The Steeple Times

Category: BRAINSTORM

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes.

The brightest and the stupidest in business

  • A Corona Cut Church

    A Corona Cut Church

    Converted church in Knightsbridge has its asking price cut by £11 million during the coronavirus lockdown; its price is still 340% higher than it sold for in 2003

    In December, we featured the launch to the market of a £55 million property in Walton Street, Knightsbridge. Now, in the midst of London’s coronavirus lockdown, just three months later, that price has been cut by the staggering sum of £11 million.

     

    A Corona Cut Church – Knightsbridge church price cut by £11 million – Converted church in Knightsbridge has its asking price cut by £11 million during the coronavirus lockdown; its price is still 340% higher than it sold for in 2003 – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA is for sale for £44 million down from £55 million through Knight Frank.
    Yours for £11 million less than in December 2019 – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA.

    St Saviour’s House, as it is now known, forms one thirds of a church and its conversion to a 12,102 square foot house did not delight everyone. Of it, back in 2001, The Telegraph’s Anne Atkins went as far to say: “[It is a] ghastly temple to Mammon… It is so awful I hardly know where to begin… Not my idea of a cosy home… Hideous and tacky… I tried to imagine living with this… The monstrosity of it… Vile.”

     

    Knight Frank, who remain the selling agents, plainly still think otherwise and now market what they describe as an “extraordinary seven bedroom home” for £44 million. Referencing the pandemic directly, they add: “Owing to our commitment to keep both our colleagues and clients safe during this period of recommended isolation, we have many self-serve viewing options available to you. These include video walkthroughs, 360 virtual reality viewings and enhanced comprehensive photography.”

     

    To see more pictures of this most curious conversion, click here.

     

    The Numbers – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA

     

    April 2020 – Reduced in price to £44 million ($54 million, €50 million or درهم198 million).

     

    December 2019 – For sale for £55 million ($73 million, €66 million or درهم269 million).

     

    April 2014 – Sold to a Saudi businessman for £41 million ($55 million, €49 million or درهم201 million).

     

    2009 – Sold to a Thai businessman for £13.5 million ($18 million, €16 million or درهم66 million). An additional £10 million ($13.3 million, €12 million or درهم49 million) was spent on redevelopment.

     

    2003 – Bought by lyricist Alain Boublil for £10 million ($13.3 million, €12 million or درهم49 million).

     

    1998 – Half the church and the church hall sold by the Diocese of London for about £1.2 million ($1.6 million, €1.4 million or درهم5.9 million) for conversion into two dwellings. The central portion of the building retained as a place of worship.

     

    1837 – Plot on which entirety of St Saviour’s Church now sits sold for £300 or the equivalent of £33,000 today ($44,000, €40,000 or درهم162,000 today) to the Metropolitan Church Fund.

     

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  • Slumlord Kushner’s Broke

    Slumlord Kushner’s Broke

    Jared Kushner – New York’s answer to the 1960s London slumlord Peter Rachman – shown to be unable to pay his debts just as he sticks his mucky mitts in over coronavirus

    Quite rightly branded an “daddy’s boy, total nerd, unelected slumlord” and “sleazy” and “unqualified” by rising star men’s swimwear designer George Sotelo on Instagram, Jared Kushner – the dimwitted Rachman-like husband of the self-serving wench Ivanka Trump – was exposed last week by Guest of a Guest as being unable to pay his debts “right now.”

     

    Kushner – whose father is a convicted tax evader and witness tamperer – has defaulted on the mortage of 229 West 43rd Street, the former New York Times building, and now he’s totally without justification “playing politics” with coronavirus.

     

    Of his input into something this thick-as-pigshit imbecile knows zilch, zero, nada about, many are rightly asking: “Why is Donald Trump allowing this moron to stick his oar in?”

