The Steeple Times

Tag: accident

  • Taxi For ‘Has-Been’ – The “Catastrophic” Crap Of Prince Harry

    Taxi For ‘Has-Been’ – The “Catastrophic” Crap Of Prince Harry

    After ‘Has-Been’ Prince Harry nonsensically claimed he was pursued for TWO HOURS by paparazzi, all he has proven is that he’s nothing but a whining whingebag

    “When you’re in the middle of a near catastrophic car chase wouldn’t you put on your seat belt?” quite rightly enquired the spoof Twitter account Audrey fforbes-Hamilton on Wednesday evening of Prince Harry’s allegations that paparazzi pursued him, his wife and his mother-in-law in New York for two hours on Tuesday.

     

    After having put in an appearance at the astoundingly overpriced £795,000 ($1 million, €915,000 or درهم3.7 million) for two tables Ms. Foundation for Women awards dinner at the Ziegfeld Ballroom at 141 West 54th Street – where the mendacious menace formerly known as Meghan Markle laughably received a ‘Woman of Vision award in spite of clearly being totally lacking in ‘vision’ of anything other than power and privilege – the trio claim to have been involved in a two hour “near catastrophic” car chase around Manhattan.

     

    An unnamed spokesperson for ‘Walmart Wallis’ and her dopey drip ‘Has-Been’ hubby subsequently whined:

     

    “[On Tuesday[ night, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and [Doria] Ragland were involved in a near catastrophic car chase at the hands of a ring of highly aggressive paparazzi.”

     

    “This relentless pursuit, lasting over two hours, resulted in multiple near collisions involving other drivers on the road, pedestrians and two NYPD officers.”

     

    “While being a public figure comes with a level of interest from the public, it should never come at the cost of anyone’s safety.”

     

    “Dissemination of these images, given the ways in which they were obtained, encourages a highly intrusive practice that is dangerous to all in involved.”

     

    However, according to The Sun: “Cabbie Sukhcharn Singh, who picked up the Sussexes and Meghan’s mum Doria Ragland, said they ‘obviously didn’t grow up in New York.’ He added: ‘I think that’s all, you know, exaggerated. I don’t think I’d call it a chase.’”

     

    Going further the paper added: “A high-ranking NYPD insider said the chase ‘definitely wasn’t two hours,’ adding its escort had around 20 minutes of interaction with Meghan and Harry’s convoy.”

     

    Speaking to The Guardian, Julian Phillips, NYPD deputy commissioner for public information, observed:

     

    “The NYPD assisted the private security team protecting the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. There were numerous photographers that made their transport challenging. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex arrived at their destination and there were no reported collisions, summonses, injuries, or arrests in regard.”

     

    Tellingly: “Buckingham Palace has declined to comment on the reports,” but, naturally, the meddling mouthpiece Omid Scobie had to get his plastic-not-fantastic face onto the screens to spout salaciously about the non-incident. Speaking to the BBC’s Newsnight – a show that should know better than to bring on this tittle-tattling twerp – the one-time ‘bestie’ of the not-so-glamorous glamour model Jodie Marsh whinged:

     

    “It is impossible not to think of Princess Diana when we hear about car accidents and this kind of aggressive paparazzi chase and so, I was really surprised to hear from sources that not one member of the royal family – including King Charles and Prince William, who are obviously heavily affected by Princess Diana’s death – had not reached out to Prince Harry hours after this news had broken.”

     

    “You know, it was sort of on every single headline around the world. Sadly, that shows the kind of disrepair that that relationship is. It is hard not to forget that Harry was here just a couple of weeks ago for King Charles’s coronation.”

     

    “You would have thought that that may go towards building some kind of path towards reconciliation in some way, but it seems like that’s not felt on the other side and that would no doubt of been a sort of disappointing addition to what had already been a traumatic 12 hours for the couple.”

     

    It is now time for just one further development; it is time for ‘MeGain’ and ‘Has-Been’ to take a taxi to Siberia.

     

    Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

     

