Tag: Reading

Windbag Writer Defends Windbag Ball & Cat Kicker

“Very unkind” windbag writer Rachel Johnson, a sympathiser of convicted mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell, offers sympathies windbag ball and cat kicker Kurt Zouma

“Poundland muckspreader” and “associate of two dirty dildo floggers” Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge CBE has been deservedly slammed for not firing Kurt Zouma, an overpaid kicker of bags of wind for West Ham, after he giggled as he got his brother to film him kicking and slapping a cat in his kitchen.

Now, the Prime Minister’s somewhat off her merry rocker sister, windbag writer Rachel Johnson, has decided to stick her claws in and on her LBC radio show yesterday suggested:

“Listen, I mean I know, thank God it’s after the watershed. I am not a cat person… However, I do think we are in danger of overreacting and cancelling Kurt Zouma for one misguided kick in his kitchen which his silly brother posted on social media.”

“He’s 27, clearly he’s old enough to know better, but do we really want to live in a world where one silly mistake can lead to the end of somebody’s career? I think we don’t.”

“I think he’s taken his punishment, his cats are no longer in the house. I think he should apologise and move on. I think there are bigger issues at stake.”

As we said of Baroness Brady – who pathetically excused this animal abuser and even suggested he could “turn something negative into long-lasting positives” – yesterday and we repeat again to Rachel Johnson today: “Try telling that to the poor abused cat.”

Previously, in November 2021, ‘Rabid Rachel’ penned another ‘excuse article’ for The Spectator that was rightly condemned as “sickening.” In it, the daughter of Stanley Johnson – a man whose first wife declared: “He hit me many times, over many years… He broke my nose. He made me feel like I deserved it” – offered her thoughts on the trial of the since convicted mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell and disgracefully declared:

“It’s hard not to feel a batsqueak of pity for Ghislaine Maxwell – 500 days and counting in solitary confinement.”

“I intersected briefly with her at Oxford. As a fresher I wandered into Balliol JCR one day in search of its subsidised breakfast granola-and-Nescafé offering and found a shiny glamazon with naughty eyes holding court astride a table, a high-heeled boot resting on my brother Boris’s thigh.”

“She gave me a pitying glance but I did manage to snag an invite to her party in Headington Hill Hall – even though I wasn’t in the same college as her and Boris. I have a memory of her father, Bob, coming out in a towelling robe and telling us all to go home.”

“I’m sure fairweather friends would not reveal they went to a Ghislaine Maxwell party: as Barbara Amiel’s brilliant memoir Friends and Enemies proves, you only know who your real chums are when you’re in the gutter.”

Clearly Rachel Johnson – who believes being “called unkind… really cuts to the quick” – is a woman with a moral compass as warped as not only her buffoon brother Boris Johnson, but also a woman who’ll excuse the activities of both the abusers of animals and humans. Perhaps it is now time for this blonde bozo to reassess her recent remarks and realise that the cats and victims of a sick sex trafficker are the ones she’s most definitely been most unkind to.

Pictured top – West Ham’s cat abuser Kurt Zouma, convicted sexual abusers Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein and continually abusive of power and privilege siblings Rachel and Boris Johnson.

https://twitter.com/LBC/status/1492972471271710721

Rachel Johnson got her breasts out against Brexit in February 2019.

The LBC presenter with her father and siblings.

Karren Brady – another defender of cat abuser Kurt Zouma – got elevated to the House of Lords by her guffawing chum David Cameron in spite of claiming to “have no interest in politics.” She also likes bumping fists with Carrie Johnson’s puppet, Boris.

“Very Unkind” Rachel Johnson’s Most Ridiculous Remarks

Aside from once rightly suggesting her brother, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, uses the despatch box of the House of Commons as a “bully pulpit” and once condemned some of his speeches as “highly reprehensible,” journalist Rachel Johnson often gets rather carred away. Amongst her odd most ridiculous remarks are:

On boozy lockdown breaking parties in Downing Street:

“I didn’t see much of the Prime Minister and his family during lockdown, but the times I did see him, he was completely compliant: he dotted every ‘I,’ he crossed every ‘T.’”

