That ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green will get a £50 million personal pay day from the sale of TopShop whilst 20,000 lose their jobs is an utter outrage
‘Badly behaved boozy Brit abroad’ Sir Philip Green likes to spray champagne rather than sip it and now with news that he and his wife are getting a £50 million personal pay day whilst 20,000 lose their jobs at TopShop, the public will be quite rightly outraged if he’s spotted brandishing a bottle or ten of bubbly.
Whilst the temperamental tycoon’s sister, Elizabeth, quite rightly told ‘Sir Shifty’ and ‘Lady Greed’ to man-up and say sorry as “an expression of compassion and responsibility” in January, on Saturday the Guardian reported that 1,155 unsecured creditors of the Green’s collapsed company – amongst them clothing suppliers and landlords – will receive less than 1% of the money owed to them.
Debts to the public purse via HMRC, another creditor, are not included in that tranche of debts also and what also must be remembered is that Sir Philip and Lady Green will still get to live in luxury just as 20,000 of their former staff head off into penury.
Shame on this pair of pigs and shame on Boris Johnson for not already stripping this robber baron of his very much undeserved title.
Join the 251,000 people already calling for the forfeiture committee to strip Sir Philip Green of his knighthood on Change.org by clicking here.
Pictured top: Asset stripper Sir Philip Green with his one-time chum and now jailed sexual abuser Harvey Weinstein.
Sir Shifty’s £50 million Pay Day – Shameless scumbags Sir Philip and Lady Green on a dinghy with two crew members. Presumably, these two chaps will not suffer the same fate as 20,000 other former workers of theirs.Sir Shifty’s £50 million Pay Day – Tubby twerp Sir Philip Green and his family will be able to continue to ‘live-it-up’ on their £100 million superyacht, Lionheart. His former TopShop staff, meanwhile, will now find themselves living on the breadline.
Matthew Steeples slams the likely coverup of the latest Conservative Party sex scandal involving a still unnamed MP as a “French farce” and suggests that the Tories really shouldn’t sweep this matter under the carpet
One would have thought the Conservative Party would have come to its senses after the “French farce” debacle with the currently in the clink abuser ‘Naughty Tory’ ex-MP Charlie Elphicke and his tawdry replacement MP wife, Natalie.
Aside from both Theresa May and Boris Johnson having protected accused and, in some cases, convicted sex pest Members of Parliament in recent years, this morning the Mirror hinted at a coverup over the sidelining of an investigation into a “campaign of control and sexual abuse” of a woman by a “monster Tory MP” – a man said to be a former minister in his 50s.
In the report into this “French farce” of an investigation – which does not name any of the parties involved – the Mirror exclusively shared that the “top lawyer” Nigel Edwards QC has now taken on the woman’s case on a pro bono basis and reported allegations that:
The woman, a lady in her 20s, was supposedly subjected to sexual assaults in July 2019 and October 2019 by the Conservative MP.
The alleged victim claims to have been raped by the MP in January 2020.
The same man is said to have “told her what to wear and screamed if she wasn’t smiling” during a period in which she worked for him.
The woman’s mother told the paper that her daughter was “in shock and sobbing” after incidents and “has since been diagnosed with PTSD and is on medication.”
The same man is said to have threatened the woman on a night out, shouted at her in the street “with raised fists, screaming in her face, and swearing at her.” On that occasion, the then reportedly “tried to push her into a taxi.”
The MP subsequently “demanded” his victim then “come to his office and begged forgiveness” and that is “when one of the sexual assaults happened” allegedly.
The MP then allegedly “told her he’d come after her and destroy her life if she told anyone what happened. If she didn’t do as he said, he boasted that he’d wreck her career.”
14 people with supporting evidence were not questioned by the police.
Relevant documents from Women’s Aid, Rape Crisis and The Havens were not collected by the police.
Key evidence including text messages and phone records were ignored by the police.
Officers dismissed her claims because she was in a relationship with the MP and then “victim blamed” her.
Now, in spite of the police having decided not to proceed with any investigation into the allegations of rape, sexual assault and coercive control, Edwards told the paper:
“We are giving advice as to her options. There could be a civil claim for the damage done. A private prosecution could be considered if all other options have been exhausted.”
“All options will be explored and remain open so justice can be done and ensure any dereliction of duty or abuse of power is not unchallenged.”
Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
A French Farce – This morning’s revelations in the ‘Mirror’ show that the Conservative Party have learnt nothing from the scandal of ‘Naughty Tory’ arse slapper Charlie Elphicke.A French Farce – In October 2017, the ‘Evening Standard’ revealed that a dossier of 36 Conservative MPs accused of “inappropriate behavior towards colleagues, including allegations of sexual misconduct” had been put together by the party. Ludicrously, little-to-nothing was subsequently done about these supposedly “highly inappropriately” behaved abusers and their twisted antics. Now, once again, that the party are sweeping allegations under the carpet is an outrage.A French Farce – There is nothing new about Tory MPs and sex scandals. In 1986, “kinky” Harvey Proctor MP – a man linked to Jeffrey Epstein’s mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell via his then employer – was found guilty of gross indecency with teenagers.
A French Farce – The comedian Andrew Lawrence mocked the “French farce” that is theConservative Party’s attitudes to sexual misconduct to his 26,000 subscribers on YouTube in August 2020, but it must be remembered that the victims of creepy ‘sex pest’ MPs have been subjected to criminal sexual abuse. For that, such offenders should be brought to justice – whoever they may be.
Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home
As we pointed out last March, Rory Stewart would have made a great Mayor of London. Sadly, since he’s no longer in the running, the “inept banger-on about being the son of a bus driver” Labour incumbent Sadiq Khan is getting the bloody easiest ticket-to-ride.
Aside from an especially creepy looking American YouTuber and fan of David Icke named Brian Rose as an independent, all the opposition have managed to put up is a pontificating pillock named Shaun Bailey. This self-declared “different dude” is standing for the Conservative Party in spite of bizarrely previously branding himself “gobby and dangerous.”
Having declared a pointlessly ear-piercing policy of giving free burglar alarms to 300,000 Londoners aged 65 plus and shown himself as a “foolish man with pockets plainly as large as China” in 2020, bombastic Bailey has returned to the fray this week. This Tory twit has now ludicrously stated that he believes 62,670 “homeless people in the capital would be able to save up for a £5,000 deposit to buy a share in a newly-built affordable home.”
Reported on this morning in the Guardian and Mirror, Bailey’s off-the-wall remarks to Inside Housing included:
“I don’t think the £5,000 [deposit to secure a mortgage] will [be a problem for those currently in temporary accommodation]. The mortgage application thing might be a bit tougher … They could save for it, yeah.”
Going further, the Guardian reported that this “man of gimmicks” and “malicious” moron continued with his gibberish:
Pressed by the interviewer on whether he was suggesting a homeless family in bed and breakfast accommodation could afford a deposit, Bailey replied: “Not all of them, but some people could. A full proportion of people could.”
He added: “I know about that situation, I sofa surfed for years. You’re right, I definitely couldn’t have come up with £5,000, but those people I’m not expecting to or asking to. We’ll provide social housing for them.”
Reaction to this nitwit numbskull was unsurprisingly that of “widespread bewilderment” and of him, Lambeth Labour councillor Ed Davie tweeted:
“Famously, people living in poverty usually have at least £5,000 lying around – it’s amazing that it hasn’t occurred to them to simply buy a London property, which are well known for being really cheap. Thank God senior Tories are here to give out this good advice.”
Whilst Sadiq Khan’s policies – such as the extension of Boris Johnson’s bonkers bike lanes – have been equivalent to driving a bus into a brick wall, Shaun Bailey has yet again proven something else: Here, indeed, is a berk who shouldn’t be allowed to be in charge of a bus ticket, let alone Britain’s capital. It’s time, instead, that Bailey was just put back in his box.
Birds of a Feather – Shaun Bailey with Boris Johnson. The fact that the pair “get on well” is proof enough that the loopy wannabe Mayor of London is unfit for office. Birds of a Feather – Shaun Bailey with now former Prime Minister David Cameron. The smug look on this duo’s faces sums up the “f**k the rest of you” attitude of these opportunists; here is a pair whose involvement in politics has caused nothing but disaster for everyone whilst their own pockets get deeper.
Brian Rose’s decision to stand as a candidate to become Mayor of London was understandably greeted with mockery by ‘Coffeezilla’ and described as “some form of joke” by ‘From The Hornets Nest.’
Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris)
Featured in the Mirror this morning, it transpires it’s actually not the real Theresa May who has been on the rob in Whitecross Road, Hereford, but in fact just a body double of the ‘Boys Jobs and Girls Jobs’ loving ex-Prime Minister.
According to the paper, “cops are searching for a grey-haired ‘Theresa May lookalike’ after a woman’s purse was taken from a shop” on 11th December 2020. Going further, they added:
“The force released a CCTV image of a middle aged-looking woman wearing a red jacket similar to the one regularly donned by the ex-Prime Minister.”
“Web users were quick to point out the ‘striking resemblance’ to the current Tory MP for Maidenhead after police began circulating the photo.”
Elsewhere, LADbible reported the story had gone viral on social media with one user commenting:
“Looks like Theresa May fell on tough times after the Brexit fallout.”
Another added:
“Oh Theresa, surely times aren’t that hard. I’m sure Boris and his chums would lend you a fiver.”
Theresa The Tea Leaf – This purse stealer was widely described as a “Theresa May lookalike” after West Mercia Police released a CCTV image of her following a theft inside a Hereford store at around 10.30am on 11th December 2020. Of the theft a spokesperson for the force stated: “It is believed another woman put a newspaper on top of the wallet and then took both the paper and wallet. She then left the shop.”Theresa The Leaf – Lady May MP, herself, is often to be found dining with her ‘Garden Gnome-like’ hubby Sir Philip in Malik’s Tandoori House in Cookham, Berkshire. Here, the owner, is pictured serving her and also posing with another regular, her constituent and convicted paedophile Rolf Harris and his wicked wife Alwyn Hughes.
Management of Fulham Road Italian The Chelsea Corner share their anger at the British government with protest posters against Lockup 3.0 and restaurants being branded “non-essential”
Deservedly featured as one of our ‘Five Stalwart Restaurants for your Rolodex in The Royal Borough’ in May 2019, the management of The Chelsea Corner on Fulham Road, SW10 have quite rightly taken a stand against the latest ludicrous government rules that categorise them as “non-essential.”
Echoing our sentiments last September when ‘Bosie The Clown’ brought in his stupid 10pm bar, pub and restaurant curfew, hardworking Jonny Lekaj has decided to put a number of posters in his windows slamming the blanket closure of restaurants nationwide as an “attack on small businesses.”
Aside from highlighting the fact that multi-national, big businesses like Starbucks and McDonald’s are allowed to continue to operate, Mr Lekaj sensibly argues: “If you can close businesses at will, without a though for anyone’s livelihood, why not close junk food producers? If junk food, alcohol and cigarettes kill 21 million people ever year… Why are those items constantly available?”
He is also correct to highlight the greed of landlords at this time and the uselessness of the government and of them remarked: “Landlords aren’t negotiating with us in RENT, open or closed they want their money! Neither is the GOV helping us with it.”
We salute the management of The Chelsea Corner and urge our readers to stand with them and other small businesses against this shameful business wrecking Tory government.
The Chelsea Corner, 451 Fulham Road, London, SW10 9UZ remains open for takeaway. Telephone: +44 (0) 20 3055 0088.
Pictured top: One of The Chelsea Corner’s notice with, rather ironically, a police car to the left on Sunday 10th January.
Jonny Lekaj, manager of The Chelsea Corner, is right to make a stand against the ludicrous decision to force restaurants to close nationwide in Lockdown 3.0.
The signs at The Chelsea Corner read:
This is an attack to small businesses, our hard work and the people of this country. When is enough enough?
If you are not going to pay my rent, why should I close?
Closed because you’re unsafe in a restaurant where tables get cleaned for every person, where staff uses masks, where everyone uses hand sanitizers… But you are safe to shop at a big company where a product has been touched by thousands and cleaned by no one.
We have a choice to make Eating and having a Place To Live or “Staying Home” as the Gov says. We can’t all do Zoom calls, we aren’t all rich and this shouldn’t be a choice we have to make.
We are all essential businesses as long as we are out here trying to make a living for our children.
Everyone at the Parliament got a raise of £3,000 for doing what? Zoom calls and misleading this country into depression but we the ones fighting to keep food in table are being shut down while following every GUIDELINE that came from them.
Landlords aren’t negotiating with us in RENT, open or closed they want their money! Neither is the GOV helping us with it.
You can go shopping in a supermarket or in a shopping centre with more than 200 people, but you can’t come and eat with your family at a restaurant with a max capacity of 50 people.
Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Costco, McDonald’s, KFC, Starbucks etc can stay open. Only small businesses need to shut down because the highest risk to get infected is inside a small business.
If you can close businesses at will, without a though for anyone’s livelihood, why not close junk food producers? If junk food, alcohol and cigarettes kill 21 million people ever year… Why are those items constantly available?
The Chelsea Corner is a popular neighbourhood Italian restaurant situated at the corner of Fulham Road and Gunter Grove in London, SW10.In another image, captured yesterday, the same police car appears to the left of yet another of The Chelsea Corner’s protest signs.
Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further
On Christmas Eve, we featured the tragic story of Knightsbridge’s Brompton Road morphing into a ‘tent city’ for the homeless and now with a nationwide lockdown this January with ‘Lockup 3.0,’ it has become even more essential that these unfortunate people are given more help.
This morning, for once, came good news in the Guardian in a report about the government telling councils to “redouble their efforts to house all rough sleepers, and make sure they are registered with a GP to enable them to receive a Covid vaccine over the next few weeks.”
In addition to £10 million extra in funding as well, with the extension of the ban on evictions in all but the most extreme cases until at least 21st February also, for once, Robert Jenrick, the controversial communities secretary, has finally done something right.
Of the decision, Jenrick remarked:
“At the start of this pandemic we made sure that the most vulnerable in society were protected. This winter, we are continuing in this vein and redoubling our efforts to help those most in need.”
Rightly acknowledged as a step in the right direction, in response, Jon Sparkes, CEO of the homeless charity Crisis, called the move a “lifesaving intervention [at the] most dangerous moment of the pandemic for those without a home.”
In December, ‘The Steeple Times’ reported on Brompton Road, Knightsbridge, London SW3 – home to Harrods and the Brompton Oratory church amongst other things – becoming a homeless hub. That people are living in such conditions alongside such wealth during a pandemic brings shame upon us all, but most especially upon Boris Johnson’s rudderless government.
In June 2020, ‘Vice’ shared a video by the homeless filmmaker David Fussell with its 13.7 million followers. In it, Fussell gave “an insight into how the coronavirus epidemic has affected the homeless.”
‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers a couple of options for the rescheduled Welsh Grand National 2020 at Chepstow– as well as a 66/1 each way option with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 place possibilities at Kempton
Our racing followers did remarkably well at Lingfield yesterday with a 1st at 11/2 for Jumping Cats, a 2nd at 31/10 for El Kaldoun and a 1st at 17/4 for our late tip Rose of Aghaboe yesterday.
The Coral Welsh Grand National 2020 at Chepstow was due to take place on the 27th December 2020, but as the course was waterlogged, it is now taking place today, 9th January 2021 at 3.10pm. A Grade 3 National Hunt steeplechase over 3 miles 6½ furlongs on turf, this race was inaugurated in 1895 and features a total of 23 fences.
Whilst, like its somewhat chavvy English counterpart, there is a crowded field of 18 today and anything could happen, we suggest spreading your bets and select three options each way (with, for example, Ladbrokes ‘The Grid’ a payout will be made on places 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5):
3.10pm Chepstow – Welsh Grand National (18 runners)
In the Welsh Grand National 2020, David Pipe trained Vieux Lion Rouge at 22/1 (Radio 4)
Racing Post says: “Ran away with the Becher at Aintree five weeks ago; due to go up another 8lb; stays 3m4f.”
Also in the Welsh Grand National 2020, Bryony Frost – Paul Nicholls combo Yala Enki at 15/1
Racing Post says: “3rd off 5lb and 4lb lower marks in the last two Welsh Nationals; short-headed two runs ago.”
Also in the Welsh Grand National 2020, Colin Tizzard trained Christmas in April at 9/1 (Racing Post ’Spotlight NAP’)
Richard Austen says: “Made a satisfactory reappearance eight weeks ago and his smooth win in last season’s Devon National gives him plenty of appeal.”
Racing Post adds: “The vote goes to CHRISTMAS IN APRIL (nap) whose sparkling win over this trip on heavy in the Devon National is very persuasive evidence… February’s smooth win in the Devon National (3m6f, heavy) gives him plenty of appeal.”
Elsewhere today in other races, we’re looking at each way bets on:
12.50pm Chepstow (12 runners)
Clyne at 10/1 (Racing Post ‘Dark Horse’)
Joe Casey says: “Second in this race last year off a higher mark, this veteran will relish the testing conditions and can go well for a jockey in top form.”
Also in the same race, Bryony Frost – Paul Nicholls combo Storm Arising at 5/1 (The Sun, At The Races ‘Watch Out For’)
Racing Post says: “Good second last time and looks ahead of the handicapper.”
1.25pm Chepstow (8 runners)
Tom George trained Bannister at 35/1 from 33/1 earlier
Our man in the knowledge says: “At a big price Bannister catches the eye. He was also entered at Kempton today, but the trainer must prefer his chances at Chepstow.”
Racing Post adds: “20l winner in September and has run well in France since; toughest assignment to date.”
1.40pm Lingfield Park (9 runners)
Shelia at 31/10 from 7/2 earlier (Guardian, The Sun, Sporting Life ’NAP of the Day’)
Matt Brocklebank says: “A first crack at Lingfield’s mile and a half looks destined to suit SHEILA, Hugo Palmer’s Australia filly who was showing progressive form in 10-furlong all-weather handicaps late last year. She won well when sent off favourite at Chelmsford and has done precious little wrong in two starts since, only going down by the narrowest of margins at this course when last seen on November 21.”
“The assessor has only raised her 2lb for that agonising defeat and, given her pedigree, she should still be a few steps ahead of the game as she tackles this new trip, something she looks to have been crying out for. I’d expect her to pick up a handy early position behind likely leader Fraser Island before winding it up on the turn into the home straight.”
The Sun adds: “Went down in a head-bobber here last time out.”
Also in the same race, Tom Marquand – Michael Appleby combo Oslo at 19/4 (Telegraph, At The Races ’Top Tip’)
At The Races says: “OSLO followed up his 1m2f victory at Chelmsford with a respectable second over C&D on New Year’s Eve and is expected to mount another bold bid from this 1lb higher perch now lowering his sights.”
3.30pm Kempton Park (20 runners)
(Ladbrokes ‘The Grid’ paying out on places 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)
Racing Post says: “THE WHITE MOUSE has twice asserted in good style this season. Taking handicap wins at Wincanton (2m5f, good) and Cheltenham (2m4f, soft) this season.”
Also in the same race, Johnson – Hobbs combo Everglow at 8/1 from 15/2 earlier
Racing Post says: “This is a hot race for handicap debut but he is an unexposed novice with clear potential.”
Also a small bet (having had success in the past and in spite of recent failures) in the same race, Nicky Henderson trained The Cashel Man at 35/1 from 33/1 earlier
Racing Post less than enthusiastic: “Three heavy defeats before a bit better last time but the excuses are wearing a bit thin.”
Finally, a late extra tip comes in the form of Lilly Pinchin on Gerolomo Cardano at 66/1 from 125/1 earlier
Our man in the knowledge says: “I am intrigued that Gerolomo Cardano is running in this race, up in trip. He’s a massive price at 125/1 and I must admit I might be tempted to have a small wager.”
Racing Post adds: “Ran poorly last two runs last term; first cheekpieces; trip is interesting on best effort.”
Enjoy today’s Welsh Grand National and happy racing.
Pictured top: Christmas in April landed the Sussex National at Plumpton in 2020 and the Devon National at Exeter. Assistant trainer Joe Tizzard remarked of him in November: “He’s in lovely form at home and he loves these stamina tests… He could have a tilt at the Welsh National.”
At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead, celebrate #DryGinuary
“Dry January will be Wetter Than Ever!” screamed a WSJ Magazine headline on 30th December and today we join those echoing Iris Apfel and Robert Venturi in stating: “More is More and Less is a Bore.” We suggest our readers that so choose should ignore the hype of ‘Dry January’ and at a time when many are locked up and lonely, respond by suggesting that everybody just enjoys themselves and drinks whatever they bloody well wish (in moderation).
“I don’t associate guilt with pleasure,” artist and How to Survive the End of the World podcast hostess Autumn Brown told the article’s author Annie Werner and once again today we remind readers of the legendary French chef Alain Ducasse’s words this time last year:
“I like swimming against the tide. I’ve noted [the Dry January] trend, but I don’t want to see or hear of it, I am opposed to it. [I want to] rid consumers of their inhibitions [with regard to wine drinking].”
Going further and speaking of the dangers of signing up to a month without booze, consultant in liver medicine at the University Hospital Southampton NHS Foundation Trust Dr Mark Wright told Metro:
“Giving up alcohol for dry January as some sort of detox is like maxing out your credit cards all year and thinking you can solve your financial problems by living like a hermit for a month… It just isn’t going to make things better if you then go back to your usual habits in February. It’s not a fix-all solution.”
