Tag: Conservatives

Carrie NOT On Regardless – Is The PM’s Wife About To Be Thrown Under The Bus?

Is overindulged prig Carrie Johnson about to be thrown under the bus along with her Abba loving groupies Henry Newman and Josh Grimstone? Is this the end of the road for ‘Carrie On Regardless’?

It seems Carrie Johnson could be about to receive a dose of her own medicine and possibly a summons to speak to the Metropolitan Police even also.

“What Carrie wants, Carrie gets” is supposedly a mantra that the Prime Minister’s wife and those around her operate by and until now, the former Miss Symonds has got everything she desires. Be it £30,000 of organic nosh from Lady Bamford’s Daylesford Organic, £840 a roll wallpaper grubbily grabbed from Lulu Lytle’s frankly ghastly emporium and £2,900 a pop gowns by fashion designer Christos Costarello, here is an overindulged modern day Marie Antoinette whose extravagance knows no bounds.

Prone prior to moving to Downing Street to chucking red wine over sofas and dancing to Abba with her ‘Chatty Rat’ clatterfart chum Henry Newman – whom she has described as “one of my four favourite people” – the current Mrs Johnson was this morning dragged deeper into the mire that is ‘Partygate,’ the Mail on Sunday reported.

According to an unnamed source who spoke to the paper’s Glen Owen and Dan Hodges, on the night of Dominic Cummings’ departure on 13^th November 2020: “There was the sound of lots of banging and dancing and drinking, and a number of Abba tracks – including a triumphalist Winner Takes It All.”

Going further, the Mail on Sunday added: “The Metropolitan Police could now investigate the party as part of its probe, and call on Mrs Johnson to provide written evidence.”

“Civil servants in the building at the time were advised by officials to go to the Downing Street flat to apologise for not sufficiently supporting the Prime Minister’s then-fiancée. ‘They were ordered to go up and kiss the ring,’ one said.”

‘Carrie On Regardless’ – a woman whose past associations with individuals connected to the far-right Traditional Britain Group and a charity supported by the now convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell highlight her pathetically poor judgment – may now well come to find that her arrogant antics come back to haunt her. Soon, perhaps, Mrs Johnson might find that she’ll now have to ‘Not Carrie On Regardless’ and could perhaps go the same way as her self-serving husband’s other thrown-by-the-wayside sexual conquests.

Pictured top – Obsessed with nobody but himself Boris Johnson and his overindulged current wife, Carrie, deserve to be derided. Whilst ordinary people were unable to see their relatives even due to the lockdowns his government forced upon them, these two cretins partied on regardless.

The former Carrie Symonds previously worked for Oceana, a charity with strong links to the now convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell, in the past and has links to individuals connected to the far-right Traditional Britain Group. Her shockingly poor judgment is clearly worthy of question.

The Prime Minister’s wife counts alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ and Abba fanatic Henry Newman as her “best friend,” according to Dominic Cummings. When the possibility of having to fire him over leaks arose, Boris Johnson reportedly said: “If Newman is confirmed as the leaker then I will have to fire him, and this will cause me very serious problems with Carrie as they’re best friends… [pause] perhaps we could get the Cabinet Secretary to stop the leak inquiry?”

‘Princess Nut Nut’ – as she has also been deservedly branded – invited only a few guests to her wedding to Boris Johnson. Amongst them was “Tory hunk” Josh Grimstone. The ‘Court of Carrie’ is all about control and this 28-year-old “top-notch aide” was rewarded rather nicely in spite of being someone known best for just taking his top off. Grimstone is on a pay packet of between £80,000 and £84,999, according to Cabinet Office records.

Boris Johnson protests too much about whether he partied or not. That he has now tried to have Dame Cressida Dick and the Metropolitan Police try and slow down the process of the investigation into ‘Partygate’ speaks volumes about his clear lack of a moral compass. That his current wife is now being dragged into this is evidence that he’d literally throw anyone under the bus to save his own sorry skin.

January 30, 2022
The Return of the Yellow Card 2021

Nikolay Kalinin analyses the reasons behind the Liberal Democrats’ success in the 2021 Chesham and Amersham by-election; is Boris Johnson about to suffer further at the hands of the ‘yellow peril’?

A month after the Conservatives obliterated Labour in Hartlepool, the Liberal Democrats have struck back by winning Chesham and Amersham, a Conservative stronghold since its creation in 1974.

