The Steeple Times

Tag: The Telegraph

  • A Corona Cut Church

    A Corona Cut Church

    Converted church in Knightsbridge has its asking price cut by £11 million during the coronavirus lockdown; its price is still 340% higher than it sold for in 2003

    In December, we featured the launch to the market of a £55 million property in Walton Street, Knightsbridge. Now, in the midst of London’s coronavirus lockdown, just three months later, that price has been cut by the staggering sum of £11 million.

     

    A Corona Cut Church – Knightsbridge church price cut by £11 million – Converted church in Knightsbridge has its asking price cut by £11 million during the coronavirus lockdown; its price is still 340% higher than it sold for in 2003 – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA is for sale for £44 million down from £55 million through Knight Frank.
    Yours for £11 million less than in December 2019 – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA.

    St Saviour’s House, as it is now known, forms one thirds of a church and its conversion to a 12,102 square foot house did not delight everyone. Of it, back in 2001, The Telegraph’s Anne Atkins went as far to say: “[It is a] ghastly temple to Mammon… It is so awful I hardly know where to begin… Not my idea of a cosy home… Hideous and tacky… I tried to imagine living with this… The monstrosity of it… Vile.”

     

    Knight Frank, who remain the selling agents, plainly still think otherwise and now market what they describe as an “extraordinary seven bedroom home” for £44 million. Referencing the pandemic directly, they add: “Owing to our commitment to keep both our colleagues and clients safe during this period of recommended isolation, we have many self-serve viewing options available to you. These include video walkthroughs, 360 virtual reality viewings and enhanced comprehensive photography.”

     

    To see more pictures of this most curious conversion, click here.

     

    The Numbers – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA

     

    April 2020 – Reduced in price to £44 million ($54 million, €50 million or درهم198 million).

     

    December 2019 – For sale for £55 million ($73 million, €66 million or درهم269 million).

     

    April 2014 – Sold to a Saudi businessman for £41 million ($55 million, €49 million or درهم201 million).

     

    2009 – Sold to a Thai businessman for £13.5 million ($18 million, €16 million or درهم66 million). An additional £10 million ($13.3 million, €12 million or درهم49 million) was spent on redevelopment.

     

    2003 – Bought by lyricist Alain Boublil for £10 million ($13.3 million, €12 million or درهم49 million).

     

    1998 – Half the church and the church hall sold by the Diocese of London for about £1.2 million ($1.6 million, €1.4 million or درهم5.9 million) for conversion into two dwellings. The central portion of the building retained as a place of worship.

     

    1837 – Plot on which entirety of St Saviour’s Church now sits sold for £300 or the equivalent of £33,000 today ($44,000, €40,000 or درهم162,000 today) to the Metropolitan Church Fund.

     

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  • A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea

    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea

    Art deco mansion block apartment in Chelsea that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale

    “Cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler MBE (1926 – 2012) appeared in everything from Minder to Lawrence of Arabia. He was first discovered as “a near illiterate newspaper boy” making eight shillings a week and invited on the BBC on a radio programme about life in wartime London. He was an immediate hit and subsequently a film company executive offered this Lambeth born boy a “monumental 42 shillings a day” to play an evacuee in The Demi-Paradise – which starred Laurence Olivier and Penelope Ward.

     

    Subsequently Fowler took on many “juvenile roles” and after serving in the RAF during the war, he appeared in films and television series including Dixon of Dock Green, Z-Cars, Jackanory, In Sickness and in Health, The Bill and Casualty and was described by Terence Pettigrew as being “as English as suet pudding.” Going further, of him, the broadcaster added: “His characters were neither honest nor irretrievably delinquent, merely wise in the ways of the streets, surviving through a combination of wit and stealth. He had a certain arrogance, but there was an appealing vulnerability, too.”

     

    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    Harry Fowler as a schoolboy named Albert in John Paddy Carstairs’ British comedy film. ‘Top of the Form’ (1953).

    Married first to the Ealing Studios star Joan Dowling, whom tragically committed suicide in 1954 by gas poisoning, Fowler’s second wife was Catherine Palmer. The couple had no children and amongst where they lived was in a portered art deco mansion block called Chesil Court in Chelsea, London, SW3.

