’s most beautiful boozer, but one would have thought it would have had at least a few loyal customers willing to return to celebrate reopening. Plainly, the impact of tiresome Tim Martin’s ridiculous rules proved to the contrary on ‘Unlockdown Day 2021.’

Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow. https://t.co/hY7vS3vCxL
— The Steeple Times (@SteepleTimes) July 3, 2020

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – In July 2020, just before lockdown restrictions were for the first time relaxed, the @SteepleTimes Twitter account shared this clip of “a male and a female are seen staggering up and falling down a staircase whilst, frankly, p***ed out of their skulls” and accompanied it with the caption: “Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow.” It went viral and was liked by nearly 500 people and shared by nearly 200 also.

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ got somewhat worked up about the ‘Cornwall Live’ story. Some strangely actually supported Tim Martin, but the majority expressed sentiments such as: “That’s Wetherspoons for you, the locals are good judges. Actually a piece of half decent journalism from ‘Cornwall Live’ for once.”

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Another ‘APLIN’ member, Gerard Montgomery, concluded: “It would be nice to think this is people supporting local pubs and remembering how poorly ‘Spoons treated their staff,” whilst one Ian McGowan concluded: “I am waiting for ‘Hull Live’ to run a story of the first post lockdown punch-up in one of the local ‘Spoons. We should not have long to wait.”

May 18, 2021
A Boat For Brenda

As decidedly dippy Dame Esther Rantzen calls for tyrannical twerp Sir Philip Green to hand over his behemoth boat to the Queen, we suggest Sir James Dyson or Sir Charles Dunstone’s gin palaces as other options that could be commandeered

This morning on Radio 4’s Broadcasting House, Dame Esther Rantzen, for once in her somewhat curious career, made a valid suggestion when discussing the current hullabaloo over whether or not the nation should spend £200 million on a new royal yacht.

Commenting to the programme’s Paddy O’Connell of a “pomp and ceremony” focused proposal that the Conservatives are plainly using to wind up Labour, Dame Esther remarked:

“This is to me a crazy idea at a time when our economy has been obviously dealt something of a death blow by COVID, when we have no plans for social care, when food banks are thriving. Do we really think that the taxpayer, let alone the royal family, want £200 million spent on a royal yacht?”

“I think it’s an example of a newspaper starting a campaign which is so out of touch. However, perhaps, I have the solution: Sir Philip Green, do you remember him? He has a knighthood – which some people have questioned. He lives in Monaco, where there’s plenty of other people with yachts. Why doesn’t he donate his boat to the royal family?”

“If he’s got monograms with the words ‘Philip’ on it, that would be suitable for those who feel that the yacht should be named after Philip, Duke of Edinburgh… Prince Philip, you could just add a few, a few, you know…”

Equally, given the late NCP car park tycoon Sir Donald Gosling left £50 million in his will towards a replacement for the Royal Yacht Britannia, we suggest some potentially cheaper boating options to Sir Philip Green’s £100 million gin palace below that could also be commandeered.

Pictured top: The late Sir Donald Gosling’s former yacht Leander and its owner with the Queen and her late husband in 2012.

Option 1 – Sir Philip Green’s ‘Lionheart’

Pros – The disgraced businessman’s gin palace is definitely big at 295-foot and can accommodate 12 guests with a crew of 30. It’d probably also appeal to ‘Randy Andy’ given his liking for living it large and there is plenty of space on the boat’s deck for the ‘Duchess of Dork’ to engage in a bit of toe sucking as well.

Cons – This boat’s décor would likely be considered a bit ‘lowbrow’ by the Queen given “Call Me Lady Tina” – the rotten retailer’s wife – is known more for brass than class. The tacky tub might need a bit of a clean also as in September 2020, the vessel was impounded in Monaco due to two of its staff contracting coronavirus.

Option 2 – Sir James Dyson’s ‘Nahlin’

Pros – Given all the breaks billionaire Sir James Dyson and his carpet designer wife ‘Lady Deirdre’ have been given by Boris Johnson in spite of disgracefully relocating their operations abroad, you’d think they might want to give something back and hand over their boat.

As was reported in the Guardian yesterday, this steam yacht has also been subject to a £25 million restoration and has ‘previous royal form’ in that it housed the then King Edward VIII and Mrs Wallis Simpson just prior to the 1936 abdication crisis. Perhaps that might attract that devious duo’s modern day equivalents, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, onboard for peace talks.

