The Steeple Times

Tag: angry

  • Put A Stamp In It

    Put A Stamp In It

    Bath pensioner gets very, very, very worked up about the quality of stamps available in a Post Office in a WHSmith store

    Right now, whilst most people are either worrying about the health of their friends and relatives or their next pay cheque during the coronavirus lockdown, a man named Dave French from Bath, Somerset has other priorities.

     

    Last month, Mr French contacted SomersetLive to moan about the quality of service and stamps in his local WHSmith. Speaking to the local newspaper’s senior reporter Richard Mills, the 68-year-old remarked:

     

    “I buy hundreds of pounds of postage stamps for correspondence and parcels. I prefer to buy sheets of commemorative stamps the first day they are issued. When legibly franked and postmarked they take on a second life… So, I was disappointed soon after the new Post Office in WHSmiths opened to be told that they had not received the new stamp issue.”

     

    After returning on another occasion, after getting what he ‘thought’ he wanted, this moaning Minnie added:

     

    “I returned a few days later to the Smiths Post Office and bought what was left of the newly issued stamps. Very attractive but when I got home I found they had been ripped across and parts of them missing. Somebody hadn’t noticed you are meant to use the perforations. What kind of staff were they employing?”

     

    Mr French supposedly then visited again. This time, he found: “On my third and final attempt to get decent service in Smiths, there was the usual long queue, nowhere to sit and the priority was the staff fixing the self-service stamp machines.”

     

    Summing up, the pensioner concluded by sharing his fury: “Speechless, I left and will not be returning… Ralph Allen [an 18th century British postal service reformer] will be turning in his mausoleum in Claverton churchyard… I won’t go back there.”

     

    One thing is for sure about customer from hell Dave French’s decision: The workers of WHSmith and the Post Office of Bath will be eternally grateful.

     

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  • Angry About Otters

    Angry About Otters

    Wiltshire manor house owner proves himself a fine example of an ‘angry person in a local newspaper’ in ranting about otters

    Whilst most people are worrying about where they can buy bog roll during the coronavirus lockdown, 83-year-old John Aeberhard of Steeple Ashton has taken the time to contact the Wiltshire Times to “warn other fishpond owners to beware” about the threat of otters.

     

    Manor house owner Mr Aeberhard, previously the protector of 30 goldfish, koi and other carp, told the paper’s reporter, one John Baker, of how 22 of them were “killed in raids on his pond.” He remarked: “I and my grandchildren are very upset, as the fish all had names.”

     

    At first, Aeberhard blamed a heron – of which he’s previously shockingly admitted to catching two in “heron wires installed above and the perimeter of the pond” – but when his gardener suggested “it could have been otters,” the pensioner decided to install electric wires.

     

    Describing these carnivorous mammals as “in reality vicious fish killers,” Mr Aeberhard plainly will be leading the way in calling to eliminate these beautiful creatures. Thankfully British law still protects these them and on the government’s guidance website for clarity, we point this ‘Angry Person In A Local Newspaper’ to the paragraph that reads: “You’re breaking the law if you capture, kill, disturb or injure otters.” He should also be made aware: “If you’re found guilty of an offence you could get an unlimited fine and up to 6 months in prison.”

     

    Now, Mr Aeberhard, please be civil and leave the descendants of Henry Williamson’s ‘Tarka’ alone. And whilst you’re at it also, leave the herons be as well.

     

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  • Shutting up Schofield

    Shutting up Schofield

    Phillip Schofield’s mum has more to fear from this angry man’s presence on screen than the coronavirus

    In a recent Evening Standard article, Susannah Butter reported that Phillip Schofield had been worrying about when to tell his mother “to stay in now” due to coronavirus.

     

    We’d argue a different point: Mr Schofield would be better off just forcing her to turn off her telly box instead. This angry man’s mum has much more to fear from the daily drivel he spouts there.

     

    Pictured top: Phillip Schofield with his former ‘friend’ Matt McGreevy.

     

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  • Schofield Axed

    Schofield Axed

    Fresh from ‘outing’ himself Phillip Schofield finds his new television series ‘How To Spend It Well’ axed

    After outing himself and facing allegations of an affair with a young man named Matt McGreevy now faces further woes after his new television series, How To Spend It Well, was scrapped by ITV “over coronavirus fears” according to the Mirror.

     

    Lightweight Schofield, a person widely known for having temper tantrums, planned to tell “the British public [how to] get the most out of their holidays,” but now “bosses pulled it from Thursday’s listings.”