     

    Now offered for £975,000 ($1.2 million, €1.1 million or درهم4.3 million), the one-bedroomed first floor flat in which the “everyman for every occasion” and his wife resided is appropriately decorated in authentic 1930s style. It has an original iron bath and original radiators and a Chesil Court clock even. In the bedroom, the wallpaper is a Parisienne print by Madeleine Castaing and in-keeping also are the peacock blue silk blackout curtains and silk leopard print curtains that can be found throughout, according to agents Strutt & Parker.

     

    The 586 square foot apartment is small but perfectly formed and comes with a 35 square foot south facing balcony and it was no doubt there that this Labour supporter decided against a career in parliament. “I found there was little room for laughter in politics,” The Telegraph reported he concluded.

     

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    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The sitting room is furnished in appropriate 1930s style.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The dining area.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The kitchen is small but stylish.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The bedroom features rainforest patterned wallpaper.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The original 1930s bathroom.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The south facing balcony.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    The entrance to Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom.
    A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.
    A floor plan of the first floor apartment.
  • Moron of the Moment – James Abbott-Thompson

    Moron of the Moment – James Abbott-Thompson

    Diane Abbott’s policeman biting son is proof of her own inadequacies as a parent; this loopy Labour MP should get her own house in order before lecturing others

    Diane Abbott is known for many things and sadly most of them aren’t endearing. She’s had sex with Jeremy Corbyn, she stupidly apologised after doing something amusing in drinking a canned mojito on a tube train and most recently, she went out with two left shoes on.

     

    Now, with news that this dimwit and hypocrite’s privately educated son (and godson of the former MP turned vicar Jonathan Aitken), James Abbott-Thompson, has admitted “spitting at a police officer and biting his colleague” via video link to Westminster Magistrates’ Court after being refused entry to the Foreign Office, we can now observe a pattern emerging and that is: “Like mother, like son.”

     

    Whilst wayward Abbott-Thompson – who also appeared in court in January in regard to another eleven alleged offences (including one of most inappropriately exposing himself on a hospital ward) – plainly has anger management and most likely mental health issues, his loopy mother must now realise enough is enough: Diane Abbott must get her own house in order before she hectors a single other.

     

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  • Stick A Sock On

    Stick A Sock On

    Matthew Steeples criticises ‘The Telegraph’ for suggesting men can wear loafers without socks

    According to this morning’s Telegraph, “2020 is the year of the loafer, apparently.”

     

    The paper’s Adrian Clark, this development has been “[cited] to a return to smarter dressing and the revival of the classic Ivy League look,” but where the author goes wrong is in stating: “As for the socks or no socks question, well that’s up to you.”

     

    As I have observed previously, not wearing socks is the preserve of the naff and foolish in a damp, cold country like Britain. Rightly banned in an Edinburgh pub named The Dreadnought for “making the place look scruffy,” going sockless also will result in “sweaty and stinky feet as well as some nasty smelling shoes” according to Hespoke Style.

     

    Frankly, unless you want to look like a prized berk, do the right thing. If you’re going to wear loafers, jolly well invest a natty pair of socks to accompany them.

     

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    Stick A Sock On – Loafers and the socks or no socks question – Matthew Steeples criticises ‘The Telegraph’ for suggesting men can wear loafers without socks.
    One has to ask a man (who plainly is not a gentleman) who sports loafers with turned up trousers: “Can you not afford a pair of socks?”
  • Philly G. Fails

    Philly G. Fails

    Bully and braggart Sir Philip Green ditches his libel action against ‘The Telegraph’ and is deservedly met with a bill of £3 million in costs alone

     

    Described as “Shylock meets Al Capone” in this publication by the actor Steven Berkoff, the now increasingly potless and rudderless Sir Philip Green has well and truly hit the buffers this morning.

     

    Fat bruiser ‘Philly G’ tried to destroy The Telegraph in a bid to protect himself against their investigation into allegations of racial and sexual abuse against him. This brash, one-time “modern day monarch” – whose pig-like daughter has recently got herself pregnant by a violent felon – can now by heard in taped conversations with the paper’s Daniel Foggo. They reveal a foul-mouthed egoist with an incapability to respond rationally.

     

    A businessman described once as “having the Midas touch,” Sir Philip – whose primary aim in all of this seems to be to protect his Lady Docker-like title obsessed wife, ‘Lady Tina’ – has finally met his match. We imagine he’ll today be wishing copies of The Telegraph be yesterday’s chip papers.

     

    Some of the remarks made by Sir Philip Green in phone conversations with The Telegraph’s Daniel Foggo

     

    “Let’s be intelligent.”

     

    “If you damage the business, these people will need a new job… And your paper will end up bankrupt.”

