The Steeple Times

Category: Supermarkets

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  • Gobby Monroe v Gobby Anderson– What Came Next In Promised Libel Action?

    Gobby Monroe v Gobby Anderson– What Came Next In Promised Libel Action?

    A year-to-the-day on Matthew Steeples asks: “Whatever became of the libel suit of gobby Jack Monroe v gobby Lee Anderson MP?”

    Exactly a year ago to the day, on the 16th May 2022, the nauseatingly noxious ‘food poverty campaigner’ Jack Monroe promised to sue the nauseatingly noxious Tory twerp ‘30p Lee’ Lee Anderson MP for libel.

     

    In the time since, using crowdfunding platforms and most likely the ‘tip jar’ ‘she/it’ continually bangs on about, Monroe has supposedly raked in funds to ‘support’ such an action. In one way, that would be understandable as Anderson – now quite ridiculously elevated to the position of deputy chairman of the Conservative Party – is quite frankly one of the deservedly most hated politicians in Britain; in another way, it most definitely isn’t given Monroe is equally grating and grim. Here is a case where, most definitely, both sides deserve to lose.

     

    As she trended this morning on Twitter, I asked: “Exactly a year ago, gobby campaigner Jack Monroe promised legal against gobby Tory MP ‘30p Lee’ Lee Anderson. She supposedly crowdfunded to aid her in this ‘endeavour’ but no filing appears to have been made. Should she come clean and return funds raised?” By 11:30am on Tuesday 16th May 2023, the very, very clear majority of the 536 responses to date, 65.1% in fact, were unsurprisingly: “Yes; outrageous behaviour.” Another 25.7% took the view: “Yes; it was just a stunt.”

     

    I’m left with just one question: “Isn’t it time Jack Monroe explained herself and isn’t it time ‘she/it’ explained what has happened to money given in good faith towards a libel action against Lee Anderson that has still failed to materialise?”

     

    Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

     

