Tag: PR

Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office

Range Rover developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for a knockdown price of just £15,000

A once most expensive ‘mobile office’ on the road is to be sold for next to nothing today when Silverstone Auctions will offer a totally though unsurprisingly unique Range Rover for a sum 96% lower than it cost to produce at their NEC Classic online auction.

The 1997 Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) “bespoke project” was originally developed as a “mobile office” concept in conjunction with the television presenter and spiritually wacky Noel Edmonds’ Unique Group.

Noel Edmonds is best known for his partnership with the character Mr Blobby from November 1992 onwards. Subsequently, more recently, his decision to share strange, David Icke-esque views and disputes with financiers have been what gain him more column inches.

Used initially as a pilot test and PR showcase by Cellnet, Land Rover and Sony, the car came with every imaginable piece of technology of the time. Here was a 4×4 not intended for taking its owner to his butt on the grouse moor, but more a bizarre kind of business space which even Warren Buffett might have found over the top.

Amongst technology crammed into the consequently weighty motor are a phone system with three telephone handsets, a fax machine, a HP printer, various laptops, a Sony VHS system, voice recognition software, web cams, a black box video recorder and Sony infrared headphones. As a result, according to an interview with the then owner in 2018, the Range Rover manages a very unimpressive 8 miles per gallon.

Noel Edmond’s chubby mate, Mr Blobby, is unlikely to have ever ridden in this ‘mobile office’ given there’d barely be space for his posterior, but one thing’s for certain: This must number amongst the fastest depreciating cars in history and it is certainly not surprising that its production run never expanded beyond one-of-one.

The Names & Numbers – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC

14^th November 2020 – To be auctioned by Silverstone Auctions with an estimate of £15,000 to £18,000 ($19,800 to $23,800, €16,700 to €20,100 or درهم72,700 to درهم87,200).

2020 – Offered for sale on website AutoVolo for £24,995 ($33,000, €28,000 or درهم121,000) with 86,000 miles on the clock.

2018 – Sold via eBay to Jaguar Land Rover employee Nav Singh Rai for “just under” £8,000 ($10,600, €8,900 or درهم38,800) with 81,000 miles on the clock. It featured in Drivers Insight magazine in October that year and in Land Rover Monthly in August 2019.

January 2012 – Offered for sale by Coys with an estimate of £25,000 to £35,000 ($33,000 to $46,000, €28,000 to €39,000 or درهم121,000 to درهم170,000)

2001 – Sold by Noel Edmonds.

1997 – Cost of development estimated at £450,000 ($594,000, €502,000 or درهم2.2 million) and technology was supplied by Noel Edmonds’ Unique Group. The ‘mobile office’ Range Rover was used subsequently sold to Noel Edmonds after being used for PR purposes by Cellnet, Land Rover and Sony – supposedly to avoid it being scrapped.

Pictured top: Noel Edmonds with the car (date unknown).

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

A recent image of the car. It is described as “coming to auction needing a little love and attention.”

The rear passenger space is primarily dominated by office equipment.

A bulky computer certainly absorbs a lot of space.

The car offers plenty of options to watch Noel Edmonds on its screens.

The driver gets plenty to play with also.

There’s a load more (out-of-date) technology in the front.

And the boot most certainly must contain a fair amount of wiring also.

Mr Edmonds plainly wanted to advertise his love of the word “unique” on a car he eventually bought to save from the scrapyard.

The engine of the ‘mobile office,’ however, is still pretty standard.

The car has featured in various magazine articles; in this one its owner was deservedly described as “special.”

November 13, 2020
Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music

Time to face the music – Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse for ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York and the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell – just as her feudal family crawl out of the woodwork and a silver-haired, Savile Row suited socialist PR man tries to get her out of the clink

On Saturday, we shared the most telling and cringeworthy quotes from the first unsealed 2016 deposition of Ghislaine Maxwell.