     

    “You’re not going [to publish] tomorrow… Do you want me to go and seek an injunction? I’ve got one against the government, I’ll get one against you.”

     

    “Tell your editor to get smart… We’re not running away… So we don’t have to have a punch up… Get smart.”

     

    Pictured above: Sir Philip Green looking disheveled and sweaty and with the then wife of his friend Richard Caring in better times. What a difference a few years make.

     

     

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  • Wally of the Week – Tom Harwood

    Wally of the Week – Tom Harwood

    Petulant child Tom Harwood makes a nuisance of himself on ‘Politics Live’ after previously claiming he can singlehandedly defeat ISIS and making comparison of Brexit to using a condom

     

    “Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”

    Spike Milligan, Puckoon (1963)

     

    Former leader of the student wing of Vote Leave Tom Harwood describes himself as being “sometimes on the news” to his 18,900 followers on Twitter, but, in fact, this petulant child just makes a nuisance of himself wherever he goes.

     

    Yesterday, on BBC2’s Politics Live, Harwood had to be told to calm down by the show’s hostess Jo Coburn after he continually interrupted other guests, but elsewhere on YouTube he shares further evidence of his annoying conduct in videos with titles such as: “Amazing facts you won’t believe (and probably shouldn’t).” They are utterly pointless, not at all funny and simply indicative that this brat shouldn’t even be put in charge of a bus ticket.

     

    Wally of the Week – Condom campaigner and Brexiteer Tom Harwood – Petulant child Tom Harwood makes a nuisance of himself on ‘Politics Live’ after previously claiming he can singlehandedly defeat ISIS and making comparison of Brexit to using a condom
    Condom kid Tom Harwood came up with the idea of giving out Vote Leave condoms as a marketing strategy to encourage people to vote in support of Brexit

     

    As if it were not odd enough that Harwood pledged to defeat ISIS when he stood to be the NUS delegate for Durham University in 2016 and campaigned for 12 year olds to get the right to vote in 2018, it was his activities at Vote Leave that make him stand out as a total self-serving, self-promoting pillock. Whilst most leave campaigners delivered leaflets (and travelled on that accursed ‘bus of lies’), Harwood took a different approach: He came up with a campaign to give out Vote Leave condoms. Captioned with such messages as “it’s riskier to stay in,” of the reasoning for using such a marketing gimmick, Harwood told The Telegraph:

     

    “[Condoms] are a great and fun way to get people talking/interested.”

     

    “They illustrate that the safer choice is to Vote Leave, allowing Britain to become a global player once again.”

     

    So, there we have it: Brexit, if Tom Harwood is to believed, is nothing but a giant contraceptive and just what a Britain run by a bunch of 12-year old lunatics plainly needs.

     

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  • Save The Swan

    Save The Swan

    Matthew Steeples highlights that not only the appalling case of two swans and five cygnets being shot in Kent but also other problems facing these majestic birds

     

    This summer, on The Serpentine in Hyde Park, I witnessed a Chinese tourist attempting to hug a swan. Though I told him how unacceptable this truly was, he simply shrugged his shoulders (he plainly couldn’t speak a word of English) and attempted to carry on. Though hindered by one of my arm being in a sling, in a slightly wingless fashion, I managed to pull him away and the majestic yet wrongly targeted bird waddled off into the water.

     

    Yesterday, an even more shocking case of “swan abuse” was sadly highlighted with news that that two swans and five cygnets had been found wrapped in plastic bags and thrown in a stream in Benenden, Kent. After X-rays of the birds were taken it was revealed that these innocent creatures were peppered with pellets and thus victims of what an RSPCA inspector, Dave Grant, termed an “absolutely disgusting” attack.

     

    Save The Swan – Matthew Steeples highlights that not only the appalling case of swans being shot but also other problems facing these majestic birds.
    An X-ray of one of the birds that was so brutally slaughtered

     

    Given that virtually all swans in England and Wales are owned by the Queen, it has been suggested that the birds were targeted due to their association with royalty. Stephen Knight of the Swan Sanctuary in Shepperton, Middlesex remarked:

     

    “The reason they pick on swans is because it is widely know that they belong to the Crown, so they are a symbol of the establishment.”

     

    “The kind of people who do this are faceless bullies that have got no moral compass. Someone once posted a gag that was titled ‘how to upset the Queen.’ It included a picture of a gun and swan, which was locked in a cage. After that we saw a little spike in shootings.”