    This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Do you believe claims of dopey drip Prince Harry & his mendacious menace wife, the wicked wench formerly known as Meghan Markle, that they spent TWO HOURS being chased around NYC by paparazzi?” By 11:30am on Friday 19th May 2023, the majority of respondents favoured the answer: “No; exaggerated nonsense.”
    On ‘Newsnight’ PR peddling pillock Omid Scobie whined: “It is impossible not to think of Princess Diana when we hear about car accidents and this kind of aggressive paparazzi chase and so, I was really surprised to hear from sources that not one member of the royal family – including King Charles and Prince William, who are obviously heavily affected by Princess Diana’s death – had not reached out to Prince Harry hours after this news had broken. You know, it was sort of on every single headline around the world. Sadly, that shows the kind of disrepair that that relationship is. It is hard not to forget that Harry was here just a couple of weeks ago for King Charles’s coronation. You would have thought that that may go towards building some kind of path towards reconciliation in some way, but it seems like that’s not felt on the other side and that would no doubt of been a sort of disappointing addition to what had already been a traumatic 12 hours for the couple.
    Omid Scobie Newsnight
    Omid Scobie being sent on a media circuit gadabout to bang on about the non-event is further proof that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have well and truly lost the plot. This couple would do well to belt up, wrap up and shut up, but sadly they simply won’t.
    Twitter Berk Prince Harry Matthew Steeples
    On Friday morning, Matthew Steeples observed on Twitter: “Prince Harry is a brain dead berk. Period.” Hundreds of people liked and shared the tweet and thus provided indication of how the public view the Duke and Duchess of Sussex as now nothing but a laughing stock and in the league of the late Duke and Duchess of Windsor; here is a couple who frankly would do better just to give up. Equally, the former Meghan Markle’s decision to accept an award has rightly been called out. Royals should GIVE OUT awards, they SHOULD NOT accept them. Here is another example of the duo’s attitude of “rights over responsibilities” shining through. Shame on the pair of rotten toerags.
    Map of Prince Harry New York chase
    An annotated map, courtesy of a ‘Daily Mail’ report, shows the route the couple took. It proves that their claim of the incident lasting two hours is total twaddle. This ‘storm-in-a-teacup’ is nothing but just that. In attempting to play the Diana, Princess of Wales accident card, all the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have achieved is to make utter fools of themselves. They should be reminded: “When you are in a hole, it is best to stop digging.”

    What’s the truth about the many ‘curious stories’ that abound about the Duchess of Sussex?

    • In November 2021, the duchess was forced to apologise to the Appeal Court in London for making a misleading statement in her privacy case against The Mail on Sunday’s publishers.
    • Her very own father, Thomas, has called out her many untruths about him and others again, again and again.
    • Of her claiming having got married the day before she actually did, Mr Markle stated: “Lying about the archbishop? How can you say: ‘We’ve been married three days before we got married’? Her lies are so obvious, I don’t know why she says them.”
    • Her very own half-sister, Samantha Markle, who is currently bringing a defamation case against her, has called her out as a liar on multiple occasions also. It has been proven that the duchess’s claim that she hasn’t seen her sibling in over 20 years was untrue given a photo of the pair together 14 years ago proves quite to the contrary.
    • Her very own half-brother, Thomas Jr., said of her: “I told Prince Harry, I think she’s going to ruin your life. She’s very shallow… She’s a phony, a bully, a jaded, shallow, conceited woman.”
    • The wife of Prince Harry has been called out on multiple occasions for spinning stories against other members of the royal family, most especially the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Camilla.
    • Staff who’ve worked for her have complained that she is a bully and investigations into this remain ongoing.
    • The Duchess of Sussex is a known manipulator of the press and paparazzis and it has been claimed that she’ll “twist the truth” to get any headline she wants.
    • Questions remain as to how many times she’s actually been married in total. Some say twice, some say thrice.
    • What’s the truth about Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland? Is this clearly equally manipulative woman an honest and decent citizen or is she a jailbird who has spent time in the clink?
    • Did the ‘Montecito Meddler’ meet Prince Andrew or Prince Harry first? Rumours abound that she could have spent time and holidayed with the former as long ago as 2001 and that her claim to have no prior knowledge of the royal family until 2016 is just utter baloney.
    • “Would you trust this woman with a bargepole?” is something often asked of this money motivated minx.

     

  • Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

    As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding

    Normally it’s his boozed-up, ‘mummy figure’ and all-round washed-up wastrel wife Judy Finnigan who makes the headlines for such things as tittie flashing, but, today, motormouthed madman Richard Madeley made headlines in The Sun after ludicrously claiming he “suffered from PTSD after his son’s wedding.”

     

    Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is something defined by the NHS as “anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events” and its causes are listed on their website as such things as:

     

    • Serious road accidents.
    • Violent personal assaults, such as sexual assault, mugging or robbery.
    • Serious health problems.
    • Childbirth experiences.

     

    Though messed-up maniac Madeley soppily suggested worrying about his son’s nuptials had been “so choppy,” his comparison of his situation to such yet again proves this utter nutter to be nothing but a blithering berk. “How very dare he insult those who’ve fought in war zones and survived rape and torture,” commented one especially irate reader in an email to The Steeple Times.

     

    ‘Deranged Dicky’ – Please keep taking your happy pills; you plainly need ‘em, old chap.