Cons – The Queen could find herself like the majority of the population, who’ve wasted money on his frankly mostly useless products, a little frustrated with the vessel’s hypocritical Brexiteer owner and we don’t think she’d like ‘Dreary Deirdre’s’ appalling rug designs either.

Option 3 – Sir Charles Dunstone’s ‘Shemara’

Pros – The 210-foot motor yacht Shemara is a favourite of all at The Steeple Times. Built by Sir Bernard Docker at the behest of his brilliantly batty wife, ‘Lady Nora,’ in 1938, this vessel has played host to everyone from King Farouk of Egypt to coalminers.

Cons – If the Queen took over this boat, she might find herself a little beholden to the ‘Chipping Norton set’ given Sir Charles Dunstone is considered one of that group’s most illustrious members. Conversations with Rebekah Brooks about her thoughts on her wayward grandchild and his money grabbing wife might not prove easy, but Jeremy Clarkson could break the ice with a drink or five.

May 16, 2021
The Plotless Pillock Prince

Matthew Steeples suggests decidedly dim Prince Harry has well and truly lost the plot; he should heed the words of the equally ‘woke’ wally Lily Allen and finally “wind his neck in”

The Duke of Sussex always seemed a sandwich short of a picnic, but now, with his latest attack on his birth family, he’s well and truly shown he’s utterly lost the plot and turned into nothing but a pompous pillock content only with satisfying his money and fame hungry wife.

Preaching from their capacious Californian mansion complete with 16 bathrooms, this out-of-touch with ordinary folk wazzock and his acerbically annoying dollar demanding Duchess annoy utterly everybody. Is there nobody that they just don’t have a desire to piss off? It doesn’t matter if you are pro or anti the monarchy, it’s just impossible to like this laughable pair of loons and their whingeing ways.

Now, aside from attracting the likes of Sarah Vine to Yankee Wally have a pop at this pernicious plotless pair, once jolly-for-a-jape Prince Harry has gone and upset not only his father and brother, but also piled blame on his perfectly patient grandparents as well.

Speaking of his “cycle of pain” to Dax Shepherd’s Armchair Expert, which premieres next Friday, 21^st May, the royal runt remarked:

“When it comes to parenting, if I’ve experienced some form of pain or suffering because of the pain or suffering that perhaps my father or my parents had suffered, I’m going to make sure I break that cycle so that I don’t pass it on.”

“I know this about his [Prince Charles’s] life, I also know that is connected to his parents so that means he’s treated me the way he was treated, so how can I change that for my own kids.”

In the 17^th century, “to latibulate,” ‘Dictionary Corner’ doyenne Susie Dent, mused on Twitter this morning meant “to hide in a corner until conditions improve.” The Duke and Duchess of Sussex should take up just such and they should also listen to the normally woke wastrel Lily Allen’s 2014 song: Wind Your Neck In. It might do the pair of them some bloody good.

Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

Lyrics to Lily Allen’s ‘Wind Your Neck In’ that should be heeded by the plotless Duke and Duchess of Sussex

Why don’t you keep your eyes on the road

Keep yourself to yourself

Or you’re gonna explode

Don’t concern yourself in my sh*t

If I told you the truth

Well you probably couldn’t handle it

What’s it got to do with you

I don’t care what you get up to

Didn’t ask for your opinion

Not your business

Wind your neck in

Why’d you think you’re better

Little rubber-necker

No one likes a trouble maker

Pull up your socks

There’s nothing to see here

Why’d you have to be here

Can’t you turn around and get back into your box

Wind your neck in (repeat)

I always said each to their own

Won’t you give me a break

Won’t you throw me a bone

I’m a different cat or a fish

If you don’t understand

Just look the other way, you b*tch

I’ll do my thing, you do yours

What you get up to behind closed doors

No of interest, I’ve no opinion

It’s not my business

Wind your neck in

Why’d you think you’re better

Little rubber-necker

No one likes a trouble maker

Pull up your socks

There’s nothing to see here

Why’d you have to be here

Can’t you turn around and get back into your box

Wind your neck in (repeat)

Down (Down)

The rubber-neckers slow me down

When will they ever work it out (Own)

No, they can’t run me out of town

Wind your neck in (repeat)

Why’d you think you’re better

Little rubber-necker

No one likes a trouble maker

Pull up your socks

There’s nothing to see here

Why’d you have to be here

Can’t you turn around and get back into your box

Wind your neck in (repeat)

The Plotless Pillock Prince 2021 – Prince Harry and his wife do not grasp that they live a privileged life that mere mortals cannot relate to. This plotless pair need to finally realise that their attention seeking ways are doing them nothing but harm. It is not others whom are to blame for their predicament: It is them and them alone.