“If it was rule of six, there were six. And what I didn’t see were all the things you’ve been reading about.”

“To my mind, if he did go out into the Downing Street garden – and he’s told us he did – for him, that would have been work. He may have had a drink, I don’t know. Is that one of the key questions? But that would have been work.”

“For example, at his birthday, it was me, my three brothers, Carrie and Wilf. That was six people. And I have to tell you something about my brother’s character.”

“You’ve been seeing the front pages which couldn’t have been worse: suitcases of booze going into Downing Street from the Co-op.”

“I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that he has never once turned to me or any member of my family and said: ‘I tell you what, let’s have an office party’ or: ‘I tell you what, let’s have a party.’”

“If anything, he would say: ‘Let’s play reading,’ when we were growing up, or even in our twenties, or: ‘Let’s play, who can memorise the most poems from the Oxford book of verse’’ And, of course, it was always him.”

“Look, I’m just telling you what I saw over lockdown and what I know of my brother’s character.”

On her own character:

“Of course, I’m naughty.”

“Without my Johnson trademark mop of yellow hair, I think I would be nothing.”

On politicians:

“If you tell the truth you get into trouble and that’s why politicians are extremely dull.”

On the sex trafficker and daughter of a thieving murderer Ghislaine Maxwell:

“It’s hard not to feel a batsqueak of pity for Ghislaine Maxwell.”

On food and coffee:

“In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise.”

“I am a total coffee snob and bore. If anyone makes the mistake of offering me ‘a coffee’ they tend to regret it. I’m worse than Mariah Carey and the hot milk rider is completely non-negotiable.”

On her work:

“I used to sit at home in my tracksuit bottoms and the real excitement of my day would be going out to get a copy of Private Eye and a latte.”

“It’s often discouraging sitting working at home, wondering whether to put the heating on, answering the doorbell to the gas board, feeling it’s all utterly pointless.”

“The Lady [which she was the 9^th editor of between 2009 and 2013] is a piddling little magazine that no one cares about or buys.”

On what others think of her:

“I’m worried about looking like a bad person… I don’t like the public image I’ve been dressed with and it worries me.”

“When I’m called unkind, that really cuts to the quick. You can say anything else that you like about me.”

“I don’t mind being called snobbish, a pain and a social climber, but being called unkind really hurts.”

February 14, 2022
Phone Home Snowdon & Sellers

1964 Aston Martin DB5 convertible – complete with very first car phone in Britain – owned originally by Peter Sellers and subsequently by Princess Margaret’s husband to be auctioned

A “regal runaround” – a 1964 Aston Martin DB5 convertible owned first by the actor, comedian and avid car collector Peter Sellers CBE and then by both the 1^st and 2^nd Earls of Snowdon – is to be sold at auction next month.

Ordered new complete with the very first wireless Motorola car phone in Britain – which the then Viscount Linley later described as working “a bit like a walkie-talkie; you clicked a button twice and got through to the exchange” – the Caribbean pearl blue, Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera designed car was one of only 123 soft-top variants produced.

Featuring a 282 bhp 4-litre straight-six engine, “mated to a state-of-the-art five-speed ZF manual gearbox,” according to auctioneers Bonhams, the vehicle is “capable of a 145 mph top speed.” It came with extras numbering fog lamps, a cigar lighter, a dark blue hood and cover and non-standard chrome roadwheels also.

In the possession of Sellers, it is believed, for just a year, the vehicle passed to his friend, the then husband of Princess Margaret, the former Anthony Armstrong-Jones, circa 1965 and was used for “family journeys” in Chelsea, Mayfair and Soho and even also for roadtrips to places as far away as Prague.