The Liberal Democrat candidate Sarah Green won 56.7% of the vote, compared to the Conservatives 35.5% of the vote; this is not surprising, considering the fact that 55% of the constituency’s voters supported remaining in the EU in 2016, which reflects the region’s more liberal, middle-class electorate.

Although Brexit was still a prevalent issue during the campaign, the HS2 was a more major concern in the lead-up to the election, as many individuals within the constituency were concerned that the government’s plans to remove the locals’ rights to decide on developments would lead to the railway system being built in the Chilterns. Home County areas like Chesham and Amersham were the place where Reform UK was able to make gains back in 2019 due to their promise to scrap the HS2, and it’s clear that the Lib Dems capitalised on that ‘NIMBY’ attitude.

The demographics have also been influential in determining the outcome, since many within the area are young, middle-class liberal voters who have moved out of London and who were more likely to vote Remain in 2016.

Not only is this the greatest thing to happen to Lib Dems in a long time, but also the victory has shown that the “blue wall” in Southern England is not unbreakable, a fact that was teased back in May when the party lost several councillors in strongholds such as Tunbridge Wells, Surrey and Chipping Norton, and also when they lost the Oxfordshire council.

The Lib Dems ability to appeal to the locals’ concerns regarding HS2 should show Labour MPs the importance of appealing to the needs of the people in their constituency; at the same time, it also should be of serious concern to Boris Johnson, because even though he can bring down the red wall, the opposition parties can do the same.

Much of this is because according to Ed Davey, the people in traditionally-Conservative constituencies “feel they’re being ignored by the Conservatives, taken for granted.” One southern Conservative MP further elaborated by stating: “There’s an element that our party is trying too hard to be Brexiteers”.

The defeat of the Conservatives in the by-election should be taken seriously by the public and by the politicians, because this could be a foreshadowing to further defeats of Conservatives in the south of England – especially the Home Counties – as the party tries to appeal to more Northern working-class voters, which will definitely alienate the more traditional base of the Conservative party in the South who are more liberal.

Sir Ed Davey celebrated his party’s win in Chesham and Amersham – where his party’s candidate Sarah Green got 21,517 votes (56.7% vote share) as opposed to the Conservative Party’s Peter Fleet’s 13,489 (35.5% vote share) – by hammering at a wall of blue bricks in the style of Timmy Mallett. Overturning a 16,000 Conservative majority with 8,028 more votes than her rival, Green increased her party’s percentage share by 30.4%.

In the by-election, Labour came off even worse than the Tories with just 622 votes and of her win Sarah Green remarked: “Tonight the voice of Chesham and Amersham is unmistakable. Together we have said, ‘enough is enough, we will be heard and this government will listen.’” The by-election was caused by the death in April of former Welsh Secretary Dame Cheryl Gillan. In 2019, she retained the seat with more than half of the vote. But the Conservative majority has been steadily decreasing since the 2015 General Election, when it was 23,920, with UKIP coming second.

June 20, 2021
Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess

Nikolay Kalinin suggests that in spite of their crusade against Tory sleaze, Labour’s Sir Keir Starmer is failing to make any inroads and finds himself in a multifaceted mess

A week ago, Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer attempted to present himself as the superhero British politics needs in order to rid the country of Tory sleaze. He proffered that his scrutiny at Prime Minister’s Questions and photo-ops at John Lewis illustrated that Labour will annihilate the Tories in tomorrow’s elections simply because the governing party are just ‘no good.’

Yet, the truth for Sir Keir is actually far bleaker and a multifaceted mess, as ever since February the gap between the Conservatives and Labour in the polls has been increasing in the governing party’s favour and this has mostly been due to the UK government’s incredibly successful vaccination programme.

Even after the ‘Wallpapergate’ scandal, it seems like nothing much has changed, as a YouGov poll has projected that on 6^th May, Labour is most likely to lose 59 seats in ‘Red Wall’ local councils, whereas the Conservatives are set to gain 90. Furthermore, 38% of people in ‘Red Wall’ council areas have stated that Boris Johnson would “make the best Prime Minister,” compared to just 30% for Starmer.

The by-election in the Hartlepool constituency meanwhile – which has been described as the first litmus test of Sir Keir Starmer’s Labour leadership – has also left many expecting Labour will lose their hold over the area. A poll conducted by Good Morning Britain concluded that 50% of the people interviewed in the area would vote for Conservative candidate Jill Mortimer, compared to the 33% that would vote for Labour candidate Paul Williams.