Aside from the fact that ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ deviant daughter claimed not to know what “sexual acts” were and asked for the “definition of a sex toy,” this grubby woman showed herself as a bit of a liar by repeatedly contradicting herself.

Miss Maxwell – who couldn’t remember being gifted a fancy car or two (as one naturally does) and whom claimed she had no idea as to how Jeffrey Epstein turned from a school teacher to living it big bollocks billionaire style – now, along with the Duke of York, faces worse still as lawyers for her alleged victim Virginia Giuffre are now seeking the unsealing of a second deposition given three months after the first.

Of this news, this morning The Sun reported that “a source close to the case” remarked: “Maxwell was asked to answer questions that she did not answer on the previous occasion. Prince Andrew did come up during the course of the interview.”

Elsewhere, yesterday, the Mirror showed further pressure piling on mucky madam Maxwell. They reported that French prosecutors have also launched an investigation into her activities alongside the equally repugnant alleged “gifter” of three French 12-year-old-girls to Jeffrey Epstein, still missing ‘model agent’ and alleged rapist and child procurer Jean-Luc Brunel.

Ludicrously, however, this morning, The Steeple Times can add that Maxwell’s relatives have been curiously emailing high profile contacts claiming that their sibling is “looking forward to her day in court” as it will “give Ghislaine the opportunity she requires to clear her name.” Of this a society source who contacted us remarked: “’Delusional’ and ‘deranged’ were the words that sprang immediately to mind when I received such. I did not reply and I did not join Donald Trump in sending good wishes.”

Plainly ‘Ghastly Ghislaine’s’ family are as crackers as her and elsewhere on Friday, The Telegraph announced that the once “unceremoniously dumped by British Airways” PR tittle-tattler Brian Basham – a bombastic beast known for his “devil-may-care attitude” to detail – has been recruited to run what he’s optimistically calling ‘Operation GGO’ or ‘Get Ghislaine Out of Jail.’ Frankly, this supposed “street fighter” of communications has got as much chance of that as Madeleine McCann turning up on Shergar the racehorse and this “socialist and vocal republican” may as well just quit whilst he’s still ahead.

Instead of moaning that she’s not allowed to wear a bra and complaining that she hasn’t got a desk, a computer and the vegan food she so craves, we’d suggest, it’s time Ghislaine Maxwell finally did the decent thing instead. This petulant pillock needs to face the music, save her victims from further distress and simply admit to her cacophony of crimes.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music – Not only does mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell face a trial in America, this grasping grinch is now also looking at potential charges for her grubby activities in France alongside fellow alleged paedophile procurer Jean-Luc Brunel.

Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music – Ghislaine Maxwell with Donald Trump. Will he be sending her any further ‘good wishes’? He’d instead probably do best to simply shut up.

Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music – In 1997, Brian Basham tried to “shrug off” the title of “former British Airways PR man” according to ‘PR Week’ magazine; in 2020, he’s definitely scraping the barrel in seeking to become “the man who tried to get the alleged paedophile procurer Ghislaine Maxwell out of the clink.” Here, in this YouTube clip from 2015, he speaks at a conference about government and finance.

October 26, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Laurence Fox

Laurence Fox has morphed from a much loved tellybox treasure into a tedious twerp; his new political party deserves only ‘destination dustbin’

Just as Nigel Farage is yet again “contemplating a return to frontline politics” (no surprises there given his past on-off-on-off and again antics when he’s in need of a bit more ‘wonga wonga’), another tedious loudmouth is sticking his oar in also.

Laurence Fox, whom we saluted as a ‘Hero of the Hour’ for quite rightly calling out the ‘MegExit’ saga as self-absorbed nonsense in January 2019, has sadly since morphed into a bit of a nutter and not only has decided to launch a political party, but also had ‘Freedom’ and ‘Space’ tattooed in a most ghastly fashion on his hands.