     

    Elsewhere, it has been revealed that the “Bin the Bread” campaign to stop people feeding swans bread has resulted in many of the birds now being underweight. In comments to The Telegraph, the Queen’s Swan Marker, David Barber, Member of the Royal Victorian Order, remarked stated “there is no good reason” not to feeds swans bread. He remarked that many now wander the roads and put themselves in further danger whilst looking for food and added:

     

    “Supporters of the campaign claim that bread should not be fed to swans on the grounds that it is bad for them. This is not correct. Swans have been fed bread for many hundreds of years without causing any ill effects.”

     

    “While bread may not be the best dietary option for swans compared to their natural food such as river weed, it has become a very important source of energy for them, supplementing their natural diet and helping them to survive the cold winter months when vegetation is very scarce.”

     

    “There is no good reason not to feed bread to swans, provided it is not mouldy.”

     

    “Most households have surplus bread and children have always enjoyed feeding swans with their parents.”

     

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  • Put A Helmet On

    Put A Helmet On

    Tour de France winner Geraint Thomas is right to demand all cyclists be forced to wear helmets

     

    Yesterday, in an interview in the Sunday Times Magazine, this year’s winner of the Tour de France spoke great sense and suggested cyclists be forced to wear helmets.

     

    In comments, Geraint Thomas remarked:

     

    “I would certainly make helmets compulsory… I always wear a helmet. I’ve put on a helmet more times than I’ve buckled a seatbelt.”

     

    “Helmets have come on a lot – well ventilated, not too hot, you don’t look stupid – no reason not to.”

     

    Put A Helmet On – Tour de France winner Geraint Thomas is right to demand all cyclists be forced to wear helmets.
    Teenage cyclist Ryan Smith was seriously injured in a collision with a van in Lincolnshire in July 2013; “he did not want to mess up his hair” but ended up in a coma

     

    Though speaking in direct contradiction to Cycling UK – whom believe “there is no justification for making helmet wearing compulsory” – Mr Thomas is entirely right. If cyclists, including those using such things as Santander Cycles, were forced to put one on, there most certainly would be less accidents and deaths on our roads.

     

    #PutAHelmetOn #SaferCycling #RoadSafety

     

    Pictured top: Boris Johnson and Geraint Thomas on bicycles; we’d suggest the latter knows best about whether to where a helmet or not

     

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  • More gin, vicar?

    More gin, vicar?

    As Public Health Wales claims drinking spirits is bad for you, we rebut their frankly stupid study

     

    On Tuesday, The Telegraph reported that a completely unscientific study by an organisation named Public Health Wales had found that spirits are more likely to “trigger bouts of depression and unexpected weeping.”

     

    Said also to cause an increase in negative feelings and levels of aggression, spirits also are said to boost confidence and energy levels and make people “feel sexier.”

     

    Whilst The Telegraph’s article about the study focused on the spirits category in general, today The Guardian moved the focus to gin specifically. In a feature titled: ‘Spirits down: proof that gin makes you sad,’ the paper mocked the survey and rightly pointed out: “Other things that make you sad include literally everything that has ever happened in the world over the past decade.”

     

    They are right, but we’d go one stage further and suggest this: “Drink whatever makes you happy and if you can’t have one at eleven, have eleven at one.”

     

    Cheers!

     

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  • Whacking Out The Wheat

    Whacking Out The Wheat

    Upto 20 sensible Conservative MPs are set to rebel against ‘Wheat Field Wanderer’ Theresa May over her plans to enshrine the date of Brexit in law

     

    This morning The Telegraph revealed upto twenty Conservative MPs are set to do the right thing. Unsurprisingly deemed “Brexit mutineers” by the paper, this diverse group “have informed senior party figures that they will join forces with Labour to block new measures that would enshrine the date of Brexit in law.”

     

    Fifteen of these sensible individuals are reported as being:

     

    Heidi Allen

    Ken Clarke

    Jonathan Djanogly

    Vicky Ford

    Dominic Grieve

    Stephen Hammond

    Oliver Heald

    Jeremy Lefroy

    Paul Masterton

    Nicky Morgan

    Bob Neil

    Antoinette Sandbach

    Anna Soubry

    Tom Tughendhat

    Sarah Wollaston

     

    We salute them all and encourage other right-minded sorts to join their number.

     

    #BetterTogether #WreckBrexit

    #BringHerDown #MakeNovemberTheEndOfMay