    This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Exactly a year ago, gobby campaigner Jack Monroe promised legal against gobby Tory MP ‘30p Lee’ Lee Anderson. She supposedly crowdfunded to aid her in this ‘endeavour’ but no filing appears to have been made. Should she come clean and return funds raised?” By 11:30am on Tuesday 16th May 2023, the very, very clear majority of responses were unsurprisingly: “Yes; outrageous behaviour.”
    In a video uploaded to YouTube on 20th May 2022 by the media outlet ‘Tortoise’ featuring an interview with her, Monroe enthusiastically declared: “I have instructed libel proceedings. I am limited to what I can say in public about that whole situation now… It is on the record… I am, I am sending a legal letter letting him know that what he said was libelous and defamatory and has contributed to the downfall of what I have, what I have of a ‘reputation.’ And that he might want to reconsider his stance publicly and to all the agitators and instigators of that… I have instructed lawyers and we are in touch. Unfortunately, my lawyer decided to go off and get married this week; it’s a bit rude. Yeah, it’s been being planned for a few years, but he could have timed it better.”
    Criticism
    Social media users reacted to the threat of the libel action issued during the ‘Tortoise’ interview by making comments that included: “So, Jack Monroe has initiated legal action against Anderson and Daubney? (11 min) Yet they confirm receiving no letter before action. She’s a complete fraud and should run out of the charitable sector, as well as the media.” Others added: “What a charlatan” and “I hope Lee Anderson wipes the floor with her.”
    Questions Lee Anderson legal action
    Yesterday, ‘GB News’ presenter Martin Daubney stated: “Jack now needs to answer questions about the missing funds for her non-existent legal case against us.” Within two minutes, Monroe had responded: “They’re not missing; they’re exactly where they’ve always been, and I’m doing exactly what I said I’d do with it. (I’m quiet because I have a very full and pleasant life outside of Twitter!)
    Suicide potato Jack Monroe
    Is there anyone Monroe doesn’t want to have a pop at? Her own family even are ‘fair game’ for her bile, it seems. In July 2020, ‘she’ declared: “My brother was in the RAF last time we spoke, a couple of Christmases ago, when he described Iain Duncan Smith as the best thing to happen to this country and told me I had chosen to have a baby outside of marriage so deserved everything I got. It’s fair to describe us as ‘estranged’ these days” in a bizarre rant about potatoes and their link to suicide.
    Tin Can Cook spaghetti
    In August last year, a Monroe recipe that involved rinsing canned spaghetti hoops of their accompanying tomato sauce, microwaving, microwaving a bit more and adding butter, oil, cheese and a pinch of pepper trended on Twitter. It was hardly revolutionary, helpful or intelligently thought out and though the mouth of the south thought it amusing to call it the work of a ‘Tin Can Cook,’ all it did was make her look like a buffoon and a berk.
    Michael-Portillo
    Michael Portillo very effectively shut down the ‘Thrifty Kitchen’ author in May 2019 when he forced her to step down from supporting ‘milkshaking’ right-wing politicians by asking if she’d do the same to centrist and left-wing figures. She had to pathetically concede: “Oh, OK… I condemn it.”
    Thrifty-Kitchen
    ‘Thrifty Kitchen’ was torn to shreds when it was published in January 2023 and mocked as “complete drivel.” Ideas for using fluff and water from tumble dryers – devices that anyone cutting back on costs would have already have stopped using during the cost-of-living crisis given how expensive they are to operate – were slammed as were Monroe’s thoughts on towels. To save money, the whack job stated: “Both me and my son can dry our entire bodies after a shower with a hand towel and a bit of vigorous application.” She laughably then added: “I have actually already perfected this down to the humble flannel.” Quite frankly, this nonsense was called out for the gibberish it truly was and will forever remain.
    Jamie-Oliver
    “Cooks cook” Jamie Oliver has done more to help those struggling to feed their families than most. That he has been repeatedly attacked by a self-declared acid tongued “freelance food-and-politics-gob” who once crassly had a pop at David Cameron after the death of his son – she shockingly claimed “he uses stories about his dead son as misty-eyed rhetoric to legitimise selling our NHS to his friends” – is indicative of the lowbrow tendencies of the person making such attacks.
    Keith-Floyd
    If the Southend-on-Sea born daughter of David Hadjicostas MBE and Evelyn Hadjicostas wanted people to like her a bit more, why doesn’t she adopt the humour of the late, great council house estate born Keith Floyd. Here was a legend – from the very same humble beginnings she claims to be from – who enjoyed life to the full and who cooked simple yet delicious food that brought joy to millions. Some positivity and joie de vivre might actually get her somewhere.
    Julia-Child
    Equally, the late, great Julia Child could also inspire better things of Monroe. This Pasadena, California born ex-Office of Strategic Services worker once stated: “I believe in cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.” Reading the works of a true cooking legend like this might provide the Moaning Minnie former call handler for Essex County Fire and Rescue Services with something to actually enthuse about.
    Big-Zuu-Zuhair-Hassan
    If the author of ‘A Girl Called Jack’ would only pay attention to the words of the wonderful young man that is Big Zuu, she might be more widely appreciated. In 2020, this rapper turned inspirational cooking sensation remarked: “’Big Zuu’s Big Eats’ is the show for people who don’t live near a Waitrose or who can’t afford to go to one. I’m a massive fan of all cooking programmes, but I think this show stands out as we’re sourcing the food from local shops rather than big chains. I’m hoping it proves to people, especially in my generation, that cooking can be a fun and affordable experience. A lot of people I know can’t be bothered to cook and think it costs too much so they’d rather just get fast food. Hopefully, ‘BZBE’s’ can change that for some people.”

    Jack Monroe likes to pick fights; amongst those she’s had a pop at are…

    When ‘she’s’ not living-it-up with I’m A Celebrity bestie of Stanley Johnson, Georgia Toffolo, aside from myself, Jack Monroe has variously kept herself busy launching warbling words of war against:

     

    • Lee Anderson MP.
    • The Right Honourable David Cameron and his deceased child.
    • The Conservative Party – with their members in Bath being particularly high up on her list of ire.
    • Germaine Greer.
    • Katie Hopkins.
    • The Labour Party.
    • Jamie Oliver.
    • Michael Portillo.
    • The late The Right Honourable The Baroness Thatcher LG OM DStJ PC FRS HonFRSC.
    • The Right Honourable Liz Truss MP.
    • And many members of the Twitterati… And many, many others elsewhere.