The Plotless Pillock Prince 2021 – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex seem to be motivated more by money and attention than anything else. They should be ashamed of themselves and now, after well and truly losing the plot, its just time for them to wind their necks in.

May 14, 2021
A Cottage For A Quid

Crumbling stone-built seaside cottage in Welsh foodie destination and royal town of Caernarfon goes on sale for just £1

The Royal Town of Caernarfon sits on the eastern shore of the Menai Strait in North Wales and as a result of its proximity to Snowdonia and history dating back to Roman times is a “major tourist centre,” according to Wikipedia. It has a marina, award winning arts centre, a maritime museum and numerous popular pubs, bars and restaurants.

Situated down an alleyway behind the now shuttered Morris Bros Gors Bach Bakery shop at 72 Pool Street, a stone-built derelict cottage is currently being marketed by the Doorsteps online estate agency for the seemingly remarkable price of just £1.

Though clearly in need of total renovation, the space offered is just a three minute walk from the seafront and directly adjoins the town’s revamped shopping district where the annual food festival attracts around 30,000 visitors each May.

Of the property offered, the Mirror last week observed: “It now needs a total makeover to become a dream seaside cottage in the heart of the holiday town” and could instead be converted to a studio space even.

In their very brief marketing literature, Doorsteps, however, add: “Terms and conditions apply,” but when contacted for comment were somewhat curiously not able to elaborate further.

Bidding for the cottage to the rear of 72 Pool Street, Caernarfon is scheduled to commence online on 6^th May 2021 at 12 noon and will conclude at 1pm on the same day. Interestingly, a bidding deposit of £500 is required to participate – some £499 or 49,900% more than the property’s guide price.

The interior of the cottage is nothing but an empty shack currently, but there is plenty of character that could be incorporated into its potential reuse as a home.

The space could be used as a holiday cottage, permanent residence or a studio even – subject to any necessary planning consents being granted.

The currently derelict cottage is behind an also currently derelict bakery that had been in business for over 50 years and accessed via a somewhat unappealing alleyway.

The annual Caernarfon Food Festival is not happening in 2021 due to COVID-19 lockdown restrictions, but it is normally a popular event and attended by around 30,000 people.

The festival occurs throughout the town and on the sea wall even.

Previously in February 2017, ‘The Steeple Times’ featured the sale of a far grander residence in Caernarfon, The Old Court House, at a price reduced from £650,000 to just £525,000. The building’s then owner, an English property developer named Aaron Hill, told ‘Wales Online’ he was selling after “vandals had smashed his windows 46 times, daubed graffiti across doors, attacked his car and urinated through his letterbox.” He told the paper “he had reported about 26 incidents to North Wales Police and remarked: ‘They said: ‘You need to f**k off where you belong. We don’t want you here. We’ll burn the place down.’” The building was subsequently converted into a bar, bistro, restaurant and event venue in 2018.

In June 2014, ‘The Steeple Times’ featured another property once sold for £1, the Grade I listed Palladian gem Barlaston Hall in Staffordshire. It was saved from near collapse in 1981 by former ‘Country Life’ editor Marcus Binney and sold on for £300,000in 1992 and offered for sale again in 2014 for £2.3 million after renovations were completed. After its asking price was reduced to £2 million, it subsequently sold for £2 million through agents Fisher German in April 2019.

In the very same article in June 2014 in ‘The Steeple Times,’ we also included another £1 property, Old Whitehall House in Chirnside, Berwickshire, Scotland. Derelict since 2007, this B-listed Georgian mansion required at least £1.2 million spent on its refurbishment, but came complete with an ornate music room decorated in Italian plasterwork and 7 bedrooms.

May 3, 2021
Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle

Vast Scots Baronial mansion Carbisdale Castle – nicknamed ‘The Castle of Spite’ – goes on sale for sum 97% lower than it cost to build in the 1900s and 25% less than the sum spent on its 2010 renovation

A mega-mansion termed “the last grand castle built in Scotland” that cost £62 million to build between 1905 and 1917 has gone on sale for just £1.5 million in spite of developers having spent a small fortune on its renovation to date.