     

    Richard Madeley’s ‘finest’ moments

    On his son’s wedding

    “There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”

     

    In conversation with President Clinton

    “I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

     

    Of women

    “I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

     

    On elephants

    “So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

     

    To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

    “Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

     

    In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus

    “We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”

     

    On lockdowns

    “There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”

     

    Of old women skipping

    “There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

     

    Of wanting to be black

    “I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

     

    To Keira Knightley

    “Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

     

    Of an autistic teenager

    “The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

     

    To a caller

    “I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

     

    Richard Madeley Ali G
    When Richard Madeley dressed up as Ali G to present ‘This Morning,’ it was later voted “one of the worst moments in television history,” ‘Digital Spy’ reported.
    Richard Madeley dressed as Judy Finnigan
    On another occasion, attention seeking Madeley dressed up as his very own wife. Clearly, this crackpot’s ‘mummy’ issues are genuinely really an issue.
    Richard Madeley Diana Princess of Wales 1
    In recent days, Twitter users – aside from suggesting it as resembling a cross between Theresa May and Sean Bean – have argued that the new Diana, Princess of Wales actually could be of Richard Madeley. No doubt, television’s ultimate twerp will actually be annoyed that it’s not his name on the statue instead; one could imagine a monument to his ‘genius’ in Trafalgar Square potentially also.
    The telly-box twerp is regularly compared to Alan Partridge and can be relied upon to play the fool at the drop of a hat.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcx3FUarNiI&t=1s
    Alleged shoplifter Madeley’s ‘mummy’ wife, Judy Finnigan, is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended a footballer later convicted of rape by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person… She had far too much to drink.”
  • Ban The E-Scooter in Britain

    Ban The E-Scooter in Britain

    Video of e-scooter turning into fireball illustrates why these dangerous death traps should be completely banned in Britain

    Shared by London cabbie feed @TaxiLeaks on Twitter with their 11,000 followers on Saturday, a video of an e-scooter’s battery smoking and then exploding provides proof yet again that these unregulated nuisance machines must not be allowed on Britain’s roads and pavements.

     

    In their 0:45-second video – accompanied by the caption: “This is the death trap device that Sadiq Khan, Heidi Alexander, Will Norman and TfL are promoting. This is what happens when the battery becomes faulty (apparently a common problem). I’m sure Heidi can explain being deputy Mayor for transport” – illustration was clearly provided of the dangers of these uninsured ‘mobile weapons.’

     

    Elsewhere on our pages previously, The Steeple Times have highlighted other examples of death and destruction caused by these still for the moment mostly illegally used devices. In July 2019, we reported on the case of Ambar Zohra, a foul-mouthed cretin who hit a pedestrian in London’s Walton Street on a pavement on her scooter, just days after another user was killed on such a device on a roundabout in Battersea.

     

    Whilst later, in July 2020, we commented on the government’s decision to trial rentable e-scooters after no doubt being bunged by operations such as the £1.6 billion valued American provider Bird, @TaxiLeaks’ video today again shows whilst it time the UK did to the contrary: It is time to make e-scooters illegal and to banish them from Britain.

     

    E-scooter accident
    Only last month, a man and woman suffered “serious injuries” after riding an e-scooter they were both on hit a VW Golf in Wolverhampton. At the time, the ‘Daily Mail’ remarked: “Evidence is mounting over their safety record, with critics suggesting they make it easier for criminals to whip people’s phones from their hands on the street and make a fast getaway. And in July 2019, TV presenter and YouTube influencer Emily Hartridge was killed while riding her e-scooter in Battersea, London. Hartridge, who was thrown from the scooter on a roundabout, is believed to be the first person to die in the UK in an accident involving an e-scooter. She was later ruled to have been riding too fast with an under-inflated tyre when she was tragically killed in a crash with a lorry. In the UK, two other people are now known to have died using them, while in the United States the number of e-scooter accidents that leave people needing hospital treatment has risen by more than 222 per cent in four years.”
    E-scooter accident
    Yesterday, in the ‘Daily Mail,’ Peter Hitchens wrote of his “near-miss with an idiot on an e-scooter.” He observed: “The point being that if e-scooters become legal, you can expect to see a lot of them careering along a pavement near you. There’s a strong chance that they will crash into you from behind, breaking one or more of your bones. This happened to a three-year-old child in Feltham a few weeks ago, and as far as I know the culprit has not been found. And, while that will itself still be against the law, nobody will do anything about it. For the same reason, they are the perfect tool for those drug couriers who are already swapping their pushbikes for them. Legal businesses such as fast-food delivery, which seem to employ some of the most ruthless people in the world, will also no doubt take advantage. We don’t actually need to find all this out. Cities all over Europe are licking their wounds after legalising e-scooters, especially Paris. Singapore last year more or less banned them after several injuries and fatal accidents, as well as fires in public housing blocks caused by faulty batteries… But Grant Shapps, the Transport Secretary, and the House of Commons Transport Select Committee both seem to have been beguiled by the e-scooter lobby, which appears to mesmerise its victims in much the way that a cobra is said to do.”
  • Monster of the Moment – Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC

    Monster of the Moment – Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC

    Barrister Rebecca Sabben-Clare’s attempt to muzzle the media by citing the Cliff Richard case rather than muzzling her snarling dog shows her to be an utter disgrace

    Those close to the seemingly supposedly “exceptionally bright” yet plainly actually just irresponsible barrister Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC ludicrously claimed Toby, her “snarling” terrier-cross, to be “sweet” and a “friendly pet” in the wake of it savagely causing the death of a “defenceless” seal nicknamed ‘Freddie Mercury.’