Tellingly, the 1^st Earl supposedly “smuggled Lady Jacqueline Rufus Isaacs, daughter of the Marquis and Marchioness of Reading, away from his country house when the Princess returned home unexpectedly one evening” in the boot of the car, whilst Bonhams add, the 2^nd Earl recalled: “We always had the windows down so my mother could smoke her cigarettes.”

Kept subsequently at the National Motoring Museum at Beaulieu, the 1^st Earl gave his son the car to mark his 25^th birthday in 1986 and during the next period, it was altered, rebuilt and maintained by Aston Martin Service Works.

Speaking of the convertible to Aston Martin magazine and driving it to Italy even, the 2^nd Earl of Snowdon – known professionally as ‘David Linley’ – mused:

“[When my father gave me the car], it had already spent a few years at the motoring museum at Beaulieu and my father advised me that it might be quite a good idea to leave it there… But I was 25, for God’s sake, and living in London – the car didn’t stay in the museum!”

“I loved that it had this patina that reminded me of my father. Everywhere I went in Italy it was: ‘Che bella macchina!’ [what a beautiful machine].”

Sold on in 2002 after “the pain and pleasure of owning a classic vehicle mounted up” for Viscount Linley, the car is believed to have been in the ownership of the radio and television presenter Chris Evans since circa 2011.

The Aston Martin has most recently been offered for sale by Joe Macari – whom declared of it on their website: “[It] was given to Lord Snowden’s son, Viscount Linley, who sold it in an auction in order to raise money to pay the Death Duty on his inheritance. While only £3 million was required to pay the duty, over £13 million was raised leading to Lord Snowden accusing his son of selling anything that wasn’t laid down… The chance to own such a stunning car with such interesting provenance is a rare one!”

The vehicle will be now be auctioned on Friday 9^th July at the Bonhams Festival of Speed Sale at Goodwood, near Chichester. The firm have set an estimate of £1.4 million to £1.7 million and commenting, director of Bonhams Motoring Cars UK, Sholto Gilbertson, commented:

“If ever a car defined an era, this DB5 is surely on the shortlist. Not only was it one of the most desirable and thoroughbred sportscars of its day but it has an extraordinary provenance being owned by the crème de la crème of the 1960s.”

Going further and speaking about letting it go, the now 2^nd Earl of Snowdon added:

“I sold it and everybody said it was a great price. Obviously, I had no idea that the market was about to go completely crazy.”

“The thing is, if you are always going back on what you did and regretting things, you just start beating yourself up. You do what you think is right at the time, right?”

“Should I have sold it? No. Do I regret it? Yes. Can I put back the clock? No. Could I pay five million pounds to buy it back? Definitely not! But it [the sale] helped get Serena [his then wife] and I on a steady keel. I got the Linley business working. Got a job here at Christie’s. Got myself in a better place.”

Anthony Armstrong-Jones, 1st Earl of Snowdon in the car seat with his then wife, Princess Margaret, and children David Armstrong-Jones, Viscount Linley and Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones (later Lady Sarah Chatto).

Peter Sellers driving another of his cars, a Mercedes-Benz, with Liza Minnelli and another friend.

Chris Evans in the Aston Martin in 2015.

The Names & Numbers

Friday 9^th July 2021 – Bonhams will offer the 1964 Aston Martin DB5 convertible with an estimate of £1.3 million to £1.7 million ($1.8 million to $2.4 million, €1.5 million to €2 million or درهم6.8 million to درهم8.9 million) at their Bonhams Festival of Speed Sale on Friday 9^th July 2021.

2015 – Chris Evans is pictured in the car just as he is announced as the replacement presenter of the hit show Top Gear in a multi-million pound deal that made him the BBC’s highest paid presenter at that time.

Circa 2011 – Believed to have been sold to television and radio presenter Chris Evans around this time.

2002 – Sold by the subsequent 2^nd Earl of Snowdon, the now former Viscount Linley, in order to pay towards the death duties incurred by his late mother’s estate.

