The Steeple Times

Tag: Brexit

  • When Shall We Three Meet Again?

    When Shall We Three Meet Again?

    As Theresa May hangs on in spite of revolts and defeats, Matthew Steeples asks: ‘How much longer can this kitten heeled harbinger of disaster hang on?’

     

    When shall we three meet again

    In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

    Macbeth (I, i, 1-2)

     

    For Theresa May, like buses, defeats come in threes. In spite of wheeling out Andrea ‘Loathsome’ Leadsom – dressed yet again in her pink dominatrix studded leather jacket – to claim that the lousy non-deal the government had negotiated could still proceed, it has now become utterly clear that most MPs and more importantly the public have had enough.

     

    When Shall We Three Meet Again? Theresa May must go now – As Theresa May hangs on in spite of yesterday’s defeats, we ask: ‘How much longer can this kitten heeled harbinger of disaster hang on?’
    Andrea Leadsom’s bizarre outfit choice was yet again inspired by both Barbie and Katie Price, whilst Geoffrey Cox simply failed in his quest for divine intervention

     

    Staggering on is all very well, but as Isobel Oakeshott pointed out on the BBC’s Politics Live this morning, Theresa May lost control many months ago. In fact, the minute this delusional woman called a General Election that was neither wanted or required, her cards became marked and her path to failure was confirmed.

     

    Failing to respect the sovereignty of Parliament, however, was truly a stupid move and now, even in the highly, highly unlikely event that she wins on 11th December, Theresa May’s own party is obliged to ditch her. This hectoring vicar’s daughter yesterday failed as a Prime Minister as, in just a couple of hours, thrice she failed in the job’s key role – that of commanding a majority. Now, as the vultures, circle I again suggest it is time for a change of tack: Mrs May must go and she must go now.

     

    #BringHerDown #MakeDecemberTheEndOfMay

     

    Outside contenders to replace May

     

    Ruth Davidson

    When Shall We Three Meet Again? Theresa May must go now – As Theresa May hangs on in spite of yesterday’s defeats, we ask: ‘How much longer can this kitten heeled harbinger of disaster hang on?’In spite of the fact that she would need to become an MP in order to govern effectively, Ruth Davidson is extremely popular within the party. She speaks a lot of sense and reflects the modern age well.

     

    Johnny Mercer MP

    When Shall We Three Meet Again? Theresa May must go now – As Theresa May hangs on in spite of yesterday’s defeats, we ask: ‘How much longer can this kitten heeled harbinger of disaster hang on?’Sensible and pragmatic, Johnny Mercer could be the Conservatives’ Justin Trudeau. A former army officer and pin-up, here is a man who is a breath of fresh air.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

     

  • The Berk Bercow

    The Berk Bercow

    Speaker Bercow brings shame on himself and Britain through his mendacious ways (yet again) suggests Matthew Steeples

     

    John Bercow could be criticised for marrying a rough bird named Sally (who then had an affair with his very own cousin and flirted outrageously on television with the somewhat strange gypsy Paddy Doherty) but now he’s finally gone too far.

     

    Though Bercow is a Remain supporter and displays a ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ sticker in his somewhat decrepit Land Rover Freelander (something readers would think would make him endear to me), I now call out this dwarf-like rat as the disgrace that he truly is.

     

    In a story in today’s Daily Mail, it is revealed that Speaker Bercow claimed £17,103 in travel expenses in the period between January and September 2018 (on top of all that this deservedly much loathed individual has nabbed in the past).

     

    That a Speaker of the House of Commons even needs to travel beyond the chamber is perplexing but that he even claimed £1,368 to take three people to a funeral of a friend just takes the biscuit. This cretinous creep should be now given a one way ticket. To where I hear you ask? Siberia.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

    The Berk Bercow – John Bercow disgraces himself yet again – Speaker Bercow brings shame on himself and Britain through his mendacious ways (yet again) suggests Matthew Steeples The Berk Bercow – John Bercow disgraces himself yet again – Speaker Bercow brings shame on himself and Britain through his mendacious ways (yet again) suggests Matthew Steeples

  • Marvelous Melvyn

    Marvelous Melvyn

    Veteran political heavyweight Melvyn Bragg lays into Brexit, David Cameron, Jeremy Corbyn and Sir James Dyson

     

    In an interview in The House magazine, Lord Bragg spoke complete sense in condemning the madness of the current British political scene.

     

    Remarks included:

     

    “I’m looking forward to getting hold of [David Cameron’s] book, I can tell you. Self-serving, and now this swaggering on – ‘I’m very bored, I’d like another job now. Bit bored, so I’d like to be Foreign Secretary’. He ran away. He ran a lousy campaign and then he ran away – he said he’d stay but ran away, he resigned from the Commons – we’ve never heard a pip or a squeak from him. He didn’t go on the Remain march, he didn’t do anything. Cameron could have saved his name by leading the Remain minority. Who the f*** does he think he is?”

     

    “Now, Cameron, with his usual bloody stupidity, should have said ‘it’s got to be at least a 55%’ and so on. But he didn’t think that through because he doesn’t think things through. He is a smarmy PR man.”