Extending to 41,433 square foot, category B-listed Carbisdale Castle in Sutherland is gargantuan in size compared to an average 818 square foot British home. Its construction began after the resolution of the then Dowager Duchess of Sutherland, Mary Caroline’s dispute with her late husband’s children from his first marriage, but ultimately the palatial pad was not completed until five years after her own demise.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – Mary Caroline, Dowager Duchess of Sutherland (1848 – 1912) and George Sutherland-Leveson-Gower, His Grace The 3rd Duke of Sutherland (1828 – 1892). According to one source, the “deviant duchess” enjoyed an astonishing income of £100,000 per year until her death and married her third husband, a politician and businessman, Sir Albert Rollit (1842 – 1922) in 1896.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – The castle was used as a youth hostel for 66 years from 1945 until 2011.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – Its vast size made it ideal for institutional usage.

Featured on these pages in August 2014 and April 2016 after it was placed for sale after being used for 70 years as a youth hostel, the allegedly haunted building was sold to a London based investment firm now known as Faro Capital after being reduced in price from £1.2 million to £900,000. At this stage, £2 million had already been spent on renovations due to extensive water damage in 2010.

In the years since, Faro Capital have cleared Carbisdale Castle of its institutional contents and put in place plans to return the structure to use as what they term a “world class single family residence.” Now, of its current condition, a surveyor recently remarked: “The building offers a superb blank canvas,” according to current selling agents Strutt & Parker.

Speaking to The Scotsman late last week, Robert McCulloch for Strutt & Parker remarked of the sale of Carbisdale Castle:

“Already there has been interest. The property is in a state of partial renovation so it lends itself to being either a private residence or a commercial venture.”

“There has been interest in it as a hotel and also those who are interested in its charitable use. With its proximity to the North Coast 500 driving route and the rise in domestic tourism, I am sure people will see a lot of opportunity in this property.”

Carbisdale Castle, however, is still not without problems. Aside from its vast size and the associated costs of maintaining such a white elephant, it comes with a mere 20 acres of land and that is split into various spread-apart parcels. Thus, for a likely oligarch or business titan buyer – who will have to be someone with very, very deep pockets – privacy and security will remain an obvious issue.

Given his alleged penchant for burning £50 notes in front of the homeless, perhaps ‘Costly Carrie’ Symonds could persuade Boris Johnson to put in a bid. There’d be plenty to keep her busy after all and acres of wall space for her chum Lulu Lytle to cover in gold and gaud.

The Names & Numbers – Carbisdale Castle, Culrain, Ardgay, Sutherland, IV24 3DP, Scotland, United Kingdom

May 2021 – Placed for sale with Strutt & Parker for £1.5 million ($2.1 million, €1.7 million or درهم7.6 million) or the equivalent of just £36.20 per square foot.

2017 onwards – Of progress since purchase by Faro Capital, Strutt & Parker remarked in 2021: “The current position is that, since 2017, significant works have been carried out to the castle pursuant with the approved consent but the works required to complete the project have been put on hold.”

“This provides the flexibility to purchasers to either complete the development of the castle as a private home, or seek to vary the Listed Building Consent to include the development of the building for commercial use or the subdivision of the building as residential apartments.”

“The intention of the project was to combine all of the decorative features and grandeur of the Dowager Duchess of Sutherland’s original creation with services, systems, fixtures, fittings and layout of the highest contemporary quality together with reorganisation of the existing accommodation to suit 21st Century living and the development of a spa and swimming pool as complementary features.”

Works to Carbisdale Castle have included the stripping down of the building, the removal of redundant items, the excavation of a proposed swimming pool and the replacement of heating systems and lighting circuits.

September 2016 – Sold to Sloane Street, London based Faro Capital Limited (formerly known as the FCFM Group), who planned to turn the building into a “world class residence.”

April 2016 – Reduced in price to just £900,000 ($1.2 million, €1 million or درهم4.6 million) or the equivalent of just £21.70 per square foot.

August 2014 – Offered for sale by Savills for £1.2 million ($1.7 million, €1.4 million or درهم6.1 million).

2010 onwards – After extensive water damage caused by frost, £2 million ($2.8 million, €2.3 million or درهم10.1 million) is spent on renovations.

1945 – 2011 – Used as a youth hostel.

1944 – Gifted to the Scottish Youth Hostel Association (SYHA) by Colonel Salvesen’s son, Captain Harold Salvesen.