1986 – Valued at £30,000 or the equivalent of £90,000 today ($128,000, €104,000 or درهم469,000 today), according to Aston Martin Magazine and given by the 1^st Earl of Snowdon to his son, then Viscount Linley, to mark the latter’s 25^th birthday.

Dates unknown in this period – Kept at the National Motor Museum at Beaulieu, Hampshire.

Circa 1965 – Sold “at a loss” to Lord Snowdon, the former Anthony Armstrong-Jones, according to GQ magazine.

July 1964 – First registered in the name of Peter Sellars. The cost of the convertible new at the time was £4,490 or the equivalent of £93,000 today ($132,000, €108,000 or درهم484,000 today). This was “well above the average house price of the time, assuring that only a privileged few were able to afford one. The epitome of British elegance and class, celebrities snapped them up – Peter Sellers, Beryl Reid, and even HRH Princess Margaret could be spotted in a DB5 convertible,” according to RM Sotheby’s whom sold a 1965 left-hand drive example for £1.9 million ($2.7 million, €2.2 million or درهم9.9 million) in December 2017.

June 1, 2021
Bonkers Book Sexchange Saga

Reaction of “pooterish residents” of Hurstbourne Tarrant, Hampshire to community library becoming a “book sexchange” is laughable and condemned as “righteous indignation”

‘Book Sexchange’ scandal hits Hants – You’d have thought any populous would be grateful, especially in times of lockup boredom, for a book exchange, but the raucous residents of Hurstbourne Tarrant in Hampshire (population 851) most certainly are not after erotic fiction was discovered in their phone box library.

Echoing the uproar that followed our having made bookseller Olivia Clements a ‘Heroine of the Hour’ in February after she installed a free community library box in her garden in Exeter, a spokesman for the local council complained: “We love our phone box library but we don’t love salacious adult literature being left in there… Please find another outlet for your collection.”

Speaking to The Sun, a local councillor, Kirsty North, furiously exclaimed: “This certainly wasn’t what I had in mind when the village bought the kiosk,” whilst an angry parish council clerk named Miriam Edwards added:

“A lot of people don’t find this funny. We don’t want this made into some sort of laughing stock and a sideshow when the underlying issue is actually very important. We don’t want somebody acting like it’s OK to put porn in a public phone box.”

Analysed further by Daniel Johnson in The Article yesterday also in an article titled: “The great British telephone box library scandal,” the “righteous indignation” and of the “pooterish” South Downs National Park residents about “smutty paperbacks in a phone box” was deservedly condemned. He quite rightly observed:

“Is it possible that the good people of Hurstbourne Tarrant are stuck in a 1950s time warp, perhaps connected with their telephone kiosk library? (Where is Doctor Who when you need her?) Has news of the Lady Chatterley trial and the abolition of censorship yet to reach this corner of the South Downs National Park, an area of outstanding natural beauty and seemingly of unnatural prudishness?”

“The point about libraries – even very, very small ones – is that they almost always contain books that are ‘inappropriate’ for somebody. But the moral jeopardy of letting children roam fancy-free among the bookcases is far outweighed by the value of serendipity – the magical moment when a child discovers the joy of reading for him or herself.”

“To treat adult literature as dangerous is to infantilise young readers – and counter-productive, too. Do parents and teachers worry about child protection every time boys and girls set foot in the local public library, lest they stray into the ‘grown-up’ sections? In reality, most are more likely to be glad that the kids are reading books at all, rather than spending their leisure looking at who-knows-what online. Their innocence is at incomparably greater risk from the smartphones they all have.”

In March 2013, we reported that the number of BT telephone boxes in the UK had declined from 92,000 to just 51,500 in 2012. Since then many more have been removed and in their place a book exchange would surely be a good thing for any community – unless, of course, you are a doddering denizen of Hurstbourne Tarrant, of course.