     

    “These bunch of squirearchal, hedge funding, over-privileged people who think [Brexit is] going to be okay – it’s going to be okay for them. They’re not going to suffer – not a bit of it. They don’t offer any evidence now. It’s ceased to be a programme or a process, it’s a cult. It’s a bit like the Moonies. They just believe it because they believe because they believe it. Because they are who they are, they think them believing it is significant. No, it isn’t.”

     

    “Their so-called figureheads like [Sir James] Dyson runs away, buggers off – traitorous you could say, in some ways. ‘I’m a big Brexit man’ – as soon as he sees an opportunity, he goes to Singapore. Puts two billion in there when he could have done it here. Isn’t he rich enough? He’s the biggest landowner in the country. How greedy can somebody get?… Horrible… Everything is wrong about it. It speaks to what is wrong about our country. It also has unleashed feelings that are very unpleasant. We were getting on pretty well.”

     

    “I would like for Jeremy Corbyn to go flat out for another referendum and back it and say Remain because that is going to be the way to keep this country prosperous, to keep it tolerant by accepting people who come from other countries instead of setting up a system that repudiates people from other countries. I’d say come off the fence, back Remain and get on with it. His dallying is doing the Labour party no good. They should be streaking away, they should be streaking away. So, that’s disappointing.”

     

    “I was canvassing in Carlisle for the Labour party – you couldn’t believe it really – they were worried about immigration. Nearly ninety per cent of the people in Carlisle had been born in and around Carlisle… but ‘oh, this terrible threat of immigration!’ Why didn’t the Labour party tell people that. Why isn’t the Labour party behind the truth?”

     

    “Forty-eight per cent is not a minority. This country has been built on minorities. The slave trade was abolished because of the minority pegging away. The suffragettes, the trade unions… universal education came in… again and again and again. Minorities turn into majorities quite quickly, especially when they’re right. I won’t go as far as Oscar Wilde, who said that minorities are always right. They’re not always right – but they were in this case.”

     

    All at The Steeple Times today salute Melvyn. His analysis was utterly (sadly) brilliant.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

  • Tweet of the Week – Lewis Goodall

    Tweet of the Week – Lewis Goodall

    Sky News’ Lewis Goodall provides not one but two of the best tweets of the week

     

    Sky News political correspondent Lewis Goodall – famous for going round during Theresa May’s disastrous General Election in a truck named the #LewisLorry – is a gent one can rely upon.

     

    In two tweets this week, he excelled himself. They read:

     

    “Quick note on latest Boris Johnson Brexit piece. The United Kingdom is not an “ancient” nation. The UK (rather than Great Britain) as a political entity has existed since 1801. It’s about as ancient as the electric battery.”

     

    “I love the British public. Second putting you in your place selfie story in a fortnight. Man in WHSmith: ‘can I have a photo with you?” Me: ‘of course, my pleasure.’ Man: ‘thank you so much. You just keep doing what you’re doing. One day – you’ll actually make it big.’”

     

    Absolute crackers. Brilliant.

     

    Follow Lewis at @lewis_goodall

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

    Tweet of the Week – Lewis Goodall – Sky News’ Lewis Goodall provides not one but two of the best tweets of the week.

  • A Romantic Takeaway

    A Romantic Takeaway

    Mail Online focuses on the story of the year – that Spencer Matthews and his wife went on “date night” at the British Takeaway Awards; you couldn’t make it up

     

    You can rely on the Mail Online to publish relevant stories. Aside from the fact we’re in the midst of Brexit chaos and California is burning, they decided to publish what could perhaps be called: “The story of the year.”

     

    In an article charmingly titled: “Vogue Williams nestles into husband Spencer Matthews as they steal a night away from parenting duties to lead the stars at the British Takeaway Awards” by a woman named Katie Storey, the paper shared details of how the reality television “stars” managed to “enjoy a date night” at the Just Eat British Takeaway Awards.”

     

    That this duo – a pair definitely likely to attend the opening of an envelope – would “date night” at an event is bad enough, but that it made news is quite preposterous. What did they do whilst there? Ring out for a pizza? How terribly romantic.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

  • Calling for a Coup

    Calling for a Coup

    Matthew Steeples suggests the mess that is currently Britain needs a wake-up call and it needs a coup

     

    It’s all David Cameron’s fault: There was no need for him to call a referendum on leaving the EU and all that has resulted – in the wake of him walking away in the most cowardly fashion – has been a tragedy for our once great country.

     

    Stranded now in the land of limbo, Britain faces a situation, as reported today on the Mail Online, of a wishy-washy “Canada-style” deal with Europe. This represents an example of the politics of division and the politics of non-practicalities; it will result in nothing but further mess and nothing but additional chaos.