     

    Just like giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe, who attempted to justify being gifted the “opportunity” to mercilessly slay an innocent giraffe by her husband for Valentine’s Day, wealthy and “fearless” Sabben-Clare opted to try to silence those outraged in the wake of the incident rather than taking responsibility for what the beast she owns had done.

     

    A selfish self-preservationist rather than a seal conservationist, Sabben-Clare – who lives in a £6 million ‘mansion’ near the scene of her dastardly dog’s sick savagery – didn’t stick around for long to help at the scene of the mauling and later pompously declared: “I left for my own safety and that of my dog… There was nothing that I could do.”

     

    Meanwhile, immediately concerned for her own reputation, Sabben-Clare “instructed lawyers Schillings to bully the media into not naming her.” Of this anything but selfless course of action, Guido Fawkes remarked: “She cited the Cliff Richard case to invoke a supposed right-to-privacy in an attempt to keep her name out of the story.”

     

    Going further, Guido Fawkes continued:

     

    “Rebecca Sabben-Clare set legal dogs Schillings on the press yesterday afternoon to try and cover-up her name, when that didn’t work after the Mail Online named her, Rebecca Sabben-Clare switched tactics and cooperated with a soft-soap PR puff piece telling the Standard:”

     

    “I am heartbroken by this terrible accident. As an animal lover, I fully understand the dismay that has been expressed. I apologise unreservedly for what happened. In hindsight I wish, of course, that the dog had been on a lead but at the time that did not seem necessary.”

     

    “Yet another example of the rich and powerful trying it on with lawyers to muzzle the press. Shame Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC didn’t muzzle her dog. Didn’t work and Schillings have lost again…”

     

    Continuing further of this rotten ratbag, Roll On Friday yesterday reported that Sabben-Clare’s chambers, 7 King’s Bench Walk, had issued a statement about the totally avoidable yet utterly sick incident involving a dangerous dog that should now be put down. Their unnamed spokesman attempted to distance themselves and remarked:

     

    “7 King’s Bench Walk is deeply saddened by the death of a seal by the side of the Thames following an incident involving a self-employed member of Chambers. This was a tragic accident which unfortunately resulted in the death of a lovely wild animal… Please be aware that Rebecca took her own advice in relation to this matter.”

     

    One clear point arises out of this debacle that need never have happened: If Rebecca Sabben-Clare had kept her dog on a lead and controlled it in an area where there were supposedly notices about the seal’s presence, this incident would not have occurred. She should now face the consequences and her dog ought, at the very, be least taken away from her before it harms another animal or a child even.

     

    #NameAndShame #RebeccaSabbenClare #Freddie #JusticeForFreddie

     

    To join the 44,400 people who’ve already supported our Change.org petition seeking to get the giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe banned from Facebook, please click here.

     

    Monster of the Moment – Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC – Barrister Rebecca Sabben-Clare’s attempt to muzzle the media by citing the Cliff Richard case rather than muzzling her snarling dog shows her to be an utter disgrace.
    Responding on Twitter, editor of ‘The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples remarked: “Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC, whose dog savaged an innocent seal because she let it run wild, should hand herself in at her nearest police station and she should hand her bloody dog in also. Shame on her for thinking she can PR her way out of this. The woman is a disgrace.”
    Monster of the Moment – Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC – Barrister Rebecca Sabben-Clare’s attempt to muzzle the media by citing the Cliff Richard case rather than muzzling her snarling dog shows her to be an utter disgrace.
    Furthering her PR campaign, one of Rebecca Sabben-Clare’s neighbours later arrogantly blubbed: “He has no history of this and is super sweet with our dogs. I don’t know the breed. But she (Rebecca) is a nice person. It could happen to anyone.” The injuries to the now tragically deceased seal, Freddie Mercury, prove quite to the contrary.
  • E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

    E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

    As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going

    ‘Doing a Bernie’ became the stock description of a political bung of £1 million in the Blair years and now, in ‘Bosie The Clown’ Britain, it seems ‘a Robert Jenrick’ should be the description for a much cheaper option: A £12,000 donation that allegedly could have “handed Tory donor [Richard Desmond an] extra £106 million.”

     

    Now, at a time when coronavirus deaths look set to once again spike with what is sadly going on in Leicester being our starter-for-ten, our government has decided to put lives at risk in another totally avoidable way. Last night, in announcing that the ban on rentable e-scooters will be lifted on Britain’s roads for 12 months, Tory transport minister Rachel Maclean did just such and now this moronic woman also leaves herself open to questions of sleaze as well.