Bonkers Book Sexchange Saga 2021 – A unnamed less prudish resident of Hurstbourne Tarrant told ‘The Sun’: “I have heard that there are some salacious books – I’m number 20 in the queue.” The paper added: “One title is ‘Hot Blooded’ by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguié. The blurb reveals that one character is ‘struggling to resist her own animal urges’.”

Bonkers Book Sexchange Saga 2021 – When we featured the generous act of Olivia Clements in setting up a community library in her garden in Exeter in February, a tedious twerp named Mark Wicks took to Twitter and complained that it was “a really middle class thing to do with no real understanding of collection management or the role of libraries as a place maker in the local community.” We’d like to know what good Mr Wicks has ever done for anybody and what he has to say about Hurstbourne Tarrant’s ‘book sexchange’ scandal also.

March 13, 2021
Hero of the Hour – Marcus Rashford MBE

As the public quite rightly rubbish a disgraceful ‘Mail on Sunday’ diatribe against the campaigning footballer Marcus Rashford, he responds with dignity and launches a book club

Two days ago, The Mail on Sunday’s Andy Buckwell and Max Aitchison launched what was this morning termed “a sinister attack on a young black man” by Jonathan Liew in the Guardian.

In their frankly completely irrelevant and unnecessary diatribe, Buckwell and Aitchison banged on about how the school meal campaigning footballer Marcus Rashford MBE had bought “five luxury homes” with mortgages “from the Queen’s bank, Coutts.”

Pointedly, aside from these perfectly legitimate buy-to-let investments, the pair trivially carped on about Rashford trademarking his name in the US and quite rightly of this Liew responded: “Virtually none of this is really anyone’s business.”

Aside from the fact that Rashford has done nothing illegal, one would have thought The Mail on Sunday could have put their resources to use instead to investigate the allegations of huge tax avoidance against the House of Commons Leader, Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Given that one Maureen Fitzsimmons’ tweet about that has been liked by 22,200 individuals and retweeted 7,900 times, one could suggest that newsworthy, but since Rees-Mogg’s activities are not much different to those of the Mail’s very own proprietor Viscount Rothermere’s very own tax affairs, they wouldn’t be wanting to touch that with a barge pole.

Elsewhere this morning, humble and decent Marcus Rashford – whom responded to the Buckwell and Aitchison jamboree by quite rightly stating: “Ok, so let’s address this. I’m 23. I came from little. I need to protect not just my future but my family’s too. To do that I made a decision at the beg [SIC] of 2020 to start investing more in property. Please don’t run stories like this alongside refs to ‘campaigning.’” – announced plans to launch a book club. Unsurprisingly, the Mail showed very little interest in that.

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Rashford sensibly addressed the hateful piece by Andy Buckwell and Max Aitchison with a civilised response on Sunday. In doing show, he showed himself as the bigger man.

Amongst those who leapt to his defence were businesswoman Deborah Meaden. One Twitter user, Jon Butterworth, added: “Wonder if Andy Buckwell or Max Aitchison ever did anything decent that helped anyone or scored a good goal.” Another pointed out that Aitchison himself supposedly lives in a £1.2 million home.

This morning, humble Rashford shared news of a book club he is working on to help children experience “escapism” from reading news. In a show of dignity, he didn’t even bother to mention Aitchison or Buckwell.

Maureen Fitzsimmons’ tweet about the affairs of government minister Jacob Rees-Mogg has attracted huge attention on Twitter. It has attracted no interest from the ‘Mail’ – how terribly surprising. Not.

November 17, 2020
Bog Off Bungling Boris

Matthew Steeples suggests now is time for bungling Boris Johnson to quit; he is not in control and he has no coordinated plan for Brexit or coronavirus

Boris Johnson hates his job. That is plain given this showman has never been one for detail and whilst our sources tell us he’ll be gone by Christmas, I’d put money on this chaotic cretin sadly limping on into the spring.