     

    Whilst Guest of a Guest suggest that their “main takeaway” from the finance problem issue is that “if the Kushners can’t afford their payments, we’re all truly screwed,” we’ll take a different tack. Instead, we’d argue, if the Kushners are indeed f**ked, the world would be a far better place. It’s most certainly time to get this ratbag family off the stage.

     

    Pictured top: Slumlord Jared Kushner and slumlord Peter Rachman (1919 – 1962). The word ‘Rachmanism’ entered the ‘Oxford English Dictionary’ as a synonym for the “exploitation and intimidation of tenants” and today ‘Kushnerism’ will enter it as an updated example also.

     

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  • Hero of the Hour – Ty Warner

    Hero of the Hour – Ty Warner

    Toy manufacturing billionaire Ty Warner has most generously turned over his 368 room hotel free of charge for New York’s medical workers for the duration of the coronavirus pandemic

    Ty Warner is a billionaire with a difference in that he doesn’t hoard his fortune. He’s given millions to charity and once, when he stopped a woman to ask for directions in California and discovered she needed a stem-cell procedure, he gave her the £16,000 ($20,000) required to save her life.

     

    This week, yet again proving his selfless nature, Chicago born Warner – whose fortune comes from making the Beanie Babies range of toys – turned over a hotel he owns, the I. M. Pei designed Four Seasons New York, for the use of the city’s medical workers, doctors and nurses treating coronavirus patients.

     

    Of why he decided to do this, Warner told Town & Country magazine:

     

    “Many of those working in New York City have to travel long distances to and from their homes after putting in 18-hour days… They need a place close to work where they can rest and regenerate. I heard Governor Cuomo’s call to action during one of his press conferences, and there was no other option for us but do whatever we could to help.”

     

    We join those saluting this very, very generous man and urge British business tycoons to follow Ty Warner’s lead. To date, amongst those who’ve failed in that regard in Blighty are Mike Ashley, Sir Richard Branson, Sir Philip Green and Tim Martin.

     

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  • Ultra Obscene

    Ultra Obscene

    The brash term ‘Ultra High Net Worth’ has deservedly been condemned and as ultra awful

    In a letter to the Guardian on the 6th March, one Michael Peel of Axbridge, Somerset rightly suggested that the ghastly term ‘Ultra High Net Worth’ – often abbreviated to ‘UHNW’ – to be ridiculous.

     

    Stating “don’t perpetuate the term,” Peel pointed out: “They aren’t worth more than anyone else, they just have far more assets.” He is entirely right and in many cases a humble binman is worth more to society than a brash billionaire.

     

    Alongside ‘Very High Net Worth’ and ‘High Net Worth’ individuals, people who consider themselves ‘UHNW’ are plainly as vulgar as those, like the decidedly self-important Sir Richard Branson, that give themselves the moniker ‘Entrepreneur.’ Titles and descriptions, we’d argue, are for instead for others to give.

     

    With the economy now teetering due to coronavirus amongst other things, we join Mr Peel and hope that, for once and all, this vile term might be forever condemned to history.

     

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  • The New ‘Knights’ of Knightsbridge

    The New ‘Knights’ of Knightsbridge

    As a shop selling “bringing back the royalty of [Arabia] home” opens in Knightsbridge, we ask: “Whatever next?”

    Beauchamp Place, Knightsbridge used to be the street where you’d find Bill Bentley’s and a pub owned by some Rolls-Royce driving gangsters who (probably falsely) claimed they owned Marble Arch. Both are long gone, but now, this month, there is a new addition to this once tony street: A shop named ‘Tessal London.’

     

    Selling “fashion from Arabic tradition and modern wear into the streets of London,” this self-proclaimed “royal culture of elegance” retailer has taken over a space once occupied by a traditional tailor and is now, frankly, hawking overpriced tat.

     

    On its website, the arrogant proprietors pompously talk of how they have a specialist department for “superior customers.” We respond: “Who do you bloody think you are? Hyacinth Bucket?” The pinnacle of vulgarity has landed in Knightsbridge. May it very soon flop as this is one shop no genuine local will either ever enter or miss.