     

    Whilst COVID-19 may have been blamed for this decision, perhaps that was just a distraction. A source told The Steeple Times: “There are set to be further developments in the McGreevy-Schofield saga and ITV will most definitely want to distance themselves from this very angry man.”

     

    Pictured top: Phillip Schofield with Matt McGreevy.

     

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  • Caravan Calamity

    Caravan Calamity

    Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after he and his sardine tin are told to move on

    Nobody sane would wish to spend their holidays in a glorified sardine tin, but now “upset” caravan owners at the Low Wood, Haverthwaite site are distraught at being evicted.

     

    Moaning pensioner Lloyd Smith complained this week to The Westmorland Gazette about the matter. Pictured standing aside his scruffy looking metal box in his equally awful parka, the Queensbury resident bleated:

     

    “It’s all very upsetting. It’s been a lifetime of enjoyment… I can’t understand this… I’ve been caravanning for more than 60 years. The essence is that caravanning has been a way of life. It’s terribly sad that it has come to an abrupt end in such a way for myself and friends.”

     

    He retchingly continued:

     

    “I have not heard of a caravan site closing. I very much doubt there will be alternatives for the caravans.”

     

    As our regular comment maker Rod from Australia would say: “Yes there is. Send in the bloody wrecking ball.”

     

    Online on the Facebook page ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ the reaction was hilarious. Some of group’s members comments follow.

     

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    Caravan Calamity – Lloyd Smith and Low Wood, Haverthwaite caravan park – Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after his sardine tin is told to move on.
    Caravan Calamity – Lloyd Smith and Low Wood, Haverthwaite caravan park – Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after his sardine tin is told to move on.
    Caravan Calamity – Lloyd Smith and Low Wood, Haverthwaite caravan park – Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after his sardine tin is told to move on.
    Caravan Calamity – Lloyd Smith and Low Wood, Haverthwaite caravan park – Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after his sardine tin is told to move on.
  • The Phil & Matt Show

    The Phil & Matt Show

    Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph taken at a school

    Phillip Schofield has most certainly manipulated most people into thinking he’s a national treasure. He’s cried on the telly box and most recently orchestrated a ‘coming out’ that has done nothing but bolstered his career. Here, indeed, is someone, it seems, who can do no wrong.

     

    In the aftermath of our covering claims that Schofield “orchestrated his mass coming out” in Politicalite, we have now been sent further evidence that the known for being very, very angry television presenter likely first met the former This Morning runner Matt McGreevy prior to 2011.

     

    In a picture, shared in a YouTube video in which the duo are primarily filmed smoking shisha, Schofield is seen posing alongside McGreevy and a whole array of children in school uniforms. The latter appears to look extremely young and though we cannot confirm that there was any relationship between the pair at that stage, what is apparent is that there is most definitely more to this story than first meets the eye.

     

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    The Phil & Matt Show – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy affair – Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph taken at a school.
    The Phil & Matt Show – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy affair – Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph taken at a school.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7mzqB6oQe8
  • SchofieldLite

    SchofieldLite

    ‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship whilst he was a teenager

    Phillip Schofield has truly milked his ‘coming out.’ Criticised yesterday by Matthew Parris in The Times for behaving badly towards other gay men in hiding his true identity until now, the This Morning presenter’s alleged ‘real reason’ for revealing his sexuality is now under question.

     

    Featured in Politicalite on Monday was a story that claimed 57-year-old Schofield had allegedly had an affair with a former runner on the show named Matt McGreevy.

     

    McGreevy, they reported, in 2014 and then aged 18, “got a taste for television” after spending the day at ITV’s London Studios with the well-known for being angry presenter. The two had interacted first in 2011 (when McGreevy was 15) on Twitter, but now Politicalite report:

     

    “Schofield is alleged to have been having the affair with the runner and he was said to have been ‘furious’ that Schofe had apparently ‘’f**ked him over,’ and he was reportedly going to the press.”

     

    “McGreevy was also said to have had a ‘close working relationship’’ with Schofe, but after they had a ‘bust up’ with McGreevy left This Morning to work on rival show Loose Women.’

     

    McGreevy’s Twitter account has subsequently been suspended for “violat[ing] the Twitter rules.”

     

    Phillip Schofield has neither denied or admitted the claims.