     

  • Moron of the Moment 2022 – Grim Grifter Jack Monroe

    Moron of the Moment 2022 – Grim Grifter Jack Monroe

    The elevation of busybody-bore and all-round grim grifter Jack Monroe by ‘The Grocer’ represents a pinnacle in pointlessness claims Matthew Steeples

    “A grifter’s gotta grift” has become a firm favourite phrase in 2022 and today the ultimate example of such, the vitriolic viper that is Jack Monroe, is again trending on Twitter.

     

    This time ludicrously ‘elevated’ to “Hero of the Year” by The Grocer in an article by some nitwit named Harry Holmes, the petulant pest whom once wrote to me to tell me “I want no association with your sh*t” was then quite deservedly slammed on Twitter as a “grifter” and a “constant liar” akin to the mendacious menace formerly known as Meghan Markle.

     

    Though laughably made out to be “an essential voice for thousands” and someone “reduced to tears” by Asda supposedly caving in after she tweeted about them not having stocked enough “value” products by ‘most definitely not Sherlock’ Holmes, Monroe was condemned as someone who’d “best make up some fresh lies and manipulate people to donate to my tip jar” by another going by the name of @Scbusiness4.

     

    Going further, another member of the Twitterati going by the handle @SevenSeasSoBlue surmised the situation best. They tweeted: “At first I thought Jack Monroe was an idealistic spirit, a bit scatterbrained, a bit drama queen, but that her heart was essentially in the right place and that she did some good. Then I got alerted (thanks @AwfullyMolly!) and now I see what a scam artist she was.”

     

    Elsewhere yesterday, in an especially telling feature, a blogger going by the aforementioned name ‘Awfully Molly #bekindnotblind’ shared her thoughts on the matter. She highlighted allegations that Monroe’s supposed donations to charities including the Trussell Trust had not amounted to quite what she had herself suggested.

     

    Amusingly also, ‘Awfully Molly’ highlighted that Monroe had also tweeted fake news in April when she recommended a book titled Georgia Church Suppers in April when attempting to ‘support’ the people of Ukraine. The book was about food in Georgia in America and not Georgia, the country in eastern Europe.

     

    ‘Awfully Molly’ added: “When this was called out, initially Jack just deleted the tweet and reposted it without including the book from Georgia. Several months later, she claimed that it had been a mistake due to a lack of geographical knowledge.”

     

    “It may not seem important, although it is another example of Jack being flesxible with the truth, but it demonstrates Jack not taking responsibility for the influence and platform she has, or showing respect to her followers.”

     

    In August this year, the mouthy menace Monroe was quite rightly condemned after patronising the poor by telling those on a budget to “tip [canned] spaghetti hoops into a sieve and gently rinse them to get rid of the tomato sauce” and then microwave and “enjoy immediately” with “a pinch of pepper.” In 2023, we can only hope for one thing and that is to not hear from this braindead bore; sadly that’ll most certainly not happen.

     

    Pictured top – Jack Monroe: A person of very confusing identity – who has variously been “non-binary” and going by “they/them” and “she/her pronouns,” “gay,” “genderqueer,” “lezzer” and “cisgender lesbian” according to Wikipedia – likes to fight utterly anyone. In 2018, she got into a spat with Bath Conservatives after they quite rightly called out parents who “don’t know how to feed their children” as “indolent.”

     

    Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

     

    Liz Truss Margaret Thatcher
    In August this bombastic bore bizarrely turned her attention to examining Liz Truss’s name and banged on about Margaret Thatcher and Theresa May also. Jack Monroe as a conspiracy theorist is one thing, but Miss Marple she most certainly ain’t as this rabid rant most definitely proves.

    Twitter reacts to the feckless food bank forager being elevated by ‘The Grocer’…

  • Hero of the Hour 2022 – Crusading £1 Per Head Chef Miguel Barclay

    Hero of the Hour 2022 – Crusading £1 Per Head Chef Miguel Barclay

    In actually showing the British public how to actually cook a meal costing no more than £1 per head, TV chef Miguel Barclay contributes something useful whereas the likes of food bank fighters Lee Anderson MP and Jack Monroe continue just to carp

    Whilst mouthy menace Jack Monroe and Tory twerp Lee Anderson MP respectively showed themselves as pugnacious, pathetic pillocks in May this year during their stupendously stupid spat over food poverty in Britain, thoughtful television chef and author Miguel Barclay has actually done something helpful and written not just one but seven books filled with £1 per head meals.

