The snakes and ladders of society.
A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere
P. Diddy ‘stars’ in Downton Abbey
In a Funny or Die spoof rapper Sean Coombs (AKA Puff Daddy, Diddy and P. Diddy) announces his favourite show is Downton Abbey. “Yes, I am an Abbey head, yes, yes, yes,” he begins before telling viewers that he’s become the first black cast member on Julian Fellowes’ hit show.
ASmallWorld charges £75 to remain a member
What a joke. ASmallWorld has bombarded the few that remain interested with a missive demanding £75 per annum to be a member.
Lady Meyer applies to build a “closet wing”
The wife of the former ambassador Sir Christopher Meyer, once described as “Chanel-clad” by The Telegraph, has applied to The Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea to build a number of closets at a property she recently purchased just off the Kings Road.
Don’t Forget To Catch Me
We saw this today and just felt it ought to be shared.
The Steeple Times asks artist Andrew Hancock: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
“The increasing sense that time is speeding up”.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“Fearless for Your Love Forever!” – I inscribed it into the surface of a recent artwork that appears in my latest exhibition. It may be the first truly heartfelt line I’ve written in months and stands as a declaration to succeed despite all odds. That and a quote from Albert Finney’s character in Saturday Night Sunday Morning… “Don’t let the bastards grind you down!” – I like that one.
The Steeple Times asks public relations guru The Hon. Alexandra Foley: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
My nanny.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“Ut prosim” – “That I may do good”. I like medieval swords. I have them hidden all over my house.
The Steeple Times asks photographer Debbi Clark: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
My son Luke with his eccentric ways and my daughter Sophia who keeps me grounded.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
Whatever you decide to do, enjoy it. Otherwise change direction.
The Steeple Times asks entertainment journalist, author and teacher Ben Falk: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
Generally being pessimistic and then being extra pleased if something good happens.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that love Neil Diamond and those that don’t” – Bill Murray. I might be paraphrasing, but it’s very true.
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2013?
I met Kerry once and she forced me to take a picture with her and her then husband, despite my protestations. In fact, to be fair her ex did most of the suggesting. So, I would probably say being forced into having your picture taken (not necessarily with a minor celebrity).
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
Running around building forts and pretending to camp on the field opposite my house. That or living somewhere sunny.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
Batting number 4 for England and scoring a century at Lord’s whilst defeating Australia in the Ashes.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?
All I know is according to the papers, everyone in the investment department of my bank seems to be getting massive bonuses and I earned £6 in interest last year on all my accounts. I think that says it all, no?
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
Whenever someone says that their God is better than someone else’s God.
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
Chuggers do annoy me – I’ll decide when I want to give, thank you very much. And it often depends on how drunk I am when Comic Relief is on. Saying that, I give money to the WWF and a cancer charity. Although I remember getting irritated when I offered a homeless person a sandwich and he asked me what the flavour was and rejected it when I told him. That probably makes me a terrible person.
The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
Having your phone on in the cinema particularly offends me, unless you are waiting for the birth of your child or something. Not sure it’s murder-worthy, but people Tweeting during a film is just pathetic. You’re not that f****ing important.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
John Irving, Roald Dahl, Graham Thorpe, William Goldman, Kermit and Han Solo. No, not Harrison Ford: Han Solo. I’m married, otherwise I might well say Jennifer Connelly or Winona Ryder.
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
I would eat it on the cricket pitch in Little Marlow, Buckinghamshire in the late afternoon mid-summer sun. What would I eat? Rare steak, French fries, a bar of Dairy Milk, chocolate sponge and a pizza from Amigos in Nottingham circa 1994.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
Whenever I bloody feel like it.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
Don’t know what the first one is, the second one is just a posh way to drink a vodka shot, so a cup of tea – milky English breakfast with no sugar.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
I actually like my own if I’m cooking, because it’s fun and you feel like you’ve contributed. Although I’ve been lucky enough to go to some amazing parties. Watching John Legend play Rocket Man with Elton John after the Oscars, getting hammered and dancing with a cardboard cut-out of David Hasselhoff at a film premiere party in New York… Since I’m a hack, I suppose I enjoy any party with a free bar. You should always watch the journalists at a party: we know the exact place to stand to get first dibs on the canapés.
Who is the most positive person you know?
Everyone’s a bit depressed these days, so I don’t really know. David Cameron?
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
A good quality single malt whisky.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
I hate tattoos, so none. Although looking at it, I now appeared to have answered that question in a rather existential way. That’s not the intention, I just despise tattoos.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
Marque? What the fuck does that mean?
Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
I went to the same school as Christopher Nolan, who directed the Batman films. I told him so after I interviewed him for Batman Begins. He didn’t give a shit.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
Wedding pictures, Neil Diamond song lyrics my wife gave me as a present, an action figure of BA Baracus out of the A-Team and a photo of me playing quite a nice off-drive in 1995.
Ben Falk is an entertainment journalist, author and teacher. His published works include Robert Downey Jr.: The Fall And Rise Of The Comeback Kid, Television’s Strangest Moments and The Wonder of Brian Cox.
View Ben Falk’s website at: http://benfalk.net
Follow him on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/benfalkwriter
The Steeple Times asks experimental disc jockey and background actor Morgan Delle Piane: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
All the virtues.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
Equality and diversity.
The Steeple Times asks actor John Challis, best known for playing Boycie in “Only Fools and Horses”: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
Marlene is my guiding force at all times. Listen to your wife. She knows best.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“Never lose that bitterness”.
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2013?
Wind turbines.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
The energy of my youth.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
Life in a warm climate.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?
Bloody capitalists!
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
“Gobsmacked”.
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
I support animal charities especially Tusk Trust. They are fighting to save rhinos and elephants from extinction as a result of poaching. Ronnie Wood and I are the oldest and longest serving patrons of Tusk.
The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
Mobile phones are a bloody nuisance, especially on public transport. I have got into fights in the silent carriages of trains. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. I resisted a mobile for years.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
Marlon Brando, James Stewart, Kim Novak, Prince Rupert of the Rhine, Tom Graveney, the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall, Jacques Tati, Marg Helgenberger and Paul Guilfoyle.
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
Gorgonzola cheese with fresh figs and a glass of vintage port on the terrace of the Hotel Splendido in Portofino, Italy.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
6pm unless out to lunch.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
A martini, stirred not shaken, with a twist of lemon and an olive for my heartburn.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
I don’t do parties anymore. My 60th finished me off.
Who is the most positive person you know?
My brother-in-law, Johnny Palmer.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
ABBA.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
A man with a cricket bat striking a cover drive.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
An Aston Martin DB4.
Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
I wear Converse trainers.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
Abby Bobblehead (NCIS), a miniature Trotter yellow van and a packet of lupin seeds sent to me from a Twitter follower in Texas.
John Challis is an English actor best known for his role as Terrance Aubrey “Boycie” Boyce in the long running BBC television comedy series Only Fools and Horses and its spin-off, The Green Green Grass.
To order signed copies of John Challis’ autobiography, Being Boycie and Boycie & Beyond, and to view the list of venues for his show on tour, go to: http://www.wigmorebooks.com
Follow him on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/BeingBoycie