Fox – whose acting abilities in Lewis made him a middle-aged housewives firm favourite between 2006 and 2015 – has, it seems, changed from a “shy around women, sensitive and a bit naïve” Harrovian school boy into a BNP-esque bully determined to “fight the culture wars” (whatever they are).

The actor has allegedly raised £5 million already for his ludicrous ‘cause’ and “hopes to stand dozens of candidates across the UK” for a party he has provisionally named Reclaim. On his website, he pompously states:

“Over many years it has become clear that our politicians have lost touch with the people they represent and govern. Moreover, our public institutions now work to an agenda beyond their main purpose.”

“Our modern United Kingdom was born out of the respectful inclusion of so many individual voices. It is steeped in the innate values of families and communities, diverse in the truest sense but united in the want and need to call this island home.”

“The people of the United Kingdom are tired of being told that we represent the very thing we have, in history, stood together against.”

“We are all privileged to be the custodians of our shared heritage. We can reclaim a respectful nation where all are included and none are ashamed to have somewhere to call home.”

“I have been so encouraged by the support I have received by those wishing to add their voices to this reclamation of our values.”

“Our country is now in desperate need of a new political movement which promises to make our future a shared endeavour, not a divisive one.”

Ironically, in a not so cryptic reference to Inspector Morse, Fox – whose website ironically links to a reputation management and crisis issues firm, Reputation Communications, whose clients also number the Equality and Human Rights Commission – ends by repeating: “This is now my endeavour.”

Frankly, here is a man whom speaks nothing but utter gibberish and someone whose party sounds quite beyond pointless. Whilst Laurence Fox’s political movement will undoubtedly fast fade into obscurity, those hideous inkings sadly are with him for life. The poor chap needs only to find himself a ‘safe’ space and he needs ‘freedom’ to about his stupidity. Next!

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Moron of the Moment – Laurence Fox has transformed from housewives favourite to far-right fruit loop very rapidly during 2020.

Fox’s ex-wife Billie Piper has previously contradicted his political views and previously made her thoughts clear about Boris Johnson’s Conservatives party by sporting a mock Tesco style T-shirt that stated: “Tories – Very little help.”

Fox’s downward spiral began after he appeared on BBC’s ‘Question Time’ in March this year. Initially, whilst many suggested he was quite right, he subsequently got rather carried away and lurched off into

Subsequently, this month Fox declared he’d been “shunned” by his own profession and demanded “the silent majority started to become a louder majority.” He declared intellectual activists “fragile children” and suggested the “establishment” have been “making children hyper-racially aware.”

September 28, 2020
Wally of the Week – Lady Green

BHS bandit Sir Philip Green’s wife’s bleating about being stuck on her yacht in Monaco is nothing but pathetic; Lady Green plainly has no comprehension of how out of touch she truly is with reality

The world said “diddums” for Sir Philip Green and his ludicrously wealthy, tax minimising wife Tina today with news that the couple cannot take their £100 million gin palace on a “family cruise” due to two staff onboard testing positive for coronavirus.

In an article titled: “Sir Shifty Cannot Be Shifted,” The Sun reported comments from Lady Green – whose grubby “Benny Hill-esque” husband ought to have been stripped of his title after having wrecked the British high street and treated his workforce so appalling – where she bleated about being stuck in Monaco and having a yellow flag of quarantine imposed on their vessel.

Lady Green plainly hasn’t learnt from her and her husband’s disastrous Prince Andrew-esque past forays into media relations. The public really couldn’t give two hoots for her situation; they’d rather the two of them did the decent thing and learnt the art of treating their employees and the British taxpayer properly.

Pictured top: A cartoon of Marie Antoinette-like Lady Green – a woman whose extravagance knows no bounds, but whose sympathy for ordinary folk could be summed up as: “Let them eat cake.”

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

On Twitter, ‘Metro’ mocked Lady Green and her husband and stated: “Our thoughts are with anyone quarantining on a superyacht at this difficult time.”

Sir Philip Green and his wife have enjoyed a life of luxury with Bentleys and Louis Vuitton tennis racket covers whilst their workers have been forced into penury.

Previously another Twitter user, @RedFlagUK, pointed out that “greedy capitalist” Sir Philip “robbed people’s pensions to purchase himself a luxury yacht.”

In April, Led By Donkeys quite rightly reminded Sir Philip Green – whom was branded a cross between “Shylock and Al Capone” by the actor Steven Berkoff in The Steeple Times in September 2016 – of his contradictory behaviour alongside an image of him looking like a beached whale.

September 2, 2020
No Gaynes
Cambridgeshire mansion used by Special Operations Executives in the Second World War and as a borstal subsequently for sale; Gaynes Hall is next to the prison that housed Max Clifford and was briefly a cannabis farm in 2019
- Grade II* listed Georgian mansion in Cambridgeshire for sale for £2.65 million in spite of being in far from perfect condition and next door to a prison housing 1,220 convicted sex offenders.
- The estate was owned by the aristocratic Duberly family from 1798 until 1940. An earlier house on the house had been home to Oliver Cromwell’s namesake and uncle.
- It was requisitioned in the Second World War by the Special Operations Executive. Hitler was so annoyed by the operations at Gaynes Hall that he supposedly nicknamed the place “the hornet’s nest.”
- After the war, the hall became a borstal and after that closed, part of the estate became HM Prison Littlehey – famous for housing PR ‘guru’ Max Clifford, victim of a miscarriage of justice Stephen Downing and Australian cricketer Alex Hepburn.
- More recently, the estate came to public attention after being discovered to be the centre of operations for drug lords. £250,000 of cannabis were seized there in 2019.
In June 2019, once ritzy Gaynes Hall at Perry, near Huntingdon in Cambridgeshire came to public attention when a drugs baron who’d turned part of the building into a cannabis farm was jailed. For his troubles, Nebir Tahiraj was relieved of £250,000 of drugs and ‘gained’ a sentence of 13 months.

Grade II* listed and built circa 1800 for Sir James Duberly (1758 – 1832), the gault brick house was originally plaster rendered. Of three storeys plus cellars and seven bays, the 20,795 square foot building is currently being marketed by agents Wilson Peacock for £2.65 million – up from £2.2 million back in 2019.

Gaynes Hall (also known as ‘Gaines Hall’ occasionally) stands in 16 acres of grounds including lakes and a moat and comes with a three bedroom cottage “requiring full modernisation and refurbishment.” It was home to the Duberly family until 1940 when it was requisitioned by Special Operations Executives (SOE) on the instructions of Winston Churchill.

Supposedly, according to the local Parish Council’s website, Hitler was so exasperated by the activities at Gaynes Park that he referenced the house “the hornet’s nest.” It was known locally during this period as a “spy school” and its master, Wing Commander Thomas Odett, was nicknamed ‘The White Rabbit’ on the basis that “he was always popping up in unexpected places.”

After the war, the mansion became the governor’s residence and administrative offices of the newly created Her Majesty’s Borstal Gaynes Hall and remained in that use until 1983 when the borstal closed. Her Majesty’s Prison Littlehey, which is best known as the place of death of the public relations ‘guru’ paedophile Max Clifford, was subsequently opened next door and residents of Perry get to hear its sirens periodically if a prisoner escapes or there is a disturbance.

In 1985, AIM Cambridge (later AIM Technology) leased the hall and from the Ministry of Defence and converted it into offices. When their business failed, the building became empty and in 1990, Gaynes Hall was sold again. In the years since, it has been in mixed use.

In need of some attention – Gaynes Hall has variously been used as a grand residence by aristocracy, requisitioned for use by Special Services Executives (SOE), served as an administrative office and governor’s house for a borstal and been converted to offices. It is currently configured in ‘mixed-use’ format and includes 20,975 square foot of accommodation.