22^nd June 1941 – Used as the location to host the Carbisdale Conference at which it was “agreed that that the Russian forces, should they enter Norwegian territory, would not stay there after the war.”

1933 – Sold to Norwegian shipping and whaling tycoon Colonel Theodore Salvesen and used during the Second World War as a “safe refuge” for King Haakon VII of Norway and Crown Prince Olav, later King Olav V, during the Nazi occupation of Norway.

1905 – 1917 – Carbisdale Castle is built for Mary Caroline, Dowager Duchess of Sutherland (1848 – 1912) at a supposed cost of £500,000 or the equivalent of £62 million ($86 million, €71 million or درهم315 million) following the death of her husband, George Sutherland-Leveson-Gower, His Grace The 3^rd Duke of Sutherland (1828 – 1892).

The Dowager Duchess (better known as ‘Duchess Blair’) had been jailed for 6 weeks after being found guilty of stealing documents during her divorce and when that was eventually finalised, it was agreed that a castle would be built for her just outside the Sutherland lands.

She intentionally chose – supposedly to spite them – a prominent hillside site visible from the very railway line the Sutherlands used to travel south and insisted that the clock tower of the house only had three clock faces. On the side facing Sutherland, the face is blank as “the Duchess did not wish to give the time of day to her former relatives.” As a result, Carbisdale Castle gained the nickname ‘The Castle of Spite.’

May 2, 2021
The Money of McCann

Gerry and Kate McCann rake in £773,600 of private money in spite of admitting there is “nothing much to report” 14 years into the fast approaching £13 million public funded investigation into the dubious ‘disappearance’ of their daughter Madeleine

Not content with having garnered over £12.5 million in public funding for the police investigation with a further £300,000 top-up likely to come soon, it has this week been revealed that Gerry and Kate McCann’s privately administered fund now has an astonishing net worth of £773,629.

Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Ltd. – which counts controversial double glazing tycoon Brian Kennedy, a man whom once bizarrely claimed he “had visions of flying in by helicopter to rescue Madeleine,” amongst its directors since 16^th May 2007 – is listed as having £235,900 in cash and £245,000 in assets in newly released accounts.

Whilst last week, Dr and Mrs McCann told the Mirror that they “still believe in miracles,” in a post on the ‘Official Find Madeleine Campaign’ Facebook page the particularly pugnacious pair also had to admit of the investigation: “Nothing much to report.”

Previously, a ‘friend’ (‘unnamed,’ of course, as is so often the case with anyone speaking on behalf of those close to the case of missing Madeleine McCann) of Dr and Mrs McCann remarked:

“Kate and Gerry know the police investigation cannot go on forever.”

“When [the police investigation] is shelved, and if there is no result, Kate and Gerry will use money in the fund to continue the hunt.”

“That is what it is there for. They paid for their own team of private investigators initially and when the official inquiry ends they will do so again although in the past it has proven to be extremely costly.”

Today, again, we ask: “Why does so much public money continue to be wasted on an investigation that has achieved nothing in 14 years and why is another £300,000 about to be given from the public purse when other missing person searches get little to nothing? Why is this disproportionate allocation of taxpayer funded resources allowed to go on?”

The Money of McCann – Ben Needham, then aged just 1, disappeared on the Greek island of Kos on 24th July 1991. He has been missing for over 29 year and in the time since his mother, Kerry Needham, has shockingly come under attack from supporters of the family of Madeleine McCann. Of this in October 2015, she commented: “It feels like a personal attack on me. It is deeply, deeply hurtful. I have myself had massive amounts of slanderous abuse from supporters of the McCann campaign in the past but I have never taken that personally. It’s freedom of speech. But it is getting the names of two missing children out there which is really important.”

The Money of McCann – Luke Durbin disappeared aged just 19 in Suffolk in May 2006. In spite of his mother’s tireless campaign to attempt to find her vanished son, why don’t the police devote more resources to the search for him?

The Money of McCann – Martin Allen vanished without a trace in London on 5th November 1979 aged just 15. Though his brother, Kevin Allen, has kept the case in the public eye as much as he can, he gets little to no help from the Metropolitan Police. Again today, we ask: “Why isn’t money from the public purse allocated to solving this case and thousands like it and why, instead, has fast approaching £13 million been allocated to a case that has not been solved in 14 years?”