     

    Unlike the bombastic bully and bore Monroe and the ludicrous “[people] can make a meal for about 30p a day” prat Anderson, what innovative Barclay does is to provide sensible food savings tips that are actually both practical and useful.

     

    Amongst them are to “cook from scratch” and end up with “receipts that should read like an ingredients list and not a menu” when you leave the supermarket. “It needs to say ‘onion, tomato, garlic, and not ‘pasta sauce,’” he adds and “even things like carrot batons – you shouldn’t have the word ‘batons’ there.”

     

    “Buy the basics” and “cook in bulk” are two of his other suggestions and today we urge readers to follow this sensible chap’s advice and learn to eat better for less… And before you forget, always look out for the ‘yellow stickers’ when in anywhere from Asda to Waitrose.

     

    To purchase ‘Storecupboard One Pound Meals: 85 Delicious and Affordable Recipes’ via Amazon, click here. The book is the 6th in the £1 series and a 7th titled ‘Green One Pound Meals’ is available to pre-order by clicking here.

     

    RECIPES BY MIGUEL BARCLAY

    Featured in The Sun earlier this week, Barclay shared a number of £1 per head recipes with the paper’s Hayley Minn, amongst them:

     

    Cheese and Potato Hotpot (pictured top right)

    “I’m using cheddar here but you can totally throw in any other interesting cheeses that you have got lurking in the fridge.”

     

    “This dish is a great template for using up other leftovers, too. Imagine adding some layers of Sunday’s roast chicken or a few slices of ham like I have here.”

     

    To make one portion, you need:

    • 2 potatoes, very thinly sliced.
    • 1 onion, very thinly sliced.
    • A couple of slices of cooked ham, torn into chunks.
    • A big handful of cheddar cheese, grated.
    • Salt and pepper.
    • 1 teaspoon dried oregano.
    • Olive oil.

     

    Method:

    • Preheat oven to 190C/170 fan/gas 5.
    • Grab an ovenproof dish and start by adding a layer of potato slices, then onion slices and ham, then cheese, with a little salt and pepper and a pinch of oregano.
    • Repeat four or five times until the dish is full to the top and finish with a layer of potatoes.
    • Drizzle over a little olive oil and bake in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the top layer is golden brown and all the potatoes are cooked.

     

    Prawn Fried Rice

    “The secret to this dish is the sesame oil, which replicates the authentic Chinese flavour that home-cooked dishes often lack. So, why not buy yourself a bottle, transform your cooking, stop ordering take-aways and save yourself a fortune?”

     

    To make one portion, you need:

    • 1 mug of water.
    • ½ mug of long-grain rice.
    • Sesame oil.
    • Handful of cooked and peeled prawns.
    • 1 egg.
    • 2 spring onions, chopped.
    • Soy sauce.

     

    Method:

    • In a saucepan, bring the water and rice to the boil, cover and simmer gently.
    • When the rice is cooked and has absorbed all the water, tip it into a bowl and allow to cool to room temperature (or refrigerate).
    • When the rice is cold, heat a wok (or large saucepan) over a high heat and add a splash of sesame oil along with the rice.
    • As the rice starts to fry – keep stirring so that it doesn’t burn at the bottom – add the prawns.
    • Scoop everything to one side of the pan and crack the egg into the empty side.
    • Start to fry the egg and, once it is half-cooked, scramble it with a wooden spoon and mix it in with the rice.
    • Add the chopped spring onions and a final splash of sesame oil.
    • Then mix it all together over the heat and serve in a bowl with a splash of soy sauce.

     

    Lee Anderson MP and Jack Monroe food war
    Finger-wagging Conservative Lee Anderson MP was called out by self-appointed “humble food blogger” and “potty-mouthed activist” Jack Monroe in May this year after suggesting people could “make a meal for about 30p a day.” He responded: ““She’s taking money off of some of the most vulnerable in society and making an absolute fortune off of the back of people. You know, it’s her that’s rich. I’m not rich… No, I was dragged up in Huthwaite. As you know, I’ve worked down the pit all my life, didn’t have two ha’pennies to rub together.”
  • Wonderful Wise Waitrose – Supermarket Sensibly Scraps Best-Before Dates On 500 Fresh Products

    Wonderful Wise Waitrose – Supermarket Sensibly Scraps Best-Before Dates On 500 Fresh Products

    In scrapping best-before dates on 500 fresh products, Waitrose has seen sense and will help reduce food waste; they should be saluted, but what will ‘went-off-at-birth’ Waitrose-hater Owen Jones have to say?