In even worse news for Labour, another GMB poll concluded that most people in Hartlepool had favourable feelings towards Conservatives (46%), compared to Labour’s 31%. Furthermore, 45% of people expressed negative feelings towards Labour, compared to 31% who expressed negativity towards Conservatives. It seems therefore like Labour is on the path to losing the seat, which has been controlled by them since its establishment in 1974.

Still, there has also been evidence in the last few days that suggests otherwise; a recent UK voting intention poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies has seen the Conservatives’ lead being slashed by 4%, whereas Labour has gained 4% in the polls, meaning that the gap between both is now a mere 2%.

As expected, Labour London Mayor Sadiq Khan is expected to retain his position as he maintains a fairly stable lead in the polls, with predictions that he’ll get 61% in the first round whereas his hapless Conservative rival Shaun Bailey will achieve a mere 39%.

There’s a dangerously high chance that the Conservatives will be able to use the vaccination success in order to win over the voters in councils and in Hartlepool, who will ignore the fact that their PM has used donated money for his own expenses and didn’t even disclose it.

Why has Sir Keir Starmer, in general, failed to deliver a fatal blow to the Tories in the lead-up to the elections? It’s most likely due to lack of a uniting ideology, but more importantly due to the lack of opposition; because of the government’s role in fighting against COVID-19, it’s possible that the role of Labour as an opposition party has been substantially reduced, as they are actually unable to scrutinise the Tories like they would normally have had had there been no pandemic. In some way, Sir Keir seems to be lacking the appeal that Jeremy Corbyn had as Labour leader, which allowed the party to receive an influx of members after decades of falling membership.

So far, the sleaze scandals have not hurt the Conservatives at all – as a matter of fact support for them has been increasing – and even more surprisingly the Labour Party that has been leading the campaign against sleaze is getting pummeled in the polls. It truly is concerning that a party that has such a large lack of connection with people is leading in the polls, because this should not happen in a country that is supposedly a representative democracy. We’ll just have to wait and see, but a very important first signal will emerge with the results tomorrow.

Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess – Sir Keir Starmer certainly did not help himself when he found himself kicked out of a pub in Bristol in April. His minder’s bullyboy conduct reflected very badly upon him and the fact that his aides had not checked the venue out first shows a shocking lack of coordination on the Labour Party’s part.

Starmer’s Multifaceted Mess – Sir Keir Starmer believes: “Another future is possible,” but thus far he has failed to convince he is the man who could deliver such in post-coronavirus pandemic Britain.

May 5, 2021
Who REALLY is Henry Newman?

Whilst only a few newspapers have delved into his political past, we today ask: “Who REALLY is the bestie of Carrie Symonds and alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ Henry Newman?”

In 2019, ‘Carrie Symonds’ bestie’ and supposed clatterfart Henry Newman described Dominic Cummings as “one of only a few political advisers who understands the importance of, and is truly committed to, reforming the Whitehall machine.” In April 2020, Cummings responded by branding Newman a leaker.

Now, as the media delve into the scandal of Boris Johnson’s hole riddled ship and he seeks to dissipate the disgrace of his decorating debacle, with Cummings’ intervention on Friday, elements of the media have begun to examine exactly who Henry Newman is.

Whilst widely referenced for dancing to ABBA with his longstanding chum Symonds and for being the go-to mouthpiece in support of Brexit during Theresa May’s “Brexit means Brexit” era, Newman should also go down in history for banging on about a need for fortnightly bin collections in Hampstead and Kilburn and for his somewhat bizarre Facebook ramblings.

On his wall on the social media site, former special adviser (SPAD) to Francis Maude and Michael Gove, Newman – a graduate of ritzy institutions including the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics – has shared posts about being drunk. He has remarked that he was once “discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie” and bragged that he even listened “to the Stones as the economy [collapsed].”

Tellingly also, this one-time “rising star” and “Goveite” also declared he was “drowning in honey, stingless” and, most appropriately, providing illustration of why Daylesford addict ‘Costly Carrie’ counts him as “one of her four favourite people,” once announced: “[I’m] opening an organic box.”

‘Henry The Bin Boy’ Newman’s words of wisdom on Facebook…

“Is drunk.”

“Is opening an organic box.”

“Is discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie.”

“Is drowning in honey, stingless.”

“Once you kill a cow you gotta make a burger.”

“Wondering if he is really a top concern for US immigration.”

“Waiting for Jacqui Smith to resign.”

“Is dancing, dancing, dancing… Is listening to rumba in W. Hartford… Is dancing in the dark… Is missing dancing.”

“Is listening to the Stones while the economy collapses.”

“Is watching his tan fall off.”

“Hates people who don’t know how to use a rowing machine.”

“Is thinking what this country needs is a new taskforce.”

Who is Henry Newman? Facebook posts by him give a clue to his personality.

Descriptions of Henry Newman by…

Boris Johnson:

“One of my three musketeers.”

Carrie Symonds:

“One of my four favourite people.”

Toby Young:

“He is new role model… If you were a [politics show] booker who had to find someone… Newman was the only name on your Rolodex.”

“As the oxygen went out of Theresa May’s premiership, and her withdrawal agreement began to breathe its last, the great balloon of his career became more and more inflated.”

Dominic Cummings:

“All the evidence [regarding the second lockdown leak] definitely leads to Henry Newman… I’m just trying to get the communications data to prove it.”

An unnamed “senior government source”:

“The allegations against Henry Newman are entirely false. He wouldn’t be working in Downing Street if he was suspected of leaking information.”

Follow Henry Newman on his now somewhat secretive social media (if he lets you) at @henryjohnnewman on Facebook, @henryjohnnewman on Instagram and @HenryNewman on Twitter.

Who is Henry Newman? A fan of wearing beanie hats that declare: “Let’s get Brexit done,” here is a young man who taught politics at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS), after studying at the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics. He reportedly then “cut his teeth” working in the Cabinet Office during the coalition government years and then joined Michael Gove’s entourage in the Ministry of Justice after he was appointed as the Lord Chancellor in 2015.

Who is Henry Newman? Aside from having travelled to Russia in his youth, Newman joined the Vote Leave campaign during the 2016 referendum campaign and, according to ‘The Telegraph’ “was among a close circle of Mr Gove’s friends who were said to have helped to convince him to ‘knife’ Mr Johnson and torpedo his bid for the Tory leadership by deciding to run himself.” Later, a director of the pro-Brexit Open Europe think-tank, Newman was then rewarded for being “loyal” to Carrie Symonds when Boris Johnson came to power.

Who is Henry Newman? Let’s not forget that this young man’s best friend Carrie Symonds was previously dating a man, Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), exposed by the BBC in October 2016 for a Russian fake news scandal and for his friendship with Henry Hopwood-Phillips, an individual involved in the far-right, racist Traditional Britain Group. Miss Symonds must be noted also for her having been employed by Oceana, an oceanic charity that Ghislaine Maxwell – the now incarcerated alleged mucky madam to Jeffrey Epstein – was also a tin banger for.

https://twitter.com/JoshBerryComedy/status/1386235119002955776

April 25, 2021
Picture of the Week – Cesspit Street

Protestors brandishing envelopes of ‘taxpayers’ money’ sum up the state of Boris Johnson’s rotten government as ex-minister Johnny Mercer quite rightly brands it a “cesspit”

If you’re the pro-Brexit billionaire Sir James Dyson or the diplomat killer Mohammed bin Salman, you get the right to have the British Prime Minister on ‘speed-text.’ If you’re an ordinary taxpaying citizen, you get sweet Fanny Adams.

Summing up the present government’s attitude to the public and taxpayers’ money, our picture of the week – shared by the @WinstonCProject on Twitter – shows a protest outside the entrance to Downing Street by individuals sporting masks of amongst others Boris Johnson, Rishi Sunak and David Cameron.

Featuring also envelopes stuffed with £50 notes emblazoned with ‘Taxpayers’ Money’ in red, the message attached also reads: “To Tory chums, Dodgy contracts, Jobs for mates… If found please return to The Conservative Party.”

Elsewhere yesterday, after resigning from Johnson’s rotten government, Johnny Mercer remarked:

“I think it’s pretty clear that not everyone tells the truth up here do they. I mean, I told people, I was resigning as a courtesy to government. You know, three hours later, it’s in the press. And, of course, they all denied they ever leaked it.”

“This is the most distrustful, awful environment I’ve ever worked in, in government. Almost nobody tells the truth is what I’ve worked out over the last 36 hours.”

“And, you know, I don’t think anyone really can get on their high horse about trust and ethics and all the rest of it in politics, because as far as I’m concerned, most of it is a bit of a cesspit.”