     

    Under Maclean’s new rules, set to come into play from Saturday, rental scooters will be allowed on roads, but not pavements. Privately owned e-scooters, for now, however, will continue to be illegal.

     

    Opening up a line for substantial profits for those set to own and manage rental e-scooter operations, Maclean is endangering the public quite unnecessarily. Whilst she argues that her scheme will “ease the burden on the transport network… and allow for social distancing,” she neglects to mention that in July last year, YouTuber Emily Hartridge died after being struck by a lorry in Battersea whilst riding an e-scooter on the road. There have been many injuries as a result of accidents caused by these ridiculous contraptions in addition on both roads and pavements.

     

    Last night, in response to the news, registered blind disability awareness campaigner Deborah Farley-Persaud told the BBC: “[E-scooters] are frightening because you can’t hear them and you can’t see them.” Mrs Farley-Pesaud was “injured last year following a collision with an e-scooter” in Old Street and now “does not feel safe to go out.” She added: “They clearly haven’t got any regard for the rules of the road,” whilst previously Colin Wingrove of the Metropolitan Police stated: “Electric scooters should not be on the pavement or the road.”

     

    As was pointed out by Inc. in their winter 2018/2019 edition, one e-scooter rental operator in America, Bird, was alone valued at £1.6 billion. The numbers involved in this new market are potentially colossal and now, in the UK, the questions that need to be answered are:

     

    • “What donations have those who’ll be operating e-scooter rental businesses in Britain given to the Conservative Party to date?”
    • And: “Who’s been Robert Jenrick-ed?”

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

     

    E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
    Rachel Maclean took to Twitter on Tuesday to boast about having “accelerated [e-scooter] trials to provide a safe, fun and zero emission way to travel!” One is left asking: “What really motivated her actions?”
    E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
    Many Twitter users reacted with fury at the decision. One suggested: “A&E is going to be rammed” whilst another argued the “trouble with e-scooters… is the people who ride them.” They added: “Unfortunately there will be deaths because they don’t stick to road rules.”
    E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
    Another tweeted: “This coincides with half the population hitting the pubs with a thirst like a kangaroo’s jockstrap. Excellent.” Another quite rightly pointed out: “They are really dangerous for pedestrians.”
    E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
    In July 2019, ‘The Steeple Times’ reported on a twerp named Ambar Zohra bashing into a pensioner on a scooter in Walton Street, Chelsea. At the time, this foul-mouthed horror was rightly asked by Jane Morris of Percy Bass: “Where do you think you are from? The five floors of whores?”
    E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.
    In August 2019, ‘The Steeple Times’ highlighted an example of a danger on the road on an e-scooter. Of this particular terror, a taxi driver rightly observed: “If I’d hit him, I’d have blood on my hands but he isn’t meant to be there. He is breaking the law purely by his presence. He should be prosecuted and that thing should be confiscated.”
    Emily Hartridge tragically died after being hit by a lorry whilst on her e-scooter in Battersea in July 2019. After such an occurrence, you’d think the government would ban these dangerous contraptions; Conservative minister Rachel Maclean has shamefully gone and done to the contrary.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilNc6WeqCHc
    E-scooters are deservedly disliked contraptions. They are, after all, dangerous and generally operated by irresponsible idiots.
    Vile porn star and alleged sex offender Ron Jeremy “nearly died” on an e-scooter in October 2017.
  • Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick

    Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick

    As art fraudster Inigo Philbrick is arrested and dragged onto a private plane by the FBI, his on-off lover ‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Victoria Baker Harber shows no sympathy for victims; meanwhile fellow art conwoman Angela Gulbenkian has been deservedly detained in Lisbon

    • ‘Mini Madoff’ Inigo Philbrick, ex-Jay Jopling employee and on-off squeeze of gobby ‘Made in Chelsea’ participant Victoria Baker Harber, snared in Vanuatu, Oceania last Friday.
    • Philbrick had bizarrely spent his time as a fugitive from justice petting “abandoned” dogs.
    • Fellow socialite and art fraudster Angela Gulbenkian, whose victims include Chelsea based interior designers Percy Bass, snared on the same day in Lisbon.
    • She traded on her loose connections to one of the richest families in the world, the Gulbenkians. Connected foundations and museums consistently have denied any association with the German born crook.
    • The two con artists are unconnected in terms of their nefarious activities and victims named thus far, but their paths may likely have crossed given the social circles they operated in and around.

    ‘The Talented Mr Philbrick’ was how one art newspaper somewhat cornily lauded Inigo Philbrick in the wake of this dastardly double dealer being exposed as a Madoff of the art world. He was snared in Vanuatu in Oceania last Friday whilst on Tuesday in Lisbon, fellow trader-on-a-well-known-name Angela Gulbenkian was taken into “preventative detention” to be extradited back to the UK.