Slammed even in the crusading From The Hornets Nest blog this week as “a liability,” “a buffoon,” “a music hall turn” and a man of “muddled thinking” Johnson’s disastrous handling of the Marcus Radford/free school meals debacle shows him as beyond out of touch.

As FTHN quite rightly highlighted, Johnson’s decision to pose with a fat laden sausage sandwich during a visit to a Reading hospital with Prue Leith this week is indicative of his ridiculousness at a time when he should be focused on fighting obesity rather than encouraging it.

Whilst the departure of ‘Bosie The Clown’ would be very much welcomed given his thus far completely disastrous handling of both Brexit and coronavirus, who would come next? Rishi ‘King of the Bailout’ Sunak plainly wants the job, but is he upto it?

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Bog Off Bungling Boris – Bungling Boris Johnson visited a hospital with Prue Leith (who’d previously quit the Conservative Party after ironically condemning the party over food standards).

October 29, 2020
Schofe Banned

As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host ‘Schofe’ have another meltdown as a result?”

Whilst nobody was surprised when Bangladesh, Egypt, India, Iran, Kenya, Kuwait, Liberia, Malaysia, Pakistan, Senegal, Singapore, Sri Lanka and Thailand amongst others banned The Satanic Verses in 1988 for supposed blasphemy against Islam, news that Phillip Schofield’s memoirs have been outlawed from sale in Wales might actually surprise.

Though no doubt an affront to literature in terms of the quality and relevance of its content, an image of Schofield’s recently released Life’s What You Make It in a taped off section of a Tesco store in Cardiff appeared yesterday in The Sun. Appropriately, however, given the shocking reviews the tome has deservedly received, a notice was pinned to the shelving stating: “We are unable to sell non-essential items at this time.”

We’re left wondering: Did ‘Schofe’ hit his “only fit for the bin” boxed wine as a result? If so, we can only pity those dealing with his hangover this morning.

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Schofe Banned – With his memoirs banned from sale in supermarkets in Wales and his boxed wine rubbished as “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena,” ‘Schofe’ no doubt had another temper tantrum. Poor lamb.

Schofe Banned – D. H. Lawrence’s ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ was banned from sale in the United Kingdom for violation of obscenity laws. The ban was lifted in 1960 and one is now left wondering how long Phillip Schofield’s tome will remain on a list of banned books for.

October 25, 2020
Grubby Story Time With Fergie & Friends

‘Randy Andy’s’ ex-wife Sarah Ferguson excels (again) in sharing videos of coronavirus bailout money grabber Sir Richard Branson’s son on her not so popular YouTube channel

You’d have thought Sarah Ferguson – ex-wife and live-in comedy sidekick of he who doesn’t sweat (unless he’s in the Woking branch of Pizza Express or allegedly grubbing around doing a bit of groping in the mansion of a now dead paedophile) Prince Andrew – would have kept her gob shut for once, but no, as ever, this weird whackjob just could not help herself.

On Saturday, in spite of stories circulating about the pugnacious pair being sued for £6.7 million after not stumping up what they owe on a £20 million Swiss ski chalet (as only these spendthrifts could be expected to do) and yet more tawdry revelations about Prince Andrew inappropriately paying £355,927 to his former private secretary via his PACT charity (strange that that shares a name with that of their “charity tin rattling” mate Baroness Meyer’s now-deservedly-also-closed-down “venture”), Sarah Ferguson decided to take to YouTube.

Here, on her not especially popular channel (she has just 2,500 followers), she shared a video of the son of one of the most loathed individuals of the coronavirus lockdown, Sir Richard Branson, strumming on a guitar and reading a story (it must have been hard for him to sit on a very expensive private island doing that whilst daddy was out begging for yet more millions of public wonga).

Sarah Ferguson seems to think reading stories to children on YouTube will help redeem her reputation; the investors and creditors owed millions quite rightly think otherwise.