An aristocratic drug farm – Nebir Tahiraj was imprisoned in 2019 after having turned part of Gaynes Hall into a cannabis farm. He was caught with over £250,000 of drugs on the premises after neighbours complained about the noxious smell.

Proximity to a prison – An aerial view of Her Majesty’s Prison Littlehey. Gaynes Hall is situated just to the west.

Rapists next door – Convicted rapist and ex-cricketer cricketer Alex Hepburn, Stephen Downing (whose conviction for murder was overturned in 2002 after he had served 27 years in prison) and paedophile Max Clifford (who died in the prison) are connected by having been imprisoned at the Category C male prison HM Prison Littlehey. It has a capacity for 1,200 male prisoners – who all have been convicted of sexual offences.

A once grand gentleman’s residence – Gaynes Hall in an image taken circa 1913. An earlier house on the site was leased for 21 years by Sir Oliver Cromwell (1566 – 1655), the uncle and namesake of the lord protector, from 1599.

The Names & Numbers – Gaynes Hall, Perry, Great Staughton, Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, PE28 0ST, United Kingdom

December 2019 – Listed for sale by Wilson Peacock Country Homes at the increased price of £2.65 million ($3.35 million, €2.96 million or درهم12.32 million).

14^th June 2019 – 35-yeard old Nebir Tahiraj found guilty at Cambridge Crown Court of “being concerned in the production of cannabis” in his flat at Gaynes Hall and jailed for 13 months. When police raided the property, they “found more than 200 plants at varying stages of growth, growing equipment and two large bags of cannabis ready to be sold” worth circa £250,000 ($316,000, €279,000 or درهم1.2 million). He attempted to claim “he was being exploited and kept at the flat against his will,” but the National Crime Agency (NCA) discovered he had been willingly involved.

Mid 2019 – For Sale for £2.2 million ($2.8 million, €2.5 million or درهم10.2 million) through Michael Graham.

March 2019 – Fleet Assist announce they will be moving their business from Gaynes Hall to Ermine Business Park in Huntingdon.

2002 – Purchased by the Malik family (according to Wikipedia).

1994 – 2002 – Owned by the McCallion family (according to Wikipedia).

1985 – Converted to offices and used by firms including AIM Cambridge (AIM Technology) and Fleet Assist in the years subsequently. Part-let as apartments and by the room also for residential use.

1945 – 1983 – Used as the governor’s residence and administrative officers of the Her Majesty’s Borstal Gaynes Hall. ‘Boys’ who were detained there have recounted their experiences on this fascinating Facebook page; it plainly was not an especially pleasant place.

1940 – Requisitioned for use by Special Operations Executive (SOE). Gaynes Hall – under the codename ‘Station 61’ – became the headquarters for Air Liason Officers and used as a ‘hotel’ for them prior to their being dropped into occupied Europe.

1798 – 1940 – Owned by the Duberly family. The present house was constructed for them circa 1800 to the designs of architect George Byfield (circa 1756 – 1813).

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes
June 16, 2020
Heroine of the Hour – Anne Diamond

Anne Diamond is right to call out the Duchess of Sussex’s mint-making collaboration with Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand’s ‘Finding Freedom’ as annoying, daft and delusional

Yesterday, in the Mirror, Anne Diamond launched what some termed a “brutal attack” on the Duchess of Sussex and her collaboration with her favourite mouthpiece PR people, Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand.

Diamond, whom branded ‘MeGain’ “either clever, cynical or both” and suggested the public will “all be daft enough to buy [Scobie and Durand’s book Finding Freedom],” rightly argued that the exercise is nothing but an attempt to sure up a “nest egg.”

Going further of this “laughing all the way to the bank” excuse for a “F*** Off Fund par excellence” for the former Miss Markle, Diamond rightly labelled this tripe “futile” and “annoying.”