     

    Speaking to The Steeple Times on Friday, Jane Morris, managing director of acclaimed Walton Street interior designers Percy Bass remarked:

     

    “Angela Gulbenkian came to Percy Bass to get her flat decorated. We did the work, but never got paid. She forged a bank transfer note pretending to be part of the Gulbenkian Foundation. Percy Bass had a judgment against her, but she fled abroad.”

     

    Now, in addition and facing charges relating to a £1.1 million ($1.4 million, €1.2 million or درهم5 million) Kusama pumpkin sculpture and a £115,000 ($142,000, €127,000 or درهم522,000) Warhol print of Queen Elizabeth II and the theft of £50,000 ($62,000, €55,000 or درهم227,000) from a woman named Jacqui Ball, 38-year-old socialite Gulbenkian is ludicrously still claiming to be an “art collector” and linked to what she lists as the “Gulbenkian Private Art Collection” on Instagram. She is, in fact, even by her own admission, the owner of “just three works of art” and the daughter of an optometrist from Munich, Germany.

     

    Angela Ischwang (as this shameless swindler was born) supposedly moved to London in the early 2000s to study politics. She subsequently met and married Duarte Gulbenkian, the great-grand nephew of the one-time richest man in the world Calouste Gulbenkian, and went into the art business in around 2016.

     

    Listing herself as someone who “brokers high end arts works” through “valuable contacts,” this crooked conwoman – whose suggestions of links to the Calouste Gulbenkian Foundation and the Calouste Gulbenkian Foundation have been firmly denied by the trustees of those organisations – Gulbenkian is surprisingly linked to only one dissolved company, Doctor Duve Medical Skin Care Ltd. of Southwark Bridge Road, SE1.

     

    Charged in relation to the Kusama pumpkin sculpture and the money stolen from Ball in May last year, Angela Gulbenkian was released on unconditional bail in September 2019 after appearing at Southwark Crown Court. She then failed to appear in May 2020 and a European Arrest Warrant was issued for her arrest. Now, ‘Awful Ange’ – as an embarrassed former friend told us she now calls her – will be rightly returned to face her comeuppance and this time she’ll be unlikely to get bail.

     

    Philbrick meanwhile – who was until recently subject to ‘Where’s Wally?’ like speculation since having disappeared off the face of the planet after last being seen with his brash Made In Chelsea motormouth on-off lover Victoria Baker Harber in Australia in late 2019 – was found last Friday in Port Vila, Vanuata, an island nation in the South Pacific.

     

    “Grabbed” by a mix of uniformed and ununiformed cops, the “startled” 33-year-old crook and estranged son of museum director Harry Philbrick – was “hustled” into a police car and taken to the local airport reported Artnet News on Wednesday. “A large Gulfstream jet was waiting on the tarmac” and this, “under instructions from the FBI,” flew him to New York.

     

    Facing allegations of theft, misappropriation, borrowing money against artworks he did not even own and selling overlapping shares of artworks, Ponzi-like pillock Philbrick had supposedly been hiding out in a “house of an expat who died in a tragic accident.” Bizarrely, he had been busying his days helping “abandoned” dogs and of him one local remarked: “He was always calling me about an animal he found.”

     

    Now in chains for his crimes against amongst others the Reuben family, Philbrick faces not only a real-life trial but also further exposure in the media. One-time friend, but ultimately a victim of the shameless scammer, art writer, curator and dealer Kenny Schachter this week wrote:

     

    “I have no doubt that Inigo will capitalize on our collective financial misfortune and turn it into a multimedia bonanza for himself. As far as my own movie and documentary projects, for which deals will be announced shortly, all I want and/or expect is that they make good on part of the money Inigo took from me.”

     

    Meanwhile last Sunday, dippy dope Victoria Baker Harber showed no regret for her association with Philbrick – a man who ferried her around in a private jet at the expense of others – in retweeting an attack on Schachter by someone named ‘Koogs’ on Twitter on 14th June. They opined: “Who quotes themselves?? Get over it! Your wife is a billionaire! Are you crying about cash or cock?”

     

    Though at around £16.2 million ($20 million, €17.9 million or درهم73.5 million) Inigo Philbrick’s total scam is far bigger than Angela Gulbenkian’s, the effects are the same for the victims of these high society crooks: May the authorities now chuck the book at this rotten pair of ratbags.