Faced with Boris Johnson’s lunacy lockdown in 2021 – where you can buy a leather collar for a dog in pet store (“essential” and open) but not a leather belt for a human in a clothes store (“non-essential” and closed) – we say that Brits that wish should follow the French and say ‘NON!’ to the patronising and pointless campaign that is ‘Dry January’ for once and for all.
Instead, today, we join all those celebrating #DryGinuary this month and raise a glass and an almighty cheers to y’all.
Three gins we recommend this #DryGinuary:
No. 3 London Dry Gin
The only gin in the world crafted by someone with a PhD in gin and owned by the world’s finest wine merchants, Berry Bros & Rudd.
This “authentic [44% ABV] coastal spirit” has notes of samphire and bog myrtle. Hints of salt shine through. It’s a catch and once reeled in, it’ll become a keeper.
Matthew Steeples condemns the government’s slapdash decision to lockup Britain (other than estate agents) once again as ludicrous
The government’s brutal decision to lockup the British population once again will bankrupt yet more businesses and wreck many more lives and for no good reason.
Here, in a country that will now allow takeaway food but has banned takeaway alcohol, previous lockup-lockdown’s have taken away our civil liberties but have not been proven to stop the spread of coronavirus. In response, what are this incompetent, inept rudderless government now doing? They’ve decided not to find another solution, but instead opted to just hit repeat.
Now, at a time of year when many deaths are actually being caused by pneumonia yet this year are being pinned with “caused by coronavirus” to suit the government’s all over the bloody place strategy-less-strategy, Boris Johnson has finally gone too far with his one-rule for one sector and one-rule for the rest.
Depression will soar in this dark lockup and businesses (other than estate agents) will go bust and before the end of it, where will we likely be? In a position no better than where we are now. Shame on ‘Bosie The Clown’ and shame on his puppet mistress ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ and her controlling cronies.
That the ‘Mirror’ focused on the non-story of a man changing his name to Celine Dion to start 2021 is beyond ridiculous
Evidence of the 1st January 2021 being a slow news day was provided by the Mirror’s decision to publish a non-story about a 30-year-old man who supposedly got drunk whilst watching Céline Dion on the telly box and changed his name to hers.
Thomas Dodd, a supposed “super fan” of the utterly irritating My Heart Will Go On crooner claimed the alcohol “must have given him [the] great idea” and told the paper’s Daniel Newbould and Luke Matthews:
“I am slightly obsessed with her, I’m not going to lie. During lockdown I’ve been watching a lot of live concerts on the TV. I can only think I’ve been watching one of hers and had a ‘great idea’ after a few drinks.”
According to the report, the man formerly known as Thomas Dodd spent £89 to make “the title become official, and even splashed out on eight extra certificates as proof of his new identity, adding he’s now able to see the funny side after dealing with the initial shock.”
He added:
“I walked in from work and there was a big white envelope with ‘do not bend’ written across it. I nearly passed out in my kitchen when I opened it.”
“My initial concern was how on earth do I tell the HR department at work that I need to change my email footer? Now I’m thinking it could be a great way to get backstage.”
“I’m just praying I don’t get pulled over by the police for anything – that could get awkward. More annoyingly I’ve paid for eight extra certificates to prove it and they are £10 each.”
“My mother didn’t see the funny side though. I did explain it could be worse and it could’ve been Boris Johnson – we’re just lucky he doesn’t have any live concerts. She’s laughing about it now.”
“I’ve not really thought too far ahead. I’m a little concerned that if I start telling people my name is Céline Dion I’ll get sectioned. However, it may come with its perks.”
“I’ll figure it out, I’m not rushing to change it back that’s for sure.”
“I tried singing Céline in the shower this morning and I can assure everyone I haven’t inherited her voice or bank balance. If this gets to Céline, someone best make sure I have a defibrillator next to me.”
When not belting out Falling Into You or Taking Chances, Céline Dion or Thomas Dodd (or whatever he decides to call himself next to get another outing in a red-topped rag) works as a hospitality manager in Clifton Campville, Staffordshire.
Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ were merciless in mocking the story about the name change from Thomas Dodd to Céline Dion. One remarked: “Last night he changed it again to light weight desperate attention seeker.”One added: “So drunk he typed in all his details correctly, entered his bank details correctly, had a witness counter sign correctly” and another remarked: “Coincidentally, Céline Dion had too much to drink after one of her Vegas shows and changed her name to Thomas Dodd. What are the odds?”