As part of her crassly titled “Fergie & Friends” (does she actually have any left?) stories series, Sam Branson read from a book titled: I Am Human: A Book of Empathy. Somewhat laughably, the tale about “finding my way and choosing my path” (something Fergie most definitely isn’t terribly good at) had only received 12 likes on YouTube by Monday morning and given any chance of forgiveness for the ‘Duchess of Dork’ – whom also is facing legal actions from Chinese investors whom she took over £500,000 from – is all but over, she’d perhaps have done better to have parked this particular episode.

Also last week, self-declared “spokesperson, best-selling children’s author, businesswoman, wellness advocate, producer and global humanitarian” (is there anything she can’t turn her money snatching hands to?) Ferguson joined LinkedIn. God only knows why she took such a course of action as frankly no one in their right mind would employ this train wreck. Frankly, instead, the well-known toe sucking wastrel would have done better to have simply done something else: She should have given up on the idea of ‘work’ (not that she knows what such even is) and taken ‘Randy Andy’ and retired together Sotogrande. If she did that, perhaps poor old ‘Brenda’ might get out of supposedly once again having to pay off yet more of the on-off couple’s bills and the non-sweater could save a dime and enjoy yet another freebie on the golf course.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzFslpUsGyc

May 11, 2020
Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown

Matthew Steeples highlights three things that are keeping him going through coronavirus lockdown living (aside from not running out of gin)

Having found myself ensconced in East Anglia for five weeks now –never did I imagine myself staying in a rural place so long – and having not actually got into a car or visited a town in that period, I busy my days reading, writing and walking a bit. It’s been especially strange not to physically see friends and I can’t say I’ve fathomed ‘House Party,’ but my telephone device has certainly seen more Bob Hoskins-esque “It’s Good To Talk” action than ever before.

Whilst most people will tell you Netflix has been their best source of entertainment during this period and I will most certainly join them in commending ‘binge watching’ Ozark, I’ve found time to do things that I’ve always put-off such as clear out my iPhone’s address book and chuck out paperwork I’m never going to actually get round to dealing with. It’s been a time to read and reflect and an opportunity to listen to music a little more often and here follows a few other ‘lockdown discoveries’ of mine that you might find useful:

Harvey Nichols

Nobody would imagine that Patsy and Edina’s favourite shop, Harvey Nichols, would be the bargain food and drink store of the lockdown, but given they don’t charge for next-day delivery wherever you are in the UK and there’s no minimum spend, here is an unbeatable service. Unlike some greedy online booze retailers (some of whom have actually increased their prices and introduced preposterously high delivery charges to coincide with us all being stuck at home), you can get a bottle of the heather-hinted, 43% ABV Edinburgh Gin for just £32, a jar of highly addictive ginger and chilli jam for £3.95 or an utterly delicious asparagus and shrimp risotto that feeds two for just £5.95. Add half a glass of white wine and Bob’s Your Uncle and Fanny’s Your Aunt.

Podcasts and Radio Plays

I’ve become addicted to true crime podcasts such as Murder Mile (in spite of the most recent one I listened to being about the appalling murder of my late friend Robert Troyan in Mount Street Mayfair in 2013) in the last weeks. An especially gritty and somewhat grim example is The Clearing, an eight-episode serialisation based on the crimes of the American serial killer Ed Edwards (AKA ‘Wayne’ Edwards) that has been lauded by the Guardian as “an immense achievement.”

Equally gripping, if you haven’t heard it already (I’m listening to it for a second time), is BBC Radio 4’s rerun of GF Newman’s The Corrupted. Featuring a fictional dodgy MP interacting with real political figures from the past including Margaret Thatcher and Douglas Hurd, here is something for political geeks to get their teeth into before the ‘B-word’ again raises its ugly head once coronavirus fades into the background.