     

    Pictured top – Con artist Angela Gulbenkian appeared at Southwark Crown Court in September 2019 “in a blue dress decorated with silver stars and black Christian Louboutin high heels” according to ‘Metro’ (right); art fraudster Inigo Philbrick poses looking startled as television screen loving terror Victoria Baker Harber attempts to look sexually provocative.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

    Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick – As art fraudster Inigo Philbrick is arrested and dragged onto a private plane by the FBI his on-off lover ‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Victoria Baker Harber shows no sympathy for victims; meanwhile fellow art conwoman Angela Gulbenkian has been deservedly detained in Lisbon.
    Aided by their surnames –Inigo Philbrick duped the art world and the use of the surname he shares with his estranged art curator father certainly aided him in his ‘endeavours’; Angela Gulbenkian traded on her connections to the legendary art collecting, billionaire Gulbenkian family also.
    Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick – As art fraudster Inigo Philbrick is arrested and dragged onto a private plane by the FBI his on-off lover ‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Victoria Baker Harber shows no sympathy for victims; meanwhile fellow art conwoman Angela Gulbenkian has been deservedly detained in Lisbon.
    You’re snared! – A newspaper frontpage chronicling Inigo Philbrick’s detainment; social media users mocked the former fugitive with one joking: “OK bye now!”
    Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick – As art fraudster Inigo Philbrick is arrested and dragged onto a private plane by the FBI his on-off lover ‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Victoria Baker Harber shows no sympathy for victims; meanwhile fellow art conwoman Angela Gulbenkian has been deservedly detained in Lisbon.
    The ultimate deceiver – In March, Angela Gulbenkian posted an image accompanied by the caption: “Life is art!” on her Instagram page. She hashtagged it with amongst other things #letsgofar and #successfulwomen, but neglected to add the truth about herself: “My life is the art of deception!” is what it should have read.
    Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick – As art fraudster Inigo Philbrick is arrested and dragged onto a private plane by the FBI his on-off lover ‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Victoria Baker Harber shows no sympathy for victims; meanwhile fellow art conwoman Angela Gulbenkian has been deservedly detained in Lisbon.
    No sympathy for Philbrick’s victims – Victoria Baker Harber took to Twitter on 14th June to retweet an unpleasant comment mocking one of her on-off lover Inigo Philbrick’s victims, Kenny Schachter.
    Made In Deception – Gulbenkian and Philbrick – As art fraudster Inigo Philbrick is arrested and dragged onto a private plane by the FBI his on-off lover ‘Made in Chelsea’s’ Victoria Baker Harber shows no sympathy for victims; meanwhile fellow art conwoman Angela Gulbenkian has been deservedly detained in Lisbon.
    Living the high life – Inigo Philbrick liked private jets and swilling champagne in the company of amongst others Victoria Baker Harber; he’s now getting used to porridge.
  • Lockdown The Gin

    Lockdown The Gin

    With neighbours putting gin and tonics on each other’s doorsteps during the COVID-19 lockdown, we select the most amusing quotes about this fine spirit

    In a letter, published in The Telegraph on Tuesday, one Madeline Glancy remarked:

     

    SIR – Every Friday in lockdown, my neighbour has left a delicious gin and tonic at my front door. Beats tinned tomatoes hands down.

    Madeline Glancy

    Prestwich, Lancashire

     

    If only if all neighbours were so community minded.

     

    Some of the best quotes about gin follow for your amusement:

    Not so strangely, most of them are without citation – probably due to the fact that they were likely made when their originators were suitably imbibed in juniper flavoured heaven.

     

    “Let the evening beGIN!” – Anon.

     

    “I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic” –the well-known gin lover and husband of Margaret Thatcher, Denis Thatcher.

     

    “Life is too short for single gins” – Anon.

     

    “Red meat and gin” – America’s answer to Keith Floyd, Julia Child, on the reason for her longevity.

     

    “I love water, especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin” – Anon.

     

    “I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast” – American actor and comedian W. C. Fields.

     

    “Gin-drinking is a great vice in England, but wretchedness and dirt are a greater [vice]” – Charles Dickens, Sketches (1836).

     

    “When life gives you juniper, make gin!” – Holistic health author Laurie Buchanan.

     

    “Don’t cry over spilt milk, it could’ve been gin” – Anon.

     

    Night school tutor: “Write a horror story in six words.”

    Student: “I-have-run-out-of-gin” – Anon.

     

    “A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy” – Noël Coward.

     

    “The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived” – American historian Bernard DeVoto.

     

    “The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire” – Winston Churchill.

     

    “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine” – Humphrey Bogart as Rick in Casablanca (1942).

     

    “Gym? I thought you said: ‘Gin’” – Anon.

     

    “The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron” – Comedian Phyllis Diller.

     

    “Stop saying I’m hard to buy for… You know where the gin aisle is” – Anon.

     

    “You’d learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news” – American radio personality Garrison Keillor.

     

    “Fortunately there is gin, the sole glimmer in this darkness. Do you feel the golden, copper-coloured light it kindles in you? I like walking through the city of an evening in the warmth of gin” – French philosopher and journalist Albert Camus.

     

    “I tried to say no to gin… But it’s 40% stronger than me” – Anon.

     

    “I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody” – Dr. Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

     

    “Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin” – British barrister and detective story author Sarah Cockburn (pseudonym Sarah Caudwell).