#JohnsonOut

Cesspit Street – This morning, the ‘Guardian’ shared this cartoon by Nicola Jennings that accurately sums up the relationship between Sir James Dyson and Boris Johnson.

Cesspit Street – On Monday, it was revealed that leaked emails showed that the Conservative Party WAS fully aware that £58,000 in donations was to be used to refit the Downing Street flat occupied by serial shagger Boris Johnson and his wine chucking latest baby mama, ‘Costly Carrie’ Symonds.

https://twitter.com/EmmaKennedy/status/1385116534805303296

April 22, 2021
A French Farce
Matthew Steeples slams the likely coverup of the latest Conservative Party sex scandal involving a still unnamed MP as a “French farce” and suggests that the Tories really shouldn’t sweep this matter under the carpet

One would have thought the Conservative Party would have come to its senses after the “French farce” debacle with the currently in the clink abuser ‘Naughty Tory’ ex-MP Charlie Elphicke and his tawdry replacement MP wife, Natalie.

Aside from both Theresa May and Boris Johnson having protected accused and, in some cases, convicted sex pest Members of Parliament in recent years, this morning the Mirror hinted at a coverup over the sidelining of an investigation into a “campaign of control and sexual abuse” of a woman by a “monster Tory MP” – a man said to be a former minister in his 50s.

In the report into this “French farce” of an investigation – which does not name any of the parties involved – the Mirror exclusively shared that the “top lawyer” Nigel Edwards QC has now taken on the woman’s case on a pro bono basis and reported allegations that:
- The woman, a lady in her 20s, was supposedly subjected to sexual assaults in July 2019 and October 2019 by the Conservative MP.
- The alleged victim claims to have been raped by the MP in January 2020.
- The same man is said to have “told her what to wear and screamed if she wasn’t smiling” during a period in which she worked for him.
- The woman’s mother told the paper that her daughter was “in shock and sobbing” after incidents and “has since been diagnosed with PTSD and is on medication.”
- The same man is said to have threatened the woman on a night out, shouted at her in the street “with raised fists, screaming in her face, and swearing at her.” On that occasion, the then reportedly “tried to push her into a taxi.”
- The MP subsequently “demanded” his victim then “come to his office and begged forgiveness” and that is “when one of the sexual assaults happened” allegedly.
- The MP then allegedly “told her he’d come after her and destroy her life if she told anyone what happened. If she didn’t do as he said, he boasted that he’d wreck her career.”
- 14 people with supporting evidence were not questioned by the police.
- Relevant documents from Women’s Aid, Rape Crisis and The Havens were not collected by the police.
- Key evidence including text messages and phone records were ignored by the police.
- Officers dismissed her claims because she was in a relationship with the MP and then “victim blamed” her.
Now, in spite of the police having decided not to proceed with any investigation into the allegations of rape, sexual assault and coercive control, Edwards told the paper:

“We are giving advice as to her options. There could be a civil claim for the damage done. A private prosecution could be considered if all other options have been exhausted.”

“All options will be explored and remain open so justice can be done and ensure any dereliction of duty or abuse of power is not unchallenged.”

Aside from doing nothing to stop Natalie Elphicke inappropriately pestering the judiciary on behalf of her convicted sex offender husband with the help of other MPs even after he’d been jailed, the fact that the Tories continue to sweep the matter of sexual abuse in their party brings nothing but shame on the entire lot of them yet again.

Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

A French Farce – This morning’s revelations in the ‘Mirror’ show that the Conservative Party have learnt nothing from the scandal of ‘Naughty Tory’ arse slapper Charlie Elphicke.

A French Farce – In October 2017, the ‘Evening Standard’ revealed that a dossier of 36 Conservative MPs accused of “inappropriate behavior towards colleagues, including allegations of sexual misconduct” had been put together by the party. Ludicrously, little-to-nothing was subsequently done about these supposedly “highly inappropriately” behaved abusers and their twisted antics. Now, once again, that the party are sweeping allegations under the carpet is an outrage.

A French Farce – There is nothing new about Tory MPs and sex scandals. In 1986, “kinky” Harvey Proctor MP – a man linked to Jeffrey Epstein’s mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell via his then employer – was found guilty of gross indecency with teenagers.

A French Farce – The comedian Andrew Lawrence mocked the “French farce” that is the Conservative Party’s attitudes to sexual misconduct to his 26,000 subscribers on YouTube in August 2020, but it must be remembered that the victims of creepy ‘sex pest’ MPs have been subjected to criminal sexual abuse. For that, such offenders should be brought to justice – whoever they may be.
January 17, 2021
Arcuri Attacks App

Boris Johnson’s alleged ex-mistress Jennifer Arcuri slams NHS coronavirus tracking app and suggests: “There is no way I would download that!” … but she is set to go on Channel 4’s ‘Hunted’

Just when Boris Johnson believed the Dominic Cummings travel scandal had (quite literally) been put to bed the press talking about his own nocturnal antics with his American “technology teacher,” the meddling minx Jennifer Arcuri has started to get her own back.

In a very short ‘exclusive’ interview buried deep in the Mirror, Arcuri – whom promotes herself on social media as someone “with more brains and drive than two or three British politicians put together” – told the paper:

“There is no way I would download [the NHS coronavirus tracking app] app. The government can say they’re doing the best to keep it secure, there’s just no guarantee it’s 100 per cent secure or the data is going to be kept secure, encrypted and used only for this. I don’t think people should give away their freedoms.”

“Anything like your personal health data in a government database being used in some obscure app just raises all kind of flags for me. It became very apparent that the NHS was ill-equipped for a cyber attack. I don’t think tracking Covid-19 is an effective way of using tech money or trying to cure one’s health. I do not believe it is an acceptable use of government time, energy or money.”

Elsewhere, on her Twitter account, Arcuri recently retweeted a December 2019 feature about herself by Techcrunch editor-at-large Mike Butcher for the New Statesman. In it, the author referenced how the far-right “Trumpsexual” paedophile apologist Milo Yiannopoulos used to attend the Hacker House co-founder’s parties [Note: We’re not sure why anyone would be proud of having that lunatic on their premises] and beneath that she retweeted a post by The Sunday People. It linked to a feature announcing she’ll supposedly be “starring” in a “special celebrity version of hit Channel 4 show Hunted.”

With his alleged lover no doubt set to be plied with booze on a tacky reality television show, ‘Bosie The Clown’ must be delighted; it’s time for ‘Deviant Dom’ to “Fire Up the Quattro” and head off on another road trip. This time though, Dom, just don’t go via Barnard Castle.

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Boobs out – Jennifer Arcuri pictured out campaigning with Boris Johnson.

How twee – Boris Johnson snapped having a cup of tea with Boris Johnson.

She’s having a laugh – Jennifer Arcuri’s Twitter account handle. She describes herself as: an “entrepreneur” and “fearless” and claims to have “more brains and drive than two or three British politicians put together.” She directs the media to contact her at [email protected]

May 31, 2020
Distraction Dom

Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away

Aside from consoling himself with the weak warblings of morose ministers who’ve been drafted out to lackadaisically laud him, most would suggest Dominic Cummings is the loneliest man in politics this Sunday. Instead, in reality – though no one’s got around to publicly saying it (yet) – this modern day Mandelson could still prove to be Boris Johnson’s most useful asset.

Hidden away somewhere deep in Downing Street in his beanie hat, this lookalike of Compo from Last of the Summer Wine crossed with Michael Kelly as Doug Stamper in the House of Cards has achieved one very important thing this weekend: Cummings has made the tawdriest elements of the Jennifer Arcuri story disappear from Sunday’s front pages.

Whilst Cummings’ wife, Mary Wakefield, certainly didn’t help the initial narrative with her clearly confused and contradictory account of how the pair had lived during their time with coronavirus in The Spectator, she certainly set in place curiosity as to where and in the company of whom the PM’s closest henchman had been sleeping. Then, when this Oxford graduate went “off on one” with his arrogant utterings as he clambered into his Land Rover Discovery yesterday, Cummings actually pulled a blinder.

Subsequent revelations as to whether the senior adviser to the Prime Minister attempted a rendition of Theresa May’s “wandering in the wheat fields” and boogied in the bluebells are surprisingly neither here nor there. Aside from quite rightly exciting anger from the public due to his hypocrisy, Cummings, in true Machiavellian fashion, has instead just shifted the news agenda away from BoJo’s very own bedroom behaviour.