    Whilst most people sensibly lauded Waitrose for announcing they will be scrapping the inclusion of best-before dates on some 500 fresh food products from September, the public still await a reaction from the supermarket’s number one hater, the eternally ‘angry man’ Owen Jones.

     

    Of the move, Marija Rompani, director of sustainability and ethics at John Lewis Partnership, which owns Waitrose, this morning announced:

     

    “Best-before dates are designed to show food quality rather than how safe it is to eat.”

     

    “By removing best before dates from our products, we want our customers to use their own judgment to decide whether a product is good to eat or not, which in turn will increase its chances of being eaten and not becoming waste.”

     

    “By using up existing fresh food in our homes, we can also save on our weekly household food shop, which is becoming an increasingly pressing concern for many.”

     

    “UK households throw away 4.5 million tonnes of edible food every year, meaning that all the energy and resources used in food production is wasted.”

     

    Catherine David, director of collaboration and change at Waste & Resources Action Programme (WRAP) added:

     

    “Best before dates on fruit and veg are unnecessary and create food waste because they get in the way of people using their judgement when food is still good to eat.”

     

    “We are absolutely delighted by this move… which will help stop good food ending up in the bin.”

     

    “We estimate that removing dates on fresh fruit and veg could save the equivalent of seven million shopping baskets of food from the bin, which is huge.”

     

    Rivals Tesco removed best-before dates on 100 fresh products in 2018 whilst Marks & Spencer did the same on 300 products in their range in July this year.

     

    Now, today, we join those calling on Apple watch wearing hypocrite Owen Jones to do the decent thing; it’s time for him to come out and celebrate the wisdom of the wonderful and anything-but-wasteful Waitrose.

     

    Pictured top – It’s ‘bye bye’ to irrational dates that just encourage people to bin perfectly good food from September at Britain’s smartest supermarket (left) whilst the eternally bitter Corbynite creep Jones (right) – a mouse-not-a-man who undoubtedly “went off” at birth – has yet to comment on this piece of extremely positive news.

     

    On Twitter, Matthew Steeples offered up a poll asking how ‘The Guardian’s’ nastiest piece of work would react to the news of the positive decision by Britain’s best supermarket. Previously, in April this year, a former columnist on the paper, Suzanne Moore, declared of Jones: “Owen Jones has long been very angry with me, and it’s not really to do with trans people at all. (There were trans people at many of those parties he attended – that’s how Terfy I am.) Trans people are merely pawns in his proxy war, and they deserve far better representatives. His real problem with me was that I did not support Corbyn or those who surrounded him. I didn’t feel it was my duty to get this deluded old fool elected. But Owen, with his zillions of Twitter followers, thought otherwise and became increasingly hostile to me. I may have been rude in my responses, but my animus against that part of the media isn’t personal: it’s about class. Owen went to Oxford and was a bag carrier in Westminster before being handed a national newspaper column. So many of these hard-Left types have no life experience and it shows. I was reminded of that recently when Jones went on some mad rant, posting 33 tweets about me. Way to go, mate, if you don’t want to look obsessive and harassing. He wanted to rebut the idea that he had anything to do with me leaving ‘The Guardian.’ The boring details are this: I chose to leave. I was not fired, but I found it intolerable to be censored for relatively mild views. I have never claimed to be cancelled or silenced. Do I think Owen was responsible for getting my “colleagues” to gang up and write a letter denouncing me? I can’t say. I certainly think he was responsible for creating the toxic atmosphere in which it happened. But he denies it and claims the letter was never about me, even though it was leaked to his mate Patrick Strudwick at ‘Buzzfeed,’ who strangely seemed to think it was. No need to go into all that again. I wrote at length about it here without once mentioning the twerp’s name. But suffice it to say that in 30 years of journalism, no one has spoken to me the way he did. Of course, anyone on Twitter will be aware he does this on a regular basis to women. That is why #OwenJonesIsAMisogynist started to trend this week, after ‘Private Eye’ reported that an independent investigator brought in by ‘The Guardian’ had upheld a complaint of bullying made against him by a female columnist, and that he is yet to face punishment.”

    Reactions to the brilliant best-before decision on Twitter

    Tweet 1
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  • Monroe v Anderson 2022 – Mouthy Menace v Mouthy Menace

    Monroe v Anderson 2022 – Mouthy Menace v Mouthy Menace

    As mouthy menace Jack Monroe threatens to sue mouthy menace Lee Anderson MP, Matthew Steeples suggests the only winner will be the laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers; why don’t these tiresome attention seekers forget Monroe v Anderson and have a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver instead?

    Frankly nothing but naff Jack Monroe recently described equally nothing but naff Lee Anderson MP as a “white, rich, privileged male.” Anderson responded by stating: “She’s taking money off of some of the most vulnerable in society and making an absolute fortune off of the back of people. You know, it’s her that’s rich. I’m not rich… No, I was dragged up in Huthwaite. As you know, I’ve worked down the pit all my life, didn’t have two ha’pennies to rub together.”

     

    Now, with self-declared “I am just a humble food blogger answerable only to my 12-year-old son” Monroe – whose latest moaning missive included her wailing that “I don’t fit in amongst my foodie peers, am too coarse and unusual for television, undervalued financially because of my gender and background” – claiming that the Conservative MP for Ashfield in Nottinghamshire’s comments about her were a “very clear cut case of outright libel,” this all-over-the-shop nuisance simply yet again proves herself a total attention seeker.

     

    Having commenced her attack dog mode with first Jamie Oliver in August 2013 for his perfectly reasonable attempts to educate the British public about how to “knock out” amazing Italian style food “on not much money,” meddling Monroe now is at a war with Anderson over his frankly “foolish and objectionable [and] philosophically unconservative” suggestions about food banks.

     

    Though Monroe is right to have a pop at that this Tory twerp after he ludicrously suggested that he believes people “can make a meal for about 30p a day… cooking from scratch,” her decision to take him to court is simply ridiculous. Aside from simply being just seen as another attempt for her to up her public profile, the only winners in this court case will be laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers who most definitely will never, ever need to go anywhere near a foodbank.

     

    Instead, why don’t these two get a kitchen together and partake in a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver? That’d be far better television and the insults of the pugnacious pair of mouthy menaces would definitely be car-crash-like viewing. Stir it up!

     

    Pictured top – Finger-wagging Tory twerp Lee Anderson MP (left) and potty-mouthed ‘activist’ Jack Monroe (right); they would do better to forget the costly court action of Monroe v Anderson and work together and instead help those actually in need.

     

    Jamie Oliver
    “Cooks cook” Jamie Oliver has done more to help those struggling to feed their families than most. That he has been repeatedly attacked by a self-declared acid tongued “freelance food-and-politics-gob” who once crassly had a pop at David Cameron after the death of his son – she shockingly claimed “he uses stories about his dead son as misty-eyed rhetoric to legitimise selling our NHS to his friends” – is indicative of the lowbrow tendencies of the person making such attacks.
    Keith Floyd
    If the Southend-on-Sea born daughter of David Hadjicostas MBE and Evelyn Hadjicostas wanted people to like her a bit more, why doesn’t she adopt the humour of the late, great council house estate born Keith Floyd. Here was a legend – from the very same humble beginnings she claims to be from – who enjoyed life to the full and who cooked simple yet delicious food that brought joy to millions. Some positivity and joie de vivre might actually get her somewhere.
    Julia Child
    Equally, the late, great Julia Child could also inspire better things of Monroe. This Pasadena, California born ex-Office of Strategic Services worker once stated: “I believe in cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.” Reading the works of a true cooking legend like this might provide the Moaning Minnie former call handler for Essex County Fire and Rescue Services with something to actually enthuse about.
    Big Zuu Zuhair Hassan
    If the author of ‘A Girl Called Jack’ would only pay attention to the words of the wonderful young man that is Big Zuu, she might be more widely appreciated. In 2020, this rapper turned inspirational cooking sensation remarked: “’Big Zuu’s Big Eats’ is the show for people who don’t live near a Waitrose or who can’t afford to go to one. I’m a massive fan of all cooking programmes, but I think this show stands out as we’re sourcing the food from local shops rather than big chains. I’m hoping it proves to people, especially in my generation, that cooking can be a fun and affordable experience. A lot of people I know can’t be bothered to cook and think it costs too much so they’d rather just get fast food. Hopefully, ‘BZBE’s’ can change that for some people.”
  • Easter in January at Waitrose

    Easter in January at Waitrose

    Waitrose started promoting Easter merchandise on the 2nd January; Easter Sunday is not until 17th April and naturally ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ mentality kicked in on social media

    Waitrose presents itself as a supermarket for the sophisticated. It’s more the kind of place you’d expect to find Jennifer Aldridge of The Archers than perhaps, say, Gail Platt of Coronation Street, but now the retailer to royalty has been slammed online after “going after the chav market.”

     

    On the 2nd January – a supposed ‘day of rest’ when the no doubt still pissed-up public were no doubt still recovering from their Christmas and New Year bingeing hangovers – one Rebecca Norton-Gray uploaded two images of merchandising in an unnamed store to Facebook and assiduously captioned them: “No, no, no, no. Today. Waitrose (South Coast).”

     

    The pictures shared featured Cadbury’s Mini Eggs and Lindt chocolate bunnies and were accompanied by signage reading: “Easter: Sunday 17th April.”

     

    Clearly joining the somewhat flustered Ms Norton-Gray in being not as enthusiastic for another holiday fest as the management of that particular store, other members of the ‘Overheard in Waitrose’ Facebook group reacted with equal shock, fury and amazement.

     

    Another member of the nigh on 21,000 strong group, Abi Lewis, described the marketing of Easter 105 days early as “mental” and added: “On Christmas Eve… they were taking down the Christmas shelving and filling up with Easter eggs and Easter bits” whilst an especially militant ‘Catherine McG’ proposed action and declared: “Too soon. Melt them.” What is she proposing to do? Pop round her local store with a flamethrower?

     

    Taking a contrary view, one Bob Anderson Bowden, obviously had other things on his mind. He scoffingly suggested: “People really have lost the ability to not get riled up over things they could just ignore, eh?” whilst Fred Hill turned to comedy and concluded: “Oh my God. I’ve only just come to terms with the birth of our baby Jesus and now you want me to mark his execution with a bunny and an egg. I’m an atheist but this is superficial by even my standards.”

     

    Thinking outside the box and instead focused on matters of the heart, Andrea Marlowe brought up Valentine’s Day on 14th February and enquired as to what the supermarket was doing about that. Her priority, most definitely, was for love and lust rather than Easter and chocolates.

     

    Finally, meanwhile, Peter Raymond was clearly someone who’s truly simply had enough of utterly everything. He opined: “Oh, for f#@% off!!!”

     

     

    Iris Apfel Magnum
    In May 2020, members of the Facebook group got especially overexcited after news emerged that Asda, Morrisons, Sainsbury’s and Tesco had put out “urgent recall notices” for Magnum White ice cream tubs “because they contain milk” in spite of Waitrose being unaffected by the recall. Nonagenarian Magnum brand ambassador Iris Apfel – a living legend who believes: “More is more and less is a bore” – was sadly not asked for comment.
    Waitrose Lidl carrier bags social distancing
    Earlier in April that year, a member of the group gave advice on how to ensure social distancing when shopping and remarked: “When shopping in Waitrose, ensure others shoppers stay the recommended two metres away by taking a Lidl carrier bag with you.”
    Mike Alan magician coat savaged
    In December 2020, a self-professed “international magician” named Mike Alan went “mental with a cucumber after alleging a ‘razor sharp’ M&S shelf ‘savaged’ his coat and left him ‘looking like a snowman.’” Aptly from Tunbridge Wells, Kent – a place best known for originating a complaining sort going by the name of ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ in June 1929 – subsequently received advice from readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ that numbered: “Should have gone to Waitrose.”

    An early example of ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ correspondence:

    SIR – Being present at the unveiling of the plaque on Thursday last week on the Pantiles, I was surprised when the National Anthem was played to see that in a place like Tunbridge Wells, which is noted for its loyalty and calls itself ‘Royal,’ there should be people who refused to remove their hats. Are such people Communists? If they are, Tunbridge Wells should be no place for such as they. We can do without them.

     

    Letters to the Editor, ‘Tunbridge Wells Advertiser’ – 14th June 1929.