     

    With the “enfant terrible” and bully boy Arron Banks rightly facing an investigation for effectively having funded the campaign that caused what will basically bankrupt Britain with foreign funds, it is now time for something else. Even he thinks that we should now remain in the EU but what Britain actually really needs is new leadership and it needs it now: It’s no longer time for Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn, it’s time to get the tanks on the lawn and it’s time for a coup.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

     

    Calling for a Coup – Britain needs a revolution – Matthew Steeples suggests the mess that is currently Britain needs a wake-up call and it needs a coup.
    Referendum cheat Arron Banks
    Calling for a Coup – Britain needs a revolution – Matthew Steeples suggests the mess that is currently Britain needs a wake-up call and it needs a coup.
    Communist cretin Jeremy Corbyn
    Calling for a Coup – Britain needs a revolution – Matthew Steeples suggests the mess that is currently Britain needs a wake-up call and it needs a coup.
    G4S profiteers Philip and Theresa May
    Calling for a Coup – Britain needs a revolution – Matthew Steeples suggests the mess that is currently Britain needs a wake-up call and it needs a coup.
    Smug coward and all round prat David Cameron
  • The Blatancy of Banks

    The Blatancy of Banks

    The National Crime Agency’s investigation into and that Theresa May stopped a previous inquiry into Arron Banks’ activities is proof that he must now be properly questioned

     

    Arron Banks looks like the kind of a man who’d have been a bully at school. He was actually expelled from two schools – once for stealing the lead off a roof – and was incensed that William Hague effectively termed him a “nobody.”

     

    Named after the Scottish island of Arran (though his parents bizarrely got the spelling wrong), Banks is undoubtedly wealthy but that he likely provided money of dubious source to the Leave.EU campaign is definitely worthy of detailed examination.

     

    Married to a Russian he met at a Britney Spears concert and the driver of a ghastly purple Range Rover – complete with the equally pretentious numberplate “X MI5 SPY” – Banks also co-owns the ridiculous website Westmonster with the “remarkably unpleasant child” and “milk bottle white” Michael Heaver. He hangs around mostly with a supposed “diplomat from Brazil” named Andy Wigmore, hands out diamonds like confetti and is a “man of many legends” according to The Daily Mail’s Andrew Pierce.

     

    Now, however, this ‘Bad Boy of Brexit’s’ business affairs may very well be his undoing.

     

    Pictured: Arron Banks with Andy Wigmore.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

  • Bog Off Brexit

    Bog Off Brexit

    Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London

     

    Yesterday, sporting a Michael Portillo style shirt and a ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ sticker for comedy value, I joined the nigh on 700,000 people at the People’s Vote March in Central London.

     

    Though I expected to ‘march’  alongside my friends Gina and Alan Miller, we actually found ourselves in a somewhat chaotic ‘shuffle.’ Police and organisers, it seemed, could not cope with the numbers – only 100,000 had been expected – but the atmosphere was jovial yet focused on the gathering’s aim.

     

    I met people who’d traveled from places as diverse as Australia, Brussels and Rotherham and I must say some of the placards were brilliant. Ranging from the witty ‘No Deal Means Gucci Will Be More Expensive’ to the plain but clear ‘Brexit? More Like Brexshit,’ attendees got creative. Whilst a woman appeared dressed in a somewhat sexually provocative police costume with a poster claiming: ‘Political Sensitivities My Arse @MetPoliceUK Don’t Let Vote Leave Criminals Off The Hook,’ I also spotted a Boris Johnson lookalike waving and even a poor woman stranded on Park Lane in her G-Wagen.

     

    Overall, though ‘The One Armed Bandit’ did not get to actually hear the speeches from the likes of Deborah Meaden and Delia Smith, I thought the event a success. At least 670,000 – a number larger than the population of Britain’s fifth largest city – made their opinions known and it is now jolly well time Theresa May listened.

     

    #PeoplesVoteMarch #EndTheChaos

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

    Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London. Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London. Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London. Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London. Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London. Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London. Bog Off Brexit – Matthew Steeples & Gina Miller at People’s Vote March – Matthew Steeples reports on his experiences at the People’s Vote March in London.

  • Blind Brexit

    Blind Brexit

    Boris Johnson pictured wheeling Theresa May around Chelsea in a wheel barrow whilst elsewhere the pair of them make themselves known in a phone box

     

    Spotted in Chelsea on Sunday. No comment required.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

  • Bollocks to Brexit

    Bollocks to Brexit

    As Pimlico Plumbers’ founder sticks up a ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ sign on his headquarters and Gina Miller launches ‘End The Chaos!’, The Steeple Times predicts Brexit will NOT actually happen

     

    Charlie Mullins, founder of Pimlico Plumbers, is well-known for having supported Gina Miller’s successful Article 50 case at The Supreme Court.

     

    Now, in a brilliantly bold move, this multi-millionaire businessman has stuck a huge sign on his company’s headquarters in Waterloo that reads: “Bollocks to Brexit, It’s not a done deal.”

     

    Shared on Facebook by a Facebook group named ‘Pants to Brexit,’ an image of this gigantic yellow and black announcement comes just as Miller herself launched a new campaign called ‘End the Chaos!’ It also accompanied revelations of Tony Blair, Nick Clegg and Sir John Major holding “secret meetings” to establish how Britain could actually remain in the EU.

     

    We join Mr Mullins in saying: “BOLLOCKS TO BREXIT” and look forward to the imminent collapse of the mess that she who’s been too busy wandering in the wheatfields presides over.

     

    Please join those backing ‘End the Chaos’ – Let the people decide by clicking here.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes