Carrie Johnson

As rumours swirl about whether they are still actually living together, Boris Johnson and his puppet mistress Carrie unsurprisingly got booed at Jubilee Service of Thanksgiving.

As it is revealed Carrie Johnson has been abusive to staff at Chequers, perhaps it is time for her to be told: “Carrie Shouldn’t Live Here Anymore;” this demanding wench along with her hapless husband deserve kicking out of all of their grace-and-favour residences ASAP.

It seems “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” has become the likely fate of Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s currently missing wine chucking puppet mistress as “Where is Carrie Johnson?” trends on Twitter.