     

    “According to chemists, gin IS a solution” – Anon.

     

    “Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs” – The reply of T. S. Eliot when asked about inspiration.

     

    “It’s always gin o’clock” – Anon.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

  • Caramelized

    Caramelized

    Frontage of former La Brasserie premises in South Kensington – now Caramel – burnt to a crisp

     

    Last night, at around 3.30am, the frontage of Caramel on Brompton Road in South Kensington went up in flames.

     

    Situated on Brompton Cross within the former premises of the much loved and now much missed La Brasserie, the new restaurant’s Christmas decorations, awnings and entrance door suffered the brunt of the damage. Flames, however, also caused further damage to the exterior of apartments on the four floors of the building above – where occupants include the Bullitt actress Jacqueline Bisset.

     

    Caramelized – Former La Brasserie (now Caramel) suffers fire – Frontage of former La Brasserie premises in South Kensington – now Caramel – burnt to a crisp on morning of 6th December 2018.
    The restaurant’s Christmas decorations prior to the fire

     

    A police officer guarding the exterior of the building on Monday morning told The Steeple Times: “We do not yet know what started the fire and are awaiting investigators to arrive.”

     

    A passerby added: “We all miss La Brasserie but this is tragic for a new business at this time of year.” Another, in contrast, remarked: “It’s rather ironic that Caramel’s mission statement is: ‘Have you been Caramelized?’ isn’t it? This place certainly has.”

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

    Caramelized – Former La Brasserie (now Caramel) suffers fire – Frontage of former La Brasserie premises in South Kensington – now Caramel – burnt to a crisp on morning of 6th December 2018.Caramelized – Former La Brasserie (now Caramel) suffers fire – Frontage of former La Brasserie premises in South Kensington – now Caramel – burnt to a crisp on morning of 6th December 2018.Caramelized – Former La Brasserie (now Caramel) suffers fire – Frontage of former La Brasserie premises in South Kensington – now Caramel – burnt to a crisp on morning of 6th December 2018.

  • Moscow Nights

    Moscow Nights

    John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone

     

    Described as: “An engaging yarn with a strong, sometimes mischievous autobiographical element” by The Sunday Times, esteemed foreign correspondent John Simpson launched his second novel at Daunt Books in Marylebone last night.

     

    Moscow Nights – John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone
    John Simpson and Claire Rubinstein

     

    Amongst those present to celebrate the occasion were – in from New York – financier Marcel Croome, Brexit campaigner Gina Miller and her hedge fund titan husband Alan, the Daily Mail’s Alexis Parr and social media guru Claire Rubinstein. As drinks flowed, guests admired Daunt Books’ clever displays and many copies of Simpson’s book – a topical tale based around espionage and skulduggery titled Moscow, Midnight – were sold to a most enthusiastic gathering.

     

    To purchase a copy, click here.

     

    Moscow Nights – John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone
    Alan Miller, Gina Miller, Claire Rubinstein and Matthew Steeples

    Moscow Nights – John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone
    Daunt Books was packed for the occasion

    Moscow Nights – John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone
    Claire Rubinstein and Marcel Croome

    Moscow Nights – John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone
    Matthew Steeples, Claire Rubinstein and friends

    Moscow Nights – John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone
    Marcel Croome, Claire Rubinstein and Alexis Parr

     

    Description – MP Patrick Macready has been found dead in his flat. The coroner rules it an accident, a sex game gone wrong.

     

    Jon Swift is from the old stock of journos – cynical, cantankerous and overweight – and something about his friend’s death doesn’t seem right. Then days after Macready’s flat is apparently burgled, Swift discovers that his friend had been researching a string of Russian government figures who had met similarly ‘accidental’ fates.

     

    When the police refuse to investigate further, Swift gets in touch with his contacts in Moscow, determined to find out if his hunch is correct. Following the lead, he is soon drawn into a violent underworld, where whispers of conspiracies, assassinations and double-agents start blurring the line between friend and foe.

     

    But the truth will come at a price, and it may cost him everything.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

  • Mad Cats

    Mad Cats

    That a Conservative MP is bringing a bill to force drivers who hit cats to go to the police at this time is quite ludicrous

     

    Rehman Chisthi, the Conservative MP for Gillingham and Rainham, is a man who likes to champion the most odd causes.

     

    A Brexit enthusiast and frequently criticised for “advancing Saudi Arabia’s interests while at the same time being on the pay-roll of a Saudi think-tank,” Chisthi is currently sponsoring what is known as the Cats Bill 2017 – 2019.

     

    In summary, the Bill seeks to “require the driver of a mechanically propelled vehicle involved in an accident resulting in injury or death to a cat to stop and give information or report the accident to the police; to require the keepers of certain cats to ensure they are microchipped; and for connected purposes.”

     

    Aside from being bizarre, is this really something that Parliament – at time when our nation is in crisis – should be prioritising? We most definitely think not.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes