The Steeple Times

Tag: angry

  • Wallies of the Week – Linda and Tony Gilkes

    Wallies of the Week – Linda and Tony Gilkes

    Middlesborough couple go to the press after Morrisons refuse to sell them meat pies before 9am

     

    There are conspiracy theorists and then there’s a pie loving duo named Linda and Tony Gilkes from Teeside.

     

    Featured in a local newspaper named GazetteLive, these pensioners “were left piping hot with fury” after the Berwick Hills, Middlesborough branch of Morrisons refused to sell them eight large sausage rolls and two steak bakes at 8.45am last Wednesday.

     

    In the most bizarre set of comments imaginable, 62-year old Mrs Gilkes remarked:

     

    “I could see bags and bags of pies, all wrapped up on cages behind the counter. The trolley was ready to be pushed out. But when I asked for the pies, I was told: ‘We can’t sell the pies until 9am’. I could have had a fruit pie, but not a meat pie.”

     

    “If they hadn’t been cooked, that would make sense. But the fact that they were baked, well – it’s ridiculous. If I could’ve reached over, I would have grabbed them myself.”

     

    “I wasn’t waiting 20 minutes so I went to Cooplands [another local shop]. I was disappointed to say the least. They are dictating to me when I can buy pies and when I can shop.”

     

    Her angry husband, a man curiously described as someone capable of “[eating] fish and chips three days a week and rarely [touching] pastry,” added:

     

    “When you’re faced with that situation at the counter, you start thinking: ‘Is it Candid Camera? Is it April Fool’s Day?”

     

    “There’s more to this. Morrisons have got their own agenda. They don’t want people to know about it, They have given too many ridiculous stories about why. They contradicted themselves over and over.”

     

    “Who do they think us customers are? We are the people paying their wages.”

     

    Theresa May might be busy with Syria but she ought to get her priorities in order and head to Middlesborough and get herself behind Morrisons’ pie counter: Mr and Mrs Gilkes need her.

     

    Follow The Steeple Times on Twitter at @SteepleTimes.

     

  • Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable

    Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable

    Facebook page where Whitstable locals spend time moaning and arguing will have you in hysterics; welcome to an example of a modern day spouting place for ‘Busybody Britain’

     

    You’ll likely have come across the Facebook page ‘Overheard in Waitrose’. It has garnered over 500,000 likes since its inception in April 2014, but, for those wanting to see something a little more off-the-wall, we urge readers to attempt to join the closed group ‘Overheard and Seen in Whitstable’.

     

    If approved by the somewhat Kafkaesque page admins – a controlling trio named Helen Crook, Leo Osborn and Simon Poole – one gets not only usual community related issues such as stories of missing-presumed-stolen mobility scooters (lots of these contraptions can be found causing havoc on the pavements of Whitstable) but also angry incomers ranting about planning decisions, moaning mothers lamenting the limited opening hours of McDonald’s and shoppers saluting local stores for the quality of their mushroom displays.

     

    From the bizarre to the ridiculous, ‘Overheard and Seen in Whitstable’ will certainly leave you laughing. A selection of strange posts, pictures and requests follows:

     

    Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook groupWebsite of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook groupWebsite of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook groupWebsite of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable Facebook group

  • Soggy Sofas, Maddening Mirrors and Civic Vacuum Cleaners

    Soggy Sofas, Maddening Mirrors and Civic Vacuum Cleaners

    Examples of the worst kind of ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ and the most irrelevant of stories

     

    On Saturday, Glenn and Gwen Harper of Horden, County Durham shared their story with the world. The couple told the Chronicle Live about how they were forced into buying a mirror they didn’t want after ordering a “three-piece suite” from the Stockton branch of Harveys Furniture.

     

    Shared on the highly amusing ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ Facebook page, the couple told of how, three weeks after placing the order, they were called and informed that they had been mistakenly overcharged by £250.

     

    Offered £250 in goods, as it was supposedly not the business’ policy to give cash refunds, Mr and Mrs Harper chose a mirror and took it home with them. Their £1,080 “suite” was then delivered but “the couple refused to accept it because it was wet” and subsequently they cancelled their order.

     

    In spite of being offered a full refund, this whinging couple were offered £325 in compensation. In spite of their profit, they were not happy and declared: “They came and took [the mirror] away leaving two holes in the wall but at least we don’t have to look at ourselves and be reminded that we didn’t want it in the first place”.

     

    That this duo actually went to a newspaper to share this and that a newspaper was prepared to publish this tale of woe is surely a joke but elsewhere The Westmorland Gazette shared an equally ridiculous tale. In a feature written by a reporter named Rachel Kitchen, it was announced that a new vacuum cleaner had been bought by Carnforth Town Council for the Carnforth Civic Hall in Lancashire.

     

    Hold the front page!

     

  • A Catty Catastrophe

    A Catty Catastrophe

    ‘Bride of Wildenstein’ got her claws out in New York; her boyfriend learns a lesson about playing with cats

     

    Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes once remarked: “Those who’ll play with cats must expect to be scratched” and now, it seems, 76-year old plastic surgery obsessive and feline lookalike Jocelyn Wildenstein’s boyfriend has ended up getting exactly that.

     

    The former wife of the now deceased billionaire Alec Wildenstein – and the lucky recipient of £2 billion ($2.5 billion or €2.4 billion or درهم‎‎9.2 billion) and £79.5 million a year ($100 million or €94.6 million or درهم‎‎367.3 million a year) for 13 years after their 1999 divorce – was arrested early Wednesday after gouging her boyfriend’s face with her nails and stabbing him twice in the chest with her scissors at the Trump World Tower apartment they’ve shared for the last 13 years.

     

    A Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon
    Jocelyn Wildenstein’s mugshot following her arrest on Wednesday 7th December 2016
    A Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon
    An injured Lloyd Klein in New York this week following Jocelyn Wildenstein attacking him
    A Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon
    Mr Klein tweeted a picture of himself with Donald Trump in November and congratulated him on his victory over Hillary Clinton; he has over 5,000 followers on Twitter

     

    Swiss born Wildenstein, née Périsset, appeared in court later in the day charged with felony assault charges in the second degree. She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon against 49-year old Canadian couturier Lloyd Klein and allegedly poured hot wax over him, “went for his face with her nails” and “grabbed some scissors and stabbed them twice into his chest”. The cat-like woman is to said to have been provoked into the violent frenzy after Klein allegedly failed to “pay her enough attention” after an evening meal, according to an unnamed source who spoke with the Mail Online.

     

    The source spoke of what happened at length and commented:

     

    “She can blow up anytime, anywhere and absolutely no reason. He says she is a truly beautiful person when she’s on her best behavior. But when flies into one of her incredible rages – look out”.

     

    “… He was very scared, he asked her to calm down but she just got angrier and angrier and threatened to kill him”.

     

    “Lloyd just pushed her inside [a walk-in closet in their Manhattan apartment] o get her to calm down. He told her this couldn’t be happening and this was wrong but he didn’t lock her up [as she claimed at the time]”.

     

    “She started calling her agent, calling 911, calling security, calling anyone she could to say she was being attacked and held prisoner”.

     

    “But when the cops arrived it was patently obvious that she could have opened the door herself”.

     

    “By now Lloyd’s face was all scratched and swollen, he had two scissor stabs to his chest. The police took one look at the blood and realized he was the victim”.

     

    “He knows it will happen again if they live under the same roof. Lloyd is very private and focused on protecting his image and his brand but Jocelyn gets a kick out this”.

     

    “The remarks about her facial features don’t worry her. She likes a good scandal”.

     

    Here, indeed, is a cat that needs to be caged: Jocelyn Wildenstein should be locked up for her and everyone else’s safety.

     

    Catty Quotes:

     

    “Artists like cats; soldiers like dogs” – Desmond Morris

     

    “The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether see a moth or an axe murderer” – Paula Poundstone

     

    “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals” – Winston Churchill

     

    “Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal” – Eddie Izzard

     

    “Mad women and cats. The two always end up together” – Unknown

     

    Jocelyn Wildenstein through the ages:A Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon A Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon A Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weaponA Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weaponA Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weaponA Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weaponA Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weaponA Catty Catastrophe – Feline-like Bride of Wildenstein Jocelyn Wildenstein and couturier Lloyd Klein – Fight at Trump World Tower, Wednesday 7th December 2016 - Delony assault charges in the second degree – She is accused of inflicting injuries with a weapon

     

     

  • Animals and Animals

    Animals and Animals

    Social media has given a gang of angry old men a voice that is truly repugnant; weirdly they’re united by their adoration of cats and dogs

     

    Hitler loved animals. He didn’t like most humans and he especially didn’t like Jews, gypsies and gays. Now, a group of angry, bitter men have taken to social media in the wake of Brexit and the election of Trump and surprisingly, the one thing that unites them is that this mob also like sharing pictures of cats, dogs and other animals.

     

    Aside from their vile rants about Gina Miller – one offered a reward of £5,000 to anyone who might “accidentally run her over” – this nasty gaggle talk of how they “want to piss off the PC” and link to articles about robberies where they claim “blacks carry on this kind of work”. They brand anyone they don’t like “PC c**ts”, term them “feral dogs” and refer to Bernie Sanders as “a fascist neo-Liberal alt-left clown”. Surprisingly, however, these sorry excuses for humans also pepper their posts with images of wolves playing – accompanied by caption such as “how lovely” – and “lions running on grass for the first time” – “stunning, delightful”.

     

    Follow these people on Facebook and Twitter at your peril as all you’ll see is angry Middle England at its worst; the most intolerant animals have taken over the asylum and they love only the animals that can’t answer them back.

     

    Animals and Animals – Social media has given a gang of angry old men a voice that is truly repugnant; weirdly they’re united by a love of animals Animals and Animals – Social media has given a gang of angry old men a voice that is truly repugnant; weirdly they’re united by a love of animals Animals and Animals – Social media has given a gang of angry old men a voice that is truly repugnant; weirdly they’re united by a love of animals

  • Mr Make a Big Issue

    Mr Make a Big Issue


    Big Issue     sellers are normally pleasant but Mr Make a Big Issue is quite the exception. (more…)

  • August shockers

    August shockers

    Isn’t it time we saved “being shocked” for times when it is really required? Not in August it seems (more…)

  • Take the f***ing picture

    Take the f***ing picture

    Prince Philip loses his cool with a photographer (more…)

  • John Paul Murphy: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    John Paul Murphy: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks John Paul Murphy, head chef of South Kensington restaurant La Brasserie: “What’s on your mantelpiece?” (more…)

  • Liberal with the smacks

    Liberal with the smacks

    Child beater speaks at Liberal Democrat conference

     

    At the Liberal Democrat conference on Monday, Vince Cable complained that the Conservatives are “like UKIP without the beer” whilst Guido Fawkes shared pictures of delegates sleeping. Worse still – and also highlighted by Mr Fawkes – was news that the conference was addressed by a convicted child beater. (more…)