Anne Diamond is spot on. This tome of “self-serving conceit” deserves to be pulped.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

May 18, 2020
Dumb & Dumber

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press (but strangely not including ‘The Sunday Sport’) just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers, have yet again proved themselves as nothing but ridiculous attention seekers suggests Matthew Steeples

In a way you can’t blame the “tone death wastrels” that are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for their latest move. In announcing they’ll childishly be ignoring the likes of the Daily Mail and The Sun completely henceforth, one can fathom that they think that such a strategy will make their ‘problems’ go away. Frankly, these entitled brats will very deservedly find quite to the contrary.

In a statement that appears to have been written by someone with no grasp or command of common sense or correct use of grammar, sent at the height of a global pandemic killing thousands each day, attention seeker ‘MeGain’ has achieved exactly what she wants: A return to herself garnering acres of press attention each and every moment. This mendacious madam has utterly no shame – after all, for her, it’s always just been the “me, me and more about bloody me” show – and in calling her out Andrew Neil is quite right. In a tweet, the veteran broadcaster remarked: “Their solipsism is amazing. Can’t they just consign themselves to oblivion for a while? Or at least hire someone who can write a press release in clear, decent English” and now this wicked wench will find to her cost that the silent majority will agree. We have all heard enough and more and more sympathy is switching to poor old Thomas Markle – a father who has been treated utterly abysmally by a deviant who’d put herself in the White House if she thought it might get herself just a bit more fame.

On Friday, the first hearing relating to Associated Newspapers publishing ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’s’ correspondence to her father is due. Plainly, thus, this badly advised move is related to stoking the media up as part of a strategy to fight that case. It won’t work as the public are not as stupid as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex think, but most amusingly as one Dr Midd pointed out on Twitter: “Notice that Meghan and Harry haven’t included the Sunday Sport in their blacklisting, a victory for quality journalism.”

The full statement from the Duke and Duchess of Sussex:

As the Duke and Duchess of Sussex now settle into the next chapter of their lives and no longer receive any publicly funded support, we are writing to set a new media relations policy, specifically as it pertains to your organisation.

Like you, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex believe that a free press is a cornerstone to any democracy – particularly in moments of crisis. At its best, this free press shines light on dark places, telling stories that would otherwise go untold, standing up for what’s right, challenging power, and holding those who abuse the system to account.

It has been said that journalism’s first obligation is to the truth. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex agree wholeheartedly.

It is gravely concerning that an influential slice of the media, over many years, has sought to insulate themselves from taking accountability for what they say or print – even when they know it to be distorted, false, or invasive beyond reason. When power is enjoyed without responsibility, the trust we all place in this much needed industry is degraded.

There is a real human cost to this way of doing business and it affects every corner of society.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have watched people they know – as well as complete strangers – have their lives completely pulled apart for no good reason, other than the fact that salacious gossip boosts advertising revenue.

With that said, please note that The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will not be engaging with your outlet. There will be no corroboration and zero engagement. This is also a policy being instated for their communications team, in order to protect that team from the side of the industry that readers never see.

This policy is not about avoiding criticism. It’s not about shutting down public conversation or censoring accurate reporting. Media have every right to report on The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, good or bad. But it can’t be based on a lie. They also want to be very clear: this is not in any way a blanket policy for all media.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are looking forward to working with journalists and media organisations all over the world, engaging with grassroots media, regional and local media, and young, and up-and-coming journalists, to spotlight issues and causes that so desperately need acknowledging. And they look forward to doing whatever they can to help further opportunities for more diverse and underrepresented voices, who are needed now more than ever.

What they won’t do is offer themselves up as currency for an economy of clickbait and distortion.

We are encouraged that this new approach will be heard and respected.