     

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    The New ‘Knights’ of Knightsbridge – Tessal London, Beauchamp Place – As a shop selling “bringing back the royalty of [Arabia] home” opens in Knightsbridge, we ask: “Whatever next?”
  • Morons of the Moment – Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler

    Morons of the Moment – Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler

    Self-entitled drug flogging billionaires Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler were rightly roasted by ‘Guest of a Guest’ for their (latest) bleating email

    Mortimer D. A. Sackler is a spoilt berk from a family who have galleries named after them. This drip and his ghastly oik of a wife, Jacqueline, hang out with royalty and are part of one of America’s richest dynasties, but there’s something utterly grating about them: They constantly moan.

     

    In July, Jacqueline wrote to her lawyers. In her pathetic missive, this tedious tepid woman whined about the £9.98 billion ($13 billion, €11.99 billion or درهم47.74 billion) the family had gained from flogging dodgy pharmaceuticals including OxyCotin as having destroyed “our work, our friendships, our reputation and our ability to function in society.” She bleated: “And worse, it dooms my children. How is my son supposed to apply to high school in September?”

     

    Now, according to Guest of a Guest, Jackie and her hubby have “been increasingly blacklisted by the upper crust” in New York. “Aren’t they just the worst?” they asked in an email to subscribers. With even the Met museum refusing to take any further donations from them, this vacuous pair have flogged their “ritzy Upper East Side townhouse” and fled to “winter term” it (their words, they wouldn’t come from anyone else, after all) in Gstad, Switzerland.

     

    According to the site, the duo emailed friends and told them: “We would love to see you either in Gstaad, if you are here or nearby, or elsewhere in Europe (taking advantage of the ease of travel here vs ours in NYC).”

     

    A spokesman for this pair of pillocks then followed up to announce that anyone suggesting they were siphoning off funds to Switzerland might be telling untruths and announced: “They fully intend to return to the US in the near future.” Guest of a Guest quite correctly responded: “Here’s hoping they don’t!”

     

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  • Epstein’s Fat Cat

    Epstein’s Fat Cat

    Fat cat banker and Barclays CEO Jes Staley under investigation over his links to the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein

    This morning, Barclays has been forced to reveal that its controversial CEO Jes Staley is being investigated over his links to the now (allegedly) dead paedophile and late friend of Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein.

     

    In a statement, the firm announced that the Financial Conduct Authority and the regulatory watchdog Prudential Regulation Authority are looking into “Mr. Staley’s characterisation to the company of his relationship with Mr. Epstein, and the subsequent description of that relationship, in the company’s response to the FCA.”

     

    They claimed their board retains “full confidence” in Staley – a man once described as “like Teflon” by Neil Wilson of Markets.com – because he has been “sufficiently transparent with the company as regards the nature and extent and relationship with Mr Epstein.”

     

    In a call with reporters about the matter, according to CityA.M., Staley himself added: “I feel very comfortable… that I have been very transparent and open with the bank about the relationship. With hindsight, I deeply regret having had any relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.”

     

    In 2018, after Staley tried to unmask a whistleblower at the bank in 2016, the firm was slapped with a fine of £600,000 ($779,000, €716,000 or درهم2.8 million) and of this Wilson today remarked: “Coming after the whistleblowing fine, it’s looking like the cat may be running out of lives, I wonder if he can survive this.”

     

    Elsewhere on social media, one user asked of Staley: “Is this someone you’d trust even with a bus ticket?”

     

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  • Moron of the Moment – The Duchess of York

    Moron of the Moment – The Duchess of York

    As the Duchess of York is dragged into yet another scandal involving her tea trading business, we have to concur that it is time this ludicrous woman was sent to Siberia

    On Saturday, following up from her previous outrageous blunder in suggesting the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein paedophile scandal was “nonsense,” The Times revealed that the Duchess of York has been “dragged into [yet another] financial scandal.”