The Money of McCann – In September 2018, Ben Needham’s mother Kerry quite rightly told ITV1’s ‘Loose Women’ that “it hurts” that so much money has been allocated to the search for Madeleine McCann whilst so little has been given to aid help other families find their missing relatives. She added: “[Madeleine] deserves to be found, but so does Ben. We haven’t had a fraction, I’ve had to fight alone as a single mum and try to get the help that Ben deserves… I don’t take anything away from anyone who’s got a loved one who is missing, but every single one deserves to be found.”

April 27, 2021
Hospitality vs. Headbangers

Legal challenge to Boris Johnson’s government’s completely illogical refusal to allow indoor hospitality venues to open whilst allowing indoor retail to open to be decided on this week

In spite of venues with outdoor space being allowed to serve customers on their terraces and in gardens, the hospitality sector in the UK will continue to lose around £200 million per day until the government allows them to serve indoors in mid-May.

This week, following a perfectly sensible legal challenge by Sacha Lord, the night-time economy adviser for Greater Manchester, and Hugh Osmond, the founder of Punch Taverns, the government could be forced to bring forward the date for indoor opening for bars, pubs and restaurants.

Lord and Osmond together quite sensibly argue there is no justification or scientific basis for indoor hospitality to be kept closed for five additional weeks after non-essential retailers in England were allowed to serve customers indoors from 12^th April. Their call is correct and the continuation of this illogical set of double standards is doing just one thing: Dealing another body blow to an already devastated sector.

Speaking on Radio 4’s Today programme this morning of their challenge to the crackpot crazy decisions of borderline bonkers’ Boris Johnson’s Tory government, Osmond remarked:

“This is something of a David versus Goliath battle. We are reassured that David won in that instance.”

“At the start of this pandemic there was a totally understandable assumption that hospitality venues might be responsible for the spread of infections. The vision of drunken people in crowded pubs is an easy and obvious target that people understand.”

“The data [now] definitively shows that hospitality was not the major source of infections.”

Elsewhere on Twitter on Friday, Lord remarked: “The government’s defence is just in… They must be concerned, they’ve put their No. 1 legals on the case, Sir James Eadie QC, the First Treasury Counsel.”

Going further this morning, he added: “Thank you for all the good luck messages. It’s not necessarily today, the Judge has said: ‘The week commencing the 19^th.’ Again, a real long shot, but as soon as there’s news, I’ll post it here. Enjoy the sun.”

Today, all at The Steeple Times join those supporting the logic of allowing indoor hospitality venues to reopen and reopen now. Let’s get the indoor show back on the road.

Pictured top: Restaurants such as Fifty Cheyne in Chelsea, London have tables that are very clearly separated from one another. As shown in this image, diners can be socially distanced in a manner perfectly reasonable. Why shouldn’t such places – which lack outdoor dining areas and thus cannot even benefit from the currently allowed outdoor opening rules – not be able to get back to business whilst small, cramped shops with little-to-no precautionary measures are allowed to trade?

Hospitality vs. Headbangers – Echoing scenes from December 2020 reported on in ‘The Steeple Times,’ on Sunday the ‘MailOnline’ reported on yet another swarm of maskless, tempestuous teenagers descending on Harrods on Saturday. Sharing the article on Twitter on Monday, Hugh Osmond remarked: “It is surely clear that all-seated, licensed hospitality venues, with table service only, cannot present more of a risk than non-essential retail… Open indoor hospitality now.”

Hospitality vs. Headbangers – Giuseppe Turi, who owns Enoteca Turi on Pimlico Road, London, SW1 with his wife Pamela, is currently just serving people on his two outside tables “after loyal customers begged him to reopen,” the ‘Daily Star’ last week reported. Speaking to the ‘Mail on Sunday,’ Mr Turi added: “It doesn’t really make financial sense with just two tables, but our customers are so desperate to come back. We are now fully booked until May 17 when we can open inside. We are very excited to connect with our regulars again, but unfortunately we’ve not been able to accommodate everybody.” The chances of this business making a profit from such activity stand in the area of “zilch-zero-nothing,” but provide proof that it is businesses that are showing initiative and not the illogical, rudderless, incompetent government of Boris Johnson.

Hospitality vs. Headbangers – Last October, Richard Caring, owner of many of London’s best-known high-end restaurants, stuck up two dummies of Boris Johnson (in spite of having previously given over £510,000 in donations to the Conservative Party previously). At the time of the lockdown then in place, Caring raged: “Make no mistake, this is a disastrous decision, taken by people who do not understand what terrible damage they are doing to the country.”

April 19, 2021