‘The Quiz’ on Facebook

Some of us were already playing before orders to stay indoors arrived, but the ‘Quiz Planet’ app on Facebook has proved a charming way to interact with friends from near and afar. Some of the questions do border on the inane and others have induced a Major Charles Ingram-esque cough on my part, but if you want to while away the hours, do sign up and if you want someone to thrash, try challenging me.

And Then… What’s Next?

Most of all, of course, what will really keep you going through all this is this: A day will soon come when you’ll again be eating, drinking and being merry with your nearest and dearest at your very favourite establishment. Whether you fancy fish and chips or a bottle of Chablis (or both), it’ll come and it’ll come not a moment too soon.

For now, do heed the words of the late Mr Hoskins: “What men call chatter, really does matter. It’s about being a friend. Having the time to listen. It’s what makes the world goes round.” Call a friend or, if you’re not a technophobe like me, ‘give’ them a Zoom.

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April 24, 2020
A Derelict Doer-Upper

Derelict 18^th century Oxfordshire mansion with 125 acres of land for sale for £10 million

A 125-acre Oxfordshire estate with Humphrey Repton landscaped grounds has gone on sale for £10 million ($13.2 million, €11.3 million or درهم48.7 million) in spite of being described as being “in poor order.”

The Coombe Park Estate at Whitchurch-on-Thames is situated at the end of a ¾ of a mile long private drive just 49 miles from Central London. Constructed in 1865, the original mansion was later demolished and what now remains consists of a 13,368 square foot house created from the original servants’ quarters, a coach house and an extension built in 1982.

Featuring 4 main reception rooms, an indoor swimming pool, 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, Coombe Park itself “has been unoccupied a number of years” but now presents an opportunity for a buyer to unleash its “enormous potential” according to selling agents Strutt & Parker.

In addition to the main residence, there are three additional houses, an orangery, a coach house, offices, a sports pavilion, an indoor tennis court, stabling and a boat house included in the sale.

According to a blog from 2008, the estate – which was used by the American military as a rest and recuperation ‘flak house’ during the Second World War – has been in the ownership of an individual from Rotterdam since 1982. He is described as having now “sadly lost his fortune.”

October 17, 2017
Forget flooding

Thameside boat house that will no longer suffer from flooding for sale for £3.75 million

A riverside home might be wonderful on a sunny summer’s day but when the water rises, they can be an absolute nightmare. The Boat House at Goring in Oxfordshire previously fell into that category, but thanks to a £200,000 food protection and waterproofing scheme, it’s now pretty much immune to the worst the Thames can throw at it and now it’s for sale.

Forget flooding – The Boat House, High Street, Goring, Reading, Oxfordshire, RG8 9AB – £3.75 million or $4.9 million or €4.42 million

The house was semi-submerged under water in early 2014

Offered by Savills, the 4,547 square foot two-storey house comes with not only a wet boathouse which has moorings suitable for a skiff but also a number of private mooring rings along its 245 foot frontage to the River Thames.

Standing in more than an acre of land, the house– which has been renovated since it was subjected to serious flooding in early 2014 – features 4 reception rooms, 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. It comes with a detached 1 bedroom cottage, a brightly coloured gypsy caravan and a garage block with a gym and workshop.

Of the flooding prevention measures now installed at the property, Biocraft, the firm that carried out the work, commented:

“We developed an innovative and comprehensive flood defence scheme in collaboration with our structural engineer and succeeded in exceeding the clients’ expectations, providing them with security and peace of mind against future flooding”.

The selling agents seek £3.75 million or $4.9 million or €4.42 million for the property.

This room is described as “the river drawing room” and features a vaulted ceiling with exposed timbers, oak flooring and doors opening to a timber balcony overlooking the river

A dining area with doors that open onto the garden and overlooks the river beyond

It forms part of this kitchen with its vaulted ceiling

Another dining area

There are a total of four reception rooms

The master bedroom is one of five bedrooms in the main house

A view of the house from the garden

There is also a one bedroom cottage in the grounds

The garden has been professionally landscaped

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August 7, 2016