The publications that the couple will not engage with not engage with henceforth are:

Daily Express

Daily Mail

Daily Mirror

express.co.uk

Mail on Sunday

MailOnline, including US outlet DailyMail.com

mirror.co.uk

Sunday Express

Sunday Mirror

Sunday People

The Sun

The Sun on Sunday

thesun.co.uk

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

April 20, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Eamonn Holmes

Multi-millionaire 5G conspiracy theorist Eamonn Holmes deserves condemnation for inviting a scion to a billion pound fortune on to ‘This Morning’ to discuss COVID-19 instead of a war hero who has raised £4 million for the NHS

The nation is in the midst of dealing with a pandemic and most of us are sat at home in lockdown. ITV1’s This Morning’s Eamonn Holmes, however, yesterday yet again proved he just simply doesn’t get it. This Irishman illustrated it first in claiming the “mainstream media” (which he gets very handsomely rewarded financially to be part of) was hiding a link between 5G technology and coronavirus and now he’s shown himself up similarly by interviewing billionaires ahead of war heroes.

Quite rightly slammed by scientists as “irresponsible” and “ridiculous,” given his stupid words have resulted in attacks on communications masts by paranoid David Icke-types at a time when they are most needed by emergency services, the overpaid dimwit Holmes yet again excelled himself on Tuesday with a failed attempt at an apology. Then, to cap it all, he followed up with a most inappropriate choice of guests on the lowbrow show he co-presents with his wife, Ruth Langsford.

‘Sorry,’ it seemed was the hardest word for dear little Eamonn to say over ‘5G-gate.’ In fact, he didn’t actually say ‘sorry’ at all and, as the show opened, he casually ignored the fact that there had at that point already been 419 complaints to OFCOM about his recklessness. Instead, this buffoon lackadaisically attempted to suggest it was the viewers’ fault for “misinterpreting” his words and in what the Guardian journalist Marina Hyde wittily later termed a “quarter-arsed clarification” stated:

“Before we go onto the programme, I want to clarify some comments that some of you may have misinterpreted from me yesterday, around conspiracy theories and Coronavirus and this involved the roll out of 5G.”

“Both Alice Beer and myself agreed in a discussion on this very programme on fake news that it is not true that and there is no connection between the present national health emergency and 5G and to suggest otherwise would be wrong and indeed it could be possibly dangerous.”

“Every theory relating to such a connection has been proven to be false and we would like to emphasise that.”

“However, many people are rightly concerned and are looking for answers, and that’s simply what I was trying to impart yesterday but for the avoidance of any doubt I want to make it clear there’s no scientific evidence to substantiate any of those 5G theories.”

Whilst that the self-declared “best presenter in the country” Holmes – a moron whom previously reprehensibly “concluded an interview with a rape victim with the words: ‘I hope you take taxis now’” – was then quite correctly declared a “prick” by Count Binface (formerly Lord Buckethead) on Twitter was not surprising, but that he then chose the daughter of a billionaire as a guest for a segment termed: “Life in Lockdown” represented yet another own goal in the midst of a pandemic that is killing thousands.

On a day when it was revealed that a 99-year-old who had recently had a hip replacement, Captain Tom Moore, had raised a staggering sum for the NHS by doing ten laps of his garden per day, the daytime-show should have done an interview with this hero about his life in lockdown. Instead, the This Morning team opted to allow banshee-like, pyjama-clad Tamara Ecclestone – the irrelevant to ordinary folk scion of a family worth some £4 billion – to sit blabbering on whilst Eamonn Holmes bizarrely and most distastefully referenced her father, a dwarf-like man who once appallingly referenced Hitler as someone who “was able to get things done,” as a “stud muffin.” Anyone sane at this point turned off in utter amazement at this bizarre example of crassness.

Viewers, as was subsequently reported in the Mirror, reacted irately in “slamming” Miss Ecclestone – who claimed to have raised some £666,000 for the NHS via her husband’s art gallery business compared to Captain Moore’s singlehanded and rather more impressive £4 million sum in spite of his years and lack of a PR machine – but they should have gone further and actually condemned Eamonn Holmes for not having invited the former army officer on instead of this self-absorbed harpy.

The public might, just might, then have eased off the pressure on this most moronic man with a brain plainly fried by wireless technology waves. It is now time for Eamonn Holmes to be put out to pasture; but whoever is put in charge must make sure this foolish prat is never located anywhere near a 5G mast.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Lord Buckethead reflected the views of many with his analysis of Eamonn Holmes as a “prick.”

Another Twitter user condemned Holmes for choosing Tamara Ecclestone as a guest.

Mirror readers were equally irate.

Meanwhile, back on Twitter another remarked on the “#COVID19 coping tactics of the rich and shameless.”

One Matt Owen pointed out how Holmes has been “wedged-up” by the “mainstream media” for “fuck knows how many years.”

A John Sweeney pointed out that Marina Hyde had bitten “the head off the moron Eamonn Holmes” and added: “He deserves it.”

Holmes was even referenced as being “like a drunk uncle” who “insults all your neighbours and then falls asleep mid vol-au-vent.”

Someone named Stuart Heritage mockingly urged Holmes to: “Fight the power.”

April 15, 2020
A Million for Moolah Minded MeGain

The Duchess of Sussex will be deservedly slammed if she takes £1 million to give a “warts-and-all” tell-everything interview on ‘Oprah’ suggests Matthew Steeples

Things have not quite gone to plan for the former Meghan Markle of late. A major annoyance appeared in the form of a petulant pandemic and it having taken her off the front pages, bang has gone this murky money-grabber’s ability to rake in as much moolah she felt she justifiably deserves.

Now, set for big bills thanks to Donald Trump announcing (quite rightly) that the US will not be paying her and her dimwit, “helpless plus one” husband’s security bill, ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ has found herself in a bit of a quandary. Thankfully for her, in typical style of a woman who threw her own poor father under the bus, it seems, a billionaire ‘bestie’ has charged in and is likely set to provide the perfect solution.

In this morning’s Mirror, it was reported that ‘MeGain’ is disgracefully “about to drop a bombshell on the British royal family” and will be giving a £1 million “warts-and-all interview” to the “US telly powerhouse Oprah Winfrey.” They rather ambitiously term it “the biggest interview of the decade” and suggest that now “she’s very much her own boss,” the ex-turned-wannabe-famous again actress is viewing it as her chance to make her “stunning move.”

In response, we join those suggesting that the Duchess of Sussex has yet again proven herself to be nothing but self-centred and self-serving. Of course she won’t be, but this meddling mazuma-absorbed madam should be utterly ashamed of her sorry self; we expect her efforts to deservedly go down the same way as Sarah, Duchess of York’s car crash interview on 60 Minutes in 2011.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

April 11, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during the coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day; the washed-up wench claims to be “evolving”

Loathsome leech Lindsay Lohan once curiously claimed she was a “normal, nice person, a good person” and that she “[didn’t] have any bad intentions.” She then proceeded to prove herself totally wrong in leaping to the defence of the now convicted sex abuser Harvey Weinstein in 2017.

Jailed for 90 days in 2001 and put in rehab in 2008 (and on many other occasions since), this often violent, deranged, on-off druggie has now decided to revive her music ‘career’ at quite possibly the most inappropriate time – that being on April Fool’s Day during the coronavirus crisis. You simply couldn’t make it up, but, as we all know, ‘Loopy Lindsay’ can’t actually get a PR advisor for toffee.

Some might argue that this move is reflective of this trashbag’s position in society, but that Lohan – whom the term “celebutard” was created in her very honour by Michael Musto some years back – issued a cryptic video on Instagram that ends with the wastrel weirdly stating: “I’m back!” about says it all. Frankly, the public will be the judge of that love and given past performance tends to be a guide to the future, we all already know where this almighty mess is going to end up next.

Here we go again, Lindsay: Another car crash that’s headed to be washed away down the gutter. Next!

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

A Twitter user aptly summed up Lindsay Lohan’s April Fool’s Day 2020 actions.

In her video message on Instagram, the self-absorbed mess showed a message that stated: “Evolution of Lindsay Lohan.”

April 1, 2020