     

    She-who-just-cannot-help-herself ‘Fergie’ is like the gift that keeps on giving. With each and every turn, this dimwit of a woman makes everything worse. Not only did she manage to stick her oar in whilst her husband was making a prat of himself going on about sweating and Pizza Express (Woking branch) with her ridiculously vain Vogue Arabia interview, but now it seems madam has been taking ‘loans’ totaling £232,000 from a loss making Chinese company.

     

    Supposedly the duchess was using the money, given to her in 2017, to fund a tea company, Ginger & Moss, she operates from an office on Park Lane in Mayfair, but “accounts suggest there was ‘none left.’” Now, a counsel for the Chinese, Matthew Parfitt, has demanded: “We want to know where that money has gone.”

     

    It is time that the Duchess of York realised she isn’t a business titan like Michael Bloomberg and it is time she did something else: This toddler-esque woman should just clear off to Siberia. The nation would be thankful and could then be like Polly and put the kettle on and have a decent cup of tea.

     

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  • Moron of the Moment – Sami Raja

    Moron of the Moment – Sami Raja

    Fraudster Sami Raja’s use of Instagram to flaunt his luxury lifestyle whilst on the run provides proof of his all-round arrogance

    Sami Raja stole £2.4 million ($3.2 million, €2.8 million or درهم11.5 million) from 130 elderly victims. He was convicted and jailed for eight years, but has never served a single day as he went on the run prior to being jailed.

     

    Now, this arrogant ‘Rich Kids of London’ member has proceeded to further insult those he’s scammed by posting images of the luxury lifestyle he is now enjoying in the Maldives, Ibiza, Dubai, the United Arab Emirates and Punjab.

     

    Moron of the Moment – Arrogant on-the-run fraudster Sami Raja – Fraudster Sami Raja’s use of Instagram to flaunt his luxury lifestyle whilst on the run provides proof of his all-round arrogance.
    Deviant conman who got rich at the expense of others Sami Raja outrageously poses next to a Ferrari featuring a logo for something called ‘The Rich List’

    Alongside images of himself in designer gear and in five star hotels, 32-year-old Raja posted captions that included: “Im living life right now man and this is what ill do till its over” [sic] and “Aint no one bursting my bubble” [sic].

     

    Rightly, in response, one victim, 89-year-old Dennis Smith, told The Telegraph: “The way Raja is living now makes you sick.  I think that the police should be pursuing him to wipe the smile off of his face… I can’t really describe how I feel about him without swearing.” He is quite right. This shameless cretin should be brought back and he should get extra time for his arrogance.

     

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  • A Newspaper for Nowt

    A Newspaper for Nowt

    Alaska newspaper offered for sale; the “unbeatable price” of $0 provides indication of the decline of the printed press

    Yesterday, The Guardian reported that a man who’d bought a local newspaper in the Klondike Gold Rush national historic park in April is now trying to offload it for absolutely nothing.

     

    Larry Persily, described as a “longtime journalist,” is supposedly “willing to give away [a] small-town paper [named the Skagway News] to a multi-talented professional who can ensure it a bright future.”

     

    He told the paper:

     

    “I reached a conclusion. The owner, the editor, the reporter, the publisher, the subscription-taker has got to be the same person, who is part of the community, lives there year-round. I don’t care about the money as much as I’d like it to survive.”

     

    Of the benefits to whomever takes him up on his offer, he added that he believes they’ll be able to pay themselves £37,000 per year ($50,000, €45,000 or درهم184,000 per year) and remarked:

     

    “They’ll be able to eat and clothe themselves and have cable TV. Will they be able to afford a second home in Barbados? I don’t think so.”

     

    With local and even national newspapers such as The Telegraph in decline across the globe, one has to wonder if this is actually such a good offer.

     

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