     

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    SchofieldLite – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy – ‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship whilst he was a teenager.
    Proof that they met more than once – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy in a café.
    SchofieldLite – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy – ‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship whilst he was a teenager.
    McGreevy pictured on the set of ‘This Morning’ with a child.
    SchofieldLite – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy – ‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship whilst he was a teenager.
    Schofield and McGreevy enjoying themselves on a sofa on another occasion.
    SchofieldLite – Phillip Schofield and Matt McGreevy – ‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship whilst he was a teenager.
    Matt McGreevy’s Twitter account is now suspended for “rule violation.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGuoqjTg1O8
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L4aJWdPyUM
  • Where’s Theresa (When You Actually Need Her)?

    Where’s Theresa (When You Actually Need Her)?

    “Fed up” Maidenhead constituent who fears “one foot wrong and you could be over” gets no help from Theresa May over a missing lamp post

    When she’s not naughtily wandering through wheat fields or rambling around with her garden gnome-like money magnet husband Philip, our former Prime Minister Theresa May should surely be helping her constituents in the Royal Borough of Maidenhead.

     

    Sadly, it seems, this is not the case as, according to the Maidenhead Advertiser, the former Tory leader has not done anything to help residents of the town’s Marlborough Road after a delivery driver knocked down one of their lamp posts.

     

    Where’s Theresa (When You Actually Need Her)? “Fed up” Maidenhead constituent who fears “one foot wrong and you could be over” gets no help from Theresa May over a missing lamp post. Madelene Lachello of Marlborough Road, Maidenhead moans to the Maidenhead Advertiser.
    Madelene Lachello of Marlborough Road, Maidenhead is a very angry woman due to the fact a lamp post is missing from her street. What is her local Member of Parliament Theresa May doing about this? Plainly absolutely nothing.

    Speaking to the paper, resident Madelene Lachello angrily announced: “The darkness is an issue. You can’t physically see outside, it is so pitch black, and there are a lot of single ladies living down this road as well.”

     

    The irate busybody continued: “I’m so fed up phoning the [Royal] Borough and not getting anywhere. They just say: ‘We’ve passed it on and we’ll give you a call to let you know what’s going on’ – but you hear nothing.”

     

    Lachello furiously concluded: “There’s no lighting, people could be walking up there and if you put one foot wrong you could be over.” Death by missing lamp post plainly beckons.

     

    Perhaps the worst Prime Minister in history could finally find herself something useful to do: Perhaps it’s time for this hapless harridan to personally go and turn the lights back on in Marlborough Road, Maidenhead.

     

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  • A Moral Vacuum

    A Moral Vacuum

    Billionaire Brexiteer James Dyson (yet again) shows himself as nothing but a self-serving prick in relocating his HQ to Singapore

     

    Yesterday, in the wake of the crappy hoover manufacturer Sir James Dyson announcing he’d be relocating his headquarters to Singapore, the journalist Tim Walker tweeted: “Need a moral vacuum? Get a Dyson” and followed up with: “People are becoming legitimately angry about the sheer hypocrisy of the Brexiteers. We see them for what they are.”

     

    A Moral Vacuum – Brexiteer Sir James Dyson is nothing but a hypocrite – Billionaire Brexiteer James Dyson (yet again) shows himself as nothing but a self-serving prick in relocating his HQ to Singapore.
    Journalist Tim Walker tweets about James Dyson’s “moral vacuum”

     

    This morning, in a similar vein, a spoof news site named Evening Harold ran a story titled ‘Dyson launch moral vacuum’ in which they declared the billionaire’s products to have: “100% less integrity than rival products and comes in cordless, bagless, spineless and gutless models.”

     

    They are right: This tax avoider – whom also recently spent £57 million ($74 million) on a Manhattan penthouse – and his dreary overpriced rugmaker wife Deirdre are the finest examples of hypocrites on the planet; they pompously tell the populous what to do and do exactly the opposite. It’s time this “it’s one rule for us and another for everyone else” duo just bogged off to whatever tax haven they feel most comfortable in.

     

    #BoycottDyson #MoralVacuum #ExitBrexit

     

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  • No Offence Taken

    No Offence Taken

    Matthew Steeples questions the validity of  getting easily offended as a man “offends” a woman on the Underground by dressing as Samuel L. Jackson

     

    People will always find reasons to be offended it seems. In the days of the overblown #MeToo movement our snowflake society cannot cope with anything that isn’t politically correct.

     

    This morning’s Mail Online reported that a woman was outraged when she spotted a white man who’d made himself look like Samuel L. Jackson for Halloween on a London Underground train.

     

    Whilst I personally wouldn’t do such a thing – for starters, I do not “do” fancy dress of any kind – that the bizarrely named Petra-Isabella Joli declared it “a bit racist” is a little bit ridiculous.

     

    Why not get angry about something a little bit more serious?

     

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