In a clear example of the ‘distraction technique’ coming into play, Cummings’ travails have made everyone forget the sordid sexual relations ‘Bonking Boris’ had with the American founder of Hacker House. According to a most reliable source close to Downing Sttreet, Arcuri – a woman whom believes she has “been thrown under a bus” by her former lover – was about to give a “kiss-and-tell,” but has now retreated to her bunker. For now, ‘Bungling Boris’ can stay home and stay safe; the blabbering bird has (for now) been belted-up.

Pictured top: The finest examples of modern day distraction technique spinners in politics (both in reality and in fiction) have to be Dominic Cummings and Doug Stamper.

(Not So) Sexy Time with Jen and Dom – Jennifer Arcuri’s alleged attempt to kiss-and-tell about her indoor activities with Boris Johnson were supposedly put on hold this weekend due to the outdoor antics of Dominic Cummings dominating the news.

Elsewhere on social media and taking a break from sharing his enjoyment of Vimto and dislike of Jeremy Clarkson, the “laureate for our fractured times” turned Pan Macmillan published novelist Brian Bilston shared a poem he’d prepared about Mr Cummings. It follows.

Dominic Cummings: The Lockdown Tour

By Brian Bilston

He’s been locking down in London,

And a bit in Durham, too.

Not to mention Barnard Castle,

Legoland and Bristol Zoo.

He’s been locking down in Stoke-on-Trent

And Weston-super-Mare.

He’s spread himself quite thin of late.

He’s been spreading everywhere.

He’s been locking down in Basildon,

In Derby, Penge and Frome.

Wherever he lays his beanie hat,

That’s his lockdown home.

He’s more spreadable than margarine.

He’s been spreading far and wide.

He’ll be locking down in your town soon:

Spread the word and stay inside.

To support a Change.org petition calling for Dominic Cummings to either “resign or be sacked,” click here.

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Tweedle Deviant and Tweedle Deviant – Is Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s brotherhood of bumbling balls-ups about to be brought to an end? The public are most definitely braying for blood.

May 24, 2020
Wally of the Week – Shaun Bailey

Mayor of London candidate Shaun Bailey’s policy of giving out burglar alarm to 300,000 homes is utterly ludicrous

Burglar and car alarms are certainly amongst the most pointless inventions in history. Generally ignored, they annoy those in their vicinity and never seem to work when they’re actually required.

Now, first reported in the blog From The Hornets Nest, “man of gimmicks” Shaun Bailey – the Conservative candidate for Mayor of London – has decided to “give” burglar alarms to every Londoner aged over 65.

In a video shared on Twitter, Bailey announced his policy but did not cite any evidence as to why it would actually be effective. He remarked:

“What I am suggesting I will do is to give free burglar alarms to people aged over 65. They are the most vulnerable people in our communities and they need this protection and there’s the other end of this conversation as well. It makes burglary harder and what that does is reduce the amount of people who become career burglars.”

Patronisingly, this foolish man with pockets plainly as large as China then added:

“Of course if you really have one or you feel that you can buy your own one, please do go ahead. But you are talking about 200,000 to 300,000 Londoners who really need that support.”

As From The Hornets Nest rightly points out, “the millions he proposes to spend [would be] better deployed on replacing ‘on the streets’ police removed whilst he was ‘advising’ [David] Cameron on crime.”

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March 1, 2020
Stupid People

The behaviour of Jeremy Corbyn yesterday is indicative of a new low in the conduct of British politicians suggests Matthew Steeples

Yesterday in the House of Commons, yah-boo politics reared its ugly head when Jeremy Corbyn allegedly called Theresa May “a stupid woman.”

In spite of Corbyn now claiming he simply referenced “stupid people,” this storm-in-a-teacup is indicative of the low level British politics have reached. As we face an impasse on May’s completely fudged handling of the disaster that is Brexit, do we need to have to witness this kind of behaviour by a man meant to be the leader of Her Majesty’s Official Opposition?

Elsewhere, Amber Rudd was sent on Sky News this morning to proclaim “the public don’t want another election and Brenda from Bristol especially doesn’t.” What does she want instead? She was not at all clear and later, on Adam Boulton’s All Out Politics, Lord Lamont suggested we’re headed for a second referendum or a “managed no deal.” The man who sang in the bathtub as the pound crashed on Black Wednesday in 1992 made out “all will likely be fine,” but the public rightly see something else: An almighty bloody mess.

It is time for a change: We need a plan and we need solutions. We do not need yet more excuses.

#BringHerDown #MakeDecemberTheEndOfMay

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December 20, 2018